138 Comments on “Where I Have Failed With My Weight”

1. That was magnanimous.

    

   Hardest life area for me by far is financial. That is until being a daydreamer is a viable profession (and no, philosophy professors don’t count.)

2. Pickup and relationships came with great difficulty as well but I eventually got the pickup part down pat. It took a lot of effort, but I focused hard and results did come after a time. I too am a high sex drive guy so I knew I needed to learn game. I think Roissy referred to game as ‘applied charisma’ once or twice and that’s an excellently succinct way to put it. Before, I mainly got laid through social circle which is elementally different from cold approach. Cold approaching American women during the day or night is the trial by fire that separates the men from the boys.

   Could never get the hang of online game but if the feminazis have their way and cold approaching becomes outlawed, I rest easy knowing BD’s books are on the shelves, as it were.

3. Why don’t you automate everything and have a personal chef and trainer that makes you delicious food and also with your goal in mind? Tai Lopez has it, it seems to work great with his busy schedule and if you are travelling, there are companies that deliver healthy food to any place on the planet.

4. Hi Caleb,

   Great article!

   My physical life has always been an easy one for me.

   Now your help has been crucial for me to become better in my financial, business, relationship, fatherhood life.

   We all have work to do in all 7slas but having seen the picture of yourself on the forum for the business course, you looked very good. Living in the UK, you can tap yourself on the back for the achievement as not a lot of men look as good in ypur range age.

   Pumped and excited for the business course as I know this will change my life in amazing ways I can’t even dream!

5. Interesting and honest post. As I love beer I have to exercise a lot or will get a gut. You are lucky in having no taste for alcohol. To keep on top of my weight I weigh myself every morning and clamp down if it goes up. Heavy lifting twice a week and jogging twice a week have fortunately always worked  for me. Good luck with your struggle.

6. if the feminazis get their way and cold approaching becomes outlawed

   Lol! I’ve heard this so many times and still can’t believe guys buy into this. You won’t ever get accused of being a sexual predator in the street unless your pick-up technique consists of grabbing a girl and saying “Wanna f-ck?!” or your a creepy guy who just can’t read social scenarios.

   The takeaway from all this is that you can create a good life even if you really suck at certain things. I have my own set of problems and weaknesses just like you. Just don’t use them as excuses, and keep working on them.

   I’ll keep working on mine.

   Wise words.

   I’m in a similar circumstance, in that I’m an ecto/mesomorph body so I have slim legs & arms but a bit chubby around the waist and chest (‘skinny fat guy’ basically).

   If I try and push the cardio/fasting angle, I lose muscle tone and look tired & drawn and get ‘are you ill?’ comments. If I start trying to bulk up with heavy weight training, I get better definition but look fatter round the middle.

   I’ve done a load of the things you listed on your other post, again with similar results.

   I think, we have to accept that our bodies can’t be the same as even other guys our age/build/lifestyle and just keep exercising regularly and eating healthily when we can. The danger is just to think “Other stuff is good, so why bother” but we all know that’s a slippery slope that can just snowball out of control and mess up other parts of our lives.

7. I realized the same thing you did because I’m very successful at fitness and women, but struggle a lot with my weakest area which is business.

   And I get the same impressions you do when someone approaches me and says: “but how can you have big arms like this?”. Or when some woman see me naked and says: “Oh my gosh, I wish I had a butt as hard as yours” LOL. I just chuckle and say “diet, exercises and consistency”.

   I still think the main issue for all our life struggles is purely mental.

   No, I’m not saying I could have Arnold’s 1982’s body (I can’t, I’m an ectomorph). But I just made a pact with myself when I was 15 yo that I would succeed in this area, no matter what. And so I did! (and still do).

   About this Carb Nite stuff, it makes a lot of sense from a standpoint of balancing your hormones. You’re pushing the limits of your low insulin levels before your body goes into survival mode (which triggers a lot of undesirable effects, like fucking up your grelin levels, giving you those bad cravings and increasing fat storage once you revert back to a normal diet). In fact, it’s nothing more than the old carb cycling diet pushed a little further. Seems like good stuff for an endo!

   If I were you, once this diet is over, I would cut dairy for good (cottage cheese being the only exception) and avoid wheat flour as the plague. Unfortunately after a certain age (I would guess 35) our bodies become very deficient in digesting lactosis and the fat from milk, which fucks up our digestion and leaves us severe bloated no matter what. This happens to everybody!

   On the other hand wheat flour increases intestine inflamation, which affects our capacity to process, digest and absorb nutrients. So even if you eat “clean”, your body will not reap the benefits of those good foods.

   Anyway, I hope you succeed on this endeavor. It’s hard for sure, but still doable.

   ~POB

8. plus my extreme love of food (which I’ve noticed a lot of fit / skinny guys don’t have)

    

   Yep ^^

   I generally dislike most food. It’s more time consuming and expensive than anything else. I’ve never understood how seemingly everything in the USA is planned around food. Sales meeting? Bring the donuts! Yuck. Let’s try that new restaurant! Why? So I can spend $150 and feel lethargic afterwords? No thanks.

   I’ve never really had a problem with body fat. I held approx 12% from age 20 up until about age 32 (I’m 36), then it started to creep up. Got my T tested this year (thanks to the blog posts here about it) and it was 273 haha.

   Financially I’m good. Haven’t made less than $200k per year in the last 12 years (self-employed)

   It’s the woman part of my life, after a 15 year marriage plus living in a lower population area, that still needs work (lots and lots of work)

9. Hey BD, I checked your list and didn’t see the only one thing that has worked for me. I have a shitty metabolism, an endomorphic body and on top of that I never, repeat never, did any weight-loosing exercise. I love food and live in a place where it’s abundant and extremely tasty.

   So here it goes. It’s simple.

   “Do not eat in the evening”

   That’s it. No supper. If I don’t do that, I keep getting chubbier and chubbier. As soon as I do that, my weight plummets and quickly stabilises to my ideal figure. I still eat what I want without any restriction.

   It just works for me. Your mileage may vary, of course.

    

10. Would it be unacceptable for you to take 3 months off your work and exercise 5-6 hours per day for those 3 months (eg kinda like Will Smith did to prepare for Ali, customized for your case), considering it’s rather uncontroversial that maintenance, once a level is achieved, requires much less work afterwards?

    The reason formerly chubby actors (yes I know Smith wasn’t chubby) can get in such good shape so fast is that they can afford to make it their full time job for a few months, and they more or less maintain their shape after that even though their “physique time” will then be cut down to a few hours week.

    I’ve often heard that “you can’t out-train a bad diet”, but I strongly feel that you can out-train a mediocre (not bad) diet, eg a serious diet that you’re occasionally cheating on. I mean, jeez, what the fuck is so hard about spending more calories than you take in? Even if you’re eating McDo’s multiple times per week, you’ll still lose weight if you’re burning 3000+ calories per day. Just declare a temporary state of war and get it done, gods know you can afford it. And given your energy levels thanks to TRT it shouldn’t even be that challenging.

     

11. Can’t help myself.  I’m 41, been 30-40 pounds overweight since my early twenties… well for the past year I have been on the keto diet.  I lost 30 pounds in the first 6 months and maintained it for the most recent 6 months.  This is the longest I have maintained this weight since my freshman year in college!  If you have any questions let me know 🙂

12. I used to be able to juice fast, do HIIT, and lift heavy in order to lose a surprising amount of inches and pounds quickly, then keep them off if I was reasonable with my diet and lifestyle.   After abusing substances I found that nothing worked for weight loss, even juice cleansing for a month,  doing HIIT, and lifting regularly only yielded a meager 7 pound weight loss (yikes!). Additionally I would crave foods like sugar horribly.

     

    I did some research and found a naturopath.   He tested me for food allergies and candida.  Candida is like fungus in the body that makes the person absolutely crave sugar in order to feed and multiply. Food allergies/intolerances can cause food addiction and craving also, additionally if a person with candida eats a food they’re allergic to it allows the candida to grow.    If someone is intolerant or allergic to a food, when that food is consumed it stresses out the kidney, liver, digestive tract, and sometimes even the endocrine system.   When those systems are stressed, especially the kidneys, endocrine, and liver, they can’t do their job and help a person lose weight.  Another issue that crops up is after being allergic to food for awhile those organs have been chronically stressed and stop doing their job as well, making it more difficult even if the person has stopped consuming the offending substances.

     

    Being on this program I haven’t exercised much but I’ve had to put multiple new holes in my belt and have lost 10 pounds going from 180 to 170 in 6 weeks while having next to zero food cravings.  If you’re interested I can send you my guys info, I live in the North West too so he’s somewhat accessible to you.

13. I have lost 190 lbs and still working on losing more.  I was over 400.  I consider myself very knowledgeable in losing weight and have casually coached coworkers and friends who have lost plenty as well.  I initially lost the bulk weight, by following the Original Atkins diet from Dr. Atkins original book.  It absolutely will work but carbs are in things that so many folks overlook, and just a little hidden carbs or sugar can throw you off for days, so it requires extreme dedication and strict adherence, making it easy to fail.

    That said, I no longer do low-carb because the lack of variety was something I could not sustain permanently.  I have since switched to determining a daily caloric intake that keeps me losing about 1 lb per week.  I read your list and you said this:

    “Carefully tracking calories via kitchen scales and apps like Lose It!”
    The accuracy of calculating calories in items by weight or size or apps is so inaccurate that it often can ruin progress and discourage continuation.  But tracking calories is the most basic and simplistic way to lose weight.  If you take in less calories than you burn in a day, you will ALWAYS lose weight.  It’s science.  There is no way around that fact.

    You must buy prepackaged food, or food that states the entire amount of calories and can easily be figured out based on the portion removed from the entire package.  This is hard for some folks because they want fresh food not prepackaged stuff.  But this is the only way I know of to be sure of your caloric intake and it works.  I make sure each meal I eat has less than 600 calories which means I allow myself a maximum of 1800 calories per day.  This will maintain my weight.  Therefore all I do is try to stay as far under 600 calories for each meal as I can stand.  If I get hungry between meals, I drink water until it is time for the next meal.  Some meals I will only eat 450 calories.  The more often I’m able to do that, the quicker I will lose.  I also do cardio to increase metabolism, but exercise, while great for toning and actually looking and feeling healthier, is not as important in my opinion as diet.

    You mention eating healthy food.  On both diets I have lost weight on, neither did I eat healthy.  Bacon and eggs and hamburger on Atkins, and on low calorie, I eat whatever the fuck I want in moderation.  I can eat fast food all day and lose weight as long as I stay under 600 calories per meal.  It’s that simple.  And fast food lists the entire calorie count for all food items.  Figure out your daily caloric intake needed to maintain your weight, then break that down in to 3 meals or if you want, 5 smaller meals a day, and teach yourself to eat less than that calorie amount per day.  Also don’t eat after 8pm.  You don’t have to eat healthy foods like fruit and vegetable if you don’t want.  Those are good if you work out, as they will nourish your body better than junk food, but you can still eat whatever you want.

    Let’s say you are craving a donut for breakfast.  You are dieting though, so that’s not allowed, right?  Wrong.  The donut is maybe 300 calories.  You might be able to have 2 of them.  You are starving maybe, and could eat 3, but you watch your calories, eat 1 and a half, consume 450 calories, and are well under where you should be for calories consumed.  You just satisfied your craving and didn’t hurt your diet a bit.  It works.

14. Did you see the video about Jodan Peterson’s diet and how it changed his life?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw8Rf9h0-Sk

    I believe he’s switched to an all steak diet since then which has been even better for him

15. it all adds up to a lot of factors that make keeping a consistently steady healthy diet of vegetables and healthy proteins extremely difficult.

    I’m beginning to doubt the credibility of veggies being necessary. Like the above guy, an all meat diet seems the most legit (although you gotta get GOOD meat, not the crap they sell in the supermarket). Victor Pride wrote about it awhile back:

    https://boldanddetermined.com/raw-meat-diet/

    My most difficult life area for me is money. There’s just some part of me that is just opposed to making more money. It’s like I’m scared of my own success. I’m so bad I probably won’t be able to buy the video course which is pathetic.

16. Let’s say you are craving a donut for breakfast.  You are dieting though, so that’s not allowed, right?  Wrong.  The donut is maybe 300 calories.  You might be able to have 2 of them.  You are starving maybe, and could eat 3, but you watch your calories, eat 1 and a half, consume 450 calories, and are well under where you should be for calories consumed.  You just satisfied your craving and didn’t hurt your diet a bit.  It works.

    That only works if you are very active. I also eat my share of junk food, but a normal work out session for me is a mile and some change walk to my local track, doing 30-40 push ups before running 3-5 sets of sprints, another 30-40 push ups, then walk home. I do this on an empty stomach. And even that’s not enough if you are like me or Caleb where you gain weight by looking at food haha.

    I will say this, after doing 8 sets of squats or deadlifts, you’ve earned whatever junk food you want lol.

17. Hey Caleb,

    There’s something I noticed that isn’t quite exactly on your list that I’ve had some success with (but for gaining muscle, it works equally as well for cutting body fat %). You mentioned you’ve done daily tracking … but have you ever tried meal planning (obviously preparing meals where you know how many calories are there), and then making calculations based on how many calories you burn with your exercises per week, and then staying in that 20-25% calorie reduction weekly while hitting the gym and maintaining muscle, so you’re generally only losing body fat %?

    Requires you to be pretty disciplined for 90 days or so but…if you stick with it and do it correctly, once that body fat % is dropped to where you get to, at that point you can generally eat normally again and just maintain that body weight. The hard part is first dropping that excess body fat %.

    If you’ve already done this then all good … wanted to at least suggest it

18. That only works if you are very active. I also eat my share of junk food, but a normal work out session for me is a mile and some change walk to my local track, doing 30-40 push ups before running 3-5 sets of sprints, another 30-40 push ups, then walk home. I do this on an empty stomach. And even that’s not enough if you are like me or Caleb where you gain weight by looking at food haha.

    I will say this, after doing 8 sets of squats or deadlifts, you’ve earned whatever junk food you want lol.

    Science though.  Eat less calories than you burn, period.  If you are not active at all, then you might need to only have 400 calories per meal.  I didn’t even calculate mine, just guessed at 1800 cal per day, then tried it, noticed I maintained my weight for about 3 days and lost a pound for the week.  I decided that 600 cal a meal was to maintain or lose very slowly so I try to eat even less than 600 per meal and it truly works.  If I run each day, I will get hungrier than a day when I don’t work out, but that’s when I drink water and fill my stomach with water to get by til the next meal.  It’s working great for me.  I look better than I ever have in my life, and I was 160 lbs when i graduated high school.  I’ve been well over 400 lbs and never dreamed I could be this size again and getting all these women, but it’s great.

19. extreme love of food (which I’ve noticed a lot of fit / skinny guys don’t have)

    Hamstering a tiny bit on this one….I dropped to ~162 pounds when I was about 42/43 and have been there since, am your age at 46, but structurally smaller than you….

    I love food. Even in my relatively small apartment, I have a kitchen better than many housewives.

