21 Dec Online Dating and Location
Today is something I have never discussed in detail. This is the regional differences you will encounter that will negatively or positively affect your online dating success.
Obviously, most of my online dating experience has been in the areas where I’ve lived, which is in the Seattle / Portland area. Regardless, for over six years now I’ve talked to hundreds of men all over the Western world regarding online dating, either via my newsletter or my online dating profile critiques, and I’ve gleaned a lot of interesting information regarding the differences in online dating men run into in different cities and regions.
-By Caleb Jones
A few examples off the top of my head:
When I started talking to guys in the bay area (San Francisco, Oakland, San Jose, etc), I noticed very quickly that women online there were much more demanding than was I accustomed to in the Pacific Northwest. Guys hitting online dating hard in the bay area had to learn to put up with and navigate through more demands, shit testing and I-am-woman head-tossing from women online.
As I’ve talked about before, as a (very) white guy, I’ve always had real trouble going after black women. Latina women are workable but also a challenge. However, in talking to white guys who live in the south (Georgia, Tennessee, etc), these men had no problem at all with the black ladies, pulling them online just as easily as white women. The difference is amazing. (FYI, Seattle is the number five whitest city in the US, and Portland is the number one whitest city; that may be related to problem.
Check out some really interesting recent charts right here regarding the racial makeups of US cities.)
I’ve noticed from men in more right-wing, conservative cities like Dallas, older guys pulling younger women is much easier than it is in the very left-wing area I live. I date younger women all the time, but when bringing a new woman into the fold I have zero margin for error and must do everything right. These older guys in more Republican areas seem to have a much easier time with the younger ladies.
In certain eastern cities like New York and Chicago, the amount of female “serial daters” seems to be higher than in other areas of the country/world. As compared to where I live, men in these cities seem to have an easier time getting first dates from online dating sites, but have a harder time turning these dates into fast sex. There are more women in these cities accustomed to platonic window-shopping for men by going out on lots of first dates and getting free food, drinks, and attention.
Let’s get out of the United States for a minute. In talking to many men in Australia, it’s clear those Australian women are REALLY horny. Once they have a new woman out on a date, guys in Australia don’t seem to have to work nearly as hard as us Americans to get to sex quickly. Moreover, an unusually large percentage of the sex-positive email I get from women tends to be from, you guessed it, Australia. It’s quite clear to me that Australian women have less ASD than American ones. (Damn…I really need to get to Australia in 2015; I keep putting that off.)
I could go on and on, but you get the point. Women are different in different places, and this can affect your online dating results…for the worse or better.
Now granted, you will probably be unaware of the problems or advantages of women online where you live unless you move to a different city. If you never move, it’s likely you’ll never realize the good (or bad!) you have on POF, OKC, Match, Tinder, or whatever as compared to other men in other cities. But if you do ever move, you might be in for a shock. I was working with a guy earlier this year who lived in New York and had no problem whatsoever getting laid online. Then he moved to San Francisco, and with the exact same profile, pictures, openers, and messaging approaches, everything was suddenly ten times harder. He had to really, really bust his ass just to get a few dates. Eventually he made it work, but he had to completely re-adjust much of his online game technique to do so.
If you have no trouble getting laid with online dating right now, or move somewhere and suddenly find that it’s much easier to do so, then you probably don’t need any help from me today. But if you are having trouble based on your area, or move and suddenly find online dating more difficult, here’s what you should do to get your results back up.
1. Listen to what the women are are telling you and make some adjustments. For example, if you move from City A to City B, and suddenly women are balking much more often when you pitch a first date quickly, this probably means that women in your new city take a little more rapport time online before they agree to a first date. No problem, bounce her off the dating site and get her onto some other form of communication, like texts, email (for women over 35), Facebook (for women over 24), Snapchat or Kik (for women under 24), WeChat (for Asians), or similar.
Have some banter there, then strongly but nicely pitch the first date again. Plan on first date-closes taking a little more time in your new city.
