Women Are Not Evil
I love the manosphere. I am very pleased it exists and I hope, very strongly, that it grows and becomes more mainstream. I consider myself very honored and humbled to be a very small part of it. I think it helps men at a time in history when men need it the most. I support other manosphere writers, recommend them to others often, and I hope they get wider audiences as time goes on. When the blog revamp is complete, I will have a prominent set of links displayed to other manosphere sites that I have been compiling for quite a while.
Does this mean I agree with 100% of everything everyone in the manosphere says? And by extension, everyone in its subsections like the MRA, seduction community, etc?
Of course not. I’ve already explained before how supporting someone does not mean agreeing with everything that person says.
When I read a manosphere blog or article, I’m usually in complete agreement. However, there is one area in which I differ from the more common manosphere narrative. It’s a subtle difference, but it is a difference. I’ve already talked about it several times before. Many longtime readers already know what it is before I articulate it.
It’s this: Women aren’t the enemy. Women are not evil, lying, malicious, angry feminists out to get you. Women do not rub their hands together like some Vaudeville villain when they start dating you, fantasizing about how they’re going to cheat on you, or lie about their birth control, or dump you / divorce you, or take your money, or fuck up your life, or start forcing you to leave the toilet seat down.
I have known, worked with, and dated vast numbers of women in my life, and I can tell you for a fact that 95% of women out there aren’t thinking anything like this. They’re just thinking that they like you but, thanks to Societal Programming, don’t want to come off looking like a “slut” or a weakling. That’s really about it.
Do women cheat on men in large numbers? Of course they do. Monogamy doesn’t work, and women only like monogamy when it’s in short, concentrated bursts. Six months here, three years there, one year here, etc. I’ve been saying that forever and shown you mountains of evidence for this on this blog and elsewhere for many years.
Do women divorce men? Good god yes. 82% of all divorces are initiated by the female. As I’ve said before, women love getting married, women hate being married. Getting married is one of the most wonderful things you’ll ever do. Being married, once you’re past the first three years or so, is a huge, boring pain in the ass along with piles of work and sacrifice for very little results. In the modern era, parents and government have replaced many functions child-rearing women require that were once only provided by husbands or live-in boyfriends.
Because of all this, premenopausal women hate being married (or long-term monogamous) more than men do, and on a subconscious level don’t see the point past the first three years or so, once all the desired children have been created and the accolades and emotional highs from the engagement, marriage, honeymoon, and childbirth are all distant memories, and the long, boring, irritating slog of traditional marriage truly beings.
Nature, Not Evil
The point here is that women are not doing these things because they’re evil, or gold diggers, or feminists. They’re not doing these things because they hate the patriarchy or because they’re socialists or because they’re stupid. No, they’re doing these things because they are exactly what women have been biologically wired to do for 100,000 years and societally conditioned to do since the late 1960s. Which is, eventually get bored with their current sexual partner.
By the way, this cuts both ways and across both genders. When a man whose wife won’t have sex with him is caught cheating, and the wife tells all her friends (or gets on TV if she’s famous) and starts telling everyone about what an evil terrible man he is, and how he hates her and doesn’t respect their marriage and doesn’t care about his children, I say the exact same thing about him I’m saying about women now.
He’s not a bad guy who hates his wife or his marriage or his kids. He’s a man, doing what men have been wired to do by biology and society for thousands of years: fuck around with multiple women. If you want to attach some kind of evil or malicious intent to this, you’re more than welcome to do so, but you’re not living in the real word. I promise you that in the vast majority of cases, men who cheat on their wives:
1. Still love their wives just as much.
2. Still love their kids just as much.
3. Have no intention whatsoever of leaving their wives or kids.
It’s similar when a woman dumps you or divorces you or yells at you about something that makes no sense. She’s not being an evil bitch out to destroy your life….she’s just being a woman.
The Wolf
Therefore, if you want to live a happy life, your job as a man is to expect women to act like women. When men expect women to act like men, or robots, or angels, or Disney fairytale princesses, or pure little virgins, that’s where all the problems start.
