31 Oct The ONLY Reason You Have A Woman In Your Life
Reading Time – 8 minutes
Why are you dating the current women in your life right now? If you have a girlfriend or wife, why do you have her?
I mean, why are you not single instead?
Why aren’t you with a different woman?
Why her specifically? And why now?
I can already hear your answers…
Because she’s really hot.
Okay, she’s hot. But hundreds of thousands of other women in your local city within a one-hour drive from your home are also “really hot.” So that isn’t the answer.
Because she’s really fun and chill.
That’s great. But again, statistically speaking there are thousands upon thousands of women in your local city who are just as fun and chill as her, if not more so. So that isn’t the answer either.
Because the sex is great. She does all the things I like!
See above. Not the answer.
Because she’s super low-maintenance and I don’t want anything serious right now.
See above. Not the answer.
She’s really hot/chill but no other girl this hot/chill would ever date me, so I have to stick with her.
Jesus God. I really hope I don’t have to explain to you how horrible, beta, pathetic, embarrassing, and oneitisy that reason is. I hope to hell that really isn’t your reason and that you have such a low opinion of yourself. Moreover, it isn’t accurate. Statistically speaking, if one hot girl will fuck you, that means by definition some other hot girls will also. I figured that one out way back in 2007. So not only are you being a pathetic beta male loser with that attitude, but you’re also factually wrong.
Because I’m a needy pussy and I have oneitis.
Well, at least you’re being honest, I’ll give you that. Admitting you have a problem is the first step so that’s good.
But now you have to fix the problem, which means you need to fix your oneitis instead of making excuses for it. This means you need to start having sex with other women hotter than her immediately and either nicely dump her or downgrade her. Oneitis will destroy you if you don’t address it ASAP.
Because I’m lazy and I don’t want to take the time to find a new woman (or women) right now.
See the item above. Stop tolerating chronic unhappiness. Do you think I do that?
Maybe you are arguing that your answers are more deep than the above superficial ones. Maybe your answer is something like…
She’s a really good woman who my mom and dad would be proud of if I married her / have kids with her.
Ohhhhh boy. Beta male alert again. This is a problem. This is directly out of Societal Programming and the Six Societal Values (as I talk about in my primary book, The Unchained Man), specifically social validation, which means you are trying to impress other people instead of doing what YOU want. This will make you happy in the short term and absolutely fucking miserable in the long term.
So if your answer is anything like that, that should be a huge warning red alert that you are traveling down the path of the beta male or the Alpha Male 1.0, neither of which leads to long-term happiness, and you need to re-orient your brain and your life fast.
She’d make a really good mother and I want to have kids someday.
If you want to have kids someday then mother potential should be reason number two, three, or four on the list. It should NEVER, EVER be reason number one, the first thing out of your mouth when I ask why you’re with her. I personally know (and you probably do too) men who are married or living with a woman who is a good mother but who is a dreadful wife or girlfriend. These men are fucking miserable and have horrible relationships/marriages 100% of the time.
Because I’m a devout Christian/Muslim/Jew/Buddhist/<insert other false religion here> and she is also, and it’s important to me.
There are thousands of other women of that same religion in your city besides her, so that’s not the answer.
What I’m trying to get across to you is that the vast majority of men are with the woman/women in their lives for all the wrong reasons. If you’re following the path of Alpha Male 2.0 and long-term consistent masculine happiness in our collapsing world, there is only One Reason that you’re with any particular woman at any particular time. Just one. All the other reasons your dumb societally-brainwashed man brain comes up with either don’t matter at all, are completely irrelevant, or matter somewhat but not nearly as much as the One Reason.
What is this One Reason? It’s very simple.
The One Reason: The net happiness she creates for you consistently is extreme.
I shall explain every part of that statement because there are several pieces to this.
Starting off, it means that she makes you happier being in your life than if she wasn’t in your life.
If she makes you net unhappier in your life than if she wasn’t in your life, then she shouldn’t be in your life. Nothing else matters. It doesn’t matter if she’s hot or smart or fun she is, or if she’s a Christian or loves Trump or gives great blowjobs. Literally thousands of other women in your city can do those things too (and if you don’t think this, then you have hardcore oneitis and you have much bigger problems). So she should be nicely booted out of your life right now, and I mean right now.