    It’s all about cost control and portion control. I make very, very rich food, sometimes as low as $2 or $3 per plate yet tastier than anything you’ll get under 3 stars.

    I keep getting laid with super attractive women regardless of how chubby I seem to be

    Incentives matter. One of my ex gf’s has the same problem, she wants to keep a few more pounds off but finds there is zero difference in terms of attractiveness.

    I’m in a way different place in my life than you are. I’m still digging out of a hole from getting laid off in ’08 and riding the recession out in college. I have a 6 year plan to get out of debt, get my investments in order, and be ready to do whatever comes next…..but in the mean time, from an American middle class point of view, I’m going to be poor as fuck, decent income mostly going into debt service and savings so I can be more anti-fragile (and therefore happy).

    One benefit of the Blackdragon dating system is it’s all about not spending money. This is good because I can’t. OLTR‘s and sugar babies are well out of my price range. Instead, I keep my skinny ass under the barbell and grapple. The gainz are indisputable, I get women opening me these days. Some level of the 80/20 rule is operating here. I was never ugly, but once I developed a modest V-taper, got my shoulders back and down, and fixed my anterior pelvic tilt (a man should walk around like he’s fucking the world, not getting fucked by the world) there was an almost instant extreme uptick in IOI’s.

    GLL’s methods for attracting girls, BD’s for keeping them in rotation.

    If I was making 6 figures, owned a home, and was getting laid with hot women on the regular, I would be far less incentivized to go for the chiseled physique, and perhaps would even be chubby again, as I was from my late 20’s to early 40’s. Because I’m older and so obviously useless as a Provider, I figure going for extreme attractiveness is the best way forward.

    Young guys, fucking listen to BD and get your shit together overworking in your 20’s so you don’t have to do it in your 40’s like I am.

20. Check info on gut bacteria. Lately there’s been a bunch of publications relating accummulation of bodyweight and what’s digesting our food within.

21. You must buy prepackaged food, or food that states the entire amount of calories and can easily be figured out based on the portion removed from the entire package.  This is hard for some folks because they want fresh food not prepackaged stuff.  But this is the only way I know of to be sure of your caloric intake and it works.

    Strict calorie control helped me lose weight initially and overall you are bang on right……but fuck prepackaged food. The USDA has a website that lists the calorie count for pretty much all food. It’s a bit more work, but so what. Food is so much tastier fresh!

22. I was 160 lbs when i graduated high school.  I’ve been well over 400 lbs

    How’s your skin? Did you lose weight slowly enough, or are you young enough, to have avoided problems?

23. Hey BD, just curious; how much do you weigh, and what do you want to be at?

24. Why don’t you automate everything and have a personal chef and trainer that makes you delicious food and also with your goal in mind?

    I could have a battery of trainers and chefs and I can can still eat macaroni or doughnuts or whatever when they are placed in front of me when I go out to eat with friends or family or have a client meeting where they’re eating pastries, or when I’m traveling and these trainers/chefs aren’t anywhere near me, etc, etc. That’s the problem (and I completely understand many men can’t relate to having that problem).

    I have said that my goal is to indeed hire a chef to bulk-prepare meals for me once a week, but that is something I will do for time management and health purposes, not fat loss.

    I think, we have to accept that our bodies can’t be the same as even other guys our age/build/lifestyle and just keep exercising regularly and eating healthily when we can.

    Yes, I’ve already accepted that a long time ago. I will never have anything like six pack abs.

    But, that doesn’t mean I can’t look at least decent in terms of body fat. I think that’s an achievable goal.

    If I were you, once this diet is over

    Yeah, once the weight is all lost and I look more or less the way I want, I will switch to something very different, something much more long-term healthy and sustainable.

    “Do not eat in the evening”

    Yes, I have done many diets where there was was no eating past 4pm.

    Would it be unacceptable for you to take 3 months off your work and exercise 5-6 hours per day for those 3 months (eg kinda like Will Smith did to prepare for Ali, customized for your case), considering it’s rather uncontroversial that maintenance, once a level is achieved, requires much less work afterwards?

    I have considered it, but since business is my life and my financial goals would take a big hit, I really, really wouldn’t like it.

    If I continue to beat my head against a wall I may consider something that extreme in the future. Hopefully I won’t have to go that far.

    have you ever tried meal planning (obviously preparing meals where you know how many calories are there), and then making calculations based on how many calories you burn with your exercises per week, and then staying in that 20-25% calorie reduction weekly while hitting the gym and maintaining muscle, so you’re generally only losing body fat %?

    Yes, extensively.

    Check info on gut bacteria.

    I have, extensively. I have regularly taken fiber, probiotics, green drinks, avoid bacteria-creating foods, etc.

    As I said, you guys can keep trying to find something I haven’t done… good luck. This is a mental problem, not a technical one.

    Hey BD, just curious; how much do you weigh, and what do you want to be at?

    I’d prefer to keep that to myself at the moment because talking about these specific numbers would create a slew of needless conversations, arguments, and topic derails. (It’s same reason I don’t publicly reveal how many women I’ve had sex with, or exactly how much money I make, and so on. I’m a professional blogger with 10 years of experience; I know where these things lead.)

25. Good on you for not giving up. Yes, even not getting worse is SO much better than letting yourself go, especially as you get into your later years.

    I second the stuff on looking in to changing your gut microflora.

    Also, it’s probably time to spend the money to have a diet/fitness coach work with you on a daily or weekly basis. You can’t do it all alone, not with the level of difficulty you’re having. The guys at Barbell Medicine are strength athlete MDs who are super wonky about nutrition, muscle building, weight loss, etc. and they provide coaching services. Check them out.

    Even though you are strict about no drugs, there are some appetite suppressants you might consider using at least for the first few weeks of a new diet regime or during times when you might face additional temptation. They really won’t kill you and some are mostly natural supplements.

26. Have you heard of  keto? It’s getting pretty popular thanks to the Joe Rogan podcast

27. Im dragging my previously unhealthy ass out of a hole.  Weight is good but drinking to excess and eating candy everyday for last year and a half gave me diverticulitis and an ulcer.  I was drinking so much because I was going out on dates so often.  Finally it caught up to me.  Also wrecked havoc on my finances.  Now I do IF, only drink once a week, and rarely eat out.  of course had to give up on fucking 20 year old sugar babies for now til I get the finances back in order.  If I want sex, someone usually comes to me, which means I have less sex, but I still get more than I actually want or need.  My goal is to be financially independent (isn’t that hard if you cut your living expenses way down and invest aggressively in passive income) within 5 years and be in perfect shape (10lbs to go) while still getting laid when I want.  They all go hand and hand for me.  If I have an ailment I don’t even care if I have sex and I lose money.

28. I say this with respect BD as you’ve genuinely changed my life, I think you are being lazy about health and fitness by your own standards. Good information is publicly available and if you consume a lot of it it’s not difficult to start creating testable hypotheses the same way you did for dating back in the day. There are a large amount of partially or fully compromised scientists that you will have to account for but it’s manageable. Looking in dark corners will be important.
     
    Copying diet methodologies is low effort in the same way a get rich quick business guru doesn’t really get anyone rich. Diet and nutrition knowledge is in it’s infancy and unfortunately in this type information environment your best bet is to learn for yourself through split testing.
     
    I’m an “endomorph”, with visible abs and big muscles while lifting 2-3 times per week (for 30-40 minutes), not doing a lot of cardio AND eating till I’m full every meal (4k-5k calories per day at 190 lbs). I also used to be skinny fat while working out VERY hard. I don’t mind proving it to individuals privately if needed.

    On my side of the table, I see guys (both in my real life and on the internet) who are trim and fit without trying very hard, and I just don’t understand how they do it. I’ve personally known guys who lost 70 pounds in just three months, just one time, with minimal effort, and kept the weight off forever, no problem.

    Correct, I believe it’s clear there are more mechanisms at play than just CICO for overweight populations. Current estimates are that a pound of fat requires a 7000 calorie deficit to remove, I’ve also seen these people in real life lose big weight and they are not creating a nearly 50k calorie deficit in 3 months (550 per day) especially when we consider metabolism adapts. Furthermore, diet statistics show that an overwhelming majority of diets result in the regain of the weight within 2 years.
     
    The exceptions here are proving something important here in that the diet and exercise model is just a portion of the equation.
     
    Part way through I realized it’s way too much work to write out the basis of what I do in a comment so I’m including jumping off points for theories that should allow you to start researching some lesser known ideas that have a good probability of applying to you:
     
    #1 Extreme cravings theoretically mean you body is nutrient starved (I say this as someone who used to eat 5k calories of dessert in one sitting), willpower is unlikely to help you much more (since you’re way above average willpower)

    #2 The number one risk factor for obesity is starvation diets / yoyo dieting (well known principle from natural body building trainers), investigate reverse dieting and metabolic adaption research (for a given diet time length it takes TWICE as long for your metabolism to recover)

    #3 Dilution theory that your body manages allergies / “toxins” by retaining water and body fat to protect organs and vital processes (posited by Jordan Peterson with a fascinating individual case study)

    #4 You can start to quantify health and diet impact by regularly tracking changes in elimination, body smell, energy + symptoms after eating

    #5 Weak or strong digestion could explain a lot “genetic freaks” who are jacked but barely lift and dedicated athletes who look like a doughy mess. I’d anticipate going way beyond the basic “eating sauerkraut helps your gut flora!” advice

    #6 Consider seriously how much information bias is going to exist around supplements (an extremely profitable business model)

    #7 Food categorization and ratio testing, I believe there’s no generally applicable healthy food for an individual. We’ve given special status to non-starchy vegetables (greens, mushrooms, etc.) and demonized starchy categories (potatoes, corn). I currently eat 4 lbs of corn/potatoes per day. Many other trainers talk about not digesting non-starchy vegetables well

    #8 Reducing variables, there’s so many chemicals entering our bodies that getting testable baselines is key to learning. Given a standard grocery store product has between 10-50 ingredients you need to plan for this in your testing.

    #9 Accounting for imperfect willpower. Given how primal food urges are I don’t believe that quitting sugar / other bad habits cold turkey will work for most over long periods of time. I utilized testing periods where I would have 100% adherence for a period of time (ranging from 3 days to 3 months) when I would then return to my baseline eating habits so that I would re-experience the negative effects of my standard diet in relation to the test. Eventually this solved the willpower issue due to wanting to avoid the negative and painful effects more than how tasty food is (and I also fucking love eating)
     
    #10 Food utilization percentage, there are several hypothetical mechanisms showing calories can be processed at drastically differing percentages. This could explain why I can eat 5k calories and lose weight while someone the same size can eat 2500 calories and gain weight. Look at thermal effect of food, processed food research (near 100% utilization) and how metabolic adaption could impact utilization
     
    Feel free to ask any questions.

29. I’m liking Shawn Stevenson lately.  He talks more about hormones and lifting and sleep and nutrition over calories and cardio.  He says that eating fat doesn’t make you fat, like eating a blueberry doesn’t make you look like a blueberry.  He has a good book on sleep (temperature below 69 degrees), and a more expensive fat loss program that I haven’t tried.

     

30. BD, you are 100% correct in thinking it is a mental “issue” holding you back. This is apparent when you mention your love of food, not wanting to give up the “freedom,” your hunger/cravings, and that you have tried so many different things.

    Have you tried rewiring your brain’s reward systems to automatically push you towards your diet/fitness goals?

    The reason business is so easy for you is because your brain gives you immense pleasure for completing the tasks and making progress towards your goals.

    You can do the same for any goals. When you are feeling strong mental resistance (often manifested as physical discomfort or pain), identify the cause and rewire the reward circuitry. It takes a long time to rewire strong pathways, but IMO is the only way for lasting change.

    There are planty of resources and books about this, so I won’t go into it further. However, the “your brain on porn” website has some good scientific information about it which can be applied to any addiction.

    Good luck!

31. BD probably knows that already but the problem is he doesnt really want to be fit, he prefers to be chubby. Praxeology.

    I admit it doesnt bode well for a guy that preaches extreme focus and discipline as the way to succeed. Especially considering fitness is an area of life where much more people are at least not bad. Genetics are a bitch but being not-chubby is much more about metabolism and easily changed in a couple of years if you change your lifestyle. At least BD knows that this kind of lackadaisical effort is exactly what makes so many people never leave the blue pill or never make much money: the’re simply content with bad results as long as it doesnt demand much energy.

    In the end, people will only push themselves as far as they subconsciously consider a minimal acceptable level of competence on that area, never further. Some people are endlessly ambitious in several areas, and will push themselves further than anyone (and possibly develop high levels of anxiety/stress if they never achieve it), some people are not ambitious at all and will be fine at being fat and broke and alone. Later on they will turn depressive and frustrated. Most likely people that push themselves over the curve, aiming reachable goals for themselves, are the ones that turn out more happy in life.

    The key question for me is what really triggers those thresholds: genetics? nurturing? bad experiences? probably a mix of all that.

32. My math above was missing a zero, 7000 calories per lb * 70 lbs = 490,000 calorie deficit or 5k calories per day deficit. The people who drop 70+ lbs quickly and keep it off are utilizing some mechanism other than calorie / energy expenditure as the primary driver.

33. I could have a battery of trainers and chefs and I can can still eat macaroni or doughnuts or whatever when they are placed in front of me when I go out to eat with friends or family or have a client meeting where they’re eating pastries, or when I’m traveling and these trainers/chefs aren’t anywhere near me, etc, etc.

    So… A self-control and/or will-power problem?  I certainly cannot relate to that.  It is true there needs to be a motivating factor to drive you to use that will power.  Since you get as high of quality women as you want and your health doesn’t suffer, that possibly explains why you cannot motivate yourself to use more self control when food is around.

    Being at a very healthy weight will prolong your life and drastically benefit you as you age in multiple health aspects and improve your appearance.  Perhaps that could be enough motivation?

    What I’m getting at is you might need to find more reasons why you need to lose weight to boost your motivation in this area. If you are motivated enough you should be able to use more self control.

34. I recommend reading The Hungry Brain for Stephan Guyenet for more info on this. It explains why some people just can’t lose weight permanently no matter what they do:

    http://slatestarcodex.com/2017/04/25/book-review-the-hungry-brain/

    But there’s a third model, not mentioned by Ludwig or Taubes, which is the one that predominates in my field. It acknowledges the fact that body weight is regulated, but the regulation happens in the brain, in response to signals from the body that indicate its energy status. Chief among these signals is the hormone leptin, but many others play a role (insulin, ghrelin, glucagon, CCK, GLP-1, glucose, amino acids, etc.)

35. I could have a battery of trainers and chefs and I can can still eat macaroni or doughnuts or whatever when they are placed in front of me when I go out to eat with friends or family or have a client meeting where they’re eating pastries, or when I’m traveling and these trainers/chefs aren’t anywhere near me, etc, etc. That’s the problem (and I completely understand many men can’t relate to having that problem).

    That seems to be a lack of discipline and will-power issue. I am surprised you have that, considering your business success and strong frame with women – both of which require discipline and willpower. Maybe a couple of therapy sessions can help?

