Dating When You Live With Family or Roommates
Man, I get a lot of questions about this.
How do I score with that girl on the second date when I live with my parents???
What do I do if I have roommates???
Right off the bat, you need to understand that there are no good options for getting laid with new women when you live with family or roommates. I get the feeling that when a lot of guys ask me about this theyāre looking for some kind of magic bullet technique that will solve all of their problems.
Nope.
Iām going to give you many possible options to help you out with this, but if you live with family or roommates, all of them will be difficult, all of them will be a hassle, and thatās just the way it goes.
Thereās a reason Iāve pretty much always lived by myself (unless I was married to someone). I moved out of my parentās house when I was 18 years old and moved into a shitty little apartment by myself, and Iāve never had a roommate in my entire life, by choice.
Was it hard to pay rent all by myself while I was still a teenager during a recession? Fuck yeah. I was late on my rent and my utility bills all the time. I could barely drive my piece of shit car because I often couldn’t afford any gas. There were times I couldnāt get food at the grocery store because I was out of money. I had to bust my ass and work long hours, six days a week, just to barely survive.
And you know what? It was worth it. The freedom and flexibility I had by living alone was worth every inconvenience I had to suffer. If I had to live with my frigginā parents or a damn roommate once I was 18 years old, Iām pretty sure I would have killed myself.
Ohhhh here come the excuses. Yes, yes, I know there are always odd circumstances. Please donāt give me your excuses, Iāve heard them all. I will even address some of them in this article.
My point here is the best technique to give those of you who live with others and want to get laid is to move the fuck out and get your own place even if it sucks and/or itās inconvenient and/or if other people in your life might get upset. (Thatās their fucking problem.)
Iāll move on now, but donāt forget I said that.
Men who live with roommates / family tend to fall into three categories:
1. Younger, poor guys who (theoretically) canāt afford to live on their own and thus have roommates or still live at home with mommy and/or daddy. Some of these guys are full-time college students, some of these guys are working hard supporting their loser parents, and some of these guys are just lazy, either barely working, working for minimum wage with zero effort to improve their career skills, or not working at all.
2. Older guys who recently experienced a catastrophe (divorce, bankruptcy, business failure, etc) and are temporarily living with friends/family for the time being until they clean up their mess.
3. Guys of any age (younger or older) who, for whatever reason, have chosen to live in an ultra-expensive downtown area of an ultra-expensive city where they canāt afford to get their own place because of sky-high rents. Guys who live in London are an example of this, though there are many other cities like this (New York, Vancouver BC, etc).
These three types of guys are going to run into slightly different problems. For example, the 23 year-old poor guy might be able to have sex with a 20 year-old woman for the first time in his car, but the 38 year-old guy living with his parents because heās going through a divorce is definitely not going to be able to do this with a woman who is 34. On the flip side, that poor 23 year-old guy is not likely able to afford a hotel, but the 38 year-old guy probably will with minimal problems.
As I go through these options for having sex when you live with family/roommates (all of which will be a hassle and you will hate), just be aware that you may need to adjust these things based on the category that most describes you above.
Before I get into these, I want to reiterate something Iāve said several times before (especially here). That is, donāt use the fact you live with other people as an excuse. Stupid teenagers and young guys have been having sex while living at home with their parents for decades without a problem. I have personally spoken with numerous men of all ages living with parents or roommates who get laid. If all these guys can figure it out, you can too. Donāt be a pussy about this and stop with the bullshit boo-hoo excuses.
That all being said, here are your options. They are not listed in any particular order.
1. Coordinate with your family/roommates to be gone at certain times. Sit down with your parents/family/roommates and explain to them that you need one or two nights a week where they need to be gone. Yes, do this even if you are 20 and you are living with your parents. Get them to commit to being gone during these times. Throw a little money at them if you have to. Iāve spoken with guys who live with their moms, and they will throw 15 bucks at her to just get her out of the damn house to see a movie while they get laid.
Itās a hassle, and can even be a little embarrassing, but it can work.
2. Use your car. This only works with much younger women with lower levels of ASD (with exceptions of course) but it can work. Iāve done it.
3. Use a hotel. This can work, but fair warning, hotel closes almost always spike ASD. As soon as you tell a woman to come to a hotel with you for first-time sex, particularly if sheās over age 33, her ASD will spike and you risk losing it all. (Ask me how I know this.) It can work if you have the budget for it (Iāve done successfully many times) and it can also spike ASD to the point where it ruins everything (Iāve had this happen several times too).
