PMS Management
Yes, Iām actually going to talk about this. Today, weāre going to discuss that most dreadful of relationship topics, that oh-so-fun time of the month, That WhichĀ Shall Not Be Spokenā¢. Every man whoās ever lived with a woman or had a long-term relationship with a woman knows exactly what this is, and the evil that it will bring to your life if youāre not prepared for it.
During her period, or menstrual cycle, or PMS, or whatever the hell you want to call it, youāre often in for some extremely irrational, possibly negative behavior that wonāt be your fault even though sheāll blame you for it anyway. This depends on the woman of course, and Iāll lay out the different types of period behavior and how to avoid the damage it causes to your happiness.
PMS or Period?
Sometimes people will refer period bitchy-time asĀ āPMS,” when in fact the technical definition of PMS is the bitchy-time during theĀ several days before a womanās bleeding actually starts. The problem is many women are just fine before the period, and are more emotional/irrational during the period.
Therefore, for the remainder of this article, Iām going to use the term āPMSā to describe any uncharacteristic, irrational behavior (negative or otherwise) from a woman that is tied in any way to her period, regardless of whether these behaviors occur before or during the actual bleeding.
Types of PMS
I have noticed that, generally speaking, there are four types of women when it comes to PMS.
1. Bitchy PMS. This is the standard PMS most people are familiar with. This is when a woman is noticeably more bitchy and angry.
2. Crying/Emotional PMS. These women arenāt actually bitchy during PMS, but are much more sensitive and emotional. These women quickly cry at things that normally wouldnāt bother them at all.
3. Sleepy PMS. Women with sleepy PMS act normal during their monthly ātimeā, but they have much less energy, get tired much more easily, and seem more lethargic, even lazy.
4. Stealth PMS. These women actually donāt behave any differently, at least to the outside world, during their period/PMS. Either they really donāt experience anything different emotionally or theyāve learned to be very good at hiding it. (This is a small percentage of women.)
Itās important to know which type your female partner(s) falls into. In my experience, the vast majority of women will be in categories 1 or 2. Type 3 is rare, and type 4 is much rarer. (Though birth control is also a factor here.)
Horniness
Thereās a societal trope that says women are hornier during their period (or right before their period, or right after). This is sometimes true. Every woman is different and it really depends. Many experience no difference in sexual desire at all.
Another common belief is that women are hornier during ovulation. I have found this to be generally true but not as absolute as a lot of men seem to think. I have also noticed that any increase in horniness due to either the period or ovulation varies from woman to woman. Some women do get hornier, others get just a little more horny. Again, it depends on the girl.
Timeframe and Tracking
Ovulation usually begins on day 11 or 12 of the month if day 1 is the first day of her period, and it generally lasts 4-5 days. Using a calendar or spreadsheet, itās pretty easy to figure this out with any particular woman as long as you know the exact date when her period (bleeding) first started. If you do this for 90 days straight, youāll end up with a reasonably reliable data set. Then you can extrapolate:
1. When sheās going to ovulate next.
2. When her next period is going to start.
3. When her PMS is going to occur (bitchy, crying, or sleepy).
Itās important to reiterate that you need to do this for at least three months, not one month. All women are different. Some women have their periods at exactly 28, 29, or 30 days. Other women have weird bodies and have much shorter cycles (25 days or less). One FB of mine operates on a consistent 42-44 day cycle(!).
Still other women have weird health problems, and can suddenly have āperiodsā just two weeks after the last one, completely sporadically. Still other women can have their cycles heavily modified by birth control.
When a womanās cycle is much different than around 30 days, this shortens or lengthens the time between her first day of bleeding and ovulation. Be aware of this. The 11-day period between first blood and ovulation assumes a 29-30 day cycle. The woman youāre tracking may be different.
Bottom line, there is an extremely wide variance in this stuff from woman to woman based on many factors, so if you want to track this and make extrapolations, make sure youāre operating with a minimum of a 90-day history.
Is it really worth tracking a womanās periods like this? The answer is, it depends.
Way back when I was a married beta male, my wife at the time would have these days when she would wake up in the morning and immediately start screaming her head off at me about completely stupid shit for no reason. Being the dumbshit I am, this confused the hell out of me for years. Then one day, I saw a stand-up comedian making a joke about how he tracked his wifeās periods on a calendar. Immediately a light bulb went on, and I started tracking her periods along with the days when she was a bitch-for-no-reason.
