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-By Caleb Jones
Our society is a Viking ship. 100 of us are in the bowels of the ship, with oars in our hands, tasked with moving the ship forward.
In the front of the ship, about five people are constantly rowing very hard, sweating, sore, teeth gritted. They row endlessly, diligently, every day.
Next to them is one guy who isn’t rowing at all. He’s sitting on his fat butt eating a cheeseburger and relaxing.
Behind them are about 64 people who sometimes row, and sometimes don’t. When they actually row, its with inconsistent intensity. Some row hard for a while, some row softly. It depends on the day and how they feel.
Behind them are about 30 people who not only are not rowing, but they’re jamming their oars into the ship and keeping them stationary in the water. This drags the entire ship, making it that much more difficult to propel forward. It makes those who are rowing work harder to keep the ship moving.
These 30 people look at the front of the ship, see the one guy relaxing with the cheeseburger, and start insulting not only him, but the five guys next to him who are constantly rowing. The 30 call all six of these guys greedy, criminal, and the cause of all their problems. According to them them, it’s these six guys’ fault that the 30 are in the back of the ship.
The one guy with the cheeseburger just shrugs, ignores it, and keeps eating and enjoying himself.
The five hard rowing guys every once and a while look back while they’re rowing and say, “Why are you yelling at us? Can’t you see how hard we’re rowing? If we weren’t rowing this ship wouldn’t even be moving.”
The 30 respond, “Screw you! You’re not rowing! You’re just sitting on your asses eating cheeseburgers!”
“What?” the five respond, “Hello? That one guy over there is doing that. Clearly you can see we’re not eating, we’re rowing. We’re rowing harder than you. You’re not even rowing! Why don’t you guys start rowing a little and helping out? Or hell, at least pull your damn oars out of the water to make it a little easier on the rest of us rowers.”
At this, the 64 moderate rowers scream at the five hard rowers and say, “Hey! Shut up! How dare you attack the 30! You guys are racist, sexist, bigoted, homophobes! It’s not their fault they’re shoving their oars in the water! As a matter of fact, it’s your fault!”
The yelling gets louder and louder, as the 30 and the 64 combined continue to insult the five. The five try to respond while rowing, but can’t do much else. They’re too busy rowing.
Next to them, the cheeseburger guy chuckles, relaxes back in his chair, and has another sandwich.
In the front of the ship, about five people are constantly rowing very hard, sweating, sore, teeth gritted. They row endlessly, diligently, every day.
Next to them is one guy who isn’t rowing at all. He’s sitting on his fat butt eating a cheeseburger and relaxing.
Behind them are about 64 people who sometimes row, and sometimes don’t. When they actually row, its with inconsistent intensity. Some row hard for a while, some row softly. It depends on the day and how they feel.
Behind them are about 30 people who not only are not rowing, but they’re jamming their oars into the ship and keeping them stationary in the water. This drags the entire ship, making it that much more difficult to propel forward. It makes those who are rowing work harder to keep the ship moving.
These 30 people look at the front of the ship, see the one guy relaxing with the cheeseburger, and start insulting not only him, but the five guys next to him who are constantly rowing. The 30 call all six of these guys greedy, criminal, and the cause of all their problems. According to them them, it’s these six guys’ fault that the 30 are in the back of the ship.
The one guy with the cheeseburger just shrugs, ignores it, and keeps eating and enjoying himself.
The five hard rowing guys every once and a while look back while they’re rowing and say, “Why are you yelling at us? Can’t you see how hard we’re rowing? If we weren’t rowing this ship wouldn’t even be moving.”
The 30 respond, “Screw you! You’re not rowing! You’re just sitting on your asses eating cheeseburgers!”
“What?” the five respond, “Hello? That one guy over there is doing that. Clearly you can see we’re not eating, we’re rowing. We’re rowing harder than you. You’re not even rowing! Why don’t you guys start rowing a little and helping out? Or hell, at least pull your damn oars out of the water to make it a little easier on the rest of us rowers.”
At this, the 64 moderate rowers scream at the five hard rowers and say, “Hey! Shut up! How dare you attack the 30! You guys are racist, sexist, bigoted, homophobes! It’s not their fault they’re shoving their oars in the water! As a matter of fact, it’s your fault!”
The yelling gets louder and louder, as the 30 and the 64 combined continue to insult the five. The five try to respond while rowing, but can’t do much else. They’re too busy rowing.
Next to them, the cheeseburger guy chuckles, relaxes back in his chair, and has another sandwich.
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