Reading Time – 5 minutes

Years ago when I was new at all this dating stuff, I was out on a date with an over-33 woman. We were having lunch at a restaurant.

NOTE: DO NOT take a woman out to a lunch date before you’ve had sex with her twice! I was new to this back then and didn’t know this yet!

It was the second date and we were discussing relationship stuff.

I, very stupidly, told her about an example I’ve used on my blogs before.

Note: DO NOT say to a woman on a date what I’m about to say. I was an dumbass back then and didn’t know any better.

I, again very stupidly, said the following (which you should NOT say to a woman on a date!):

“The problem is that when two people get into a relationship or start ‘dating,’ the very first thing they do has hand the other person a figurative piece of paper and say ‘Okay, now that we’re dating / having sex / in a relationship, here are my list of rules that you need to start following, and if violate any rules on this list, I’m going to get upset, give you drama, and we’re going to argue.’ Then they receive a list of rules from the other person who says the same thing to them.”

Then she looked at me and said, with 100% seriousness and no irony, “Well, yeah. That’s exactly what I want.”

I immediately checked my watch and wrapped up that lunch as fast as I could.

That was, of course, the last time I ever saw her. Thank god.

That was about 16-17 years ago… what kind of relationship (if any) do you think she has right now?

How happy do you think this woman is right now, 16 years later?

Lest you think I’m beating up on women here, let’s flip this and look at a masculine example, because men are just as bad.

Can you imagine Andrew Tate letting any of his women do whatever they want, like I do with my women?

You probably just laughed out loud at that statement, even if you like Andrew Tate.

Now ask yourself this: Do you think all of Andrew’s women do exactly what he instructs at all times? Or do they sometimes break his rules?

How do you think Andrew Tate reacts when one of his women breaks his rules?

How do you think that woman above reacts when her boyfriend or guy she dates breaks one of her rules?

You already know the answer.

Now, how do you think I react when one of my women breaks one of my rules?

Oh wait… I don’t have any rules for my women. They can do whatever they want.

So that means I never need to react.

And just stay happy forever.

Now I know some of you are going to point out the very rare exception to the rule where sometimes you might have to put one or two rules on a serious OLTR or OLTR wife, maybe.

But Pink Firefly and I have been together for over 10 years… how many rules do you think I’ve given her in that entire time?

I think maybe one or two?

How many times do you think Pink Firefly has violated those rules?

I honestly can’t remember when she did, or even if she did. I don’t remember arguing about that with her, EVER.

And again, let’s say she did violate one of those rules. How do you think I would react?

(The answer is that I would probably barely give a shit, quickly tell her to not do that again, and then smile and move on.)

So that’s two rules you can 100% rely upon regarding human behavior:

1. The more rules a person has regarding their dating partner/girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse’s behavior, the more likely this person is to violate one of those rules.

2. More importantly, the more rules a person has regarding their dating partner/girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse’s behavior, the more likely they are to get angry at that person when (not if) that person violates those rules. Because the personality of someone who places a lot of rules on someone else is the same type of personality that gets fucking pissed off when any of those rules are broken.

Women who are Dominants, men who are Alpha Male 1.0s, and even some more confident beta males will assign as many rules as they can to any new dating or sexual partner, and do so as fast as they can.

And then, of course, their partners will eventually violate those rules, and then these people will lose their shit and scream and yell and have a huge argument until the other person apologizes and/or promises to never do it again (which is a lie, because they probably will do it again; that’s how humans work).

But that’s not the most interesting part.

The most interesting part to all of this is that if you explain this to these Dominant women and Alpha Male 1.0s, they’ll respond, “So what?”

They will actually be confused that you’re even bringing this up as a problem.

I promise you, there are some Dominant women and Alpha Male 1.0s (or beta males who want to be Alpha 1.0s) who are reading this right this minute who are either very confused as to why I’m writing about this or are thinking that I’m some kind of idiot for believing any of this is any kind of problem. (And if that’s you, then congrats, you know who you are.)

“Of course I’ll set my partner straight and lay down the law if they don’t do what they’re told / don’t do what they promised / don’t respect me / don’t treat me like I deserve to be treated / <insert other Dominant/Alpha 1.0 excuse here>. I’m a man/woman and I deserve respect, and anyone who dates me / is married to me better man-up / be a proper woman.”

Notice that happiness is nowhere in there. It’s not even on the agenda. Only control is. And as I’ve pointed out perhaps hundreds of times, control = drama.

BUT, these kinds of people don’t view drama in this context as a bad thing. Indeed, many think it’s a good thing.

“You’re god damn right I yelled at her for X!”

“Of course I screamed at him for doing Y!”

…they proudly proclaim.

When guys like me talk about happiness, about just letting people do whatever the hell they want so you can be long-term happy, these people look at me like I’m speaking another language.

Control or long-term happiness, you can’t have both, so you have to choose one. And these people choose control every time.

(Now because I know the excuse is coming, of course “letting people do whatever the hell they want” does not mean letting people steal your stuff, physically assault you, give you STDs (wear a condom you dumbass), threaten your health or your children, or any other violation of human basics. Duh. When I say no rules, you know what I’m talking about; don’t play dumb with me.)

Instead, I choose happiness, which means I had to learn to give up control over my female partners, even if one became my wife, a very long time ago.

It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

The world would be a much happier place if the vast majority of humans just let their dating/marriage/sexual partners do what they want and instead focus on their own lives.

Happiness, making money, fitness, spirituality, seeking fulfillment, having/raising kids, navigating Western civilizational collapse, these things are difficult and time-consuming enough without having to give other adults any rules.

These things all become 10X harder if you’re constantly focused on what your sexual partners are doing.

That’s why when I see these Dominant women or Alpha 1.0s ranting and screaming (on the internet and in real life) I just laugh. You’re making things 10X harder than they need to be. And again, I know you probably don’t even care.

But think about this for yourself.

Happiness or control.

Choose wisely.