-By Caleb Jones

UPDATE: When I first wrote this blog post, I thought the woman I was talking about was separated. In fact she was not. It was a joke she made on her blog. It doesn’t change what I’m talking about below, since this blog post describes what she’s thinking (i.e. her being stuck in a marriage to a boring, submissive beta and her desiring something more sexual and exciting), rather than doing, but I wanted to make that correction clear. That being said I would easily bet $1000 (or more!) that the woman showcased here will eventually either end up cheating on her husband or divorcing him. When you read on you’ll discover why.

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: I was right. Even after defending her marriage in the comments of this post, on January 1st, 2013, she announced on her blog she had indeed separated from her husband for real. Just a month later she announced she had a new boyfriend while still “having a husband”. WOMEN. HATE. MONOGAMY. They will swear up and down they love it. They will fight you if you say they don’t. Don’t buy it.

It’s a common misconception, though it is slowly being eroded as time goes on, that men are the cheating sexual pigs and women are sweet little virginal angels who love monogamy. Of course, this is complete crap. Stats show that women cheat pretty much as often as men, and in very long relationships or marriages they actually cheat more.

I can also tell you for a fact that women overwhelmingly are more comfortable with open or semi-open relationships than men are. Say to a person “open relationship” where both parties are allowed to have meaningless sex on the side, and it’s usually MEN who throw a shit fit tantrum, while often women will assume a pensive look and say “Hm…”. Let’s also not forget that 82% of all divorces are initiated by the female, and this percentage is about the same in non-married BF/GF relationships that end.

Women hate monogamy. Or more accurately, women hate monogamy too. (We men aren’t very big on it either.)

Latest case in point is this post right here that was recently showcased on WordPress.com as “Freshly Pressed”, i.e. one of the posts “to read”. Oh it’s “to read” alright. It’s written by the typical stressed-out, why-is-my-life-so-hard over-33 modern-day woman I’ve written about many times before.

Before I start quoting her, let me be clear that she is attempting to be sarcastic and funny here. However, as you read you’ll see the truth shine through. Though she’s trying to be funny, this stuff is coming from somewhere within her that is very real. Here are some of the highlights:

Last night I had a particularly hideous bedtime with the kids, in which I lost my temper and screamed one sentence that likely permanently scratched my vocal chords and everyone cried and once they were asleep, I was incapable of any more rational thought…

Very accurate and I couldn’t have said it better myself. This chaos and unhappiness is normal fare for the modern-day single mother, especially the over-33 types.

When I was younger and more obviously “hot” as opposed to somewhat hot on a good day when I have concealer on and the lighting is right and I’m not scowling which always make me look jowly, men would often say the following to me:

“Man, if I was single…” the implication being that if there wasn’t some pesky wife or girlfriend to get in the way, he would gladly hump me for a while, before moving on to someone else he could cheat on me with.

Yes, that’s exactly what he’s thinking. And you’re thinking the same thing, Sweetie. Almost all monogamous people are, other than those very old folks (and even some of those…). That’s because people don’t like being long-term monogamous. Oh, they say they do. They pretend they do. But they don’t.

Now read these next two quotes very, very carefully…

While flattering, I always thought the expression “If I were single” to be unbelievably insulting to the wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend/roommate-you-occasionally-copulate-with-when-too-drunk-to-say-no-who-thinks-you’re-in-a-relationship. I always felt that I couldn’t imagine my life without my husband and children and didn’t care to and what a cad you are, sir.

Under the guise of humor and sarcasm, you see righteous, ASD-driven indignation about how wanting to fuck someone else on the side is an evil awful horrible terrible despicable insulting thing. Right? But the very next thing she says is:

However now that I am “separated” and while I actively choose to be monogamously married, I can actually imagine a life in which I am self-sufficient enough to survive without my husband.

Did you see that? If you “get” what she just said, you just saw the biggest instant 180-degree switcheroo you’ve ever seen in your life. Does “survive without my husband” mean “be monogamous to my husband”? Of course not! It means fucking someone else! (Or at a minimum it means fucking nobody, but as you read more of her stuff below you’ll realize this is not what she has in mind).

The concept of fucking someone else went from evil awful terrible to something that she very subtly implies might be just fine. Her further statements below confirm this.

Do you see how fragile Disney monogamy is, and how fast women (and men!) do a mental 180 when it’s not fun any more?

If you read the link she mentions about her fake “separation”, you’ll find she has been married for 14 years to an extreme beta male, a man who will go to therapy by himself because she orders him to. All of her sexual attraction for him destroyed because of his supplicating beta providership for her, she’s now ready to pursue, at least mentally at this point, what she really wants:

The fantasies occur in an imaginary parallel universe where I am rich, childless and single, and everyone else on earth is rich, childless and single, and everyone I desire desires me, so no one gets hurt and also my husband was never born hence I never met him so I have never been really and truly in love and never had children (I am SO thin) and life is still one long fun party.

Boom. There it is. This is what women want and what women like. Not only sex with men, but men lusting over them. Note how everyone is “childless” in her fantasy. The reason she wants this is because she already has kids. If she was in her early 20’s and had no kids yet, I promise you her fantasy would include kids somewhere. Now she’s had them, she’s “done”. (Remember I have always said women are biologically wired to want two children.)

So then she talks about the multiple men she wants to fuck:

1.This man… Who shall remain nameless.
I will do things to him and he will do things to me and I hate that I am alive and he is alive and we have never met (I smell a restraining order…)
2. Lest you think I’m monogamous in this fantasy, there is also this man, who will bounce on top of me, likely requiring extensive chiropractic… but it will be WORTH IT.
They’re very different aren’t they? Unless they are both drug addicts/alcoholics – in which case I’m right on type.
3. Italy. Just, Italy. I will live there. There will be cheese. Gelato. Sometimes a museum. Numbers 1. and 2. will live in separate rooms in my Tuscan Villa breathlessly awaiting my arrival. They will have no life in their respective rooms, each will not even know the other exists, just read books while I’m gone so they are ready to amuse me with endless quips/pleasure me when I return. They will intuitively know when I want to be roughly manhandled and gently held while I cry.

Now that she’s finally freed herself (sort of) from the shackles of boring long-term monogamy to a beta male, which she hates, and likely has always hated starting at about the three or four year-mark in her marriage (though she won’t admit that), she now wants to fuck multiple good-looking Alpha males.

Yes, her blog post is tongue-in-cheek, but I promise you she’s using comedy to cloak some of her core desires, or at least a variation of them. Women do this often. Society trains women to not show their strong desire for sex or even promiscuity, so they have to often cloak their (true) sexual desires around comedy.

She ends her blog post with:

Fuck my life.

Indeed.

You guys with serious monogamous girlfriends or fiancees you plan on spending a long-term monogamous “future” with might want to consider what’s actually going on in her head.

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