Workplace Relationships

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It is insanity of the highest order to think that fucking someone at your work WON'T end very badly, with lots of drama, and with lots of embarrassment.  If you're a man, you have the added risk of being subject to legal action, losing out on higher raises and promotions, and/or losing your job.

-By Caleb Jones

Not all things that look good are good ideas. I know what you're thinking.  "Yeah, yeah, don't date women at work, it's a bad idea, blah, blah, next topic please!" It is precisely because you're thinking this way that I have to make a post about this.  Dipshit.  Now shut up and listen.  I'm trying to help you here.

I'm willing to bet that at least, at least 25% of the people reading these words have either gotten sexual with someone at their work or has tried to get sexual with someone at their work.  My absolute favorite is when married people start cheating by fucking someone at their work.  (Talk about stupid on top of stupid.)

I've worked with literally hundreds of companies in my career and I constantly see workplace fucking, even by people who are otherwise reasonably intelligent and put-together.

"Yeah, yeah, I know all of this," you say.

Oh really?  Then why does everyone still do this?  

Even back in my early 20's when I was a young, inexperienced AFC, I maintained the policy of never fucking anyone I currently worked with.  Even back then I saw the chaos and destruction office romances (or more often, office flings) caused everyone.  It's been almost 20 years and to this day I have never violated that rule with one partial exception a few years ago when someone lied to me.  (It's a long complicated story and maybe someday I'll tell it.)  This is coming from a guy who works with lots of women in lots of companies who could fuck plenty of women in the workplace if I wanted to.

I don't.

I have even been propositioned by women at my work on more than one occasion.  I still don't go there.

It's not that hard.  You shouldn't either.

Let me tell you what it says about YOU if you fuck or date someone at your current workplace:

1. You are lazy.  The big reason people date people at work is because it's the easy way out.  You think (incorrectly) that you don't have to go out and meet people if you've got that semi-fuckable chick over in accounting.  Any time I see people dating people at their workplace (which is all the time), my very first thought is "Lazy!"

Stop being a pussy and putting your job and your financial future at risk, and use the resources available to you (especially this blog and the ebooks on online dating and seduction) and get out there, practice, and GET LAID.  Let the women at work wonder about you and fantasize about you.  Don't fuck them.

2. You have self-esteem issues.  You think fucking chicks at work is "easier" because they "already know you" and girls out there "won't like you".  Don't tell me you don't think that.  If you're playing with someone at work, I know you think that.  Guys have given me that excuse often.

Guess what?  (I'm going to really blow your mind here.)  It is easier to fuck women who don't already know you than women who do and are still platonic with you.  Hit clubs/bookstores/dating sites/whatever, and you'll be shocked how much easier it is to fuck that girl you just met than the hot chick in marketing who's known all about you and your dirty laundry for two years now.
3. You don't give a shit about your job.  Actually, this excuse I don't really have a big problem with.  If you really don't care about your job, and you're all "Hey if I get fired I don't fuckin' care!", that's great.  I have a better idea for you then. Get your ass over to Monster.com, throw up your resume, hit the want ads, go on some interviews, and FIND A NEW JOB THAT YOU ACTUALLY LIKE OR PAYS BETTER OR IS MORE CONGRUENT TO YOUR FUTURE CAREER GOALS.  Novel idea, I know.

(And please don't give me any shit about "jobs" or the bad economy.  Believe me I'm well aware the economy sucks.  I don't care.  I have a certain someone in my family who is an ex-convict, high school dropout, no college education, warehouse worker.  He got laid off a few weeks ago.  He didn't whine or cry.  He woke up early in the morning and hit the street hard looking for a new job.

He had one within three days...all while some of his friends who have been unemployed for an entire year keep crying like babies about how "there's no jobs out there".  Stupid. Or should I say lazy.  Oh it's sooooo easy to blame your problems on things external to you, isn't it?  Stop making excuses, take charge of your life, be a man, and make it happen.  It's not as hard as you think.)

4. You have oneitis.  I see this sometimes too.  Wow.  If you've got oneitis for a coworker you're currently fucking, man, you've put yourself in the worst position I can think of short of being monogamously married with no prenup. Get some balls and man up fast.  This is not going to end well for you.

Techniques To Work Around This

Okay.  I had to slap you around a little to get your attention.  I really don't want to be Mr. Negative, so let's talk about some happy stuff now.

There are ways you can fuck women via your job without violating this rule.  Here's a few.

1. This one is the best.  If you meet a hot chick at work, be nice, get her number, email, and get her on your Facebook.  Then stay away from her and do your best to ignore her as much as humanly possible.  Do NOT talk to her or get to know her or any of that shit.  Be polite, but stay away.  Stay mysterious.  Make her wonder why you're not hitting on her or kissing her ass like all the other men in the office.

Weeks or months or (if nessessary) years later, when you or her leave the  job, THEN hit her up, meet up with her on a date, escalate, and fuck her. I have fucked many women doing exactly this, including some really hot ones.  Even back in my young AFC days this worked.  The woman I dated right before the woman I eventually married was damn near an ten, and I was able to score her as a somewhat geeky AFC with little seduction skill at age 23 by doing exactly what I just described (and that was before the internet!).

The point is you can't fuck women at your work but they're free game once you don't work with them any more. If you have the kind of job/business where you see lots of one-time customers briefly and then never again, you could easily build up an entire roster of ex-coworker women you can "work".  Right after my divorce, I fucked a lot of women very quickly...this is exactly how I did it.

2. Fucking women at work who are only peripherally involved is probably okay.  For example, fucking a woman who works in your office, regardless of how big your office is, is a no-no.  But fucking the cute FedEx girl who you see maybe twice a month for a few minutes at a time?  Eh...that might be okay.  I would still be very careful, but I see no major problem with it. The same goes for a woman who might work in the company but at a complete different building across town that you never physically visit.  I probably still wouldn't do it, but it's more of a grey area than an absolute.

3. Fucking friends and relatives of people at work, unless it's your boss or boss's boss, is perfectly okay!  Those women are fair game.  Hit 'em all you like (just don't walk around the office bragging about it).

Next time you get the urge to fuck someone at work, be like Nancy Reagan and just say no.  More importantly, get out there using any style of game you like (night game, day game, online game, etc) and GET LAID so you don't feel this AFC urge to fuck women at your workplace.

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