The following is an except from my book The Ultimate Younger Woman Manual that I have expanded for the purposes of this article.
One of the more common questions I’m asked is, “I’m a really old guy. I’m X years old. Is it reasonable for me to expect to date/have sex with a hot 22 year–old? Or should I just forget about learning game or relationship techniques and just pay for sex?”
It’s a valid question. After teaching thousands of men these techniques over the last ten years, the age categories of men break down into something like this:
Men in their teens or twenties are younger men, not older men, so they don’t require any special changes in their approach with younger women. The advantage younger men have with younger women is, obviously, they don’t have to overcome the discomfort and negative Societal Programming regarding a large age difference.
The disadvantages younger men have are:
1. They usually have very little money, thus making them less attractive to females (and as the West continues its slow collapse, this will become a much bigger problem as time goes on).
2. They are extremely outcome dependent. Another unattractive trait.
3. They tend to be short-tempered, quick to anger, and put up with a lot of bullshit drama from women.
It is those aspects that actually help older men attract much younger women. But regardless, younger men don’t have to engage in any special type of dating techniques in order to score with younger women.
Men age 30-34 are also not what I consider “older men,” and these days, by and large, most younger women don’t either. As I’ve discussed on this blog before, men in the modern era are much more immature at older ages these days. Thus, most men age 30-34 look and act like younger guys. Because of this, they also usually don’t need to do anything radically different for VYW, though some adjustments might be required depending on the circumstance.
Men age 35-39 are indeed “older men.” Once you cross over age 35, younger women are definitely going to place you into that “older” category. The good news about men this age is that while they are considered “older,” they are often still youthful in appearance. I personally consider age 37 as the age where a man peaks in physical attractiveness, and some of my own informal polling in my real life and on the internet seems to indicate many men and women agree with this.
Men in their forties are still able to date younger women of any age, but the difficultly level is increased dramatically, and personal appearance becomes much, much more of a factor. Younger men can look like bums or dorks and still get to sex with younger women. Older men can not. Strangely, the older you get, the more important it is to keep up your physical appearance (if your objective is to date younger women, that is).
It’s important to do literally everything right when in your forties when dating much younger women, since the margin for error is razor thin.
Sugar daddy game, a game style where men find women on sugar daddy dating sites and either pay women for sex or imply they will pay, is an option for men in their forties, but it’s not required. I’ve dated VYW while in my forties without paying them any money with zero problems and I know many other men in their forties who do the same. But again, you have to do everything right, success rates/response rates drop to tiny percentages, and you really, really need to put in the numbers.
Men in their fifties break down into two subcategories. The first category, by far the smaller of the two, are men over 50 who are still reasonably physically fit (not like Schwarzenegger in his prime, but reasonably fit for a guy in his fifties), have decent skin, have a (reasonably) full head of hair (or a completely shaved head) and know how to dress well. If that’s you, then in terms of women, you’re essentially a man in his forties, so what I said above regarding men in their forties more or less applies to you.
The other type of guy in his fifties, a much more common type, is the typical fifties beta male who has let his physical health and appearance go after decades of monogamy or neglect. He’s either chubby with a big pot belly, or way too skinny with no muscle to speak of. He’s also balding, has poor skin and/or teeth, slovenly grooming, dresses like a dork, has weak, stooped body language, and has an overall beta male demeanor. He looks like the typical “dad.” Not a good look.
If that sounds like you, you must focus very hard on your physical appearance, and set a goal to maximize your appearance as much as humanly possible, even if it costs money and time to do so, which it probably will. Confidence, fitness, fashion, and grooming should be addressed heavily before you spend a lot of time going out to attempt to date much younger women (unless all you want to do is pay hookers).
While you’re improving your appearance, I don’t recommend you focus completely on VYW, since dating them at this point will be a challenge. Instead, you can temporarily focus on dating women within your own age range or focus on dating women much younger than you but not quite as young as VYW (women in their thirties, for example), or focus instead on sugar daddy game where some money is involved. I generally advise men over 50 who are still in appearance optimization mode to avoid normal (non-sugar daddy) game with VYW until they get their appearance under control.
I personally know several men in their fifties who are dating women in their mid-twenties, without paying for it, with no problems, but these are men who take the time (and money) to take extra care of their appearance and health, far beyond the typical Western beta male 50+ dad or grandpa.
Men in their sixties or beyond should either focus on sugar daddy game if they want VYW (which should not be a problem financially for you, since by the time you’re in your sixties you should have plenty of disposable income) or, if they optimize their appearance, focus on younger women in their thirties or forties. Non-sugar daddy game with VYW for men over age sixty isn’t really an option unless the scenario is highly unusual. If a woman as young as 22 is willing to have sex with a man over the age of sixty for no exchange in money or gifts, even if he’s reasonably attractive for 60+ man, she will at least expect some kind of payment, gifts, or support at some point in the interaction soon. Again, yes, I realize there are odd exceptions, but those are exactly what they are: exceptions.
