-By Caleb Jones

I’ve been trying to get to Washington DC for a few years now, and every time I tried life has interceded. Finally I’m here. As I’m writing (most of) this blog post, my trip is almost done, having been here about two weeks. First I attended a conference for professional speakers, then I did my own seminars and coaching. I had two days in the middle to go do fun stuff.

What a great city! I ended up liking DC much more than I was expecting. If it wasn’t for the horrible weather (I’ll explain in a minute) and taxes (5.5% sales tax, 8.5% income tax; yuck), it would seriously be a city I would consider living in. It’s not perfect of course, but overall it stacks up pretty well compared to most other large US cities.

As always when I do these city reviews, I stayed in the downtown core (on purpose) for the entirety of my stay. I understand that as you move out from the core, things start getting more shitty, which is usually the case for a big American city. Keep that in mind as I go on; I can’t describe the entire area of Washington DC, just the central city core.

1. The women. Let’s talk about the women here since I know that’s probably what most of you are curious about. When I first arrived at DC, I was surprised to see how fit and trim everyone is compared to most other US cities. Several guys informed me that DC won fittest city in the US at some point recently, and I wasn’t surprised. DC women are definitely fit. In terms of attractiveness, they’re about on par with Chicago women. Chicago women are one tiny notch better than New York women, which is to say that Chicago (and DC) women are fit and generally average looking but nothing to get super excited about. This is opposed to places like New York (women who are fit and trim but somewhat plain looking) or Miami (super hot women of all races).

As you get closer to the government buildings, the women do start to get a little better looking. There are hotties to be found in DC, but you have to hunt for them.

So as to whether or not DC women are “hot,” that would depend on what city you come from. If you’re from Miami or LA, you’re going to find DC women disgusting. If you’re from Memphis or Detroit, you’ll think they’re gorgeous. (I stopped off at Detroit for three days prior to this trip, and the difference in women between there and DC was staggering.)

Typical DC subway station

2. The subway system here is clean, efficient, and seems to be well kept. Regardless, it’s still decades behind the subways of Asia. The subways in DC use primitive LED signs that look like something out of the 1970s. Instead of a computer voice announcing the next stop, there’s either complete silence, or a very fast muttering from the conductor over a 30 year-old speaker you can’t understand. On the plus side, the subway stations are very clean and well thought-out.

While the subways in DC are adequate, it’s a little sad to see the subways within the capital of the most powerful nation on Earth so far behind those of other nations. Oh well.

3. Traffic and crowds in Washington DC are very interesting. Like most cities, things get crowded after about 5:30pm. Unlike most cities, everything stays crowded until 11pm or even later. Very strange. I was in a Walgreens on a weekday night at 10:30pm, and it was jam-packed crowded, with huge, long lines at the checkout counter. At a Walgreens? At 10:30pm on a Wednesday night?

I asked someone if some big event had just ended, like a concert or sports game. “No,” he said with a shake of the head, “it’s always like this.” Even Manhattan doesn’t have late-night crowds like this in stores. Fascinating.

People in DC are very chill and relaxed as compared to most American cities. It’s refreshing. They’re almost as chill as the Seattle/Portland people I’m accustomed to. However, when DCers get into a car, they suddenly become New Yorkers. DC folks honk their damn horns constantly. Walking down the street at any time of the day you’ll hear honk after honk, all day long.

I started paying attention to why these people were honking, and as you might expect, they were honking for the dumbest and most minor reasons you can think of. And no, this is not a “black thing;” most of the people I saw honking for no good reason were white folks.

What is it about the east coast that turns normal people into short-tempered assholes when they get behind the wheel of a car? It’s probably the biggest cultural difference in the US between the east and west coasts, and I admit I don’t understand it. At least in New York it somewhat makes sense; New Yorkers as assholes in or out of a car, but DCers are chill people…until they start to drive. Bizarre.

A couple I saw getting married in front of the Washington Monument. Poor bastard. I wonder if he looked into DC prenup laws.

