As Iâve said many times, the quality of your photos represents at least 80% of your success (or failure) with online dating. If your photos are average, no amount of clever online dating techniques will be able to help you schedule more real-life dates. On the flip side, if your photos are very good, you can make a few mistakes (not many, but a few) during the online dating process and still be successful.Â
I go into great detail regarding the exact process to produce the best online dating photos in the Ultimate Online Dating Manual. Below are some of the basic elements that will get you aimed in the right direction.Â
The point is to not take your online dating photos for granted. Most guys do this. They snap a few selfies with their phone or dredge up some older photos they have on their computer and slap them onto the dating apps. That shit doesnât work! (Unless you are Brad Pitt gorgeous, but I’m not and you probably aren’t either.)
Seriously. Youâre just wasting your damn time. Put real effort into your photos, then you wonât believe how easier the entire process becomes. Here’s what you need to do.
1. In your photos you need to look as fantastic as you possibly can based on your physical appearance and body size/shape. If that means you need to go shopping for a new outfit, go do that. If that means you need to get an existing outfit tailoredâŻorâŻfitted to fit you better, go do that. Address your hair. Do some fake tanning the night before if youâre pale. And so on.
2. Empirical data has shown that when men wear colors that look good on them, their matches and responses increase on dating sites/apps.Â
So, for fuck’s sake, pay attention to the colors youâre wearing. Know which colors look good on you and which ones look bad on you. This is different for every man, based on his skin tone, hair color, and eye color. I look good in blue, red, purple, and grey, so those are the colors I tend to wear most often. I look terrible in green, brown, and white, so I literally never wear those colors unless Iâm forced to (like when Iâm wearing a tux). However, you’re not me, so green and brown might look great on you. Figure this out and then make sure youâre only wearing colors in your photos that compliment your natural appearance. Â
3. Use a photographer. I used to advise men that having a pro or semi-pro photographer would be a big help but wasnât mandatory. After years of working with guys to improve their online dating results and seeing the difference it makes when a pro is used, I am now saying that working with a pro or semi-pro photographer with a fantastic camera is mandatory.Â
Now, donât worry, there are cheap ways to do this. If you have the money, then by all means use a professional photographer in and out of the photography studio. If money is tight, go to your local college or to Craigslist and find a photography student or amateur/semi-pro photographer. The only requirement is that this person has a decent amount of indoor and outdoor photography experience and that they have a really good, really expensive camera with an array of lenses. Iâm talking about those badass digital cameras that are $3,000 and up. Often, you can find these people who will spend several hours taking pictures of you for $60-$140 or less. It’s some of the best money you’ll ever spend, and the uglier you are the more you need it.
4. Select your backgrounds carefully. This means you need to be aware of the color behind you in the photos. You do not want the background of the photo to be a photographerâs fake backdrop. Instead, if the photo is indoors, you want a real wall with normal stuff in the frame. Itâs critical that the wall be of a color that compliments you, but not necessarily a color youâre wearing. If itâs outdoor, pay attention to the colors of the grass, buildings, sky, or whatever else thatâs behind you.
This is important. If youâre not sure as to the best color that should be behind you, experiment with a few pics with your phone and find which makes you look best. If you really want to make this work, bring a woman with you, and get her color opinions after the photographer takes a few test shots. Women see colors much better than men do. (This is one of the very rare times I will recommend you take advice from women regarding anything dating-related.)
5. Pay attention to lighting. This is one of the biggest places where guys screw up their online dating photos; the lighting is fucking terrible. This will damage response/match rates. If youâre using a photographer he/she should be aware of this, but if youâre not (and you should) make sure the lighting in the photos is perfect. This means not too dark, not too bright (too “hot”), and not too many shadows on your face.
6. Take hundreds of shots. Yes, I said hundreds. Whenever I do any photos for the express purpose of online dating, I try to get at least 400 shots. I consider 200 a minimum though more is better. Use different angles, different locations, different outfits, and different facial expressions. Later, go through your hundreds of shots, and pick out the 15 or so best ones. Then have two or three women (ideally within your target age range) help you pick out the absolute best three to six shots. Those are the photos you should use.
