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-By Caleb Jones
They've always been with me. They don't go from pillar to post; they're not flown here and there with nannies. That's never happened. My kids don't go back and forth; none of this 50/50 time with the mums and dads – my children live with me; that is it. That is it!
In response, a U.K. based father's rights group called Fathers4Justice put out the above advertisement against her.
Kate Winslet is now threatening to sue Fathers4Justice.
As always, we need to put everything in context:
- Kate Winslet has three kids from three different men. (Yeah. Chew on that one for a minute.) She has also been marred three times and divorced twice (so far).
- Kate Winslet's current temporary husband is a man named, and I'm not kidding here, Ned Rocknroll. Yes, he actually had his name legally changed to that. He's Richard Branson's nephew who, not surprisingly, works for Richard Branson. I'm sure you can read between the lines on that one.
- In her defense, Kate Winslet is a world famous multimillionaire married to another multimillionaire, which means the rules for having and raising kids are different for her than for most other people.
Let's start with that third point first. If you're a woman who literally has millions of dollars laying around, is it okay to crank out a bunch of babies with a bunch of guys?
Yes. It's fine. I am not worried about Kate Winslet going down to the welfare office and demanding free money from my hard-earned tax dollars. I'm also not super worried about Kate's babies growing up to be criminals on the street who will rob me at gunpoint. Instead, they'll likely grow up to be privileged, dorky rich kids, like Ned Rocknroll, who will do a lot of drugs and blow their inheritance on stupid shit. I have no problem with that.
Kate could crank out another 20 children and I still would not be worried about it in the least. She has the financial wherewithal to crank out as many babies from as many men as she likes.
The problem starts when she starts publicly bragging about this stuff, and stating or implying that other women should do this. Kate Winslet, and many other Strong Independent Hollywood Women™ I could name, often forget that most of the women they're talking to usually have no money, no jobs or low-paying jobs, and zero prospects of marrying a multimillionaire some day.
If the typical woman has three babies from three different men, or even ONE baby outside of a financially stable relationship with a financially stable and responsible guy, that woman is in for a world of pain, lasting two decades, unlike anything Kate Winslet will ever experience.
That's why when these women throw around about how they can "raise their own damn kids" and how they "don't need a man", they have no idea what kind of chaos they're causing. Yes Kate, YOU don't need a man, but 99% of the millions of women listening to you DO need a man, at least to some degree, in order to have kids while living a relatively happy life (not to mention a providing a quality upbringing for those children).
Kids Need Dads, Even If Mom Is Rich
I'm not sure why I even need to say this. Kids need dads. Even if their moms are multimillionaires, those kids still need their dads, especially if those kids are boys. (Though little girls need dads too.)
Men who grow up without fathers usually end up being the biggest beta male pussies on the planet. I work with lots of these guys, and let me tell you, these guys have a lot of problems as adults and often end up very, very unhappy.
Women who grow up without fathers become adolescents and adults who don't understand how to relate to a man in a healthy relationship, and often become either man-haters or recklessly promiscuous, having lots of babies as single mothers and continuing the evil cycle. I spend 2-4 days a week these days with my teenage daughter, because I want to make sure that when she graduates to adulthood she'll be accustomed to relating to a masculine presence in her life. I want both of my kids to be balanced adults...and this is impossible if you're just raised by your mother, even if she's the best mother in the world.
Of course if a child's biological father is a drug addict or physically abusive or hates kids, that's a different story. Keep the guy far away from the kids, and get a new positive male role model in that kid's life ASAP. But I'm reasonably sure Kate's children don't have evil monsters for fathers. Hell, one of the fathers is Sam Mendes, the guy who directed Skyfall. You're going to tell me that his kid won't be a little screwed up by rarely spending time with his father? (Especially when the temporary surrogate father is a fucking guy named Rocknroll?)
I have no problem whatsoever with Kate Winslet's lifestyle. I have a huge problem with the many women who will consciously or subconsciously be following in Kate's footsteps on a path to doom.
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OBEYX 2014-01-16 06:55:04
Yup 19 year old male raised by a "strong independent black women" you always hear about in the media. Boy it's especially hard when your dad is a complete beta male(due to being raised by single mom also) but I'm definitely working on improving my condition due your work BD and the seduction community. Any places where I can seek guidance with just being "a well adjusted man" though?
maldek 2014-01-16 09:08:41
Great post! (y)
Blackdragon 2014-01-16 09:09:52
Do your best to find a real-life mentor / role model. I talk about that here.