If you get her into a hotel, make sure itās not a shithole. You donāt need to use a nice hotel, but you need to use a hotel that looks safe and clean. Once I had a super hot Asian girl with big boobs who was DTF for me but we were stuck downtown because of my bad logistics. I suggested a hotel and she agreed. I drove around with her in my car, like an idiot, trying to find a hotel. The first one I found was a shithole but I didnāt care because I was too horny and I didn’t want to stretch out the time by continuing to drive around. By the time we checked in and I got her into the disgusting hotel room, she was totally turned off and I got nothing that night. She even said, āYou ruined it.ā
Learn from my mistake. The best hotels to use are the cheaper, suburban āfamilyā hotels like Holiday Inn, which run about $90-$130 in most suburban areas. Theyāre cheap but not gross.
4. Coordinate with a friend (or family member) and use his home instead. Iāve spoken with several different guys who have done things like this. If your family/roommates wonāt cooperate with you, coordinate with a buddy and use his place once or twice a week for your sexy time. He can do it for you because heās your friend, or you can work out some kind of barter system with him (he lets you use his place once a week, you help him with his website).
5. Chip in with other friends and get a shared apartment or office. Three times now Iāve seen a small group of guys all chip in for an apartment for sexy time outside of the house (including married Alpha Male 1.0s cheating on their wives; they even made a movie about this). Iāve seen self-employed guys rent an office, retail space, massage parlor, or similar with other entrepreneurs where they share it 50/50 (or 33/33/33).
6. Have sex outside. Obviously this only works if the weather allows and youāre dealing with younger or lower ASD women, but Iāve had sex in small forests outside of a park. Youād think this would spike ASD, but interestingly, in my experience some women actually get a sexual thrill doing this because of the public / danger aspect.
7. Get a separate apartment or office on your own. This is obviously for higher-income guys only. This is what I do as part of my OLTR marriage. I have a small, very cheap office that Iāve set up as a small apartment (and a real office too) about 15 minutes from my house where I can meet my FBs. (I will discuss this office in great detail when I write the book on OLTR marriages.) Offices are much, much cheaper than apartments. And if youāre self-employed, you can write it off on your taxes too!
8. Try to go to her place. This is usually not an option since women always like to live with other people (roommates, sisters, friends, kids, boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, blah blah blah). Women also tend to be more comfortable having sex with a man the first time at his place rather than hers, since having a strange man over at her place seems more dangerous to her for irrational, biological reasons.
About 97% of all first-time sex Iāve ever had was at my place, but that means that 3% of the time I was at her place. Ask her if you can go there instead. Donāt push it if she says no, but certainly ask.
9. Use a friendās place (with no coordination). This is when you just take her over to one of your friendās places and use one of his rooms with minimal to no pre-planning or coordination. This only works with guys who have bigger social circles and/or one or two really close buddies whom you can just ādrop in onā whenever you like, Seinfeld style. Iāve seen some younger, college-age guys do this and it works for them.
So there you go, nine options for getting laid outside of your house when you have family or roommates living with you, all of which are a fucking hassle from hell.
Donāt you think you should just set a goal to move out of there and get your own fucking place?
Just a thought.
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The car and hotel have both worked for me but like you said, it was with younger women. Good post.
47 year old male here, have had plenty of car sex with women in there 30ās in the last few years. Ā Just have a plan before hand. Ā At night, have the spot picked out ahead of time. Ā Just have her Attraction level built up for you High! Ā Ask her the last time she had ācar sexā Ā most will say high school or college , and they get kind of excited at the thought.
Agree, I fall into the category of “helping support loser family member”, and it’s certainly not hard to work around. I just make arrangements to have that family member not around when I have women over.
At the outset I had some issues with talking too damn much, and blew it on the first date.Ā Now that I’ve gotten the kinks worked out it’s pretty smooth.
Even a little later when I tell them more, they don’t seem to have any problem with it (and some even talk about how admirable it is).
BD,you said that guys under 23 are prone to oneitis,and its nothing they can do about it.
1)Do youĀ really think that they have literally no control over this,or they are pussy and if they want to control this,they can?
2)What advice do you have for the guys who are under 23 and who will get oneitis?Should they make that girl an Oltr,in order to have more “control”?
3)If you are a young poor guy,and you will remain that way for the next 2 years,due to some circumstances,that are your fault,but for the next 2 years you can do nothing about it,do you think its worth it to live with an Oltr,in order to pay 1/2 of the rent instead of living with roommates,if that Oltr will let you fuck girls in that flat?
