11 Jan How the Three Different Types of Men React to Women
Below are the typical thoughts experienced by the three types of men (beta males, Alpha Male 1.0s, and Alpha Male 2.0s) in various dating situations. Sometimes these men actually verbalize these thoughts, though often they just think them and verbalize something else. Regardless, this is what goes through their minds.
-By Caleb Jones
1. Girl sends a text saying she has to cancel their date for tonight because it’s payroll this week, she has to stay late after work, then one of her friends needs help moving.
Beta: Oh, um, okay. No really, it’s okay. Um…maybe we could hang out next week? If it’s not too much trouble?
Alpha 1.0: What the hell? Your friend needs help moving?!? You and I had a date scheduled for this evening. Unacceptable. You need to respect other peoples’ schedules. When someone makes a scheduled appointment with someone, she needs to keep it. It shows respect and maturity. No man is going to want a woman who can’t handle her own schedule like a grown-up.
Alpha 2.0: Okay. I’ll fuck someone else tonight. Bye!
2. Girl sends a text saying that for their first date tonight, she’s now bringing along two of her girlfriends.
Beta: Sure, that sounds fun! (Oh no! NOW what do I do???)
Alpha 1.0: This is a DATE. You and me. This is not some kind of friendly outing. You need to tell your friends they need to find something else to do. You scheduled this date with me, not with your friends. This is extremely rude. You need to respect my time, and not suddenly change the plans on me like this. Now text your friends right now and tell them they’re not coming. I’ll wait. Text me when you’re done.
Alpha 2.0: Hey, that’s great! Let’s forget about tonight and meet up on Thursday instead. I don’t do friend zone so I’m going to fuck someone else tonight. Bye!
3. Girl says she’s breaking up with him.
Beta: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Please NOOOOOOO! I’m sorry! I’ll stop! Whatever it is, I’ll stop! I’m sorry! Please don’t leave! I promise I’ll never do it again! Please!!! Give me one more chance! PLEASE!!!
Alpha 1.0: Stop being ridiculous. You’re not going anywhere. If there’s a problem, we’re going to discuss it like two adults and figure it out. Now stop acting like a child.
Alpha 2.0: Okay! Bye!
4. Girl issues an ultimatum. If he doesn’t stop doing X, she’ll leave him.
Beta: Jeez! Okay! I won’t do it again! I promise!
Alpha 1.0: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. You need to calm down right now. Let’s discuss this. You can just toss out shit like this. Who do you think I am?
Alpha 2.0: Okay! Bye! soft next, fucks someone else>
5. After one month of dating, girl demands monogamy/exclusivity.
Beta: Yes! Of course! I LOVE YOU BABY!
Alpha 1.0: Yeah, okay, sure.
Alpha 2.0: Haha! You realize we’ve been seeing each other for just one month, right? This is way too soon for this conversation. You’re so cute.
6. Girl comes home late.
Beta: Hey baby! I missed you!
Alpha 1.0: Why were you late? Let me see your phone. Right now. Give it to me.
Alpha 2.0:
7. Girl posts fun pics with friends on Facebook while vacationing in Hawaii.
Beta: I wish I was with you baby! I miss you so much!
Alpha 1.0: What the FUCK. Who are those shirtless guys in the pics with you? Take that pic off your Facebook right now, and call me. Right now. This is bullshit!
Alpha 2.0:
8. When both at a party, girl starts flirting with another guy.
Beta:
Alpha 1.0:
Alpha 2.0:
9. After dating for one month, girl announces that they’re both going to meet her parents.
Beta: Um, really? Are you sure? I mean, well, okay.
Alpha 1.0: Great! It’s about time!
Alpha 2.0: Haha! You realize we’ve been seeing each other for just one month, right? I’m not meeting your parents. You’re so funny.
10. Girl is pissed off at him and calls him a fucking asshole.
Beta: WTF? Why are you calling me an asshole? What did I do?
Alpha 1.0: Shut the fuck up! I’m not going to tolerate this shit from you! Now calm the fuck down right now!
Alpha 2.0: Okay! Bye!
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Minister
Posted at 06:33 am, 11th January 2016In my opinion, there are not alpha and beta males, just alpha and beta behaviors. One man may react as an alpha in certain circumstances and as a beta in other ones. For example, as far as monogamy is concerned, I am a pure Alpha 2.0. I don’t give a crap if my women fuck other men and I have never been jealous. I don’t do monogamy, either. Sometimes, when a chick says or does something stupid, I go all the Alpha 1.0 route and bust her balls. And when I am in a social setting, I act as a complete beta. As an extreme introvert, I am overwhelmed by crowds, so I have a bad posture around people and I speak on a low tone. So, you shouldn’t categorize people, but their actions, which vary among occasions.
The curious one
Posted at 07:33 am, 11th January 2016I think the 2.0 in 2 might also say: “Do they swallow?”
