17 Mar Who Killed Chivalry? Hint: Not Men
-By Caleb Jones
Usually it’s women who whine about how Chivalry Is Dead™. It’s a topic I hear about often. Today we’ll look at a depressing article where a man is complaining about it. Ah, betas. I’ll just dive right in and explain why the concept of chivalry (in a dating context) is no longer a valid practice for men in the 21st century.
In the hookup culture we now live in,
There is no hookup culture, as I already proved here. Despite in increase in sexual imagery, people have very little actual sex these days.
It’s pretty obvious that chivalry is completely dead.
About 90% dead, yes. It started when women started divorcing men in large numbers.
Men didn’t kill chivalry. Women did.
Maybe my parents were old fashioned, maybe growing up in a tight knit Italian family resulted in different values.
I too grew up a tight knit Italian family, but you don’t see me whining about chivalry.
But I was always preached the value of chivalry and etiquette from the women in my life.
As I’ve discussed in my books, chivalry made perfect sense way back when the divorce rate was under 8%. But now when real divorce rates are almost 70%, and 80% of the time it’s the woman divorcing the man, there is no point in kissing a woman’s ass like this during the dating phase. Being chivalrous no longer pays off like it used to.
From my grandmother to my mother, you better believe I learned my lessons, either verbally or via the wooden spoon.
Beta.
Why are you not talking about what your dad taught you?
Or were you raised by a single mother? (That would explain a lot.)
But why now does it seem like it’s completely impossible for men to do what I would consider the ‘normal’ thing?
See above about women divorcing men in mass numbers.
Dating is done. Seriously, who goes on dates anymore?
I do. All the time. I just don’t buy a fancy dinner for a woman I’ve never had sex with. That would be stupid.
It’s all about hooking up, getting a number, grabbing a drink and getting down.
Exactly. After you have sex twice, then you can focus on building a relationship. Sex first, connection and relationship second.
If you try to build a relationship before any sex, you’ll end up going on dinner date after dinner date with tons of women and getting nowhere with any of them. Refer to my article on Women’s Three Buttons for exactly how this works.
I think I’m the only single guy who knows what actually takes a girl out to a restaurant on a first date. There’s a reason for this.
Yes, it’s because either you’re a either beta or you’re the male version of a provider hunter.
If you take a girl out and show her you’re more than some douche looking to just get in her pants, odds are, you’re going to get a second date, at least.
Correct. Women love attention, free food, and free alcohol, so you will likely get a second date so they can get more free stuff from you. Perhaps a third or fourth one too. But you won’t get laid. She’ll dump your ass and go have sex with an Alpha like me before you get to date five or so.
Or worse, you’ll “succeed” and she’ll rope you into a restrictive, woman-centric monogamous relationship where you’ll be her little bitch, because that’s the mono-beta EFA you gave her from date one.
Call me old fashioned, but a nice dinner is worth the money to get to know someone to some extent.
You can get to know a woman without spending $85+ on dinner and drinks. I do it all the time.
For me, it’s not about the money,
Clearly. Instead it’s about being a submissive beta to some future Unicorn Woman you’re pedestalizing.
And I get why people are stingy when it comes to going out with people they don’t know. Look, I get it. Sh*t costs money. But really, what’s the difference? Treat yourself to a good meal, and if the company is good, why the hell wouldn’t you take a girl out to a nice dinner?
Because it reduces the odds of both A) you getting laid and B) you and her entering into a win-win relationship for both of you.
Once you’re having sex with her regularly, then take her out to dinner all you like.
All I know is, the more I look around, the less I see men treating women the way that we’re raised to.
Because the way you were raised reflects the world of 50 or 60 years ago, not the world of today. You need to update your software. Badly.
What happened to paying for dinners and drinks?
Nothing happened to it. Betas like you do it all the time. Women on Match.com are getting free dinners in droves from men like you.
What happened to pulling out chairs and holding doors?
I always hold doors for women, but that’s probably because I’m an old man in his 40s. Pulling out chairs, no, unless it’s a high-end MLTR or OLTR and we’re going on some kind of big date that’s celebrating something.
What happened to walking on the outside, closest to the street and all that sh*t?
I do that. I’m a gentleman. A gentleman who has sex on the second date by spending less than $20.
Where did we lose the chivalrous touch?
Around the early 90s when the divorce rates (and remember that’s women leaving men) really started to take off.
When did it become acceptable to just text a girl, inviting her to come bang?
Most girls under age 33 love that.
If it didn’t work, we Alphas wouldn’t do it. Women are free to start closing their legs at any time. Do you see women doing so?
I rest my case.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining about those instances,
Yes you are. That’s your entire article.
I’m just saying, why have we strayed away from what has been established as the norm?
If you’re talking about the norm from 40 years ago, yeah. Prior to the 1990s, lifetime employment was the norm. Lifetime marriage was the norm. Not owning a computer was the norm.
But norms change, dude. You and I don’t have to like or agree with the change, but we do have to acknowledge it and update our behaviors to reflect the new norm. Or else you’ll be confused, pissed off, and/or frustrated (like you).
I think, in an ever-changing landscape of communication between 140 character tweets, LOLs and ROTFLs, we’ve lost our ability to communicate, altogether.
You are correct. I’m not a fan of this either, but again, this is the way society has changed. Accept it and be happy or be angry about it for the rest of your life.
I chose happiness, so I stopped caring. Women can now ROTFL all they like and it literally doesn’t affect my happiness in any way. Soon she’ll be naked and bent over my couch screaming my name, so I don’t really care what she texts.
You go to a noisy bar and expect to get to know someone new, when all you really wind up with is uninteresting small talk.
Correct. That’s why I don’t go to noisy bars. See how easy happiness is?
