22 Feb Women’s Justification of Drama and Disney
About two years ago, a female commenter named “Lady” posted a comment on this article I wrote regarding women’s greatest long-term downfall in terms of relationships; the bullshit fantasy of the man who doesn’t exist: the submissive Alpha Male.Here’s what she said. I know this is an old post but I feel like I have to bump it. Hopefully I can contribute something helpful. Looking over all these comments, it disturbs me greatly that there are so many men that have been hurt by so many women, so very badly.
-By Caleb Jones
My man was once engaged to a girl who denied him any freedom with his friends, only let him put the tip in, occasionally sucked him off but no cumming in the mouth or on her and she eventually cheated on him. However, I would definitely describe him as an Alpha. Maybe he was trying to be beta to keep her (what he thought was) happy? Or maybe he became Alpha later– I did meet him when he was right out of Ranger training.A woman describing her boyfriend or husband as “Alpha” when he clearly is not is a common trope with women. Even Dominants (and I’m not saying Lady is one) are embarrassed to admit that their boyfriend/husband plays second fiddle to her.
One of my favorite quotes was spoken by an ex-FB many years ago. She was a Dominant married to a beta male (of course), and when we were talking about dominant sex, I pointed out that her beta husband wouldn’t be able to be dominant with her in bed. Her angry, defensive response was, and I quote, “Yes he is! He’s dominant in bed when I tell him to be!”On a side note: Special Forces men have unbelivAble alpha energy. I feel totally physically safe with him. Upon meeting him, men instantly act like they want his approval. Women of all ages admire him openly (and stare at me with the hate of a thousand hells). The sex is super hot and he absolutely turned me out. **He convinced me to give up my v-card in TWO WEEKS–!** It took several years for his own friends to speak to me in a relaxed way and when we are in public and speak to another man, they will not even LOOK (much less speak) at me. It took me almost 8 years to figure out why, lol. They fear and respect him I guess. Only other alpha males approach me now… Is this a sense all you guys have or something??
What is she describing here? If you answered NRE, you’re right. She’s describing how her relationship was, back at the beginning, and how amazing it was. She is not describing how it is now (even though she uses present tense in some of her sentences).It would be pretty naive of me to believe that women are less likely to be verbally abusive, emotionally manipulative and unfaithful than men but I suppose that’s what I have thought all of this time.
Yup. We all like to think our gender is better than the other, that most of the problems lie with the other. It’s not that simple. I have blamed women for the evil they do (70-80% of divorces are initiated by the female, three-fourths of boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are terminated by the female, divorce rape, alimony, child support, and so on), and I’ve also attacked men regarding how most relationship problems are their fault (due to oneitis, neediness, jealousy and so forth).There’s a lot of blame to go around. Happiness is about looking at yourself first, fixing yourself first. Then, after that, you can point the finger at the other gender on more solid ground.
IMHO, many of these women probably aren’t even aware of the truly fulfilling attitude of “submission of will and service of heart”. The short version for that is, the woman submits what she wants for what the man wants and serves him with all of her heart. To the ‘modern feminist woman’, I am sure this sounds like the height of ignorance and perhaps blind willfulness.Only if that makes you happy. Did that make Lady happy? Let’s see…It would be a lie to say that actively choosing to adopt this attitude is easy. At times, it is an incredibly difficult, pride-swallowing, white hot dagger to the heart.
Nope. It made her unhappy. And it gets worse.
I have been put on the back burner, made agreements with him that were not honored, been called almost every name in the book, accused of things I did not do, insulted without cause and had many of my own talents and desires suppressed because he did not like those things about me. (but I have never been bored!)
Horrible, borderline abusive drama… and she defends it a little at the end, justifying that it’s not boring.What have I said about women numerous times? That they hate to be BORED. They would rather be in a horribly negative state than be bored. The greatest fear of a woman isn’t drama, or hatred, or anger, or fighting… it’s boredom.Lady is Exhibit A. A man can be bored for 20 years and be just fine (it’s not a good thing, but he will be “fine”). A woman wouldn’t be able to handle boredom for six months before she does something to stir shit up (start horrible drama, cheat, quit her job, end a long-term friendship, dump the guy she’s with, or some other sharp disruption to her life).Once again, I chose to accept this treatment. I maybe chose it without fully knowing the consequences of my choice, but I own that choice.Of course. Because it wasn’t boring.Having said that, I have and do stand up to him on a regular basis. I will no longer allow him to degrade me or insult me. I work on improving myself and giving him the respect he deserves for his sacrifice of working hard and paying our expenses. If he ever cheats on me it is over, no second chances on that one…and I have learned so much about myself and who I am.
You’ll see what I said to her in a moment about that cheating part.IE: I would never, ever be satisfied being with a beta or omega male.Right. Because that would be boring. Her high-drama asshole husband is horrible, but at least he’s not boring.I am considered a ‘top quality wife’ (by my husband and his braver friends lol) I am not perfect. I am so much stronger (emotionally) than I ever thought I could be. I am an amazing fuck.There are many other things like how to fire a gun, how to drive a tractor and the various parts of the body to punch/jab/kick if I am being attacked lol.. (edit: #2,4 & 5 may sound arrogant but I had almost zero self esteem when I met him) Oh, so many clues in there for you more eagle-eyed readers, but I’ll let you guys discuss that.
For all you alphas out there, I commend you for embracing what makes you men– your natural ability to lead others into safety and provision despite opposition or manipulation. In other words, your balls. Please, just remember that most of us ladies want a man who holds tightly to his manhood but also just as tightly to his woman’s heart.Okay, now here’s what I said to her in response:He’s not Alpha. You’re describing him as Alpha because you’re married to him and you love him so your perception of him is skewed.Your marriage is dysfunctional. I suggest getting marriage counseling immediately (or divorce him).
“If he ever cheats on me it is over, no second chances on that one”
He will. Eventually. To think he won’t is a teenage level of thought. Accept it or move on.
Lady did not respond to me. However, an entire year later, she made another comment in the same thread. Here it is:
Reading through what I said, I cringed, but I still stand by it. It was all true at the time. All the love and idolizations, all the co-dependency.“It was true at the time.” This is how women think. “I didn’t lie to you. What I said was true at the time. I wanted to be with you forever, but now I don’t.”
This is extremely difficult for men to understand. Men view it as lying and/or abusive. And if taken in a masculine context, it is. But women are not men. You can’t expect them to think or act like men. To do so is stupid, as well as explains why so many men, Alpha Males (1.0) included, do things like traditionally monogamously marry women thinking it will be “forever” because she said so.
I left him last January. I finally had enough of him being an asshole.
And there it is. Predictable.
You were right. He did cheat on me.
Yep. Again, predictable.