4. The weather here is dreadful. I have a rule that I never travel in the summer, because that’s when most of the world is too hot and/or humid and it’s also when were I live (Pacific Northwest) is the most beautiful. This year I had to make an exception to this rule because of this conference I had to attend (I had put it off two years in a row and couldn’t put it off again), so I was prepared for shitty weather.

And boy, did I get it. Friends of mine in DC have admitted that while DC is a cool city, the weather sucks. Well, they’re right. The humidity here is bad. Not horrible bad, but definitely in the bad category.

You walk outside in the summer time, and within about four minutes you feel sticky and gross. I’ve noticed that people who live here carry around spare T-shirts with them to change halfway into the day because they sweat so much. Sweaty armpits here are common. People here shower two, if not three times a day in the summer time.

Worse, the humidity brings mosquitoes and little flying bugs, the like I’ve which I’ve never encountered in a big city like this. We’re talking both indoors and outdoors.

The final day I was here, it was 85 degrees, hot, and humid as usual. Suddenly there was a boom in the sky and it started pouring down rain, and I mean pouring. My smartphone suddenly beeped with all kinds of flash flood warnings, and within minutes the streets were like rivers. Hot. Humid. 85 degrees. And pouring down rain. Yeah. “Sucks” doesn’t begin to describe it.

I was trapped outside without an umbrella and my laptop in an expandable backpack that was not waterproof. Taxis become scarce when things like this happen, and I was very lucky to be by one that I lunged for instantly.

I had to fly home that day, and the Uber ride to the airport (had to Uber, couldn’t use the subway, long story) cost double because of the rain. Nice. I arrived only to find the airport was damn near shut down, planes had been rerouted to different airports, mass chaos, all because of…rain. (What the hell? People in DC aren’t prepared for this stuff?)

My flight was an hour late, then we had to sit in the plane an additional hour before takeoff, making my five-hour flight back to Portland a seven-hour ordeal.

Man, what a pain in the ass. DC is a very cool place, but this weather is a deal-breaker. I can’t imagine living in DC full-time and putting up with constant sweaty-sticky-multiple showers-change clothes-flying bugs thing for months on end (even without buckets of hot rain dumping on my head).

Cool architecture

5. The city itself is surprisingly clean, with a pleasant and unique mix of modern and colonial styles (though I hear Boston is similar). I could easily spend an entire week walking or biking around the city and I’m sure I’d enjoy every minute of it. The people, streets, buildings, and sidewalks are very clean and well-maintained. Homeless people are present but there isn’t very many of them.

One very weird thing was the size of the buildings. No commercial or residential building in the entire city of Washington DC is taller than about 12 stories. Some ridiculous, outdated law from a bazillion years ago restricts building height in DC to something around 130 feet. As you walk down a DC street, you see these new yet short, squat buildings for as far as the eye can see. There are no skyscrapers here. None. As a result, Washington DC doesn’t have a skyline.

If you’re accustomed to big cities with tall buildings as I am, it’s a very strange sight. I actually laughed out loud when I first emerged from the subway station and saw this for the first time. My first thought: “There’s no way in hell the free market would do this. There must be a stupid law, and I bet it’s artificially depressing the economy here.” Apparently I was right.

Like Miami and many other cities these days, DC offers a very inexpensive and efficient bike rental system, complete with a smartphone app, which I did use. My only complaint is, once again, after about 5:30pm, most of the bike racks are completely empty, causing you to walk around for blocks (getting more sweaty and sticky by the minute) to chase down a rack that might have one bike left.

DC is flat for the most part, so biking around is easy and fun. Biking around National Mall and hitting all the monuments once the sun went down was one of the most enjoyable moments I’ve ever had travelling. Good stuff.

The food in DC is on par with most large cities, certainly better than a city like Seattle but still not nearly as good as New York. Like with the women here, I put the food at about the same level as Chicago.

This is where your money goes.