Sure enough, lock clockwork, her bitchy days were always within 4 days of the start of her next period. I was amazed. Going forward, I would simply pre-plan these days for the next month, and just started staying the hell away from her during those 3-4 days. If she caught me anyway and started bitching at me during those days, Iād just say āHey, yeah. You know what? Letās discuss thatĀ on…let’s see…<quickly remembered the period calendar>…Saturday.ā Then Iād terminate the conversation as fast as I could or leave the room.
These days I would handle something like that differently (INSTANT SOFT NEXT!), but back then it really helped, and saved me a lot of hassle.
Today, as an Alpha Male 2.0 with the FB/MLTR lifestyle, do I really need to track womenās periods like this? Sometimes, but usually not. I donāt live with a woman, and I only see any individual woman once a week. Often these women make sure to not see me during their periods (their choice, not mine, I couldnāt care less). Even if we do see each other during her PMS time, itās only for a few hours, so we donāt have enough time for her to get bitchy/crying/sleepy with me.
If I do have an MLTR I start to spend more time with (still once a week but for a longer span of time, like she spends 24-48 hours with me), then yes, I will start tracking those periods. Based on her PMS type and pattern,Ā if necessaryĀ I will make sure that I donāt see her during any problematic time. It also assists as a second or even third layer of pregnancy prevention. Simple.
I would also certainly do this if I was living with an OLTR, where soft nexting is impossible (unless you’re doing something creative like a Dual Live In or Virtual Live In OLTR). Moreover, a woman who was really bitchy during PMS as a regular pattern wouldnāt even qualify for an OLTR (live-in or otherwise) in the first place, low-drama being the number one qualification for such a relationshipĀ (at least in my opinion).
Other Tips
1. If you find that your gal really gets hornier during her period, or during ovulation, or both, then use this to your advantage. Use those days to attempt the more freaky stuff youāve always wanted to try, like anal sex, threesomes, or whatever.
2. Never, ever, EVER verbalize to a woman that sheās being a bitch because sheās on her period, even if that really is the only reason sheās being a bitch. Telling a PMSing bitch that sheās only bitching because sheās PMSing will create a tidal wave of irrational, screaming anger-drama the likes of which youāve never seen. Women HATE to admit that sometimes theyāre angry at someone mostly because of their own PMS. You do yourself no favors by bringing it up.
3. You can tell her that youāre tracking her periods if you want. Just do this on a day when sheās not going through PMS. Sometimes doing this makes women try to be a little nicer to you during their periods. Women will get accustomed to this and some will even like the fact that youāre doing it. I seriously have some women ask me, āCan you check your sheet to see when I start my period again?ā
4. What if a woman is a bitch to you during PMS? You should know the answer by now: instant soft next! Soft next, soft next, soft next! Itās the most powerful and effective weapon in your relationship toolbox. If you want to live a life of consistent, long-term happiness, you MUST get comfortable using this technique no matter how weird it sounds to you the first time you read about it. Men who refuse to soft next are at the complete mercy of womenās drama, including period-drama, unless the relationship is relatively new. Once you get comfortable soft nexting women when needed, youāll never fear a womanās PMS again. (Of course if youāre one of those guys who “kinda likesā drama, donāt ever soft next. Just keep yelling at her.)
5. Should you have sex with a woman while sheās on her period? I certainly do, but I know lots of men who are turned off by this. I donāt care if a woman has a blood down there; I just wonāt go down on her. Everything else works just fine. If thereās a lot of blood, thereās always lube. If youāre concerned about blood stains on your bed or floor, buy two red bath towels, lay āem down, lay her down, and rock nā roll. Works great.
6. Is being on her period a valid excuse for her to not have sex with you? If sheās never had sex with you, and weāre talking about the very first time, then yes, itās a valid excuse. Having first-time sex with a guy is scary for a woman, even an experienced one, and she wants to look, feel, and smell her best.
But if youāve already had sex numerous times and she says no to sex because sheās on her period? NO. Unless sheās experiencing real cramping pain, that is not a valid reason at all and sheās just using this as an excuse because sheās starting to lose sexual interest in you. Of course no means no, and if she doesnāt want to have sex, you canāt have sex with her. Regardless, if a woman youāre dating ever resists sex and uses her period as a convenient scapegoat, this means youāre either A) monogamous or B) open/poly but have screwed up on the usual open/poly relationship rules. Either way, sexual boredom and/or betaization has started to set in, and itās probably going to get worse unless you make some radical changes.
