Slut Shaming
(Thanks to R.S. in the SMIC program for showing me this video.)
This young lady is Jenna Marbles, a popular YouTube personality. I like Jenna. She’s spunky and is actually somewhat talented. However on the issue of sex, she’s as full of ASD as any other societally-programmed woman.
She’s not an idiot though. Like many women (and men), she arrives at her “casual sex is bad” stance from several points that are actually quite valid. This is exactly how ASD in the modern age has become so insidious.
Back in the old days, ASD was purely formed from a bunch of religious bullshit. It had no foundation in fact. It was just a bunch of Needy Alpha hellfire and brimstone to ensure dude’s wives wouldn’t fuck other guys and to ensure guys could fuck virgins. It was all crap.
Today, people cloak ASD around some reasons that, on their face, actually sound pretty good. For example, in the above video, Jenna makes some points that make perfect sense.
Women having unprotected sex is bad because they might get STD’s. I agree.
Women shouldn’t go home with guys they just met because it’s a threat to their safety, especially when they’re drunk. I agree.
Women are stupid if they don’t consider blowjobs or anal sex as sex. I agree.
Women are stupid when they get knocked up on accident. I more than agree. (However notice, as I pointed out in that link, that Jenna is nice to these women by buying them baby gifts, thus giving these women the attention they crave and ensuring more women go out and get pregnant to garner more attention from women “just being nice” like Jenna.)
All good points. But then she suddenly bends logic into a pretzel, like so many people do out there, and says that having sex with a lot of people is bad.
Why? What to any of those things have to do with having sex with more than one person?
Worse, she ends the video by doing a huge leap in irrationality and saying that monogamy is an expression of logic and reasoning. (BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!) I think it would amaze her to realize that it’s actually quite the opposite. People get monogamous because of raging emotions, chemicals in the brain, EFA, fear, neediness, and societal programming. People who resist monogamy are the rational ones.
People in society do exactly what Jenna has done here. They use the oddball logic of:
“Going home with a guy you just met is unsafe, therefore fucking lots of guys is bad.”
Huh?
No, what’s bad is going home with a guy you just met while you’re drunk and risking your safety. That’s bad. The act of fucking a lot of guys isn’t bad at all, as long as you do it responsibly. I fuck a lot of women all the time, yet I just got my last STD test results in and I’m clean, and I’ve never gotten a woman pregnant on accident in my entire life. How is this possible?
Because I fuck a lot of people in a very responsible, adult manner. It can be done if you choose to be adult about it. The problem, as I’ve said so many times, is people who fuck a lot of people and aren’t adult about it.
Let me give you an example of the oddball thinking I’m talking about. Let’s say there’s a woman who fucks six different guys in ten days. Is this woman a “slut”? The kneejerk, societally-programmed reaction of your brain was probably an instant “yes” to that question.
Now let me flesh out the story a little (pun intended). Let’s say that she knew all six men very well, none of the guys have any history of violence, drug use, or any other dangerous behavior, all six guys used a condom on her (correctly), she was 100% sober while she had sex with these men, she is not clinically depressed, bi-polar, or anything like that, and she gets regular STD tests twice a year.
Now, is she still a slut?
If your answer is no, then congratulations. Unlike Jenna Marbles, you are thinking rationally and logically and are overcoming your societal programming. Well done.
If your answer is still yes, you are a victim, likely a willing one, of false societal programming. That’s very unfortunate. I would love to hear your reasoning why fucking a lot of guys in a responsible way (as demonstrated above) is bad, moreover worthy of an insulting name like “slut”.
There is nothing wrong with what that woman is doing in the above scenario, and calling this woman a “slut” is damaging not only to her, but to you and society at large. Society could use more women who behave that responsibly, believe me. I’d take one woman like this to live in my society over 20 women who get monogamous, have babies, then get divorced and spend the rest of their lives chasing child support, alimony, food stamps, welfare and new husbands to help them pay their bills. Society celebrates those women, but it calls women in my above example “sluts”. No wonder society is so fucked up. With “logic” like that, it sort of deserves it.