CrabRangoon
Posted at 08:20 am, 11th January 2016I never did anything too extreme beta(like in a previous post you mention guys being a taxi bitch,etc…) but man do I cringe now thinking back on some of the beta crap I did years back. I always did well with women even then but now that I changed my attitude, the attention does shoot up noticeably. This is great stuff for all guys to read and evaluate their own behaviors with women. If you’re deep in the blue beta waters, you may not even realize you’re drowning. All the damn SP shoved down our throats keeps many guys in the beta mindset-our own family is typically a big part of this. I’ve literally had a guy friend tell me once “just get married(to an LTR at the time), you can always get divorced later, no big deal”. That’s the insane thought process-someone who doesn’t care about their long term happiness.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 09:14 am, 11th January 2016This is the same argument used by women commenters when I categorize them, despite the fact that scientists, psychologists, and researchers categorize people all the time and find categorization not only accurate, but a helpful tool in understanding human behavior.
I exhibit strong extroverted personalty traits sometimes. That doesn’t mean you can’t categorize me as an introvert. You can and I am.
It doesn’t matter if you sometimes act like a beta, 1.0, and 2.0. Most men do that occasionally. I promise you that if I met you in person and invisibly followed you around for three days, I could accurately categorize you as just one of those things. You’re one, not all three.
POB
Posted at 10:09 am, 11th January 2016It all comes back to the old adage: “women hold the keys to sex, men hold the keys to relationships”. As soon as a guy realizes that his life becomes a lot easier.
If you turn Alpha 2.0 you’ll:
1) always have abundant sex, thus removing the need to kiss any female ass to get it;
2) notice that YOU are in charge of every relationship you get into. Combine that with number 01 and suddenly 99% of your women problems disappear!
If anything does not go accordingly with what you want, you just change your attention to a greener pasture ’till the storm calms down. Really, what can a woman do in that situation? Leave you? You’re ok with open relationships because you know every relationship is temporary, so whatever. Remove sex? No problem, you go fuck someone else. Ignore you? You have your mission and other women to occupy your time. Fuck other guys? You don’t care ’cause that’s something you were ok with since day 01. It’s so simple (yet so complicated for most guys to understand).
epi
Posted at 10:45 am, 11th January 2016What would you do if someone hit on the lady you were with right in front of you?
Caleb Jones
Posted at 10:53 am, 11th January 2016Laugh.
It’s happened before. Don’t care.
Seriously, what is she doing to do? Leave me right then and there and go fuck the guy? Ha! If some guy actually hits on a girl I’m clearly with while I’m standing there, that would be hilarious.
CrabRangoon
Posted at 11:26 am, 11th January 2016BD don’t you know you’re supposed to demand this fella respect you and challenge him to a fist fight outside the bar???? The song “Gimme 3 Steps” is a fun story about this very scenario which the lead singer actually found himself in once at bar. He was just dancing with a girl and her Alpha 1.0 BF came in and damn near tried to kill him over it. You have to ask yourself, is it worth going to jail over some girl? If you were to knock someone out over “disrespecting your relationship” he can have you arrested and sent to jail. So as you sit rotting in a jail cell, you can hold your head high and say “I showed him not to disrespect me!”. Hope it was worth it.
donnie demarco
Posted at 11:38 am, 11th January 2016This happens all the time. It’s totally normal, and should be expected when you go out with hot women.
Be civil and light-hearted about it, and allow her space to talk to him if she wants to. She will totally love the fact that a) you aren’t trying to control her and b) that you are confident enough to not feel threatened by simple flirting.
Women love attention, and flirting is completely harmless.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 11:54 am, 11th January 2016What’s funny is that I’ve read on several blogs, “an alpha doesn’t mind going to jail.” That’s correct…an Alpha 1.0. As I talk about in my book, the Alpha 2.0 doesn’t do anything rash that will make him wind up in jail, since being in jail will make him unhappy and limit his freedom.
The Alpha 1.0 doesn’t hold happiness as his highest priority, so many will indeed consider it “worth it” to wind up in jail as long as he “showed that fuckin’ guy!”
Tanguero
Posted at 04:25 pm, 11th January 2016GF wants to bring her friend… “great, so we’re going to have a threesome after dinner?”
GF uninvites friend or let’s her know she’s welcome to join us after dinner for a threesome.
You should always let your GF know that you’d enjoy a threesome with their cute friends.
Carmichael Red
Posted at 05:52 pm, 11th January 2016I had some time to think about this. I believe a beta can definitely evolve. Only if and only if he doesn’t get what he wants and is forced to become alpha. Like in a prior post about the Power of Betas, I didn’t find this post funny at all. Betas don’t need to evolve, because they win in their own beta way. From personal experience, although I did not behave exactly like this. But I’ve had some beta blunders. Like confusing a date for a hang-out, chasing, touch of oneitis, etc. But I am currently having alpha 2.0 achievements. Like abundance of women and a very strong mission. I can only have had these achievements if I was never rewarded as my former beta self and forced to step up my game.
A Beta’s Passive Aggressiveness just plays into a woman’s need for drama.
I think BD and this post is being easy on betas and alpha 1.0s reactions to women. These interactions occur in real life get rewarded by a woman in the state that she needs what the beta or alpha 1.0 offer. 95% of the guys I know do this shit and get rewarded and when they break up, they find a girl just like her who rewards them. Beta Male is a skill. Woe to the Alpha who underestimates it.