Anyway, as you can see, managing PMS is no big deal as long as you structure your relationship correctly and you take the proper precautions.
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Interesting this – and I wonder what the ladies will have to say about it! š
I’ve known everything from women taking to bed for two days (along with what appeared to be very bad pain) to absolutely no reaction whatsoever.
What I have seen often is what could be learned behaviour. Mother had terrible periods so daughter has them. I’ve also known the reverse. Women I’ve known who seem to breeze through their periods tell me that their mother’s also had an easy time of it.
As for intercourse during a period, some mental block of my own means I went years without experiencing this but the first time I did (with this woman her second day was very light) I was amazed. A totally different feel for me and her orgasms had a different quality, which was nice for her.
Let me tell you though, menopause can be a bloody site worse than PMS! š
The main thing that sparked my interest here was when BD said that having that time of the month is not a good excuse for a girl not to have sex.Ā I can understand a girl using it as excuse because she is starting to get boredā¦ā¦..but if thatās not the case; if everything is just fine and we are having sex all of the time normally, except for that time of the month, then I think itās an ok excuse.Ā Especially if during that time of the month you substitute sex with something else super nice, like going down on him.Ā (and by if, I mean it should be a requirement to do something nice like that for him)
Luckily I never get meanĀ & nasty and Iām a combination of number 2 and 4.Ā Covering the bed with a towel would be a must, but the other problem is when the blood starts getting on your hands and starts transferring around.Ā Maybe this is not a problem for everyone though.Ā Also, if he really wants to have sex during that time of the month, then I’ll do it, but it would never be my idea in the first place.
I found a genius solution to have sex on her period (ok, the girl I was banging came up with it, but I’ll take credit anyway). There are these doggy training pads that are meant to absorb liquid without letting any get through. Basically a flat diaper. It’s far more effective than a towel (and a lot cheaper).
Hey BD! Informative post as usual…
Reading the part about the blood got me thinking of something kinda related though I’m sorry if you don’t see it as so. I’m talking about virgins. I have a situation with one on my hands. I cold approached her about 3 weeks ago and so far, I don’t seem to be able to do anything wrong. Attraction is there and sexual tension is through the roof! I was moving at lightning speed, going on full throttle and she was loving it. Then she told me she’s a virgin and I just suddenly developed cold feet. She’s wondering what happened along the wayĀ and frankly I sense she’s getting frustrated and impatient. The climax Ā which she so much needs isn’t forthcoming.Ā
I’m sexually aggressive and usually don’t turn away from things like this but since I learned she’s a virgin, I’m kinda reluctant to have anything to do with her. I have heard things could get messy on first time sex with virgins, I have no prior experience in this and certainly don’t intend to do this unless I’m sure I could fairly be in control of whatever situation might arise. Funny thing though is, even though I’m hesitant, I really wanna bang this girl. She gives me a raging hard-on and has the body I ideally find VERY sexy! I need some pointers.
Lemme ask, have you ever deflowered a girl. If so, I’d appreciate a brief review on your experience and tips for a first timer – penetration, going down on her etc etc. Also, on how to generally go about it to ensure the most minimal discomfort for her and yet maximum fun!
I apologize again if you find this off, – have no intention of distracting from the main topic.
Hi BD, really interesting post. I’m definitely going to give the whole tracking thing a go but do you ever find women get freaked out by you tracking them?
Also do you think it’s possible some women just don’t like having sex on their period?
True. That was the final catalyst for my divorce. (Not the blood, the behavior.)
The answer is “not exactly.” It would take a while to explain. Just make sure you’re 100% hard and you go slowly when hitting the hymen, but not too slow. Be gentle but use constant, steady motion. And don’t puss out.
I have been the 2nd-guy-ever though, with several women. They all bled, mostly from the inside rear of theĀ vagina. Within two or three times the bleeding stopped.
Never. I’ve never had that problem. However, my open/poly/outcome independent/Alpha 2.0 frame is rock solid at all times. If you’re frame is off (more beta or more monogamish) then yeah, you might have a problem.
