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Today is the last installment in our racial series. Prior installments were for black guys, Indian guys, and Asian guys. Today we’ll wrap things up with Hispanic dudes.
-By Caleb Jones
Regardless, as a Hispanic guy you’re still going to have your own unique set of challenges, all of which were installed by the greatest source of false Societal Programming in your life: your family.
1. Your Conflicting Upbringing
Hispanic guys are raised by their parents with the most conflicting SP of perhaps all other races.
On one side, you had your mother. Throughout your childhood, your mother drilled into you the concept that men are all assholes, liars, pigs, shitheads, and ravenous monsters who cannot be trusted, just like your dad. “But YOU won’t be like that, Pedro. You’re a good boy.”
The implication is that you need to grow up and be a beta so you’re not like that evil son of a bitch who impregnated her with you. The problem is that she neglects to mention that this assholish, extreme Alpha behavior was what worked on her. So you exist in a constant state of cognitive dissonance with your angry, high drama, Hispanic mom who both loves and hates Alpha Males at the same time.
On the flip side, you had your dad during your childhood. At least some of you did. Many of you didn’t, which is problem number one. If you had a dad, he told you pretty much the opposite. He was probably a high drama Alpha Male 1.0 with lots of game, and he probably told you to embrace your assholishness, because that’s what girls like. (At least Hispanic girls.)
Not only does his advice completely conflict with your mom’s advice, but it’s narrowly calibrated towards attracting Hispanic women (maybe) rather than women of other races.
So finally, you grow up and get out on your own, and you have this huge inner conflict about how to behave with women. Beta and nice, or extreme Alpha 1.0 and asshole? Which one?
You have got to emotionally embrace the proper frames I (and many others) talk about which work best for attracting women of all races. Those frames are not the beta male of your mother’s desire (far from it), nor are they the extreme asshole Alpha Male 1.0 of your dad’s (which too much for most non-Hispanic women).
They are instead, confident but outcome independent, relaxed but strong, sexual but not horny, and aggressive but not rude. If your goal is ongoing relationships, then you need to adjust your frame to 85% player, 15% provider, as I describe here. Remember that as a Hispanic dude, you’re likely going to naturally push too hard over to the Alpha Male 1.0 / player side of the scale. Similar to black guys, you need to dial that back a few notches.
2. Extreme Family Drama
Of all the races, Hispanic people have the most family drama, by far. I mean that. By far. Even black people don’t have the extreme, nonstop, vitriolic family drama that is considered “normal” in Hispanic circles. Just about every Hispanic guy I’ve known and every Hispanic woman I’ve dated has had to put up with extreme, constant, ever-pounding, screaming, bitching drama from parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, spouses, ex-spouses, and everyone else.
Whenever I point this out to these people, they nod and agree, but then say something like, “Yeah, we have a lot of drama, but we still love each other,” and then they go right back to screaming at their aunt or whatever.
This is part of Hispanic culture and I get it. (I think it’s ridiculous, but I get it. Hispanics are a hot-blooded lot.) The problem is this drama family culture programs you to bring drama like this into your relationships with women. I have seen Hispanic guys get involved with the stupidest and most extreme drama with women that I’ve ever seen, and that’s saying a lot.
If you want to get good with women and stay happy with the woman side of your life, you’re going to have to put your family at a distance and practice being relaxed, chill, and non-reactive with the people close to you. As a Hispanic man, you are seriously doomed to live a life of non-stop drama if you don’t.
3. Warped Catholic Shit
As if these problems weren’t enough, most Hispanics are extremely Catholic. So not only does your manly-man culture tell you to go out and bang girls by being an asshole, it also tells you to not use a condom on those girls because that’s against God’s Will™. Your culture tells you to go out and bang tons of girls, but also to marry one of them as soon as possible because That’s What Jesus Wants™. Then when you’re stupid enough to get married, you’ll cheat like the dog you are, get divorced, and do it all over again.
I’ve dated enough Hispanic women to know that they hate using condoms because it somehow takes “God’s Will” away from what might happen. If God wants them to get pregnant, they’ll get pregnant. If he doesn’t, they won’t. It’s Up To God™, not some condom.
You, as a Hispanic man, likely have this brainwashing too. It explains all the Hispanic men out there who have no fathers.
I was raised Catholic myself. I know all about removing the brainwashing and damage this causes. Read this article here about that. Just remember that just because your mom told you something about God or Jesus doesn’t mean it actually works or makes sense in the real world of the Western 21st century.
That wraps it up for our racial series! I hope it’s helped.