Here’s the deal though. Don’t move to City B, have two or three women balk at first date pitches, then suddenly declare that all women in your city are bitches and that “online game doesn’t work here.” I’ve seen men do this and it’s a big mistake. Regardless of what city you live in, as long as it’s a decently-sized Western city I promise you there are guys in that town of your age and race who are getting laid very easily from online dating.
What I’m talking about here is if you get multiple women, many in a row, suddenly giving you the same complaint. Two or three women isn’t “multiple” in this context. If 15 women complain about the same thing in your new town, then you’re probably onto something real and need to make some adjustments.
2. Observe some profiles of men your age in your new city and see if there’s a distinct difference in look. It’s possible you may look odd or out of place in your new city. This is particularly true if you’ve changed countries as well. Many American men who move to Europe are surprised at how metrosexual clothing styles are there as compared to the US. If you’re from New Jersey you probably wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a cowboy hat, but if you move to the south your online dating response rates will often increase if you put one on.
I’m not saying be a total clown and dress up in some fake shit you’d never wear in real life. I’m saying that if your response rates plummet in your new city when in your old city they were fine, the most likely reason is that the look in your photos is off based on the “look” of people in your new city, and possibly the “pickyness” of the women who live there.
3. Test the opposite tonal approach in the new city. If you were very cocky and funny online in City A, switch it around and be cool and calm in City B, and see if there’s a difference in results. Or perhaps try mysterious and romantic. Or if you were mysterious and romantic in City A, be more cocky and funny in City B. You get the idea.
Certain vibes that might work in Washington DC or Chicago won’t work well if you move to the Bible Belt and vice versa. I’m talking here about the vibe both in your profile text and in your online messaging to women (online and over texts).
4. Scrap your photos and profile and start all over. I do this regularly anyway. Often it makes sense to chuck everything, get a whole new round of photos taken, and re-do your entire profile from scratch.
By the way, don’t forget I said photos. Lots of guys tell me that “I tried it with an entirely different profile and had the same problem!” when in fact they changed their profile but didn’t change their photos. Photos, as I’ve said before, are at least 80% of the success of your profile. So you didn’t “try a new profile” if you’re using the same old photos.
5. Worst case scenario, forget online game and go to daygame or social circle game instead. Online dating is hands-down the most time-effective way for the busy man to get laid. Yet, while I’d love to say that online game works everywhere, that’s factually untrue. There are some circumstances when online dating isn’t a viable option. For example, I’ve said before that guys who live in towns with populations of fewer than about 300K-400K shouldn’t bother with online game at all. You simply won’t have the proper amount of numbers to work with.
If that’s the case, forget the dating sites and go learn daygame, or if your town is really small, get really good at discreet social circle game. I’ve noticed that guys who get laid a lot in really small towns tend to be social circle game wizards.
Another variation for guys who live in small towns is to suck up the gas costs and do all of your dating in the nearest large city, even if that requires 2-hour drives and the occasional hotel room. I hate spending money like that so I personally would just move, but that’s me.
And speaking of moving, as I always say, if where you live really, really sucks, then MOVE, and don’t give me the usual boo-hoo excuses. If you have to stay in your shitty town for work for a while, then fine, but make specific plans to move to a bigger, easier city by a specific date.
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ObeyX
Posted at 05:51 am, 21st December 2014Great article BD,
In regards to right-wing conservative mid-size to larger sized cities. I’m a black guy who lives in a mid-sized in ohio, with about 28% of the city having a black population, I’ve noticed that online dating has been impossible due to most interracial daters already getting pregnant or already dating a black guy, the novelty factor wore off about 3 years ago in 2011, and results with non-black women have declined tremendously in recent months.
So I’m wondering since older guys have success with younger women in conservative towns, do you think a black guy in white city like portland and seattle (Cities I’m considering moving too in the near future) would my results increase because they are white, liberal cities, or would my results increase in very conservative towns where interracial dating is more forbidden?
The forbidden fruit/novelty factor worked well in the past, but im not so sure now.
JRM
Posted at 07:59 am, 21st December 2014Latinas in general are difficult, but they LOVE white men. I live in Miami and unless they’re real ghetto, if you’re a white guy with your shit together, they will adore you. And man, are they amazing.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 01:30 pm, 21st December 2014I think that’s why they like white men. You live in Miami. My experience and the expereine of ohters demonstrates this isn’t quite as true on the west coast.