Okay, here’s the deal on this:
1. If you’re dating and having sex on her period for months, and then she starts telling you she doesn’t want to have sex on her period, she’s just using that as an excuse, and betaization / sexual boredom is starting to kick in.
2. If you’re dating and having sex for a long time, and she never lets you have sex on her period, but she is sexual with you in other ways during this time (like blowjobs, etc), then with a little dominance and Alpha frame you can very easily start getting her to have sex on her period. She’ll go for it, as Bulma said right here:
Exactly. It’s not her preference, but she’ll do it as long as she’s still attracted to you.
3. If in the above secnario she adamantly refuses to have sex on her period no matter what you try, again I’m going to say that betaization or sexual boredom has started to set in.
The exception to this rule would be if she regularly has really painful, crampy periods; not talking about those women; they have an excuse. I’m talking about women with “normal” periods; they don’t.
I have a period tracker app on my phone that’s pretty much the best thing ever because I don’t have PMS symptomsĀ that are significant enough for me to ever tell when I’m going to get it. It’s always been a mystery to me and I’ve never been able to predict when it will start. The app is not exact but it generally is not off by more than two days as far as period starting and stopping. I live by this app now and use it for planning travel and sex.
So as a guy, you can either download a period tracker app yourself or suggest it to her and then check her app. There are a bunch of different ones. Just like with what BD suggests, the app won’t get good at prediction until you’ve entered a few cycles and it can start figuring out the pattern. It also allows you to put in notes about mood and other factors, so you can track all kinds of factors if you want (personally I just want to know when I’ll have it so I don’t schedule romantic/sex weekends during that time).
I never noticed any PMS symptoms and barely notice my period except for the fact that it puts me out of commission for fun sex. However, once I started tracking it and knew when I was about to get my period, I started realizing that I was in fact often in a crappy mood one or two days before. This was not significantĀ enough to me to realize it until I had it charted.
A factual quibble:
The number of days from ovulation to the first day the next period begins is the same in virtually all women, which is 14. The number of days from the end of a period until the next ovulation is what varies, and it can vary by a LOT, both in the same woman and between women. So going by a certain number of days from the start of a period is not a good way to determine ovulation. Since I’ve been tracking it, I can see that my cycle varies between 24 and 33 days depending on the month, and that is not considered irregular. Women aren’t considered to have “irregular” periods until the variation between their long and short cycles exceeds 21 days. So don’t expect it to be like clockwork. The apps seem to have some sort of algorithm so that even when it isn’t regular, it can still predict it pretty well.
I think what BD said about women being willing to have sex on their period is about right. I don’t like it and I try to avoid it, but I’ll do itĀ if a guy I amĀ really into demands it. However, while it’s usually not a big deal, you only need one murder scene/blood bath incident to scare you off. Sometimes it seems like it’s light or over but thenĀ sex “re-activates” the bleeding. I had one really bad murder scene incident with my boyfriend in high school…I am talking blood head to toe, bloody handprints on the walls, etc. It was mortifying. I don’t even know how it happened because I’ve never bled much. Nothing remotely like that has happened since, but that’s also because I’ve always been gunshy and careful. A lot of girls have a story like that and they’re not usually gung-ho.
Last, if your girl is on the pill, she can just skip the sugar pills and go straight through her packs so she never has her period. The “period” on the pill is an artificial period anyway because women on the pill don’t ovulate, and so the period is totally unecessary and doesn’t do anything for her health. I used to skip the sugar pills to skip my period back when I was on the pill, andĀ it was great. Though good luck convincing her to do that unless a doctor tells her or she’s isn’t scientifically/practically minded. A lot ofĀ women will decide not getting her period “feels” wrong and will insist even though it isn’t necessary. It’s a good test of your value, I suppose. If she really wants you she won’t want to get her period. If not, she’s probably happy for the excuse for a week off of sex.
@Kate
I’m on the pill and won’t skip my sugar pills…but I’m also happy to have sex on my period. It’s really just not a big deal for me. Then again, I don’t bleed much because of said pills, so I’ve never had that “murder scene” experience.
Two words, people; shower sex.
Two more words: hydrogen peroxide.
Good for cleaning up bloodstained textiles after sex.
BD,
I want to give your Open relationship ebooks bundle a try, however I live in Asia at the moment and the culture differences are huge, I’m then not sure if your materials could be useful here. I would like to know does your ”Lifetime Money Back Guarantee” policy apply worldwide or US only, in case I find out it’s a waste?