This should not surprise nor bother anyone. When I’m well over age sixty I fully expect to have to shell out some money, at least to some degree, if I want to get funky with a woman in her twenties. As I said above, this shouldn’t be a problem because by the time you’re over sixty, money should not be a problem for you, and you should have plenty of it. Read this article here where I clearly state that every man over age 50 should have a net worth of at least one million dollars anyway, and sixty is a full ten years past that. (The comments from a few enraged Millennials in that article are a fun read too. I highly recommend you go take a look.)
If you plan on only dating women within plus or minus ten years of your age for the rest of your life, that’s fine, and you’ll never need to worry about any of this younger woman stuff. But if you plan on getting sexual with much younger women either now or when you get much older, now is the time to plan and prepare for this so you won’t have problems later in life when getting to sex with younger and more attractive women becomes more difficult.
Remember, Alpha Male 2.0 is a long-term lifestyle design plan. Living a great life in your thirties while letting everything go to shit in your fifties or sixties is not smart, nor is it a life path you want to follow.
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That is me, I am skinny-fat, I just look kinda skinny. With DEXA scans, my muscle mass in the arms and legs is lower than the average of the 5% LEAST muscular over 75 years old FEMALES. My testosterone levels is also in the normal range for 80 YEARS OLD men. I also have osteopenia, meaning low bone density but not as low as osteoporosis. I have feminine jaw line. That’s how bad it is, and I am only 37 and 173cm/5’8″ 62kg/137lbs. I have a full head of hair, but many white hairs now, and hairs on the temples have receded a lot.
But I really put the numbers and send thousands of openers automatically to thousands of women in dating sites. And it works. Using online dating and multiple relationship management advices, I mostly have sex with women in their 20’s. A bunch of them are between 18 and 21. A few were in their 20’s when I met them over 5 years ago and now they are near 30 years old. We are still having sex when I am in their city, with or without LNSFTE in between. I have the luxury to become very picky, and I sometime soft next or hard next women for, objectively, little details such as if she didn’t proprely receive my favourite kink, or if an MLTR is not paying as much when we are going out or doing activities, as I am and is asking a bit too often to do some. I also disqualofy a lot of women on first dates for details many men find ridiculous, such as if their seated height is over 90cm/35″.
So if I can do it, you can certainly do it, for starters the key is to out in the numbers.
Things change at 50. Mostly mentally. You start to feel a little weird about vyw, creepy, and a little guilty. Especially when you realize how much of a mess they are. And if they want to fuck a 50 year old they’re most likely a mess. Now if you want to it isn’t a problem. I actually find it easier to find, connect, and fuck vyw if you know what you’re doing. Some women want to use you as a daddy but from what I’ve found, they use that to excuse and justify their desire to fuck older men. I always decline their gracious offers for me to give them money.
@BD
I have a question about facial hair for dating VYW as an older man. I am 37, european caucasian, black hair brown eyes, my skin gets a “mediterranean europe” tan if I get good sun exposure, but please if you can elaborate your answer for each of the older men age ranges you mentioned that would be great.
If I let my beard grow without trimming it looks almost identical to the facial hair repartition of Keanu Reeves in this picture, with same hairless “holes”:
https://images.app.goo.gl/y9Qt1FR3vR9HobtL9
I feel my jaw line is very feminine/weak, so for first dates I like to go to the barber and get a “3 days kinda beard length” with this shape:
https://images.app.goo.gl/y9Qt1FR3vR9HobtL9
https://images.app.goo.gl/igPGT4Xg2MgeKch99
Except it looks like that around the mouth and chin:
https://images.app.goo.gl/9fp3JAFggAJ1CVkb7
I really like how I look when out of the barber, and I feel it even boosts my inner confidence and masculinity. I have had a few very negative feedback by a few females but I think they never met me in person. Then most females seem to like it. However, many females also express the desire to see me completely shaved and their argument is that I look much younger and still very handsome without the beard. So far I have been completely ignoring their feedback, considering they have no idea what they are talking about.
However, recently I have been wondering whether there is truth to their judgement, in particular: should I completely shave for first dates when I am targetting VYW? What do you think BD, should older men completely shave their beard before a first dates with VYW to maximize their odds?
Also, going back to the few women who gave very negative feedback on my beard before meeting, a couple of them explicitely asked me to shave completely and send them a selfie or they would not meet. They both were between 18 and 21. I didn’t want to submit to that request so we never met. It felt like betaisation to me. Am I wrong, shall I have done what they asked for?
You should try it both ways and see what works for you.