4)How much do you pay for your office per month?
Just going to throw this out there.
Renting an Air Bnb might be a much better option than a hotel.
You’re basically going to be walking back with her to a normal apartment/house which will avoid the whole weird vibe that might come from going to a hotel or motel.
” not my place. my friends and I were partying here for the weekend so I have it for an extra day”. Is a line that might work.
Car sex.Ā I disagree on women over 33.Ā They require more work (due to asd) but pretty much everything you teach works on them you just have to ramp things up and add in some latin lover.Ā You have to get them dripping wet on the date (not always but over 33 women are tougher) with flirting, touching, strength, aggression, and pda..Ā Throw in some venue changes (second bar) so they “feel” like its second(women tell me this)Ā Ā or 3rd date and it gets them in the same car as you.Ā Ā Once you get good you’ll find great places to fuck.Ā Shit I fuck women in hotel parking lots.Ā I started out in hotels but then I realized shes already going to fuck me so why not just do it the parking lot (big hotels with big dark parking lot) ?.Ā What am I trying to prove by going in the hotel?Ā That I can waste money doing what I can do for free?Ā She isn’t spending the night anyways.Ā Industrial parks are also great..Ā Lots of dark buildings with dark parking lots.Ā Can’t have security obviously or be a small town with small town police patrols.Ā I choose venue changes to bars in big strip malls with huge parking lots and no security.Ā I have one bar that has a huge dark parking lot on the side..
grease the wheels -> pitch venue change -> same car -> get that kiss (she’ll kiss you don’t be a pussy) -> new bar -> makeout at bar -> makeout in car -> pitch driving around -> get to one of your spots -> make out -> pitch backseat ->make her cum..
Obviously not every women goes for this but I’ve gone from meet to making a women cum in the backseat of her suv (mommies almost all have mobile sex hotels) in 2-3 hours many times..Ā I find out if they have a SUV..Ā That helps..Ā Cost? about $50 which isn’t bad considering I didn’t use a home or hotel.
Btw, none of these women I would consider “loose” or “sluts”.. They all have Game of thrones sized walls. teachers, engineers, mommies, and etc. In other words they don’t show up acting like they are horny, attracted to me, and ready to fuck. You have to create and work for it. Women are women.
Its completely rational: shes not sure yet what she wants with you and if you are a stalker creep. Its way safer for her if you don’t know where she lives. Also, people of both sexes tend to think its easier to leave someone else’s house than to kick someone out from yours, which isn’t really the case, but it sure is less awkward.
As long as you’re not living with your parents, just take them straight to your room and optionally put some music on and/or be relatively quiet. Problem solved. No big deal.
Admittedly, some girls might not be comfortable with this, but many will. Just have the second date nearby and explain the situation before you take them home. If she balks then maybe you need to move to one of the other options for the third date, but until then, why make it more complicated than it needs to be?
More or less, yes. It’s a generalization but the generalization is generally true.
Many of them can. They just don’t want to. It’s too “hard.”
Read this. (But it probably won’t work because you’re under 23.)
NO! No one under the age of 30 should have a girlfriend, OLTR or mono, as I’ve said many times. That goes triple if you have oneitis.
Wrong. You can do something about it. You just don’t want to because you think it’s too difficult. Don’t try to bullshit me.
What do you think my answer will be?
$350 total for two tiny adjacent offices with no windows.
Correct. When I say “hotel” you can always swap “AirBnB.” I should have stated that in the article.
Haha. Okay, I’ll amend what I said in the article:
“Fucking a woman over age 33 in a car for first-time sex could possibly work if you take a lot of extra time and effort and you understand your failure rates will be higher than women under 33. If you’re cool with all of that, go for it.”
Exactly my point. Way too much time and work in my opinion. But I agree it can work for guys willing to put in the time and higher failure rates.
I might be a creeper/stalker therefore she wants to come over to my house?
I see your point but it’s still irrational. If she feels like I could be a problem she’s more at risk coming over to my place than the reverse.
Most women aren’t thinking that strategically, particularly women under age 27 or so.
Depends on the scenario and living arrangements and the woman. Sometimes it is a big deal.
Definitely more work than under 33 but once you get to certain age (almost 50 for me) under 33 is more work, a higher failure rate (more messages more yacking that ends nowhere), or more money if you go SB route to get them to date and sex.Ā So in the end it is a wash. or for a lot of men my age just not consistently realistic..