Jon 2014-01-16 15:00:03
I wonder if she gets child support from dads one and two...
William W. 2014-01-16 16:45:29
I agree that finding a real-life mentor is crucial, but hard to do. Another leader in the PUA community has started a group that gets you access to decent mentors in your local community, if there are any, and gives you interactive real-time on-line mentor presence otherwise. It's a pretty cool idea -- but expensive right now as there are start-up expenses to cover. I've decided to give it a try anyway -- I'll let you know how it goes. This other leader in the PUA community has awesome material and exercises for improving day and night game, but in my opinion he is sorely lacking in relationship management -- I stick to BlackDragon for that kind of information.
AKA 2014-01-16 17:43:47
Kids do need their dads. We all know how batshit crazy most females are. Well those are the same women raising a bunch of kids. Boys that are being raised by single women live in a special hell. These women expect their boys to be their own special little man. And when the boys make the typical mistakes that growing boys make, these women do not handle it well.
Wilmot 2014-01-16 18:00:29
I was also brought up by women. Never met my dad. That's why I'm here learning about man stuff on the internet.
eldm 2014-01-16 18:25:58
women with this kind of attitude are basically telling their sons to knock up girls freely then bail, because "women need no man"
Lovergirl 2014-01-16 20:06:41
You have all this criticism for single moms, but then you advocate for men not to get married. How are they going to be responsible for their children and their welfare? See, that to me anyway, is the biggest issue of it all, the main problem. I agree that kids do need a father figure. I had all of mine with the same dad and within the confines of marriage and they were all wanted and planned for, yet he still bailed out amd.doesnt want to take responsibility. Ive noticed, that most of the men I date are REALLY involved dads. Almost without fail they have all had deadbeat or no fathers in their own life amd they seem to be compensating. I think for this reason and because there has been such a focus on the need for black men to step up and be a dad that many of them make huge sacrifices to do so. I met a man the other night who drives 4 hours twice a week just to be able to spend time with his toddler. He was not married to the mom. Melts my heart, especially when my own ex is such a deadbeat. Anyhow, how do you suggest to moms that they have and raise kids, when you are so adamant against men marrying them?
Blackdragon 2014-01-16 20:47:05
I wonder if she gets child support from dads one and two...Wouldn't that be funny?
Boys that are being raised by single women live in a special hell.Agree. There are always unusual exceptions to the rule, but this is almost always the case.
You have all this criticism for single moms, but then you advocate for men not to get married. How are they going to be responsible for their children and their welfare?I've explained that on this blog only about a thousand times. Men should not get legally married, but they are more than welcome to move in with a woman who has a long track record of responsibility, have children with her, and pay child support if necessary. The legal procedure of marriage is not required to have children, raise children, or pay for child support. Getting legally married just adds a layer of bureaucracy and risk that doesn't need to be there for any reason other than false Societal Programming.
I agree that kids do need a father figure. I had all of mine with the same dad and within the confines of marriage and they were all wanted and planned for, yet he still bailed out amd.doesnt want to take responsibility.Yeah, that's because you tried to do long-term monogamy (which, if you recall, you strongly defended at the time). Long-term monogamy doesn't work, as you've now discovered. Monogamy is not required to raise children.
Anyhow, how do you suggest to moms that they have and raise kids, when you are so adamant against men marrying them?Women should only have children under the structure of a proven, long-lived, live-in OLTR with a responsible, mature, and financially solvent man.
Lovergirl 2014-01-16 21:29:40
Yeah, though finding someone who is agreeable to that is still gonna be a challenge for most people, especially women who aren't the dominant type, trying to set out these rules for a relationship. Anyhow, one of the guys in my life is like this. He has had a 13 yr (it may be more.than that even) OLTR. They have a 9 year old and from everything I have seen, he is an awesome dad. He isn't married though and i have to wonder if its because he works in a law office, lol. Im impressed with what they have going. She can play just like he can and he says she does sometimes play and its mostly with single men. He plays with a lot of married women but sometimes single too (like me, lol). He says after their.child.was born she didnt have as much desire to play as he does, but she still can and sometimes does. They started out swinging and telling each other stuff but went to more of a don't ask/dont tell arrangement because the first caused some drama and he's very anti drama, haha. Anyway, in their case it seems to be working very well. Ive been seeing him since August and am very happy with both the sex and amount of attention i get and the relationship. A lot of guys might have trouble managing all that but with him it doesnt seem to be an issue. He sets appropriate boundaries but is affectionate and interested in me and my life. Anyway, i do agree it can work, if there were more guys in the world like him. They have to be willing to forgo jealousy and ideall communicate well enough to keep a long term, non marriage relationship going, PLUS handle whatever they have going on the side. I think his girlfriend and child have it made.