My online response are much better when I have pictures of me with a very short trimmed beard.
But it’s not 100% about baiting women is it? If you wanna rock a Duck Dynasty style beard go for it.
The older guy aged 40 and over has to be a lot more extremely diligent with regularly having his shit together, with his diet/nutrition, grooming, he shouldn’t ever smoke, or drink alcohol (or drink it only very sparingly if you enjoy beer, spirits, or wine) and with his health and fitness, so he always has a totally flat stomach, as working out only 1, 2, or 3 times a week, just isn’t enough.
The ‘creepy’ thing is only in your head if you’re an older guy, but for me it’s not an issue, because I follow everything in modern pop culture in TV (except reality TV), movies, music, books. The only thing I’m not into is videogaming, but if you are, there’s a lot of younger women who are gaming nerds, some of whom are pretty hot, while others definitely aren’t.
If it’s in the head of a younger woman who tries negatively projecting that shit onto you, it’s up to you to have developed good enough inner game to be totally unaffected by it, as you refuse to accept it.
Having a totally flat stomach? Nah, I can tell you from personal experience that isn’t needed. You need to work out of course, if only to maintain the muscle tissue you have at the moment. But I never found that having a small belly (with emphasis on small) was a turn off. But then again I’m quite large length wise and have wide shoulders and a wide upper body. That makes a potbelly seem smaller.
I would advise however against looking like you’ve got a bowling ball stuffed under your t-shirt. Especially if the rest of your body still is quite thin, it makes you look like E.T.
100% agree with non smoking and cutting down the alcohol. There are the obvious healthrisks with smoking, lung cancer, heart problems. It’s really bad for your skin and makes you smell like a corpse.
Cutting down your alcohol intake will work wonders for loosing weight, improve your skin and sleep rythm. And there’s nothing more annoying than a drunk middle aged man.
It’s completely doable!
Society just tells us that we are supposed to date women closer to our age or no more than a 5-10 year gap..
OR that a man over 35 shouldn’t be hooking up with girls under 25, not less 18-21 years olds!
YET women who criticize us went for these older guy all the time when they are that young..
AND when an older chick 35-50 hooks up with an 18-25 year old guy.. “Women and Society are like Oh You Go Girl” and “Oh She’s So Empowered”..
So yea don’t let that part bother you..
Yep! This stuff works, folks.
100% PURE FALSE SOCIETAL PROGRAMMING.
I’m not 50 yet, but I promise when I hit 50 and post-50, I won’t be experiencing those feelings. It’s your job to clean out SP within your mind. You can’t be happy long-term as a man if you don’t do this.
Even if that’s true, it’s A) completely irrelevant to having FBs (which is all these women should be) and B) nothing wrong as long as you aren’t lying to these women and treating them nicely, which you should be doing already under Alpha Male 2.0 relationship models.
Good.
You’re going to have to test it either option and make careful notes.
The challenge with older men going after younger women and facial hair is assuming 100% of your facial hair is not white (if any of it is white that is a no-no and you must dye it), having facial hair does look better than being clean shaven to most women, but it also makes you look much older, which damages your ability to attract the much younger women. It’s a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don’t kind of thing. So if you have a really weak or feminine jawline (I don’t have that particular problem) maybe you should test with facial hair.
I’ve been 100% clean-shaven for about 2.5 years now, but I’ve already accomplished all of my woman goals and 100% of any new women coming in (what few there are) are always VYW or close to it. But if I was in hardcore sarging mode for any/all new attractive women, I’d grow my goatee back in a heartbeat. (Then I’d shave it off when I had acquired all the new women I wanted, since I personally don’t like the upkeep having perfectly groomed facial hair requires, even though I admit it looks damn good.)
Correct.
Yeah oddly you can’t let your own male biases cloud your thinking sometimes.
I’m only 31 so am not an ‘older’ man quite yet.
That said I have developed a bit of a pot-belly (187 lbs at 6 feet so nothing crazy) like carrying +15 or +20 pounds extra from lean & mean.
Surprisingly, girls will comment/ make fun of my belly a bit when I’m naked but most say they like it. I don’t fully understand it. That’s probably because I definitely WOULD NOT like it on a woman, but apples and oranges.
That said, you can’t do everything for women. I don’t particularly like it, especially for health and athletic reasons, so time to get on another Diet.
im 27. on it. more than doable with the premier alpha 2.0 lifestyle course coming up!