If the woman in my example is a “slut”, society needs more sluts. Way more.
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Wait? So your saying being monogamous is bad and sleeping around makes you free of societies programming?
The other faulty logic society uses is that it requires “skills” for a man to have sex with lots of women, yet women just have to “show up” to have sex with lots of men.
People forget that not only is “looking hot” a skill in itself (albeit an easier one to learn than “game”), but also– why does it even matter if it’s easy for women to get laid? “Skill” is just a red herring argument that ultimately makes no logical sense.
FYI Jenna just broke up with her BF of 4 years. (check the vid at about 5:00). yay monogamy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6CFgK8nYLA
Well, who said that people in general are smart (or not dumb) in the first place?Including this young lady. She should have just stuck to the title of her video.
@ajonespua
Do what YOU think is (works) best for you. That’s what makes you free from ANY programming.
You’re wrong, BD. This bitch IS an idiot! A major, major idiot. And a hater. Especially when she calls upon all women to “help the sluts,” which means, “cockblock men and women.”
This kinda psyched me out for a bit until I got to reading part about the girl knowing the guys she had sex with. But hey, this is the business of not judging women.
@Oxyjinn That’s a foolish mentality. To be truthfully honest, the programming lies in the illusion to believing anything contrary to actual reality.
@Jack You don’t have the “skills” to defend the cockblockers?
@ajonespua: I’m going to assume you meant to ask me if I have the skills to defend AGAINST the cockblockers. Sure, I guess. If I have to. But I’m not the kind of guy who feels he needs to do unnecessary work just to feel like a real man. If it’s necessary, that’s one thing. But making something needlessly difficult just to accomodate the closed minds of a group of haters? It’s insanity.
hey,
woman fucking 6 guys in 10 days is a slut. whatever she knows them or not.
at some point of time she will like to have guy commit and she will not disclose that number – you can be sure of that 😀
i am also after red-pill (and pua) – dont rationalize yourself – we do fuck sluts.
its not about std or pregnancy, its about woman capability to bond (oxytocin). sadly, every new sex partner decreases that capability.
its far from perfect definition, but
i like salomon’s ‘good girl number’ definition; her age / 2 -7. for 26years = 26 / 2 -7 = 5 guys max. it matches my experience
happy xmas
isn´t 13-7=6???
no wonder you suscribe to such silly notions when you can’t even do basic arithmetic operations.
I dunno about this one BD. There seems to be a pretty strong link between women slutting it up, destroying family values, and declining productivity and prosperity. As evidenced by the declining western world for the past 50 years.
Isn’t it kind of hypocritical to intend to leave to more prosperous countries where the very opposite of the message you espouse is one of the main reason that region is prosperous in the first place?
I’m just having a hard time picturing that the sexually non-judgmental utopia that you desire could be anything but an economic and social disaster!
I like Jenna Marbles too (in small doses). Some of the stuff she comes up with is surprisingly insightful.
Johnny Soporno gave what I thought was a very rational talk on society and slut shaming. According to society:
Woman who has sex with anyone she wants for no reason other than that she wants to do it = Slut
Woman who gets paid for sex = whore
Woman who enters a long term contract exchanging sex for money = wife – the only category that society considers respectable, although logically this makes her a “contract whore.”
One of his main points was that a lot of the slut shaming comes from women because women who give it away for free interfere with others’ ability to get paid for it. When those are the options society presents to women, being a man who doesn’t judge is very attractive.
@Maven5: As far as what multiple partners does to a woman’s ability to bond, I say “who cares?” If you don’t demand monogamy it’s irrelevant. If some guy settles down with her that’s his problem. My happiness is better served by women who don’t have hangups about sex.
@ajonespua – No, but I am saying that only having sex with one person at a time is a direct result of societal programming, whereas having sex with multiple people, in a responsible manner, is not.
@maven – If you have any credible scientific evidence you can link to that demonstrates every time a woman fucks a new guy her brain chemistry is permanently altered thereby making her less able to “bond” with a man, I’d be happy to take a look at it. Until then I remain very skeptical.