Rick 2014-01-17 17:18:11
"A path to doom" Blackdragon: It's hard for me to understand your position here because there is some sort of philosophical disconnect in your thinking. How do you even live a life that's not doomed? Is existence without doom possible? Everyone I've ever come in contact with/heard about was "doomed" in one way or the other: My grandmother fell down the stairs and ended up on a ventilator. My grandfather had sores on his feel that wouldn't heal - so much so that the bone was showing; he later died from depression after my grandma fell down the stairs. My other grandfather died from heart failure. His wife is still living but I know doom awaits her too. That's not to mention the 5,000 people per day diagnosed with cancer. Or the 1 million each year who commit suicide. You seem to be saying, "Don't do drugs and blow your money because then you lived a doomed existence." But what's worse, some drugs and frivolous spending or dying when a lamp post, struck by a car, falls on your stroller and kills you when you're only 1 year old (happened in my neighborhood last summer). - Rick
Blackdragon 2014-01-17 20:30:31
I was using doom in the figurative sense. "Doom" = lifetime of poverty and stress as a struggling single mother.
David Carter 2014-01-23 08:51:01
@Lovergirl. Is it really any wonder, that after half a century of "the woman's movements" champagne to belittle, ridicule and dismiss Fathers as unnecessary, men are becoming increasingly reluctant to step up to fatherhood? You only have the watch TV shows (eg. Simpsons or Everybody Loves Raymond)where fathers are continuously being portrayed as feckless buffoons to see how pervasive this message has become. Well Guess what? Men have finally got the message and are acting logically by disengaging. Women attempting to shame these Men with names like "deadbeat or Man-child" is disingenuous to say the least and will not work. Blaming Men for the rise in single mother families, is like blaming wet streets for the rain.
Dating Single Mothers | The Blackdragon Blog 2014-04-24 10:40:08
[…] I’m not going to focus on the social or political aspects of single mothers. I’ve discussed that before already. I am also not going to talk about the damage single mothers cause themselves nor the […]
Buzz 2014-10-16 10:20:53
I always look for women that had relationship problems with their father, best kinky girl friends I ever had 🙂
Ginger mic 2015-01-27 12:27:23
I could not agree more with you on this one. Overall I find pieces of your blog that I absolutely agree with and others that I don't (you could probably safely say due to my ASD and Disney-esque residual beliefs). I'm a 29 yo woman in a TMM with a 36 yo man who divorced his previous wife who he has four children with. She's another story in itself, but bottom line she uses the kids as a tool to hurt my husband and cannot fathom that while he divorced her for major abuse issues (physical and emotional), he did NOT abandon his children. He still loves them dearly and does everything in his power to be in their lives. We have two little kids together and now it's painful to watch the pain my husband and his older children go through but now also the pain our kids go through when his ex denies visits and contact. We've been through a lot in the last 8 years, including two combat deployments (met in northern Iraq), but the stress from this is just awful. I want to believe (I know this won't surprise you 😉 ) that we will maintain a happy relationship with each and all six kids for our lifetimes. Even if it doesn't happen, I could never fathom restricting contact between kids and a good, caring father. That would cause my kids pain which would cause me pain. But I'm frankly terrified of these kids ending up in a similar situation. Especially the boys, because until courts become more equitable, custody and access are so unfairly biased towards moms. I'd appreciate a link to any posts you have on raising young people to avoid this pain. Last thing I'll mention is that while I hope for our TMM to be successful, (please don't hope against us!), I respect that you are always honest with your interactions.
Blackdragon 2015-01-27 21:58:31
It pains me to see kids go through this stuff. It's never their fault. I wish society came up with a better solution to handle these kinds of things (much of which would be prevented and/or much alleviated if people followed the relationship models I talk about).
Anne 2015-11-06 09:51:49
No need for marriage or to be together for a man and a woman to love and care for a child