We don’t take the time to get to really know people anymore and that’s why you see relationships and marriages failing at a 50 percent clip.
Oh, it’s much worse than 50 percent, as I’ve shown many times. But I realize that’s the number propagated by false Societal Programming, so I’ll let that one slide.
I think most normal people would be terrified to learn that the real lifetime divorce rate among people who actually get married these days is well north of 70% and continuing to worsen, so they keep clinging to this outdated “50%” figure.
Ultimately, push is going to come to shove here, and I figured it would have happened by now, but for some reason, it has not.
Over time, less people are going to get legally married, that’s all. They’ll still co-habit and have kids, so don’t worry. That’s biological and can’t be stopped. But yes, the legal mechanism called “marriage” which has been utterly broken for decades is going to eventually have to be replaced or updated (I vote for updated). People clearly don’t want the old model any more (even though they still pretend to).
The real problem here is that women, for one reason or another, have become complacent and allowed men to get away with adhering to the bare minimum.
That’s because women desired freedom from the slavery of men, i.e. marriage. They wanted to do whatever they wanted to do, and have sex with whomever they wanted, just like men have been able to.
If you’re a right-winger who is stuck in the past, that probably pisses you off. If you’re a guy who loves women, loves freedom, and loves sex, you’re probably very happy about this. I know I am. I would hate to live in the 1950s and so would most other modern-day men.
We no longer have to put in the effort of flowers, chocolates, dates, etc., and if we do, we come off as stage-five clingers.
Because that’s exactly what you are.
I’m not looking for a girlfriend, nor am I looking for a wife.
Oh bullllllllllllshit. That is exactly what you’re looking for (or at least fantasizing about) or else this stuff wouldn’t bother you as much as it does.
If I take you out to a nice dinner, it’s because I’m a nice guy,
Oh, you poor fucking beta.
How often do you actually get laid from new women? I think I know.
And I am looking forward to spending time with you somewhere other than the bedroom.
You can do that without spending a pile of money on a fancy dinner, you beta! I do that all the time.
Eventually, I feel that women will wise up and start asking for the things that they deserve,
Uh, hold up. Women deserve hours of attention and free money and free food from men they know they’re never going to have sex with? Oh really?
What the hell do men deserve then? Anything? Or are we just a big, fat walking wallet to service women’s financial whims?
The things used to be automatic and expected of men, like holding a door, pulling out a chair, and paying for dinners.
When women stop dumping men and divorcing men, I promise that men will become more chivalrous again. The ball is in women’s court.
Until then, men are going to get away with putting in the bare minimum and receiving what we ultimately want anyway – sex.
Oh, that sounds terrible! The horror!
How dare people have sex!
It’s pretty obvious that women own the cards, and when they start acting like it, they’ll finally start getting dinner from places that don’t deliver.
Women over 33 already do this, and all it accomplishes is screening for submissive betas whom these women can later divorce when they get bored with them.
If you want to marry a Dominant woman who will boss you around and then divorce you a few years later, then by all means, keep buying all these women fancy dinners on the first date.
I’ll be over here being happy.
(A note to all of you movement guys. This man is not only the norm, but he’s the future. Get used to many more men thinking and acting like his. The Era of the Beta has begun, a long time ago. All hail President Hillary!)
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Yoda
Posted at 05:44 am, 17th March 2016Hm what do you mean by Era of Betas? Do you imply that betas get laid more nowadays? Regardless, I am fascinated at how many women of all ages that I have dated have nexted me because I was not the submissive male who wouldn’t make a move but wait and go on tons of dates. It is seriously, as if ‘beta’ is the acceptable thing now.
I am still expecting your new article on why modern women have so much ASD.
Vitriol
Posted at 05:57 am, 17th March 2016“I’m not looking for a girlfriend, nor am I looking for a wife.”
You already called him out on this, but he’s obviously lying as are most guys who think like this. A guy who genuinely wants women only for his sexual needs and wants to keep his interactions with them very casual can easily figure out that he doesn’t need things like chivalry, dating, monogamy or marriage in today’s world. If he was being honest about this, he would find some kind of low investment way to get women like Tinder or hanging around with whores.
“You go to a noisy bar and expect to get to know someone new, when all you really wind up with is uninteresting small talk.”
He’s right about this, but it bothers him for the wrong reason. It’s well known by now around most of the PUA sites that nightlife in most major U.S. cities is pretty much all men except for the occasional girl’s night out where they stand in a circle and pound away on their phones rather that talk to strange men. This is no longer an efficient way to get laid or meet new women. If you’re going out to meet girls or get laid, hitting up a bar doesn’t really work very well anymore and you’re going home with your dick in your hands a majority of nights.
“We no longer have to put in the effort of flowers, chocolates, dates, etc., and if we do, we come off as stage-five clingers.”
If you’re a man and you actually care about doing stuff like this more than sex with a woman, you either have a very low sex drive or the social conditioning you’ve received has totally destroyed your instincts. Men only utilized those things in the past as a tool to get sex. It’s like insisting on using a pager or dial-up internet in 2016.
BorjaTSR
Posted at 07:20 am, 17th March 2016What a dissection – that’s a win by K.O in my book.
Call me amoral but I’m kinda excited that most men in the future will become like him – for they’ll definitely be the kind of men who refuse help from people like you or me.
More for us to be shared and enjoyed.
CrabRangoon
Posted at 07:56 am, 17th March 2016Christ man who wrote that article? The Pajama boy from those Obamacare ads? He needs a heavy dose of the medicine on blogs like these. However I feel he’s in too deep and so invested in this beta mentality, he doesn’t want to be woken up.
Anon.
Posted at 08:54 am, 17th March 2016I think the reasons for rise and fall of chivalry are simpler.
In ancient times, women needed men for survival, and men desired “pure” women. So women suppressed their own desires, displayed purity and demanded chivalry in order to get high-quality men.