Expecting long-term sexual monogamy from your long-term partner IS ONE OF THE STUPIDEST THINGS HUMAN BEINGS DO. I don’t give a fuck what this person (man or woman doesn’t matter) promises. At some point down the road, your perfect boyfriend / girlfriend / husband /wife WILL FUCK SOMEONE ELSE.Maybe they will dump you before fucking someone else, or maybe they will fuck someone else while staying with you, but either way, THEY WILL FUCK SOMEONE ELSE. PLAN ON THIS. DON’T BE SURPRISED WHEN IT HAPPENS, BECAUSE IT WILL, YOU FUCKING MORON. AND YES, I’M TALKING TO YOU, THE READER, IF YOU’RE IN A MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP OF ANY KIND RIGHT NOW, OR PLAN TO BE AT SOME POINT.
I realized I just made several thousand people very angry by saying that. Good. I’m right. Deal with it.
I didn’t find out until after I left, but I found out and it was multiple women.
Of course it was. Monogamy doesn’t work. Many people trying to force it end up exploding later, which is what happened here.
Her husband did a “Tiger Woods.” He was a beta who tried to lock himself into monogamy and then exploded, suddenly banging as many women as he could to overcompensate.
He had the girl he had been fucking in the new house we had just built (that I designed and loved) a week after I was out the door. As if I never meant anything to him other than what my body could do for him and the status it offered to him to have an adoring, loving wife.
Ah, now Lady gets a little taste of what it’s like to be a man. Usually it’s the woman who instantly monkey-branches to a new guy after a breakup, and the man cries and wallows in oneitis for a few months, longing for her to come back.
What I don’t understand about rereading all these comments and your information is how you separate having women on the side from being in a loving, respectful marriage. If they have an upfront agreement, straight off the bat, that’s one thing. But to hide it from her? And expect her to just take it because he’s an Alpha male and she should be so lucky?
Exactly, and I agree. I think cheating is horrible, including when men do it. I have never cheated on anyone in my entire life, and I’m one of the few men I know at my age who can honestly say this. I never do monogamy in the first place, because I don’t utilize systems in my life that don’t work.
However, this doesn’t let people off the hook at being shocked that their “perfect” partner cheats on them, especially if that person is a man. Men fuck multiple women. It’s what men do. They were never designed to be monogamous, period. Accept this and integrate this into your life, or spend the rest of your life being disappointed.
Oh, this applies to men too. Women weren’t designed for long-term monogamy either.
My ex may have been masculine in appearance and demeanor— but he wasn’t a real man. I don’t care if he worked hard, could protect me from physical harm and was classically handsome. A man who openly disrespects his woman, verbally abuses her and cheats on her is no kind of man I ever want to know.
…yet you let him take your virginity, and you married him, and you stuck with him for quite some time while justifying the drama you were receiving.
Only now, after you’ve done what women statistically do and divorced his ass, now he’s a terrible guy.
I hope you guys are paying close attention.
And by the way, remember that Lady was a virgin. What do you think about all that bullshit advice you hear from right-wing manosphere guys telling guys to marry virgins?
Yeah… it’s a nice thought, but how does that work out in real life?
Speaking of real life, let’s see if Lady understands her mistake and has learned from it…
I am doing what I can to heal and move away from being attracted to the asshole Alpha type. I’m better than that- and I believe there are men out there who are just as manly and attractive and kind as I desire, and they could give a fuck about appearing to be this confident, manly man who thinks they are better than everyone else because they are ruled by their cocks and not by their souls.And there we go. Even after all of that, she’s circled all the way back to the original point of the very article that she was commenting on… that there is no such thing as a submissive Alpha Male, yet that is exactly what she’s describing.Per the usual Divorced Woman Playbook™, she is now going to go on some kind of Disney dating site like Match.com, go on a bunch of extravert first dates (paid for by the men, of course), pull out her over-33 Provider Hunter checklist, and start screening for a tough, badass, high-T Alpha Male who is also sweet and kind and submissive and treats her like a Lady (oh, the irony of her avatar name).
When she comes across any Alphas, she’s going to snort, accuse them of being rude assholes, and move on.
When she comes across any betas, she won’t be attracted at all, and complain about where all the “good men have gone.”
And she will never find what she wants.
Even everything she’s been through wasn’t enough to teach her.
She’s a woman.
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Gang
Posted at 06:59 am, 22nd February 2019Yes, Sir! Now THIS is some good anti monogamy article. Please do make these people angry more often.
I wish nonmonogamy or even polyamory was already the societal norm and monogamy the pathological minority.
John
Posted at 07:16 am, 22nd February 2019It’s been talked about before, men look for the female unicorn. She’s flipped the script and is looking for the male unicorn, a submissive Alpha. They don’t exist.
Andrea
Posted at 07:30 am, 22nd February 2019Hi BD,
Great piece. However, I must tell you that knowing that monogamy doesn’t work hasn’t been easy to accept at all. Do you have any idea how PF grew to accept it? Does she still struggle with it or does one get to a point when it becomes easier?
Moreover, I’ve noticed that there’s more men who would rather cheat and deal with drama than accept this truth simply because their egos control them.
Thank you for the work you do because we, women, want and need more Alpha 2s in our lives.
VSmilex
Posted at 07:39 am, 22nd February 2019It is much more accepted than 10-15 years ago. People like Will Smith, Scarlett Johansson, Hugh Heffner (did you see the reaction in the media when he died? Incredibly positive, almost Mandela-like), Leonardo Di Caprio, etc. endorse it. It is slowly becoming a major movement.
On side note, BD, how did you determine her ex was not Alpha? Alphas get monogamous too.
CrabRangoon
Posted at 08:17 am, 22nd February 2019“Expecting long-term sexual monogamy from your long-term partner IS ONE OF THE STUPIDEST THINGS HUMAN BEINGS DO”
Truth brotha. I’ve known MANY cases of infidelity (and been the other man many times) from seemingly sweet and innocent girls. These girls completely feel justified in what they’re doing too. It’s not just a one time “mistake” type of thing from what I’ve seen. They will continue affairs for months and years even. And of course men do the same. It’s funny how perfect their social circles think these couples are when I know the truth about so many of them. Women so rarely seem to give up on Disney but I have seen a trend in the 40+ crowd that has seem to let it go after being divorced. Of course that could mainly be due to their lessening of options. Now women 40+ that have never married and still look good are quite the opposite and think they are a fucking queen.
Great stuff today BD! It’s important to reiterate these concepts to men who might fall into the “there’s this one girl…” trap as you like to say.
Franklin
Posted at 09:00 am, 22nd February 2019I think a lot of people would be surprised to learn that beta males tend to be the most abusive in relationships, especially the self-proclaimed “nice guys.” Jason Robillard wrote a very accurate description on his blog in an entry titled, “Why do Women Hate Nice Guys?”
TonyOutOfNowhere
Posted at 09:17 am, 22nd February 2019BD,
Did you actively try to reduce/minimize Disney in the girls you have been seeing? Like being a teacher to her? If you did, what are your thoughts, did it help to make the relationship better, or it just made it worse, by making the girls more cynical, or jaded, careless?
I’m regularly doing this with my OLTR. When she was only MLTR, the Disney was not so strong. Now? Oh boy…
Jimmy
Posted at 09:22 am, 22nd February 2019“I did meet him when he was right out of Ranger training.”