Agree! As long as they’re aren’t fat, Latinas are super sexy.
The problem is Latinas are huge tornados of non-stop drama, and since I don’t do drama, it’s very rare I’m with a Latina woman.
I don’t live in your town but that sounds suspiciously like an excuse to me.
Change your word “impossible” to “more difficult” and you’ll probably be closer to the truth.
I can’t answer the second question, but on the first question, yes, your response rates would go up a little in Seattle / Portland, particularly if you’re good-looking, simply because black men are so rare here. For example, I went to high school here and out of 1300 students there were maybe 7 or 8 black guys, and all of them had hot white girlfriends. My son is also black and he does very well with white girls…but again he’s really good-looking. If you’re a fat or ugly black guy I really couldn’t say how well you’d do.
Don’t get me wrong; I didn’t say it would be easy, but it might be easier.
Shadix
Posted at 02:05 pm, 21st December 2014Have you noticed any trends in terms of Latinas and black women when it comes to dating older men?
I’m surprised about the women from conservative areas being more likely to date older men. From what I’ve seen, conservative “family values” type people are more closed minded about the whole age thing and very supportive of the traditional “marry your high school sweetheart” lifestyle.
le petit princess
Posted at 04:04 pm, 21st December 2014I live in central Sydney Australia. Happy to be your guide when you visit our horny lol island.
le petit princess
Posted at 04:06 pm, 21st December 2014I live in central Sydney Australia. Happy to be your guide when you visit our horny lol island!! Would love to meet you.
ObeyX
Posted at 05:33 pm, 21st December 2014Fantastic, Now Im gonna visit portland and seattle, and pick which will be the best option to move too.
I date strictly white girls, I have no attraction to black women, so now black population is completely cool with me.
Thankfully my looks dont hurt me but I definitely look average or above average to some women.
AKA
Posted at 05:53 pm, 21st December 2014#4. Scrap your photos and profile and start all over.
Oh my lord. Writing even one of these profiles is like torture. RE-WRITING IT???. Well that would make even marriage look good.
apimpnamedslickback
Posted at 06:19 pm, 21st December 2014So what would you say the best cities are overall, BD? (US, and/or internationally.)
Caleb Jones
Posted at 06:38 pm, 21st December 2014Not really. Older-man-younger-woman game is pretty much the same regardless of the race of the woman.
Too general a question. To answer very generally, the ideal online dating cities have these traits:
– Over 1 million people in population.
– Not a lot of fun things to do. You’ll get way higher response rates in more boring cities (like Kansas City) than you will in fun cities with lots of outdoor and indoor sights and activities (like San Francisco).
– Not too left-wing. The more left-liberal the women are, the more ASD and demands you’ll run into. (Technically a city shouldn’t be too right-wing either, but I can’t think of a “too right-wing city” in the Western world, since everything has moved to the left.)
– Decently attractive women.
– Decent man/woman ratio.
– Higher concentration of unmarried women under age 33. (College cities are pretty good.)
Shadix
Posted at 08:44 pm, 21st December 2014More liberal = more ASD? This whole thing is news to me. I have always been under the impression that more conservative women have more ASD since they were likely raised with Christian family values. It is true that there is this relatively new feminist “player hater” attitude that seems common among liberal women, but in my experience, this attitude is actually just as common in young conservative women. I have seen many religious conservative types who embrace these feminist ideas to supplement their religion induced ASD. I am not just talking American Christian conservative, but also Muslim, Indian and Asian women. They all jump on the feminist bandwagon to bash men who openly approach women.
Anyways, it would be bad news if liberal women were more troublesome, since most young women and most exotic minority women tend to be liberal. I have little interest in older white women or country girl types.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 11:24 pm, 21st December 2014I’m talking about extremes. Women in both extreme right-wing areas (and again, I can’t think of a major city that would fall into this category; it would be smaller towns) and extreme left-wing areas (many big cities on the west and east coasts) can be more problematic. It’s certainly not “the more left the better.” A little left is sexually liberated, a lot left is angry and jaded “strong women” who don’t want to “lose” by having sex with you.
