Recently I watched a Bill Whittle video on gun control. Its key point was the number one reason for violence in society was fatherless men, and that this single factor was more indicative of a future violent man than race, economic status, or anything else.

In the video, he referred to a recent New York Times article called 27 Ways to Be a Modern Man as evidence for how pussified men have become (being raised by single mothers is one of the many reasons).

I was curious, so I read the article. As you might guess, the article made me feel sick to my stomach. Seriously. I felt an uncomfortable churning in my stomach as I read it. It was supposed to be some kind of guide on how to be masculine. Instead, most of it reads like it was written by an extreme, castrated beta male wearing a dress in a politically correct, left-wing college closely monitored by communist feminists. The article should have been titled “Mangina.”

Remember, this is not some little blog or wannabe site publishing this article. This is the largest newspaper in America, the New York Times.

Allow me to ruin your day by examining some of these “27 ways.”

1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.

Buying shoes for your wife is fine. You probably make more money than her, so you’ll be buying her a lot more than shoes. What’s not fine is having detailed information on the brands of woman’s shoes memorized like some kind of mangina.

3. The modern man is considerate. At the movie theater, he won’t munch down a mouthful of popcorn during a quiet moment. He waits for some ruckus.

I agree everyone should be considerate, including women. But men are loud and masculine. If I’m going to eat popcorn during a movie, you’re going to hear me crunch that shit. If that actually bothers you, you’re a mangina and you need to fuck off.

6. Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouse’s phone and his kids’ electronic devices are charging for the night.

Are you fucking kidding me? Your kids’ electronics are your kids’ responsibility. Your job as a father is to teach your kids real-life skills so they can grow up as independent individuals, as I describe in my book.

Constantly doing everything for your kids will ensure your daughters grow up to be entitled bitches and your sons grow up to be manginas like the guy who wrote this article.

8. The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, he’ll say “helicopter,” not “chopper” like some gauche simpleton.

Fuck you. They’re choppers.

Imagine if Arnold had said “Proceed to the helicopter, fellow comrades!” instead of “GET TO DA CHOPPA!!!”

9. Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day.

The only reason you wrote that is because you have a daughter, mangina.

I have a daughter too, but having a daughter has nothing whatsoever with being a man.

10. The modern man makes sure the dishes on the rack have dried completely before putting them away.

Can you feel the estrogen flowing from this article yet?

Are you feeling that churning in your stomach yet?

15. The modern man has hardwood flooring. His children can detect his mood from the stamp of his Kenneth Cole oxfords.

In my experience, hardwood flooring is something usually insisted upon by women. Most men don’t give a shit.

16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.

A real man sleeps on the side of the bed he chooses, and if his wife has a serious problem with it, he finds a new one. Not because he’s an asshole, but because if you have to compromise anything non-minor in your life just to keep a woman, then you’re with the wrong woman (and she’s with the wrong guy). Downgrade her to FB and go find a different woman more compatible with who you are.

19. The modern man buys fresh flowers more to surprise his wife than to say he is sorry.

I have no objection to buying flowers for your special lady occasionally, but if you encapsulate this advice with the other crap in this article, the implication is that you should be buying her flowers all the time. No.

She should be buying me flowers. (And women have.) Or at least a cool action movie on blu-ray. (And women have.)

20. On occasion, the modern man is the little spoon. Some nights, when he is feeling down or vulnerable, he needs an emotional and physical shield.

I can actually feel my cock shrinking as I read this article.

When I’m feeling down or vulnerable, you know what I need? A hot, naked woman with a big ass bent over my couch screaming my name while I’m slamming her into oblivion. Afterwards I feel so much better.

To all women: If you ever hear me ask to spoon, you have my permission to punch me in the face.

25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.

Yep, I was actually waiting for the completely unrelated left-wing political opinion to come spewing out at some point. I’m actually surprised he waited until item 25.

Dude, just say it. “I’m a progressive who loves voting for Democrats and I hate guns and believe big government should USE GUNS to make sure no one else has one. Since this is what I personally believe, I think this is what a ‘real man’ also believes, just like with the daughter thing.”

I’m a libertarian, some of my friends are conservatives, others are left-wingers, but political opinions have nothing to do with who a real man is, or is not.

26. The modern man cries. He cries often.

Cries when his mom dies? Sure.

Cries often? No. That’s a mangina.

This, my friends, is why men are pussies now. We have guys like this in positions of major Societal Programming telling men how to be real men using things that will actually make them beta male manginas.

The saddest part of all this: I honestly believe the man who wrote this article (yes, it’s actually a man!) really does think that crying a lot, doing housework, and knowing women’s shoe brands really and truly are proud, masculine traits.

This is where men are now.

And this is nothing. It’s going to get much worse.

Enjoy the decline!

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