I have minimum wage in Paris,and i live alone without problems.
Blackdragon,me 19,do you think its wise to spend a whole year,doing only pickup everyday,daygame+online game,in order to fuck a lot of girls, get to the advanced level in pickup and be set for life in this area?If i get to the 50 lays in 8 months or earlier,should i stop,because there is little improvement after that and focus on something else?
This is gonna sound weird, but I feel like here in southern california, girls respect you more if you have cool roommates and a cool house, vs living in an apartment alone.Ā I know several guys with decent careers who rent a big house with roommates and meet tons of women.Ā Maybe having cool friends and cool parties here really builds respect and attraction with girls in their 20s.Ā The group pickup thing is huge.Ā It’s like a guy by himself at a bar, who asks a woman to come home with him is a creep.Ā The guy with a group of fun people who invites you to come party at their pad is cool and likeable.Ā It’s almost like college life in this part of the country was extended into the early thirties.Ā I’ve met scientists and even a surgeon living this lifestyle in the beach party towns.
Not sure if you’re talking about roommates or housemates, but having housemates isn’t really a big deal if they’re cool with you doing whatever.
I have 40+ lays back to my place and I live with three roommates in a house. Most of my lays are the girl coming directly over for dinner, or to chill in my room and grab some drinks. Most girls don’t really care if your roommates are around, as long as they’re cool. And when my roommates are out of town, I’ll make sure to schedule more dates during that time.
I get way more value from having roommates than living alone, even if it would technically be easier to get laid if I didn’t have any.
The more you have control over a private housing spot or office the more control you have over setting up your sexual situations
#6 š
Perfect timing. I’ve been thinking of getting rid of my roommate since last july. maybe even earlier. Was thinking about pulling the trigger and imagining how much better it would be without them there particularly earlier this week.
They are not on the lease but I am. bottom line I can just not renew the lease, balls up and move out either way.
I like a lot of these even in the lock in phase in general on top of moving out. Particuarly nature sex (free date vibes) and might consider getting a downtown office space for downtown antics but not necessarily living down there. roughly speaking office spaces are not the same cost as Apartments right?
I have minimum wage in Paris,and i live alone without problems.
Blackdragon,me 19,do you think its wise to spend a whole year,doing only pickup everyday,daygame+online game,in order to fuck a lot of girls, get to the advanced level in pickup and be set for life in this area?If i get to the 50 lays in 8 months or earlier,should i stop,because there is little improvement after that and focus on something
@Timothee Doing game all the time will just burn you out. Youāll need to do other things otherwise youāll just end up hating the dating process. Also guys who just do pick-up and nothing else, tend to be socially uncalibrated (think ācreepyā) which women will pick up on. Twelve months isnāt long enough to get to an advanced level unless your a natural with girls and if you are, you wouldnāt be bothering with pick-up! Youāll get flakes, blow outs and blue balls before you get results but it will be nearer five years of consistent approaches to get very good. Also itās naive to think you can master dating in a year and to presume to know all there is to know, especially as your only 19.
Iād advise doing periods of extensive game with breaks where you go travelling, catch up with friends or develop yourself in other areas, perhaps by getting some ideas for an Alpha 2.0 business that will benefit you as you get older.
Sure, if you want, for about a year or so. I did something similar.
Yes. And you don’t even need 50 lays (50 lays in 8 months is a lot) unless you’re a Thrill of the Hunt guy and love the process of new lays.
I don’t think the difference is relevant. I’m talking about if you live with other humans in your home.
Yes, if they are cool with it.
Most men asking me these kinds of questions have roommates/family who would probably not be cool with it.
Well, the fact you’re doing that tells you that having roommates is a determent to some degree.
Sure, if you love having roommates, have them.
Most men I know who have roommates don’t like it.
Small offices are usually cheaper than apartments, yes.
It is also much easier to invite someone to your house than to invite yourself to they’re house.
I guess its also still part of her selection process she can see where you live and what you have at home so she can decide about you.
I am unclear on how AirBnB for sex would work. I have stayed in AirBnB on vacation, and every single time I had to personally meet the owner so he could give me the keys. If I’d showed up with a girl in tow pretty much advertising that we were going to get spooge and pussy juice all over his sheets then that would seem really awkward for all concerned. I guess if you had some sort of arrangement with the AirBnB owner such that you always had the key and could use the place on an as-needed basis with short-notice notification, that would work, but I am not even sure that is possible.