Now, women are independent, and the degree of slut shaming is much lower. So women can satisfy their desires all they want (note that sex is much better these days, particularly from women’s side), and they only demand chivalry when it’s in line with what they desire from a particular man.
So it’s men, after all.
Marsupial
Posted at 10:06 am, 17th March 2016Exactly. The mechanism by which divorce has destroyed chivalry is that chivalry was passed down from father to son, by sons modelling the behaviours of their fathers. You can’t actually beat it into a boy with a wooden spoon, exceptions notwithstanding. Same applies to having a work ethic, and generally being a responsible adult. These things have mostly disappeared, mainly because single mothers cannot inculcate these types of virtues into children.
Since when did you actually get to know another human being over a couple hours in a restaurant when you are both dressed up and on your best behavior?
If this dude wants to pay for a nice dinner with an agreeable companion, then by all means he should hire an escort for the evening.
maldek
Posted at 10:08 am, 17th March 2016This guy is full of shit. But well hidden there is a point. A valid point.
“But norms change, dude. You and I don’t have to like or agree with the change, but we do have to acknowledge it and update our behaviors to reflect the new norm.”
If you dont like the changes in the world around you. It leaves you with 3 choices.
a) You can love the changes and “update our behaviors to reflect the new norm.” The easy way. You go with the flow.
b) You can fight the changes. Mans rights movements, like Roosh who started to see things a little more clearly and decided to fight. The hardest way: “you’ll be confused, pissed off, and/or frustrated” > nails it.
c) You can leave it. Walk your behind to areas in the world where the local society is close to your old-school norms. If a) is not an option this is the way to go if high quality of life is your goal.
So in the end, both in work/finance/taxes/big goverment AND social area like wife/husband/children/ the 100 year old book “atlas shrugged” is getting more real every fucking single day. Scary shit if you think about it.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 11:08 am, 17th March 2016Beta males are now the societal norm. It’s what is common and expected. Alphas are “offensive” to our new feminized society.
And I’m still expecting you to go through the archives and do your own research instead of waiting for me to spoon-feed you information.
Correct. Based on what PUAs are saying, night game is dying fast. All the women are going online where I am. 🙂 (Though online game is harder these days too.)
I agree! If men want to be pussies (betas) or pissed off all the time (Alpha 1.0s) then fine. More for me. 🙂
You’ve just described most men. It all goes back to that 10% thing.
Correct. Single mothers cannot be good parents, because being a good parent requires a man and a woman, 50/50. A single mom can be the greatest mom in the world, but if there’s no dad around, that son of hers is going to grow up dysfunctional regardless.
Great point!
You forgot choice d)
d) Build a life of independence and awesomeness despite all the new problems in society. Upside: constant happiness and freedom. Downside: little societal acceptance.
eddie
Posted at 11:39 am, 17th March 2016What a timely article…I just saw Neil Strauss on TV last night promoting his new book, The Truth.
All I can say, is WOW, WTF!!! and I’ll just leave it there (don’t want to offend his worshipers).
Wil
Posted at 11:42 am, 17th March 2016If this guy would be the norm in the future, that would mean that women (and people) would have less sex.
But women love sex, yet they actively discourage men to become alphas even though they’d love to get with one. This seems really counterproductive. So women love free stuff more than they love sex?
Replicant
Posted at 12:58 pm, 17th March 2016@Wil
Not so few women do that. They’re called “provider hunters”. They’ll still give you some (boring and vanilla) action time to time and a BJ on your birthday (yay!) but God bless you if you don’t take her to the next big trendy place on vacations this year.
This year I went on vacations alone. Best trip ever in my life.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 02:24 pm, 17th March 2016Yeah, I’m reading that book now. It’s painful. I’ll be posting about it soon.
Correct. There are more beta males now, and less people are now having sex, as I’ve documented several times on this blog.
Men being more beta is a bad deal for everyone. And it’s getting worse. Enjoy the decline!
You’re expecting women to behave rationally. They don’t.
amber
Posted at 02:31 pm, 17th March 2016@KryptoKate, Lovergirl, etc…
I’ve now tried posting comments on GWG several times over the last several weeks and they NEVER show up. I wasn’t cursing. I don’t have WordPress user name.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 02:59 pm, 17th March 2016Go back and look. They’re there. GWG has had a bizarre comment filtering problem that no one seems to be able to fix. I’ve had three different web guys look at it and none of them have been able to resolve it. So at the moment, every 1-3 days I go in there and manually accept the comments it filters on accident. We haven’t lost any comments so far; there’s just a delay.
joelsuf
Posted at 04:00 pm, 17th March 2016In these days, where boys have no idea of how to please a woman, a chick would rather take the free stuff than have some fuckboy, fatass n***a, or autistic gamerfag (aka omega males who were never designed to have sex in the first place)attempt to jam his 4” tic tac dick inside her. Let’s face it, if the roles were reversed, and I got more pleasure from pornography than the chick I was with but she gave me stuff without asking, I would also like the free stuff more than sex. The sex would be a chore.
This is why we have so many rape accusations nowadays, cuz chicks are tired of really bad sex. And they want power, like we all do. Accusing weirdos of rape gives them power. Don’t want to be accused of rape? Don’t be a weirdo!
joelsuf
Posted at 04:11 pm, 17th March 2016Feel free to accuse me of stirring the pot, but how is this even possible with big brother attempting to monitor your every move? Live off the grid? I guess I’m attempting to do that now, the only debt I have is from college and I don’t really care about giving them money since I don’t have any personal debt thank god. I feel bad for those suckers who thought it was cool to take out a mortgage for a condo that will take them 30 years to pay for at 25 lol. I already have a car, and there are very few things to my name that big brother can track. I would say it would be better to rise up and begin another bloody revolution or even a coup, but I’ll admit that its only a fantasy of mine and I don’t have the stones to physically fight our oppressors.