I heard a story the other day at my work from this older woman who told me about how the man she married told her he was 39 but he was really 52 (pre internet) and she was 26 at the time and couldn’t tell or care since he looked good and healthy and stayed in shape. she was his 6th marriage and he had 11 kids…most of whom she didnt find out about until much much later.
thought it was interesting and an idea of whats possible if I take out the bad and keep the good.
also is it just me or do girls get hotter/more attractive every year? like some darwinian progress thing genetically on top of, of course, better living standards.
just my observation but for instance a hypothetical 22yr old now is hotter than a 22yr old from 10->20 years ago, etc all the way back as far as you want to go.
and 22 year old girls ten years from now are somehow even hotter than what a 22 year used to be etc.
if so I certainly want to keep dating younger women as long as possible as I cross that threshold of being an “older man.”
super abundance
If a woman likes you, she will like nearly whatever you do or have. Or at least act like she does. It’s probably something else she likes about you a lot. Also women are often a lot about the totality of things: so if she likes you as a whole she will think every part of you is good including things which clearly arent – that is also very common. Another thing is that women like to feel safe / that you are strong. Sometimes on some men this can give that feeling. If you do get ribbed very fast and then see her again I bet she will be all impressed and tell you how much better it is. If it went the other way and she really liked you shed also say she likes it. Get the point?
This is def still possible these days and it is def true that many women won’t care about a lot of stuff if they do like you and you doing things correctly but most of the time you will need to be the one to tell them on your own and at the right moment. If she finds out on her own it’s gonna be most of the time very bad if you lied because women are obsessed with trust and then she feels it isnt there.
Personally, the older I get the more turned on I am by women much younger than me. I am 33 now and I really wanna fuck women 23 or younger, and the younger the better. Though I have to say a lot of the 23 year olds you cannot really tell if they are 23 or 19 by both behavior and looks and they aren’t that hard to get (18-20 are really difficult for me for some reason). The 3 women I am seeing right now are 23, 24 and 27 so I especially want under 23 now.
I also have no problem with paying for very young and very hot women so long as I can easily afford it and would be happy to do it as long as its a sugar game and not a regular prostitute and as long as shes indeed ultra hot and ultra young (because other women I can get for free easily).
If I look at older pictures from the past then it was just as good back then. I think it’s that the older we get the hotter the women who are (much) younger than us are to us. It’s also the fact that our pool is extended since we still wanna fuck the women we wanted to fuck when we were teenagers but as we get older we also wanna fuck women who are older (maybe up to some limit). I also noticed that for me my likes changed or evolved and that there are more women I find hot. So then it looks like loads of women are hot!
I’ve unfortunately noticed (I’m 34) that each year after 28-ish, I get less and less young women (20 – 25) matches on apps/dating sites. At 34 now, I’m considering putting my age as 29 (I look 27-ish as I’ve taken care of myself really well). Many women just put their age match range within a few years of of their own vs if we met in real life, they literally wouldn’t care how old I am.
It’s pretty much required if you want to meet younger women once you hit 30. I have experimented with this extensively and it does work and every time I tried different age I got completely different matches. Yes it’s true if they met you in real life they don’t care most of the time whereas online they think if you are over certain age youre gonna be bald/grey hair and not be able to talk about anything together. I have fucked women by adjusting my age who told me they would not have swiped yes on me if they saw my real age but of course now they don’t care and are very happy with me.
It’s not just you. Makeup is prevalent now more than ever in our society. Also attractive female hairstyles are radically different today vs the 1980s/90s. Back then women had curlier, messier hair and most likely stuck to their natural hair color. Today, most women either straighten their hair or put highlights in it, which looks more attractive. Breast and butt implants and facelifts also weren’t as much of a thing back then. Advancements in technology and cosmetics has allowed older women to look younger and younger women to look 3 notches hotter than they really are. There is a 40yo mom of 3 at my work place who could pass for mid 20s only because she cakes her face with makeup. But her IG photos reveals all her wrinkles. If things keep going this way, the hot women of tomorrow most likely won’t even be human women… they’ll be sex robots that look like hot porn stars/actresses. Not that I’m complaining…
I think back to the societies where men could only breed after reaching certain goals, such as 20 years in the military or leading the hunting party. To be well built in somewhat older ages (below 60) is a massive signal of genetic fitness if it shows that you’re a warlord who came through many scraps.
I laid my Warlord Theory of Aging Male Looks to a female doctor friend of mine, and she was intrigued…..she asked, what’s the female analogue? I said there isn’t one, hold onto youth with all your holding. She grimly said TRUTH.
I am talking about Blackdragon books by the way, “BD” probably dissapeared with a typo.
Indeed, once or twice a year I get annoyed of the upkeep and also of the kissing sensations : I find it better when completely shaved. So I shave for a few weeks, but I usually quickly grow back the neatly trimmed 3 days short beard because I like it so much more in the mirror. When I am visiting my parents in the boonies once a year with no dating prospect whatsoever, I usually just let my beard grow and trim it myself only about once every 10 days.
🤣
Regarding the bit about staying in shape and making an effort to look good ….