You’re walking down the street and see a wild wolf baring his teeth and barking at you. Thankfully, he’s chained to a tree, so he tries to attack you but the chain restrains him. You puff out your chest and declare “I know all about wolves. I’m a wolf expert. He won’t bite me!” or say something like “This wolf is Not Like The Other Wolves™. He won’t bite me!”.
Then you walk up to the wolf to pet him.
For a few minutes, the wolf calms down and enjoys your attention. He likes it when you pet him and scratches behind his ears. You enjoy it also, and congratulate yourself on what a badass you are and/or how Different this wolf is.
Then suddenly and without warning the wolf snarls at you and bites your hand off.
Shocked and infuriated, you back away from the wolf, clutching your wrist that’s now gushing blood, and spend the rest of your life screaming your head off about how all wolves are a bunch of evil, lying whores who can’t be trusted and are out to get you.
Is that really the case? Was the wolf evil? No. It was just a wolf being a wolf. The problem was not the wolf. The problem was you being an idiot by treating the wolf like it was a Chihuahua.
Instead, I walk down the street enjoying the company of wolves without putting my hand anywhere near their mouths. I constantly see other people trying to pet the wolves with excuses about how they “understand wolves” or how “this particular wolf is Not Like The Rest™”. These people regularly get their limbs bitten off. Many of these guys are running around with bloody stumps screaming about how bad wolves are.
What I do here online is constantly warn these people to not put their hands anywhere near the wolves’ mouths. Enjoy the wolves, love the wolves, or even care for one special wolf, but do it without risking your limbs. Most people ignore my advice, because people love to pet those wolves, and everyone else in society is telling them to pet the wolves, thus all the people with missing hands.
(And just to be clear, I’m not comparing women to wolves. Women are much nicer, more pleasant, and less hairy (at least most of them). I honestly tried to use a more elegant animal for my metaphor but for the life of me, I just can’t visualize a swan or a dolphin biting off someone’s hand.)
But What About Those Feminists???
An extension of this woman-are-bad thing is all the feminist bashing that goes on in manosphere. I will say again that usually when a manosphere blogger is writing about how insane the extreme feminists are being, I’m nodding my head in complete agreement.
But here’s the problem…
I have dated a very large number of women in my life. I’m not giving you the specific number, and while my number is no where near what these hardcore PUA guys have, it’s still a decent amount far beyond the majority of men in society. The number of first dates I’ve been on numbers well into the triple digits. I have known many women as friends and have worked with literally hundreds of them over my business career. I also have a very large extended family and most of them are women.
From all this sample data over a 40+ year life, I can tell you with complete certainty that 95% of women out there are not “feminists”, have no idea what feminism is, and frankly don’t even care. Women are far more concerned about things like paying their cell phone bill on time, or whether or not their boyfriend is cheating on them, or stressing out about their kids. Feminism isn’t even on their radar, and never will be.
To constantly scream about these horrible feminists, okay man, I agree with what you’re saying, but the reality is these kinds of rabid, angry, man-hating monsters are very, very rare out there in the real world. If you don’t believe me, go ask 10 random women under the age of 50 what feminism is, and you’ll either get a blank stare or you’ll get some bumper-sticker soundbite about equal work for equal pay or something, and that’s about it. (And frankly, most women over 50 aren’t that much better.)
I’m very serious about this. Hell, the typical male reader of this blog has a far more developed concept of what feminism is than 95% of the real-world women walking around out there, and even that’s not saying much.
That Remaining 5%
I said 95% of women aren’t the problem. That does leave 5% who are. Yes, there are indeed women out there who really are evil. Some are women who are dedicated gold diggers who really are out for your wallet. Others are welfare queens looking for their next “accidental” baby so they can get more free money from government (i.e. the hardworking taxpayer). Others are extreme feminists who believe “all sex is rape” or similar insane things, and really do hate men with a passion. Others are just women in perpetual bitch mode for whatever reason.
I’ll say it again. This is only about 5% of women out there. 95% of women are normal, decent people who like men and don’t want to chop off anyone’s balls.
