I was the stereotypical 40yr old. Beta male trapped in a loveless sexless marriage for 12
years. Staying together “for the kids”. It wasn’t always this way. Before marriage I dated a lot
and had crazy times. But the Societal Programming was strong and I knew I had to “grow up”
and “settle down”. I was more Alpha then, and met another Alpha woman. The sex was great at
first and the relationship was fiery and exciting. Typical dual-Alpha relationship that starts fun
but is doomed. To be honest, she was more Alpha than I was. I started backing down, for the
sake of keeping our relationship together. Societal Programming taught me that “marriages are
hard work”, so I assumed they were supposed to suck 50% of the time. She wanted marriage – I
got married. She wanted kids – we had kids.
Fast forward a decade later and I woke up one morning wondering where my balls had
gone and who was this pathetic miserable person I’d become? I was still Alpha in my business
life. I hold a high level position at a Fortune 100 company. I lead multiple teams of people and
they respect me. I take charge at work. At home, I was a sniveling groveling loser.
I discovered Blackdragon’s blog in February of 2015. I was fascinated by the concepts,
framework, ideas…everything. I bought his books. I soaked it in like a sponge. It helped me
realize that it wasn’t too late for me. I had a lot to offer and became a student of “the game”. I had
a few natural strengths to leverage – I have moderately attractive looks and I’m 6′ tall and I have a
good paying job, so that definitely helped. I decided to salvage my life and filed for divorce a
month later.
I took a few months to get my life in order. I didn’t need any time for emotional repair
because I had stopped loving my ex years ago. I was excited and ready to move on. But I needed
a few months to get logistics in order and calm my life down. During that time I read all of
Blackdragon’s books, past articles, and started branching out into other articles and blogs on the
manosphere. Not all of it resonated with me. Some of it I vehemently disagreed with but reading
the thought processes and explanations was fascinating and I learned a lot. I started crafting my
online profile, getting pictures taken, updating my wardrobe, and working out and eating right. I
took about 5 months to get ready and then I launched into action. I created profiles on multiple
sites, followed Blackdragon’s advice, sent out my openers, and waited for the sexy women to
come pounding down my door!
…yeah, that didn’t quite happen. It was a learning process. I analyzed my efforts and
figured out where I could make improvements. The responses were low and there were multiple
false starts. But I was mentally prepared for this and knew these things take time. I worked at it.
Some of Blackdragon’s teachings didn’t feel right to me. So I altered some of them. Sometimes it
turned out to be a mistake. Bad stuff would happen and I’d say “Oh ok NOW I see why he says
to do X.” But other times I’d alter the plan to suit my own personality and goals and make it my
own. I learned that Blackdragon’s teachings aren’t immutable gospel. They are a toolbox of
tactics, personality hints, and other things. Strong suggestions that most people should probably
follow, but everyone is different and you need to customize things to your situation.
I started going out on dates. Many dates. Most failed miserably. I refined the process. It’s
a continuous improvement loop. Sometimes I did a poor job of filtering out a bad candidate.
Other times I screwed up the first meet in some way. I worked at it. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
A few months went by. Eventually the numbers game paid off and I found the girls I was looking
for. Girls that were cool with non-monogamy, looked good, were fun and low drama. I would
date multiple women at a time. Some would leave because they wanted exclusivity, or money, or
whatever. No worries. Strong abundance mentality carried me through. Eventually I worked my
way to where I am now – a rotating roster of beautiful cool women that think I’m amazing and
know I’m not exclusive. Will it last? No of course not. At least in the sense that this particular
group won’t stay intact. Some will leave but I can get more. I haven’t been doing this long
enough to see if any of the ones that have left will “boomerang” back to me eventually, but I
don’t care either way.
Today I have 4 woman that I have active sexual relationships with at least once per
month. 3 of them are weekly.
FB – 38 year old woman in an open marriage. Hot body but the emotional side is a bit distant. I
see her about once per month.
OLTR – 36 year old that pitched the idea of open relationships TO ME before I even need to
bring it up 🙂 She is attractive and loves to explore. She brings me to swinger clubs.
MLTR – 30 year old hottie that likes to watch guy flicks so it’s very chill. This one may not last
because she’s not keen on the non-exclusive part. That’s ok. I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.
MLTR – 20 year old stunner. That’s right – 20. She’s into older guys. She’s very chill and likes to
smoke weed with me occasionally. (It’s legal in my state) This girl sends me NSFW snapchat
messages constantly. Very hot.
I’ve been dating all of the above for over 2 months. A couple of them for 5 months. And
there’s 2 more girls that I’m going on 3rd dates with that are very eager to see me. Both of them
are 20 as well! I had to disable my dating profiles and stop using Tinder because I’m
overburdened with prospects right now. What an amazing problem to have!
My friends barely believe me when I tell them, until I send them pics. It blows their
mind. I’m living a fantasy according to them. The “me” from 5 years ago would not have
believed it was possible – it’s all so surreal. My happiness is off the charts. I’m a realist and I
know there will be down times and setbacks. I know some girls will leave. But I have the tools
and the mindset to move forward.
I’m living the dream. It took hard work, guts, time, and a lot of online learning – mostly
from Blackdragon.
The hardest part is taking that first step.