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a-jay 2016-09-12 06:15:04
I would like to hear your thoughts on Middle Eastern guys who would like to do well with Western women. Personally it's not a big deal to me as an Iranian, but I would like to know the deal with the rest of my Middle Eastern fellows, Arabs in particular.
Kurt 2016-09-12 06:56:52
Haha so funny and true about the condom thing. I've seriously considered vasectomy for that but I'd have to keep it top secret because latina chicks hate the idea of a guy who can't get them pregnant. Even though everything would be completely fucked up and they will hate you for it if you do. Not to mention STDs. More latina drama.... oh but they can be so damn hot in the sack.
Bobby 2016-09-12 07:15:36
Good article BD.... I am Hispanic, and can attest to all this. Yes, mom will send the complete opposite message of what Dad tells you. This guarantees that there will always be drama for everybody. What's amazing is that my mother was able to instill all these ideas in me without ever saying a word to me about.... It was in the things she said to my sister and her female friends; always insulting men at every turn. I am 38 years old, and I can still make Dad very proud of me by scoring with good looking women, while deeply upsetting my mother at the same time. The condom stuff isn't so much of an issue anymore (at least where I live which is Toronto Canada, maybe things are different in the US) .... although my dad has told me what he had to go trough regarding this, and it was completely ridiculous. Nowadays, Hispanic women don't have a problem with condoms. They just need some time to somehow rationalize what they're doing. Don't ever believe a Hispanic woman that tells you she's on the pill though.... as soon as she develops feelings for you, she will stop taking them, maybe even before that. Yes, Hispanic women are extremely high drama. It's actually embarrassing, especially since they don't recognize this at all.
Chris Stevenson 2016-09-12 07:45:15
Great article and as thanks I will write your next one for free. Just change the word Hispanic for Southern Italian throughout the article and you have nailed them too. I spent early years around them and dated a few seriously since I lived in one of their enclaves for the time. The most the females can ever be is the occasional FB. The men are Omega pseudo Alphas. Actually I am wrong, they have it worse than Hispanics.
Lon Spector 2016-09-12 08:20:55
Why all the complication? I can get ANY German or Swedish girl I want! Just wear a filthy rag around my head and DEMAND her!
JRM 2016-09-12 10:20:10
As a "gringo" living in Miami, I can attest that getting and dating Hispanic women has been one of the toughest challenges of my life for all of the above reasons. But god damn, they're all so fine.
Blackdragon 2016-09-12 12:36:23
I would like to hear your thoughts on Middle Eastern guys who would like to do well with Western women. Personally it’s not a big deal to me as an Iranian, but I would like to know the deal with the rest of my Middle Eastern fellows, Arabs in particular.I honestly don't have enough experience with that type of men to give a meaningful opinion other than a few vague guesses. The overbearing, higher-drama Alpha 1.0 behaviors of black guys and Hispanic guys definitely apply to Arab and Persian men, so you should probably take the same "calm down" advice I give to those men.
Haha so funny and true about the condom thing. I’ve seriously considered vasectomy for that but I’d have to keep it top secret because latina chicks hate the idea of a guy who can’t get them pregnant.Haha! Yes! I've seen that too! Hispanic women are hardcore babymakers.
oh but they can be so damn hot in the sack.Yes. Best kissers of all the races too. Mmmmmm...
The condom stuff isn’t so much of an issue anymore (at least where I live which is Toronto Canada, maybe things are different in the US) …. although my dad has told me what he had to go trough regarding this, and it was completely ridiculous. Nowadays, Hispanic women don’t have a problem with condoms. They just need some time to somehow rationalize what they’re doing.Can't speak for Toronto, but in the US, yes, Hispanic women still hate condoms.
Yes, Hispanic women are extremely high drama. It’s actually embarrassing, especially since they don’t recognize this at all.Correct, because it's normal and all around them at all times, so they can't "see it. Like a fish that says "Water? What water? There's no water around here. What are you talking about?"
Great article and as thanks I will write your next one for free. Just change the word Hispanic for Southern Italian throughout the article and you have nailed them too.I had to think about that for a minute, but you're right! Funny, since I'm going to Sicily next month.