6. Let’s talk about those national monuments. I did pretty much all the cool ones, just like a dorky tourist. Being a libertarian who is planning on leaving the country, seeing the iconic monuments of my homeland is a little bittersweet. As I looked on the Capital building and the White House, I tried to focus on the times when these structures really did mean freedom, trying to keep my mind focused on men like Van Buren, Tyler, Jefferson, and Coolidge rather than the bloodthirsty authoritarian emperors like Clinton, Bush, and Obama we have now.

The Capitol building and most of the Smithsonian museums were mildly interesting but mostly blah. The Washington Monument was very cool. The Lincoln Memorial was unexpectedly grand. It actually created a positive, powerful, and visceral reaction in me. Lincoln was a racist and a tyrant, and history has shown he really should have just let the south go, but regardless, viewing the majesty of that monument connected with my heritage as an American. Ah yes, we Americans are a violent people, but you guys are still my peeps.

The statue is much, much bigger in person than photos or video imply. It looks like a Roman Emperor.

My strongest moment of emotion was standing in front of something that wasn’t American at all. It struck me as I beheld the original Magna Carta, held in the National Archives building. A very strong and magical moment for me; a connection with the middle ages I wasn’t expecting. I also visited the Rotunda holding the Constitution, Declaration of Independence, and the Bill of Rights. The huge mural artwork around the documents was almost as striking as the original documents themselves.

The American Constitution is perhaps the most important single piece of writing in modern history. Too bad our government doesn’t follow it anymore. I will see these documents (including the Magna Carta) again. Definitely a highlight in a trip full of highlights.

I was also able to fulfill one of my life-long goals by being able to go inside the Pentagon(!). One of the attendees at one of my seminars mentioned he worked at the Pentagon, and when I expressed interest, he was able to get me in using a civilian visitor’s pass. A rare treat. Being inside this massive, iconic building (30,000 people work there!) was exciting to say the least. I was even able to snap a few pictures, which technically is a no-no. Here’s one. Hopefully the NSA won’t be throwing me in jail.

Pentagon hallway. Many nukes were pointed at us.

In summary, Washington DC is a very cool place and I enjoyed every minute of my two-week stay. Other than the weather and taxes, those who live in DC should be proud to live there. DC is now officially one of my favorite cities in the US, and certainly my favorite east coast city with the exception of Miami. I will certainly be back (just not in the summer time!).

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Thailand
This is a country that is very friendly to foreigners and to businesses as well. It’s also a very easy place to date — guys kill it with Thai women. They’re very sex-positive.
It’s inexpensive, although not like it used to be. But if you’re looking for someplace with a lower cost of living, you can live on the beach in Thailand for very little money. So economically, Thailand is great because it’s so cheap, and it’s great for women because frankly, it’s Thailand.
Disadvantages: Bangkok is pretty shitty and the cost of living there is rising. A lot of people don’t like Bangkok, and it’s really not my type of place.
It can also get humid there; something to consider if that bothers you. It’s definitely a hooker culture, so if you hate that, Bangkok isn’t the place for you. But you could live outside the city and do just fine. Thailand is a very, very good place to live for an Alpha Male 2.0.
Economically speaking, it will not grow as quickly as other countries in Southeast Asia because Thailand has already experienced a lot of its growth already. It’s still a growth country, it’s just not skyrocketing economically like Vietnam.

Argentina
I’ve mentioned Argentina many times on my blogs. It’s a crazy-but-super-fun place. But if you’re an Alpha Male 2.0, you have a location independent outcome and you’re making money from outside Argentina. I certainly would — I wouldn’t rely on income from inside Argentina with their shitty currency. But with income from outside the country, you could take advantage of their much lower cost of living.
Buenos Aires is an amazing city. It’s a huge New York-size city, and the women are cute (thought not amazing).
Argentina is a great place. Again, it’s a little insane, so if you’re younger (under 35 or so), it’s awesome. It’s almost got an old European vibe to it.
Also, if you live there for a while, you can possibly get an Argentinian passport, too. Win.

