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While there is no official definition, in red pill and similar teachings, a “high value man” typically refers to a man who:

• Has high income/financial success and independence
• Is physically fit and well-groomed
• Possesses confidence, assertiveness, and leadership traits
• Is emotionally controlled and non-needy
• Lives a purpose-driven life with clear goals
• Commands respect from peers and women
• Constantly improves himself mentally, physically, and financially
• Values his time and doesn’t chase validation or approval

According to those who teach these ideas, the concept of the high value man is rooted in evolutionary psychology, social dynamics, and male self-improvement. These traits, they say, are required to be successful with attractive women.

And it’s all complete bullshit.

A few quick facts, all of which I’ve discussed before in great detail:

1. I have personally known (not guys I’ve heard about, but personally known) pick-up artist type guys who were not ripped, not good-looking, fucking homeless, yes homeless, who slept on their friend’s couches, who had sex with lots of cute girls, and I know this because the girls told me, not the guys. And some of these guys were total drama queens (a personality trait unfortunately common among PUAs).

Were these guys high value based on the above definition?

Were they even close?

2. I have personally known homeless and near-homeless black guys who were not ripped who had sex with hot white girls. And again, I confirmed this.

Were these guys high value?

3. I have personally known multiple average-looking men in their 50s who were not ripped, not millionaires, who definitely looked their age, get girlfriends as young as age 25 without paying them (not sugar daddy).

Were these guys high value?

4. Many years ago while I was living in an apartment with no furniture and no bed (going through a divorce), driving an eight-year-old Nissan, while I was overweight, balding, and had a huge gap in my front two teeth, I was having sex with so many women in their late teens and early twenties as man in his late thirties/early forties without paying for it (not sugar daddy) that I had real trouble scheduling them all in a typical week.

Was I high value?

You might answer, “Well yes Caleb, you were high value, because you were older, and older men have higher value,” or something like that.

But wait a minute. Just being older with no other attractive qualities is not the internet/red pill definition of high value man. It’s not even fucking close!

I just gave you the list above. Being a “high value man” means you are ripped and fit and high-income and confident and non-needy and has a Mission in life and consistently improves himself and bunch of other shit.

Yet myself and bazillions of other men I’ve known over the past 18 years have had sex and relationships with attractive (and often much younger) women, and without paying them, without having any of those things (or at best, having maybe one of those things).

On top of that, as I’ve been saying for about 15 years online at my blogs and in my books, you should never, ever, EVER focus on things like being rich or ripped because of girls.

Dude. Who gives a fuck what girls want?

Think about it. Girls (generally) want things like monogamy, cash, submission, traditional marriage, socialism, alimony, Hillary Clinton, little foofy dogs, and a bunch of other crap I want nothing to do with.

I don’t give a shit what women want and I haven’t for at least 20 years now.

And you shouldn’t either.

If you want those “high value man” traits listed above, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting those things, then great, but want them for YOURSELF, not some future hypothetical cute girl who might like you because you drive a cool car or can flex your pecks like Hulk Hogan.

Jesus fuck!

It’s for all of these reasons that whenever I see a man in my audience asking me how to be a high value man, a little part of me dies.

1. You don’t need to be a high value man to be sexually successful.

and

2. Trying to be fit, rich, or confident just because you want to get laid is pathetic and beta as fuck. It places the motivation and emphasis on all the wrong areas.

And I say all of this as a high value man! I qualify for pretty much all of the “high value man” requirements listed above.

I’m very young and decent looking for my age (53), not ripped but extremely healthy, strong, and high-energy, I make and have a lot of money, I’m confident, outcome independent, non-needy, I constantly improve myself, I value my time, and blah blah blah blah.

But as those of you who have been following my content for a long time already know, I was getting laid a lot with attractive younger women without paying for it before I had any of that stuff.

(Other than maybe the high income, but there was a period during 2007-2010 where I didn’t even have that due to my divorce at the time, and I was still getting laid left and right.)

Now, as I’ve made clear perhaps 10,000 times, does being a “high value man” and/or having high SMV help with getting laid with hot women?

Of course it does! Duh. Yes, it helps. It would be silly to say otherwise.

But is being a “high value man” required to score with attractive women?

No! It fucking doesn’t!

I know it bothers some of you when I say this, and I know that conflicts with today’s red pill/Instagram culture, but I’m factually, objectively correct about this.

It isn’t required, and I’ve seen bazillions of cases (including with me) where it wasn’t.

Does that mean you shouldn’t bother to be the red pill definition of a high value man?

Obviously I don’t believe that either, because I took the time and effort (a lot of time and effort, and money as well) to become a high value man myself.

But I never did it to get laid. That was never my motivation. Even back when I was a young beta male in my twenties.

I wanted a lot of money so I could be free. I knew being poor would keep me a slave, as well as being stuck to a 9-5 job, so I needed money to set me free. For fuck’s sake, it had nothing to do with women!

I wanted to build my confidence and outcome independence so I could be happy. I realized by my mid-twenties that being unsure, reactive, and needy made me miserable. I didn’t want to be miserable. Women and dating had nothing to do with it.

In the last 2-3 years, I’ve lost a lot of weight, hit the gym hard, completely changed my eating habits, and engaged in a rigorous daily stretching routine. Though I’m not done yet, I have truly transformed how my body looks, moves, and feels, but I did this so I could have a higher quality of life in my old age and live a long time. It had nothing to do with women at all, since I was already getting laid with super-hot women when I was more chubby and had stiff muscles and joints.

Are you getting the point here?

Either don’t bother to be a high value man, or pursue it but only for your own selfish reasons that have nothing to do with chicks!

This is just my personal opinion, but there is nothing more pathetic to me than a guy who works on a business to make a million dollars or hits the gym six times a week just because he wants hot girls.

Really? That’s your big goal? Pussy?

Especially considering you don’t even need a million dollars or a six-pack to have sex with really hot girls?

This high value man bullshit is all ass-backwards.

Keep this in mind next time the next red pill or similar guy talks about being a “high value man,” because you’re going to keep hearing it a lot.

Unfortunately.