Huge beta tell-tale. Enough said! Nev er ceases to amaze me how difficult it is for a man to know what an Alpha is. Women can sniff it out in a matter of minutes.
Once knew a gal who was a 10(homecoming queen of high value university and 21 to). The kind of gal that would cause everyone in the room to stop and stare. We spent some time together and I would pick her up in the morning for work as we worked in the same office. One morning she told me her “FRIEND” had come to the door after running barefoot in the rain at 2 in the morning. Well I kind of smiled and knew exactly what the situation was. Kind of laughing saying oh yeh a friend.
The kicker is the guy was worshiped at his fraternity and had all his brothers doing a a heterosexual man crush on him. Yeh he acted macho but a high SMV women will peel that shit away fast.
Anon
Posted at 09:23 am, 22nd February 2019I have a different theory regarding Nice Guys™. Well, it’s a universal theory even. Only one postulate: People don’t do what would bring them closer to their goals, instead they do what feels fitting for the circumstances.
So a Nice Guy™ sees a girl and does things befitting the situation. Dinners? Well, that’s just the thing you do. Stalking? That feels right. Showering her with gifts? Feels very appropriate.
And if by some chance that ends in a marriage, nothing profound changes.
He feels like having sex. Having sex when you feel like it is so natural, and who cares if she wants it or not.
Something bad happened. She unleashed drama because that’s what came naturally to her. She made false accusations because that’s just how drama works. He got enraged and hit her, isn’t it the natural thing to do when confronted with such injustice?
And so on. Objective reality → feelings → actions. Rational people also operate this way, except they’re sensible enough to carry out such actions as will improve reality around them to the point it no longer causes bad feelings.
Jimmy
Posted at 09:26 am, 22nd February 2019“I think a lot of people would be surprised to learn that beta males tend to be the most abusive in relationships, especially the self-proclaimed “nice guys.” Jason Robillard wrote a very accurate description on his blog in an entry titled, “Why do Women Hate Nice Guys?”
On the surface, the nice guy is perfect. Kind, considerate, attentive, loyal. They’re like a dog… always there to love you. The problem, of course, is that persona is a facade hiding deep insecurity. Below the gilded surface, nice guys are dishonest, secretive, indecisive, manipulative, controlling, and passive-aggressive. They usually have deeply-embedded rage fueled by the resentment of unmet needs, usually have difficulty developing close friendships, and have trouble setting boundaries.”
THIS!!!!!!
MyNameIs K
Posted at 09:55 am, 22nd February 2019I’m a regular reader of KrauserPUA’s blog and yours.
But I just saw his latest blog post..
and then
MM
Posted at 10:10 am, 22nd February 2019Yes, I have also seen the hit piece that Krauser did on Blackdragon on his blog.
I’d be interested to know if BD will respond to it over on the krauser blog ?
Duke
Posted at 10:28 am, 22nd February 2019What a hater. It’s a shame some men can’t handle another man’s success. Attacking another man’s character and business is simply a bitch move. At least when you the haters, you know you’re doing something right.
This coming from a guy that has 5 (?) or more different cold approach books. How much information can you possibly have on this. W. Anton or Mode one is all you need, if anything. This cold approach market makes me sick? How can these guys make so much money on this shit? smh
Jimmy
Posted at 10:56 am, 22nd February 2019WTF is wrong with that guy Krauser. Went to his blog and wow. About the only thing I agree with is that online women are generally always lower in the looks category. Also, the nw is a shit hole.
He claims younger, hotter, tighter? For the women he gets or himself?
Lives with his parents and franky I would not say he beats out BD in looks although I am a guy so can’t guarantee. What a cluster fuck. Does he have pics of the women he gets?
Jimmy
Posted at 10:58 am, 22nd February 2019“How can these guys make so much money on this shit? smh”
I know, maybe I need to get into this as day game is a bit of a specialty for me.
Sailormack
Posted at 11:00 am, 22nd February 2019IME when your competition hates on you, you can bet your bottom dollar that they spend more time thinking about you than is healthy, when they should be working on their own business and improving their own life.
Anyone with any level of intelligence should realise that there is no “magic pill”.
Simple trial and error and as with most things in life, you learn by doing not arguing who has the “best method”.
A
Posted at 11:12 am, 22nd February 2019BD already knows this, but for the others :
BD absolutely should NOT respond to Krauser at all. Just on the last thread, we discussed how so many PUAs, despite regular sex with hot women, are very savant-like, unhappy people, who nonetheless waste precious time and energy picking fights with anyone they perceive to be a business competitor (despite 99% of the addressable market of men still untapped). If that is how they choose to spend their time, that is pathetic.
Krauser revealed himself to be a relatively unhappy person, despite all the hot women he has had sex with.
Anyone who thinks BD should respond to Krauser, unfortunately, has revealed themselves to be more interested in gossip than self-improvement.
FiveSix
Posted at 11:45 am, 22nd February 2019I just read Krauser’s post too, and find it funny how a guy who’s probably banged a few hundred girls is hootin’ for monogamy. Despite any merits in his posts, his growing bitterness is painfully transparent that I don’t think I can bother going there anymore.
CrabRangoon
Posted at 12:05 pm, 22nd February 2019@FiveSix
“find it funny how a guy who’s probably banged a few hundred girls is hootin’ for monogamy”
This is VERY typical and predictable behavior of hardcore player PUA types. They burn out on the constant pickup game and all these “sluts and whores maaaan”. They then do a 180 and try to go monogamous which is a joke since they’ve become to accustomed to variety, so there’s little chance they will stay faithful. They don’t even consider the middle ground like BD describes.
Jim
Posted at 12:05 pm, 22nd February 2019Fairly hilarious post from Krauser. Perhaps he should look up the word cuckold in the dictionary because he does not seem to know what the word means.
A
Posted at 01:21 pm, 22nd February 2019Krauser is just mad that BD isn’t interested in White Trashionalism.
When you think about it, a PUA who becomes a White Trashionalist has contradicted himself, as his own teachings have enabled thousands of colored men to bed white women, which according to the White Trashionalist, is the worst thing in the entire world ever.
hilsey
Posted at 02:40 pm, 22nd February 2019Just here to co-sign what was said about “Nice Guys” and women’s need to Alpha their men more than they are.
My HS friend avoided this nice guy who baked her cupcakes and cookies. Me being a naive teenager actually believed my friend had zero interest in him and he came off pretty lame tbh.
She invited me to their movie “date” where HE bought our tickets. I came to help my friend. She led me to believe she didn’t feel safe alone with him, but I quickly ruined the date (laughing too loud in the theater and being unresponsive the rest of the night). Deep down I felt mislead and annoyed.
What else was I to think? This was the same guy she said yes to go to prom with BUT avoided him the whole night. I was confused.
His whininess and passive aggressive posts about my friend leading him on (which she clearly was) made me de-friend him on facebook. I had enough with both of them really.