@Peter – I’m not sure why you think China is prosperous because it’s less slutty than U.S., especially considering things like adultery and prostitution are more accepted in most parts of China than they are here. I haven’t heard that one before. To your other point, as I’ve said many times, in a society were polyamory/open relationships is accepted, a huge percentage of the population, I’d say at least 20%-30%, would still choose monogamy anyway (and suffer the usual consequences).
“My happiness is better served by women who don’t have hangups about sex.”
@Jon
As PUA that’s my line also – i would like to have sex a lot with different pussy 🙂
But I want to marry in few years (yeah, I will be flagged on this blog) – and I don’t want my wife’s womb be rallied like highway.
And yes – I divide women in two groups: marriageable (good personality, low count) and P&D (high count). I rarely see good personality with high count, but it might be just me.
@Blackdragon
Oh, this discussion is endless…
Rossy wrote something up:
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/09/16/why-sluts-make-bad-wives/
I also believe it does – I have lived in few places and those are stats for 25-28yrs old girls I have meet:
UK/London, average sex partner count ca.15-20, divorce rate ca.60-70%
US/New York, average sex partner count ca.10-15, divorce rate ca.50%
Ireland/Dublin, average sex partner count ca.5-7, divorce rate
divorce rate ca.50%,
Poland/Krakow, average sex partner count ca.2-4, divorce rate
divorce rate ca.30%
It’s not science by any means, my probe size is not so big 😉
Another thing – why women always divide their count by at least 2-3?
I have heard it too many times (from different cultures/backgrounds) of it to become coincidence.
Guys are the same – I have meet few naturals (lay counts like 50, 80, 100+, 300+) – something changes in brain after 30+/-10 – those guys are not able to keep relation going – they are bored after 3-6 months and looking for new pussy.
@Maven6
” i would like to have sex a lot with different pussy
But I want to marry in few years (yeah, I will be flagged on this blog) – and I don’t want my wife’s womb be rallied like highway.
And yes – I divide women in two groups: marriageable (good personality, low count) and P&D (high count).”
This says something about you. And it’s not something nice actually.
It’s your life, but think about it for a moment…
“This says something about you. And it’s not something nice actually.
It’s your life, but think about it for a moment…”
It just says I have double standard – I agree on that.
Pre-emptying your next comment – I am introverted beta, who got pissed of being LJBF-ed all the time and went PUA-way to steal some pussy from all those all-mighty-alphas. And I am good at that 😀
@Maven6: Maybe you deserve to get LJBF’d all the time because you don’t appreciate the women who want to fuck you. I’ll never understand why betas like you hate women who love men. Them LJBFing you is called karma. You said you don’t want your wife’s womb to be ravaged like a highway. Why the fuck not?
And as for Heartiste, his argument only applies if you believe in monogamy and are worried about cheating. If you reject open relationships, than I will leave you to your slut shaming hypocrisy which monogamy inevitably brings.
@Peter: Explain to us how sexual freedom is connected to economic troubles and a lack of prosperity in an age of birth control and paternity testing. And try to explain it without mentioning recklessness and irresponsibility since those are two separate subjects. And how are “family values” threatened by open relationships? How?
@Jack
Yeah – I do believe in monogamy with proper woman. I read BG, but don’t agree with everything.
As for rest of comment – too much shit to reply
@Jack I agree with that logic hommie. When girls are taken away from me, then I just let it be because if she really wanted me, she would stay. I’m a lazy PUA… LOL!!
Some of you guys, especially @Maven6, are really confused. If someone is fucking a lot of people, regardless you are man/woman/etc., you really just fuck other people. It doesn’t mean you knife old people in dark allies, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent, it just means you fuck a lot of people. If you do it responsibly, it is just a hobby, like fishing, or climbing mountains. It makes you happy. If you don’t live out your fantasies, you get depressed, you got unfulfilled.
Leaving monogamy wipes out so much crap from your life…. it’s incredible. Try it for a year! 🙂
Guys, I don’t know what is so hard to understand here.