In all seriousness, with a lot of guys who are having trouble with online dating, all they need to do is to get better photos. If they just do that and literally nothing else, their results go way up. Iâve seen this happen hundreds of times over the years.
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It sure would be nice if we could post photos here and get your direct feedback. I’ve done exactly as you say and I still get very close to zero matches/responses and I’ve been trying for years, following all of your advice as closely as possible. I feel like the photos I do have are quite good and the women I know agree that they are significantly better than most of what they see on most dating profiles.
Since this seemed so strange, that following your advice and that the good results were confirmed by several women, were not working at all, I started looking around, and other dating coaches, quite a lot of them in fact, overwhelmingly claim that according to their research, with hundreds or thousands of guys, is that it is a big big mistake to be using all professional photos. They say that they have tested pro photo profiles and natural photo profiles extensively, and the candid photos win time and time again.
BUT, they say that it’s having a mix of both that performs the absolute best.
In either case this is terrible news for me as I have no candid photos, and no real way of getting them as I am not only building a new business I’m also an introvert and I have no social life. Typically it is the women I am dating who are my social life, however I lost every single one of them due to the COVID situation and now I’ve been unable to replace them at all.
In any case I also look like a complete moron in candid photos every single time unless I can try a bunch of angles and shots it’s basically impossibly unlikely I’m going to look good in a quick snapshot taken once in a group situation.
I’ve spent so much money and so much time on photos at this point, and each time looking at them it’s like ‘wow, these are great, this is going to help for sure!’ and they have never made a lick of difference. I get literally zero matches on tinder and bumble, and literally zero responses back on any of the online sites, every single time, with the single exception being abnormally unattractive, obesely overweight women.
If we can’t post our photos up for critique, it would be absolutely awesome if you could post your own photos or photos of clients who are having a lot of success so we could more directly have actual examples to work with instead of generalized guidelines like these, which could produce a wide variety of results.
1. I used to offer that exact service for many years but I got too busy and my time became too valuable.
2. Most guys would never do this publicly because they’re too scared to show the entire internet what they look like. (That’s why the few people like me who have the balls to show the entire internet public what they look like tend to make the big bucks. Very little competition.)
Then quality of your photos isn’t your problem and something else is (something about how you look, the text in your profile, the dating apps you’re using, the city where you live, the type of woman you’re going after, what you’re saying to women online, etc). It’s your job to narrow down what that is.
Correct, that’s why I said: You do not want the background of the photo to be a photographerâs fake backdrop. Instead, if the photo is indoors, you want a real wall with normal stuff in the frame.
They need to be taken by a professional but not LOOK professionally done. I’m not recommending you do a real estate agent headshot or Senior class photos for fuck’s sake.
Over the years I have asked at least 15 different guys to do exactly that and none of them have agreed. I would open myself up to possible legal problems if I did it anyway.
Again, people are pussies about showing what they look like on the internet. Even when they look good. (Hot, young girls on Instagram being the exception of course.)
“Have two or three women in your target age range help you pick out the best photos”…what if I don’t know anyone at all in my target age range?. I’m in my 30’s and I’ve recently been wanting to try to date younger such as 18-24 since I’ve finally realized that I’m not attracted to most women my age since most don’t look good and have let themselves go way too much haha. But I’m not really sure what kind of pictures will be good for the younger crowd…
Caleb,
Very important and relevant question.
Let’s assume your semi photographer makes you look considerably better looking in your photos then you really are.
Wouldn’t the girl after showing up on a first and seeing you in real life get turned off in disappointment. She’s expecting a good looking or at better looking guy and she see’s your average or ugly causing her to bail on your ass super quick.
Funny thing is I’m one of those people can actually photograph really well in the right lighting and jump almost 1.5 points in looks. From a 7 to a solid 8. People wouldn’t believe I’m the same person.
I could prolly get many girls to show up on a first date if I did that.
No filter , no makeup just good lighting and good camera.
