30 May What Qualifies A Woman for FB, MLTR, or OLTR?
Reading Time – 7 minutes
As you may already know, Alpha Male 2.0 utilizes four distinct types of relationships. They are:
- FBs who are just friends with benefits.
- MLTRs who are women you date and like but you can have many of them at the same time since none of them are your girlfriend.
- OLTR who actually is your girlfriend and to whom you are emotionally exclusive (but you have sex with FBs on the side all you want).
- <optionally> OLTR Wife who is an OLTR you live with full-time.
A question was raised on one of my recent live podcasts where several people were asking about the exact requirements for an OLTR. Unlike with FBs and MLTRs which are very specific and straightforward, requirements for an OLTR are quite different.
I’ll cover the specific requirement for all three relationship types to make this very clear.
The requirements for an FB are:
- She’s physically attractive to you.
- She’s not a bitch to you.
- That’s it.
For FBs, it doesn’t matter how smart or dumb she is, how promiscuous she is, how old she is (as long as she’s legal), if she’s a feminist or not, or any of the other things lots of guys worry about. She’s just a woman you have sex with. She’s not someone you’re dating, so none of this stuff matters.
I’ve had FBs in the past who were drug addicts, idiots, bipolar, and so on. No problem.
Just wear a good condom with these women, please.
MLTRs are different. Unlike FBs, these are women you actually like and are really dating, so there are increased requirements. These are:
- She’s physically attractive to you.
- She’s not a bitch to you.
- She doesn’t have a fucked-up life.
- She doesn’t engage in any behaviors you find completely repulsive.
- That’s it.
Unlike an FB, an MLTR needs to be a “normal” person who won’t bring you down. However, and this is an important point, your MLTR is not a girlfriend. You’re not going to marry her or have kids with her. So she doesn’t have to be anywhere near perfect, which is the beauty of the MLTR.
So if she’s a hardcore heroin addict, she doesn’t qualify for MLTR. But if she doesn’t do any drugs and she’s a nice, attractive girl who is a super woke left-winger and has had sex with 35 men in the past and both her parents are divorced, that’s perfectly fine. Again, she’s not your girlfriend or wife and never will be, so she doesn’t need to be this “perfect woman” a lot of you guys are trying to find.
Now we come to OLTR which is the most complicated part of this discussion. Unlike FBs and MLTRs, an OLTR (you can only have one) is indeed your girlfriend. This is a woman you have long-term expectations for, including, possibly, future cohabitation and even having kids (if you want them).
Therefore, the requirements for OLTR are quite extensive, very unlike our other two categories.
There are two sets of requirements for OLTR and I shall explain both.
The first set of requirements for OLTR is what I call “universal requirements,” meaning they apply to 100% of all women who could be anyone’s OLTR under an Alpha Male 2.0 lifestyle based around long-term, consistent, masculine happiness. As always, if long-term happiness is not a priority to you, feel free to ignore my advice and go get a bitchy, dominant, jealous, high-drama girlfriend like most men do. Otherwise, you need to stick with these universal requirements.
The universal requirements for OLTR are:
- She’s physically attractive to you.
- She’s not a bitch to you.
- She doesn’t have a fucked-up life.
- She doesn’t engage in any behaviors you find completely repulsive.
- She has a low-drama personality. You’ve been dating her as an MLTR for at least six months, she’s survived The Talk, and during the entire time she’s been low-drama and generally great to be with.
- She has a low-jealousy personality. Notice that I didn’t say zero I said low jealousy. Almost all modern-day women are going to be at least a little jealous under these models (thanks, SP!) so a little jealousy is acceptable and to be expected. If she’s constantly bringing up the fact that you see other women, that’s not low jealousy.
- You love her and you know it for sure. If you’re not 100% sure (and a lot of guys aren’t), then she doesn’t qualify for your OLTR. Proper OLTR management is complicated and time-consuming so you don’t want to do it for any woman you don’t absolutely love.
- She loves you and you know that for sure. You know she’s not with you just because you make a lot of money, or because she’s lonely, or because she’s an exhausted single mom who thinks you’d be a good dad for her kids, or because her very religious parents approve of you. She can also like you for these reasons, but you know for 100% sure that the main reason she wants to be with you is she loves you. This takes time to determine, often many months (if not longer) of dating her, close observation, and one or two big conversations.
- On the macro overall, she wants the same things in life that you want. If you want two kids, she also wants two kids. If you don’t ever want any kids, she also doesn’t ever want any kids. If you want to move to Bolivia soon, she wants to move there too or is at least happy doing that. And so on. If she disagrees with you on any big-picture current or future items, she doesn’t qualify for your OLTR no matter how amazing she is (you’re just asking for future problems if you get serious with her).
Once you know she’s matched all of the above universal requirements (and the vast majority of women you date or have sex with will not) then she needs to qualify for a second set of requirements that are unique to you. I call these “personalized requirements,” since every man will have a different set of these.