That’s probably the sweet spot: slightly to the left.
Shadix
Posted at 12:51 am, 22nd December 2014Yeah I see what you’re saying, if we’re talking only about big cities then they are all kinda liberal-leaning.
However, I don’t think that far left necessarily means bitter jaded feminist. There are many extreme leftist hippie types who don’t have that anti-male attitude and are more sex-positive. And at the same time, there are many conservative women who incorporate those anti-male feminist views into their philosophy despite not actually being feminists. Unlike feminists, these women usually believe in traditional gender roles, but just want to make some adjustments to suit their preferences.
Shadix
Posted at 12:55 am, 22nd December 2014And also, there are probably some politically conservative women who reject traditional morality and as a result are more sexually liberated.
Le Petite Princess
Posted at 02:23 am, 22nd December 2014Do you guys know what a feminist is? Almost all women are feminists, that just means those of us that work want equal pay in the workplace but that doesn’t mean anything when it comes to dating.
I think you’re talking about Misandrysts (those are the very few who hate men) they are like Mysogynists (men who hate women – you know the guys who state MGTOW and want to harm us).
Most of us have never even met a misandryst. We’ve comforted that girlfriend who has sworn never to date a man again and become a lesbian only to find a guy she wants to marry one week later.
POB
Posted at 04:28 am, 22nd December 2014Also in big cities there are A LOT of women that come from small cities to study and/or work. Although they come from more traditional right-wing tight places, they tend to become more liberal when they are finally “free” so to speak.
Chris
Posted at 12:27 pm, 22nd December 2014Hey BD,
I realize that from the perspective of a businessman offering a 100% satisfaction guarantee, it’s better to recommend 300-400k+ cities, but there is still plenty of fun to be had in smaller cities.
In the 2 years after my LTR broke up 11 of 15 women were from online game (10 OKC, 1 POF – this was before Tinder), as well as 2 of 3 that I fooled around with but didn’t fuck for personal reasons. Yes, I did probably have to work harder than you and with less margin for error. I remember seeing some of the number examples in your books and just laughing, because there was no way I would have that many HB7+ women to open. Still, the books were more than worth it, and the supply of women tends to refresh every few months, so you’re good for another 100 opens.
Chris
P.S. I was in my mid-20s and living in CT for reference.
Billie
Posted at 02:43 pm, 22nd December 2014I wouldn’t call Chicago an “Eastern city” — we share little in common with Boston/ NYC/ Philadelphia in terms of cultural norms.
I’ve been to Australia. Very fun, but only ended picking up another American chick. I just don’t think Americans are considered particularly exotic there, nor is the accent admired on our end — I mean, you will definitely stand out when you talk, but eh.
I’d much rather be some place like China or Thailand where it is extremely easy to pull, and no, without opening your wallet for professional services.
Shadix
Posted at 04:14 pm, 22nd December 2014Le Petite Princess, perhaps that’s what feminism was about originally, but today, feminism is much more than just that. Most feminists have this underlying belief that women are always in danger of being exploited by men. They see the most innocent, harmless behaviors as a problem. Here are some examples:
-Most feminists think that young women who date older men are victims and that the men are exploiting them.
-Most feminists think that women who decide of their own free will to offer sex for money are victims and they the men who pay them for the services are exploiting them. Some Scandinavian governments have taken up this position and in those countries it is legal for women to be prostitutes, but illegal for men to visit them.
-Many feminists have a problem with men complimenting or approaching women they are attracted to. You’ve seen that cat calling video right? It wasn’t just the men making over the top sexual comments who were featured, even the ones just saying hello were getting bashed. These feminists basically think that no man should approach a woman based on physical attraction and that we should only pay attention to their personalities.
-Feminists even have a problem with men displaying images of sexy women! There was this scientist who was in a video about a research project he was working on and he happened to be wearing a shirt with images of scantily clad women on it. The feminists created an uproar and he ended up breaking down and apologizing on camera.