Carmichael Red
Posted at 06:52 pm, 11th January 2016Also if you asked a beta after an altercation like the examples above. He would look you dead in the eye and say he’s alpha
Lovergirl
Posted at 07:14 pm, 11th January 2016LMAO…. I’m pretty sure I’m an expert on dating Alpha 1.0’s 😉 Actually, some of them are more a combo of Alpha 1/2.
BlindIo
Posted at 08:17 pm, 11th January 2016It occurred to me that Islam is an Alpha 1.0 system. And while Alpha 2.0 certainly seems to be better for the individual, could an Alpha 2.0 system… well, work? Could it compete on the world stage?
Yonatan
Posted at 09:15 pm, 11th January 2016Alpha 1.5 here.. That is, I am mostly Alpha 1.0, but do have many Alpha 2.0 characteristics infused. I can be an Alpha 1.0 or Alpha 2.0 depending on the situation.. Many times I am of the, “Hey Woman, make me a sandwich” variety. But, I can easily switch to the, “Oh, you are giving me shit.. I’ll find some other beatch to make me a sandwich.”
I am not very drama friendly as I grew up in a home with a lot of drama and had a very dominating and dramatic mother. Therefore, I have a very low drama tolerance when it comes to giving and receiving orders and questioning relationship authority. Between my mother and grandmother I can pretty much tolerate almost no drama from domineering, argumentative or catty and bitchy females.
I am basically a MGTOW due to my strict beliefs of male authority and dominance coupled with my low tolerance for putting up with arguing, bitching and other drama that Western females tend to unload on their menfolk.
Lovergirl
Posted at 09:40 pm, 11th January 2016I rather like my Alpha 1.5’s. The 2.0 version sounds like it veers a little too far into apathy, which as they say, is the.opposite of love. I want to feel cared about.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 09:49 pm, 11th January 2016That’s Alpha 2.0. Not exactly my style but it’s 2.0.
I have very specific preferences that you could call “indirect orders” to a woman, and I will next or downgrade (usually downgrade) if she doesn’t go along with them. It’s the same general thing as what you’re talking about.
The bottom line is that any long-term partner needs to be compatible with you, or else she needs to go (or be relegated to an FB). It doesn’t matter if your needs are “reasonable” or not.
And I’m a sex-positive MGTOW due to my love of long-term, consistent happiness and personal freedom. 🙂
Again, just another style. Alpha Male 2.0 is a rainbow of different styles and personality types. Not all 2.0s are exactly the same, just like not all 1.0s are the same.
(A great example is Tubarao on the forums. Dominant with his women, in ways you’re talking about and in ways I’m not, but also an extreme Alpha 2.0.)
Caleb Jones
Posted at 09:52 pm, 11th January 2016You mean you want control. A guy who “cares” in the way you’re talking about (Alpha 1.0 ways) you can control more easily, and get more drama out of, than a 2.0 who wan’t take any of that crap and will just move on.
ETA
Posted at 09:53 pm, 11th January 2016For number 5, it’s the beta that asks for monogamy right away!
Paul X
Posted at 03:28 am, 12th January 2016Great post again! I went from Beta (with 1.0 outbursts) to Alpha 2.0 in 2015.
My defining moment was a girl called Mia.
It was the “Weekend of 7”. Over a long weekend, I had 7 dates. Fri night, then 2 each day Sat-Mon. Thanks Tinder. Dates 1,2,4,5,6 were 1st meet.
Date 1 & 4 were nothing like photos. Unattractive. Date 2 finished with passionate kissing (laid on next meet). Date 3 was a 2nd meet (1st sex). Date 5 stood me up! (Only time all year). Date 7 was an awesome regular FB session.
Mia was Date 6. Great tits. Brunch, a walk along the water, happened to stop outside my apartment block. “Let’s go thru my building to go look at the water” (Intending later to get into apartment). Mia said “I don’t need to go inside your building”….arms crossed, very frosty, corporate feministy. I said “Actually, no you don’t need to. That pathway behind you will take you back up to the main road. It was nice to meet you. Goodbye.” I turned around, walked inside and cleaned my place for FB’s arrival later.
I never saw or communicated with Mia ever again, yet it was one of my most significant dates ever. It was the first time I knew in my bones what outcome independence was.
POB
Posted at 05:54 am, 12th January 2016Do you plan to make a post about it? I’m rather curious to see where other 2.0s stand.
Jeff
Posted at 08:27 am, 12th January 2016Another Great Post, BD.
I have a question though. How do you make sure your laid back attitude as an Alpha 2.0 not mistakenly interpreted as a Beta behavior?
This situation happened to me last week, when I watch a basketball game with the girl I am dating. When we arrived at the game, coincidentally she met 2 of her guy friends and one of them seems to also have interest in this girl. So, this guy (he happens to be an Alpha 1.0), kept on flirting with my girl during the game (they managed to sit next to her during the game)
My question is, is it my fault? Of being too laid back and letting this guy make his moves at the first place? I am trying to practice Alpha 2.0’s laid back and not caring attitude. So, when that guy trying to hit on my girl, I don’t really care and just being friendly with them. But apparently this dude has no shame and doesn’t seem to respect me by kept hitting and flirting with her during the entire game (for 3 fuckin hours)
Do you think I should have set the boundary at the first place?