Fast forward a decade. She dates but breaks up with more attractive (Alpha) men . We are nearing our 30s. My friend announces “Guess who I’m dating?” She drops the Nice ( passive aggressive) Guy she ignored at prom’s name.
Since I read a lot of your blog by then I was not surprised at all. Gave a boring but supportive “OK, cool. Good Luck” response. She quickly stated he got more handsome and rugged (i.e grew a beard, inches taller) since the last I saw him. She states the “old” her didn’t like him but the “new” her finds him attractive.
Doubtful. He clearly pined for her. I’d be surprised he dated anyone in the 10 years after HS. She saw him as a good back up in case she couldn’t bag who she really wanted and settled for him.
They now live together.
Break ups, cheating, pain ect on the horizon if not already. He’s probably not all that nice to the girl he let treat him like the plague for years. And she is no better.
Typical millennial relationship. Oh well!
Luckily, she doesn’t talk about her relationship with me the rare times we chat (we’re still friendly I just don’t keep tabs on folk like that), and I never spent time with them as a couple. I’m not missing anything.
Anon
Posted at 04:06 pm, 22nd February 2019The uglier the PUA the more valuable the advice, no? Tom Torero comes to mind.
Whatever. However, if I were in BD’s shoes, one thing I’d do is write a Start Here post. Basically, his AM2 ebook condensed to a single article as he’s bound to get traffic like this from time to time and currently there isn’t a good Start Here point.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 06:31 pm, 22nd February 2019To everyone; no more topic thread derailing about this person ranting about me. We’ve already discussed this in the prior thread, I don’t want to derail another one, and I’ll put a post up next week about the “I’ve never seen pictures” argument which is the only actual point he made in that article (since other guys have used this argument before as well), so we can discuss that then.
I’ve already had a 19% spike in ebook sales because of the increased traffic this guy has given me, so as usual, haters make me money, so I’m happy. But let’s move back to the topic of this thread now. Thanks.
She accepted it initially because, like almost all women, every boyfriend she’s ever had in her past has cheated on her, so it it didn’t take a lot of convincing. To get them to agree to nonmonogamy, all you have to say to women these days is, “Every boyfriend you’ve ever had has cheated on you, right?” Then they open their mouths to protest, stop, think about it for a minute, then look down in shame.
Boom, nonmonogamy.
She doesn’t love it and probably never will, but she understands the alternative (getting cheated on, drama, etc), and I make certain accommodations to make it easier on her (within reason of course).
Yes, that’s always true, as long as is the men doing the cheating.
Because she said, My man was once engaged to a girl who denied him any freedom with his friends, only let him put the tip in, occasionally sucked him off but no cumming in the mouth or on her and she eventually cheated on him. Does that sound Alpha to you?
No. People don’t change, and trying to change them is a waste of your time. I just state the facts, live according to my life, watch how she reacts, and categorize her accordingly (FB, MLTR, OLTR, or next).
This entire blog is about to be revamped from top to bottom, and a Start Here will be a part of it. Working on it now.
Gang
Posted at 07:08 pm, 22nd February 2019I didn’t know about Leonardo Dicaprio and a quick google search “Leonardo Dicaprio polyamory” doesn’t give me anything convincing. I am interested in any source or video where he actually stated his endorsement of nonmonogamy or polyamory.
Andrea
Posted at 08:03 pm, 22nd February 2019Just read Krauser’s post and as a woman who follows Roosh, Rollo, Heartiste, and BD I have to say that BD is the more interesting, intelligent, logical, and handsome one. If I had to rank them it would be as follows:
# 5 Krauser
#4 Heartiste
#3Rollo
#2 Roosh
#1BD
However, BD should not be grouped with men who waste their energy preaching to the masses in order to appease their fragile egos. BD’s perspective is honest and refreshing. He comes across as a very driven, disciplined, self-aware, complex, funny, charismatic and powerful man and as a woman I can attest that we always desire men with those qualities (Alpha 2s) more than the bitter, controlling, hateful, and mission-less Alpha 1s. (Roosh is gaining more substance through self-awareness and I just bought his book for women, Lady to see if anything good is in it).
Sorry BD, but I had to share although is off topic.
Oh and of course Ive been following them for years and have read BDs book, The Unchained Man. Which I liked a lot.
John
Posted at 08:33 pm, 22nd February 2019No such thing as a submissive alpha male.. and lol at the basement dweller.. something in the comments must of set the little guy off.. adulthood hits you hard.
CTV
Posted at 10:13 pm, 22nd February 2019I’d say to some extent their could be a Submissive Alpha Male in say the BDSM sense where he enjoys being the Submissive partner to some degree as a Kink thing, But in that lifestyle those Men are getting exactly what they want and often are not monogamous..
So I guess this has a hint of being the fabled Submissive Alpha, probably the closest a Woman will get to that.
Tim
Posted at 12:16 am, 23rd February 2019@ BD
once settled in OLTR, you don’t allow MLTRs (only FBs) saying it’s a big violation, why? when you are already not sexually exclusive, why can’t you be not emotionally exclusive too? is it even practical?
science says women develop pair bonding feelings when they have ongoing sex with a man. it’s a high risk situation when you let your OLTR girl have a side men. Shouldn’t be man concerned about loosing his girl? so in the long term in your system it seems things will not quite work out. if you know an example of 50+ year OLTR please let me know. in other words it would be very hard to have a looong term relationship with a particular women. either she will be tired of tolerating your side sex or she may well prefer to stay with his side man at some point since women usually prefer to have one men at a time. if this is what you want no problem of course but for men who want something more stable it doesn’t seem to be the ideal model. I’m not sure about a better model but below is my thought exercise for a better alternative.
better alternative may be to pick a dependent submissive girl as your women. you support her financially so she is dependent on you financially, and you setup finances in a way that she cannot just divorce you and get your money. you treat her very well in all aspects. she knows you have other women but it will be very hard for her to go fuck another men knowing she would not only loose you but also she would be in big trouble financially.
honestly I can never let any other man fuck my main women/wife as I will never let other people use my car, enter /use my house, or enter/use other things in my life that I highly value.
doing this with an independent minded american women is hard to impossible but there are 3.5 billion women on earth. finding such a dependent (and hot) women is quite possible from a 3rd world country (from south america, asia , or africa). statistically success rate is more than 85% in these marriages and they will be very happy to come to US with you. for men going after something more stable this may be a better option. just some thoughts; I would love to hear your opinion on this model.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 12:54 am, 23rd February 2019You’ve already asked that quesiton before and my answer is the same as last time.
And you’re a Muslim. If you’re a Muslim living in the Muslim world, go right ahead, but this is a blog for men living in the Western world.
Burt
Posted at 01:38 am, 23rd February 2019First sign he is a beta.
2 fucking weeks!!(I bet they were on 5/6 dates before him fucking her.)
Here i disagree with you. This guy is a beta ,but because he was the first guy she had sex with,she stayed with him longer.