I think you probably lose more points for a crappy haircut or a pot belly or cruddy teeth than for something like a crooked nose or a bit short. If it’s something you have control over but you let it slide, you’re sending a serious message that you can’t be bothered. Women notice and appreciate an attempt to maximize your available assets. You signal that you take pride in yourself.
I can’t post on this subject without gloating a bit about the different attitudes in Asia regarding age difference. It’s not set in stone, it’s a cultural construct.
lol sorry if I was confusing but yea was talking about all naturale improved genetics with every generation. should have known better though.
Is there any news on a longer sales vid for the Alpha 2.0 course being released this month, as BD’s very short one was way too succinct.
Women just go through different stages in life: the hot girl everyone wants to fuck who can have her pick of guy(s), the mother and the granny. It is to a large extent to her how she makes the most of each of those stages and when she transitions (within some limit). What I see these days though is most women living like as if they were a guy and not being aware of this at all / or acting like this doesn’t exist and if she takes too long for the transition she may end up having to skip the mother stage and go straight to granny.
Thumbs up @CTV comment above: best comment yet.
Some guys discover game late in life.
It is never too late.
Become the predator.
Give women the prey role.
Even Daddy game works. What am I saying, Daddy game is the NAME.
Every pimp knows that.
You are the prize.
They are the game.
Side note for younger guys. I was watching this video, and a guy made a deep statement I never thought about before: Do you ever wonder why women, in general, don’t like video games ? It is because we are their game.”
We need to reverse that. Play, don’t get played.
One thing I love about BD’s blog is how he discourages schadenfreude.
I did came across a post on the “gender critical” subreddit and honestly those ladies are about as “red pilled” as women come. There was one post about being “over men” and it was this…exactly this. Just seething resentment over being passed by, and being sold a bill of goods about having it all. It’s nothing to celebrate.
Women are in a hell of a jam. If I had the ear of an 18 y/o woman, it would be hard to not advise her to have her babies right out of high school, and go to college (little to no debt!) or launch a career when her kids start school. The idea of going to school and launching a career just to take a 10 year break seems like utter insanity to me. In the best case her skills erode as time passes by. In the worst case, she’s unable to find a suitable man to breed with.
Suggar Daddy game is becoming way more accepted as a common tactic amongst VYW. Society, on the other hand, will take a little while to accept that as part of the dating scene (maybe it will never come around, but who cares?). The same happened before with tinder, and now look where we are: people in their 40s and 50s are using it to get someone on a date.
I don’t use sugar daddy game yet, but I see no problem doing it in the future when I reach my mid 50s early 60s. And I’ve always agreed with your prediction that we are one app away from a revolution on the whole online dating thing. Cannot wait for that to happen!!!
One of the things I loathe in life is when people who use buffer to forward falsehoods for (insert ego driven reason here). So, when I read this:
This is 100% buffer, and 100% untrue. All any woman who wants a man has to do to catch one is slightly lower their standards. Not to the basement, just slightly. Anyone who’s been in a big city bar approaching closing time has seen this in action.
BD wrote (in a roundabout way) a couple of weeks back that men take all kinds of bad behavior from women. If there was a scarcity of men around you summise, this bad behaivor would stop and someone in the sphere would have noticed it and wrote about it.
Let me share an important lesson learned in college. At the time I gained a small amount of weight — maybe 15 pounds. Then I got back in shape. Suddenly I was getting IOIs all the time from women. Just walking down the street I’d get smile after smile.
Yes, you will still get women if you have a belly. But getting in great shape makes a HUGE DIFFERENCE in the number and quality. Even at age 50 and foolishly +20 pounds again, I get women approaching me occasionally, though they are not very desirable. Go low carb and f**king stay that way.
C Low, the bad behavior DOES NOT have to be taken. It has nothing to do with scarcity. Set boundaries in your relationships. When a woman misbehaves, use that as a teachable moment. Tell her in a nice way that she will not be your friend if that continues. Most of the time that works. Even if it doesn’t, she will respect you a lot more.
Women misbehave because they don’t respect you. That happens because you are pedestaling them or ignoring their bad behavior. They want and need you to be more alpha.
I think someone missed my point. To clarify:
Agree.
Disagree. If there was a situation where “women are in a hell of a jam” it would go away overnight. Women have the ultimate in abundance mentality because they know how replaceable men are.
I’ve moved around California a lot in the past five years, and I can tell you that if you go somewhere like Santa Barbara where the ratio of available women to available men is favorable to men, the older women are all thinner, fitter, and more amiable.
Compared to someplace like Bakersfield where there are 35% more men than women, where they are all fatter, out of shape, and entitled like you can’t imagine. The change is stunning over such a short physical difference.
Always healthy behavior, but irrelevant to my point, which is:
Buffer is just repackaged social programming. Snap out of it.