Or as an Alpha 2.0, I should just chill, enjoy the game, and be okay with all that things? (that’s exactly what I did last week). Or do you think what I did is considered more as a Beta behavior?
Thanks alot BD
NB: I just want to know whether I have understood this Alpha 2.0 mindset correctly
Caleb Jones
Posted at 10:24 am, 12th January 2016Sure. I’ll add it to my topic list.
That has never happened to me in my entire life. Betas are clingy and needy. 2.0s are neither.
No problem. While he’s flirty with her, go start talking to the hottest girl in the vicinity. If your girl bitches about it, just look at her funny while glancing what she’s doing flirting with the guy. You can even verbalize it. She’ll get the point really quick, trust me.
Here’s the only relevant question: Which one of you got to fuck her after the game? You or him? If it was you, and he was wishing he was you, then you win. Flirting doesn’t matter. It’s about sex and who gets the girl.
Remember, that Alpha 1.0 wants to be you. You win.
You can if you want but that wouldn’t be 2.0, that would be 1.0. “Now listen, when we go out, if you meet any guy friends, I don’t want you talking to them or flirting with them.” Standard Alpha Male 1.0 stuff. As such, it will bring you some level of control but it will not bring you happiness.
If you sat there sheepishly while a guy was hitting on your girl right in front of you and did nothing, that’s beta.
If you got upset and felt threatened or disrespected and it came across in your attitude (while it was happening or after the game), you’re an Alpha 1.0.
If you were engaged in the conversation, laughing, having a great time, and flirting or hitting on other cute girls in the area and your girl saw this, then you’re an Alpha 2.0.
And to repeat, the guy who “wins” in that scenario is the guy who fucks her in every orifice after the game, regardless of who flirted with whom. The guy who loses is the guy who was wishing he was fucking her. Always remember the bottom line.
Minister
Posted at 10:30 am, 12th January 2016To begin with, I think that an Alpha 2.0 would not go to watch a basketball game with a girl he is dating, unless she is his OLTR. Note that it takes 12 whole months for a girl to qualify as an OLTR. This is how she will consider you a beta.
Jeff
Posted at 11:13 am, 12th January 2016Thanks a lot BD for your elaboration. I now understand that as long as those external things outside my control doesn’t affect me and my happiness (or my mood), then I am still an Alpha 2.0
One last question though:
In the context of Life (not just women and dating), how should an Alpha 2.0 react to those who violate his boundaries? Should he confront them assertively or should he just let it go and don’t care?
I mean, when is a laid back attitude become a ‘too nice’ attitude (nice guy syndrome) ? Because if we always chill and not caring even when people do something bad to us, wouldn’t they then take advantage of us? I mean, even though deep inside it doesn’t really affect our happiness (because as an Alpha 2.0 we simply just don’t care, and it doesn’t even affect our ego), but wouldn’t this behavior encourage those people to keep doing things that violate our boundaries if we came across as too laid back?
Thanks a lot BD, I really appreciated it
Caleb Jones
Posted at 12:10 pm, 12th January 2016He should instantly next them without drama and spend time with others who conform to his boundaries.
The beauty of women is that they’re a lot of them. They’re infinitely replaceable, as I disuses in detail in one of my podcasts.
Yes. Extreme, quintessential 1.0. Many manosphere 1.0s secretly (or not so secretly) wish the Western world was more like Islam, exactly for this reason. I’d personally rather kill myself. (No sex before marriage? Zero sexual imagery in society? Having 4 fucking wives? Yeah man, count me out.)
The question is moot since there will never be a society of Alpha 2.0s. These men will always be a very small percentage of the population. Men are too scared (betas) or outcome dependent (Alpha 1.0s).
This is why I’m not trying to save the world here; most men aren’t going to listen to this message even if they logically agree to it to some degree.
I’m here to help the 5% of betas who are tired of being slaves, and the 5% of Alpha 1.0s who are tired of the drama. That’s it. The other 90% of men are welcome to go down with the ship with the rest of Western civ. I’ll be over here being happy.
Gil Galad
Posted at 01:49 pm, 12th January 2016BD, this is isn’t relevant to the article but I wanted to ask you: could you give me general guidelines for what supplements are the most important in your experience and at what dosage ? I’m already taking vitamin D and considering to add magnesium but I thought you probably have more insight and I could benefit from it. Besides, “recommended” amounts by doctors tend to be too timid. Thanks in advance.
Duke
Posted at 04:11 pm, 12th January 2016So after how long do you meet the parents? After she is OLTR, high end MLTR, six months, twelve months? I’m curious as to how many girls’ parents you have met in the past nine years you’ve been doing this if at all.