Eddie 2016-09-12 14:14:52
Ha, another great series... but you should add one more (White Guys) so that it can fit neatly into the series. Whoa, what is it with this... 3. Warped Catholic Shit... what you said,
"I’ve dated enough Hispanic women to know that they hate using condoms because it somehow takes “God’s Will” away from what might happen. If God wants them to get pregnant, they’ll get pregnant. If he doesn’t, they won’t. It’s Up To God™, not some condom". ..You can easily switch Hispanics for Filipinas..... I'm always amazed how many young girls end up pregnant (which keeps them poor and uneducated). Lastly, as they say, GENERALLY SPEAKING...(Black Guys and Hispanic Guys) are similar with Natural Game, Style, Clothing, Athletics, Dancers and being The ALPHA LOVERS, while (Whites Guys and Asian Guys) are similar in being Shy, Corny, Nice & Nerdy, Business Men, Sugar Daddies (Mail order brides from Europe and Southeast Asia guys) and The BETA PROVIDERS. Your thoughts.....
skills 2016-09-12 17:03:02
Damm, bd, disappointed with this article, but instead of nitpick i will tell you the 4 biggest problems with hispanic dudes/players: 1.- The extreme Madonna whore complex (actually you and sedfast were big help with this) 2.- macho jealousy ( i can cheat and do my thing but you can't) need to control (again you and sedfast help me personally a lot with this) 3.- lack of relationship management ( they tend to be super cheaters) 4.- they like to get mono Disney and have a bunch of kids (this you kind of address a bit)
Joelsuf 2016-09-12 17:24:26
I would like to know the deal with the rest of my Middle Eastern fellows, Arabs in particular.I would say see his post on Blacks and Indians. In my experience, most Middle Eastern dudes are a combination of the two: They have the loud obnoxious try-hard persona of the common black dude, but have the sex negative upbringing of the common indian dude.
Gary 2016-09-12 17:28:57
Americans seem to have a problem differentiating between race and culture. What you describe in most of this series are cultural phenomenon and not racial ones tied to genetics. Please revise your articles for the sake of accuracy.
Blackdragon 2016-09-12 17:42:43
You can easily switch Hispanics for FilipinasCorrect. Filipino culture is essentially a Hispanic culture in just about all respects when it comes to these dynamics (except that the Filipinos have even higher sex drives, so you get more cheating and things like that).
GENERALLY SPEAKING…(Black Guys and Hispanic Guys) are similar with Natural Game, Style, Clothing, Athletics, Dancers and being The ALPHA LOVERS, while (Whites Guys and Asian Guys) are similar in being Shy, Corny, Nice & Nerdy, Business Men, Sugar Daddies (Mail order brides from Europe and Southeast Asia guys) and The BETA PROVIDERS.Yeah, pretty much. White guys, Indian guys, and Asian guys have the least amount of game. Black and Hispanic guys are generally skilled in that area (and just go too far).
1.- The extreme Madonna whore complex (actually you and sedfast were big help with this) 2.- macho jealousy ( i can cheat and do my thing but you can’t) need to control (again you and sedfast help me personally a lot with this) 3.- lack of relationship management ( they tend to be super cheaters) 4.- they like to get mono Disney and have a bunch of kids (this you kind of address a bit)I realize English is your second language, but I addressed literally all four of those things in the above article, just using different words.
Americans seem to have a problem differentiating between race and culture. What you describe in most of this series are cultural phenomenon and not racial ones tied to genetics. Please revise your articles for the sake of accuracy.You're technically correct, but splitting this out in terms of cultures would make the conversation way too complicated and clumsy to follow easily. (Also realize that at least 50% of the audience here are Americans, and I have to write for the audience.) But more importantly, just because we're not talking about 100% genetic features doesn't mean what I'm saying is inaccurate. For example, most racially Hispanic people come from Hispanic cultures. Therefore whether it comes from genetics or culture isn't really relevant.
Blackdragon 2016-09-12 17:54:56
A woman I know just sent me this video. It's hilarious, and touches on some of the things I mentioned in the article. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bgCo7RVML0
Eddie 2016-09-12 21:32:14
BD, you've traveled all over the world and dated different races of women. Would you consider extending this series into a... how to date an Asian girl, Latin girl, White girl and Black girl... just a thought.... thanks.
Blackdragon 2016-09-13 11:09:10
Would you consider extending this series into a… how to date an Asian girl, Latin girl, White girl and Black girlA series of blog posts wouldn't be required. I can explain it all right here: Hispanic women - Be a little more tough/aggressive, and tolerate a lot more drama. Black women - Same as Hispanic women, just don't expect blowjobs. Asian women - Dial down the energy/aggressiveness a little. Indian women - Expect longer meet-to-lay times (unless born and raised in the West). That's about it. What works, works with women of all races, with little exception. Of course there are cultural differences, since it's unfair to categorize all "Asian" women as one block. Asian women in Taiwan are more conservative than Asian women in Thailand, for example.