They were together 8 years.If this girl had a bf in the past who was an alpha male 1.0,and after that she was in a relationship with this beta,she would get bored much faster,but because this guy was the first who fucked her,she is attracted to him more,compare to the above situation.So if a beta fucks a virgin,that girl will get bored at a lower rate,compared with the same girl,having a relationship with an alpha before the beta.
So if a guy is beta,but he is high drama,he will maintain attraction like a low drama alpha male 1.0?
Dont you think women lose attraction because you soft next and you dont engage in drama?I mean women crave the full range of emotions,if you are an alpha 2.0 your girl will be always “happy” because you dont have drama with her,but she will get bored because you dont allow drama.Correct me if im wrong!
WHAT BD,ignores in his blog is that Women have the capability to Love Two guys at the same time.Sad is that there are no study or surveys on this.But go on google and search”Im in love with two guys and dont know what to do”,the internet is full of girls who have this problem.
But guys dont have this problem.(speaking of alpha guys,if betas can i dont care).I spinned a lot of plates in the past ,but every time i had a girl who i like the most.
John
Posted at 05:37 am, 23rd February 2019thats because people don’t understand that “in-love” is just a base human emotion developed over millions of years of evolution to ensure pair bonding and children.. “In Love” is a mirage.. it’s a trick your body plays on you to get you do stupid things like marriage (even yricks women into marrying abusers and cheaters) and having a bunch of kids.. Then the feeling wears off, the mirage disappears, and then the cheating and divorce begins.. all of course after you’ve married, got fat, and had a bunch of kids. Biology is a bitch.
Real Human love is another topic..
Anon
Posted at 09:54 am, 23rd February 2019I would hate being with a woman who was only agreeing to my terms because of money. Same problems as with prostitution with none of the benefits.
Once it took me, I think, a month or slightly longer to progress from blowjobs to sex with someone who was a virgin. Some time to get her psychologically ready, and more to get her physically ready as she was uncomfortably tight. I was in no rush as I like blowjobs very much. Speaking of which, I came in her mouth on the second date. Which took place one month after the first date.
So you’re over-generalizing. Timelines can vary wildly for all kinds of reasons. Not to mention one can afford to wait if there are other girls to play with.
Maldek
Posted at 11:15 am, 23rd February 2019Wow nice job BD, this blog has become very active. Well done.
To the article, my view:
Problem 1: years of having sex and no kids. Kills her attraction for him. She will not know why, but she will want less and less sex. This will lead to him looking for sex elsewhere if he is high value enough to get some action. Solution: Have a baby. I know this is not everyones cup of tea but thats how it is. Who does not like that can always follow BDs advice. His model works.
Problem 2: They didnt have enough sex. Maybe item 1 is to blame here. But if she expects him NOT to cheat but does not provide enough sex, well ladies – this is not realistic. If your man his high SMV AND loves to have sex he will do so. If it is not you he is fucking, it will be your best female friend, or a girl he meets at work (not wise but thats what guys do), or he will go out and do a few ONS. You get the idea.
Monogamy does work, even in the west. But it is far from easy, and a vast majority will fail. Even knowing it can work, and even with the knowledge and skill….I still think BDs model is superior for the high SMV male.
Only drawback: You cant get lazy. And you cant let yourself go. If you are lazy and you know you will let yourself go – best idea would be to become muslim and live in a muslim country.
Franklin
Posted at 12:51 pm, 23rd February 2019Agreed. I’ve seen a big uptick in comment activity, including a slew of new commenters. Your strategy seems to be working.
The ONLY problem to which having a kid is a solution is that of really wanting kids/fatherhood (even then, there are other important factors you must consider, e.g. financial security). Having a kid for any other reason is one of the most reckless and irresponsible things a person can do.
Also, this advice just doesn’t seem to line up with reality. Will it work in some very exceptional cases? Sure. But you don’t have to do much research to find scores of complaints from mono-LTR men about how their sex life with their partners pretty much disappeared once they had kids. The overwhelming majority of married men in my social and family circles report this same phenomenon as well.
Trying54
Posted at 01:49 pm, 23rd February 2019“When she comes across any Alphas, she’s going to snort, accuse them of being rude assholes, and move on.
When she comes across any betas, she won’t be attracted at all, and complain about where all the “good men have gone.””
This really resonated with me. I live in Portland Oregon where there is one of the widest disparities between college educated women and men. The women outnumber the men 3-1. As a “nice guy” making the transition to being Alpha 2.0 I was always puzzled to hear women in my office and friends lament the lack of dateable men and assumed it had to do with this disparity. They all complain about what losers there exes were and how they wanted a “stable” and “steady” guy. In my beta mind I thought this was great for me because I was stable financially and in every way. Wrong, they weren’t looking for those things, they want EVERYTHING. I don’t get angry, but it is a crazy phenomenon. Men and women making the same mistakes over and over.
Anon
Posted at 02:04 pm, 23rd February 2019In plain English, it does not work.
Definitely this.
Tim
Posted at 02:36 pm, 23rd February 2019@ BD
I asked similar question but not exactly same. I don’t think any one asked these before and you certainly didn’t give any answer in this blog or in your books to the question. Let me rephrase:
1) Why you setup the rule in OLTR” You are not allowed to have MLTRs” requiring emotional exclusivity? Is it realistic or practical?
I highly suspect it’s. I’m basically saying it’s hard to distinguish “being in love”, “having an affection” ,” having sexual intimacy only”, etc. even possible, it’s very easy to move to other state over time. Your OLTR women may end up with his FB at some point. or if she prefers not to have side men, she will be eventually pissed off when you are having sex left and right because it’s not equal, unfair, etc.
2) so my suggestion was to find very feminine, submissive, dependent girl in a 3rd world country and require both sexual and emotional exclusivity from her to keep her for long term. It’s practical; many US men already got married with foreign brides and it works better, and more successful statistically. I have never asked this before and wanted to hear your opinion on this. I think going to a muslim country is not required and it’s impractical even for me.
I agree with Angela that BD and Roosh gives the best advice. That’s why I follow them for years. But I think everyone needs to find his custom model based on his circumstances.
Roosh and many others also have similar suggestions. He is not muslim or religious but he suggests finding a religious, virgin, dependent women in a 3rd world country if you are looking for an ideal mother of your kids to build a stable long term relationship. Yes, muslim girls he mentions as one of the top alternative but he mentions other countries as well. Since he has decades of field experience in all over the world I think it’s possible to do it with women from south america, asia, and other places as well.
BD: your advice is great., and you are giving one of the best advice. But over time men need something more stable and more fulfilling than sleeping with FBs, MLTRs etc. Many people expressed emptiness, feeling unfulfilled etc in the past after following your system and you mentioned you would write a blog post on this but i don’t remember reading it. I think OLTR with side FBs is not the best model for many and practical in the long term either. Roosh recommends the opposite to western women avoiding players, alpha 2s etc for them to be long term happy in his new book Lady.
So I asked several new challenging questions above; you probably cannot answer in few sentences under comment section,and I also mentioned few topics above you can consider writing future blog posts on which some other guys pointed out as well. It would be interesting to read your view on these.