I personally find that there is no point to it if you don’t plan on marrying the girl. It would be really awkward answering her dad if he asks you “what are your plans with my daughter?” or some other such variation of that question.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 04:51 pm, 12th January 2016Gil Galad – Too off topic, sorry.
Six months at least. A year is better. It should also be done many months after The Talk.
I think about four women(?) or so. Maybe one or two more I’m forgetting(?). (I’d have to think really think about that to give you an accurate answer.)
The Alpha 2.0 doesn’t get married, so that’s moot. If you want to meet your OLTR’s parents you’ll probably eventually have to, regardless if you want legal marriage or not.
I’ve never received any question like that from a dad in my entire life.
If I did, I would respond by snorting and laughing and saying, “You’re kidding, right? What is this, the 1950s?”
Minister
Posted at 09:27 am, 13th January 2016In the way I see it, life for alphas isn’t necessarily any better. Yeah, of course, you don’t live the beta’s nightmare, but you have to go through a lot of practice and deal with plenty of challenges. So, either an alpha or beta, it won’t be easy for you.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 09:55 am, 13th January 2016That makes no sense. As an Alpha your practice stage is temporary. As a beta your unhappiness is forever. Alpha is much better than beta.
Carmichael Red
Posted at 10:26 am, 13th January 2016Being alpha or striving to become alpha is about being completely human (negative/positive traits combined). Everything in the world be it the law, society, upbringing, religion, etc suppresses these basic human needs. Outcome independence is huge because when you die, you lived life on your terms without compromise. Which is not talked about because majority of the population is taught and bends their will to fulfillment of another’s goals the sake of very temporary happiness.
They are hugely outcome dependent. “I took out the garbage, can we have sex hunny?” “I got a raise, can I have sex with you hunny?” What BD’s current post on FB doesn’t cover is what led to rampant dissatisfaction in sexual relationships after the woman gets married and achieves her main goal (which is covered beautifully in this blog).
Afterwards Shut down city. In life you’re only as strong as your options. Full Stop. Or become most of the guys I know, great job, mediocre girlfriend, addicted to drugs, porn and entertainment devices.
Minister
Posted at 01:11 pm, 13th January 2016The practice stage is forever, because you have to put an everyday effort to retain your alphaness. If you relax for a while, then welcome back to beta.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 01:25 pm, 13th January 2016Incorrect, for several reasons.
1. I put in near-zero effort to remain Alpha. It’s all automatic for me. I only actually go on the dating sites once a year or less these days, for example. All my relationship stuff is automatic for me; no “effort” required. (As I said ,when I got started it was a lot of work, but that was temporary and many years ago.)
2. The amount of “effort” an experienced Alpha has to put forth in a given year of his life is a tiny fraction of the pain, limits, and sacrifice a beta must endure in that same year (unless he is a very naturally submissive, weak man).
You’re trying to make a comparison as if they’re both exactly the same. Untrue. There are advantages to beta, but being a beta is worse overall than being Alpha.
Dawson Stone
Posted at 11:47 pm, 13th January 2016At first I thought your Alpha 2.0 responses were a joke. I really thought you were kidding. Here would be mine responses.
Mine: No worries. But how are you going to make it up to me? [I was double booked anyway and hook up with the other girl. I would NEVER tell her I was fucking someone else. All downside. No upside. Never be emotionally punishing EVER!]
Mine: If you aren’t comfortable meeting just the two of us, I totally understand. Best of luck to you. [I was double booked anyway and hooked up with the other girl instead]
Mine: I have really enjoyed the time we had together. You are a great girl and I really hope you find what you are looking for.
Mine: I am sorry this isn’t working for you and I totally understand. I have really enjoyed the time we had together. You are a great girl and I really hope you find what you are looking for.
If you have set the power dynamic up properly this will never happen.
Mine: Hey baby. Did you have a good time tonight?
Mine: If you are stalking her Facebook you have too much time on your hands. Get a life.
Mine: if you setup the power dynamic right this will never happen.
Mine: Sure baby.
Mine: I am sorry you are upset. When you calm down let me know and we can talk about things. [then leave, hang up, etc.]
And for the record, none of this is “game.” It is all a matter of simply not tolerating bad behavior, NEVER be emotionally punishing, extract your ego and emotions from your responses, be a decent human being and communicate directly and clearly. It really isn’t that hard when you boil it down.
POB
Posted at 02:08 am, 14th January 2016@Dawson
Do you realize you’re just repeating BDs answers only with a more literal “nicer” tone?
What you’re missing here is that you should never actually say those things to a woman’s face (who is the lunatic who says “Ok honey, I’ll be fucking another chick tonight….bye”, are you crazy?), but rather communicate in a way she understands what’s going on (non-verbals and silence work too, even better IMO).