I just didnt want those perfect pictures so it would’nt seem like false advertising thinking I’d lose the lay when the girl met me anyway
Geez man do you need your hand held with every step? Then find someone. Its not hard to find women online or offline when you just wanna be friends, you will build up your contacts fast. Of course you dont actually need to be friends with them or meet them platonically just talk a bit an then ask their opinion on photos or maybe meet her once and then ask.
@alphaomega…that’s friggin weird, you say “Go find some”… so you want me to go out into public and find complete strangers asking them what photos will look good for my dating profile? Hah like that is normal thing to do, yeah right
Good. That’s exactly what you want.
All of my pics make me look way better than I do in real life and I usually rock a 50% first date to sex ratio which is far better than most men, and that includes women who are 20+ years younger than me.
So no.
– Settle for asking women in their early 30s. Better than nothing.
– Ask the daughters of people you know.
– Ask younger women who are relatives (cousins, nieces, etc). Again, better than nothing.
Be creative.
Yes, you can do that. Next time you’re at the mall and you see two hot younger girls giggling in the Forever 21 store just walk up to them and say, very nicely in nonthreatening beta male way, “Hey, can you guys help me for a really quick minute? Can I show you like 5 quick pictures of me on my phone and tell me which ones you think look the best? I want to use them on Tinder (or whatever) and I need a woman’s opinion.”
That will work.
Stop giving a shit about what’s normal and start focusing on what’s effective.
Effective lifestyle techniques are almost never normal.
I have Caleb’s online book and it’s great, but the part about profile pics I found is probably the weakest part and definitely needs updating.
1] Don’t ever use a student photographer and with an SLR photographer having a great portfolio of indoor and outdoor shots, unfortunately that isn’t enough, as I learned in March. I found a guy in Australia whose quality of SLR pics in his portfolio are outstanding and he has 30 grand worth of SLR camera gear, but his ability to capture people in pics is absolutely terrible and I totally hated the pics he took, which was a waste of $120. He probably got offended when I said that. What a guy needs, is a SLR fashion photographer and more preferably, one who actually knows about game, or is possibly a dating coach themselves on the side, as they’d know how to capture a guy properly. I know such people are extremely hard to find, but if you’re a SLR photographer reading this post, then it’d probably help to post your location (irrespective whether you’re living in or outside of north America) and a working link to SLR pics you’ve taken of preferably guys, not women.
2] Actually there is a pretty decent private Facebook group where guys post their online dating pics for feedback from other guys and although most of the feedback given is usually pretty harsh and negative, to me it’s fair. I don’t want to give the link to it, as group’s owner is very good looking and is way too much of a super arrogant prick in his demeanor, although I do agree with his views, which I’ll share here.
3] Facebook group owner’s dating site or app SLR pic suggestions.
– Avoid having a sad face in your pics and showing too much timidity, avoid facial muscle tension and pics that lack a sense of conviction.
– Avoid poor body language, as most pics of guys, fail to convey status and value in one’s pics.
– Most SLR photographers fail to read the sub communication, body language in who they’re photographing.
– Use squinching for a more confident look.
– Do your SLR pics convey that you’re a self assured, dominant, grounded person?
– As a photographer, he tries capturing a subject’s facial symmetry and has people in motion, as in he often shoots them from below to make them look more powerful, plus he gets them to walk towards him and he’ll take a shot, as it gives a candid effect.
– Be familiar with your facial symmetry and know what your good side is. If you don’t know what it is and the photographer has good experience, ask them for their advice after they take some smartphone camera shots of you and making an assessment. Like you might look better having your side profile be your best position, rather than your front side. Most men have no idea.
– Show or project masculinity. An SLR photographer needs to know if their subject is genuinely relaxed, as the subject may think so, but they’re really not. It’s not enough for a SLR photographer to just verbally tell their subject to just ‘relax’. A genuinely good SLR photographer needs to know how to get their subject in a relaxed emotional state and most are terrible at this.
– Learn to take good smartphone selfies as well.
– Have a pic of you wearing a suit and tie if you have one (if not buy one), but it doesn’t necessarily have to show your whole body if you’re not taller than 6 foot and don’t be looking at the camera in the pic.