They only say that after you’ve had sex with them twice. By that point their entire view of you has changed. But if you went around doing daygame with your belly hanging out (for example), they wouldn’t “like it” at all and your results would take a hit. (You could still get laid. You’d just have to work harder.)
Correct:
4 Essential Alpha Male Traits That Will Make Your Life Awesome Regardless Of Women
My opinion is that younger women are getting a little less attractive and older women are getting a little more attractive, as I talked about here, but to be fair, both trends are small and barely noticeable.
Yes, that is normal.
Haha, yes!
They aren’t… yet. They’ll be in jam when the cheap and viable sex robots arrive.
Oh yes. An entire webinar. Coming in a few days. Stay tuned.
As if learning, and employing all the time, game and the rest of the techniques, were not a way of paying.
It’s about in what way to pay — unless someone finds the above entertaining; I think for most is work-like.
It depends how you look at it: from your point of view or the women. This is quite important because to you it may feel like the same thing but it def does not to her and this affects the way she will behave towards you and whether a relationship is possible and how it might play out. When more than just you is concerned you need to consider not just how it affects you but how it is perceived and understood by others involved because that will then def affect you (though perhaps later). If all you want is one night stands then it makes no difference perhaps, but even with long term fuck buddies it def makes a difference.
Yes but many women are not fully aware of this in most places. Plus many women are so insecure they always fear they won’t manage the next time round. If you don’t want to work hard and put in massive numbers I have observed hunting for such women is extremely effective and they are super enthusiastic and adaptive if they think you are a catch for them. Ive had women who knew they could loads of men easily but none of those men were what they really wanted. The thing is women dont like to or arent able to pick up the men they want very easily so they just mostly rely on men who come to them (partly because they are used to always having this) but this means most of those men arent what they want (since they just wait for whoever approaches them) this gets super frustrating to a lot of women being repeatedly hit on by the wrong men. Ive had attractive women tell me they were scared in the first few dates with me that I would not come back because I was so much better than all those other losers they went on dates with and they did not want to go back to those men. Just make sure you arent one of those losers and you will see how easily the tables turn.
Most of the women who it works with longer term for me are women who know I am very dominant and who love it. So when she would do something like this this I would either lecture her (I have a girl who loves being lectured by me) or tell her to stop talking and take her clothes off and if she refused Id just grab her, throw her on my bed, tear her clothes of with my teeth and fuck her whether shed want it or not (I have another girl who has fetish for exactly this – to the point she comes within a few minutes if I do this, sometimes more than once). After the sex there is usually no more discussion and just cuddling or if we fucked for hours then “what’s for dinner?”. If you are a dominant guy and are dating a girl who isn’t submissive then obviously it’s your own fault for making that relationship serious – should have kept it causal and then who cares what she thinks / wants?
This.
Hi BD, do you think building 6 packs are extremely necessary? Or talking to chicks (building emotional strengths) are more vital in long run. (If you could only choose one of these two)
The latter.
Six packs are fine if they’re a product of your healthy lifestyle i.e. exercising regularly, sticking to a strict diet, wanting to excel in sports etc..but unless you live near a beach, a woman’s only going to see them if she’s alone with you at your/her place.
Six packs won’t help a guy who doesn’t know how to chat, tease, flirt and build attraction with a girl.
If your out of shape then you should look to be in good shape, especially as an older guy but chasing after a six pack just to impress girls is a waste of time.
Absolutely.
Not to mention that it’s not a matter of choosing one thing or another. It’s a decathalon.
@neil
i think online game works well for muscular guys cause they signal ”short term breeding material”, while day/night game focuses on verbal game. Still, a muscular may still have upper advantage during a date because he has physicality allowing ”her” to escalate onto him (kino), it creates more topic and not only it shows he takes care of his body, he also is knowledgeable (again, hypergamy)…
Yep, an older guys needs to make sure all his eggs aren’t in one basket.
Possibly, but a woman is going to need more that a photo of a guy topless (unless that’s the only type of guy she wants). Remember there’s a big difference in what constitutes a “sexy guy” to women. For every woman who just wants a muscular guy, there’s lots who want a guy who looks like he has social skills and other male DHV’s.
Again, the only women who would do that are girls who are so massively into ripped guys that they’d initiate touching him, without him doing anything but “looking ripped”.
I’ve had lots of girls give me hand jobs in bars, girls give me blow jobs in cinemas & f—ked girls in alleyways and toilets but I still had to demonstrate male polarity first by leading & escalating, not the other way around.
Remember human biology differs from sex to sex; men are attracted to physicality whereas women want an Alpha male, not just in looks but status, charisma, life experience etc..
I’m not sure what you’re saying here; do you mean by the guy being muscular it equates to him being knowledgeable? I can’t see the connection but elaborate if you are saying something else!?
