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On my other blog, I recently posted an article about how we live in an era of cultural overcorrection. For example, we went from representing gay people (about 2-3% of the population) in movies and TV shows 0% of the time in eras past, to today where we represent them 99% of the time.

Individuals can also overcorrect in their dating and relationship lives, causing just as much chaos and problems as they had before the overcorrection, if not more so.

To be clear, I’m not saying to not correct at all. Correcting your mistakes and learnings in your dating and relationship lives is crucial. I spent almost ten years correcting every little piece of my dating and relationship game until my woman life today is essentially perfect.

What I am saying is that emotional, irrational humans have a tendency to overcorrect, and doing that won’t solve a damn thing. Overcorrecting simply exchanges one set of huge problems with a different set of huge problems. Which is, of course, stupid.

Here are several examples of what I’m talking about.

A man will get into a TMM (traditional monogamous marriage). Since long-term monogamy doesn’t work, he eventually gets divorced. Because he followed societal marriage models instead of Alpha Male 2.0 ones, he gets financially raped in the divorce, loses his house and his retirement, and has to spend years in court battling for the right to see his own children.

After all of this destruction and misery, he loudly proclaims to the world, “THAT’S IT! I’M NEVER GETTING MARRIED EVER AGAIN!!!”

And he means it when he says it.

But he doesn’t realize that’s an overcorrection that’s going to fuck him hard. Because here’s what happens…

He stays unmarried, true to his word for a few years. But then, as he gets older (well past age 35), he starts to desire real companionship again like most over-age-35 men eventually do. Along comes a new woman, usually a very hot younger woman. Boom, he gets instant oneitis and fucking marries her, ignoring everything he said before about how he was never going to get married again.

I’ve pointed out many celebrities in the past who have done exactly this. Howard Stern, Sean Penn, Billy Bob Thorton, Nicolas Cage, Stanley Tucci, and many others, and especially Scott Adams who, after his divorce, publicly pronounced many times that marriage was a terrible idea in the modern era, writing entire articles about it, only to get married again a few years later to a younger hot woman with big tits, then quickly ending up in a second messy divorce while having his new ex-wife badmouth him all over the internet.

There have even been many men prominent in the red pill community who have done this or something very similar (I’m mentioning names).

The reason this happens is that because these men live their lives (temporarily) based on their emotional proclamation that they will “never get married again,” they don’t bother to invest in any relationship management skills that would improve a future, long-term, live-in relationship with a woman. They think, incorrectly, that they’ll never get married again so they don’t bother with any improvements that would make them better husbands or live-in long-term boyfriends.

Instead, they just bounce along in their lives with no real objective, dating women, getting laid, perhaps having a relationship or two, and then BOOM, they suddenly get oneitis for some hot girl who is Not Like The Rest™ (as most men eventually do, including Alpha Male 1.0s), get married (or move in together) and now they’re in a scenario where they have zero skills to make that kind of relationship work.

So, of course, it fails again, and they either get a divorce again (and usually the divorce is even worse than the first time) as with people like Scott Adams, or at “best,” be stuck with a weird, creepy or high-drama marriage with constant problems that he puts up with forever, as with people like Howard Stern.

All the result of overcorrection.

I’ll use myself as the opposite example. In 2007 I got divorced from a TMM because long-term monogamy doesn’t work. Once the dust had settled, I never said “I’ll NEVER GET MARRIED EVER AGAIN!!!” Instead, I was self-aware enough to know that at some point, eventually, when I was older, I would likely want to settle down with another woman again.

What I did say was, “I will never again put myself in a position where a woman has this much control over my money.” Oh fuck yeah, I absolutely said that. A lot.

I also said, quite a bit, “I will never promise a woman monogamy ever again. From now on I’m going to have sex with multiple women for the rest of my life no matter how serious I get with any one of them, because monogamy fucking sucks once the honeymoon period wears off.”

These were corrections. They were not overcorrections.

Shortly after proclaiming these things, I mapped out the OLTR Marriage model on my blogs way back in 2012, many years before I met my current wife, Pink Firefly. I described how, at some point down the road, I would eventually settle down with one special woman again in a marriage-like relationship but without me being monogamous and without having any of my money threatened no matter what happened.

See how different this is than angrily saying “I WILL NEVER GET MARRIED AGAIN!!!”? And then a few years later looking like an idiot when you get married again?