    Good luck with your weight-loss! Probably one of the most difficult thing to do.

36. I have massive willpower and self-control when it comes to my business life / financial life.

    I have massive willpower and self-control when it comes to my woman life / sex life.

    I have massive willpower and self-control when it comes to my day-to-day time management, pretty much every day, seven days a week.

    I have massive willpower and self-control when it comes to physical exercise.

    But I have some kind of huge willpower/self-control deficiency when it comes to eating food? And nothing else?

    Does that make sense to you? If I had shitty willpower all over the place, that would explain it. But why would I have fantastic willpower in every area in my life except for one? No, the willpower argument does not make any sense to me. I’m not saying it can’t be true; I’m just saying it makes no sense to me whatsoever.

    My guess, and it’s only a guess, is that there is something deeper going on, that perhaps there is something going on internal to my brain or physiology, or perhaps I suffer from some kind of food addiction, as I theorized here.  I really don’t know and I could be wrong, but that’s the only thing that makes sense.

    (And to be clear, I’m not making excuses. My weight is 100% my fault.)

37. But I have some kind of huge willpower/self-control deficiency when it comes to eating food? And nothing else?

    Having tons of willpower in every place but one seems improbable.

    Nutrient deficiency is the most logical explanation. It explains everything.

38. This post makes you seem much more human, and in turn makes the goal of conquering your woman life seem much more achievable.  Thanks.

    As for your food self-control issue…  Why do you never partake in alcohol?  Is it in any way because it’s bad for you?  Because your health will suffer if you drink?

    Perhaps the whole thing just needs a new spin.  Maybe food just needs to be re-framed and redefined in the mind.

    I LOVE food as well, I always have.  When I was chubby (6′, 230 pounds), I decided I hated how I looked and felt, and lost a ton of weight as you described earlier.  I went all the way down to 160lbs, which was unhealthy looking back, but I was skinny (I’m a healthy 180 now).

    From then on, I re-framed my perception of snack foods and food in general.  When I sit at a meeting and there are 3 boxes of beautiful doughnuts on the table I immediately want to reach for my favorite and enjoy all the flavors and memories that eating it would bring me.  But instead of grabbing that doughy treat, I ask myself, “What good will come of this?”  What will I get out of eating the doughnut?  I’d get about 2 minutes of temporary pleasure, and that’s it.  So, what bad will come of it then?  Is it really so bad to eat the doughnut?

    Then I think about all the physiological events that will happen in my body when I eat it.  I think about the doughnut entering my stomach and being broken down, going into my intestines and every bit of sugar (and all other components) being immediately absorbed into my bloodstream, then almost all of that sugar being turned into fat and stored in my body in all the places I don’t want it to be stored.  Just remembering the fact that your body absorbs just about everything you eat and stores it as fat is enough to get me to not eat something (usually).

    I know that sounds stupid and overly simple, but maybe it will help.

39. willpower is overrated in regards to do with maintaining a healthy weight.  I compare an issue with food to smoking or drug addiction.  A lot of things have to be in order before you can successfully lose weight and keep it off (only part that matters).  Most importantly you have to have a reason.  One that motivates you.  If the reason isn’t enough to motivate you than you’ll fail.  End of story.  You can be motivated in every other area in your life and it won’t matter.  You can have the willpower to move mountains.  Won’t matter.  With food you are constantly bombarded minute by minute, to make the wrong choice, and if you cant counter that voice that says eat that cheesecake with a strong response ( I want to lose weight because I can’t walk and dr said I will need new hips and heart if I don’t) willpower will be pointless.  Even if you do have a good motive the bodies response to calorie reduction is so powerful you better have put into place a rehab like environment or forget it.  You really think that willpower is going to save you if you’re in love with cheesecake and you have one sitting in your fridge?  Good luck.   All the diets, internet diet experts, and trainers in the world won’t save you.  Like the addict who keeps heroin in the nightstand to prove how much willpower they have.

    Problem you have is that you don’t have a good enough reason yet to stop doing something (eating tasty food which causes you to not have a 6-pack) you really love and enjoy.  You get laid so there’s no gain in that area.  It hasn’t really hit your pocket book enough so real serious gain there.   Most of the diet and fitness gurus have a huge huge reason to stay in great shape.  It’s their livelihood.  You don’t

40. I would never understand when it comes to this topic, how you do the same thing you preach against (even that part of your book was the weakest by the way, fitness, that is, you still with the mentality that does not work long term “eat this, eat that, avoid this, that shit don’t work) Blackragon excuses, backward rationalization and kj (btw saying all this with love so you stop with this shit):

    1.- Is my UNIQUE METABOLISM.-   Millions of dudes with your metabolism and your body type have achieved success…(and you objection of “i lost 40 pounds, does not matter is not losing weight is reshaping and looking good, you know this)

    2.- I tried everything here is the proof.- You try all the WRONG things to you, as i told you before it should be filling, enjoyable and unrestricted…. With the 2018 youtube, technology (my fitness pal), and every restaurant including macdonalds showing the calories, is the easiest time to get in shape.

    3.- I travel.- many men with your metabolism, in your exact same professions and in your exact shape have done it….(Julien Rsd for example)

    Blackdragon the best advice was given by the poster above (btw you do not need a chef) do what most football players do they hire a local company that does delivery and they figure out the macros for you and deliver in bulk (you have the money for this)…. Stop with the restriction you can eat whatever you want if you do intermittent fasting (i already told you this)…

    https://stayfit305.com/5-healthy-meal-delivery-services-in-miami/

    For the life of me i would never understand how you read multiple books, but you never hire coaching i would hire either Mario Tomic, or Kinobody or whoever….

41. The Johns are in agreement.

42. yea some times I wonder about having it all, or about having to take a sacrifice somewhere. Like have to sacrifice body for money, or money for women, or women for art/health

    Respect for fighting the tough fight when it’s embedded in your lifestyle and possibly your mind like that.

    For what it’s worth it’s motivating in a way if there’s a shorter chubby guy out there who’s enjoying the abundance I want.

43. BD,

    I have no advice. I have no theories.

    My “woman life” is my big problem.

    I just hope we are able to push through it, see you on the other side.

44. Caleb, if your problem is mental, then why don’t you talk with a psychologist? Just tell him “I love eating, but I want to lose more weight… and I have a willpower problem in THIS area”

    I saw your list, you didn’t try this.

     

45. The key to any diet is discipline. An ability to tolerate discomfort (and being hungry is WORSE than being horny) is helpful.  Not bullshitting yourself is also helpful.  Having someone call you on your bullshit is also helpful.

    Today is my day to be helpful.

    My shitty metabolism 

    Buffer.

    plus my heavily endomorphic body type

    Genetics cant be faded.  It can, however, be maximized.  Hold that thought.

    plus my extreme love of food (which I’ve noticed a lot of fit / skinny guys don’t have) 

    Honesty!

    plus my abundance mentality regarding life plus my love of freedom (“I’m a free man and Alpha 2.0! I should be able to eat whatever the fuck I want!”) 

    Honesty!

     

    plus my higher income plus my frequent travel lifestyle plus the fact I keep getting laid with super attractive women regardless of how chubby I seem to be… 

    Buffer.  You are using the wrong metrics to measure your waste line.

    I can can still eat macaroni or doughnuts or whatever when they are placed in front of me when I go out to eat with friends or family or have a client meeting where they’re eating pastries, or when I’m traveling

    This is the problem.  Discipline.  Except.

     

    But I have some kind of huge willpower/self-control deficiency when it comes to eating food? And nothing else?

    Let me flip this a little, and see if I can give you a little perspective:

     

    But I have some kind of huge willpower/self-control deficiency when it comes to sex ? And nothing else?

    Consider for a moment that your big appetite isn’t any different from your high sex drive…so if you assume for a moment that your sex drive and your appetite are needs and healthy, consider this perspective.

    Im all about metrics.  Your siblings are the baseline.  They have the same genetics as you and roughly the same options given we live in the west.

    Are you in better shape than your siblings?  You are beating this, and maximizing your outcome.

    I’m 10 years older and 4″ taller than my youngest brother.  He’s easily 100 pounds heavier than me.  His twin is in worse shape.  And the sandwich brother is skinny but debilitatingly unfit.

    I’m too fat (my fault) but my resting heart rate is in the 40s because I train hard (I’ve rode a bicycle 200 miles in a day a couple of times recently) and eat kinda right.  But I’m nowhere near optimized.  But compared to my genetic stock, aren’t I winning this?

    I pose this question:  is it worth the life of scarcity you are gonna need to have 15% body fat?  Are you maximizing your genetics?

    Because it sounds like you are.  Call it a win and go work on your strengths.  Because that’s what you’d tell me.

     

46. Caleb, if you’re living in Portland, Oregon, I’d suggest finding a gym workout partner. Surely out of all the fucking guys reading this, there’s at least 3 or 4 who also live in Portland.

47. This is clearly a head case issue.

    BD needs a therapist, not a new diet and exercise program.

    He has some of the identity invested in his body being what it is.

    Just see how he says “I am endomorph” here and there. This is an indentification in its pure form.

    Identification stops movement and freezes and process in place.

    That is why Korzybski invented E-Prime.

48. Caleb, if your problem is mental, then why don’t you talk with a psychologist?

    Yes, I have considered this, either speaking to a psychologist or even hypnotherapist. If this next round of Carb Nite doesn’t work, I will probably pursue one or the other (or both).

    Consider for a moment that your big appetite isn’t any different from your high sex drive

    I have considered this and actually think this is likely. Not sure how it’s helpful though.

    is it worth the life of scarcity you are gonna need to have 15% body fat?

    No, but 15% body fat is not my goal. 17% is. I don’t think 17% body fat for a man represents a “life of scarcity.” I’m quite sure I can maintain 17% body fat for the rest of my life while having nice, fun cheat days every once in a while.

    Call it a win and go work on your strengths.

    No, I’m at massive risk for diabetes (very common with overweight people in my family) if I remain at my current weight into my 50s, and perhaps even now. That is most certainly not a win no matter how you define the word.

    Because that’s what you’d tell me.

    Utterly incorrect. That is most absolutely not what I would tell you if you were clearly overweight at age 46 and had diabetes running rampant in your family. I might say that if you were of average weight though.

    I’d suggest finding a gym workout partner.

    My problem isn’t exercise. I love exercising and always have. My problem is food consumption.

    He has some of the identity invested in his body being what it is.

    Yes, that is entirely possible. Likely, even.

49. Since diet that I have great success with at the moment (without any exercise) is not in your “tried it” list, I will suggest:

    Carnivore Diet

     

    It is similar to Carb Nite as it’s almost no carbs, instead of 30 grams if you also omit dairy and eggs like I do.

    It is very good if you have insulin resistance/levels and diabetes problems.

    It is good fighting food cravings.

    I’s simple. It is kind of extreme version of your Carb Nite or Keto diet, which you could return to after you have reached your weight goals.

     

    Downside is it gets boring if you have serious love for food, like me. I guess you could still do carb nites on it.

    I do sometimes but on average once in 2 weeks.

     

    While traveling it is rather easy to order steak or some meat and just not eat the sides, or ask to serve only meat.

     

    Google for details.

     

    Henry

     

50. I do not second the keto recommendations.
    Quasi-keto, ie a diet with lots of healthy fats and protein plus a small amount of good carbs (50-150 grams of carbs, eg veggies and some ounces of oat/ quinoa/ Ezekiel bread etc) can be very good. Same with the “Green Face Diet”.
    But hardcore keto is very hit-and-miss and remains scientifically controversial AFAIK.

    Heck, even human groups that live in polar climates never truly adopted a full-on keto diet, most of them eat and store some berries in the summer when they can – and it’s not like they’re the healthiest people on earth, though it’s indeed a good idea to implement organ meats, marrow, etc into one’s diet.

    Anyway, good luck to you Caleb, and keep these articles coming.

51. Hey Caleb, thanks for this post. It helps put things on perspective, as sometimes you seem to be superhuman and I get a bit frustrated while comparing myself with your achievements.

    For me, physical health has been surprisingly easy to nail down. I was obese (not overweight, truly obese) as a kid and as a teenager, but when I was on my early twenties I decided to get fit once and for all, and in less than a year I was running a Spartan Race and had achieve all my goals in this regard. I never went back to being overweight, never felt hunger or big cravings, and now enjoy food such as broccoli more than pizza or other stuff like that.

    However, my women life is another issue completely. For me, getting laid with attractive women and keeping them is by far the hardest thing I’ve done in my life. I have been in and out the PUA world for 8 years now, have gone on a massive amount of dates, have tried nightgame, daygame and online game… and nothing seems to work well. With online, for example, my response rates are usually below 5%, even though I’ve had professional pictures taken and don’t consider myself ugly. I have followed all the advice you give in this area, and I think it just doesn’t work for me. I decided recently to try daygame again (more seriously this time), as I think it can help me get more dates and recover control over this part of my life.

    I’ve been thinking lately that probably there’s something wrong with my beliefs in this area. Maybe your issue with food is related with that somehow? I guess you know his work already, but Tony Robbins’ books “Unlimited Power” and “Awaken the Giant Within” really helped me change the way I related to food and diet. Hope they work for you as well.

52. Getting physically into shape is one of the easiest parts in “SLA” list atleast for me. That’s because there really isn’t so many variables. It’s simple as: “When you do this, you get this”. It’s all about discipline, no “irrational selfconfidence” required.

    This isn’t the case with women, social and financial stuff. There is way more variables which are not in your control and you will fail sometimes even though you do everything right. That’s one of the most annoying thing especially with women.

    I find it paradoxal that you, as a successful and disciplined man, fail at the area which only requires discipline (because all the excuses you gave, can be overcome with discipline).

    But thanks for the article, I’d say that this kind of content makes you more relatable and reminds that you can succeed with women even tho your looks aren’t on point.

53. I believe you haven’t tried extended fasting either (3+ days). Proven life extension benefits and a lot of real science behind it from people like Dr. Rhonda Patrick.

54. The life extension benefits of severe caloric restriction are low to negligible on humans. They’re small to medium on shorter-lived mammals and significant on critters like worms etc, but for humans you might be gaining 1-4 years all else being equal, a bad bargain in my book considering how much I’d be giving up on. On this I side with Aubrey de Grey, though I don’t believe all he says.
    I’d rather be a robust 180-190lbs for as long as possible, even 200+ is acceptable if at a low body fat %.

55. You can find recent studies on the beneficial effects of long-lasting waterless fasting (interspersed with water days) for metabolism.

     

    Example of a cycle:

    48 hours of fasting without water

    Then 24h of fasting with water

    And you repeat the cycle as much as you can

     

    I did not do it myself but in your case it could be useful.

56. When the stock market took a little tumble at the beginning of the year, I discovered a technique used for smoothing out the ups and downs of the stock market and seeing the overall trend of the market, called the “moving average.”  There are all kinds of indicators like when the 50 day crosses over the 200 day and so on that indicate bad things to come.  While reading up on these I realized that this can perfectly be applied to managing weight.