Georgia
For you Americans, I’m not talking about the state of Georgia — I’m talking about the country Georgia, the former Soviet republic. It’s in this strange little part of the world where it’s not quite Europe; it’s so far east of Europe that I don’t consider it a European country, but that’s a grey area. I wouldn’t move to anywhere in Europe. Eastern Europe won’t go down as hard as Western Europe; that’s a big topic for another time, but yes, Europe is on its way down.
Georgia is one of the few former Soviet republics that is doing most things correctly. They’re embracing capitalism and opening themselves up to trade, free markets, and low taxes, and it’s a pro-business environment. It’s a really good place to base your international business. The crime rates are also the among the lowest in the entire world; Tbilisi is sometimes rated as the world’s safest city.
Disadvantages: The capital city, Tbilisi, is a very small town. If you’re looking for a giant, bustling city, Tbilisi may not do it for you.
Also, one criterion I have for possibly moving to a particular country is that it shouldn’t border a place that’s prone to war and armed conflict. It’s sad, but Georgia borders a country called Russia, which is run by a dictator who likes to invade other countries. I don’t necessarily think Russia will invade Georgia, I’m just giving you the facts I have.
Georgia is awesome for an Alpha Male 2.0, especially if you want to stay near Europe or have a quasi-European lifestyle.

Panama
Panama is my favorite Central American country by far. It’s like a little Hong Kong in the middle of Central America. Panama City is fun, and the women are very hot and nice. Panama borders Colombia; you can basically drive between the two at your leisure, so a lot of Colombian women spend time in Panama.
If Colombia is a little too rough for you, or if you have a higher income and like a nicer environment, Panama City is the best of all worlds. It’s a very pro-American place; one of the reasons there’s so much prosperity is that there’s a lot of American money down there. They have a very strong economy, and they’re friendly to foreigners.
On the downside, it gets a little hot and humid, but not too bad. The women aren’t quite as hot as they are in many South American countries — but they’re still hot.
Panama is a great place for women, dating, and business. It’s almost a miniature version of Colombia. It’s not going to see crazy growth like Colombia, because like Hong Kong, it’s already arrived. But it will do just fine.
I love Panama. Highly recommended.

Cambodia
Cambodia is one of the rougher, more Third World countries in Southeast Asia, but like Vietnam, its economic growth is going to skyrocket, and it’s actually already begun.
Similar to Vietnam, Cambodia is doing all the right things to facilitate this growth, but it’s starting at a lower point than Vietnam did, so the growth it sees could even exceed Vietnam’s. These are just predictions, but I think Cambodia is going to do extremely well.
We talk about finding the next Singapore or Hong Kong, and Vietnam is probably it, but Cambodia could be right behind it.
It’s a little rougher so you’re going to be roughing it a little bit, like living in Paraguay. So if you like everything nice and perfect and clean, Cambodia might not be the place for you. But if you want to get in on the ground floor of a rapidly economically exploding country, this is it. There are only a few countries I can think of whose growth will rival that of Cambodia. I’m going to be doing a lot of business there in the next few years.
In terms of women, I can’t really speak to that where Cambodia is concerned. I’ve dated one Cambodian woman, but she lived in the U.S. and it was many years ago. I don’t know a lot about the dating situation there, but I think if it were bad, I would have heard about it.
Overall, Cambodia is awesome, especially if your priority is business and money.

Cambodia
Cambodia is one of the rougher, more Third World countries in Southeast Asia, but like Vietnam, its economic growth is going to skyrocket, and it’s actually already begun.
Similar to Vietnam, Cambodia is doing all the right things to facilitate this growth, but it’s starting at a lower point than Vietnam did, so the growth it sees could even exceed Vietnam’s. These are just predictions, but I think Cambodia is going to do extremely well.
We talk about finding the next Singapore or Hong Kong, and Vietnam is probably it, but Cambodia could be right behind it.
It’s a little rougher so you’re going to be roughing it a little bit, like living in Paraguay. So if you like everything nice and perfect and clean, Cambodia might not be the place for you. But if you want to get in on the ground floor of a rapidly economically exploding country, this is it. There are only a few countries I can think of whose growth will rival that of Cambodia. I’m going to be doing a lot of business there in the next few years.
In terms of women, I can’t really speak to that where Cambodia is concerned. I’ve dated one Cambodian woman, but she lived in the U.S. and it was many years ago. I don’t know a lot about the dating situation there, but I think if it were bad, I would have heard about it.
Overall, Cambodia is awesome, especially if your priority is business and money.