Tim
Posted at 03:19 pm, 23rd February 2019@ Anon
“I would hate being with a woman who was only agreeing to my terms because of money. Same problems as with prostitution with none of the benefits.”
I didn’t suggest to find a women who would stay with you just because of money. I’d never enjoy that either. What I’m suggesting is to find a women who feels she “needs” you. I actually enjoy her femininity, submission, sincere respect and loyalty more than sex. You can never get these with cash exchange with a sugar, or prostitute.
It requires a lot of effort may be learning Spanish or another language, going and leaving some other place at least months if not years to find that ideal loving women. But it’s worth it in my opinion.
Anon
Posted at 03:29 pm, 23rd February 2019Hasn’t this idea surfaced here about one million times? BD’s response always is that it works for a couple of years, then the mail-order bride catches up with the Western style of living and adopts pretty much the same pattern of behavior.
Experience with relationships? https://alphamale20.com/2016/08/22/shouldnt-take-relationship-advice-players/
In physics there’s this thing called dynamic stability. For example, if the air is humid enough, a glass of water on the table won’t dry out and it will appear unchanging. Does it mean no molecules are leaving the glass? No, they’re leaving all the time, but the same number of water molecules is entering the glass from the air. Thus the situation is changing all the time, yet as a whole it can be considered stable.
The situation “I have MLTRs and FBs and I can get new ones anytime” is very much stable in this sense. Like a competent investor who has a portfolio of assets, from time to time swapping some of those for others. On the contrary, if you have one special lady, the situation is stable only until it isn’t.
Anon
Posted at 03:36 pm, 23rd February 2019You did suggest exactly that.
Women feel something and then they don’t. How exactly are you going to either ensure she doesn’t leave you or have that not be a big deal for you?
Tim
Posted at 04:31 pm, 23rd February 2019@ Anon
“How exactly are you going to either ensure she doesn’t leave you or have that not be a big deal for you?”
There is no guarantees and you can never 100% ensure anything in life. However, you will 1000s of times more likely to achieve success in a long term relationship being more stable and happy with the type of women I mentioned; not had previous sexual encounters (ideally virgin), more traditional and religious, more dependent and submissive type who “needs” you.
Although I agree with BD that we shouldn’t get relationship advice from players (I never copied them) it’s worth considering what they say about women, and I think Roosh has valid points in Lady as well.
If you look at the best very successful investors like Warren Buffet they hold on to some stocks/assets forever. it’s this approach that make them rich. most traders (>95%) eventually go to zero over time. I also know in person many great real estate investors who buy and never sell. It’s this mindset that makes them rich, very happy and successful.
Anon
Posted at 04:38 pm, 23rd February 2019Define “success”.
joelsuf
Posted at 05:24 pm, 23rd February 2019B O O M
Got eem!!
And yet people still develop these kinds of expectations. Like moths to the flame… 🙁
Oh and I know it is off topic but I just checked out Krauser’s “article.”
Why must all these scammer PUAs write so horribly? The entire thing is a massive wall of text. Which is then followed by his last “article” which is ANOTHER wall of text. Dude needs lessons in how to write a damn blog.
He dissed JMULV too, that’s something you don’t do. JMULV is proven beyond ANY doubts, so much so that he was jettisoned from RSD because he was outdoing nearly everything RSD was doing.
Between BD, JMULV, Squattin Casanova, and (to some extent) Sonny, no one’s better at chicks. No one comes close. Not Krauser, Roosh, RSD, or any of those scamming pricks.
Eric Smith
Posted at 09:00 am, 24th February 2019Im struggling just to apply what bd talks about, idk how you guys even know about these other guys.
I’d be curious about the clues in this quote…
Generally when I talk to girls I like to hear that they have some kind of life of their own and interests they naturally gravitate towards so things a more based on common interests and not whatever the flavor of the moment is and spending monely endlessly whenever a new flavor shows up.
These sound like a lot of what the guy does not interests she came up with….which is a big way I think BD’s model is better because it gives time to feel the other person out time instead and longer lasting because no ones sacrificing to go do some activity together because yah already did the homework meeting and getting to know eachother.
I’d be interested in what clues BD is talking about…
love how I just warmed up with some harry browne today and this blog post is the exact application of those first few chapters talking about not expecting others to behave they way I would etc also sounds like some randy gage church memeing with the v card, no self esteem, and having an identity defined only by your roles to others.
that being said I see lady’s comments are essentially
“hey I am in this marriage. It use to be good and all these things, but I’m not really doing the things I like to do but at least it’s not boring. Maybe other people would do this If they just understood. Maybe less women would hurt men if they understood how to not love themself and support the man in what hes doing. Even though this isn’t easy for me. If only…”
“hey I’m not in this relationship anymore. It didnt work because I picked the wrong one and it has nothing to do with anything else and that relationship was always bad and that guy’s a bad person. Maybe if people just understood. if only…”
and accepting that kind of logic while understanding no one may see it my way…
but in the end they don’t have to because they can’t stop me either way.
what do you do when you’re kinda a “boring guy” f.e. I am working to get out of debt…which takes consistent repetitive “boring” daily action. Also I am putting together music which ends up being a lot of time not getting out of the house etc and doing things like hikes, going to concerts, bars, etc. and managing this stuff with mltrs.
what is it when a girl signals “i better not bore her” etc?
this second question lead to this girl excusing herself out of my life eventually but alas I find interesting when things are said that are so generic to me but likely mean something concrete to the woman. Maybe I can catch that pattern quicker next go round.
All I know is thats not a good dynamic…”you better not bore me”
“okay here’s me trying jot to bore you”
her, “im bored, bye.”
Liquorice
Posted at 10:31 am, 24th February 2019The entire notion of having children is now one of the most effective ways to “chain” men in the West, due to the strict legislation.
Men can effectively combat female nature (if they are red pill aware) and the legislative system (if they are well-informed) – doing both at the same time is a very hard challenge.
Aside from the obvious – child alimony and the societal norm to become married when children are involved – having children pushes you in the control zone of the government.
For instance, if you have children, you need a bigger house. You also want to live in a stable neighborhood, which often means your house, garden and other things on your property must adhere to the standards of the local municipality or community.
In many Western countries, it is illegal to homeschool your children and you must send your children to a school in the neighborhood. Crappy neighborhood means garbage schools. Preferably, you avoid government schools altogether and shell out a fortune for private schools.
So, if you care and what the best of your children, you are forced to live in a certain location, and spend an exuberant amount of money on top of the real costs of raising children.
To be able to afford all of this, many men will then be pushed into running the corporate ladder, burning themselves out – tenderized meat for the inevitable divorce rape that is bound to happen in 5-10 years once all attraction is gone.
There are solutions, such as moving to a 3rd world country – which comes with its own fair share of problems and sacrifices.
But in general, there are currently no great solutions that come without making you vulnerable (and thus, losing your alpha edge) or without huge sacrifices.
