Reading Time – 3 minutes

Many years ago, I was watching a political discussion on a left-wing YouTube channel. Two commentators were arguing about divorce laws in California, specifically how a man can be required to pay lifetime alimony if a marriage lasts more than ten years—even if the divorce was entirely the woman’s fault and even if there are no children involved. One of the men kept saying how insane and unfair the law was. The other kept repeating the same response: “But that’s the law. That’s just how it is.”

That conversation perfectly illustrates a psychological error most people make without ever realizing it. It’s called the naturalistic fallacy, sometimes closely related to the bandwagon fallacy. The idea is simple: because something is common, normal, or widely accepted, people assume it must be logical, fair, or correct.

But “that’s how it is” is not an argument. It’s an excuse.

When you grow up surrounded by a system, you stop questioning it. You assume that if millions of people accept something, then it must make sense. In reality, many systems persist not because they are rational, but because people are conditioned to accept them without challenge.

Take taxes as an example. Most people in Western countries lose anywhere from 50 to 70 percent of their income through visible and hidden taxes. Income tax. Sales tax. Property tax. Fuel tax. Inflation. Payroll deductions. Most people shrug and say, “That’s just how it works.” But the fact that something is widespread does not make it reasonable. It only means it’s familiar.

Or consider caffeine. Entire societies depend on a daily addictive stimulant just to tolerate jobs they don’t enjoy. People drink it every morning, experience withdrawal without it, and structure their entire routine around it. Because everyone does it, no one questions whether that dependency is healthy or necessary.

The same logic applies to many behaviors that people defend reflexively. Marijuana is another example. The argument often isn’t that it’s good for you, but that “everyone does it,” so it must be fine. Popularity replaces reasoning.

Nowhere is this thinking more dangerous than in relationships.

Most people grow up believing monogamy is the only legitimate model. You meet one person, sign a government contract, promise lifelong sexual exclusivity, and accept massive legal and financial risk if it fails. People rarely stop to ask whether this arrangement makes sense in modern society. They accept it because it’s normal. Because their parents did it. Because movies portray it. Because religion or culture reinforces it.

But normal does not mean rational.

When you examine modern divorce statistics, infidelity rates, family court outcomes, and long-term relationship satisfaction, the cracks are obvious. Yet people continue to defend the system, not because it works well, but because it’s familiar. It’s what they know.

This is why so many men stay stuck. They confuse cultural acceptance with personal benefit. They confuse tradition with logic. They confuse repetition with truth.

Most of what surrounds you in a declining society is not optimized for your happiness, freedom, or long-term stability. It’s optimized for control, predictability, and institutional convenience. The fact that something is common does not mean it serves you.

One of the most powerful ideas ever expressed on this topic came from J. Paul Getty, one of the wealthiest self-made men in history. When asked how someone could become rich, his answer was simple: observe what the masses do—and do something different.

That principle applies far beyond money. It applies to careers, relationships, lifestyle design, and personal freedom.

If you blindly follow what “normal” people do, you will get normal results. And in the modern Western world, normal results increasingly mean stress, dissatisfaction, financial vulnerability, and limited autonomy.

The first step toward real freedom is learning to question assumptions you’ve never examined. Just because something is common does not mean it’s good. Just because it’s traditional does not mean it’s wise. And just because “that’s how it is” does not mean you have to accept it.

Once you understand that, you stop living on autopilot—and you start making deliberate choices instead.

AI did NOT write this article. The article comes 100% from me and is 100% my content. However, AI was used to transcribe this content from some of my other social media which is why the voice is a little different. It’s still 100% my content and not written by AI. AI will never “write” my content!  Remember that you can always go to calebjonesblog.com and subscribe to my Substack if you want articles physically written by me with no AI involvement whatsoever.