Duke
Posted at 04:31 pm, 17th March 2016Free stuff in addition to attention and validation. Can’t say I blame them, it seems like a pretty good deal; until they get bored that is.
amber
Posted at 05:06 pm, 17th March 2016Yep, thank you.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 05:36 pm, 17th March 2016I do it. I live my perfect life. It takes a few years and it requires some real work, but the actual process is pretty simple.
Start with these two posts:
https://alphamale20.com/2015/03/12/what-being-independent-really-means-part-1/
https://alphamale20.com/2015/03/19/what-being-independent-really-means-part-2/
And by my book.
Kryptokate
Posted at 05:53 pm, 17th March 2016First of all, I don’t understand how such a truly moronic article even gets published, even on a generally moronic site like Elite Daily.
Second, the only reason he yearns for “chivalry” is because it’s a fuck of a lot easier to simply pay for dinner and flowers and follow a few inane but simple rules like pulling out a chair, then it is to compete with other men on the things that matter: being hot, being fascinating, being funny, being exciting, being interesting, being good in bed, being sexy. The latter is actually really hard. The former is easy as fuck. That’s why he wants it.
It’s kind of like a girl yearning for the good old days when being the biggest prudish virgin was valued. Because it’s way easier to compete by being (or pretending to be) the biggest uptight frigid good girl than it is to actually compete with other girls on being hot, sexy, and interesting and fun to be around.
People who prefer the old rules are people who don’t want to have to compete on the actual factors that matter. This Italian momma’s boy is not an intelligent man, so no wonder. He’s just mad other men are outcompeting him. I’m sure it is wayyyyy easier for him to pay $50 for dinner and bring flowers than it is for him to wow a girl with his wit or in bed. Plus added bonus, he gets to pretend he’s not buying sex because he’s paying in symbols rather than cash.
Alejo
Posted at 09:21 pm, 17th March 2016When girls are chivalrous they melt my heart.
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 05:07 am, 18th March 2016Most women have a dual reproductive strategy – sleep with the alpha, enslave the beta (alpha fucks, beta bucks). They want alphas to be alphas so they can get sex. But they want betas to be betas so they can have male servants in their phone memory who will agree to get up at 3 am and drive their alpha boyfriends to their house from jail in exchange for a kiss on the cheek. If betas become alphas, women will lose their own status as slave-masters, and they don’t want to give up their chivalrous perks.
So they try their best to prevent betas from learning the truth and continue spewing nonsense about how women “love the nice guy” and “hate the jerk,” because the last thing women want is for the beta workers to drop their tools, put their money back in their pockets, and become alphas. After all, a girl must pay her rent.
If a woman is sleeping only with the alpha, but doesn’t have a beta in her life, she will try to betaize the alpha in order to fulfill that other half of her desires which can only be fulfilled at the expense of the first half (her sexual attraction towards the alpha), unless she finds a second man against whom to exercise that second half.
A second reason that women encourage beta behaviors is because they want to see who the real alphas are. They can’t just ask, because then the betas would lie to get sex. So she must send all the betas on a wild goose chase while the real men who actually get it don’t fall for it, thus confirming in her mind who the real alphas are.
A third reason is that she wants to know if the man can handle her. If he can’t even tame her bad attitude and insistence on his slavery, how will he protect the cave from invaders? Women betaize to strengthen the alpha. If the alpha becomes a beta, she will hate him for allowing her to do this to him, thus motivating her to treat him with even more severe disrespect. But she has to do it, because otherwise she wouldn’t have known the truth about what kind of man this really is, which is essential information for her sexual attraction!
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 05:24 am, 18th March 2016So there seems to be two schools of thought that alpha males disagree with each other about concerning whether this is good or bad:
1. This is great! More men are becoming betas? Yay! Good for me! That means I have less competition! Women will be more sexually frustrated, and therefore, easier for alpha males like myself to fuck! Yes! We need more betas. In fact, if I were the only alpha in the world, that would be great!
2. This sucks! More betas means women will get more and more spoiled, bitchy, self-entitled, and self-righteous. As the culture normalizes and increases women’s “magic pussy syndrome” and brainwashes more and more girls from childhood that they are Disney princesses worthy of a prince, they will start making more and more demands even from alphas, which will make our job navigating her sense of entitlement and delusions of royalty harder and harder.
I lean more towards #2. Chivalry is 90 percent dead and us alphas need to work on killing the remaining 10 percent. Unfortunately, as the betas become more and more numerous, the other 90 percent of chivalry will be resurrected under a feminist paradigm – chivalry as compensation for white guilt and reparations for “past male oppression of women,” or whatever, as distinguished from the old “women are weak” and “they should be compensated for their own slavery” conservative explanation.
This is why I’m a big fan of turning betas into alphas. As for my competition, meh, we can share women. It’s not like I’m monogamous or territorial in any way.
eddie
Posted at 06:15 am, 18th March 2016@ Jack Outside the Box
Not going to happen. The truth is, at least 80% of men are hard-wired, beta bitch boys. So no matter how much, the quote/unquote Game, these guys learn, they will revert back to their true essence, beta bitch boys. You disagree? Good, I thought you would, then how do you spin Neil Strauss, David DeAngelo, Roosh and others.
I’m always reading about how so many guys are so shocked and disappointed …but it’s like trying to turn a HO into a housewife…everything seems OK for the first few months, but eventually she’s going to default back to who she really is…and then the poor, loser gets online complaining how shocked he is that his wife is being a HO.
Were these PUA gurus just con men, taking advantage of the average frustrated chump, giving false hope to poor and lonely, desperate losers? I don’t know…but what I do know is…at the end of the day…”You are what you are.”