    I’ve always had a considerable difficulty determining the exact effects of foods on my body because of glycogen levels, sodium retention, clothing weight, how much food is in stomach, etc.  When I started tracking my weight with a moving average, everything became crystal clear what effect what food was having on me.

    I downloaded the Happy Scales app for my phone, and every morning first thing when I wake up, I weight myself and enter the weight into the app down to the fraction.  It plots a chart of the moving average.  If I go out and eat at a Chinese buffet the scale might jump up 8 lbs, but it doesn’t make me panic as long as the general trend is going down.

    Now I’ve made a promise to myself that if my moving average weight goes up by 1 lb, I revert back to “diet mode.”  Keep in mind, with a weighted average it can take a good month of abusive eating to reach that point.  And I stay on in “diet mode” until the moving average drops below my goal weight.

    I have found consistency also helps tremendously.  I don’t have the energy or will to measure everything I eat, so I go shopping once a week and buy the exact same groceries every single week.  I can eat the food in any particular order I want, but that’s all I eat and nothing else.  I judge the results of the week through the trend of the moving average and how much it costs me in terms of hunger, feelings of deprivation, and willpower, and make slight adjustments to try to arrive at an optimum menu of reaching my weight goals balanced with satisfaction and enjoyment.

    (I’ve lost 60 lbs doing this. Disclaimer, I am at 190 lbs so I still have a small ways to go to get where I want to be)

57. Same here. what sort of works for me.
    I don’t eliminate food, replace it with something else. Even water as mentioned. Apples work well and I like them.
    I cut back when I eat alone never when I go out, parties etc.
    If I eat 3 or 4 boiled eggs for lunch or dinner, for some reason my hunger disappears.
    Obviously cant do this every meal.
    Avoid bread , rice and any flour based products.
    I still eat plenty of deserts though.

    Good luck with it

58. I think we are pretty similar as far as age and body type, I’ve just not gotten as far out of my upper limit as it sounds like you have but if I slip up for a while it’s a problem also!  Your willpower answer resonates with me.  I view willpower as a bucket, it isn’t infinite.  Mine is mostly used up with social and financial stuff so I struggle with fitness/diet and have to automate as much as possible!

    Here’s what’s working for me (it’s a combination of a few things you’ve tried)

    I) I joined a group class gym that’s instructor led.  Takes it off of me to plan my workouts.  I just have to show up, do as I’m told and I can burn 500-1000 calories an hour.  It’s competitive with a score board so that keeps me motivated!  If I do 3 classes a week that’s basically an entire days calories every week!

    II) Calorie tracking.  I’m not crazy about it but at least get the major macros (calories, sugar, protein, fiber, carbs).  I’ve found if I have to input doughnut or candy bar I’m way less likely to eat it because I’m embarrassed I failed.  Oddly, once I cut way back on snacks on days I workout I’ve actually found I’m calorie deficient which leads to cravings and eating junk.  I usually realize I need MORE food by the end of the day not less.  This also helps with business lunches/dinners, I eat as best I can then make up for the calories later.  I feel like a chick focusing on calories BUT I’ve had to do that as I got older

    III) Fasting and Intermittent fasting.  When I plateau or when I’ve “fallen off the wagon” and need to get started fasting 24 hours seems to reset my cravings for garbage food.  Intermittent mostly just limits the amount of food I can eat without gorging myself.  I’m struggling with this one as I’ve increased my workouts I need more food in the same amount of time.

    IV) Find specific items that you can’t eat.  I’ve learned I am ridiculously sensitive to artificial sweeteners.  This leads to inflammation and joint pain, slows down my working out which then leads to crashing the diet.  I think alot of the gluten free people are experiencing something similar with inflammation.

    Unfortunately I can’t just skip a meal and cut back on drinking like I could in my 20’s and 30’s, it takes a few things all together now.

    Good Luck!

59. My view on the carnivore diet (the latest internet-fad diet everyone is getting excited about) is the exact same as the vegan diet. In that, it probably works well as a cleanse. It would probably be a helpful and healthy thing to do for a few weeks while you flush out all the toxins and other bullshit from the typical American diet, but only eating meat (just like only eating vegan) over the long-term will probably deprive you of critical vitamins, minerals, and nutrients, thus making it a bad idea over the long-term in my view, unless you go crazy with vitamins and suppliments. (But hey, what do I know?)

    I’ve been thinking lately that probably there’s something wrong with my beliefs in this area. Maybe your issue with food is related with that somehow?

    Probably, yes.

    I find it paradoxal that you, as a successful and disciplined man, fail at the area which only requires discipline (because all the excuses you gave, can be overcome with discipline).

    Because it’s likely not a discipline problem at all. Read my comment above where I discuss willpower.

    I’d say that this kind of content makes you more relatable and reminds that you can succeed with women even tho your looks aren’t on point.

    Thanks man.

    I believe you haven’t tried extended fasting either (3+ days).

    I have. 5 days.

    the Happy Scales app

    Your point about the moving average is very interesting. I tried to download that app but it’s not available for Android. I’ll have to find an Android app that calculates moving averages. (Lose It doesn’t do that.)

    Fasting and Intermittent fasting

    Done it and doing it again now. Carb Nite + Intermittent fasting with an 8 hour eating window.

    If that all fails after a few months, I will seek psychological counseling / hypnosis.

60. By what you say, your problem is indeed more mental than physical, seems kinda of clear now.

    Just some quick questions:

    – How many days/hours per week do you plan to exercise? Not right now, but for the rest of your life, travel and lifestyle included

    – How many meals are you planning to have each week day? And on weekends?

    – What’s your 3 favorite foods? Why are they your favorite? (I ask this because food works hand in hand with repressed emotions)

    My guess is that you keep self-sabotaging your diet in some clever sneaky ways without even realizing it.

     

61. If I eat 3 or 4 boiled eggs for lunch or dinner, for some reason my hunger disappears.

    Because eggs are loaded with fat and fat is satisfying.

62. No, but 15% body fat is not my goal. 17% is. I don’t think 17% body fat for a man represents a “life of scarcity.” I’m quite sure I can maintain 17% body fat for the rest of my life while having nice, fun cheat days every once in a while.

    That is crazy ripped. Look what is 17% bodyfat :

    https://youtu.be/DdG3QfmjpvU

    A fitness guru like John Venus has blessed genetics and dedicates his life to strict eating and workouts.

    This goal is way too hard to attain, it’s like perfection. Why the hell would you need to attain such type of lean physique with great abs and definition. Also how are you going to measure this body fat? I remember you blew me off saying a DEXE scan is wasted money for a “overweight guy like you”. How fat are you really anyways if you never measured your bodyfat accurately? For all we know maybe your body fat levels are perfectly fine, just weird repartition.

63. As you explain yourself with goal setting. You are setting yourself up for failure with such an unrealistic goal of 17% bodyfat.

    I am not saying it’s totally unattainable by you to reach 17%. I am just saying, you can set a more realistic goal. An healthy goal (no need to be as low as 17% bodyfat to be healthy), much easier to attain therefore setting you up for success. It’s an important part since your problem is related to your psyche, including you systematically not sticking to healthy eating patterns in the long run, which you said actually worked on you as long as you sticked with it. And if you do eventually go beyond the realistic goal that.

    Did you notice how you phrase it by the way: “it doesn’t stick”. No: it’s you who do not stick to the healthy eating patterns.

    I wish you the success you deserve in your health life area BD. And it’s a honest, brave, humanly article but don’t beat yourself up too much either. I am sure you don’t 😉

64. I appreciate you sharing this since I’ve always had this in the back of my mind whenever you emphasize the importance of accepting responsibility for everything. Your issues with weight loss always struck me as the one contradiction/counterpoint to your philosophy… you’re a super-disciplined person overall but this is a big exception. I’m curious how your issues with weight loss affect your belief with everything in life being your fault. On paper, obviously the reason you’re overweight is because you eat more than you should… but why? It doesn’t make sense rationally to know that you’re only damaging yourself in the long run when you indulge in the short-term gratification of eating more than you should.

    So when you indulge, do you view it as something beyond your control because it’s so difficult compared to your other goals? Or do you still blame yourself? I think when it comes to addiction, the “everything is your fault” mentality can start to blur and become grey. Because, by definition, addiction essentially means the emotional side of your brain is in control and the rational side of your brain isn’t… and it almost can feel impossible to reverse things such that you behave rationally with regards to your addiction.

    I guess what I’m asking is: if we both agree that it’s your fault you’re chubby, and you rationally know that eating too much is going to keep you chubby, then why are you still chubby? Why the irrationality? Why isn’t this something within your control?

    Let me know what your thoughts are!

65. How many days/hours per week do you plan to exercise? Not right now, but for the rest of your life, travel and lifestyle included

    5 days per week, perhaps 30-40 minutes per day.

    How many meals are you planning to have each week day?

    Two meals plus a snack.

    And on weekends?

    I do not differentiate weekends from weekdays in any way. I’m Alpha 2.0 so all seven days of the week are the same to me.

    What’s your 3 favorite foods?

    Hmmm. Probably dim sum, mac and cheese, burritos, and guacamole and bacon burgers (in a lettuce wrap, no bun).

    Why are they your favorite?

    Cuz they’re yummy.

    That is crazy ripped. Look what is 17% bodyfat

    Either that video is complete bullshit or that man’s body is extremely different than the human norm. Look at this site here for what I have in mind when I say “17%”:

    https://ketogains.com/2015/09/how-to-estimate-your-body-fat-percentage-bf/

    Also how are you going to measure this body fat? I remember you blew me off saying a DEXE scan is wasted money for a “overweight guy like you”.

    Correct, and I stand by that. When my body looks much more like the guy in 15% to 19% photo I linked to above, then I will get a DEXA scan, because then it will be a valid use of my time and money. But not now; I clearly know I have too much body fat. I don’t need a scan to tell me what is blatantly obvious in the mirror.

66. BD,

    You are saying that you are blunt, brash and arrogant. That sounds like Alpha 1.0 qualitites.

    Do you think you could be equally successful with women or in business if you were as confident and outcome independent as you are now, but less blunt and brash?

    Can a very confident, easy going and positive guy who is strong in his purpose be perceived as an Alpha 2.0 if he is not blunt and brash? Or will people misidentify him as a beta?

67. I appreciate you sharing this since I’ve always had this in the back of my mind whenever you emphasize the importance of accepting responsibility for everything. Your issues with weight loss always struck me as the one contradiction/counterpoint to your philosophy

    To repeat what I said above, I’m not making excuses. My weight is 100% my fault and 100% a result of my own actions, period, end of story. There is no contradiction.

    On paper, obviously the reason you’re overweight is because you eat more than you should… but why?

    Ready my comment above where I talk about willpower.

    (This is the fun part of the thread where were we start getting a bunch of comments I’ve already addressed further up the thread that people don’t read.)

    So when you indulge, do you view it as something beyond your control because it’s so difficult compared to your other goals? Or do you still blame yourself?

    I completely and totally blame myself.

    I think when it comes to addiction, the “everything is your fault” mentality can start to blur and become grey. Because, by definition, addiction essentially means the emotional side of your brain is in control and the rational side of your brain isn’t… and it almost can feel impossible to reverse things such that you behave rationally with regards to your addiction.

    Well, having an addiction is only a guess on my part. It’s the only thing that makes sense to me, but I could still be wrong.

    One of the problems with this weight thing is that, unlike with money and women, I don’t have all the clear, complete, and 100% accurate data that tells me precisely what is wrong. And no one else does. (Some fitness nerds think they do, but they’re guessing the same as I am, since they don’t have my exact body, hormones, psychological profile, or brain chemistry.) Instead, I have to use trial and error based on wild guesses, over and over again.

    Is someone “not responsible” for their actions because they have an addiction?  I think they are. I’ve messed around with a few FBs in my day who were addicted to serious drugs or who were alcoholics. That’s their fucking fault, including their actions while drunk or high. No excuses.

    So if I hold them accountable, I must hold myself accountable, if indeed I have some kind of addiction (and maybe I do, maybe I don’t; I don’t know for sure).

    You are saying that you are blunt, brash and arrogant. That sounds like Alpha 1.0 qualitites.

    Incorrect. Those qualities are (often) Alpha in general, not specific to Alpha 1.0 or 2.0. The 1.0 seeks to control. The 2.0 seeks happiness. The personality traits you reference have very little to do with it.

    Do you think you could be equally successful with women or in business if you were as confident and outcome independent as you are now, but less blunt and brash?

    Interesting question, and hard to answer (“If you weren’t you, would have have…?”). My guess is no. Or yes, but I may have had to work harder(?). But that’s only a wild guess.

    Can a very confident, easy going and positive guy who is strong in his purpose be perceived as an Alpha 2.0 if he is not blunt and brash?

    Of course! I have known and worked with many chill Alphas. Blunt and brash is not a requirement for Alpha 1.0 or 2.0.

68. Didn’t read your previous posts sorry– didn’t want to read/scroll through 60 comments.

    Let me put it another way– can we agree on the following facts:

    1. You’re overweight because your average daily caloric intake is too high

    2. Your average daily caloric intake is too high because you’d rather indulge in the short-term gratification of eating delicious foods, rather than suffering from the pain of discipline/willpower required to eat in moderation

    3. Everything in your life is your fault; you (irrationally) choose to eat when you know you shouldn’t, causing you to become overweight.

    If we agree on those three points: then what’s going through your mind when you’re eating more than you know you should? Do you feel like you’re in control of your behavior?

    If you don’t feel like you’re in control, then how can you argue that you’re *choosing* to remain fat when your emotions are essentially making your decisions for you irrationally? Are you not being coerced by your emotions into doing something you know you shouldn’t be doing?

    It seems like your emotions are essentially holding a gun to your rationality, forcing you to make stupid decisions with regards to your dieting… which IMO makes the “everything is your fault” philosophy slightly less black-and-white.

69. BD, so why haven’t you developed a system to help you fight through the ambiguity? You did this for dating when the information was poor quality so we know you already can do that.

    From the outside it seems like you’ve tried lots all the one-off solutions but haven’t thought about the problem top down, like how to solve the lacking information problem itself.

70. Incorrect. Those qualities are (often) Alpha in general, not specific to Alpha 1.0 or 2.0. The 1.0 seeks to control. The 2.0 seeks happiness. The personality traits you reference have very little to do with it.

    I think that Betas would hardly show these behaviors. That’s why I was asking. Because the easiest way to convince people you are Alpha is by being blunt, brash and arrogant. Betas are too afraid of confrontation (in general).

     

    Of course! I have known and worked with many chill Alphas. Blunt and brash is not a requirement for Alpha 1.0 or 2.0.

    I’m not blunt and brash. In fact, I’m polite and diplomatical even when disagreeing with people or telling them they are full of shit. Also, I try to be as non-reactive as possible to minor provocations etc. to avoid drama.

    However, a woman I met put me in the beta category because of exactly these traits. In her mind that is beta because it values a good relationship and alpha is just exploding and telling people to fuck off.