Yes, feminism is very much concerned with regulating the dating scene and it has become a misandristic ideology. That is why so many misandrists are attracted to femninism.
EZ
Posted at 06:02 am, 23rd December 2014I have been waiting for an article like this. I live in a very rural area, with less than 20,000 people in my entire county. The nearest metropolitan area, slightly over an hour away, is a very sprawling 600,000. I have noticed that individual communities, in my case the suburb that most strongly represents the yuppies and those who have become wealthy due to education are where most of the online profiles, and the most interesting online profiles are located. Unfortunately that represents another hour away from home…maybe I should find an apartment so “the big rancher can spend weekends taking in some culture.”
Online dating, actually online chat rooms worked like a charm for me, until Yahoo, in spite of all the frustrations we had with the service, decided to ditch them. I have found nothing to compare with what those local chat rooms were, has anyone else found something similar to the old yahoo chat rooms?
mardy
Posted at 11:41 am, 23rd December 2014” particularly if you’re good-looking,”
I’d have to agree. A barber once said to me that he has a hard time pulling white women. He didn’t know what to say to them or if he was perceived to be too ghetto. He asked me what do i say them and I told him, “I don’t really say gotta say much..”
He was stunned by that answer.
The truth is, middle class mid-late 20’s white women do have ghett-o-meter. It’s always in the back of their mind. And.. he was probably a little too ghetto. He also had a little weight on him weight.
I couldn’t say this to his face, but the fact is, I’m 6’4, have the skin complexion of Will Smith, the body shape and midsection of an abercrombie model (a little bigger actually) and I dont where timberland boots with baggy jeans – my cloths fit, compliment my figure, shoes always clean, I speak to them intelligently and calmly and I’m a great dancer. Many white women LOVE that shit, even if they don’t admit it.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 05:04 pm, 4th January 2015No, but in some areas (not all) Badoo is similar to the old MySpace, which use to be a great place for online game.
The problem is Badoo is highly location-dependent. Some places it’s great, some places it’s terrible.
Minister
Posted at 04:52 am, 2nd October 2015In my country, the Three Exchange Process is a total failure. Field tested in all dating sites thousands of times. I can remember of less than 10 times that it worked. Each and every girl wants to talk first, before she sees if she wants to hang out. Not to mention that in this interval a lot of them will ghost me or flake on me. I have tried getting her facebook after a short convo and pitching the meet within 3 exchanges there, but same results. My experience suggests that it is more ASD than worries about her safety. Anyway, I find it very annoying and boring having to talk for hours before she says ‘yes’. Any recommendations?
Caleb Jones
Posted at 09:11 am, 2nd October 2015Are these women over 33?
Don’t spend hours. That’s crazy. If this is truly a problem “in your country” (which I seriously doubt; it’s more likely something you’re doing wrong), then spend 20 minutes having a fun text, Skype, Facebook, whatever conversation, then pitch. When I meet up with much younger women, this kind of thing is usually required, so it’s no big deal.
Minister
Posted at 12:06 am, 3rd October 2015No, all ages, without exception.
I mean hours, if we sum up ALL conversation time, including the dating site and 2-3 convos from Facebook before the meet.
I just put a funny, non needy vibe, but I am not the one to judge my game. There are the responses I get, if I pitch the meet within 20 minutes from the dating site:
-I don’t go out so quickly.
-It is too soon.
-You are too hasty.
-Let’s talk to get to know each other, first.
If I say that we can get to know each other in real life, it doesn’t work. So, it leaves me no option, but getting their facebook. There I apply TPE and guess what. Same results. Everyone wants to talk for a few days, first. I speculate that a reason for this is that they talk to a lot of guys to date the one who ‘wins’.
You mean spending 20 minutes at the dating site to get their contact info and then another 20 minutes from Skype/Facebook/whatever?
Caleb Jones
Posted at 11:31 am, 3rd October 2015Yeah that’s way too much. If you take that much time, it actually spikes their need for comfort-pre-date even higher. I would have one brief convo over the site and a second brief convo over FB (or similar) and then cut it of if they’re STILL resisting.
