Reading Time – 4 minutes

Many years ago, during my days as a pick-up artist, I spent a considerable amount of time interacting with hundreds of men on online PUA forums.

I would semi-regularly get guys who complained that they hadn’t had sex in a long time, as in two years, three years, or even more.

They would bitch and moan about how they weren’t getting laid and how it had been so long and blah blah blah beta male bullshit.

I would tell them, “You don’t care that much about having sex. That’s why it’s been so long for you.”

They would always respond, “WTF bro?!? Yes I do!” and then complain some more.

And I would then respond, “No, you actually don’t. Having sex isn’t that important to you. That’s why it’s been three years. If actually having sex with a woman was a priority to you, you would have done it already, no matter what it took to do so (and it’s not even that hard). You would never have waited anywhere near this long.”

(I mean, shit, I can’t go more than 1-2 weeks without sex without feeling some very real pain in my soul.)

You know what they would then say?

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I don’t really care about sex that much.”

Bingo.

I remember at least three different guys going through this exact conversation. It was so predictable.

I once knew this woman who was married to this dreadful, extreme Alpha Male 1.0 who would dominate every aspect of her life.

He would constantly check up on her 24/7, always blowing up her phone.

She wasn’t allowed to spend any money, so every time she went to the grocery store to buy food for the family, he would give her a certain amount of cash, then when she returned he would demand all the change, check the receipt, count the change, and if even ten cents were missing he’d scream at her.

He also had an affair with her sister and an 18-year-old intern at work.

Unsurprisingly, she would constantly complain about this guy. She even left him once, only to go back to him after a few months.

When she was bitching about him again one day I said to her, “You like it. You like it that he runs every aspect of your life and treats you like a child.”

And of course she said, “No I don’t! I hate it!!!”

“Yes you do,” I said, “If you really didn’t like it, you would have left him many, many years ago and never gone back. And today you’d either be single or be with a man who treats you nicely.”

After thinking about it, she said, “Yeah… I guess you’re right.”

Way back when I was a teenager a very wise old man I knew told me, “Sometimes in life we WANT our problems.”

As a 16-year-old kid I didn’t understand that back then.

Today, I not only understand it, but now I can improve upon his statement to make it more accurate:

You WANT any RECURRING problem you have in your life.

If you have some big, unusual problem that pops up in your life, that’s different.

If your wife suddenly leaves you, if you suddenly get into a horrible car accident, or if one of your biggest clients suddenly fires you, I agree you didn’t want that problem (even though they were all probably your fault). But that’s not the kind of problem I’m talking about.

I’m talking about the kind of problem that lingers around in your life for a very long time, usually years.

I don’t care how much you hate it, complain about it, or how much pain it causes you; you WANT that problem.

There are many possible examples of this, including but not limited to:

• Staying in a really bad relationship with a total bitch.
• Never starting your Alpha 2.0 business even though you really want to.
• Being addicted to negative news and politics that makes you upset.
• Being overweight or underweight for many years.
• Not getting laid for a long time.
• Staying in a collapsing Western country you hate, using all the usual bullshit beta male excuses.
• Staying a virgin for a long time (as in well past age 18).
• Putting up with a really toxic family member for a long time.
• And so on.

Not only are these kinds of problems your fault, but you actually want them.

Yes, I’m serious: you want this problem to stay in your life, and you don’t want it fixed.

It’s become part of your identity, part your story, part of your habit pattern, and a deeply-embedded part of your psychology (and in some cases, your physiology as well).

Resolving that problem, permanently removing your problem from your life so you can be happy… that’s terrifying to you and/or your subconscious.

For example, actually getting off your ass, doing some niche research, choosing a niche for your new business (even though it could be the wrong niche), developing an offer and a price point for it (even if the offer and/or price might be wrong), and going out to market/sell it to the niche (even though you might be terrified about doing such a thing), to get your location-independent income and set yourself free from your 9-5 corporate job and your collapsing Western country and make a shitload more money…

…I mean, that is so daunting, terrifying, unknown, and uncomfortable to your little pussified beta male LISG brain that even though you constantly complain about how you don’t have your Alpha 2.0 business yet and how unhappy that makes you, you never really get started and just go back to your 9-5 job and complain about it all day like everyone else does.

That’s because you don’t want your own business. You want your shitty 9-5 job that you hate.

You want the ongoing problem because that ongoing problem is what makes you comfortable.

Not happy. Comfortable.

You can be comfortable without being happy.

Shit, you can be comfortable and miserable at the same time. That describes most of today’s collapsing Western middle-class (and a hell of a lot of today’s Western poor people too).

The only way to resolve an ongoing problem, that you want, is to:

1. Do what is necessary to kill your current self and replace him with your true self, as I’ve already talked about several times at my blogs and podcasts. This takes time, effort, and even some raw willpower (at least for a while).

2. Make the decision that the pain of the transition out of the problem (and there will be pain!) is worth preventing the ongoing pain of the rest of your life, plus a life full of regret.

It really is that simple.

Not easy.

But simple.

Stop wanting your problems.