– Have a pic of you cooking something in the kitchen, irrespective whether you’re extremely good, or average at cooking.
4] Facebook group owner’s online dating site and app SLR pic suggestions. These aren’t my own comments.
– Let’s make one thing fucking clear: I’m not a photographer!!! I’m a dating coach, who happens to have 5 years experience in photography. I study female psychology, body language and most importantly, what converts when I launch an account. This is a creative agency for pussy acquisition. Every day now, you guys will post profiles up on this group and time and time again, I see you guys hiring these ‘photographers’ and still getting nowhere. Week after week, I’m replacing their shots with mine. I just want to save you guys the heartache and tell you, don’t fucking bother. Unless the photographer you hire knows down to a tee, what’s attractive to women and what actually converts on Tinder, then you may as well stick with your current photos. Because what I’m seeing time and time again, is shots with the perfect iso, perfect shutter speed, shots that abide by the rule of thirds. Maybe even nicely blurred backgrounds that all have one thing in common, but they still won’t make a single girl stop on Tinder and go ‘Damn. That guy’s hot, I want to fuck him’. Unfortunately, this is the only one thing that matters.
Unless you:
– are wearing optimal clothing that’s the best fit, has style and colour for you.
– have the right body language.
– convey positive emotions through your facial expression.
– have the right angles that best convey your facial symmetry and physique.
– show signs of affluence and status.
– understand and work with the parameters of demographics.
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US photographer Peter Hurley: It’s all about the Squinch!
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US photographer Peter Hurley: It’s all about the Jaw!
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US photographer Peter Hurley: What’s your best side?
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 Just stick to your iPhone, but that said, no truly successful man doesn’t have professional shots of themselves taken. This goes for social media such as LI, Facebook, Insta, Tinder.
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Very helpful looks like I will need to get some serious work done to overhaul my dating app profiles! That being said, Iâm having a hard time figuring out the best ways to meet up with women, considering lots of places are still closed due to covid and also many of the women I meet and vibe with (Online and cold approach) happen to not be of drinking age yet. Any suggestions for first meet/date would be greatly appreciated. Iâm in my 40âs by the way and recently divorced. Many thanks
What an odd statement. Basic photography techniques haven’t changed in the 3 years since that book was published, so there is no need to update that part of it. (There are certainly parts of that book that need to be updated, but not the photo techniques. Those are the same as ever. If I updated that book tomorrow that entire chapter would remain pretty much the same.)
Again, another very odd statement. You had one bad experience. One guy having one bad experience with one photographer doesn’t mean having a photographer with a good camera to help you take photos is a bad recommendation.
Think this stuff through objectively before you type it out.
Go to my YouTube channel and watch my Success During Coronavirus series where I address that.
As BD says, be creative. There are scores of women everywhere in the world dying for platonic attention from men both online and offline.
Caleb first of all I’m just gonna say I’m somewhat astounded.
So if what you’re saying women really don’t care that you look much better in your pictures than you really are then ……..    why not use slight make up in your semi professional pictures as well as minor photoshopping.
What im saying might seem metrosexual or effeminate / girly but if it works then….
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@Ryan,
In my opinion if those women are in your “target range”, then asking a stranger in your “target range” to help you with your photos should be almost easier than asking one on a date. And in all honesty would be an easy way to score a potential date. Be genuine about needing help with your photos and perhaps the same women/woman will become interested in more. Even if not, in my opinion if you are unable to go from zero, to finding a woman in your target range that would be willing to help with your pictures, you definitely aren’t going to get dates with women in your target range. In my opinion the younger women tend to only be attracted to older guys who are fearless of them and have a lot of confidence. If you are confident, then you have no fear of asking a woman you barely know to help you out.
My frame would be, “I could ask any woman to help with my photos but I chose you.” instead of where you currently are, “what if I don’t know any in my target range?” If women in your “target range” sense you are uncomfortable or unfamiliar with women their age, they will be put off and you not only won’t be able to get their help with your photos, but you won’t get a date for sure.