Yeah, if the women saying this are over age 23, they’re not interested and you need to next these women fast. If they’re under 23 spending a little more time is okay.
Your problem is you’re spending time on women who will NEVER agree to go out with you no matter what.
Somewhat, yeah. Again though, I would not do any of this if they’re over 23 AND they gave you one of the excuses you listed above.
ALL of those excuses above are woman language for “I’m never going to meet up with you; I just want attention” or “I’m a hardcore provider hunter; please audition for me so I can choose you as my next husband.”
Minister
Posted at 12:46 pm, 3rd October 2015The thing is that such responses will be the case 90% of the time (I am not counting women that stop responding before the point of pitching or their age). The other 10% may say ‘yes’, but usually they will have a tough schedule and we will have to talk again and again, before we finally nail it. Providing that 90% is uninterested, I don’t think I have such an ugly profile. I have taken professional pics and have written a decent profile text. What ‘s next, is to track down what percentage is above 23 and below.
Minister
Posted at 03:59 am, 26th January 2016BD, you had said that have a pretty low response rate, about 8%. What percentage of them does comply to the pitch and how many of them do they actually end up meeting?
Caleb Jones
Posted at 11:39 am, 26th January 2016It varies, but I usually meet 3-7 women per blitz, sometimes more. I usually have sex with 1-4 new women per blitz, even when my response rates are less than 8%.
Minister
Posted at 01:19 pm, 26th January 2016Can you estimate the percentage? The number of openers per blitz varies, so this doesn’t tell much.
In badoo I have a 15% response rate, which is quite high. 1 out of 6 will give me their facebook, that is to say 2% close-to-openers ratio. And roughly 1 out of 6 facebooks will convert to a date.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 04:58 pm, 26th January 2016Every blitz is different so not without a detailed analysis of my spreadsheets, no.
You’re doing it wrong. Stop asking for Facebooks and start pitching dates instead. Once a date is scheduled, then offer your contact information and see if she reciprocates.
Minister
Posted at 12:53 am, 27th January 2016I have tried it and had a ZERO conversion ratio. To be fair, I remember 2-3 that complied out of THOUSANDS of openers. Note that I have professional pics and a pretty decent profile text. So, I had to adjust my game to my location, just like the article states.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 10:15 am, 27th January 2016Then it’s confirmed: Your country is very weird when it comes to online dating. A 0% date pitch rate out of thousands of openers is extremely unusual.
I think I would chuck online game and go to daygame or something else. (Or move.)
Rogerio
Posted at 10:39 am, 6th October 2016I am loving the conversation in these comments.
From my experience growing up out west, black guys definitely have the exotic advantage there. Almost every black guy I’ve known that has lived in Arizona, Colorado, and Nevada has had an easy time getting hot white girls. The girls I met from those states were also very open to going for black guys, even if the guy wasn’t all that good looking. On the other hand, it seemed like any kind of brown is seen as low value by them because of there being so many Mexican immigrants out west.
When I was in Colorado, I almost never saw or met a Mexican guy dating a hot white girl, despite there being plenty of Mexicans and white people there. People in the wealthier areas there also hated Mexicans and quite a few were open about their dislike. I remember that one day I heard this hot blonde literally say “ewww he’s Mexican” about one guy I knew and it kinda broke me that day because I actually have a thing for those kinds of girls and get told I look Mexican a good bit (I am not!).
I saw way more black guys with hot white girls as opposed to Mexican guys despite there being way more Mexicans in the state. I would guess it is like that in Oregon and Washington too.
BD, in what cities from your experience would you say you have seen guys with “exotic” looks (every race not black or white so that means latinos that do not look white, asian, middle eastern, etc.) do particularly well with local white girls?
I know you’ve talked about Asian and Indian guys you’ve known that have gotten laid like rockstars and you’ve said Hispanics seem to have it easy (from my experience that’s only true if they look white), but are there any areas of the USA that you would recommend for more foreign looking guys that are into white girls?
I get told I look like Adam Rodriguez and have been mistaken for pretty much all of the brown races (Mexican, Indian, and Arab).