These are the things you, individually consider mandatory requirements and deal-breakers for any girlfriend or wife (NOT MLTR!). They could be anything because every man is different, but here are a few examples from conversations I’ve had with men. Remember, these are just examples and none of them may apply to you. They’re just there to give you some ideas.
- Maybe you’re very religious so you need her to be the same religion, or at least not an opposing religion (so if you’re a big Christian maybe it’s okay if she’s non-religious but she can’t be an atheist).
- Maybe you’re super political (left or right) so she can’t be in the opposing camp. (I personally don’t give a shit about things like this but I know some of you do.)
- Maybe you live an unusual or extreme lifestyle and want her to love doing the same thing so she can be your partner in crime. Examples can be extreme sports, perpetual traveler, nerdy role-playing games, unusual sexual fetishes, and so on.
- Maybe you’re wealthy so you mandate a minimum income, net worth, or creditworthiness for her.
- Her age; maybe you have a specific age range you want your OLTR or OLTR wife to be (for whatever reason) so she must be in this range or else she doesn’t qualify.
- Her race/nationality/culture; maybe you “must” have your OLTR be a certain race/nationality/culture (and for some of you, it might not be your race!).
You get the idea.
It’s important to not have too many of these personal requirements. Honestly, for Pink Firefly (my OLTR Wife) I only had two little ones. I wanted my future OLTR to have a big ass or big boobs (or both) and I didn’t want her to be over 5’4”/162 cm in height since I’m usually turned on by really small women and usually turned off by taller women.
That was it! (For the record, Pink Firefly has triple-D boobs and she’s 5’3”, so it all worked out.)
Having a gigantic list of must-haves for your future partner is something provider-hunting women over age 33 do, and you can see how miserable doing that makes these people, so don’t do it. Keep the requirements to an absolute minimum.
What you can do, and what I did, is have a separate list of OLTR “would be nice to have” qualities. Your OLTR doesn’t need to have these things, but it would be nice if she had at least some of them.
Items on my “would be nice to have” list for my future OLTR had things like “platinum blonde hair” (PF definitely had that), “has lots of hot girlfriends I can fuck” (she didn’t have that), “has zero debt and a decent amount of money in savings” (she didn’t have that), and “is very hard-working and understands a strong worth ethic” (she definitely had that).
Lastly, I’m going to remind you that if you are under the age of 30 you are not allowed to have an OLTR or any girlfriend of any kind. Read this if you want to know why.
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Question of the Month
Soft Nexting When She Can See Read Receipts
T.R. Writes:
I’ve had to soft next this girl twice now and each time she sends me a text. I’m stuck on whether I should read it or not because she can see if I’ve read it. Should I just completely ignore it and not read it at all? Or should I read it and let her see that I read it without responding?
I’m not sure what your take would be. One perspective is that I shouldn’t read the message so it looks like I’m ignoring her which you say is important during a soft next. On the flip side, I can also see you saying to be outcome-independent and not worry if she sees that I’ve read it without replying and that I can read anything I want as long as I don’t reply.
What’s the best move here?
I don’t know if you’ve addressed this before, maybe because when you came up with the soft next technique everyone was using SMS. But now, with WhatsApp, Telegram, Snapchat, and iMessage, people can see if you’ve read their messages so I bet others in your audience are curious about this too.
You somewhat implied the answer in your questions. And that is, it doesn’t really matter.
The most important thing during a soft next is to not respond. It is not necessarily to ignore. Those are two different things.
Therefore, it’s (technically) not against the rules to read every text she sends you during a soft next, even if she can see those double-blue checkmarks. If you reply to any of those texts, THEN you’re fucking it up.
What I have said is that when you first initiate the soft next and you’re driving away from her, I recommend you don’t listen to any voicemails she leaves you when she calls you and you don’t answer. These voicemails are only going to contain two things: either screaming, ranting threats, or crying and begging and promising that “she’s sorry” or that she’ll “never do that again.” Both of which are useless to listen to will just further upset you, therefore you should just delete them without listening to them.
I consider text messages pretty much the same thing during a soft next. I might look at one or two texts but if it’s just the usual set of threats or begging then I’m not going to read any more. I have better things to do (like other women).
YOU are also a factor. If you think you are the kind of guy who might crack under pressure if she sends you all of these texts and you read them and get emotional, then you shouldn’t read any. If you’re less emotional guy then it might be fine.
Again, it’s about not responding, not ignoring.
Leave your comment below, but be sure to follow the Five Simple Rules.
AlphaOmega
Posted at 06:05 am, 31st May 2024Excellent, very clear, not too long, but at the same time explains everything so I have no questions. This is one of the reasons I like your content.