Looking healthy is just one part of the puzzle. Things like charisma, charm, leading, a strong frame, being non-needy, status etc.. are also just as if not more, important.
so. much. buffer.
Stop reading Rollo and do something to move your life forward with the extra found time, wouldya?
no need to be muscular if you are in shape;
no need to be muscular if you have good pics;
no need to be muscular if you know how to behave socially, tease her and do proper sex talk on a date;
“I must have six packs to get laid” is just another crutch, like “I must have a nice car” or “I must have a beautiful face”.
I am a very muscular dude, but what gets me laid is sense of humor, wits and pushing their right sexual buttons, plus good logistics once the deal is close to be done. Before I got into that stuff, my results were meh, no matter how big I got.
Being muscular will get you attention, but attention alone is not enough!!!
Correct. It is.
Why would you ask such a stupid question? Do you think I have a 6 pack?
What do you think?
I think I have mastered everything now except for sex talk on dates. I still almost never do it on dates and have still absolutely no idea how to do it. No one has been able to explain it. I read BD’s book on get to sex fast specifically for that part and to me it did not explain it in sufficient detail. I am sure it is affecting my results so I am wondering if someone can explain it how to actually do it.
If you’re getting laid anyway, dont worry about it. I hardly ever talk “sex talk,” unless they seem to be into it. Kino is much more important. Just hold her hand confidently, chat and joke, it’s enough. I admit kino was something I had to consciously learn, but its critically important.
The other day, I asked an FB if she remembered the first time we dated, and what did she think. She said, oh, I was quite nervous and shy, but you seemed relaxed and like you were having fun.
That’s more important than scripted sex talk.
Yes, most of the girls I got was just doing that. However, I think my results are still not what they should be – i.e. it’s not reliable enough. I figure the only thing I am not doing, other than practicing more the art of conversation and outcome independence is the sex talk.
Just ask her about her dating life and segue from there to juicier questions, while feeling out the water (without looking worried though): if she keeps answering, keep going; if she gets offended, stay chill and adjust the topic.
Yeah I know but how do I specifically do the part “and segue from there to juicier questions”? It’s not clear to me. I am extremely sexual and have a very dirty mind and have sex talk with my women a lot but its completely unnatural for me to talk that way on a first date with a stranger and have no idea how to get to that topic in a natural way. Saying to just change to that topic is about as helpful as saying that to get sex I need to meet a woman. So I am asking how exactly to do it?
“So, what’s a nice married woman like you doing on a dating site, then?”
Turned 37 about 6 weeks ago. Let’s gooooo!! lol
Is this a joke? I guess it could work if she was actually married, I never had a date with a married woman. Could be interesting though. Usually I don’t ask them what they want on dating site because answers are stuff like oh I don’t know just looking around, or looking for a serious relationship, and what about you? or that they want some new friends.
I’ve never had a woman tell me she wants fuck buddies / ONS, even if she did want that. And unless she would say that I have no idea how to get the conversation to sex.
Why is it that on these blogs for everything you’re supposed to do in dating there are like pages of detailed step by step explanations, but whenever sex talk is mentioned it’s just like one or two sentences which are extremely vague without any details or example given are extremely situational that cannot be used reliably?
It’s all apart of a natural, fluid progression…. There’s nothing really to explain. If you listen most women will give a que.. Then I take the que and smoothly and gently run without making her feel like a whore and without assuming she’s going to fuck me. For instance I had a woman ask me if there was anything else “I could fit in my ring beside my finger?” I took that as meaning my dick but I didn’t just come out say “Why you like big dicks’? I instead just simply smiled and said maybe my other fingers but nothing else I have is fitting in there. Then asked why she’s asking with a non-pathetic, non-desperate grin. Like I get asked that shit on every date type look. Like I’ve been there before. She laughed and went in to how she went out with a gorgeous guy but he told her he had a tiny penis and asked if that bothered her. It did she said. I didn’t pull my dick out to show her. Just assured her it’s all good. Women like the lead up. The playing. The flirting. But they never want to be taken for granted that they will fuck you or made to feel like a whore. Keep that in mind and listen for ques and then have the confidence and balls to go there.
In the end it isn’t a requirement. If it happens it happens. I don’t force it.
Yeah that’s it, I don’t force it. So most of the time it isn’t there at all because it just doesn’t fit. But BD talks about how you need to force it, or it does sound that way. So I am wondering more like how to force it. All the examples aren’t very useful because they are all super situational, unless you can give me some standard conversation script that works most of the time.
I can’t. It’s a very good tool to have but I get laid in the exact amount of time with or without it, overall.
Yeah I do get women without it also but I was just hoping to get some easy fix to improve my meet to lay ratio, but I guess that’s not how it works.