Also, if I instead choose a custom bundle consists of 2 ebooks, say Vol2 + Vol3 with 20% off the total, does money back policy apply too?
Thx and best regards,
100%. Ā Maybe the fifth time having sex when I was 18 this happened. I guess I didn’t know it could be like that. She was on top, I looked down….was like puddles and puddles on me…. all over the place. I had seen crime scene photos of a family member we lost and I’ve never been right since. LOL. Every single GF I’ve had since then the very first time she says oh Im on my period, I smile slyly and say, “aw, perfect, blow job week.” Ā I get zero resistance now… Ā SomeĀ almost seem relieved Im not into it and commences with the blowies! Kinda a win/win in my book!
Do you mean the last day of ovulation? I’ve never read this. Source?
Yup,Ā correct.
Worldwide, 100% of the time, with bundles too.
And just so you know, there are plenty of guys in Asia with open relationships doing just fine. It varies widely from country to country though. (Korea is very different than Indonesia, for example. Asia is a very big place).
I’ve had murder scenes too. Just doesn’t bother me. Years ago I was with an MLTR who bled A LOT, and we ended up covering an entire hotel bed with red ruin. Totally fine with me. It looked like I had hacked her to pieces. I thought it was funny. It never turned me off to her or period-sex.
But that’s me.
BD, speaking of soaking the sheetsā¦ā¦..have you known many or any girls who āsquirtā?Ā Or more realistically I guess, āgushersā?Ā (not talking about blood here).Ā Is that a turn on for you and most guys?
No period sex from a GF is not a valid enough excuse. Ā I taught my current girl that orgasms can help women with their cramping pain. Ā Oftentimes my girl will now actively initiate sex when her cramps are the worst as she knows it helps.
@ BD Ā “The luteal phase of the menstrual cycle is about the same length in most individuals (mean 14/13 days, SD 1.41 days)[22]Ā whereas the follicular phase tends to show much more variability (log-normally distributed with 95% of individuals having follicular phases between 10.3 and 16.3 days).[23]Ā The follicular phase also seems to get significantly shorter with age (geometric mean 14.2 days in women aged 18ā24 vs. 10.4 days in women aged 40ā44).[23]”
Luteal phase is after ovulation, follicular phase is before ovulation. Ovulation is only one day. People think women ovulate for more than a day because there’s a “danger zone” of several days for pregnancy, but that’s really only because sperm can live for several days inside a woman. Ovulation isĀ just one day. That said, for purposes of determining behavior, which corresponds with hormone levels, there is a spike in estrogen where it goes up before ovulation, then drops pretty far while progesterone starts to go up. So as far as estrogen levels go, they’re highest a day or two before actual ovulation — which makes sense, because that’s when nature needs the woman to get a guy’s sperm in her for a pregnancy to happen.
I donated eggs several times in the past, which involved, each time, getting myĀ blood drawn every day for two weeks to monitorĀ myĀ estrogen/LH/progesterone levels and dailyĀ ultrasounds to measure the size of the developingĀ egg follicles. So that was some seriously tight monitoring of my cycle. But absent a blood draw like that, it is more art than science and there’s no definite way to know when ovulation happens — you can make an educated guess at best.
You must be someone who’s not grossed out and doesn’t feel weak at the sight of blood. Lots ofĀ guysĀ would be very freaked out by what doesn’t phaseĀ you. I don’t mind my own blood but anyone else’s disgusts me and the idea of getting someone else’s blood on me…forget it. So I fully understand why a guy would just declare it blowjob week.
Not many, but a few, yeah.
Can’t speak for other men, but for me no. It doesn’t bother me but in my experience it smells REALLYĀ bad. The “squirt” is actually piss. Um…yeah, no. Not something I want all over my bed or carpet. I think I’d rather have the blood.
I do know other guys really like it though.
Interesting. Though it doesn’t’ really conflict much with what I’m saying. Ex: girl has her period on day 1, ends around day 6 or 7, ovulates around day 11 or 12, then has a 14 day luteal phase ending around day 26, starts period again on day 27. That’s sounds about right.
Interesting that the luetal phase is static among most women though. I didn’t know that.
Yeah. I could have been a surgeon in another life. Blood doesn’t bother me. Hence my love of bloody action movies and surgery videos. (I don’t like gore movies though, but that’s not because of the blood.)