P.S. In my opinion doing the “normal” thing tends to look beta, or at least doesn’t look alpha. Being unusual often attracts women honestly. I think you really should read all of Blackdragon’s books, or at least the main ones, Open Relationship Manual, Unchained Man, etc.
Sonny, it’s not that you don’t look like your pictures, it’s probably that she is worried how she looks to you. You care too much, be Outcome Independent. That’s universally an internal issue for both sexes; best to use visualisations, affirmations, mantras, self love (meta meditation), self-hypnosis, ect.
There are also a handful of delightful little bits that you can use on a first date to disarm the situation of you not looking as good as your photos. One I remember from DeAngelo’s interview series is saying, “Hey, you look different from your photographs!”, said casually and with warmth and with a slight swinche. She’ll enquire, just say that you can’t place it, just different. She’ll want to know, better/worse, don’t tell her…..”Just different”. It’ll work best on attractive women. Also, lead her. Find a reason to go to another place across the road, grab her arm crossing the road (but don’t look at it) and release it the moment you get to the other side. Very powerful, subliminally protective and masculine. Don’t do it again unless you are crossing another road.
It’s how she feels/perceives the situation, the dynamic between you two.
Also, you don’t want to be metro-sexual in any way (not unless you are that way and even then, get in touch with a the caveman in you), not unless you want to destroy the sexual charge. The more masculine you are (in a good way), the more she has permission to be a woman.
I tend to have that effect on people.
You could and I have. I have a small spot of sun damage on my right cheek. Last year I reduced its color a lot using lasering, but before that sometimes I had a Photoshop guy make it less prominent on my online dating photos.
Yes. Recently with a new woman (hot blonde 20- year-old) she sent me some Snapchat videos and I said, “Hm. You look different than I thought you would.” She freaked the fuck out (in a good way), and started machine-gunning numerous questions about “Really? Do I look bad? Do I look ugly??” and so on.
The most outcome dependent people in society are attractive girls.
Caleb,
That’s a VERY strong statement you made there : ” The most outcome dependent people in society are attractive girls “
Really what makes you say this ??
You are joking right? I was just about to say that is exactly my experience. I smiled and nodded when I read that.
AlphaOmega,
This has been your experience too ? Care to elaborate
Off-topic. As usual.
If you’ve got a good half dozen photos, another trick is to shuffle them around a bit, change the one that appears first and note to see if you get different reactions with each of them.
Don’t worry if you don’t look as good in real life as in your photo. Seriously, have you ever met a television or media personality in real life, when they aren’t on display? It’s often quite shocking how these incredibly good looking people look so ordinary in real life. The photo is just to get them to meet you. After that, to get any further, you have to rely on a different skill set.
Do you know that line from Star Wars, Revenge of the Sith where Palpatine tells Anakin about the legendary Sith Lord who” was so powerful the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power”?
I think its like that they know they are attractive but then they also know its impermanent so they constantly need approval to know they still have that power. Also its a competition against all the other countless exceedingly attractive women. This may or may not be the case in your local area but after all globally very attractive women are as countless as the stars. And as the trends and taste change some may feel left behind. As they say “there is no greater suffering in the universe than a god falling from heavens and being god no more”.
“I think its like that they know they are attractive but then they also know its impermanent so they constantly need approval to know they still have that power.”
Exactly. Think: “Mirror mirror, on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?”
@BD
Any opinions on Photofeeler?
He’s right. That’s not even a new thing: Robert Greene talks about it on The Art of Seduction, when describing The Beauty victim type. Her appearance is the one area of her life she feels confident about (to the detriment of all others, in most cases), so any affront to her physical allures is a huge blow to her ego.
I wouldn’t say never, but obviously one has to make sure and check the pictures the photographer took of people. I know quite a few great professional photographers who aren’t that great at taking pictures of people (or in some cases of men).
Not sure what made you say this, I’ve never had professional shots taken in a studio for this I agree that’s pretty obvious.
I can’t think of a single reason why posting photos of yourself on the internet would open you up to legal issues. In fact googling your name demonstrates there are already such photos out there, and I assume that you are aware of them…
Damn, Caleb, I got this fine ass Danish Blonde from Tinder, and even though I don’t
have my own place, I managed to rent a Hotel, and we are straight to fucking, no dates!