I’ll give you a recent example: I’m seeing girl X, she gets pissed off for whatever reason and blow the drama whistle. My actions were rather simple:
1) immediately say good bye as if nothing happened (thus giving her a chance to calm down)
2) three days of radio silence
On the forth day I hit her again and another drama episode ensues. I just write “Ok” and go on with my life, mission and other business. There’s no need to say anything, my actions are more than enough. If she does not get the message (drama=no me) than she’s more than welcome to be with another guy. Simple as that.
tony
Posted at 05:57 am, 14th January 2016i’ve been guilty of being an alpha 1.0 many times in my life. i’m probably more successful than most men out there when it comes to women, but being a 2.0 is something that i’m still working on to this day because it’s just not natural for me at all.
anyway, i’ve spent a lot of time reading your articles and tweets and you obviously know what you’re talking about. i used to read so much “advice” from different PUA and learned that most of them are just fake losers who are as clueless as i once was. now, there’s literally 2 guys out there who’s word i treat as gospel. you’re now the third because you echo a lot of what they say, but in a more modern way.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 10:30 am, 14th January 2016He’s nitpicking as usual. It’s his hobby.
In the article I very clearly said these responses are thoughts, not necessarily spoken words.
If you’ve identified that A) you’re behaving this way, and B) it’s making you unhappy, that’s about 60% of the battle. Most Alpha 1.0s are not consciously aware they behave this way (they think it’s “normal”) and not consciously aware it’s making them less happy.
Some of them are aware these things make them less happy, but don’t care, since they value control over happiness. Those are the true-blue, self-aware Alpha 1.0s. If being less happy is your conscious choice, then that’s your choice, but at least you’re making the choice and not just suffering because you’re on autopilot.
AwareManNYC
Posted at 04:11 am, 18th January 2016Is it really Alpha 2.0 to react so quickly with the “No worries, I’ll go fuck someone else tonight” language. This expresses insecurity in my view rather than strength, and also seems rude. The immediate expression that you are going to fuck someone else tonight seems to state that you are heat or in some way desperate to have to fuck someone that night, which doesn’t seem Alpha 2.0. From what BD has said in the past, he doesn’t always seem to have a woman waiting to come over. Why “tonight”?
Also, why “fuck someone else”? Isn’t it possible to express your outcome independence and strength without commodifying the woman as just someone to fuck. After all, BD’s strict Alpha 2.0 guidelines don’t seem to include treating women badly or rudely or disrespectfully.
Why not express your own security, values, and independence, without being an asshole? I’m assuming that being an asshole isn’t required of an Alpha 2.0. Tubarao, referenced above, focuses on fulfilling his vision of the man he wants to be and emphasizes how much love he has in his live with all the people he is involved with.
There must be a way to express the Alpha 2.0 role to a woman without being so rude. Being rude is a sign of weakness, a sign that you have to score points to feel good about yourself.
BD, can you suggest more polite ways to express that you are dominant and outcome independent?
Caleb Jones
Posted at 10:29 am, 18th January 2016To repeat for the third time, in the article I very clearly said these responses are thoughts, not necessarily spoken words.
(Ah, reading comprehension on the internet…sigh.)
So to react with that frame and those thoughts? Yes. To react with those exact words? Maybe, depending on the exact situation.
Huh? Why?
Because the Alpha 2.0 lives a life of abundance. Sex is not a scarce resource for him (like it is with betas) and amazing, high-quality women are also not a scarce resource (like it is for some Alpha 1.0s). So if he wants to have sex tonight with someone else, he can, no problem. He’s not like the typical guy (including many Alpha 1.0s) who can have sex with someone else, but has no idea how long it will take or what kind of effort will be required.
Because if you can’t, you’re completely dependent on that one woman giving you drama as your only source of sex and female energy. This is scarcity, and will result in your unhappiness (to some degree) and some level of neediness (unless you’re an extremely low sex drive man).
I’m never doing that in the case of an MLTR or OLTR (some FBs, yes, especially if they give me drama). Women in your life need to understand that you’re a sexual man with sexual needs. If they don’t, you will end up as the typical husband or live-in boyfriend who lives with less sex than he wants.
Exactly, and that is exactly why she will know that I’m not commodifying her for sex. I’ve already laid in the foundations to demonstrate I think so much more of her than that (again assuming she’s an MLTR or OLTR, not FB).
How am I being an asshole?
For the fourth time, I am not recommending an Alpha 2.0 use the exact spoken wording in the above article.
It would depend on the scenario. If you’d like to give me a detailed hypothetical I could tell you how a 2.0 should verbally respond.
However! Even if more polite than the wording in the above in the article, that doesn’t mean a woman will like it, or won’t hate it. If your definition of “polite” is “anything that emotionally bothers her,” then you’re shit out of luck. Ensuring you never say anything she won’t like is the path of the beta.
Heisse
Posted at 02:01 pm, 12th February 2016BD,
With all due respect, I’ll disagree here with you.
We all know several things:
– If something can be misunderstood, it will be (Murphy’s Law).
– People scan, not read from computer screens and reading comprehension with flickering screens is lower than with paper (web usability studies).
– There may be noobs reading this who may take things literally.
So, considering the limitations of the medium, we all need to write things online in a way that minimizes chances of misinterpreting.
Thus, I’d say what you actually say to a girl and then indicate your thoughts in square brackets, for instance [like this]. From your words we may learn your exact execution and from your thoughts we’ll learn the underlying principles.
So, I’d do it this way.