Most of you already know how my story ended up. Several years after 2012 I met Pink Firefly and I started seeing her as an FB. We hit it off, so over a slow, careful period of several years, I upgraded her to MLTR, upgraded her again to OLTR, and then married her under the OLTR Marriage model, we’re still together almost ten years later with minimal drama, I have sex with other women whenever I want, and she would get zero of my money if we ever broke up unless I voluntarily chose to give it to her.

All because I corrected instead of overcorrecting. I remained rational and strategic and didn’t let my stupid emotions get the better of me. Most importantly, I thought long-term instead of thinking about only what I wanted at the moment.

Here’s another example of overcorrection, common in the PUA world and reasonably common in the red pill world. If you’ve been a part of those communities for a while then you’ve seen what I’m about to describe many times over the past 20 years or so.

A young beta male who is a total nerd, never gets laid, and gets made fun of or bullied at school finds a bunch PUA/red pill material and actually starts practicing it in the real world. Over time, he starts getting good at this stuff and getting laid.

Suddenly he feels like Superman, so he overcorrects. He spends his entire life focusing on banging dozens if not hundreds of girls, perhaps even traveling all over the world to so do. He spends 5, 10, and perhaps even 15 years doing pretty much nothing but having sex with lots of women, with no other relationship plans for the future.

Then, as so often happens, he hits age 35 or so, the modern-day mid-life crisis age for pickup artists and Alpha Males, then suddenly feels terrible at all of the frivolous sex he’s had for so long and feels like an idiot that he’s not married, doesn’t have any kids yet, doesn’t have a religion, and/or whatever.

So he leaps into some kind of serious monogamous relationship or marriage, and of course, it blows up in his face a year or two later. He keeps doing this, over and over again, one dysfunctional, explosive monogamous or semi-monogamous relationship after the next, never seeming to get it together. (I could name at least ten different well-known guys right off the top of my head who did this and many of you could too.)

This is all because back in his 20s when he started getting good at seducing women, he completely overcorrected from his near-virgin nerd status. If he instead had sat down and planned out his life a little more rationally then he would never have experienced a disastrous 30s and 40s.

Imagine if that 26-year-old pickup artist had instead said something like, “Okay, I’m going to have FBs and one-night-stands for the next seven years or so to have fun and get that shit out of my system, then I’m going to have MLTRs for about 5 years after that, then when I’m in my late 30s I’ll look for a woman to settle down with as an OLTR and have two kids.” Even if he has to change his plans a few times, that guy is going to live a great life! (This was similar to what I said to myself after my divorce at age 35. That’s why things worked out so well for me.)

There are so many other examples of overcorrection with men and women today:

• Lesbian teenage girls overcorrecting by turning into boys and becoming transgender instead of just being happy lesbians.
• Men who live a frivolous life for many years overcorrecting and suddenly becoming extreme Christians or Muslims.
• Women in their 30s, after having a few bad dating/relationship experiences with men (much of which were her fault), suddenly overcorrecting and assuming that pretty much all men are pigs or assholes.
• Men who get out of a divorce after a long, brutal marriage with an older, uglier wife who overcorrect and immediately get a serious girlfriend (sometimes even moving in with her) who is only 18 or 19 years old.
• Women who delay having kids for decades because they don’t plan ahead and want to be independent, and suddenly overcorrect when they’re in their mid to late 40s and quickly cranking out two or three babies as a middle-aged woman.
• Men sick of Western women overcorrecting by flying to some non-Western country and marrying a woman there, only to have all the same problems (if not worse).

As always, rationality and self-awareness are what prevent these kinds of overcorrection problems.

Always try to think long-term. Yeah, you know what you want right now, but what will you want in 35 years? Will it be exactly the same as what you want now? Probably not.

Always avoid skewing to massive extremes (and remember, monogamy to one woman you expect to last 40+ years is one example of an “extreme”). Always, always calm the fuck down and think and plan instead of just reacting emotionally. Be proactive, not reactive.

Never try to force bullshit Societal Programming down your own throat just because you feel needy, lonely, or guilty. I’ve seen several men convert to extreme Christianity or Islam but while they were doing it they were wrestling with their rationality. It was hilarious to watch. “Man, this stuff in the Bible sounds like total bullshit, but crap, I have to be a good person who loves Jesus and loves God, so I have to start believing it! Grrrr… I guess I’ll try…”

Always be honest about who you are and who you are not. For example, I’ve always known I would never be long-term happy in a monogamous relationship, yet millions of other men also know this about themselves and get monogamous anyway. They’re lying to themselves. And to their girlfriends/wives. Not cool.

Correction. Not overcorrection.