    Now, I think I’m more Alpha 2.0 and masculine than at least 90% of guys in my age bracket (although I could be wrong) by being very confident, adventorous and self-sufficient. I’m early thirties but have seen a few places and each year I find there are less things worth making a fuss over.

    So could you be Alpha 2.0 and (some) people could still see you as a pussy (beta)?

     

71. Look at this site here for what I have in mind when I say “17%”:
    https://ketogains.com/2015/09/how-to-estimate-your-body-fat-percentage-bf/

    These are not accurate measurements in any way: pictures, mirror, calippers, electronic scale with impedance and whatnot they give very different results.

    DEXA scan gives you accurate measurements, not only of body fat mass, but also muscle mass and bone mass (you can even have a  detailed bone densitometry done with the same machine while you are at it). It also show you where exactly is located your fat. It not only tells you where you stand precisely for these measurements but also it allows for a more accurate estimation of your basal metabolism in kcal per day. Which then allows you to plan your caloric deficit to a smaller amount in order to very slowly but surely loose fat mass, without starving yourself or setting yourself up for binging relapses.

    I had one done for less than 40USD and the process takes 10 minutes. Even if it was 400USD and took a day it would still be worth it in your situation.

    Here again without proper measurements and numbers you are in the dark and you set yourself up for failure.

    Your psyche is a bit part of the problem as you say: if you measure accurately, you can track accurately what how is your fat mass, muscle mass and bone mass evolving, not just your overall total mass. It can makes a big difference for a speadsheets, INTJ, systematic guy like you.

     MALE BODY FAT PERCENTAGE: 20% – 24%
    This is the most common range for “young adult” men to be in, where the separation between muscles begins to become nonexistent. There are almost no striations or vascularity in any muscle groups. Typically there will be a little bit of fat on the stomach, but it will not be rounded. A male of 5’10” – 5’12” who weighs 180 – 185 lbs will probably be at 20 to 22% BF.

    Also from your article,this range feels to me like a very healthy goal.

    that man’s body is extremely different than the human norm

    For all we know your  body may also be extremely different than the human norm, in the other direction, Perhaps you have a very healthy 23%, with loads of muscles underneath, with big round belly types of abs, and you look like you’re much more fat that you really are.

     

    I notice there is this accurate measurement that you refuse to do, and also you seem to push back the psychological assessment/hypnosis idea even though you think it’s a good idea.

72. Didn’t read your previous posts sorry– didn’t want to read/scroll through 60 comments.

    That’s what everyone says, which is fine with me as long as you understand I’m not going to repeat myself in the same thread.

    1. You’re overweight because your average daily caloric intake is too high

    Correct.

    2. Your average daily caloric intake is too high because you’d rather indulge in the short-term gratification of eating delicious foods, rather than suffering from the pain of discipline/willpower required to eat in moderation

    Correct.

    3. Everything in your life is your fault; you (irrationally) choose to eat when you know you shouldn’t, causing you to become overweight.

    Correct. I just don’t know the core source motivations for this yet.

    If we agree on those three points: then what’s going through your mind when you’re eating more than you know you should?

    Something like, “I really shouldn’t be doing this right now, but god damn this tastes soooo amazing and feels soooo good, and I’m a free man and I should be able to do whatever the fuck I want and live a life of abundance!!!” Pretty irrational, at least for the most part.

    Do you feel like you’re in control of your behavior?

    Yeah, more or less.

    BD, so why haven’t you developed a system to help you fight through the ambiguity?

    I’ve been too busy with my financial life, woman life, Mission, and travel, all of which are very exciting and rewarding for me. I’m a busy guy with a very full life.

    I will have to address this though, you’re correct.

    So could you be Alpha 2.0 and (some) people could still see you as a pussy (beta)?

    Getting too off-topic for this thread.

73. How can you claim that you’re in control of your behavior when, in your own words, you’re succumbing to your emotions and making irrational decisions?

    When it comes to food, your decision-making process is essentially Stimulus -> Response, when it should be Stimulus -> Rationality -> Response

    Your irrationality and lack of willpower with regards to dieting is clearly the reason why you’re overweight. But you didn’t choose to have a food addiction; that’s something beyond your control and it’s not your fault.

    Do you agree with that?

74. I’ve never commented here before, but I just wanted to point out that you might want to try what I did to eat healthier:  use Huel, or Soylent if you can’t tolerate Huel.

    These are two drinks that provide as close to the ideal nutrition as possible.  You take the bottle out of the fridge and drink 400 calories.  If you want to lose weight, drink 4 of them a day, if you want to maintain it, drink 6, or if you’re active like me, drink 8.

    It’s that simple.  It saves hours per day in cooking meals, grocery shopping, and forcing oneself to eat healthy things (s)he doesn’t like.  I was able to maintain my weight and reduce my body fat by 2% in 2 months of eating 75% of my calories from these drinks.  When purchased through purse.io, Soylent costs about $2.31 for an original bottle and Huel costs $2 for 500 calories.  My blood pressure went down 5 points, LDL dropped dramatically, my continual problems on a normal diet with diarrhea went away, and I never fall asleep during the afternoon while at work anymore.

    One person I recommended this to went 100% Soylent and lost 30 pounds and is 1/3 of her way towards her goal.  Anderson Cooper subsists entirely on Soylent, after all.  It’s easy to get exactly the number of calories in that one needs.

75. That is crazy ripped. Look what is 17% bodyfat :
    https://youtu.be/DdG3QfmjpvU
    A fitness guru like John Venus has blessed genetics and dedicates his life to strict eating and workouts.
    This goal is way too hard to attain, it’s like perfection. Why the hell would you need to attain such type of lean physique with great abs and definition. Also how are you going to measure this body fat?

    If anything the video shows that Dexa scans are less helpful than the mirror, lol, since in terms of looks they give contradictory results for different people (even if they’re accurate in actual percentage). Unless you’re over 20% fat it’s looks that matter, so the chart is more useful than that video. I’m walking around with my abs showing (or not showing), not with my bf% whether it’s 10% or 15%, so if I have abs and zero love handles etc I don’t give a shit.
    A better gauge is the 15% guy at 4:40, who is closer to the popular perception of what 15% looks like: barely visible abs, some tone. 17% as BD means it will be a little fatter than that guy.
    It’s telling that John Venus at “17%” looks a lot like the guy who’s at 10.8%. As I said, pretty useless. Stick to the chart.

76. 1. Best wishes BD!

    2. Just like in many parts of life, finding good coaches/experts/mentors probably would help many people. But I definitely understand wanting to figure out things on ones own, too.

    3. There’s usually a difference between healthy weight and looks-good-with-shirt-off weight, so I think it’s important to distinguish between the two.  As long as someone is healthy, that’s what’s important! 

    “Looking good” is great, but if you are already doing well with women and happy overall, then it maybe isn’t really a big priority, as long as one is generally healthy.  But if it’s a potential health issue, then yes, that’s important (and should be addressed)!

77. Stick to the chart.

    The chart is pretty useless technically since it gives no idea what your basal metabolism is nor what mass of fat exactly you need to loose to be healthy. Fat contains 9kcal of energy per gram, with accurate measurement done it is very straightforward to compute a very good approximation of how much mass of fat you need to loose. Therefore how much kcal deficit you need to make in total. Then spread it across time.

    Example A: you look yourself in the mirror, you don’t like what you see, you suddenly resume a strict one size fits all quick fix type of more or less weird restrictive diet, reducing your kcal intake by an unknown amount probably too much deficit that causes your body to go in famine mode and hold on more to its fat, without even knowing if it provides enough of all micronutrients because you don’t track them or use only fitness pal which tracks mostly macros but very few micronutrients. As a result you are also deficient in several micronutrient which multiplies the cravings and the risk to fall back to unhealthy pattern of eating… Oh but wait! Actually even when you’re dieting it’s unhealthy actually since you are deficient. So actually it all is unhealthy eating pattern when you loose and when you gain weight.

     

    Example B: you take a DEXA scan. You know exactly what is your fat mass and where it is located. You set a realistic attainable goal with several intermediate milestones. Let’s say for instance that you realistically set to loose 10kg of fat to attain a normal Fat Mass Index. That means you need to loose 90000kcal. So if you maintain a very small calorie deficit of 100kcal per day you know you will reach this goal in 900 days. Which is 2.5years roughly. Accounting for errors you choose to spread it over 3years in total. You can therefore compute several milestones. Let’s say you go overboard with one milestone every 3 months.

    Meanwhile you track all the micronutrients using cronometer.com which allows you to learn what food nourish your body fully, which divides the cravings and the risk of relapses to an unhealthy eating pattern.

    You hit the gym hard. You see you weight changing. Sometimes maybe you even gain weight. But no longer than 3 months later you measure your evolution with a new DEXA scan which reveals that while your total mass didn’t drop as much as you wanted, you gained more muscle than expected because you’re ectomorph lucky bastard who on top of it is also on HRT. And your fat loss is actually on track. Or maybe your fat loss is more than expected. Wooaaa, you don’t want to loose too much fat too quickly so you go back to your spreasheets and compute that you can actually add 20kcal per day in your current diet if you continue with the same activity on average.

     

    See the difference between on one hand the all emotional dumb mirror approach,which works great for some people, but apparently not so great for our host BD so far. And on the other hand the scientific, measurement based, rational approach, learning nutrient rich foods down to the micronutrient. With measurable milestones to keep motivation up and going.

78. My problem isn’t exercise. I love exercising and always have. My problem is food consumption.

     

    I’ve been too busy with my financial life, woman life, Mission, and travel, all of which are very exciting and rewarding for me. I’m a busy guy with a very full life.

    This and This.

    I’m in the Same boat: Endomorph(6′ 3″, 300-310 lbs) and INTJ.

    Lets take a look at it from these two angles.

    1. Endomorph

    The carb nite diet should work since carbs(flour and sugar) is our kryptonite. Consistent adherence should blunt your sugar cravings.

    You’ve got the exercise part down pat. As we say in SL you gotta “Tie your heart” food wise.

    Addition by subtraction.

    2. INTJ

    Consistency = Systems = INTJ crack cocaine

    Find a way to apply this to your eating. Check system would be great for this.

    Also, are you stressed about anything. Our inferior is Se/Sensation – we turn to highly immersive sensory activities in time of stress and have no control over this.

    A psycologist will help you deal with your cravings I feel.

    Hope this helps!

    PS: did some research yesterday and found out a reasonable shot for us endomorphs is to look like Russel Crowe in Gladiator.

79. Hi, I enjoy your blog and would like to offer you some helpful tips on how to drop pounds while still enjoying your life.

    1) Drink 3 liters of water every day. This severely cuts into appetite and for me eliminated entirely the urge to snack. If it isn’t doable, just drink as much water as you can. Your caloric intake will drop.

    2) Don’t eat after 6 pm, or try to create a 12 hour period during which you do not eat.

    3) Eggs. Hard boiled, fried, or scrambled will give you the fuel you need and keep you full. Use them as a meal replacement.

    4) If you have a craving, indulge but not to excess. This will keep you going. It helps to have one thing every day that is truly delicious. For me it is a Chai Latte from my Keurig that is only 60 calories.

    5) If you completely blow it one day, simply get right back on track the next. It is ok to have these days as long as you don’t lose sight of your goal.

    Hope this helps.

80. Lots of cool ideas about nutrition in general.  I plan to check out The Hungry Brain.

    A couple more thoughts for people in general about nutrition that folks may not have mentioned but are interesting ideas to consider:

    Personalized Nutrition

    &

    – Definitely check these out.

    https://www.healthline.com/health-news/can-dna-determine-the-diet-for-you

    Metsovas says a microbiome analysis is the way to go before you pick up a DNA kit

    Nutrigenomics/Epigenetics/Exosomes

    https://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/epigenetics/nutrition/

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3984860/

    https://www.bigbluewaves.net/exosomes/

    Thanks and best wishes

     

     

81. FMI: Fat Mass Index

    FMI CLASS
    MALE
    FEMALE

    Severe Fat Deficit
    < 2.0
    < 3.5

    Moderate Fat Deficit
    2.0 – < 3.0
    3.5 – < 4.0

    Mild Fat Deficit
    2.3 – < 3.0
    4.0 – < 5.0

    Normal
    3.0 – < 6.0
    5.0 – < 9.0

    Excess Fat
    6.0 – < 9.0
    9.0 – < 13.0

    Obese Class I
    9.0 – < 12.0
    13.0 – < 17.0

    Obese Class II
    12.0 – < 15.0
    17.0 – < 21.0

    Obese Class III
    > 15.0
    > 21.0

    Source:

    https://rbscan.com.au/body-mass-index-is-out-of-date/

     

    Also, 10% most muscular men aged 35 to 55 have a Fat Free Mass Index (FFMI) above 21.1
    Source:
    https://naturalchoiceswellness.com/index.php/2016/05/17/fat-free-mass-index-vs-body-mass-index/ffmi-averages-table-2-2002-study/

    Now let’s imagine some guy has FFMI above 21.1, and his FMI is normal borderline excess fat, but still healthy actually at 6.

    So his BMI=FFMI+FMI is above 26.1 which is considered overweight.

    But actually, he is not in excess fat!

    Let’s say this guy is 180cm/5’10” this means he weights over 88kg/194lbs!

    Or 191cm/6’3″ over 99kg/218lbs.

    @BD we really don’t know how much fat you need to loose or if you are actually in excess of fat since you never made any accurate measurement (hydrostatic or DEXA, but DEXA gives more information and more repeatable results also much easier to perform no need to go in water and exhale all the air in your lungs).

82. And by the way FMI of 6 for a BMI of 27.1 that’s 23% body fat. Could be even more with same FMI but lower FFMI. Really, no need in term of health to go down to 17% unless you really want to have very defined abs.

83. I definetly am believing in genetic differences. George st. pierres trainer on a podcast was saying a lot of people would get fat hanging out with george because he’s a bit genetically blessed in the food department and on the ectomorph side of physiology.

     

    Idk about most people but according to my new watch I’m burning about 2000 kcalories at work a day just standing for 6 hours. I can eat 2 egg white grills(chikfila), 2 egg and cheese muffins(DD), a double chicken burrito bowl with guac from chipotle, and a turkey sandwhich. I’d say maybe the food isn’t as nutritionally satisfying and thats why I can eat more as compared to when I bring my own lunch, but also I don’t seem to sway from 170lbs either way.

    that might change when I’m older, and fast food gets expensive so I want to be more disciplined as well.

84. I can eat 2 egg white grills(chikfila), 2 egg and cheese muffins(DD), a double chicken burrito bowl with guac from chipotle, and a turkey sandwhich. 

    This type of food is very caloric dense while nutritionally poor. Humans are built to eat large volumes of low caloric density nutrient rich food. That’s a big reason why people like BD have a hard time being lean.

    Empty calories from processed food stripped from their fibers and nutrients, such as empty (aka “white carbs”) in the form of white rice, noodles, pasta, bread, pastry, cookies, soda (rule no 1 for loosing fat never drink any calorie), sweets, sugars, etc… And all types of oils, butter, margarine, etc… These are your major enemies. But they really are not necessary to cook delicious and tasty food, they are mostly now a tool for food related corporation to maximise profits.