—–
2. Girl sends a text saying that for their first date tonight, she’s now bringing along two of her girlfriends.
Alpha 2.0: Hey, that’s great! Let’s forget about tonight and meet up on Thursday instead. [I don’t do friend zone so I’m going to fuck someone else tonight. Bye!]
—–
And I do like Dawson’s replies more: they are less confrontational while preserving the same alphaness and outcome independence. I don’t believe being unnecessarily confrontational is a good idea. Dawson’s approach is iron hand in a velvety fleece glove.
By the way, note that in example 2, Dawson dumped the girl on the spot while BD gave her another chance.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 02:58 pm, 12th February 2016NO. I am not responsible for either A) idiots, B) people who didn’t learn how to read properly in grade school, or C) people in a hurry who don’t bother to read the clear and literal words I write.
If your argument is that I must dumb down all my writing to the sixth-grade level, so it can be read by idiots, because the internet is conducive to lower reading comprehension, then you and I will have to agree to disagree, because I will never, ever, ever do this. This blog is a smart guy writing smart stuff for smart readers. Everyone else can fuck off, go away, and go post comments on YouTube where the stupid comments belong.
Most of the internet is dumb enough already. I will not be contributing to its further dumbness.
That’s a good idea. Maybe I’ll do that in an future post. But again, this post was about living and conveying an attitude, not about direct words to use.
How is saying “bye” and leaving confrontational?
Correct. In that scenario I would give her another chance.
Heisse
Posted at 07:12 am, 13th February 2016BD,
You react very emotionally to my words as if they were a personal attack. They were not. I’m just comparing approaches, not personalities. I’m not saying I’m or someone else is better than you. We’re all here on the path to change and improve, aren’t we?
I’m just comparing approaches to situations here. I’d love it if Dawson chimes in.
I was just suggesting to write super-clearly, not in dumbed down Simple English. My reading comprehension is top 5% in GRE, and I have a post grad degree but I missed the opening of the article where you said it’s thoughts going through your head, not the actual words you say. So it’s the medium, not stupid readers.
You say:
—-
But again, this post was about living and conveying an attitude, not about direct words to use.
—-
Why not give a sample script as well? We all know how important proper wording is in negotiation and sales. This is a negotiation process, basically. Plus, an actual example would help your readers implement your ideas, improve the quality of your instruction, and improve your image as a teacher.
As far as you being confrontational, sorry, I picked a wrong word. Terse may be a better choice.
——-
4. Girl issues an ultimatum. If he doesn’t stop doing X, she’ll leave him.
BD Alpha 2.0: Okay! Bye!
Dawson: I am sorry this isn’t working for you and I totally understand. I have really enjoyed the time we had together. You are a great girl and I really hope you find what you are looking for.
——
Here, on the surface, Dawson is soft and understanding. In essence, though, he actually dumps her first. His approach is really an iron fist in furry glove. Yours is actually more forgiving.
Dawson, why do you not give them the second chance like BD does?
Caleb Jones
Posted at 10:14 am, 13th February 2016I’m not emotional about it at all. My answer was emphatic, not emotional. I don’t care either way. And I know it wasn’t a personal attack; if it was I would have removed your comment. I’m not upset at you or anyone else.
I have no idea why you think I would think that.
I am already writing super-clearly. I’ll do you a favor. Let me copy and paste exactly what I said at the top of the article, emphasis mine:
Below are the typical thoughts experienced by the three types of men (beta males, Alpha Male 1.0s, and Alpha Male 2.0s) in various dating situations. Sometimes these men actually verbalize these thoughts, though often they just think them and verbalize something else. Regardless, this is what goes through their minds.
Now with your top 5% reading comprehension, look me in the eye and tell me that’s not clear when you read those words. Be very honest.
You nitpickers are really amazing sometimes.
You missed it because you rushed. You glanced at the top paragraph (glancing isn’t reading) and dropped right down to the good stuff. If you rushed, despite the fact I was writing very clearly, that was your fault because of this. My guess is you were reading it on your phone while doing something else (though that’s only a guess). Again, this is your fault, not mine.
Go back and re-read my comment. I didn’t say it was just stupid readers. I also said it was because people are in a hurry and rushing (like you did). If the medium is more conducive to people rushing (like you did) so be it. Doesn’t change a thing.
Guess what? I comment on blogs myself. I never comment on a blog post until I’m sure I’ve read every word of the post. It’s not that difficult. I have never rushed through a blog post then made an opposing comment about it. That would be stupid.
My responsibility is to write clearly, and I do.
Your responsibility as a commenter on this blog is to read every word I write before you comment on it, particularly if you disagree with what you think I wrote, so we don’t waste each other’s time. This is so important, it’s Rule Number 3 here. If you want me to dumb down what I write because stupid or rushed people don’t bother to read all the words I write, I have no interest. I’d rather my readers take responsibility for their own actions. But that’s me.
Dawson Stone
Posted at 08:39 pm, 13th February 2016@Heisse
It isn’t about giving girls a 2nd chance (or 3rd or 4th or 5th) but about the power dynamic. It is interesting that you used the sales analogy because it is the perfect analogy. Almost no one responds well to a high pressure sale. The Sandler (David Sandler) Method of selling is IMO the most effective and it is all about controlling the power dynamic. My approach is the same.
