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As the Western world continues to collapse and as more of you Alpha Male 2.0s establish lives that are more mobile, five flags, and international (good for you), I’m starting to have more conversations with men about how to raise kids under a not only a non-monogamous lifestyle but also one where you are not in the same country as your children 12 months out of the year.

How would that work? Can you be a good dad if you see your kids only a few weeks a year? Do you care? Should you care? What about if you see them three or four months a year?

I’ve been giving this a lot of thought lately and I’m working on coming up with some parameters that make sense based on objective reality and not anyone’s opinions, desires, politics, religion, and touchy-feely feelings.

I will probably have much more to say about this in a few months, but for now, I’m going to give you an overview as I see this based on my 17-year experience as an Alpha Male 2.0, my 26-year experience as a father of two children, and my approximately 8 years of experience as a full-bore five flags international guy.

First, let’s get my personal opinion out of the way and then we can focus closer on objective facts.

It is my personal opinion, and this is not any Alpha Male 2.0 rule or standard but just Caleb’s personal opinion, that it’s a really shitty thing for you, your women, your kids, and the world if you go around impregnating women all over the world without any solid plan to be a real father to those kids.

I know some of you want to do this (or worse, are doing this now).

It doesn’t matter if you don’t have to pay child support in those countries. It doesn’t matter if that’s your “biological calling” or that you were designed to “spread your seed” or whatever. It doesn’t matter if “men in history did it.” It doesn’t matter if some women are stupid/immature and are okay with you doing this. It doesn’t matter what men in the Bible or the Qur’an did. It doesn’t matter what the book Sperm Wars said.

What matters, you dumb, horny mother fucker, is that kids need dads. Period, end of story. By going around the planet creating a bunch of kids who won’t have you as a dad there raising them, you’re just filling the planet with a bunch of broken children who will grow up to be broken adults. Not to mention the life chaos you’re causing these women by saddling them with single motherhood in third-world or emerging market countries.

So now let’s shift into factual reality as best as we can.

We don’t want to create a bunch of kids all over the world that never or virtually never see us in person so we can raise them as good fathers. Yet, we also have the problem that we aren’t physically located in one country/city 12 months out of the year so some absenteeism as a father is unavoidable.

I say that because the scenario where you have an OLTR wife who travels around with you 12 months a year and brings your one, two, or three kids with you wherever you go would be pretty great, but the reality is that the vast majority of women you will find as OLTRs, including those women who are amazing and would make great mothers are not going to agree to do this. They’re going to want to be more rooted and nested to raise their babies.

And frankly, these women have a point. Kids need stability and predictability. A small child going to a new country every 3-6 months, even if it’s the same 2-3 countries cycled back and forth, likely won’t result in optimal quality growth for a child, at least not until the kids are perhaps teenagers.

So accepting that there will be some absenteeism as a five flags Alpha Male 2.0 father, we have several different scenarios, all of which I will list below. Please note that I’m only talking here about you raising young kids, perhaps under the age of 16-17 or so. Once your kids are grown like mine are, you can do whatever you want.

Scenario 1: I see my long-distance kids a few weeks a year, whenever I get around to it.

This is horrible, as I already stated above. You can’t be a good dad and raise good kids who will become happy, high-functioning adults on just a few weeks a year.

Moreover, your baby momma will definitely and eventually find another guy if you’re gone that long (yes, even if you’re sending her money, which you probably aren’t), and your kids will start to view him as their real “dad.” Then you appear out of nowhere once every 10 months or so saying that you’re “dad” and then shit, the entire thing gets awkward and just doesn’t make any sense to anyone. Not to mention the probably of drama between you, baby momma, stepdad, and kids skyrockets.

So scenario 1 is out.

Scenario 2: I see my long-distance kids 2-3 months a year, ideally on a set schedule.

This may look a lot better than scenario 1, and I agree it’s much less bad… but it still sucks. Again, ask yourself, could a man be a good dad and raise great kids if they only see their dad for 2-3 months a year? The factual answer is no.

During those 2-3 months you’ll have a great time with your kids (barring stepdad problems which are just as likely as with scenario 1) but then the other 9-10 months a year your kids are fatherless or with a stepdad, making things confusing and drama-prone again.

