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When in a new non-monogamous relationship (FB or MLTR) before you ever “define” anything, you’ll move through a three-to-five-month implicit phase where your behavior sets expectations (the Implicit Phase). The nine rules below are what make that phase work. Miss even a couple, and your odds of success fall off a cliff. Do all nine—yes, all—and the rest of the system clicks.

These aren’t difficult skills; they’re emotionally inconvenient. Follow them anyway. If your goal is long-term, low-drama non-monogamy, this is the price of admission.

1. Scarcity sustains attraction. If you’re building a multi-woman dating life, your calendar needs space. More importantly, overexposure flattens excitement. When seeing you is a weekly event, she looks forward to it; when it’s four nights a week, it becomes routine and her attraction slides. Once a week keeps things vivid, sustainable, and clean when you later make things explicit.

2. She should be contacting you more than you contact her. Initiation from your side stays minimal—typically a single weekly message to line up plans. Reply when she reaches out, but skip the daily check-ins and dopamine drips. Over-texting reads as neediness and dulls anticipation.

3. After sex, she should feel unmistakably cared for in bed. You don’t need graphic techniques here; you do need intent, patience, and consistency. Become the rare man who reliably ensures she finishes (or, for women who struggle with orgasm, that she still feels thoroughly satisfied). When the relationship later tests its boundaries, this memory bank of great experiences pays dividends.

4. Lying doesn’t prevent drama; it multiplies and delays If she fishes for exclusivity during the implicit phase, you don’t have to give a full briefing—but you also don’t fake monogamy. Keep answers brief, calm, and honest enough to avoid future explosions. The fuller conversation— the Talk—comes later. Until then, no lies.

5. Skip labels, rules, and status talks in the first three to five months. This is on purpose. Labeling too early drags you into a monogamy frame you don’t intend to inhabit. Keep things light, warm, and consistent; let actions set expectations until it’s time for the Talk.

6. Ask yourself before you do something: Is this something only a boyfriend would do? If yes, don’t do it (yet). Giant Valentine’s productions, extravagant gifts, constant planning of her week—these are monogamy signals. You’re not auditioning for that role. You can always layer in bigger gestures after the structure is established.

7. Non-monogamy is a behavior, not a theory. If you’ve slept with zero or one woman in the last few months, you’re effectively monogamous—with all the expectations that invites. Keep a real second connection (it doesn’t have to be twelve). This protects the frame and keeps your behavior aligned with your intentions.

8. Travel amplifies emotion, logistics, and expectations. Save overnights in other cities, long weekends, and “our first getaway” for after the Talk. In the implicit phase, trips are a drama multiplier. Don’t light that fuse.

9. Introductions to parents, siblings, and best friends are powerful social signals. During the first three to five months, they also confuse the frame. Keep your worlds separate for now; you can cross the streams later, when the ground rules are explicit.

• No ongoing dates. Aside from the initial meet-ups to establish comfort, you don’t take FBs on regular date nights. That’s how FB arrangements morph into girlfriend dynamics.
• No overnights. Stay late if you like, then someone goes home. Overnights blur lines and invite expectations you’re not setting yet.

Why these rules work

Every rule above either protects attraction, prevents premature monogamy cues, or keeps your behavior aligned with the non-monogamous model you’re building. The combination makes the implicit phase smooth and lays the runway for the Talk in the next stage. Skip them, and you end up negotiating from a weak, wishy-washy place—usually after an avoidable blow-up.

Write the rules down. Keep them visible. Run the system exactly as described for three to five months and notice what happens: calmer weeks, higher attraction, fewer pressure conversations, and a far better outcome when you finally make everything explicit.

Next up: the Talk—how to articulate the structure clearly so she knows what you’re doing (which she likely already suspects), and why many women will accept it when presented the right way.

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AI did NOT write this article. The article comes 100% from me and is 100% my content. However, AI was used to transcribe this content from some of my other social media which is why the voice is a little different. It’s still 100% my content and not written by AI. AI will never “write” my content!  Remember that you can always go to calebjonesblog.com and subscribe to my Substack if you want articles physically written by me with no AI involvement whatsoever.