Will
Posted at 10:51 pm, 6th June 2024Is there a reason why you have such low requirements for an OLTR? I’m talking about you specifically
Seems like you have really big goals, wouldn’t you want someone that could benefit you more than just sex and no drama, like help you get to your goals faster? Not saying your wife doesn’t contribute more to your life than that, which I’m sure she does, but why do you have such low requirements for someone you’ll be committing to?
Caleb Jones
Posted at 07:11 am, 7th June 20241. I listed 9 requirements for an OLTR (which also apply to me) plus my additional requirements. Those are a lot of requirements. Not my idea of “low.”
2. I said in the article, and I quote: Having a gigantic list of must-haves for your future partner is something provider-hunting women over age 33 do, and you can see how miserable doing that makes these people, so don’t do it.
Good Lord, NEVER go into business with your OLTR or work with your OLTR. No, no, no.
Will
Posted at 02:00 pm, 8th June 2024[quote]
1. I listed 9 requirements for an OLTR (which also apply to me) plus my additional requirements. Those are a lot of requirements. Not my idea of “low.”
2. I said in the article, and I quote: Having a gigantic list of must-haves for your future partner is something provider-hunting women over age 33 do, and you can see how miserable doing that makes these people, so don’t do it.
[/quote]
Yeah when I said you had low requirements, I was talking about your personal requirements of having large breasts or ass and being short. I’m not advocating for a long list of irrelevant requirements, if we’re going to commit to someone emotionally and exclusively, wouldn’t you want the most value out of the relationship? In your case, you are working on your health goals, so it would help you if you had someone that knew how to cook healthy food, or is big into fitness and knows a few things.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 09:55 am, 10th June 2024Use blockquote instead of quote if you want to quote. This is wordpress.
No, because A) I don’t care if she knows how to cook healthy, that’s just not a huge priority for me, B) that is a very easily teachable skill you could teach any woman if it was important to you.
That’s already covered by my requirements. She can’t be fat and needs to have a body that looks really good (Pink Firefly is a size zero). “Big into fitness” doesn’t really matter to me if she’s already fit and/or skinny.
Sounds to me like you’re overthinking this.
Mike
Posted at 12:58 pm, 16th June 2024Absolutely do not go into Business with an MTLR or OTLR. This is a HUGE mistake that I made myself. At first, it seems like a great idea. You have a direct, tangible increase in labor, you benefit tremendously from the information that is retained during all of the non-working hours time (For Example, you casually talking about a Business Process over a Dinner Date), and society praises you as a ‘Power Couple’.
One of two inevitable outcomes is going to occur.
1) You’re going to get lazy and cut paid labor in favor of your MLTR or OLTR in hopes of increasing Profit Margin.
2) You’re going to grow your business to a level that is ONLY sustainable with your MLTR or OLTR’s continued input.
There will inevitably be a disagreement, either romantically or in the business, and you will suffer.
You lose the ability to ‘Soft Next’ because the success of your business is now dependent on her input. She shows up late, she refuses to follow your direction, she wants special treatment. You tolerate the bad behavior and this becomes the new standard, both in the business and personally. You can’t ‘Fire Her’ because you’ve made yourself dependent, and now everyone else sees your lower tolerance level.
The only way, in theory, to counter this, would be to have 100% of her input be non-essential work, but, then, at that point, what’s the point? How valuable is non-essential work to a business from someone who has little to no connection or business knowledge? What’s she supposed to do, hand out flyers door to door? Cold-Call leads? You’re better off using a Virtual Assistant or other low paid option to handle these tasks.
She’s better off focusing on her own business ventures, which will eliminate drama and yield a higher income for her.
Caleb is 100% Spot On here — Don’t do it!
The Short Term ~3-6 month increase in Revenue / Profits (if that) will never be worth it.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 08:41 am, 17th June 2024Correct.
Tons of men make that mistake. On the surface it sounds like a good idea but they don’t think it through.
Long
Posted at 07:40 am, 18th June 2024One suggestion. If you want to boost traffic to the blog (like the old BD one with great engagement), maybe stop putting the whole article in the email. I, and probably many others with a busy life, often just read the email content, nod, and move on to the next mail without visiting the site.
Maybe putting half an article, or just leaving the paid question out so people have to visit the blog to read it. That will definitely boost traffic and probably engagement in the comment section!
More hassle for us, sure, but I don’t want you to kill off this blog because of (seemingly) lack of traffic. It has been great so far!
Caleb Jones
Posted at 04:05 pm, 21st June 2024I know this is going to sound confusing to you, but I don’t care about the traffic to the blog. I only care that the articles are read. So if they’re read via email or read via the blog, I’m happy, just as long as they’re read. Soon the same articles will be on LinkedIn and Twitter/X, for the same reason.
The medium isn’t what’s important. The message is.
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 10:09 pm, 22nd June 2024So you don’t care about engagement in the comment section? Why have a comment section at all then?.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 12:19 pm, 24th June 2024Because it’s not a real blog without a comment section.