I have a very simple solution for you in regards to these evil 5%:Â Don’t hang around them.
That’s it. Don’t hang around them. Don’t befriend them. Don’t date them. Don’t have sex with them. Don’t vote for them when they run for political office (coughhillaryclintoncough). Don’t live with them, even as platonic roommates. Don’t talk to them online (unless they maintain a civil, rational tone where they can debate you on the merits of their arguments while making sense and not calling you names).
5% means that about one out of every 20 first dates I have is with some evil, angry bitch from hell. Thinking back, one in 20 does sound about right. No problem. Once I realize what I’m dealing with, I smile, pay the bill, tell her it was wonderful meeting her, excuse myself, and never talk to her again. That’s it. No arguing or anger (at least on my part). I just move on to the other 19 women who are pleasant.
In the end, all I do is treat 95% of women how women work in the real world instead of a Disney fairytale version of them, and I ignore the 5% of women who are bad news. And walla! Everything in my life is great and I’m a really happy guy. Very simple.
Yes, yes, YES, I realize I’m massively oversimplifying here. Treating a woman like a real-world woman who will become irrational at times and/or get bored with you in less than three years can be very difficult, especially if you’re deeply in love, or are in the middle of NRE, or really want to have children. And yes, sometimes completely ignoring that evil 5% can be easier said than done.
I get all that. I’m sure we could sit around for hours making all kinds of excuses. The absolute bottom line is that all of your experiences with women, both positive and negative, start with YOU and YOUR decisions about how you interact with women. Namely two things:
1. How you choose to treat women.
2. How much power you choose to give women (or one special woman) over your life.
As long as you keep those two above items under control, i.e. treat women nicely and don’t give them too much personal authority over your finances or sex life, then you’ll find you won’t be bothered too much by psycho bitches or angry feminists or man-haters or whatever. Â Those women will stay away, and the other 95% of nice women will be a wonderful and welcome addition to your life.
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Hells to the yes.
I like your metaphor and plan to steal it. I will replace the wolves with lionesses, though.
The “Wolf” food for thought right there!
This is a great article. I am a huge advocate of the manosphere. I love everything the manosphere talks about except two things that comes to mind. The first one you already wrote about; about the manosphere thinking all women are evil. When the manosphere criticizes women, it makes them sound like an inverse version of the very feminist they hate so much. They become “masculinist” or something weird like that.
The second criticism I have of the manosphere is how they think that foreign women from Latin America, Eastern Europe, and S. E. Asia are these perfect angelic beings whose only purpose in life is to serve men. I believe women are going to be women no matter where you go in the world. Also, I believe if a guy is shit with women in America, he will also be shit with women in these so called “poosey” paradise countries they talk about on their blogs.
I agree that women are not evil. When I discussed women’s dating behaviour with a woman one time she said: You must really hate women! I just said NO, women are awesome!
Admitting that both women and men just follow their instincts is not a reason to hate or think that men/women are evil. People have also assumed that I’m bitter because I accept true human behaviour and try to see things for what they really are.
But it really is the opposite. Admitting our true nature and discarding the Disney fairy tale princess paradigm will help you to not get burned, and it will make you a more tolerant, balanced and ultimately happier person.
I agree with BD all the way. I am just coming out of an intense phase where I nearly concluded that women are all bitchy monsters who can never really give a man happiness and peace of mind. Then I met C. She is a stunning mature with the body of a woman 15 years younger than her. I met her online, and we hit it off on the first date, making out big time in my car. But it was too late so I decided to postpone the main course to the next day (not date mind you).
Anyway, next day in the morning she is on top on my shit about why my profile is still logged on after such a wonderful evening we spent together. She was all hurt but trying to act all civil about it. Now this is where I made the dumbest basic mistake. I promised to log my shit off, so that I don’t attract more women.
I regreted that crap as soon as it left my big mouth. Of course she was nice and we had a pleasant end to the chat, promising to meet (later in the week – now her terms) for another date.