Clem
Posted at 06:30 am, 18th March 2016It seems irrational when you view it through a guy’s point of view, but I think there is some kind of logic to it. This is how I view it, maybe you’ll think it’s too far fetched lol
Guys know in a heartbeat is a girl is attractive or not : they just look at her appearance and they know.
But for girls it’s harder : they can meet a tall muscular good-looking guy and be initaly attracted, but then he acts like a submissive beta, and the attraction dies down. Therefore, they need to devise means to find out if you are attractive or not. That’s what shit tests are basically.
I view girls trying to feminize guys as one big shit test : if the guy goes along with how the girl wants him to act, then she knows he is actually beta and therefore not attractive. But if the guy laughs at her rules and doesn’t abide by them, then he is an alpha, and she is attracted. That’s the classical example of the girl asking a guy to buy her a drink. In guys logic : she wants a drink > I give her what she wants > Her attraction will increase because I fulfilled one of her needs. It makes sense logically, but try saying “NO” when she asks you that, and see her eyes light up lol
I don’t know, does that make sense?
Anon.
Posted at 06:59 am, 18th March 2016No, he’s likely an intelligent and rational man, but thing is, the “actual factors that matter” are nowhere near rational, that’s why he loses the competition.
And what’s worse (for him and the society in general), discussion of said factors is taboo. Is there a single website other than this blog, from which people like him can learn in depth about all kinds of relationships, various techniques, what works and what doesn’t, which would be systematic, substantiated by evidence and free from social prejudices?
Tvrdy
Posted at 02:00 pm, 18th March 2016The amount and intensity of white-knightery in the comments of that article is staggering. They even outperformed the author, which wasn’t an easy task.
The funny thing is that most of the responders trying to burst their bubble are women. Some guys are so f..ing pathetic it makes you cry.
Vitriol
Posted at 05:06 pm, 18th March 2016@eddie
“The truth is, at least 80% of men are hard-wired, beta bitch boys. So no matter how much, the quote/unquote Game, these guys learn, they will revert back to their true essence, beta bitch boys. You disagree? Good, I thought you would, then how do you spin Neil Strauss, David DeAngelo, Roosh and others.
Were these PUA gurus just con men, taking advantage of the average frustrated chump, giving false hope to poor and lonely, desperate losers? I don’t know…but what I do know is…at the end of the day…”You are what you are.”
It’s telling that most guys who get into the PUA thing are actually looking for some kind of monogamous LTR rather than wanting to bang lots of sluts (Blackdragon’s article about the manosphere went into this). Even most of the big names turned out to be guys who were actually trying to get wifed up.
It’s not that these guys are lying outright, but rather that their method of cold approaching tons of girls will never turn out to be an efficient means to get laid for most men. If a guy is willing to talk to 100 different girls and works on his conversation skills to be more entertaining and agreeable, a small percentage of those girls probably will end up having sex with them. However, this is really more for guys who “enjoy the chase” more than actual sex and they’re probably looking for attention and validation more than trying to pound through as many girls as possible, yet it’s sold as the ultimate solution for every man to get sex. From a practical standpoint, how many guys are going to be able to burn through hundreds of cold approaches every year to have sex with 10-20 different girls? (assuming they don’t want to settle down with one) How good of a return on investment is it to spend hours digesting material online and go through tons of approaches to occasionally spend a few minutes having sex? It’s like all along they had a hidden assumption that they were expecting these guys to settle down after going through a handful of girls because realistically you can’t possibly keep that up forever without going back to the same girls.
It’s also convenient that they mostly advocate night game in places like crowded bars and nightclubs where your closing average is guaranteed to be low, so you’re going to need to “tighten up your game” by buying more of their books, watching more of their youtube videos, etc. If you don’t care about utilizing those methods to get laid and constantly trying to improve on their terms, you’re shamed as some bitter MGTOW virgin who must only watch porn all the time and never go out. Yet somehow, the overwhelming majority of men (many of them either have wives, girlfriends, or at least get laid occasionally) have gotten women at some point in their life without all of that bullshit. “They were just DHV-ing the whole time without knowing it bro!” Yeah sure, if you believe that rationalization I’ve got some books and seminars to sell you.
POB
Posted at 09:09 am, 21st March 2016@Jack
I blame this on men, not women. Every man knows that constant sex and variety will make his life happy (even betas). The only difference is between the ones who are too scared to grind their teeth and go after it, and the ones who just shrug it off and do whatever it takes to make them happy.
Kryptokate nailed it once again. It’s hard to be successful, sexy, good in bed and someone everybody of the opposite sex wants to gravitate towards. Takes years of preparation and constant improvement. Much easier to compromise to what “society” expects and live a mediocre life.
Anon.
Posted at 09:21 am, 21st March 2016I wouldn’t say it is that hard. But rather, no one is taught how to do it, for which we have to blame both men’s ineptitude and women’s ASD.
POB
Posted at 01:57 pm, 21st March 2016No, it isn’t. Lots of work? Yes. And that’s the worst part. But once you reach a certain point it becomes easier.
johnnybegood
Posted at 01:35 pm, 22nd March 2016I’m chivalrous. When a woman I’m with is tipsy and stumbles into oncoming traffic, I yank her back in to the sidewalk. I’m a gentleman like that.
Anyway if the age of the Beta is approaching, good, that means less competition, I hope. But I’m not sure it’s that straightforward. Many women (esp. America x1000) have certain ‘buzzwords’ or phrases that set them off on sexism rants. For instance, using the word bitch, in any context (in France the women use it all the time). Even if you are not sexist, or don’t care about the situation, defusing some of these women after they’ve been ‘set off’ is impossible. So, you do learn to avoid certain ‘landmines’ even if that may go against a general philosophy of saying what you want and making no apologies for it. You start to comply.