“I could’ve been a surgeon in another life. Blood doesn’t bother me.” Well, lucky for your women that you aren’t squeamish.
I don’t know what to think about squirting/gushing. The science seems to say it’s urine, girls who do it say it’s preceded by a feeling of an intense need to pee, and I’ve certainly never experienced it. Yet girls who squirt and their male and lesbian lovers swear up and down that it’s a real thing, different from a normal orgasm, and not urinating. Personally I think regular orgasms are quite strong enough. But I think it’s kind of funny that there’s no definitve answer on whether there’s really such thing or not. Porn stars seem to say it’s just urinating.
No Period Sex for this Vaquero! Man, I’ll never forget the time a GF started while we were having sex. Not heavy, not a “murder scene,” but still when we got done and I went into the bathroom and saw the blood on Wee Vaquero – I almost blew chunks and passed out. I spent the rest of the day working hard to blot the image outta my mind’s eye. I’m getting queasy just now as I type this (stop, deep breaths – think of baseball, fighter jets, and sportscars – OK, OK).
So some of us are a little blood-phobic, even though intellectually I understand the nature of menstrual blood. That GF even said that sex helped with the cramps.
As BD has taught us, women are far more comfortable being uncomfortable than men are.
The odd part is that if I cut myself, the sight of the blood has no effect, except “Holy crap let’s get a bandage on this!” And no nasty mental afterimages either.
So when a gal tells me she’s having her period and we’ll have to entertain ourselves other ways, I just say, “That’s all right honey, I understand,” and score the points for being a Caring, Sensitive Guy(TM).
Back before my current GF had her hysto, I didĀ track her cycle. I never detected significantly noticeable mood swings, so Ā I guess I was lucky.
Excellent, practical topic, though.
– Vaquero357
Confucius said “if the river runs red take the muddy path”…..
“If the river runs red, take the dirt road home”
Im in this boat. Its an experience man…. if you haven’t seen or felt it, its not real to you. Trust me, its unreal! Ā I’ve made the last 12 women cum this way. Women will thank you if you learn how to do this. I read that study some months ago and its horribly basic and flawed. I would stop using it as a reference point.
When a man cums his fluids come from different places, right? I find that women are similar. To me the squirting is something like a man’s seminal fluids. Unfortunately to relax the area that makes one squirt also relaxes the muscles that control urination. So yes some pee can come out if they didn’t expel all of it before they start. But to say that its all pee and they are peeing on you is ridiculous to those in the know. I’ve only smelt urine once in dozens to times over multiple women. Ā I’ve also gone down on a chick and tasted urine because she didn’t clean… nasty bitches! LOL, I kid I kid. I think its just a part of sex and Im not into water sports at all. Ā That a bummer BD if its smelt for you… I’ve never noticed it.
The thing that keeps me doing it is the look on their faces after they cum this big. You literally own that ass. I guess I’m a giving lover but I love giving women the biggest baddest orgasm shes had in her life. I had one tear up once and say that she felt like she just lost her virginity again. I love it. I’ll never stop, pee or no pee. I’ll take that over blood any f-ing day. Because I don’t think women cum harder when they bleed… a few maybe… but not as a rule. When women are done squirting they can’t move. The ecstasy on their face is wonderful. I encourage you all to learn how to do this. It’s not the easiest task in the world.
I pay pretty close attention to my periods and symptoms and I haven’t used hormonal birth control for almost 20 years.Ā I’ve noticed several things that are my pattern.Ā Like would be expected, I get super horny right before and during ovulation.Ā I also get that way the day before my period, though it is much more difficult to get to orgasm that day (takes a lot longer).Ā I get more horny the day I am coming off my period too.
As far as having sex on my period, I’m really only okay with it when its a guy I’m already comfortable with and emotionally close to.Ā I don’t like to with new men or fuck buddies and really not with anyone on day 3 of my period because I tend to bleed heavily then and feel crappy and non sexual.Ā The first day or last couple of days the bleeding is lighter and its not so bad- I may even be horny. I do have a problem with a guy demanding a blow job when I’m not feeling well, because its selfish.Ā If I decide to do that, on day 3, then okay, but if he is demanding it, its just a turn off.