Technically true, but it’s no big deal to just say, “Hey, we can go to your place.” Even if she says no, it’s still not a deal-breaker. I’ve done it many times and never had a problem (regardless of if she said no or yes).
This is more an issue for provider hunters and gold-diggers which should only represent a small percentage of the women you’re trying to have sex with (ideally).
For most of my 12 years doing this, I lived in a lame house in a lower-class, white trash neighborhood with a horrible looking, overgrown lawn (grass literally 2-3 feet high) with nothing on the walls and horrible-looking, hand-me-down furniture, and I only lost out on sex with a grand total of two women out of the scores of women I had over at these places.
In my experience, using AirBnB internationally and extensively, that is only the case about 50% of the time. Just as often I need to go pick up a key from a mailbox using a code or similar, no real-life human interaction needed.
Regardless, you have a point; you need to really pre-plan and be strategic about AirBnB usage so as to not spike ASD while the woman is standing there looking embarrassed as you get your keys from another human. Though, as I said, this is a problem with hotels as well.
I wish we had a āLove Hotelā Culture like Asia. That would be sick.
I’m over 30 with 2-3 roommates, my sex percentage once I get a 2nd date is 40% and I’m no expert at this stuff, just follow the BD system closely. I’m also super picky, fit 7+s only. As far as I can tell, I don’t think I’ve lost any lays because of it and if I did it’s a small percentage. I do prefer the 23 year old types though.
I don’t even plan to have my roommates out of the house, I just get the girl in my room and go for it. I think I had a couple ask if anyone would hear us and I just said things like “walls are super thick” (they aren’t) or “oh roommate doesn’t care”.
Like most things with girls, if you don’t make it a big deal they won’t. I fuck loud too, so just cover her mouth if she’s moaning / screaming lol.
I can afford my own place, I just don’t mind and would rather the cash than a bit less hassle for now. Also, I get to live in a gorgeous house rather than the cheap place I would get on my own.
I guess they have it because everyone lives with parents etc.
Yep, its the lack of privacy. However at the end of the day itās still a hotel. I used them when IĀ was in Tokyo and sometimes the girls would be fine and just go in, other times their ASD would kick in and theyād refuse, even though you donāt actually deal with people in the hotel (you just press the room thatās lit up and then type in your card details and a key pops out).
I must have got the other 50%! Lol! Iāve used it all over Europe, North Africa and Asia and always had to deal with a person giving me the keys, explaining how things work in the place, where stuff is etc.. Perhaps AirBnB should have a flag on apartments that have auto key collection/return!?
Iāve never booked one for an evening, while on a date and Iād reckon a lot of girlās ASD would kick in if, sheās waiting in the room with the owner and you discussing stuff…
It would probably be better to book the room in advance and then schedule a couple of dates for the afternoon and late evening. That way your at least hedging your bets and hopefully will get laid at least once.
One tip for guys who are thinking of pulling a girl back to a hotel, is to find one that # has available rooms in your price range (natch!) and # has a nice bar. That way you can pick the hotel bar as a 2nd venue after your intial meeting spot (or first if your pretty sure the girl is DTF later) and then after escalating, suggest going upstairs in a short time.
If she agrees you can make an excuse about going to the toilet and just go to reception and book the room and then return and then both go upstairs. If she declines then, youāve not lost out.
Iāve done this a few times and never had any issues. Some girls never asked me why I was at the hotel (but probably knew!) Others did ask and you just need to have a plausible reason.
BD:Ā I’m wondering how the whole office think works out.Ā Wouldn’t legitimate businesses that have clients coming in and out hear you pounding away?Ā It seems like the other business people would get pissed and collude to try and have you kicked out shortly.
How do you get her from the 2nd bar and into your car again?Ā How do you pitch driving her to one of your spots?Ā It seems like getting her back in the car, and having her agree to drive to a parking lot; or the woods just to “hang out” would be the hardest part.
Yeah it sucks that we don’t even have any dollar per hour hotels in mid sized towns in the United States!
@NEIL
I agree with you.
Are you a daygamer?If you are and you approach 200 girls (hb7+),how many do you end up fucking?
2%,3%,4%,5%.
Do you use paul janka system,or london daygamers system,or other system?
Always her vehicle for me.Ā 1.Ā A lot of mommies over 25 have suvs (tinted windows and 3rd rows that turn into beds)Ā 2.Ā Makes her feel comfortable because she has control of the decisions (whether sex happens and you drinking driving).Ā You still direct the next venue so its all good.Ā Women hate choosing that shit anyways.