Anyway, about nightgame waning … hmm, I’m not so sure. I still see hot women everywhere in the major cities. Though competition is much lower at the gay bars (with straight women) where I typically hunt. The gay bars are too “weird” for pussified Beta males and Alpha 1.0 “Bros” alike, so they’ll stay out for a while. That’s when I swoop into the “girls night” parties where a girl suddenly DOES want sexual attention and a cock that night.
That, or move to Europe or Asia. Seriously, many of their “regressive left” policies are far worse than America, such as a red carpet for ISIS immigrants and refugees (and the recent tragedy) — but in terms of sexual repression and certain elements of political correctness, it is far more open.
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 03:34 pm, 22nd March 2016I used to be a major beta, especially in college. Thanks to the red pill and game, I don’t even recognize myself from back then.
I don’t know about 80%. While it may be true that 80% are betas, I am sure that a much smaller percentage are betas because they are hard wired for it. The rest are betas because of cultural programming. Societal brainwashing can be undone, like it was in my case.
I disagree.
Neil Strauss is an omega male/con artist. He was never interested in PUA, the seduction community, or the red pill. He just wanted to see how he could exploit it for money, usually by disparaging it. To call him a beta is an insult to betas. He is, and always was, an omega loser with no interest in changing.
A professional marketer with no real interest in the community or the alpha male lifestyle, except how it could make him money. He never gave the red pill a chance because he was never interested to begin with.
A traditional conservative and closet Muslim theocrat. To call him an omega would be an insult to omegas. There is no word for his level of loserhood. He was always a gameless tradcon and never intended on changing. He just wanted to take advantage of “hook up culture” to lazily get his dick wet, and then when he discovered that it’s actually work, he started ranting against “the sluts,” going to third world shitholes to find gold digging virgins, and talking about “god.” Pathetic. Roosh is the worst of the worst.
None of this proves your point. You get no credit for pointing out men who were obvious frauds from the beginning.
Yes, because monogamy doesn’t work, not even for “housewives” who get seduced by alphas all the time, while the beta husband thinks he married a perfect “good girl angel.” It’s true that very few men want to change, because they believe in society’s bullshit. They’re just led by their dicks and then default back, like you said, because they never cleared out the inner programming that made them betas in the first place, nor have they ever actually questioned society’s values.
Yes, they were!
You control what you are. Most people will never change because it’s too hard for them (about 80% of betas, like you said). But all I know is that I changed because I wanted to, so has BD (he was a beta), and so have others.
I do believe there are some people who are hard wired to be betas, but that’s a smaller number that 80%. Many of the 80% of betas are betas because of society’s horseshit. They can be deprogrammed, just like I and BD was, if they really want to. For most though, it’s too hard. But I’m still a big fan of trying.
eddie
Posted at 03:52 pm, 22nd March 2016@ Jack Outside the Box
Thanks for taking the time to respond. Well done!
But, you do know many guys, swear by those PUA gurus I listed and almost like a cult, they will attack you if you point out the hypocrisy.
That said… I really think guys like you and BD are the exceptions. You’re what, Malcolm Gladwell would call “Outliers.”
What’s my proof…. (the aforementioned PUA gurus) the average guy in society.
I’ll leave you with this…
“If you COULD, you WOULD…you AIN’T cuz you CAIN’T” again that’s street slang for, try as you may, but in the end, my friend…”You are, What you are.”
Thanks again for your insight.
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 06:35 pm, 22nd March 2016@Vitriol: It’s also telling that they see things as either/or. As BD said, they believe in either absolute monogamy or nothing but casual promiscuity. If they’d give up on monogamy, they would see that they can have serious poly girlfriends and have kids with them while “banging lots of sluts on the side” without lying to anyone or hiding anything, while your main girl does the same thing with other men and even has group sex with you as well.
Although if you have kids, obviously they are the top priority so your private time will be slashed, but the fact remains that you can have it all, as long as you stop seeing contradictions where their don’t have to be any.
Get a poly girlfriend, fall in love with her, make her the mother of your children, while you both enjoy your sex lives with each other and with other people (both together and separately).
The only thing left to learn then is time management and discretion (from the blue pillers).
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 07:06 pm, 22nd March 2016@POB: The men certainly aren’t blameless. I never meant to imply that betas aren’t accountable for their actions. But societal brainwashing plays a role in misleading these men.
Gold diggers absolutely lie to men that they like nice guys and that nice guys get laid all the time in order to keep these men enslaved with the promise of her pussy that will never come to pass. While I don’t let the men off the hook, I don’t let the women off either.
Also, many betas are sincerely convinced that the lifestyle you and I lead can be found only in porn movies. I have found that women have five stages of obfuscation when a beta tries to become an alpha:
Stage I: Um, you know all that shit is not real, right? You really need to get off the porn. This is a playboy fantasy that most men need to grow up from. Women like that don’t exist. If you want sex, you better treat me like a proper lady.
Note: Stage I is enough to brainwash 60 percent of betas. There is no need to go to Stage II.
Stage II: Okay, those women do exist. But they are trash! It’s the bottom of the barrel. You don’t want some disgusting STD-riddled slut, do you? That’s gross. You want a real woman like me. Those “loose” women are garbage. They’ll never take care of you like I will and they’re certainly not mother material. They’re the scum of society.
Note: Stage II is enough to brainwash 90 percent of betas. There is no need to move on to Stage III.
Stage III: Okay, okay, you’re right, some of my friends are like that and they are cool girls. I myself have been known to be adventurous from time to time. And if you can manage that when you’re young, good for you, but sooner or later, it’s time to grow up and start acting like a proper lady/gentleman. Now come on, let’s rise above the immaturity and be adults and never talk about this again.