Summary – I think it is men’s love for children and innate desire to create offspring that is the real ball and chain, as it has been proven that there are effective ways to slay pussy without getting simped.
Don’t give her that baby to be that true alpha man – it’s a trap!
Caleb Jones
Posted at 10:45 am, 24th February 2019Did she stay with him forever? Did the marriage work? Did she stay loyal to him?
To women who enjoy drama or who have really low self-esteems, yes.
I don’t see how that’s relevant to this topic.
Jesus. That would have just made the divorce even worse.
Always entertaining, Maldek.
If the majority fails, it does not work.
No, it was pretty much the same because I looked it up.
Dude, listen to me: If you want to have multiple actual girlfriends, go ahead. You have my permission (since you seem to be asking for it). It’s just not practical in the Western world and it’s not a model I teach. But if you want to attempt it, go right ahead.
Correct. OLTR.
You don’t have to act like a boring guy when you spend time with women.
When I’m not traveling to other countries or having sex with women, my life has always looked “boring” at the outside looking in… I’m just working on my computer in my office downstairs.
Boring or not boring, in the context you’re asking about, is more about how you act, not necessarily how you live (thought I agree not living a boring life is a good idea too; I really, really love my life).
Yes. You need to understand that Maldek’s comments are coming from a guy with a lifestyle and viewpoint that is diametrically opposed to most of the concepts talked about at this blog, so keep that in mind any time you read stuff from him. It’s odd that he even takes the time to read my content.
Duke
Posted at 04:43 pm, 24th February 2019It’s amazing how guys that read this blog just don’t seem to get it. It’s like these are your options, OK? Just pick one. Every option is a shit sandwich, but this one has the least bad taste.
I guess it’s just human nature to want something that works in some way while also being ideal, and socially approved. Tim’s idea of a stable relationship is one that lasts forever with the least amount of effort, which results in a woman that will never leave or cheat on him because he financially supports her. Good luck with that. 90 percent or more of the time you will not know when women will cheat on you. Most of the time when they leave it catches the guy totally off guard, since he thought every thing was fine, but under the surface there was boredom peculating, which ultimately came to a head.
I don’t get the foreign option either. You’re gonna uproot your whole life, and learn a new language and culture just for a woman. Doesn’t sound fun to me. But if it prevents you from becoming a lonely bitter old man, then I guess I understand.
hey hey
Posted at 12:08 am, 25th February 2019Then it will be too late for them to understand how their shitty option can fuck their entire life.
Get a woman from a third world country(and my bet he is looking for a third rate one-in looks, as they are easier to contain, that’s how lazy people think), marry them and force them to stay with financial power…BECAUSE IF YOU ARE EVER UNHAPPY WITH ME BITCH I HOLD ALL THE POWER IN THE WORLD YOU CAN’T GO ANYWHERE!! YOU WILL STAY UNHAPPY IN THIS RELATIONSHIP OR STARVE TO DEATH! EVEN IF I GET WIFE SEX AND WE FIGHT REGULARLY. BITCH. I OWN YOU.
I love these guys who think they can control women with money. You can’t control women, you can only control yourself.
This is what this system is all about, making yourself a better version, happier and more driven…women are just passengers in this and if few want to stick around for very very long then great. If not, great again.
Tim if you feel lonely go out and put in the numbers. Your option will not solve your problem, it will make it worse.
Maldek
Posted at 12:09 am, 25th February 2019“Yes. You need to understand that Maldek’s comments are coming from a guy with a lifestyle and viewpoint that is diametrically opposed to most of the concepts talked about at this blog, so keep that in mind any time you read stuff from him. It’s odd that he even takes the time to read my content.”
Dear BD, I have been reading your content and books since 2009 and did learn a lot from it. My lifestyle is 90% in-line with your 2.0 model in fact. We have far more in common than the small details that seperate us.
Tim
Posted at 03:36 am, 25th February 2019It seems nobody really got what I suggested. I never meant controlling women with money. It’s a mindset. she needs to think she “needs” you. for ex; my wife just told me yesterday her white mocha tastes way better when I just ordered and she cannot get same taste when she ordered herself, although we both order the same way i guess from Starbucks. she was asking me how I’m ordering. she told me how she needs me in her life from coffee to kids, and everything. I actually have no income now since I’m working on my 2.0 business recently quitting my job, and she has full time job so she certainly doesn’t need me financially, but she stays (at least past 2 decades without cheating on me). here comes religion. she probably desired other men, I just don’t know. what stops her has nothing to do with me but her strong faith to God, nothing else.
other parameter i mentioned ; having little or no previous sexual experience. i’m a data guy. i looked at stats and data says girls (as most average girl today) who had more than 5 partners almost guaranteed to cheat on you in marriage. however, the virgin ones have much higher loyalty rates.
Defining “success”, well, very subjective. but sex only,banging so many chicks will not make you long term happy in the long term. just listen what players say. they all become tired of it after some time, and it doesn’t bring any joy to their life any more after some time.
As i said before holding valuable assets long term will make you rich, and happy, including women. he didn’t comment on that but i feel BD agrees, but he just says you can’t do it here in West. i agree, all western women I met were preprogrammed from youth to be independent minded, and they are proud they don’t “feel they need” men. that’s why I suggested looking elsewhere. if you can’t get a job in your city you must move. similarly you can move/travel and get what you want in your women life if you really want. yes, you can get temporary relationships this way easily and if it makes you happy fine, but science says long term relationships make people the most happy, that’s actually the only significant parameter they found in research.
hey hey
Posted at 04:28 am, 25th February 2019But you don’t even get this option. Nobody said fuck countless women forever. Most PUAs are losers from the pick up and onwards. They have no clue how to be with women or how to do relationship management. They run like headless chickens up until the point they throw their hands up and settle down to a pathetic monogamous relationship.
The point here is to build a roster of women and in all of that roster you will have countless options and abundance whenever you want it. Then out of those women one might stand out that will help you settle down as you wish(non-mono). If she ever leaves, she leaves and then on to your roster and fun experiences again.
Your alternative is be with a mediocre at best in looks(shoot me if that’s what you are suggesting) third world woman that has low probability of ever leaving you, because she is so dumb she can’t have a life without you(shoot me if that’s what you are suggesting). Good luck keeping her, because that’s what you are expecting, be with you forever. Whether a virgin or an experienced woman your mono relationship will break down eventually because of boredom(biology trumps culture/SP norms and your woman will leave you or deny sex for long periods eventually-unless she is fat and ugly with little options in which case nobody here is interested in such options).
And no, success is not subjective. But that’s another topic.
jimmy
Posted at 08:54 am, 1st March 2019Some very good comments on this thread. Someone brought up happiness. At the end of the day what makes a man happy? I think most men have not been honest with themselves on this point. I also believe most people have filled their lives with useless shit in the attempt to make themselves happy. Here is my conclusion.
1. Having the physical/sexual attention from a high SMV female. Remember what makes a high SMV female is very different from what makes a high SMV male.