Thanks again for all your valuable information, now I’m seeing results!
Is it okay to put a few different girls selfies with you on your profile to ‘purposely’ create competition anxiety among the matches. Ive dates where she said its weird or interesting for me to do that, some even blocked me saying im a playboy ‘lecturing’ me i shouldnt do that, we didnt even go out on dates!
Correct. Test, test, test!
Tools like that are helpful as general indicators but they are not objective evaluations of how well your photos will pull on a dating site or app. I’ve seen guys with beta male-ish photos that have high ratings on things like Photofeeler but still didn’t pull well on the apps, and some of the more douchey photos that can pull well online for some guys may not do well on Photofeeler.
Use tools like Photofeeler to help narrow down your best photos, but don’t use it as a barometer for how well you’re actually going to get laid.
I have had pictures of me taken in a professional studio that looked like they weren’t. And they worked well. You just need to be a little creative.
The problem is that many photographers don’t know how to do what I’m saying (take pro photos of me in your studio but make damn sure they look like they weren’t taking in a studio; some photographers just get confused and look at you funny).
Me posting the pictures of men, without their permission, regarding how to fuck girls, on a blog like this where we talk about non-monogamy and fucking girls? In the United States?
If you really have no idea on how that could get me in trouble, read item two, paragraph four in this article.
Outstanding.
I love it when guys take action instead of making excuses.
If you’re starting from zero, no. If you’re already doing well online and want to use it as an experiment, yes. The best method is to crop out half of the girl’s face, so it looks like you tried to remove her but you can still see that A) she’s a girl and B) she’s cute/hot.
I also don’t recommend doing this for men going after women over age 33. They’ll just get upset.
Alright. Thanks for the response.
LOL this is literally proven daygame material from the old Sedfast days.
You need to select photographer with experience of doing fashion shots those are the best for this application and they will know exactly what to do. Sometimes student / starting photographers are fine but expect that you will need more time and or patience to either work longer with them to get it look the way you want or to go through a few. If you don’t know how you are supposed to look on the photos then you need to find editorial photographer who does profesional shots for fashion magazines and then expect you may have to travel to meet one if you dont live in a huge city, that his schedule will be fully booked for a while in advance and that you will pay several hundreds for such photos – but such a photographer will know exactly how you should look.
All these hundreds of pictures taken never get printed or developed right?
We’re talking about digital photos so of course not. You just pick the few you want and delete the rest.
You didn’t read what I wrote. You said you would not post photos of yourself for legal reasons and I asked what kind of legal problems that could arise from posting photos of yourself and pointed out that there are already photos of you out there.
Sorry I misunderstood. Sure, I can post pics of myself. I’ll put that on the to-do list.
I just can’t post pics of any other men.
Question :
What are the ethics of using artificial enhancements to improve your photos? By this, I mean :
i) Using photoshop on your photos to boost your musculature. Not an obviously phony amount but enough that your photos look good and she can’t say for certain that you did that when she sees you in real life.
ii) Using photoshop to adjust your skin tone. Even your hairline a tiny bit?
I mean, women wear makeup, get boobjobs, and more. I think a resourceful man should get good photos done and THEN do a few improvements in photoshop on them to make them even better.
But I wanted some opinions on the ethics of this.
@A,
you can just use photos from when you were younger or less fat for example thats a same effect and its what almost everyone does. That should answer your question
@A
Worry less about the ethics of it (everybody else is doing it anyway) and more about the practical side. Touch up your photos, but not so much that it looks artificial or that women will notice when you meet them irl.
On the ‘action shot’, what activities work best for age range 25 – 33?
I run almost every day, but a ‘running shot’ feels a bit silly. I sweat a lot too đ Action shot means sport, or it can be any activity, like playing an instrument? I play synths. Not the most ‘rock star’ activity (probably only the drummer gets laid less than the keyboardist!). DJs do tho. If you get your pic on a room full of electronic music stuff it might lead them to see you as a DJ (a stud in their minds).