My game is on immediate level now and I am pulling chicks 6-8hb. I have been in MLTR before, but I am not comfortable there. I prefer to be in LTR with one good girl.
I have sex with sluts, but I will not commit to them. And yes – woman who jumps 6 guys like that it a slut for me. Call it social programming, half-swallowed red-pill or whatever – not much I care.
Some people have preferences to monogamy and I don’t believe nuclear family will work with open relationship. I also believe that woman with high count is a fidelity risk and cannot build family/brought up kids – that’s based on my and other’s players’ experiences.
I guess it goes to own personality/preferences.
I love sluts, but Maven6 point is exactly right. If a girl has had many sexual partners, the chances that she will stay monogamous with you for a long time are much lower. This doesn’t mean that her “bonding chemicals” in her brain are dry or something, it just means that higher sex drive women get bored faster and will cheat more often than low drive women. Which is not surprising at all.
And it is not some slut shaming or sexist thing. It is 100% the exact same thing with men. Who is more likely to be loyal to his wife? The alpha, high sex drive player who fucked a new girl every weeking in college, or the nerdy guy who barely had one girlfriend before her? I think is obvious. It is the same as when blackdragon says the kind of people that make long term monogamy work (15% or so according to him) tend to be mostly lower sex drive people.
Even if you guys are 100% right (which you aren’t), the practicality of this doesn’t work. If you’re a super horny player guy who’s fucked a ton of women, then settle down (monogamous or not) with some pure-as-snow near-virgin who’s only slept with five guys in her life, then YOU will be the one who eventually cheats on her and gets caught, destroying the relationship. I have known MANY guys who have done this.
It’s very true that if two low-sex-drive people marry monogamously, they have a decent shot at making it work. However I don’t think anyone commenting here, nor any man who regularly reads this blog, falls into that category.
Never forget that YOU are the other 50% of the equation.
BD, have you ever thought of challenging Heartiste to a debate?
Not really. I generally like Heartiste (other than his often gloomy dwelling on the negative). I have a feeling if I did something like that it would just descend into yet another debate on whether or not long-term monogamy works.
Heartiste: “Well, I want to eventually get married someday. I don’t want a slut for that! I want a good girl who will stay with me forever so I can have kids.”
Me: “Unless you’re both over the age of 60, she won’t stay with you forever no matter what you do. She’ll either get bored and leave or you’ll cheat on her and she’ll find out then divorce you (or give you shitloads of drama that will damage the marriage). That’s why you should just have an open OLTR marriage and have kids under that system. Then you can be happy with her, do whatever you want, and it doesn’t really matter what happens 15 years later.”
Heartiste: Snort! “Oh yeah right! That shit doesn’t work!”
And there you go. Right back to square one.
Heartiste is a prick who as you said BD, dwells on doom and gloom too much. Every post from that idiot is about the bogeyman Feminism and Alpha-Beta BS.
He didn’t wanna challenge me to a debate or anything about anything, so I can’t imagine him challenging you BD, who has more years under his belt as far as age/experience goes.
Sent from my BlackBerry® device
@Socialkenny
Roosh’s guys are the same:
http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-18179-page-1.html
Roosh:
‘There’s a lot of guys here that will say it shouldn’t matter who she fucks and that if she’s giving you good sex then enjoy it and so on as long as you don’t wife her up. In theory I have no problem with that point of view, but in reality I just don’t feel comfortable banging a girl who is banging other guys. You can call that beta or traditional or whatever, but my dick goes soft if I know she’s getting slammed by other dicks and taking them in her mouth.
There are too many girls out there who don’t feel comfortable banging more than one guy at a time that I find it absolutely unnecessary to share a girl.’
Therefore we have two big players (I believe both on 300-500 lays) claiming the same – they are not comfortable with vagina sharing.
