Tom Cruise Divorce

-By Caleb Jones

This divorce was completely predictable yadda yadda yadda, Tom Cruise is a psychopath yadda yadda yadda, monogamy doesn’t work yadda yadda yadda, women are stupid to expect eternal monogamy from Alpha males yadda yadda yadda. You’ve heard that all before from me (the Ashton Kutcher divorce is my personal favorite so far) and I don’t need to repeat it.

If you didn’t already know, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting a divorce. As is usually the case (82% of the time to be exact), the woman initiated the divorce. Katie is also seeking sole custody of their child, which is bound to create a huge legal battle with Tom, who is an off-the-chart Needy Alpha and complete drama queen.

A few points about this:

Point One. Notice Katie’s age. It’s 33. What have I been saying for years about women who turn 33? How much more evidence do you need? When the modern-day woman hits age 33, a very dangerous transformation has completed. Men need to beware.

Point Two. Want more proof? Check out this article right here. It describes how ALL of Tom Cruise’s marriages have ended when the wife turned 33. Read that article and see how the media is “baffled” by this magical age. Maybe the media should read my stuff so they can figure out something I discovered, largely on accident, many years ago.

I don’t mean to put all of this on the women of course, that’s because…

Point Three. Tom Cruise follows what I have called the “Tom Cruise model” or the “Donald Trump model”, though many other men I could name use this model regularly. Here’s how it works:

1. Marry some hot young chick.

2. Make her sign a prenup. To calm her down, ensure that in the prenup she does get something if there is a divorce.

3. Regardless of how many kids you already have or how old they are, crank out another baby or two with the new young wife to keep her passive and satisfy her biological urges.

4. Cheat on her. Often.

5. Be a Needy Alpha and clamp down on her life like she’s a child. Be very, very possessive and jealous. (The Needy Alpha in a nutshell.)

6. Throw lots of cash at her to shut her up when she complains too much.

7. Five to ten years later, when she starts getting older, bitchier, and more demanding (cough-age-33-cough), divorce her.

8. Have a big, drama-filled, expensive, contentious divorce with lots of hatred, fighting, and resentment. Fuck up your kids really, really good.

9. Wait about a year, then immediately marry another hot young chick.

10. Repeat the entire above process over again. Over the course of your life, do this many times with many different women.

11. End up like men such as Larry King (with eight or nine past marriages) and Eddie Murphy (with eight or nine kids from various women).

And that’s the Tom Cruise model. It’s a model for high-income Needy Alphas. Lots of ups and downs, huge extreme wonderful NRE (that we all saw when Tom was jumping on Oprah’s couch) and terrible dark destructive anger when (not if) the relationship fails…which both the man and woman ensured would happen from the very beginning by how they structured the relationship.

It sucks. There are so many better ways to do it.

Point Four. Even very submissive women eventually melt down and turn the guns back on you when you clamp the screws down on them for too long. Tom’s (dysfunctional) version of an open marriage was his famous “Don’t Ask Rule” with Katie. Basally, once he handcuffed her to the kitchen sink, he would suddenly leave for up to a week at a time. Once he returned, she was not allowed to ask him where he had been.

Many men who are in the pickup / seduction / open relationship realm have this fantasy of THEM being able to fuck other people, but their WIFE not being allowed to. This divorce is yet another example of something I’ve been saying forever, and that is, modern-day women won’t put up with that shit forever. For a while, yes. Forever, no. For a while Katie was the good sweet little smiling submissive wife who obeyed orders from her Needy Alpha husband.

Eventually though, she snapped, filing for divorce in a very clever way (by filing in New York instead of California she avoided a lot of taxes) and going after full custody of their child, forcing Tom on the defensive. And of course, since Katie is a woman, she will either get her way or mostly get her way. That’s how the legal system works.

No woman is going to put up with being a slave forever. No matter how submissive she is, no matter how much she loves you, if rule her life with an iron fist while you’re out getting laid and she isn’t, eventually the claws will come out, and you’re going to pay the price. (Usually a legal and financial price, since the family court system is designed to protect and benefit women, not dudes.)

Since women aren’t going to tolerate you fucking other people while they can’t, and since long-term monogamy doesn’t work, your only remaining long-term, low-drama option is to have an open relationship or marriage where you fuck other women and she can fuck other men if she wants. I’m going to write an entire post about that one point soon, but this silly divorce is yet another example of what happens when Needy Alphas attempt a polyGAMOUS-type arrangement rather than a polyAMOROUS one.

Poor needy Tom. Oh well. Don’t worry too much. Give him about two years and he’ll be married to the next young delusional chick so he can do this all over again.

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9 Comments
  • Reagan
    Posted at 11:39 pm, 6th July 2012

    About point three, how do you know about their internal issues? I mean how do you know Tom Cruise put a lock on Holmes’ pussy?

  • M
    Posted at 01:19 pm, 7th July 2012

    I don’t understand, and I’m on TC’s side from what I’ve read. He’s got fame and power and he should be able to bang other chicks while keeping Katie devoted to him. You already know men bang girls and detach the emotional aspect, it is much hardr for women to do this. That’s most likely why Tom flips out and won’t let her stray. Hell, if I was in Top Gun I’d act the same way…

  • Kevin Velasco
    Posted at 01:23 am, 8th July 2012

    I recently read an article saying how women biologically get a “second wind” some time in their 30’s and want to be free again. I think that’s more evidence of what you talk about!

  • Caleb Jones
    Posted at 09:37 am, 8th July 2012

    @ Reagan – There’s been nonstop articles in the media over the last several years about how oddly domineering Tom has been with Katie. Controlling who she can hang out with, what movies she’s allowed to star in, how she behaves in when filming those movies, not letting her picture be taken with any other men even for promotional purposes, not letting her fly in airplanes with other men she knows, etc. Just Google things “Tom Cruise marriage” or “Tom Cruse Katie Holmes” or “Tom Cruise weird” and you’ll see what I mean.

    Could 100% of these sources all be lying or exaggerating? Sure. But there’s too much smoke in that kitchen for there to be no fire.

    @ M – My point is you’re more than welcome to act like a jealous Needy Alpha all you like, as long as you’re willing to suffer the eventual consequences of being such, such as bad breakups, ugly divorces, drama, fighting, getting your kids taken away from you, having everyone think you’re psycho, etc. I much prefer being an Alpha who is not needy and therefore lives a happy life without all of these problems.

  • AnotherDragon
    Posted at 04:44 am, 23rd July 2012

    Not necessarily related to this topic, but I thought you’d like this meme kicking monogamy in the ass:

  • Caleb Jones
    Posted at 11:16 am, 23rd July 2012

    Just put it on my Facebook page. Classic.

  • Kevlar Waterfall
    Posted at 12:45 pm, 15th June 2016
  • Caleb Jones
    Posted at 02:01 pm, 15th June 2016

    Of course he will. He’ll get getting married and divorced for the rest of his life, like Larry King did.

  • cesar morales
    Posted at 08:58 am, 24th March 2017

    Celebrities do not mind divorce how many times for them is already a normal thing in their daily life

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