Not to mention all the wonderful aspects of having kids that you’ll miss. I can tell you from personal experience that being there for things like:

• Your kids’ first crawl
• Your kids’ first steps
• Your kids’ first words
• Your kids’ first complete sentences
• The first time your kid goes up on stage in front of other kids/families
• Your kids’ first sports practice or games
• Teaching your kids to drive
• Your kids’ first date/relationship

…are all wonderful things to experience as a father. And you’re going to miss at least 80% of that stuff even if you’re strategic with when you visit them.

Scenario 3: I see my kids at least 5-6 months a year on a set schedule.

This, in my view, is the minimum acceptable scenario. It’s bad, but I agree it can be workable if you’re consistent and organized and your baby momma is very mature, reliable, and trustworthy.

You’ll be there enough to be a minimally functional dad, and that’s good. Then you’ll be gone for 6-7 months a year, and that will be hard for both you and the kids. Under this scenario, you should be doing a lot of Zoom calls with your kids/baby momma as is possible and appropriate during your away time. Moreover, as soon as the kids are old enough and confident enough (perhaps age 5-6+) you should fly them to your other location during your away time when your time and budget allows to get some more dad time in.

Hopefully baby momma won’t find a stepdad in your absence and you could even arrange this as part of the deal, depending on other factors like financial support, guaranteed visit time with you and her, and so forth. This is Alpha Male 2.0 non-monogamy, so as an OLTR or MLTR she’ll be allowed to have sex with other men as FBs if she really wants to, but nothing beyond FBs could be something you negotiate (and sure, it might not work long-term because of your absenteeism).

Scenario 4: I am away from my kids for 3-4 months a year at the most.

This can work well. In some ways, it can be even better than being with your kids 12 months a year (hey, your kids can get sick of you after a while, especially as they get older, and having time away from your kids for a bit is important as a man and Alpha Male 2.0). It’s even better if you plan those 3-4 months a year away from the kids where you don’t miss any big holidays, birthdays, or other important kid events.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so when you return to your kids you’ll have a great time. And you’ll have a great time with your baby momma too, who has also missed you and had her attraction for you rise while you were gone. Win/win.

I have not addressed scenarios here where you are no longer dating baby momma, but to me that’s a lesser issue since the big factor here is those kids, not necessarily your relationship with her. Ideally, you should have a relationship with her, but I realize life isn’t perfect sometimes.

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Question of The Week

Dating Women Outside Your Race

G.T. Writes:

I’ve been doing the online dating thing and hitting it hard, had some success and I have you to thank. But I seem to be running into an issue.

I’m 32, mixed race (half-black/half-white), living in Dallas, used to live in Georgia and Florida. When I was in Florida I had no problem getting white girls, but here in Dallas it just doesn’t happen. I have a REALLY hard time getting any light skinned girls to match or respond to me.

I know you’re going to tell me to go for the black women but I’m not really attracted to them.

Could you please give me some things to try? Thanks.

A few things:

1-Realize that yes, if you use online dating to exclusively pick up women outside of your race, it’s going to negatively affect match/response rates no matter what you do. As a very white guy, you should have seen the horrible (sometimes zero) response rates I got when I exclusively targeted black women when I used to live in the Collapsing USA. So remember that no matter what advice you take (from me or anyone else), your results are going to take a hit.

2-If you don’t like black women that’s fine, but start by hitting up women with as dark-skinned as possible. Go for 100% Hispanic girls, Indian girls, Islanders, etc. When you run out of those, go for the mixed blacks, mixed Hispanics, mixed Indians, mixed darker-skinned Asians (HOT!!!), etc. Only go for pure white women when you run out of all those.

3-If you’re a black guy (or half black but look full black, like my son) and you like white girls, dial back the thug/gangsta vibe in your profile if you have any in your photos or your text. You can still act black, but you know what I mean. I know plenty of black guys who absolutely slay with white girls, but they’re well-dressed, classy, reserved guys, not the “Dayyyumm dat ass gurl!” types. Snap it up a little if you haven’t already. (A lot of younger white girls do indeed like the more gansta black guy types, but they’re in the minority and respond much better to daygame and social circle game than online dating.)

4-As always, focus on your appearance like crazy. This is even more critical when dating outside of your race. Lose weight. Gain muscle. Take care of your skin. Clean up your facial hair; make it look perfect (or go clean-shaven). Dress a notch or two up. Address any problems with your hair or teeth. Etc.

5-Worst case scenario, if despite all of this you still can’t get your results up because you’re picky about the type of girl you like, start supplementing your online game with daygame and/or social   circle game (social circle game is more effective these days than it used to be if you’re an extrovert).