Emotionally, I tend to hit rock bottom the few days before my period starts.Ā Meaning I start feeling weepy, over sensitive, and very emotional.Ā All the insecurities and abandonment fears that are somewhere below the surface come up.Ā What I need during this time is NOT to be ignored, but comfort and reassurance.Ā About a week before I get a little cranky and snappy for a day or so- and I do get sleepy the first 3 days of bleeding- it drains my energy level, especially when I’m losing a lot of blood on day 3.
None of this is “learned”.Ā It’s biological.Ā I’ve tried very hard to control some of the emotional part and been unable to.Ā I don’t get near as much cramping as I did when I was younger, but I used to be laid out, literally, on the floor in pain and would throw up as a teenager, my periods were so bad.Ā Ended up I had endometriosis and surgery for it, which helped with a lot of that.
All that to say that every woman is different but men need to learn to have some understanding of women and that pms/periods are not just a figment of our imagination.Ā To place expectations on a woman to not be affected by it can be unrealistic and selfish.Ā Watching how a particular woman behaves and feels for awhile can help you learn how to deal with HER during that time.Ā The menstrual cycle is a part of life and there for a reason, whether we like it or not.
@ Kryptokate:
You meant “faze” not “phase”. Yeah, trivial, I know, I just cringe seeing intelligent people perpetuate mistakes like that. Our language appears to be on the fast track to losing meaning & clarity.
[So did I peak your interest? Oh, I meant peek. No wait, um …]
Their. Now I feel better.
ha ha
Except thatĀ it isn’t. Next time you make a woman squirt, pay very close attention to which hole it comes out of. It won’t be the big vag hole; it will be the tiny pee hole.
But hey, if you love it and your women love it, go for it! It doesn’t bother me, I’m just not a fan.
Read my first comment in this thread. That’s not exactly what I’m saying.
That’s fine as long as she’s not giving me period-drama. I don’t “deal” with women when they’re giving me drama, and the reason for the drama is irrelevant. I just soft next them.
If a woman isn’t giving me drama during a period, and she clearly wants to make me happy, then I’m as understanding as can be.
Yes, I will conceit the point that the squirting fluids come out the urethra. This doesn’t, however, mean that the fluid comes from the bladder. It’s been at least ten years since I did the research on how to do this but I believe some study said there is a sponge like tissue in the area that stores the fluid. AĀ chemical analyst of the fluid said it was similar to men’s seminal fluids. Trust me brother, I’ve smelt and tasted my fair share, its not pee….98% of the time. Unfortunately, to relax that area also relaxes the urethra and bladder. Theres that two percent. I have my women go pee first and explain the sensation. I’ll take those odds VS odds of getting blood on you during period sex.
Man BD, I’ve been reading your blog for years now. I appreciate you Ā perspective. Thanks for the work and putting good ideas out there. If there was one seed I could plant in your mind for further exploration from my life it would be this subject. Ā I would like to see what your spread sheets say about it….
@ lazy guy Ā Thanks. I’ll take the correction. š I don’t like to make that type of mistake, either. I think the reason “fazed” seems wrong is not because of the f but because of the z…so many fake/internet-speak words use “z” in place of an “s” that almost any word spelled that way now seems suspect.
@ lover girl Ā Good points. And yes, the menstrual cycle is “there for a reason”, but what is that reason exactly? Almost no other mammal females have periods… It’s because we have concealed ovulation that we have the menstrual cycle, and why do we have concealed ovulation? š Ā OK, that is getting overly philosophical, but it is interesting to consider how it fits into the bigger picture of human mating habits.
@ diggy Ā I believe you and am not discounting your experiences as I’ve heard other guys who have learned this magic trick to rave about it in the same way. What I don’t understand is how it’s possible to orgasm at all when one is very “relaxed”??? So relaxed that oneĀ loses bladder control?? That’s pretty damn relaxed, most adults don’t even lose bladder control when they’re asleep. Ā Plus the idea doesn’t make sense to me….my orgasms are preceded not by relaxation but extreme muscle *tension*. Every muscle in my body gets very, very, very tense as it builds up, like compressing a coiled spring, then the orgasm releases all that tension like an explosion and it is only afterwards that I am super relaxed to the point of being basically comatose. So I can’t comprehend theĀ idea of having a “relaxed” orgasm, that seems impossible.
Your honor, the defense rests.
Let me check what my my spreadsheets say about that….let’s see…yeah, here it is: “Don’t let chicks pissĀ in your mouth.” That’s what they say.