Anyway, I decided that this is not good. I could feel the man power leaking from my balls, so I played a curved one. I said, listen babe, lets meet tonight, you know. Lets have a cool time.
I waited 24 hours, she did not reply. I logged back onto my profile and moved on. She may have since decided to move on, I don’t care. But if she wakes up and tries to fly at my throat, I am ready to remind her that firstly she did not come through on her implied exclusive availability, and second, I’ve decided that I am responsible enough to make my own decisions about how not to break other people’s hearts without taking their instructions on how not to.
So like BD says, we have full choice over how we let women treat us. Even bitches respect some man in their miserable existence.
Peace and love
When will the 2013 predictions come out?
Hypergamy is not conducive to advanced civilization. If I, as a male, were to indulge in my natural instincts I would cop feels at the grocery store and run offensive motorists off the road. There are laws against that, but if their weren’t would I be forgiven for merely “following my natural impulses?”. No, women are not evil but as Bill Burr says, but they are assholes. Which any group of people are, male or female, if they were allowed to indulge in entitled behavior.
Allowing and permitting “hand-biting” (i.e. hypergamous) behavior has the end result of keeping vast quantities of potentially high-productive men on the lower strata of Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs.
Don’t you think having 47.5% of the world’ population behaving as wild animals a bit of a problem?
Not one of your better posts, BD.
Ah F it, I read your 5% as 95%. Lol.
Yeah, read correctly dammit. But to your original point:
Two answers to that.
1. A woman has no power over you if you don’t give it to her. A woman cannot cheat on you if you have an open relationship/marriage. A woman can’t take half your money if you don’t marry her. Etc, etc. Any man has the power to at any time remove all authority a woman has over him if he simply chooses to have the balls to do so. I don’t get my hand bitten off because I don’t give any wolves that kind of authority over me.
2. NOT having women behaving like “wild animals” as you put it (which would not be how I would put it) means that men must revert back to pre-1950’s behaviors and spend all the time, effort, money, work, and emotions using the power of laws, courts, cops, religion, and armies to constantly keep women “in line”. I don’t know about you, but I have much better things to do with my time. Even if I wanted to oppress women, which I don’t, I still wouldn’t do it, because the time would be much better spent in other areas, namely achieving my own goals and happiness.
Women will behave like hunters but are quick to be insulted when you point it you.
Monogamy only works when the guys is a beta provider and “finds peace”, deep inside he knows he wants to bang.
I’ve being an avid reader of BD’s blog for quite a while now and even while I do not necessarily agree with everything he says/writes, I certainly find most of his insights interesting and realistic.
What BD shares in this post is spot on. I agree that the manosphere is perhaps one of the best things that has happened to us guys in a while but many atimes I come across postings and I can’t just help but feel this “hate” towards women emanating from the authors.
From my personal experiences with women, I know that women are NOT this usual lying, double timing, gold digging bitches that some aspects of the manospehere make them out to be, women are just women and they have no choice but to behave like women doing the thing s that they’ve being biologically programmed to do as BD rightly pointed out.
Solid post !
Great analogy…. Some men walk down the streets with wolfs without ever sticking their hand in the month. Perfection!
Women basically just need to be put under the thumb of men again,
More so than they ever were in the past of American society.
Allowing them to vote (and these rights WILL be rescinded at some point, just probably under a much different – Asian run? – type of society than we live in now) was the biggest mistake any “Democrazy” ever made, they all being naturally Communistic politically: they vote for the State to replace husbands and fathers, it’s really that simple, they only understand Protection, not Freedom, and of course it can be shown that government spending has went WAY up since the bitches got their way (which men GAVE to them of course) back in 1920.
All the Suffragettes should have been shot on site
The question is: What to do about all this???
Either you’re a troll looking to start a useless argument, or you completely misunderstood the article you’re commenting on. No one needs to be shot and no one needs to be put under anyone’s thumb.
In terms of democracy eventually turning into socialism, you’re right. Eventually people start voting for other people’s stuff. This is not because of women specifically. There are plenty of male left-wing and socialist voters in the world last time I checked.
Amen, BD. Too much hate in the man-o-sphere.