Caleb Jones
Posted at 09:10 pm, 6th October 2016None come to mind, but I agree with your overall point. I went to a high school that was 99.9% white, but the few black guys in that school absolutely cleaned up with the hot white girls. They got the hottest ones in the school without even trying.
Being the exotic guy definitely works.
Blake
Posted at 09:15 pm, 29th May 2017In Portland I used to have tons of luck on OKC but now I stick to Tinder. It’s extremely convenient for travel adventures and hookups
Yonatan
Posted at 09:57 pm, 4th February 2018If you are short (5,9) and bald wouldn’t online dating be pretty much worthless in most cities? I figure day game would be my only option, as I look better in real life than when people look at my specs on a dating profile and take a quick peep at the bald head. Also, I can wear my boots (or lifts if I choose) that make me look more like 5,10 or 5,11. With my larger build it gives off the effect that I am bigger (and not as fat) as people would think looking at my height and weight on a profile.
I’m just thinking that online dating is great for people with a nice set of hair and who are over 6 feet, since most women put this in their superficial requirement list on their dating profiles. Online you are just a bunch of numbers and a snapshot, whereas in real life you are a living, breathing human and your personality has some effect. I have a decent looking face I am told, but being short and bald in the Pacific Northwest, where every guy is usually over 6,2 makes the online dating thing tough. I’m a broader build person (170lbs is my skinny weight), so I look larger in real life than what people would think on an online dating profile. Even though most guys tower over me here in the Puget Sound, most of them are skinny and poorly built. I’d say some of these guys who look like charming studs online look weak and pathetic in real life. That isn’t too say there isn’t a fair share of Paul Bunyans here and many of them are pretty decent looking and probably just have to sneeze to get laid.
I am recovering from nerve damage in my neck and have been given green light by my Physical Therapist to start weightlifting again. Maybe if I can get lean and mean like in my younger years and can sport a nice six-pack photo, online dating would be a better prospect for a short, baldy like me. People tell me I have a nice bald head and I even use to shave my head back in the day. However, whenever I get more money (still struggling financially) I will look into getting the type of hair implants that Black Dragon has used. Black Dragon, you have really inspired me that I can actually have some type of hair again 😀
Back when I was younger, I was a bodybuilder, at 5,9, I was 185lbs , six-pack, ripped, 32 waist , had a full set of wavy brown hair (which I did shave) and on quite a few occasions I had women come up and grab my ass, rub my chest, etc and be flirting with me like crazy. However, this was back in the mid to late 90s of Portland. I am not sure if today, with all the crazy brainwashing and anti-sex attitudes that even with the same body/younger age/hair I would receive such a reception.
Anyway, I am getting ready to leave the South Puget Sound and move to the East Coast or another location with more life going on. I grew up in the Pacific Northwest and need a change. There is a lot of attractive white women in Seattle and Portland, but I agree with Black Dragon that they are way too left-wing and treat their vaginas like they are sculpted out of pure gold and stuffed full of precious gems. In fact, the women are grungy, dress like slobs, cold, unfriendly, have cold and lame personalities and their uber-left wing politics and feminist ideals are annoying as crap.
To make things worse I live in the South Sound near Olympia now and every girl is a mommy by 25 years old and everyone is in some type of broken, screwed up relationship. Few days ago my white trashy neighbors called the cops on her black ex-boyfriend (father of her son) to have him removed from their house. Tacoma is a much more fun town and has friendly people, but the place seems to be lacking single women. Most women there seem to also jump real quick into marriage, have drug and drinking problems and are a bit shy and reserved. Seattle is just becoming a fascist, ultra-leftist shitshow and the cost of living is starting to rival Hong Kong. I’m also getting tired of the weather.
I am looking at Raleigh, North Carolina area , which may seem to fit all the criteria Black Dragon has mentioned in his article. It is a city with a large group of universities, gender ratio greatly favors men, warmer climate, it is not too conservative and not too liberal, somewhat slightly left-leaning. Being in the software industry, it is also a huge IT hub and has other benefits. Yet, despite, being an IT hub, being an Eastern seaboard city, it is not plagued by the massive gender imbalance you have in Western cities like Seattle, Denver, Austin, etc.