When a women issues an ultimatum it is an effort to gain CONTROL of the situation. If she is hot, she has used the ultimatum approach many times in the past and it has often worked. My response IMO gives me the best chance to take control of the situation back.
In over 50% of the cases after I have used my “I am sorry this isn’t working for you…” response the women will contact me back with something along the lines of “I am sorry I said that. I didn’t mean it. Can I see you again?” Sometimes this occurs in a few hours. Sometimes a few months. But in ALL cases when they respond this way, I now have set the power dynamic back to where I want it to be.
And in case you are wondering, my response to her apology will always be the same.
“That’s ok baby. But how are you going to make it up to me?”
You would be shocked by the responses I get.
“How about if I came over right now, sucked your cock, let you fuck me and then gave you a nice massage?”
I do want to make a comment about thoughts versus actions since you and BD were going back and forth on that a bit. I try to keep mine as close to being the same as possible. People often think my approach (and the approach of others) is “game.” I don’t think it is. I am not trying to control another person. I am simply exerting control over myself. My words. My thoughts. My actions. As in any negotiation, and let’s not kid ourselves, all relationships are a negotiation, you want a good outcome and an outcome you can accept and enjoy. For me, in the vast majority of situations, my words and thoughts are the same. The reason I think people respond to this approach is that it is authentic. I mean the words I say. There are OTHER words I could use that I would also mean but those words would weaken my negotiation position which I have no interest in doing for obvious reasons.
I hope my explanation make sense. Best of luck to you.
Heisse
Posted at 12:27 pm, 14th February 2016Dawson,
Thank you for your thought out reply.
I loved the making up to you idea. What other responses did you get from girls to that demand?
What book on negotiations would you recommend that’s applicable to relationship situations?
Dawson Stone
Posted at 01:53 pm, 14th February 2016@Heisse
The vast majority of times they respond in one of two ways:
1. Something sexual or
2. “I don’t know, what did you have in mind”
I have never seen a book on negotiations as it relates to relationships. That is kind of an interesting concept. There could be an entire book on that topic as it relates to negotiating through a divorce. The problem is there is so much nuance to doing it well but there are some core principles:
– Never let your ego or emotions rule you
– Never be emotionally punishing
– Be as authentic as possible while not exposing your weaknesses
Hope that helps.
Heisse
Posted at 05:05 pm, 14th February 2016@Dawson:
1. Something sexual
——
Do you reluctantly agree or do you demand something additional? If you do up the ante, are your additional demands sexual or not?
2. “I don’t know, what did you have in mind”
—–
How do you respond here?
Juggler used to demand something non-sexual so she would understand that sex is a given, not a bargaining chip.
Dawson Stone
Posted at 07:28 pm, 14th February 2016@Heisse
It depends. Most of my relationships have a significant Dominant/submissive component to them. In those cases I might respond, “Well that’s a good start but of course you will have to be punished. How else will you learn?”
In the second case it totally depends on the woman, what kind of mood I am in, and who else I am seeing at the moment. If I already have a solid rotation I am happy with at the moment I might ask for something outrageous. If not, perhaps less so. In one case, the ultimatum the girl had given me was because a girlfriend of hers told her to. I told her I wouldn’t see her again unless it was to have a threesome with her and the girlfriend that had given her bad advice. It didn’t happen but I honestly didn’t care either way and it would have made for a funny story if it had panned out.
And trust me, any chick I am seeing understands that sex is a given.
Martin
Posted at 05:51 pm, 24th March 2016Another piece of perfection.
My take-away:
I don’t give a FUCK. Work on the mission.
I don’t give a FUCK. Work on the mission.
I don’t give a FUCK. Work on the mission.
This is a BEAUTIFUL way to fucking think. I don’t give a FUCK. Work on the mission.
Simple, to the point, and no doubt effective. Such fucking CLARITY of mind. Don’t worry about SHIT. Just work on the mission. GREAT. This will kill a LOT of the Beta in ME.
Viking
Posted at 12:07 pm, 6th July 2016Hi there,
no offence, pls pls pls stop…..this is so funny I can’t
stop laughing, I think your World is divided up in
to Worlds, either your loved, or your hated with a passion…
this blog is absolutly so god damn funny. There is no denying
that many, both woman and men will get offended, but it’s very hard
to dismiss things you have expierenced hands on.
It’s cruel, it’s out right funny to read, but it’s also the truth in many
respects.
(spelling errors might apear) ohh well
regards from Denmark
ABLACKMANAPART
Posted at 01:05 pm, 12th August 2016I just discovered your blog. I am a Black Man. I am Alpha 2.0 without ever really thinking about it.. But that’s the the thing, what you call Alpha 2..0 is just instinctive to a SELECT FEW MEN.
Leo
Posted at 05:41 pm, 20th September 2016I want to be a man like this. I have no mission and my days are passing. Currently, I am reading the mission chapter of your book again. I will do that exercise you suggested.