Women are not evil. People are evil. Humans are evil. It seems women are more evil now because the law has given them more power and money. The ‘true nature’ of women has been exposed because they have an ever increasing amount of power and money.
Women’s past lack of power and money kept their evil natures hidden. Women are no different than men. Give them more power and money and they’ll become equally as evil.
Men and women are equally evil. My dog is the only soul I trust in this world. I can say for certain that his soul is far more pure than any human I’ve ever met.
“What are little boys made of?
Slugs and snails
And puppy-dogs’ tails,
That’s what little boys are made of.
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice
And everything nice,
That’s what little girls are made of.”
Bull$hit.
I love your metaphors BD.
Here’s female nature (AWALT):
All women are sluts.
To other women, this is a Bad Thing, which is why women do everything they possibly can to hide it in public.
To attractive, non-monogamous, non-possessive, selective, discreet, private alpha males, this is a Good Thing.
To survive in this modern Western world, as a man, you must eliminate any and all desire to “lock down” any woman and let her try to lock you down. That is The Game.
If you’re like me (and you’re not), then everyone knows that it simply cannot be done. Ladies, you’re more than welcome to try, but you will fail.
Sorry if i misunderstood you but from this article and one of your posts in the comment section you are saying that you should expect a woman to cheat and be unhappy/unsatisfiable with you and wont appreciate the marriage after three months because its in their biology and they cant have power to do any of these things if you dont give in . honestly this sounds just as bad if not worse then saying they are evil , you might not constitute what you said in the article as evil but at least evil people know they are evil , what you describe is people who lack self awareness and do things to only benifit themselves because its in their nature and they were born to do such as acts as if these foul offputting acts are writtin in dna and will definitley manifest in future. I would rather say believe there is people who are knowingly evil and are a result of their personal cruelty then to say a whole gender are instinctively unfaithful and are born to deicieve , manipulate and betray .
You should expect a woman to cheat. You should expect a man to cheat.
But yes, you should expect a woman to be become at least somewhat unsatisfied with a monogamous relationship, particularly after the three year mark. Women were never designed for long-term monogamy. It’s not their fault. (Men weren’t either of course, which is why they cheat.
Utterly wrong. Evil people think they’re good. Hitler, Stalin, Charles Manson, etc, thought they were good guys.
The wolf has in its DNA to murder innocent little rabbits. This this evil? Or biology?
It’s biology. You and I may not like it, but it’s not evil. Calling it evil would be odd.
Your job is to be aware of the biology of others and act accordingly to maximize your own current and future happiness. Not sit around and bitch about how horrible it is that wolves eat rabbits. Otherwise you’ll be bitching forever (and never be happy).
Well i would really have to say that the women of today are Nothing at all like the Good old fashioned women that we once had.
I think it’s normal that nobody accepts what you say being true till they haven’t experienced it at least once.
The outrage is those people, men and women, who keep complaining about how “all men/women are” after multiple experiences, and at age past 30, or even 35 and 40.
Those who never learn and never grow, they are who puzzles me.
Disney is normal when you have no experience.
Ok, but not in the cyber world (don’t even mention the press, the blogosphere, and alike).
Have you looked at OKCupid profiles?
It crawls with “intelligent strong women” who… boil with complexes of gender inferiority, traumata related to having no stable identity, thus aggressivity towards men.
Specially if they are from the USA, and also Northern Europe.
“You should expect a woman to cheat. You should expect a man to cheat.”
This drives me nuts. I’m in my late 30s, have had opportunities to cheat yet never cheated. Never. My word is my bond. Yes it’s unnatural to be monogamous but it’s simply a matter of choice. Each day I have ever been in a relationship, IÂ did the honest/ethical/right thing – which was keeping my word and honoring my commitment. I recently was cheated on after a ~4 year relationship and Never Saw It Coming (TM). I think what you are driving at is something that I both agree with and also disagree with – I agree that the drive to cheat is always there but I disagree with your expectation that there is nobody this world who is virtuous on the extremely simple matter of keeping one’s promises. This is not complicated. Or maybe I am in denial because I simply cannot handle the fact that I am basically good and almost everyone else is basically evil.