I believe that’s because the biggest obstacle to overcome is in the man’s head. Either he is afraid to start talking about sex, or he blurts out something creepy.
Having gained some confidence over the course of several dozen first dates, I just ask and they just reply, as simple as that. She tells me about the time she went to the seaside, I casually ask her opinion on sex on the beach. She says something about an ex-BF, I make a guess about some aspect of his sexual prowess or lack thereof. Etc.
Social calibration, the skill of predicting how she’s going to react, is the one thing that’s damn hard to teach. I doubt anything but direct experience helps. Sex talk relies on calibration heavily.
thats were the rubber meets the road right there. If they meet you theyre attracted enough, physically, to fuck. I work on them wanting to fuck me. Women don’t go from sex talk to fucking usually with me. It’s progression physically more than verbally. I let them talk, I sit there and listen for every single opportunity to touch them. Personally I only worry about physical contact. Sex talk doesn’t get me anywhere. By the time sex talk happens I’ve already had my hands all over them ( non sexual parts) sucked on their lip (they know what that means and love it), and kissed the back of their neck. Usually at the bar. I act like a harmless sweet guy who’s charming, cute, smooth, well dressed, but kind of a dangerous player, Uber confident but not a douche, and I get away with it(the touching) That’s the persona I’ve created and Sex talk doesn’t fit my persona. Be who you are, incorporate bits here and there from others, perfect the routine, and you’ll be a even more of a killer than you already are. That’s IMHO
True, it does depend on how you present yourself to women. I’m apparently a less aggressive man than you are, for that reason I prefer to be seen as a laid back cool guy who’s moderately interested in what kind of person this chick is, so she better tell me more about herself in order to earn some validation. This persona is very much compatible with sex talk. This approach, however, has bitten me in the ass because to some women I seemed too aloof and disinterested, causing them, in turn, to withdraw and reject me, which is certainly something to keep in mind and avoid.
I’m not going to post any links because I don’t know how to do it and avoid moderation jail, but everyone should master “how to ask probing questions” – google search a little and read up articles for people who do telesales.
Then apply the concept to sex talk. It’s super simple.
Being myself 50 years old, in the last two years alone I have fucked about 20 women with average age 25 years old (I, too, keep track of my girls in a spreadsheet). 4 of them were 21 or 22, 6 of them were 28 or above.
Not sure exactly why the focus is on VYW (which, by BD’s definition, means women up to 22 years old). Yes, very possibly the younger girls (VYW) are harder to get for an older man, but personally I find these girls a bit immature. It is still possible to do very well for a 50 years old man in the 22 – 28 years old range. At that age they are a little bit more interesting, and still in their prime beauty.
Oh, and yes, I am the “still reasonably fit” category that BD mentioned. I used to be very overweight though, it took me some work to get to where I am. Your appearance is not a fatality and can be worked on, too.
Not a very useful comparison. Those two cities have very different cultures and socio-economic profiles. Santa Barbara is an affluent beach community inhabited primarily by the upper-middle class and very wealthy. While Bakersfield is primarily a farming community where you’ll find a larger percentage of working and middle class population. The significant difference in income and lifestyle probably has more to do with the quality of women than anything else.
This is article which made me to buy your book about dating younger woman. Still reading the book, and now I am at chapter about where to find young women, where you stated that some masculine gatherings cant be young female places to pick up.
It is not exactly true, my current lovergirls were picked up from cryptocurrency conferences, but in different cultural environment – Vietnam.
@gordan
do you live there in vietnam ,
how much age difference worked for you in vietnam?
hear they are conservative compared to thailand
@Sam
I am most of the year in Vietnam. Well, age difference works pretty well, had few encounters with20-23 years younger babes (I am 45 now, but then I was 42), and dating 19 years younger smart girl now, who owns the bussiness. My preference are still women above 30, as they are more stable and still very good looking. Main difference between Viet and Thai is, you need to understand Viet culture more, as Viet women doesnt give up their culture, so being the tourist or old pensioned guy is not enough for more serious relationship, you need to be more good looking and manly, and have certain success in life, as they are money oriented, successful and active themselves. Basically, Vietnam is very industrious, nationalistic and hard working country, and not as tourist oriented and relaxed as Thailand. They are also military nation, used to win, so being soft and weak, can’t work in the long way.. Women can be really passionate and smart, so with all of that in the mind, you need to create your own style amongst them.
@gordan
Thx for info Vietnam
Also seen there are yoga center s from Google maps ,
could be target rich places
Yoga centres, yes, lot of them, lot of gorgeous women, yet in most of districts they dont speak english, so communication is hard. Seeing gorgeous looking yoga teacher nowadays, teaching her english in exchanges for “yoga lessons” at my place.
Lot of options here, once you go into cultural code.