Note: Stage III brainwashes 98 percent of betas. There is no need to move on to Stage IV.
Stage IV: Alright, listen asshole! I’m not a conformist like everyone else! I’m just not like that (anymore). I don’t bow to my girlfriends’ peer pressure. I’m a different and better breed of woman. All of society may be like this, but not me, take it or leave it (and please keep paying my student loans).
Note: So she went from saying that no one is like that outside porn to “everyone is like that” but she is a superior snowflake. This stage usually brainwashes no one and it’s on to Stage V.
Stage V: Fine! Leave me! Go out and bang all your disgusting sluts! I hope you can live with yourself! I don’t know why I wasted my time with you anyway! You’re not a real gentleman and don’t know how to treat a lady!
And the man starts experiencing freedom and happiness while she finds another beta loser who will pay her bills to play house with while she comes back to the now alpha man for great sex on the side in exchange for nothing but sex, as well as threesomes, some occasional group sex with him and her friends, and all the other stuff she said wasn’t real in Stage I!
POB
Posted at 07:37 am, 23rd March 2016@Jack
Agree.
Agree again, and that’s the whole point of this post. Apart from pure gold diggers, most women want “freedom” and “no strings or pressure to compromise” but at the same time they seek a “hot sex male god” who is also a “gentleman” and “treats them like a princess”. In other words they don’t know what they want. In the meantime BD, you, I and others will continue to try our best to have sex fast and cheap with them, because physical connection is the first thing that matters to us when we meet a new woman.
Flowers, dinners, long conversations, that’s all crap if you don’t have a solid relationship established. Pussy bribe is what I call it. Bribing a chick you don’t know so you can fuck her. Just lame. Offering her your masculinity (and big fat dick) and letting her decide is a way better deal in my opinion.
I just operate on this mindset: having sex fast is good for me and is good for them, even if they don’t realize it.
I’ve lost count of how much pressure I released of angry jaded women that were desperate to have a good lay. Young students, divorced mature MILFs, you name it! Once we hit the sack a couple of times they became completely different women, more happy and loose. Some even told me that, even after nexting my ass to be with beta boys LOL.
Recently I even “saved” a marriage (at least for a while LOL) by smacking some sense into a divorced hot 43 executive who was full of SP. Of course this was after some good months of crazy sexual activity with her.
This is why they fail.
Kryptokate
Posted at 02:45 pm, 23rd March 2016@ Jack LOL. Your five stages of obfuscation is hilarious. That should be its own stand-alone post somewhere. I’ve even used the first two myself, in a previous life (and somehow I believed myself at the time, though this now puzzles me). Solid gold stuff.
It’s not just women who peddle this though. Your parents, teachers, friends…they all make the same arguments. I’ve heard the pussy-whipped married guys I work with talking to each other several times about things like how “no women” do things like in porn. They all reassure and persuade each other of these things. I have tried arguing with them a few times about things like the fact that their wives don’t dislike sex they just don’t like it with the same person for 10 years, etc…they never believe anything I say, they always argue with me, and obviously I can’t go beyond the abstract or offer personal examples because at work these arguments have to be made strictly in the theoretical realm unless you’re on the side promoting the conventional monogamous story. But I have never convinced a single married guy (and only a few single guys) on any of this stuff, even though I think I’m quite persuasive. 😉 That’s how committed to their beliefs they are.
Jack, all I can say to you is….be careful. If you are truly doing the things you say you do, especially with married women, and the truth is ever exposed to all these poor deluded betas…they are going to burn you at the damn stake in the public square!! I mean it! Go back and re-read Brave New World and how the primitives react when a modern person in their midst doesn’t follow their sexual rules. Huxley had an amazing understand of human psychology that book was so ahead of its time. Just saying. Going against the grain and violating the herd’s sexual code of conduct is not just extremely difficult and exhausting…much easier to just give in…it’s also dangerous.
@ POB
Amen! 😉
Vitriol
Posted at 09:50 pm, 23rd March 2016@Kryptokate
This reminds me of the “marriage is for losers” broadcast Tom Leykis did a long time ago. The average person you run into on a day to day basis is like a lemming walking off the edge of a cliff who will have a marriage, kids, mortgage, car payment, credit card bills, etc. at some point in their 20s or 30s, then waste the next couple of decades working non-stop to pay for all of this bullshit with no free time to ask themselves what the hell they’re doing. If that isn’t a waste of life I don’t know what is, but these losers will pat each other on the back by saying it’s “the right thing to do” or some other hollow justification that doesn’t mean anything. As if the guy who gets married at a young age, pays his bills on time, and is constantly working in an office (all-day every-day) to pay for all of that shit somehow “wins at life” in a moral sense.
I love these “sexual code of conduct” fuckers all over the internet who have never set foot in a strip club, banged an escort, or even talked to a girl who does any kind of sex work talking about how wonderful things like monogamy, dating, and relationships are compared to what’s fairly common practice for guys with money and success. It’s like me telling Neil Armstrong what it’s like to walk on the surface of the moon. Let them wallow in their ignorance with their ballooning girlfriends or PUA routines that don’t work 99% of the time.
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 01:10 pm, 25th March 2016@Kryptokate:
It is. 🙂
Well obviously you didn’t have to use the last three, since the first two brainwash about 90 percent of betas. Rarely does a woman encounter a smart beta.
It’s a defense mechanism on their part to avoid depression. They may not even sincerely believe it, but they force themselves to. Otherwise, they’d be miserable.
Because the only other option is them admitting that they are losers.
I think, deep down, they know, but they wilfully delude themselves. See above.
Always! 🙂
First, I never sleep with anyone at work. And I never sleep with taken women if I’ve ever met their husbands/boyfriends. Those men must be complete strangers to me whom I’ll likely never meet in order for me to fuck their wives/girlfriends.