They are driven by directives. They have natural inclinations. Does that make them evil? Maybe not but still they are dangerous. Not evil does not necessarily mean good or harmless. Real SIMPLE. They can do evil things.
This^^^
I did not think all women are evil, but society and justice system does have a bias towards women. They treat women as innocent angels who are in capable of doing no wrong but I have been watching and hearing cases of female serial killers, cheaters, divorce starters,pedophilic teachers, rapists, domestic abusers, tyrants, etc. These type of women get away with stuff because society makes women out to be victims. I also hate the MGTOW movement spending some effort trying to demonize women and just need to avoid women at all costs. Finding some healthy outlets and hobbies that you can enjoy instead of being on the internet ranting about women. There are some guys who need to stop putting women on the pedestal and accept that women are flawed human beings. Women have insecurities, doubts, fears, and personality flaws. Underneath a lot of hot female supermodels who men wish they can do sex is a scared little girl who wants attention and validation. Female supermodels probably have to do extreme diets, can be very narcissistic, and constantly worrying about their looks fading. That does not make for a good relationship partner does it? Your self-worth can be not validated from a flawed women. In my experience, most women’s lives can be pretty empty without an awesome man(like Blackdragon himself) to fill the void.
Someone linked one of  your articles at Return of Kings so I did a little browsing here. You claim alpha male status but then give women a “pussy pass” and White Knight in classic form. “It is just the way it is…”
If all men thought like you civilization would not exist. The closest analogy to your “do what thou wilt” society are the matriarchal bush tribes of Africa. I’m just going to let that hang here in the air… women are functionally somewhere between men and children. Logic and long term thinking are not their forte, -in general-. There are exceptions. They will burn tomorrow every single time for 5 more minutes of “now” if it feels good/right.
Nice try bud, but there are men who are neither the angry Alpha 1.0 or you the 2.0 (whatever that is). There are men who honor integrity, courage, morality. We are rarified air today yes, but we generally pushed men like you aside to forge civilization.
Your ideology is basically that all humans are sociopaths. Try harder brah… you can surely sell more books if you tighten this absurdity up a bit.
Here to help.
Apex Predator
(see what I did there?)
Read this.
But some women actually are evil. Look up Lucifer’s Daughters. Be on your guard.
Oh, no. They do none of that consciously.
Consciousness isn’t something Good Mother Nature has any use for.
***
This blog post, if extended coherently, tells us that nothing and nobody — no person animal nor person’s deed — is evil. It’s just, they are, what it is and they are.
Let’s agree and remove moral words and thoughts from the picture. Let’s call it “wiring” .
“Wiring” makes it a reality that like there are a male vs male, female vs female, indirect civilization-softened battles going on full-time, there is always a female vs male and conflict going on, of all settings, in close relationships/romance/family.
Which means you either abide by the diktats of natural selection and (civilized) jungle or you get penalties all of the time.
Penalties for being sincere, penalties for being logical, penalties for being financially generous, penalties for being honest, penalties for not being submissive when according to the script you should be and flatter, penalties for being bold and assertive when the script says you must not. As well as penalties for being sweet/submissive when the script says you are to be bold and assertive (and viceversa).
It’s just a finely crafted strategy war game: you gotta be flexible.
You just have to never trust, never lend, pretend all the time, keep in mind what divorce courts are like (they aren’t evil! They are just divorce courts… ), keep in mind that whatever happens “society” will fault you and support her, and remember the person some part of your wiring makes you want as a stable loving mate (because you have evolved fairly past primate stage) is still in primate stage with all that entails as for mental time frame, and the rest said above.
No evil at all — just a lot of beautiful handsome stuff to deal with.
(Including the things she will make-up to motivate the break-up she wants framing it in a truth-free form that makes her do what she wants while not knowing what she wants, why, and who she is.)
It’s just that it rains all the time, and raindrop are lies she tells to herself, you, and everyone else.
Not evil. Just bad weather.