When you do the venue change you’re in her car..Ā She has to drive you back to your car when you’re done with the second venue.Ā
Sometimes sex right in the parking lot of the second venue.Ā I’ve already been making out with her right at the bar of both venues…Ā I get the first kiss over with within the first 3o minutes..Ā If they don’t go for it, which it rarely misses, then I know where I stand.Ā Still never been rejected for a second date after not getting a quick kiss.Ā But If they do then it’s on..Ā lots of pda sitting at the bar (always sit right at the and the bar is my couch), parking lot (my bedroom) of both..Ā Keep in mind this is just a technique that requires a lot of other things to be on point.Ā You can’t have weakness in your game to be good at getting sex on the first date and for guys like me I have to sacrifice putting off some “i’m the shit” type vibes.Ā Like I would be the most amazing bf ever (alpha, attractive, passionate, treat her pussy like Kobe Beef, not a douche, and etc)..Ā “that is if he calls me again after I suck his dick”.Ā “But he might so it’s worth risking it”.Ā Ā “Even though I think he’s a player”.Ā “But I’ve sucked a lot of douche bags dicks and at least he’s sweet and charming and I can tell he will make sure I cum so….”Ā “Why not?”Ā I can see all this shit going on in their sweet little women heads…Ā Of course a lot of women are already aggressive.Ā Ā Like something out of a movie stereotype.Ā I’ve been “sexually assaulted” (after I got them wound up) more times than I can count. Women are horny as fuck.Ā grabbing my dick, pushing me around, pressing me up against walls..Ā They’re animals.
So yeah getting them to go to a park to fuck is not a problem if you play it right..
Yeah thats a good strategy. If you have really a lot of dates in one day should work at least with one and if not hopefully the place isnt expensive.
I dont know if someone mentioned this but there is a trick. You can say you are visiting the city, because then its more natural you are in a hotel and she should go with you there.
I’ve tended to take bits from various daygame coaches and used what fits with my style of game. When I was doing a lot of approaches about three years ago, it was about 1 in 5 but I have been doing daygame for about ten years. Now I tend to it less as I have three girls in rotation and just approach when I feel in the mood as I also do nightgame and Social Circle game as well.
Yep, that’s fine if you are visiting. If you actually live in the same city, you can still use it but make sure you haven’t mentioned it to the girl beforehand in conversation. You could also say that your place is being renovated/decorated/you have a family event and so you’ve let them stay at your place etc..
1. Be very quiet.
2. Only get an office that is far away from all the others.
3. Only get an office that is not adjacent to any others.
4. Get an office in a very small office building full of part-time workers who often aren’t there.
5. Next any women who are too loud (I have done this).
6. Use a good noise cancelling machine.
I’ve been doing this for an entire year on pretty much weekly basis (when I’m in town) and never had a problem.
Think outside the box!
This is interesting. Not surprising, considering the way you described how you eat tuna with mayo out of a can on a previous post. But why would you live in a house under these conditions for so long? Especially not trimming your lawn. I could see right after you got divorced, not sure about years on end though.
That’s great if she doesn’t mind lying on stale Cheerio’s, Legos, granola wrappers, McDonald’s French fry sleeves, empty water bottles, juice box straws, My Little Pony figurines, etc. etc.
Legit. I’ll be getting my own place pretty soon.
Here’s the crazy CRAZY part: The people you live with, especially if they are family, will NOT let you leave. It’s ridiculous. They’ll either make up stuff to scare you into moving out or they’ll tell you constantly that they either need you or that you need them. I stayed with my folks for Grant Cardone’s 10x conference since they live close to Miami and it’s very much like a prison.
As I was ready to leave (you know, to make myself better and stuff which I feel is impossible around my folks since they just sit around the house all day drinking and smoking marijuana), my folks were demanding that I don’t leave and were telling me that if I didn’t stay a couple more days then I was a bad person.
Of course, true to their cowardly nature, they didn’t directly say this or anything.
I’m starting to believe that parents are abusive by nature and it’s some kind of temptation that they need to overcome. Oh yeah this includes BD (who has clearly overcome said temptation) and anyone else in this thread.
If you are a parent, the most abusive thing you can do is keep your kid around. Straight up. Boot that motherfucker. I would legit do that if I was a parent. I’d celebrate the high school graduation and stuff and then be like “alright my dude/dear, by this time next year, you aren’t welcome here. If you want to be homeless then be homeless if you want, I can give you some money to start your own place, but this place is off limits now.”