@BD: I was more hoping that you’d focus on his bogus claim that so called “sluts” are, as he puts it, “anti-civilization.” He connects sexual freedom with economic troubles and equates prudery and female virginity until marriage with national financial prosperity and “family values,” although he hasn’t yet explained the causal connections there, except to ramble about “unprotected sex,” “unwanted pregnancy,” “STDs,” and “irresponsibility,” which, as we both know, are completely seperate topics. I guess I just wanted to see you beat his ass since he’s a very prominant slut shamer who gets a lot of undeserved attention in this community.
@Maven6: Those two guys are both insecure needy alphas who want to guard their women with electric fences and laser guided missiles. Translation: Massive pedestaling and outcome dependence. Their neediness, scarcity mentality, and vagina worship also makes them hypocrites since they would deny to women the happiness which they themselves experience.
There is no rational reason for being uncomfortable with your woman sleeping with other men, unless you’re just an insecure territorial jackass who thinks women are his property and that you’re better than other men. This is exactly the kind of needy alpha tyrant whom women will cheat on the fastest just so they can breathe again after being locked in their cage. These women will tell their other men, “he doesn’t own me.” While the nonjudgmental outcome independent guy like BD and myself they’ll love forever and keep coming back to after the needy alphas put them in the hospital a few times for “cheating” and they grow tired of being terrorized and living in prison.
Men like Heartiste and Roosh are out of date. Follow these needy territorial primates to your own extinction if you must. But guys like me and BD are the future.
‘guys like me and BD are the future’
WOW!
Hey blackDragon, I think a cool topic that you could talk about could be how the length of time from the day meet to seduction plays a role in infidelity rates among new and emerging couples. For example if a guy meets a chick and tries a few dates for a while and the chick prolongs and delays the close, it increases the risk of infidelity occurring because of prolonged and delay of a sexual close on the female part. I think a females primal instinct because of societal conditioning is to delay sex in hopes of luring the male into a provider role. Ultimately their social conditioning can fuck up a probably relationship.
Sounds like oneitis, but its bs how a woman’s social conditioning tells her to deny and delay her primal sexual urges.
In other sense another alpha roles through and easily beds the woman for a one night stand.
I have friends who believe this whole woman denying herself sex gratification results in better relationships with the prospect males, which is really just hogwash. That type of femine behavior only creates more variables and odds of other things happening.
Mauricio
If you wanna talk about it on the phone I’m at 1-609-5534974
I always preferred the definition of “slut” in “The Ethical Slut” that a slut is “someone who enjoys sex and thinks pleasure is good for you.” So, yeah, I’d say she is.
Of course, so am I. 🙂
Wow for the rist time i dont fully agree with you BlackDragon… I woudn’t want my main woman to have a big history of fucking guys just for the hell of it. It woud bother me.
The other girls i fuck, ok no problem,the more sex they’ve had the more experienced they’ll be! But not all should be a slut! Im a kind of guy who gets stimulated for success by the woman by my side,the ONS’s and a harmony between those two.So its best to have of the two kinds.
And by the way there are plenty of sluts were i live (Bulgaria), especially around me…… being a dj ain’t easy. 😀
But still an awesome blog and an out of the box way of thinking!
“If your answer is still yes, you are a victim, likely a willing one, of false societal programming. That’s very unfortunate. I would love to hear your reasoning why fucking a lot of guys in a responsible way (as demonstrated above) is bad, moreover worthy of an insulting name like “slut”.”
Well, a slut is y definition someone who fucks a lot of men…no?
1. No. “Slut” is a derogatory term used to describe a promiscuous woman who sleeps with lots of people in an irresponsible and dangerous manner.
As I described above, there are ways men and women can sleep with many people in a responsible manner.
2. Everyone has a different opinion on what “a lot” means. I’ve seen some guys call a woman a “slut” because she fucked 6 men in her entire life. (WTF?)
Hey I been trying to see the video that comes with that article… anyone got the link?
I looked and can’t find it anywhere else. Interesting that Jenna Marbles would later backtrack and mark that particular video as “private.” Hmmmm….
Can’t sleeping with too many people ruin the pair bonding response which can make monogamy harder in the future?
Yes. That’s why we’re against monogamy here.