    Look at Thai food for example, it’s super tasty with spices and herbs, but often not very caloric dense.

     

    In my opinion the easiest way to eat large volumes of low caloric density nutrient rich food is to eat as much as possible raw plant based. No need to go 100% raw nor 100% vegan. But as much as possible, the more you can the better.

85. 6 years ago, I lost 50 pounds and kept it off.  I wont tell you what I did, because it doesnt matter.  Since I now work in the health industry, I see many success stories, and many failures.  Success has nothing to do with which plan someone chooses.  They all work.  It depends entirely on the difference between systems vs goals.  (Scott Adams has a book on this I enjoyed.)

     

    Those that failed, focused on the goal: weight loss.  Those that triumphed focused on the daily system: putting as many nutritious foods in the body which fuel the cells with antioxidants, vitamins and minerals so you feel great, sleep great, have clearer skin, more energy, stronger bones, balanced hormones and healthier blood.  The best systems included something fun like cheat meals and cheat days.  Abandonement rate is a real factor, like Tim Ferris said.

     

    So to this day i follow my system, its fun as hell because I get two cheat days, then the other 5 days I return to mostly veggies and protein.  I feel amazing, light, and incredibly sharp on my clean days.  The other two days i celebrate life and have a blast.  My advice to anyone is to find a weekly system that is very strict, with opportunities for rewards and breaks.  Plan to keep it up for a year or more.  Tweak it until its actually fun.

86. But you didn’t choose to have a food addiction; that’s something beyond your control and it’s not your fault.

    Do you agree with that?

    Of course not. If I have an addiction, how I deal with that addiction is 100% my fault. If you get an addiction or sick or whatever (even if it’s not your fault at all, and that’s debatable), you don’t just throw your arms in the air in surrender and say, “Oh well, I have zero agency here and it’s not my fault. I guess I’m just fucked!”

    I’ve never commented here before, but I just wanted to point out that you might want to try what I did to eat healthier:  use Huel, or Soylent if you can’t tolerate Huel.

    I don’t know anything about Huel, but I have watched several documentaries on Soylent and the science behind it is very iffy. I’m also not sure if I could psychologically maintain the habit of drinking sludge every day for months on end.

    did some research yesterday and found out a reasonable shot for us endomorphs is to look like Russel Crowe in Gladiator.

    Yes, I agree. My ideal-but-acheivable body is Vin Deisel several years ago when his body was muscular but quite smooth with a viable amount of fat. He wasn’t cut at all, but he looked decent, strong, and healthy.

    I notice there is this accurate measurement that you refuse to do

    I’m not refusing to do it. Learn how to read, then go back up and re-read my comment very slowly.

    I definetly am believing in genetic differences. George st. pierres trainer on a podcast was saying a lot of people would get fat hanging out with george because he’s a bit genetically blessed in the food department and on the ectomorph side of physiology.

    Yes, this is factual. Like that study they did where they fed average-weight prison inmates up to 9,000 calories a day in order to make them fat, and none of them got fat, bewildering the researchers (they gained wight, but didn’t get fat). And when you see two little kids with the same parents and one is fat as fuck while the other one is perfectly normal-looking.

    I don’t think even modern-day science fully understands the differences in two people’s bodies when it comes to this.  Again, this is not an excuse (this is all 100% my fault), but it’s a reality a lot of people, when giving fitness advice to others, either don’t understand or purposely ignore.

87. fed average-weight prison inmates up to 9,000 calories a day in order to make them fat, and none of them got fat…
     
    I don’t think even modern-day science fully understands the differences in two people’s bodies when it comes to this.  Again, this is not an excuse (this is all 100% my fault), but it’s a reality a lot of people, when giving fitness advice to others, either don’t understand or purposely ignore.

    This is exactly what I designed my system around, how to address mechanisms instead of the standard calories / willpower systems models.

    I’m an endomorph and I eat 4k-5k calories per day while looking more like a Russell Crowe body than Vin Diesel.

    My (long) post above outlined the theoretical mechanisms that I designed my personal testing around to validate and implement. I would argue the science while not easily accessible is starting to get known, NFL teams are implementing ideas analogous to what I outlined.

88. @CW

    Your initial 10 point comment is in my opinion one of the most interesting and no nonsense of the whole thread indeed.

    The people who drop 70+ lbs quickly and keep it off are utilizing some mechanism other than calorie / energy expenditure as the primary driver.

    Have you considered thermic exchange? Just spending time feet to neck immersed in fresh water (body is 37C, so water should be 20C or less) without even moving burns a lot of energy since water conduct thermic exchange an order of magnitude better than air.

    @BD by the way how long do you swim/relax in fresh (20C or less) water per week? I don’t have the computation on the top of my head but just relaxing or sending emails one hour  in a fresh (the colder the more but it doesn’t have to be ice cold,far from that) bath burns far more energy than resistance training or intensive cardio. Of course it doesn’t work in a warm bath.

     

    I’m an “endomorph”, with visible abs and big muscles while lifting 2-3 times per week (for 30-40 minutes), not doing a lot of cardio AND eating till I’m full every meal (4k-5k calories per day at 190 lbs). I also used to be skinny fat while working out VERY hard. I don’t mind proving it to individuals privately if needed.

     

    I am interested to see your evolution from skinny-fat in photos&measurements and discuss how you did it. How can I PM you? You’re on Alpha 2.0 community?

89. Don’t forget the banana diet. Sure to work.

90. Some articles about energy expenditure for cold induced thermogenesis in the scope of fat loss:

    http://www.jci.org/articles/view/67803

    http://www.jci.org/articles/view/68993

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3113548/

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3650516/

91. @Gang

    Have you considered thermic exchange? Just spending time feet to neck immersed in fresh water (body is 37C, so water should be 20C or less) without even moving burns a lot of energy since water conduct thermic exchange an order of magnitude better than air.

    Interesting, I hadn’t considered that for energy expenditure but I do 3+ cold immersions per week for other reasons.

92. I’m not refusing to do it. Learn how to read, then go back up and re-read my comment very slowly.

    You refuse to do it now in your current shape. This is what I mean, sorry if that wasn’t worded properly nor fully.

    Sure you want to do it when you already reached your goal or almost. Don’t get me wrong: I understand your rationalisation. And indeed, if you didn’t have an emotional issue with food causing you to irrationally stick to unhealthy eating patterns, it would be useless to do a DEXA now because you already know that you need to loose fat.

    But as you said your problem isn’t technical, it’s psychological.

    And as you also said, you’re an INTJ who thrives with systemic rational approaches based on scientific measurements. My argument is that you would have more success with such an approach because it matches your psyche, and this starts with scientific detailed measurement of your body composition. Provided with these measurements, you can then plan, and set measurable goals and intermediate milestones, actions, including planning accounting for your own incompetency to follow a diet in the long term, etc… You know that spreadsheets and planning stuff much better than me.

    Again I am not arguing that technically you need to do a DEXA scan now. Clearly technically the DEXA is only really needed to track the last few % of bodyfat I agree with you. My argument is that you need it now psychologically as the starting point of a holistic and systemic approach to your eating and fat mass. Because you need this systemic approach.

93. @Mike

    So could you be Alpha 2.0 and (some) people could still see you as a pussy (beta)?

    I think that yes, some people can think that you are a pussy, but who cares, being alpha 2.0 means that you are outcome independent too, you aim to be efficient in all areas of your life, but if things don’t goes your way you just adapt with the new facts or you just don’t give a fuck.
    Actually, I think you could be a bisexual guy, be perceived as a beta faggot by a lot of people and still be Alpha 2.0 in your own way if being like that makes you happy.

94. In regards to Soylent, Huel, Queal, and similar products, I don’t think that they are harmful.  First, there aren’t any cases of nutritional deficiencies caused by drinking them, and all the blood tests that have been performed show improvements.

    All the negative articles about these drinks seem to focus on the idea that they might not be perfect, that they don’t have the right balance of ingredients.  But most people just go eat whatever they want.  Some try to watch their health and restrict their diets, but I’ve never heard of anyone who designs a diet down to the level where they make sure they get a certain amount of each micronutrient.  These drinks make it easy to do that.

    Sure, it’s possible that there might be a problem with one of the drinks, which is why I use multiple brands.  But I disagree with the idea that it is reasonable for a person to obtain nutrition better than the drinks offer without spending at least 25% of their time planning, sourcing, preparing, and eating meals.

    The two people I know who drink these 100% of the time and who lost a huge amount of weight are not concerned with the nutrition at all.  Any negatives from the drinks’ ingredients are far outweighed by the health benefits of curing their obesity.

    I don’t know why so many people hate these drinks. Maybe they are really bad for you. But it’s just not backed up by my experience and I feel better than I ever have.

95. when it comes to my physical life, I have clearly failed, and failed badly.

    Caleb, I think you’re too harsh on yourself.

    I don’t think you failed. It seems to me you have got less successful in this than you desire. Real failure would be being really fat and having serious health issues.

    Maybe a bit more self-love and acceptance would help feeling less stressed and more at ease with your body. Yes, you aren’t perfect – nobody is. Keep on taking care of your body, but maybe look at it like you would with a loved one or a friend: less judgmental, more accepting. 🙂

96. I agree that your problem is most likely psychological and trying new kinds of diets won’t help.

    I have two suggestions:

    1) Clarify for yourself why do you really want to lose weight. Is it because you don’t like what you see in the mirror you say to yourself “I shouldn’t look like this”? I think that the word “shouldn’t” is the problem. Compare a guy who should earn money with a guy who actually wants to earn a lot of money – who of them is going to succeed? You may say that if they execute the same steps then it makes no difference, but the guy who actually wants something thinks about it a lot and actively looks for ways to make it happen. The guy who should do something just wants to get it somehow done. It’s a huge difference in my opinion and in your case losing weight is hard, so “should/shouldn’t” just isn’t enough to succeed. At this point it seems like you feel like you should lose weight but you want to eat. Unless you address/resolve this, I don’t think you’ll succeed. I remember you writing that you have pictures on your wall of what you want to achieve to see it every day and remember your motivation. Do you have anything like that regarding your weight on your wall? Is being slimmer really part of your vision, something you internally identify with and strive for (positive motivation) or do you approach it as an inconvenience which should be dealt with (negative motivation)?

    2) You could try something I would call ‘cognitive recalibration’. It is more actionable than the first suggestion, but needs a bit of explaining. At this point unhealthy food (mac&cheese, donuts, …) is something you like to eat and enjoy. The truth is that it is hurting you and by avoiding it you would not miss out on anything. You can approach unhealthy food the same way you go about alcohol. You do not drink alcohol and when you see someone getting wasted you maybe do not judge them but you may say to yourself “what an idiot, I would never do that to myself”. I think that understanding the fact that you do not miss out on anything by avoiding unhealthy food is crucial here. This is again best explained on alcohol – when someone stops drinking, we call it “giving up drinking”, which is a really really bad attitude. As long as someone thinks about it as “giving something up” it means that the person thinks he/she actually loses something by not drinking. That is no way to live and naturally it does not work in most cases. So the actual suggestion is – buy several books on how eating too much carbs, sugar, wheat and unhealthy food is bad for you and read all of them for several weeks to the point when it will be annoyingly repetitive (and of course make notes, ideally hand-written, about how unhealthy all that stuff is, and take your time writing them down, no copy-paste). When you see someone eating a pizza or drinking soda think to yourself “what an idiot, he’s hurting himself and I would not do that to myself, how can someone live like that? It’s good that I am not like that.” This has to become part of your thinking, your beliefs, and it takes time to get it into your subconsciousness.

    Remark #1: Yes, the second suggestion is a form of self-brain-washing, but as you well know a lot of our beliefs have been somehow programmed into our brains by us being exposed to it for a long time. Case in point – when someone says “celebration/party”, we automatically connect it with alcohol. I think it is fascinating that a person can be programmed like this, and why not use it for something good of your own choice? With societal programming you recommend de-programming; with food I suggest re-programming.

    Remark#2: More of a disclaimer than a remark – the second method worked well for me when giving up booze, and when I say it worked I mean that not only I do not drink but I also have absolutely no cravings and can be around people who drink without feeling like I miss out on something.  Food addiction is worse – with alcohol it is easy to stay sober because I know that I am fine as long as I do not drink that first shot after which more physical part of the addiction would take control. With food this is harder, because it is harder to avoid eating any food which contains a bit too much sugar, after which physical craving may appear. I don’t know what to do about this.

97. Strongly recommend checking out Stephen Guyanet’s outstanding obesity reseach. Will change the way you think about eating and weight loss.

98. BD- I’m 50… similar in age to you.

    The problem with diet info etc is much of it I’d coded in chemical terms and not necessarily easy to get ones mind around. You may not be looking for ideas but as an avid reader of your blog I feel compelled to  help with an idea. For the record I am in amazing shape for 50 and I do not suffer or deprive myself. It’s a matter of retraining your daily intake..

    here it is:

    no refined carbs after 2pm and no starchy carbs after 5pm

    I also eat 5 times a day to keep the metabolism burning like logs on a fire.

    One good cheat day a week.

    Try that and see what happens

     

    Jay

     

99. Science though.  Eat less calories than you burn, period.  If you are not active at all, then you might need to only have 400 calories per meal.  I didn’t even calculate mine, just guessed at 1800 cal per day, then tried it, noticed I maintained my weight for about 3 days and lost a pound for the week.

    I agree with that, anyone who is sedentary wouldn’t even need 1500 calories. There’s been days where I just chill at home working completely sedentary and just got through eating just 1000 or so calories and just drinking water.

100. Aaand Mark Zolo of Naughty Nomad fame, my earliest hero of game and freedom, hangs in the towel.

     What a surprise…

101. Snake diet.

     I was a “strong, fat guy”, who loves working out and would have looked like absolute shit if I hadn’t liked lifting weights.  I can put on muscle pretty easily, but can put on fat easily too.   Luckily I didn’t look as fat as I was because I carried it well due to having a decent amount of muscle, but it’s something I’ve struggled with and tried just about everything for it for years.

     The snake diet sounds crazy.  It’s basically a water fast,  but you drink some water with potassium salt and sodium in it, so you’re electrolytes stay in good balance.  This means you feel pretty much normal and not hungry, and can go about your normal day, but you’re losing probably about a pound or two per day once you’re in ketosis (obviously you lose a lot of water weight in the first 2 days or so).  It is by far the easiest and most effective way I’ve found to lose bodyfat.

     It’s incredibly muscle sparing.  I lost 80lbs a few years ago, over about 2 years of just working incredibly hard.  Over a few years I gained it back.  So far with this diet I’ve lost about 60lbs over the last couple months, but I look much leaner than I did when I lost weight before, since it seems like I’ve lost only fat and no muscle.

     Anyways, you should check it out.  The guy who came up with it has a bunch of youtube videos that are mostly just him ranting for about an hour, so there’s not a very clear outline of it.  You can check out his Instagram page though to see what I’m talking about with the fat loss results.  If you want to just know what I did and am doing, just email me.