Of course I’D be the abusive one if I said that nowadays. Ugh.
As far as having sex with chicks when there’s roommates and parents around, the chicks who I brought home never really cared. The last chick I had sex with didn’t care that I was staying on my buddy’s couch even with him being at the house. And it was some pretty amazing sex. Then again these are meh looking chicks. Don’t know how it would be with a decent looking chick…
Because I don’t like spending money and I don’t care.
I don’t give shit about how my house looks from the outside because I’m never out there. I’m inside the house; that’s what I care about (and the inside is always clean and organized).
How the outside looks… I couldn’t give two fucks. That’s the neighbors’ problem.
(Yes, I realize that opinion sounds strange, but I’m outcome independent and I don’t give a shit about society.)
Shit gets tossesed, they love it, and donāt meet beasts on dates.. Ā stick to little women who can ride you… donāt do missionary in the back of a car or suv. 69, girl on top, from behind.. and do an inventory after.. Iāve lost a lot of shit in womenās cars
no shit… Ā thatās the shit i used to worry about when I was a sad married fuck needing that 2 hours a week of escape… Ā I do the very min.. Ā pathetic what men have been reduced to..
Good post!
Re: using a hotel ā excluding luxurious, city-centre hotels, I’ve found that middle-market chain hotels have served me best ā in the UK, chains like Holiday Inn and Premier Inn. They’re well known, clean, and look safe (and are safe), and you’re unlikely to run into any odd quirks (or odd staff members) when checking in or picking up the room key; I’ve had several bombs with one-off hotels that I’d never been to before. Also, it helps to know where the hotel is and how to get there, and if you want to have everything go smoothly it’s a good idea to find out beforehand (on-line or on the phone) if there are rooms available (without necessarily booking a room).
Almost all the AirBnBs I’ve stayed in have either involved meeting the owner to pick up the key (and often listening to dissertations about what to do with the rubbish, how the heating works, etc, etc) or else have involved picking up the key at another site using a number code. Neither scenario would be great if I’m looking to have first-time sex with a girl who’s trailing along with me.
I’ve lived with housemates twice, neither time for very long, when I was a student. The first time it was fine ā lots of parties, apart from which we all had girls in with no problems. The layout of the house, and the en-suite bathrooms, helped. The other time was a disaster, and I resorted to using a couple of friends’ places by arrangement ā not ideal, but it worked.
Now I live alone so I’m not worried, though I have used a hotel a couple of times in the past few months. I have on a few occasions let a friend in dire straits have the run of my place for an afternoon or evening. What goes around comes aroundā¦
If you dont trim your lawn,you invite burglars.
Yeah, it’s strange, but only because the potential hassle.
I’m surprised you never got on the wrong side of the grass police and had the city come out, trim the yard, then send you a big bill and place a lien on your property.
I’m a real estate agent…I see this crap all the time. Transactions getting held up because the seller won’t pay off a flippin’ $150 grass trimming bill with the city to clear the title for closing lol
As I said, I was in a part of town where it looked crappy enough to not be noticed to that degree. There were some shitty ass houses on my street. If I did that today it would be a problem (since I live in a nice neighborhood now).
However, I did have the landlord once tell me to mow my lawn. I just shrugged and told him I didn’t own a lawnmower. Which I didn’t, and still don’t, and never will.
Then he complained that one of the neighbors was complaining about my grass. I said, “That’s okay. Let them know that they are more than welcome to bring their lawnmower over here at any time and mow this grass if it bothers them.”
All I did was pay some Mexicans to come over and mow the grass three or four times a year when it got really bad. But that’s it. I just don’t give a fuck.
The house I’m in now includes regular landscaping included as part of the rent so today it’s not an issue.
BD u say men should not really think about Marriage type relationship until 35 right? Why? Does that apply to just cohabitating with your main chick too? Does it also only apply to men in certain Countries?
getting an airbnb is difficult and u potential waste money if the girl turns out to not going home with you.
its difficult to find a bnb spot where u can bring the girl there upon SAME DAy booking
Yes, in a lot of places its legally required to cut it at least 2-4 times a year depending on the place. So you were probably on the right side of laws and regulations with that.
“This can work, but fair warning, hotel closes almost always spike ASD. As soon as you tell a woman to come to a hotel with you for first-time sex, particularly if sheās over age 33, her ASD will spike and you risk losing it all.”
I’ve not found this to be the case with 40yo women, but they understood my open marriage arrangement on date 1.Ā When such women are ok with it, and have husbands/ex-husbands/kids at home, date#2 at a hotel gets them worked up (in a good, very easy way).