Second, I can’t give up married/taken women. I just can’t. They have given me the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. I never thought it could be this good, until I fucked my first married woman – who was four months pregnant, which made it even hotter 🙂 Only my current girlfriend has even begun to match the passion and intensity in bed that these married/taken women have shown me. So I’m keeping them! Luckily, most of their husbands are betas, which means they’d be more likely to shoot themselves if they ever found out (unless, like you said, there is a herd of them, like at work, but that’s not a factor here). Only a small minority of taken women I’ve been with had alpha 1.0s as husbands who would take a baseball bat to my car…or my head. In those cases, I’ve been more discrete than usual.
Third, my current girlfriend is sort of working as my sex agent now. She hooks me up with my side women (including the married ones) and vets them for me. So that adds a layer of extra protection.
Actually, following the sheeple has always been much more difficult for me. I won’t give in to something I’m not.
Maybe when you’re at work or sleeping with taken people within your social circle where the husband/boyfriend is your acquaintance. But I don’t do it that way.
In any case, thanks for your concern. It’s appreciated. And on a side note Kate, if you’ve never slept with a married man, I STRONGLY recommend it! You haven’t experienced great sex until you’ve done it with a married person! I’m sure married men will be as good in bed for you as married women have been for me! I seriously suggest you try it! Obviously, be careful, don’t do it with someone from work or with someone whose wife you’re likely to run into, but definitely do it! It might even convince some of these married dudes that many women do act like they do in porn, but then again, you probably don’t want a beta. In any case, think about it! 🙂
Kryptokate
Posted at 04:15 pm, 25th March 2016@ Jack Never knowingly slept with a married man. I believe you about the sex, because taboo and danger ups the intensity. But I’m way too afraid of being taken down by other women/getting a reputation as a homewrecker, so I won’t do it. I don’t care about the moral aspect at all, since I already know 98% of married guys would fuck me if I came on to them and therefore don’t really see the difference between them doing it in their minds or real life. So it’s not the morals I care about, it’s just that I can’t do something that I think would end up harming me. Plenty of women already won’t let their husbands around me or don’t like me around them…I don’t need to go actually doing anything that would confirm me as a danger and get me in trouble.
I’m sure I’m missing out, but I wouldn’t risk it. Maybe if I was on vacation in a different state/country and it was a one time thing or something, but definitely not where I live. It’s already a ton of effort for me to make other women feel non-threatened by me, I can’t afford to do anything that would alarm the herd and get my ass kicked like the woman in Brave New World. Kind of sad, because actually my life would be WAY easier if I just slept with married guys. But I’m afraid of other women.
And I’m sure you’re careful, but just….stay careful. Male sexual jealousy-rage can be a shockingly powerful and destructive thing, even from men who otherwise seem to be mild-mannered betas. It’s not something that’s talked about, but I would guess that a enormous majority of murders — like well over half — are actually caused by sexually jealous rages. Of course, a huge number of male suicides are too, like you pointed out. Probably more than 50% in that case and more like 90%.
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 04:51 am, 26th March 2016@Kate: Well, if you believe that you have too much of a high profile to not get caught, I understand. It sucks though.
On another note, I believe you said somewhere that you’ve never had a threesome, or any type of group sex, either! Okay, now that is something I won’t let you off the hook for. If anyone deserves some group sex, it’s you! Promise me you’ll eventually make that happen. Please!
Alright, I understand. But the no threesome thing, I still blame you for. 🙂
Well, some men are in open marriages. I’m sure there must be a poly circle in your area…..
Definitely. Thank you, Kate.
Yeah, you’re right. I’ve heard of some of these nerds kill the wife, her lover, and then themselves. And the irony here is that a woman is less likely to cheat on a man who is alpha enough to let her do it. Most of these cheating wives/girlfriends are with betas who would either try something violent or melt down in tears at her feet, which is precisely why they are so unattractive, hence the cheating.
Then again, I’ve been with some married women who were very attracted to their alpha husbands, but just wanted some great sex on the side for reasons having nothing to do with him…
Hmmm. Well, I don’t think I’m stupid for not being afraid for my life, but you do make good points. Like I said, my girlfriend is now my sex agent who vets these women for me. This adds an extra layer of protection that makes my death even less likely.
In any case, if I die by the hand of some jealous beta, or alpha 1.0, you’ll be the first to know because my girlfriend will come on here and post the details. I don’t think I’ll die though. But of course her and I will stay careful when we plan our seduction strategies for sleeping with other people.
Thank you again Kate for your concern. It’s appreciated.
But on a lighter note: Promise me you’ll get at least one threesome if you’ve never had one. 🙂
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 05:07 am, 26th March 2016@Vitriol:
For the record, I’ve never set foot in a strip club (or if I have, I’ve blocked it out) and I’m the opposite of these betas. I don’t think I can set foot in a strip club without vomiting. Something about paying women money for their sexuality makes me sick! I think these betas have definitely set foot in strip clubs though. That’s why they’re betas!
I’ve never done that either and I never will. The thought of paying money for sex activates my gag reflex. I’ll leave that to the gameless betas.
I think talking to a woman who does professional sex work would activate my gag reflex as well.
While I agree that, for the beta male, prostitutes are superior to, and cheaper than, conservative gold digging housewives, they are, nevertheless, the lesser of two evils. Prostitutes, while better than hypergamous wives, still play the sex for money game (albeit less money) and are therefore still perpetuating the frame of “asexual woman gives, heterosexual man receives,” as distinguished from the frame which alphas seek that dictates “alpha gives, heterosexual woman receives (sex for sex).”
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 05:13 am, 26th March 2016@POB:
Completely agree!
Nice!
Well done!