Chile
Chile is one of the more capitalist, even-keeled countries in South America. I don’t expect it to grow amazingly like Colombia, but it’s still a great place. I think Chile’s growth was a little better 10 to 15 years ago, so that probably would have been the time to move there. But it’s still a very, very good place for an Alpha Male 2.0.
I’ve heard very good things about the women down there. I’ve never been to Chile myself; it’s one of the few places in South America I’ve never visited. But I know enough about it to strongly recommend people look into it, spend some time there, and see if they like it.
In terms of big-picture issues for the Alpha Male 2.0 — the location independent entrepreneur who is non-monogamous — Chile is a damn good place.

The Philippines
This one is good for you guys who want to do this on the cheap and want to get laid a lot even though you have no game. It’s the best country in the world for Western beta males to get laid. These women are the horniest women on the planet Earth — and I say that as a compliment.
Downsides to the Philippines include lots of humidity, if that bothers you. It’s a little rough around the edges down there. Filipina women are really fun, they’re great to be around, they’re very horny and sex-positive, but they can be quite emotional. You might experience a little more drama with Filipina women. It’s a very Hispanic-type culture where everyone pair bonds, but then cheats like mad dogs.
There’s a very large gay community down there, and a lot of women complain they can’t find guys to hook up with, which is good for us. And it’s a super cheap place to live. You can seriously build your own house on the beach outside of Manila for around $12,000 USD.
The Philippines is a great place for guys who are much younger OR guys who are much older. I know some old bastards guys who are over 65 who are widowed or divorced, and they go to the Philippines and find a woman to marry who’s around age 35 (or younger!) and and still young-looking. I’ve seen it work.
So you guys who don’t have a lot of money but want to have sex with women who like Western men? Go to the Philippines! Great place for certain types of Alpha Males 2.0.

Malaysia
Specifically, Kuala Lumpur, which is almost a baby Singapore. It’s a fancy, cool town.
Malaysia is a Muslim country, but it is the mildest Muslim country in the whole world, I believe, even more so than Indonesia. It’s not a place where you really feel it. I know a lot of high- and mid-income guys who live in Kuala Lumpur and really like it.
In terms of women, I don’t have a lot of information on that. But again, if there was a big problem with Malaysian women, I would’ve heard about it by now, because guys love to complain to me when things aren’t right.
So I would say if your priority was business, Malaysia would be a good place for you. If your priority was women, perhaps skip Malaysia and go someplace like Thailand, the Philippines, or Colombia.
Downsides to Malaysia include the heat and humidity. Kuala Lumpur is a few hours away from Singapore by train, so it’s a very hot, humid part of the world.
I almost moved to Malaysia. I was that close. That’s how good Malaysia is, especially for you guys who are location independent business owners or want a higher-quality lifestyle somewhere that’s more First World than Third World but is still very cheap (cheaper than Bangkok!). I have never heard of anyone spending significant time there and disliking it — never.

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Conclusion
I just gave you 11 countries that are really good for the Alpha Male 2.0 to move to. They’re not all perfect for everyone. Your choice will depend on your age, your income, your taste in women, and where you are in life.
If your reaction to this is, “I don’t like ANY of those countries! They’re all bad!!!” then congratulations, you just proved my point. You’re full of shit and making excuses. You don’t want to take action, you just want to complain and stay put in your collapsing country. Stupid.
Once COVID is over (we’ve got a few more months, I’m sure), find a country you’re interested in and take at least a week to visit the place — two or three weeks is better if you can pull it off. Get to know the people. Learn the area. Learn the economics. Date some women there if you can. If you hate it, go visit another country. You might be surprised. It’s a lot easier than you might think for an English-speaker. I don’t speak any other languages, and I do just fine.
No more excuses. I just gave you 11 countries — the next step is up to you.