I haven’t had a roomie since college and that’s 20+ years ago.Ā I’d rather downsize to a little studio if finances were an issue than have people live with me to offset costs.Ā My sovereignty in my own home is a pretty high priority for me.Ā Having women over would be a huge pain in the ass with a roommate.Ā It was damn near impossible when I lived with my ex gf hehe.
Kidding aside, I still can’t even get my head around living with a woman again, let alone anyone else.Ā I was thinking I could do a 2 flat type home where we each have our own “apartment” so to speak.Ā Living in the same home just seems awful but I may change my mind down the road.
Hope your living situation with PF is going well Caleb!Ā Looking forward to future updates on that as well.Ā I appreciate your honesty about it all.
Right.
1. Living with a woman will heavily delay or even prevent your big long-term goals. Get those done first before you live with one.
2. Live-in relationships are extraordinarily difficult and you don’t yet have the relationship experience to make that kind of thing work. It will blow up in your face later.
Yes.
Of course not. (Though I can’t speak for the third world.)
It is! I will provide some kind of update once every eight articles here or so.
@Joelsuf
I have seen you mention on several threads that you sleep with ‘meh-looking’ girls.Ā Have you ever hooked up with a girl that you found yourself extremely physically attracted to in your entire life? I thought a core component of this website is strictly going for women you are very physically attracted to. I’m puzzled every time I read you mention that. Most of my life, I have slept with escorts, but on the even rare side of not paying for it, I have always, always dated or fucked girls that I was very physically attracted to.
Bang on BD.
I won’t even bother adding to this because it is a gigantic waste of time. And I have too much evidence and body counts to expand on this very important statement.
In short, this is what Midlife Crisis’ are made of.
I’m like him but I’m pretty sure you just have to be attracted to her.Ā It’s more about happiness and not sacrificing your happiness to settle because you are incapable of fucking women you find attractive.Ā I’ve been out with women who are say a 5-6 and not my ideal type but something about them.. I just want to hear them cum..Ā or they’re just sweet and kind and that makes them a 10 to me.Ā Shit some dudes love fatties or the recent thing where young hot dudes who can get hot young women are into older chicks.Ā I know because I hear stories from women (over 40) I’ve gone out with talking about all the young hot dudes trying to pick them up at grocery stores and gas stations.Ā Whatever floats your boat..
This is a great post. I was the older divorced guy. Though I could have easily afforded my own place, I moved in with my good buddy and after being married a long time, it was awesome. We had a ball. At the time, he was an older bachelor and welcomed the company. I donāt recall it particularly hurting my sex life. Maybe I was just so happy being back out on my own, dating and having fun that I didnāt notice or didnāt care at the time. It likely helped that we had an entire house for two guys. There was plenty of space to get away. Ā I did try to plan ahead though so he wasnāt home, if possible, or at least not sitting on the couch chain smoking and playing video games with a pile of beer cans around him. It was all good. He eventually got married (unfortunately to a batshit crazy, bitchy alpha from hell) and I quickly left and got my own place. It did help my sex life on the margins in that it was very nice, clean, didnāt reek of smoke, well furnished. It definitely put women at ease and I would guess, helped me get to sex more quickly. Iām fact, the weekend I moved in, I met a girl on Tinder from that town who gave me a lovely housewarming BJ, a great welcome!
Only a couple. And even then compared to what everyone else would think they would be “meh” looking anyways.
Getting with more attractive chicks is a hurdle I’ve been trying to jump for awhile. Thing is, I feel a lot of pressure around more attractive chicks. I don’t get scared of rejection or anything, it just feels like I gotta do different stuff. It’s stupid, I know.
I just gotta treat attractive chicks like meh looking ones. I’ve gone on tons of dates with decent looking chicks just haven’t had sex with too many. Which is dumb lol.
What is missing in your post: 100% of women wil ridicule you if you are iving with your parents at a certain age. You are immediately labeled a loser, not a real man and sexually unattractive. Sad.
Grigori Perelman:
Who cares what they think? A lot of them are hypocrites, anyway. I still go out off and on and talk to them, and I am 0ver 40 and I live at home. I would rather be me than some married guy who has the job that they approve of (don’t get me wrong, I want a job, but I have no debt, and I am not settling for some 60+ hour a week garbage. I have also read BD’s book, and have thought about doing the business thing, but I don’t know where to begin. I have no background in business).