Christian 2016-09-13 11:17:46
Hello Blackdragon, One question, how do you think that specifically Mexicans are perceived in terms of SMV? I think that all the racial prejudice many Americans have (including American girls) plays against our game big time! HOW CAN WE OVERCOME THIS TO INCREASE OUR SMV??? I've noticed that at Cancun spring break, Americans perceive us Mexicans poorly due to tons of stereotypes that doesn't apply anymore. At least not to me. I'm not the regular "Jose". Not at all. The video you posted above with the dumb ass cholo and the tamales is a proof of the way we're perceived. Damn! it is very similar to the way SP tries to make fun of black guys. Not cool! Back on spring break: I have a 6 figure salary, I'm jacked and wear designer clothes at only 22 years old but all they ask is: so, ... ...Where you from? Even though I speak fluid English and I'm staying at the same hotel. I'm a successful, confident, good looking fun guy and have huge game ("but" brown) I have no problems picking up girls in other countries (huge success in northern Europe 🙂 ) but at spring break most white and black girls have an extremely negative reaction the second you approach them, I know this is racial related because they don't even let you try and look down on me. But the Americans who don't have this kind of thinking had a blast partying with me! (great dancing and vibe like most Latin guys). I care because Americans are among the most amazing citizens of the world, awesome people and really hot girls! Any Ideas? Thanks in advance. And by the way: Your blog fuckin' rocks! Can't believe you're not at least twice as famous and rich!
Eddie 2016-09-13 11:38:41
"Black women – Same as Hispanic women, just don’t expect blowjobs."Damn...that's too funny but so true...had me LMFAO. And what's your summation of White girls (European/American)? I wanted to ask about how different game works for different ages but your brilliant article on "Ages of Women and their Differences" may have to suffice (even though it was written 5 years ago). Thanks.
Blackdragon 2016-09-13 11:40:41
One question, how do you think that specifically Mexicans are perceived in terms of SMV?Depends on the Mexican. A dark skinned Mexcian with a thick accent, dressed like a cholo, with a greasy haircut and a aggressive, high-drama attitude obviously has low SMV. A lighter skinned Mexican with a minor accent, dressed nice, with a normal haircut, and a chill, low-drama attitude not only has a decent SMV, but in many scenarios is going to be considered more attractive than me, a pasty white guy.
I think that all the racial prejudice many Americans have (including American girls) plays against our game big time!No it doesn't. Stop whining. I know Mexican dudes who bang white chicks left and right without any major problems. I just saw on Facebook yesterday that one of my super hot, young, ex-FBs just got engaged to a Mexican guy, and she's 100% white and smokin' hot. See what I just wrote above.
HOW CAN WE OVERCOME THIS TO INCREASE OUR SMV??See what I just wrote above.
Blackdragon 2016-09-13 13:23:56
And what’s your summation of White girls (European/American)?They're the baseline standard for everything I talk about here. (And not just white girls, but also Asian and Indian girls born and raised in the West.)
I wanted to ask about how different game works for different ages but your brilliant article on “Ages of Women and their Differences” may have to suffice (even though it was written 5 years ago). Thanks.Yep. That article is one of the most important ones I've ever written, and it still accurate.
donnie demarco 2016-09-13 14:56:30
Funny, I'm Asian but this article basically summed up my childhood. A high-drama, outcome-dependent father combined with an overly religious mother. Dad telling me what works with women, and Mom telling me to do the opposite. Sorry Mom, while you may be right about many things, in this case you were wrong.
Roberto 2016-09-17 17:55:29
A lighter skinned Mexican with a minor accent, dressed nice, with a normal haircut, and a chill, low-drama attitude not only has a decent SMV, but in many scenarios is going to be considered more attractive than meWell, you just described yours truly. Glad to hear that For me, I attract a lot of hot looking White and Black 33-45 yr old women. Younger women feel intimidated - so I've been told.
Not too late to the party? 2016-09-22 19:52:42
I notice that the Hispanic guys I see doing well with white girls are practically tanned white guys, at times you can't even differentiate between them and a Southern European. One other thing I disagree with you on BD, I think black guys do better than Hispanic guys in the game when it comes to getting white girls. When I lived in Arizona, I saw so many hot white girls go with black men to the point where almost every black guy I knew was with a white girl. White girls with Hispanic men were rare unless the latino looked entirely white. One other thing, I've noticed that the kinds of white girls I have seen latinos get are more brunettes and especially redhead. I see this for ALL guys of minority groups that aren't black. Very rarely do I see a latino or any non-black with a hot blonde (unless he looks entirely like a white guy), so it makes me wonder, is it confirmation bias on my part or is there something to it?
RuRu 2018-02-08 00:00:11
Hispanics are white.