102. Really looking forward to the Alpha 2.0 Business course!

     I´m not that great with financial life, but I´ve noticed I´m probably better than average at managing money. I´m always listening to others saying how poor they are, and I´ve never felt like a poor guy. My financial life could definitely be better so I´m impatient for the course.

     I think my most difficult area is probably family life… I get along with my family but they´re always saying I´m too detached from them to the point it seems I don´t care about them. I´m in my mid 20´s with no kids, and I´d like to be a father someday but I kinda fear that I´d suck as a parent because of this.

     Woman life is also a struggle but I´ve been able to get ok with it with not that much effort, so I´m not that worried about that yet.

     Anyway great post, motivational indeed! It feels good when someone you admire and follow shares not only their success but also their failures.

103. Lots of suggestions here, and I’ve made some notes on a few of them. Too many comments to reply to (I’m working my ass off on this business course at the moment). Just two quickies:

     Aaand Mark Zolo of Naughty Nomad fame, my earliest hero of game and freedom, hangs in the towel.

     Don’t worry. He’ll get eventually divorced / break up just like all the other players who go mono.

     Caleb, I think you’re too harsh on yourself.

     “If you are hard on yourself, life will be easy on you. If you are easy on yourself, life will be hard on you.”

     ~Jim Rohn

104. I love your writing as you write from a very similar perspective as myself . I have always been smart , and pretty good with people. I have a family that loves me and have generally had a strong spirtiual life.  As I got older my intelligence lead me to opportunities to make money , my first career position I was making over 30K and I’ve nearly tripled my salary in just 6 years time ( and realize I might be getting underpaid at the moment) .  My Achilles heel has always been my physical life.  I was decent weight until about 8 years old when I became ” husky”  by the Time I was 18 and graduating Highschool I weighted 280 lbs … my bottom was when I was just 22 years old and 330 .   Naturally my sex life was dead in the water and I very vividly remember trying so hard to take a sexy selfie for like 30 minutes straight , putting on a hat, taking off a hat, changing shirts, pants,  desperately looking for some angle to take a pic and maybe possible… hopefully look attractive.

     I lost 100 lbs over about 2 years using Keto at 26 and flirting with women became much easier . at 230 I am still chubby but as far as I was concerned I was a fucking Adonis, I’ve noticed my weight steadily climbing but have almost eveloped a phobia of one day waking up and being 300+ pounds again so I always do a decent job of responding and trying to reduce my weight again .

      

     My frame of reference is still adjusting, this is by far the most attractive I’ve ever been but I am embracing that I still have so much work to do to being as attractive as I know I can be .  Even with 100 lbs lost I’d still save my fitness and physical life has been my greatest disappointment.  I make good money , I have a family that loves me, I still feel like my career and the possibilities of it have a large upside ( in fact I have just started doing some public speaking of my own and I’m enjoying it) but the one area of my life I’ve struggled with is creating and working on a physical image of me that I feel truly represents the man inside.

     your article is a great reminder of how much I’ve grown in other areas and how much more I need to grow in certain areas. Thank you for sharing your reflections with us, you always have a way of helping me reflect on myself as well .

105. I’ve never heard of anyone who designs a diet down to the level where they make sure they get a certain amount of each micronutrient

     I did it for myself, using cronometer.com and mostly raw whole plant based food. Down not only to each micronutrient, but also to each micronutrient ratio balance such as omega 3/omega 6, sodium/potassium, etc… Mostly in the form of spicy yummy burritos, and a bit of fruits. I reached my weight goal this way and became clearly healthier, for instance I got sore throats or colds way less often than usually.

      

     However I fail miserably at muscle gaining. I have the opposite problem of BD : hard muscle gainer and I hate with a passion physical training, terrible consistency. However controlling my food intake takes me few effort, if I don’t control my food intake I tend to loose weight, and tweaking a diet holistically feels interesting to me, like a chemistry experiment. I often feel lazy to cook but I can still overcome the laziness and do it consistenly with a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment.

     But “Workout session? Nah, I’ll do it tomorrow…. We live in an age where robots and machines can do all the heavy lifting so why on hearth would I do all this painfully boring as fuck weigh lifting, or running. And anyways it doesn’t work on me, I gained no muscle even after 6 months of consistent training. It just makes me feel like crap 24/7 when I workout with no benefit whatsoever. Something must be different with my body I must be one of those 1% people whose muscle do not respond to resistance training” is what runs in my head when I quit. I feel no satisfaction and no accomplishment at all with workout,I jist feel this is ridiculous and dumb as fuck that I have to do that. Even with the gym inside my building I need to kick my butt really hard to go in the room and do it, and even if I do, sooner or later I injure my right biceps and I can’t train for weeks, effectively quitting for months… Until next time?

106. Holy cow there are a lot of diets haha.

      

     You’ll get there man, when you really want it more than anything else.

107. And anyways it doesn’t work on me, I gained no muscle even after 6 months of consistent training. It just makes me feel like crap 24/7 when I workout with no benefit whatsoever.

     Gang: what was your animal protein intake during those 6 months? If you’re shooting yourself in the foot due to vegan or quasi-vegan prejudices, then it’s no wonder the weights aren’t helping.
     Did your lifts even increase? A lot? Did you apply progressive overload while staying mostly in the 5-15 rep range?
     And before you respond that “no, plant protein is just as good as animal protein”: well, there it is, you know what claim you need to test now, perhaps to your advantage since you may end up finally gaining muscle.
     160g of animal protein per day could mean 600g of salmon + 4 eggs +150g of cottage cheese, for example. Did you ever eat something similar every day for multiple months?

108.  

     Nice article.

     I’m really happy that you’ve acknowledged that even with a high level of determination, effort, counselling and with a program that has yield a high level of success with the majority,  some people may still  fail and it can be very mind boggling on why the failure when they are doing everything right.

     Now onto the weight loss, it seems you’ve done more of your fair share of research, dieting and exercise and I think it may be time to cut your losses. It simply doesn’t work well enough to get you where you want to be.

     If I was in your shoes I would consider a gastric bypass or something along the same lines. Even though I don’t think it’s a miracle solution I think it’s might just be the little boost that will get you to your goal.

     Added with good dieting knowledge and exercise that you’ve now mastered , it may all match up to be a viable long term solution

109. Everyone and their Uncle Frank has their “weight loss secrets.”

     Yet everyone and their Uncle Frank is fatter than a whale.

      

     Look BD, there are definitely some genetic components to carrying extra weight, but it’s a bit overblown, in all honesty. I know you take responsibility for your own weight, but .. don’t even use that thinking that it’s partly genetic (it probably is, but probably a lot less than you think). You know deep down that’s an excuse.

     I used to be the kid in high school that couldn’t gain a pound to save his life. BUT I’ve also gone up to 200 pounds and lost it back to 170 at 6’0. AND — it all has to do with habits, eating, WHY you eat, your reward systems, etc.

     I will wager big money that you probably both “stress eat” (I’m stressed, fuck it, donut time) and “entertainment/ pleasure” eat (I’m kind of bored, most of my eating is like a Bachannal). Hey it’s nice to have an interesting meal of Chilean Seabass every once in a while, but most food should be fuel. AND you should be hungry enough where basic foods … TASTE GOOD.

     Right now, your food-dopamine hits are probably off the charts. You’re in the food addiction pool, deep. The hardest part of retraining all your food habits is actually just the first week or two. That’s all.

     You can even try the inverse of what many suggested. ONLY eat at dinner time (one meal a day) – very hard to eat 3,000 calories in one sitting, if the food is somewhat food-shaped (ie not pizza).

     Healthy eating and exercise is one of those things were you need to BUILD MOMENTUM. The first month is “peak fall off the wagon” time. You need to get into a good enough groove where you’re actually FEELING, at a core, visceral level …. the positive emotions of a healthy diet and weight training and yes even cardio (all separate roads). You won’t feel enough of these positive responses in the first month — feels like you’re spinning your tires for no reason (you aren’t).

     But remember, we’re in a society where you’re set up to fail. “Ridiculous” food is all around 24/7.

     Also realize, that “special occasion” eating — like you said, social events, clients, family, etc … is not unique to you whatsoever. At 9-5 jobs, there is a birthday/ event/ office party literally every week. Just last week at my office, the has been free pizza, free beer, free bourbon, free cupcakes, free cookies, free candy, free bagels, free waffles and pancakes (I wish I were joking).

     Every week, or two weeks, there will be some “special occasion” – whether it’s a holiday, travel, or whatever. You were brainwashed by marketers in “consuming more” during a special holiday. Right now, it’s Pumpkin-flavored this, Pumpkin flavored that. Ooh, it’s October! YOLO! Can’t miss the Pumpkin Pancakes! Forget that … get rid of the idea of special occasions — unless you say … only have 4-5 special occasions a year (in reality it’s usually 52 special occasions a year that span 100 days) — they’re not really “special.” And you can celebrate in ways other than food consumption.

110. I must say I probably inadvertently picked it up from your materials years ago but I came up with my own six areas —

     I generally combine family + friends (social). Really they should serve the same purpose — positive relationships and support, loyalty, kinship, etc. I don’t have kids though – and yes there is more an element of ‘obligation’ with family. Which their shouldn’t be if your family was actually as supportive, if not more supportive, than your friends.

     Girls, finances, health — those are similar to yours as well.

     You have spiritual + recreation.

     Instead of spiritual, I have “creation” — the idea of a life mission, one that is inherently creative, not “consumptive” which is basically hedonism and taking. Maybe that’s clearer rather than having spiritual goals

     Instead of recreation – I just have ‘elation’ — basically meaning — emotional well-being and enjoying life. Pretty similar. More of a focus on mental well-being than specific hobbies though. You can ‘have it all’ and still be miserable, so this is a key pillar for me. Pretty similar though.

111. Based on your op, it seems that this seems to be face issue more than a body issue. Let’s face it, I don’t think you can have a chiseled face. But you can at least get rid of that double chin, which seems to be the crux of the issue. Maybe you can get a chin tuck. As for the chubby face, it’s probably going to require weight loss to certain extent.

     It’s all going to come down to priorities. Do you feel more shame for being chubby, or do you feel more pleasure indulging in eating random unhealthy things whenever you want. Giving up that might make affect your overall happiness. Just something to consider. I don’t think people will care about taking advice from a chubby guy. Just own it and accept it, and stop being such a perfectionist. Is it really worth so much effort and the cost associated with it?

112. @Antekritt

     what was your animal protein intake during those 6 months? 

     During those 6 months I was NOT eating vegan at all (I have never ate 100% plant based more than a few days so far in my life, and it’s only much later that I experienced with 90-95% plant based). Animal protein was from milk, cheese, eggs, chicken, duck, beef, pork, shells, very few fish (I dislike fish), except at some stage I was eating some canned tuna the one in water not the one in oil. It was an omnivorous SLOW (not low) carb diet, meaning I avoided white/empty carbs.

113. 160g of animal protein per day 

     I was eating about 2.2g of protein per kg of desired bodyweight which was around 65kg, that means 140~150g of protein per day, the vast majority (90%?) of which was animal. My actual weight climbed during that time from 54kg to 60kg.
     I am 174cm height.

114. Did you apply progressive overload while staying mostly in the 5-15 rep range?

     I don’t know what is progressive overload but I am interested. I was staying only withing the 7-14 reps range. Slow controlled rep motions: 5 second up, 5 second down.

115. @Antekritt

     DEXA scan done in May 2018. My Fat Free Mass Index (aka Lean Mass Index) is 12.2kg/m2. Do you understand that at 36, this clearly places me in the 1~2% proportionally less muscular men of my age? 95% of women aged over 75 even have an FFMI over 12.9.

     https://naturalchoiceswellness.com/index.php/2016/05/17/fat-free-mass-index-vs-body-mass-index/ffmi-averages-table-2-2002-study/

     Among my friends, several of them never do any sport nor workout, never step foot in a gym, smoke tobacco, smoke weed, drink alcohol multiple times a week, work sitting in front of a computer all day, eat whatever but all of them are much more muscular than I am.

      

     Some other measurements:
     I did a full blood test, everything is good according to ranges and doctors. Only Transaminases were out of range but since I don’t eat refined sugar nor drink any alcohol the doctor said it’s most probably due to my resistance training session which makes micro lesions to my muscles (which is what resistance training is supposed to do and it’s supposed to rebuild bigger, right? So why, my muscle mass never increased?).
     oestradiol R.I.A.
     0.09nmol/l (N 0.08 to 0.18)
     25pg/ml (N 22 to 50)
     on 2018/07/04 – very good levels as far as I understand

     Free testosterone:
     38.9pmol/l (N 30.1 to 189.8)
     11.2pg/ml (N 8.7 to 54.7)
     on 2018/07/04 – I don’t quite understand this measurement, normal range stated in results is completely different than usual free testosterone ranges, but anyways it’s pretty damned low even according to the results range

     Total testosterone level (normal range for men on result paper 2.40 to 8.71ng/ml)
     3,41 ng/ml=341ng/dl on 2018/07/04
     3.59 ng/ml=359ng/dl on 2018/07/24
     Again not clinically low, but pretty damned low. BD advises TRT for men below 4ng/ml, his lowest total testosterone ever measured was 5ng/ml, before TRT he measured 5.6, during TRT between 9 and 7, stabilized arround 7.5. It is commonly stated that raising T from 3 to above 6 induces significant gains of muscle mass and loss of fat.

     FSH (normal range written on results for men 0.95 – 11.95)
     2.21 mUI/ml on 2018/07/24

     LH (normal range written on results for men 0,57 – 12,07 mUI/ml)
     2.44 mUI/ml on 2018/07/24

     I consulted an endocrinologist because I wondered wtf is wrong with me. After discussing and seeing me naked he had a tiny doubt that I could have Klinefelter syndrome (XXY trisomy, or mosaic where some cells are XY some are XXY), even though he said my testes are normal size. But my body does kinda look Klinefelter (narrow-ish shoulders, large-ish hips, pathologically low muscle development and high bodyfat – yet I am jot overweigh at all). So he tested my LH and FSH, but they are not at all within Klinefelter ranges, meaning I do not have Klinefelter nor mosaic Klinefelter according to him.
     Doctors are really unhelpful about T levels, they basically all say that my T and free T levels are great.

116. I would add weight so that I always reach failure within the 7-14 reps range. Reach failure meaning I cannot complete the rep motion no matter how hard I try. I did gain strength quickly at the beginning. But then I also plateaued quite quickly, I think after 3-4 months. According to my trainer back then, in my case none of these strength gains were due to muscle development, all was due to nervous system development and technique.

117. @Gang: then you’re not in the case I was suspecting (people who underestimate how hard they’re supposed to be training + how they should always be adding weight when good technique allows it + who don’t realize how much protein they should be taking). You seem to be a non-responder (or low responder) to weight training, so I have no competence to give you advice, you probably know the potential solutions (or lack of them) better than I do.

118. @BD, I know you’re a guy who likes challenges.