2. Having reproductive success, especially a son who can carry on your name.
Number one by far pleases a man’s DNA.
…and as for the theory that fucking a lot of women makes you happy? I would say no, in fact I can say that it could cause one to be even more depressed since there would be a high probability that many are sub par and will now be stuck in his memory as a regret.
BTW some “3rd world countries” have higher quality women than 1st world countries. Would not recommend bringing them to the U.S. though, except maybe a Muslim which have ingrained femininity and loyalty.
Would like another opinion to my question earlier on this thread!
Anon
Posted at 09:56 am, 1st March 2019Basing your happiness on “having the physical/sexual attention from a high SMV female” makes you live a life of dependence. Same with children. How are you going to make sure it’s a) a son b) who won’t die at age 10 of some unavoidable genetic disease c) who won’t do drugs d) whose life choices will be sufficiently compatible with yours?
You’re very clearly 100% emotional 0% rational on such an important topic.
Jimmy
Posted at 04:49 pm, 1st March 2019“Basing your happiness on “having the physical/sexual attention from a high SMV female” makes you live a life of dependence. Same with children. How are you going to make sure it’s a) a son b) who won’t die at age 10 of some unavoidable genetic disease c) who won’t do drugs d) whose life choices will be sufficiently compatible with yours?
You’re very clearly 100% emotional 0% rational on such an important topic.”
This is 100% Blue pill hamstering. If you want to create a theory on what you should base your happiness on then so be it. Will not get into that. What I want to talk about is physical/DNA reality. Ironically this is the type of hamstering which continues unabated. I think the reason is clear. DNA. In healthy functioning males and females it is hard to suppress. How you run your game and what the physical realities are are 2 separate issues. The sexual market drives almost everything. People hate the fact that the sexual market is such a big driver. This is core red pill.
I have seen the power a 21 year 10 can have in a room full of men. Sure some can control themselves but it does not mean their DNA is not screaming. Stop with the dishonesty.
Jimmy
Posted at 05:54 pm, 1st March 2019It just hit me how blue pill even the PUA community is. Sure they sell themselves as non emotional and taking their lives to a higher level. But at the end of the day this is all driven by the desire to have access to more hot women.
You see it is really just a primal instinct which even the PUA community has to hide so as to justify the time and money they invest into it. It is really pretty hilarious the length people will go to hide the truth about the sexual market and it’s significance. Should not be a surprise though.
I say just be honest, I say just admit that healthy men have a strong desire for hot women. It should be obvious with the amount of money and time men spend on sexual market tactics/strategies.
Just be honest. Nothing wrong with desiring hot women and nothing wrong with learning self control.
Anon
Posted at 06:58 pm, 1st March 2019To begin with, “sexual market” is completely irrelevant to one’s own happiness. Market is by definition what happens between many buyers and many sellers. Who cares what other men think of this woman? Only what you think about her matters!
Yes, it’s necessary (but not sufficient!) for happiness to have all one’s basic needs met, including sexual. But making it the cornerstone of happiness? What if she leaves? What if you grow old and lose interest in sex? What if you get bored of this particular woman? Would it be fulfilling if all that remained was one attractive woman and her attention, no friends, no meaningful activities, no Mission?
Tim
Posted at 03:05 am, 2nd March 2019here my 2 cents on happiness: A happy man is one who is completely outcome independent and someone who doesn’t give a shit to anything. To reach that state he has a vision beyond himself and even beyond this world. He has goals, enjoys the life, and has a life mission but his heart is never attached to any material or physical being. So inevitable separation from young age, loved ones, or unexpected life events like suddenly loosing wealth, health or women for which no one has full control over never bother him or make him unhappy. Because he is well aware that he is here in this temporary stop on this long journey shortly, and in his final permanent destination everything will be perfect. He will regain/meet all he lost so he never bothers if something ever went wrong here.
He keeps this big picture in his mind all the time with complete outcome independence from anything(never gives shit to anything). if bad things hit him unexpectedly damaging his health, wealth or relationships he patiently accepts this temporary pain at this short stop and moves forward still with happy heart, humble and simple to his permanent, perfect and real destination.
if your heart ever attached to any worldly stuff then you are dependent, and slave of that thing, and being happy will be hard. don’t dream or fool yourself you will ever be perfectly happy here. it’s more ups and downs. so enjoy this life as much as you can, give your best to it, be content with what you have, never be sorry for what you lost or separated from you. at the end of the journey all will be good and complete.
Jimmy
Posted at 10:38 am, 2nd March 2019“But making it the cornerstone of happiness? What if she leaves? What if you grow old and lose interest in sex? What if you get bored of this particular woman? Would it be fulfilling if all that remained was one attractive woman and her attention, no friends, no meaningful activities, no Mission?”
Anon, let me spell it out for you. I am NOT saying how one should design their happiness or mission. What I am saying is that you generally cannot trick your physical being, your DNA. It was designed with a purpose.
You take a high SMV women, 21 yo 9-10 and have her pursue a sexual encounter with a man. There will be nothing that man can do to match the experience unless he has lost his vitality. Painting a picture, driving a race car, yada, yada it will not compare. This is what worries you. Sure other things can bring some happiness but not to the degree a robust sexual encounter with a high SMV woman would have. It worries others as well. Yes, it is a little scary to acknowledge
DGAF is good but you don’t control as much as you think when it comes to what your DNA says makes you happy.
Anon
Posted at 03:41 pm, 3rd March 2019If you mean a man’s happiness has to include, among other things, sex with women he finds attractive, then you’re in agreement with this anonymous user, for what it’s worth. You seem, however, to elevate this factor out of proportion, that’s what sounds questionable to me.
hey hey
Posted at 02:46 am, 5th March 2019@Anon: I think he has a point with that but I wouldn’t call it high SMV woman. Because high SMV means what society or others perceive it as such and not just you. If you fuck women that are hot/cute based on your opinion you will be far happier than fucking average women. Filling your roster with average and sub par women(always based on your opinion) will always give a sense of something is missing. It is definitely one the most important factors for long term happiness.
For the kid part I don’t agree with Jimmy as we see left and right(and as BD pointed out many times) that men might satisfy their biological sense for reproduction but that’s only temporary as in the long term it will bring much more unhappiness than happiness. Even if you are that hardcore guy who wants to have kids.
Long term happiness is simply the measure of your long term freedom. If you have financial freedom, location independence freedom, sexual freedom, OI and strong goals and mission then you are going to be far happier than the rest of people. If something decreases your freedom(like having a kid), then it’s going to take away at least a little out of your long term happiness.
I o
Posted at 01:04 pm, 10th March 2019That’s why only strategically mixing beta and alpha (which means, a way or another: pretending) you will get on good terms with her, for a while.
But after all, both reproduction and sexual enjoyment are relatively short-term endeavours, and there’s no other purpose for men and women together than those 2 in nature’s books.
This is by far the most bitter thing I learned in my life.
Chris
Posted at 11:28 am, 15th March 2019“only put the tip in” ? Is that a real thing? Who would accept that?