I don’t discuss ethics because of the reasons I stated here. I focus on what is most effective without having to lie or be incongruent. If you modify your pictures slightly to make yourself look better it’s not a big deal since she’ll see you in real life on the first date anyway. At that point she can make the decision on whether or not to fuck you, which is how online dating is supposed to work.
If you are changing your photos massively then you’re wasting your time since you’ll just meet up with a woman on a first date who will never fuck you because she’s expecting a very different looking man. But that’s not a valid argument if you make small changes, especially considering I and other have done this and women had sex with us anyway after clearly seeing us “for real” on the first/second date.
Whatever you would normally do. If you normally run, then a running shot would look fine. It would look weird if you never ran.
Any activity, including playing an instrument. I agree that playing an instrument is better than a picture of you running, provided, again, you actually do both in real life.
I used to think that pictures mattered but to a low extent. Then I tried experimenting and boy I was waaaaay wrong.
I tried new pics with fresh haircuts just to have women and ex’s invite me over for sex. Immediately after posting them.
Good pics are an advantage.
@GregB I love the tips and the clips. Can you share the name of the Facebook group? Thanks.
Sonny,
There are three elements, from some war quote I can’t be asked to pull up. Know the enemy (not that they are that at all in any way), know yourself, and know the terrain.
The best dating material will get you inside how a woman thinks, how you work and how the environment effects it, and it will become self-evident.
Listen to podcasts and interviews series. Sometimes they would have a gem of a line, an attitude or a belief or a story, edit it out and keep it. Even if it was 2 minutes long from an hour, it will be worth it.
Relabel it as 1/ “Inner Game”, 2/ opening, 3/ attraction, 4/ comfort (talk), 5/ sex, 6/ follow-up communications (text, IM, phone, e-mail), 7/ relationships (John Gottmann and others).
I would say that you want to generate 80% of the attraction on the spur (this requires getting rid of issues and a deep-seated belief in abundance, Outcome Independence and a good frame of treating her as being a bratty little sister, also dealing with past disappointments). And 20% default lines for all situations that evoke a masculine core that virtually all women respond to. Those are the lines that guys hunger for as pick up lines, though most don’t know how to flip that into her being besotted with you.
Inner games are your intangible skills (I do martial arts, and they are similar to timing, distance judgement, beliefs, loving the challenge, courage – all the elements that most people don’t see).
Also, develop your masculine vibe. Not sure about the world today, but you’d be surprised how quickly you can spank a beautiful woman after meeting her by picking up the vibe, or at the end of a date. Don’t do that, though, as you’d probably get a bad reaction. Just something further down the road.
 The only reason I’ve to this out to you is that your question suggests too little “field” experience.
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Too much emphasis on gear, after a certain point better gear doesn’t do shit. A good photo tells a story. You want a photographer with solid editorial skills.
Better yet, be your own photographer and model. Just pick up a 10-yr old Canon Rebel body off Craigslist, a cheapo “nifty fifty” 50mm f1.8 lens, a tripod and remote trigger (or just use the self-timer). Maybe a reflector. Entire kit should come in well under US$300.
Think of a story you want to tell about yourself actually DOING SOMETHING (not just standing there posed, looking like a chode). It can just be something simple, like just sitting at a cafe working on something, walking down the street in a cool outfit, or flipping a steak.
Go out and take HUNDREDS of shots, which, if you’re lucky you’ll narrow down to 1 or 2 keepers.
(Don’t worry if they all suck, just “hire” yourself and go out again).
Shoot with intention, try to visualize beforehand how you want it to look, the story you want to tell.
Throw it into some editing software to perfect your edit (Adobe Lightroom, snapseed if you’re on Iphone, there’s many others). (Shoot RAW image files to have the most latitude in recovering details).
If you’re ambitious and want to go for that “wow” factor, pick up a cheapo flash just to pop off some “fill flash” onto your subject. (get it off the camera with a cheapo light-stand, and wireless remote. Tweak the flash compensation so it doesn’t look like shitty flash shot).