Like I said, if you want that stuff all over your bed and your floor and face and in your mouth, then more power to ya. Whatever makes you happy. I’ll pass.
Using a spreadsheet to monitor a girlfriend…..your humour is so laconic BD! But if that’s what it takes to avoid trouble andĀ maintain a man’s attractiveness then use it – I just cannot imagine a Beta guy resorting to this with his empathy for women’s problems.
Kryptokate ā Yes thatās exactly the way I would describe it for a normal orgasm; really tensing up, almost the need to hold your breath kind of feeling.
I think a normal orgasm and gushing are two separate things, but they can happen at the same time.
Diggy is right – with gushing, itās the total opposite (and thatās just me speaking for myself (for what itās worth)).Ā Itās really relaxed, thereās no control over it;Ā just how the two parts line up just right causes it.Ā The best way I can describe it is, itās like pushing down the lever on a soft drink dispenser at a fast food restaurant – itās just that easy. This is where those things they use to train dogs come in handy, like Tony mentioned above.Ā Iāve never felt unable to move afterward, but again everyone is different.
And Iām just speaking for myself here.Ā Trust me, this is all brand new to me and I never would have believed in gushing if it had never happened to me before.Ā I think it happens when certain people just fit together the right way.
@ Bulma 78 and Diggy et al
And when this squirt happens, women seem to want more. š I wonder why? It’s a very intense orgasm.
There is a host of information on the net regarding what is known as female ejaculation.Ā Paraurethral ducts and Skenes Gland are places to start. (The Skenes Gland is now being referred to as the female prostate when it comes to cancer definitions.)
Yes, ‘squirt’ comes via the urethra but before you go “eeewwww” where does man cum come from??? The urethra. One of the jobs of pre-cum is to clean out previous seminal fluid and urine (if any).
I have known this with two women and all I can say is, the fluid was the sweetest thing I’ve ever witnessed. Colorless, odorless and sweet. Almost sugar water. This may explain why analysis of this fluid shows that it contains fructose and sucrose.
BD, all I can say is that if you found it to smell REALLY bad, then you were unfortunate.
I’m sure all our readers and commentators know this but diet makes a hell of a difference as to how our naughty bits taste and smell in general š
@ Al — Yes, diet makes a big difference — Ā for your whole body. If you don’t eat junk food (preservatives & other chemicals) orĀ sugar ‘foods’, don’t drink alcohol, and don’t smoke, your sweat can be pretty much odorless, and women may tell you that your skin tastes sweet. Having this condition can be rewarding. The times when I’ve been with a woman whose diet was free of toxins, her natural scent & flavors were distinctly more reliably agreeable to me. Too bad this condition is not more common.
Diggy is right on this one. No pee smell from any of the girls I’ve made squirt.
Most girls have never squirted……making them do so puts you in a different league, which is right in the BD strategy to bang them good and make them cum. Plus it’s extra dirty, which girls love during sex with a dominant man.
I’m probably sleepy PMS. The pill helps with most of these symptoms too, I have found. It definitely helps with a lighter flow as well, which makes sex during that time a lot less gross feeling. Before I was on the pill, I did not enjoy doing it during my week. It was very uncomfortable. Luckily, I was with someone that respect that.
I track my MLTRs periods, but there are other issues:
1. You need to be more sexually aggressive after the period and slightly after ovulation. The second part of the menstrual cycle you need to dial it down and be more (“swallow”, gasping ) beta. Not actually beta, but 70% (from BDs 85%).
2. Day 1 is usually most nasty from a blood perspective. Try pushing it to Day 2 (at least).
3. 3-4 towels on Day 1 will do the trick. I give them the pleasure of washing it. If not, put it in cold water imminently and wash. Cold water take out blood stains.
4. Verbalizing to a girl that she is on her period and that she is more emotional (not bitching) does the trick. Since you lead and explain it to her, she will follow (and believe). She will feel better about it.
5. One of my MLTRs noticed that she gets more “angry” or “impatient” on her PMS. So she asked me to inform her when her period is expected to come. I know, I was amused as well.
Not all women squirt the same way,
there are at least two different ways.
one is
When a man cums his fluids come from different places, right? I find that women are similar. To me the squirting is something like a manās seminal fluids.
and the other is pee.
There may be even other ways.