     So I dare you to go and do Ben Pakulki’s Mi40 basic training for 40 days.

     I bought it some time ago, just out of curiosity, because I was starting to lag a bit on my fitness life. Mind you that I have more than 20 years in the gym. Did not matter, this program is challenging to the extreme!!!

     The results as a natural were mind-blowing…I lost 2-3% of BF and gained 5 pounds of muscle on those 40 days, even as an advanced guy. I think it is worth the shot.

119. Just a few tips since I have to be very conscious of my weight as well and do not cook.

     -I use a healthy meal delivery service for 80% of my meals, they are typically 350-400 cals with a healthy combo of protein, carbs and fats. They deliver M-W-F and I just microwave them.

     -A few days a week I try not to eat anything until noon (Intermittent Fasting)

     -Join a HIIT training gym, I have always lifted weights and still do but I go to a place called OrangeTheory 2-3x a week. They are everywhere and have classes almost every hour. It made a big difference for me and seems to allow for more mistakes in my diet.

120. Don’t, as one of the other posters said, obtain gastric bypass surgery.  I know two people who died of this surgery.  The death rate from complications due to gastric bypass was about 2% in 2004.  I’m not sure if it has improved since then.  Even if you don’t die, many people suffer from malnutrition, activity limitations, and bowel disorders afterwards.

     There are surely many other safer ways of trying to lose weight.  Even if you can’t lose weight, then it’s likely that, in 10 years, there will be drugs or nanomachines that cure obesity simply and completely before your age becomes advanced enough that your weight adds more than a 2% risk of death.

121. Like with everything else – it’s about focus and commitment.

     If you’re a natural and/or have a good mentor, then it’s of course easy/easier and you can call yourself lucky.

     If you’re struggling with anything, then you need to have a great motivation. If you want it hard enough (and the goals are reasonable), then you will succeed .

122. hey bd-

     never posted before.  love the blog, agree with 90% of what you say.  tons of great advice all around here.  a few thoughts:

     1. please stop with the ‘slow metabolism’ bullshit.  you’ve mentioned that a bunch of time over and over again in this blog in the past.  being tall, overweight and male actually gives you a higher metabolic rate than others.  old 80 lb women have slow metabolisms. you don’t.

     2. interesting that you mentioned willpower in the comments.  haven’t the recent studies shown that willpower is essentially a finite resource?  i.e., that you can kinda ‘use it up’ for the day and at that point you become somewhat prone to bad decision making?  have you had problems trying to stick to diets only to blow them at the end of the night?  that could be a result of making a lot of intense work-related decisions throughout the day.  just a thought.

     3. i would give the carnivore diet + fasting (either long term, alternate day or intermittent) a shot.  i know you’ve tried these things before to some extent, but here’s what the combo of those two things will do for you: regulate hormones, insulin and blood sugar.  i wont get into all the science of the whole thing here but i would give it a shot for like a month.  promise yourself you’ll stick to it and don’t look at the scale for at least a week or two.  just see how you feel at the end of it.  carnivore + fasting works so synergistically [is that a word???] that the weight loss feels effortless and sustainable.  at the very least it will keep your blood sugar super low the whole time.  i know that diabetes is a long-term concern for you.

     good luck and thanks for all the awesome content over the years!

123. @Gang and other hard-gainers: This finding may explain why some people have so much trouble gaining muscle

     Molecular ‘switch’ controls how much muscle we build

124. @Antekritt and DonQuichote

      

     The molecule in question is a protein called c-Jun N-terminal kinase (JNK). Speaking of it, Lessard says, “It’s like a switch […] If the switch is on, you’ll have muscle growth. If it’s turned off, you have endurance adaptation in the muscle.”

     Yes! I noticed I tend to have pretty good endurance in many aspects of life including physical: once I start doing something I can keep going, at my own pace, for hours and hours. Working, walking at fast pace or swimming are good examples of this. Also sex, I like to keep doing it for hours but rare are the women who don’t tire earlier or get sore.

     When you think about it my body is kinda build for optimising endurance: very small muscle mass means lower energy expenditure and storing all excess energy in fat instead of building muscles is an advantage for endurance: the fat is used during extended effort for providing a steady source of energy.

     Also I have appendicular fat free mass index way below sarcopenia (the condition of people who lack strength and muscle mass, most often old people over 75yo) cutoff values, this index is the fat free mass in the arms and legs divided by squared height. However I haven’t measured my strength so I dunno if it’s also below sarcopenia cutoff values. I wouldn’t be surprised though that while my strength isn’t huge it could be way above sarcopenia values.

125. @BD

     A few tricks I can think of, they may not be optimally healthy but they might work. Also you probably tried some already since they seem quite obvious:

     + whenever you have a social meal planned, family or business related, plan it to be the only meal of your day. Or at least skip 1 or 2 meals around this one. Reason being you tend to eat more when you are happy. And generally speaking, a meal with a client or with family is no place or time for worrying about caloric intake. It’s a moment to focus on business and/or be in a good mood and/or eat without any restriction whatsoever. Therefore if it’s your only food intake of the day, you cannot really go too much overboard no matter what and how much you eat. Hopefully you don’t have these meals every day or it wouldn’t be a sustainable trick.

      

     + Drink large quantities of water during the whole day AND drink much larger quantities of water than you are used to, shortly before each meal (within 30 minutes before),during the meal, and shortly after the meal. Also whenever you can, start your meal with a low calorie soup. Of course, drink 0 calorie, including no juice, no smoothie, no milk, no soda, etc… Avoid fake sugars such as coca zero. Only water and pure tea (and other naturally no calorie drinks). Don’t drink protein shakes or fruit shakes. (this is basically reverse advise on how to gain weight, which I used to gain weight).

      

     + eat as as you want much salad, lettuce, cucumber, broccoli, etc…all these low calorie food. But no oil, butter, margarine, sugar in the seasoning. As much herbs, chillies, spices, vinegar, lemon, etc… as you want in the seasoning.

      

     + cook with steam or water, not with oil, butter or margarine. You can even “stir fry” anything with a bit of water instead of oil when using a good pan.

126. Blackdragon says
     My view on the carnivore diet … will probably deprive you of critical vitamins, minerals, and nutrients, thus making it a bad idea…

      

     I also did have some concerns, so to alleviate my fears and being engineer I did serious research on carnivore diet and nutrition before starting. It is interesting that you just know and no research or asking questions is necessary.

      

127. This formula checks out. Tested it against the Navy formula and the results were the same

     http://www.ergo-log.com/rfm-calculate-fat-percentage-using-height-waist-circumference.html

128. I can offer only my own realizations with this struggle.  Here goes:  Since losing weight is actually a very slow process ( a realistic diet is 500kcal/daily calorie deficit which will only lose one pound per week), the reward for willpower is temporally disconnected from the actual act of willpower.  And same with the punishment for lack of willpower.  You don’t notice any difference in yourself whether you eat that extra serving of mac and cheese, you don’t get immediately fatter or thinner.  This is especially difficult if you’re getting laid, like you said.  The brain thinks, what’s the point?

     All you can do is mentally affirm the slowness of the process, and try to derive well-being from small wins, the scale going down a bit.  It has to get to the point where seeing the number of the scale go down actually brings you pride and pleasure, even just a pound.  This helps bring the act of willpower closer to the “reward”.  If the reward is losing 30 pounds, the brain thinks “I can’t do that right now, I’ll start the diet tomorrow it won’t make a difference”, but if you’re committed to losing one pound by your next weigh-in a week from now, the brain has a more manageable goal.

     My favorite diet is actually “The Robot Diet”.  Its not really a diet in the traditional sense, it doesn’t tell you what to eat.  You just set the Calories you want, protein you want to get, etc.  and then eat the SAME EXACT FOODS, with same portions, every single day to hit those numbers.  That way there is no variance, and if you lose weight on a Robot Diet, you know you are going to keep losing weight because the laws of thermodynamics don’t change.  The strength of this is that most dieters underestimate the amount of calories they actually eat, Robot Diet eliminates human error.  (tough with travel for sure, but plenty of healthy foods are portable: can of tuna, whey protein, etc.).  Sounds weird, but most people eat pretty much the same stuff every day anyway.

129. Diets don’t work.

     What you need is a regular plan.

     It is the same as weight lifting regimes: if you break routine for what ever reason, it does not matter, you can take a break it is even health to have a holiday (vacation). Then you simply continue on where you left off.

     Keep a notebook; normally this would be for exercise type & number of reps. Dated each day, some take a day or two off (weekends).

     For you I guess you could follow the 5+ a day, that is 5 or more fruits and vegetables. Fresh, or lightly cooked eg deepfried chips (slathered in fat) don’t count as a potato.

     Also get rid of the scales (unless you need to weigh bags for travel.

     Your weight will vary throughout the day depending on what you eat, how much exercise you’ve been doing, water intake, & if you just did a poo.

     YOU know if you are fat or fit just by looking in the mirror, or perhaps you need to walk up(maybe run) a flight of stairs to feel it. That is the new way that you tell if you are fit or not, are you losening the belt or tightening it, you get the point.

     Now, there will be two other aspects, which you may want to write in that notebook.

     Food: is it healthy or not. Personally I only write a healthy meal in my book, a partially health doesn’t cut it.

     Exercise: no not the gym. Just walking, walk everywhere that you need to go, take the bus/rail if you have shopping/grocerys that need transportation. You will want to clock 10-12km a day (this can be done at work). Don’t trust that smartphone, it will count bus/rail walking!

     5-8km will be a short day (usually 1 or 2 weekend days.

     The purpose of the notebook is to see your progress, track it & be motivated by it. It’s okay if you start out slow.

     It will be difficult if you see a car as a status symbol & are lazy / time poor to not drive everywhere.

     There is more, but I’ve rambled for a while now.

130. This formula checks out. Tested it against the Navy formula and the results were the same
     http://www.ergo-log.com/rfm-calculate-fat-percentage-using-height-waist-circumference.html

     I just tested the formula : the result is way off compared to my dexa scan. It’s almost half. No were near reality.

131. My favorite diet is actually “The Robot Diet”.  Its not really a diet in the traditional sense, it doesn’t tell you what to eat.  You just set the Calories you want, protein you want to get, etc.  and then eat the SAME EXACT FOODS, with same portions, every single day to hit those numbers.  That way there is no variance, and if you lose weight on a Robot Diet, you know you are going to keep losing weight because the laws of thermodynamics don’t change.  

     That worked for me. But a little more variety across the week would not hurt for consistency, it’s just more complicated to plan…

132. I build my diet from a baseline of “grams of protein per day” + “baseline of calories from a high carb source”.  Eg if I want 150g of protein per day plus a carb baseline of 1300 kcal, I’ll get the protein from let’s say [400g of turkey + 0.5L of dairy + one 25g serving of whey + 5 eggs] and I’ll get the 1300 carb-dominant calories from 1 pound of whole bread (this would be too much for a fat person, but acceptable if you’re lean and not trying to be ripped). Then I supplement all of that with so-called “health food”: veggies, fruit, etc, and on a certain number of cheat days (preferably no more than one per week or even per two weeeks), I’ll allow myself to replace the carb part and/or the protein part with a fast-food/resto pig-out.

     I’ve found this to be a decent way to stay under 20% fat while strong; it’s certainly suboptimal to get really lean, but here’s one thing that’s probably more relevant to ectomorphs than endomorphs (I’m between moderate ectomorph and low-mesomorph): a consistently high protein intake is more important to keeping muscle mass and strength than a consistent, high frequency gym schedule. Sedentary people on diets get ridiculously low animal protein; FDA recommendations are also laughably low; bodybuilders get ten times that. If you merely go to the middle and regularly give your body 130-200g of protein, it’s going to get the hint, even if you train infrequently. And more muscle burns more calories, too.

     Nobody gives a shit if you have perfect abs at 130lbs except 14 year old girls.

133. “massive list of diets and programs that I have already tried. If what you’re about to suggest is on that list, save yourself the typing.”

     After checking this I have to ask have you ever read this book and followed its information?

     Deep Nutrition: Why Your Genes Need Traditional Food by Catherine Shanahan M.D.

     The book focuses firstly on why you need to 100% cut out pro-inflammatory vegetable oils out of your diet. After that it focuses on what you’re supposed to eat for the best and the most optimal life possible.

     I think you’ll benefit largely from this book, it has by far one of the best nutrition informations out there – simply focusing firstly on what not to eat and only after that on what to eat.

     There’s almost no doubt you eat vegetable oils on the daily (given that it’s in almost everything and especially restaurants cook with it), have you tried to cut them completely out? If not then this book will highly motivate you to do that.

134. Don’t, as one of the other posters said, obtain gastric bypass surgery.  I know two people who died of this surgery.  The death rate from complications due to gastric bypass was about 2% in 2004.  I’m not sure if it has improved since then.  Even if you don’t die, many people suffer from malnutrition, activity limitations, and bowel disorders afterwards.

     Good point, Steve. There was a blogger (The Logical Optimizer) who had gastric bypass surgery at one point. He died in 2012, and that may have been a factor.

     please stop with the ‘slow metabolism’ bullshit.  you’ve mentioned that a bunch of time over and over again in this blog in the past.  being tall, overweight and male actually gives you a higher metabolic rate than others.  old 80 lb women have slow metabolisms. you don’t.

     Moa has a point. There is a fitness guru named John Barban who agrees:

     https://johnbarban.com/danger-metabolism-slowing-ahead/

135. Sometimes, you need a 40% solution Caleb. I think one of the issues that we have is this over abundance of information. It’s too much. Just stick to the basics. Discipline yourself to have a routine that’s based on a 40% solution where you dont have all the facts. Start here: OMAD (one meal a day) 6 days a week. Pay the price. Learn how to face the pain. Transmute the pain. It will be worth it.

136. Check out Mikhaila Peterson’s diet. She eats meat only and yet somehow has all nutrients needed. No idea how that works, but sounds like a good try.

137. You are clearly a person who pursues truth. There is a way for you to do this. My family has rampant heart disease so I have been studying nutrition for over 30 years. I have have a good nose for bs. When 6 or more truth seekers from independent sources line up with good sense, you’re probably on to something, but it still requires personal vigilance.

     Here’s my take…

     1  eat mostly plants. Of course they can taste incredible! It’s all the spices and variety of flavors that create amazing dishes  plus you have access to Portland food creations.

     2  Don’t let them add oil. This is so easy but it’s the practice that has fattened the western world. The fat you eat is the fat you wear. Here’s where I see the most bs. If you are already carrying extra fat does your body not have access to that? “But what about ‘healthy fats’ ?” Get them from the source…the plants you eat  …we don’t need to crush the plant throw away the nutrients and concentrate even more fat to consume. When I want to lose weight I simply count fat calories and keep the intake low.

     3. Investigate forms of time restricted eating. Some combination will work for you and give weight loss and health longevity benefits. Science is really developing in this area but practices are thousands of years old.

     regards Danny

      

138. Hi BD Have you check out DDP Yoga by Diamond Dallas Page Check out the Arthur video Something outside the box hey cheers Mick