If she makes you about the same happy as if she wasn’t in your life at all, then again, she shouldn’t be in your life. This is because women, even low-maintenance FBs, take some effort to maintain. Spending this time and effort for no net gain in happiness is stupid. So she should nicely be booted out of your life as well.
If she makes you more happy being in your life than her not being in your life, this is good, but we’re not done.
Firstly, you need to be 100% honest when you say, “She makes me happy.” When it comes to wives or long-term girlfriends, a lot of men are lying to themselves about this, especially when they’re betas, and especially when the woman is really hot or if they have kids with her. They will say “She makes me happy,” but in reality she makes him unhappy as fuck. Sometimes it’s too emotionally difficult to man up and speak the truth.
Hey, I get it. 20 years ago in my first marriage when I was a beta male it took me some time to get the balls to admit to myself that my wife at the time wasn’t making me more happy… but the point is that I eventually got to the point of brutal honesty about this and took action to fix it, unlike most other men. Again, step one in solving a problem is admitting you have a problem.
So you need to be honest about this and not bullshit yourself.
Secondly, the One Reason doesn’t just say “She makes you happy.” That’s not good enough. It says the net happiness she creates for you consistently is extreme.
Net happiness means the amount of happiness she creates for you minus the work, effort, money, and/or unhappiness she causes you. Like I said, every woman in your life, even low-end FBs, comes with a cost. That cost isn’t just money. It will be time, emotion, effort, and/or energy. And yeah, it can also represent a cost in money if she’s a sugar baby, wife, or long-term girlfriend.
On top of that, in any relationship beyond an FB, you’re going to likely have some unhappiness attached to the relationship. She’ll bitch, complain, and/or argue with you at least a little bit because she’s A) a human and B) a woman biologically wired and societally programmed to want certain things you’re not going to give her (like monogamy, ass-kissing, seeing her more than once a week, etc).
This is acceptable as long as the drama is minimal and you manage it correctly with systems like the Cardinal Rules and Soft Nexting. The point here is that likely she’ll create at least some unhappiness for you sometimes.
This negativity, financial cost, time, effort, emotions, and energy you have to spend or put up with to keep her in your life “deducts” from the happiness she creates for you. Whatever happiness is left over (if there is any) is the net happiness she gives you.
For example, you are married to a wife who is a good mother and is physically attractive but she’s extremely expensive, horribly demanding, argues with you all the time, and almost never has sex with you. So she gives you four “units” of happiness by being a good mom and being hot, but she deducts seven units of happiness, meaning her net happiness generated for you is -3. This is bad, and therefore you should dump her ass as quickly as possible, yes, even if you have to go through a shitty divorce and/or custody battle to do it. In the long term, you’ll be happier.
Here’s another example. You have an OLTR girlfriend who is super hot, fantastic in bed, really chill and fun, loves the shit out of you, never gives you drama, is totally cool with you having sex with other women, and wants all the same things in life you want. However, she’s needy and cries all the time. So she generates 11 units of happiness but deducts three, meaning her net happiness generated for you is eight, which is great. She’s probably a keeper even though she’s not perfect.
Those examples are pretty straightforward. However, there are many examples, perhaps even most real-life situations, where things are a little more complicated.
Let’s say you have you have an MLTR who is very hot and very fun to be with. However, she is constantly bitching and moaning that you haven’t made her your girlfriend yet, demands monogamy all the time, and badmouths you behind your back to all of her friends. She also gets drunk a lot and has constant financial problems, all of which affect you directly to some degree.
So in her case, she has she generates 6 units of happiness for you but deducts 5, meaning her net happiness generated for you is one. That means she creates net happiness for you, so she should stay, right?
Wrong. The One Reason states the net happiness she creates for you consistently is extreme. One isn’t extreme. It’s not anywhere near the eight that the hypothetical OLTR above generates. One net unit of happiness is nice, but it’s not worth all the time, energy, emotions, effort, and possibly money this woman costs you to achieve a measly one point of net happiness.
The business parallel is the guy who has a business that generates a million dollars in year in gross revenue that takes him 60 hours a week to produce, and after all of his expenses, his annual profit is only $80,000. A moron would say, “Hey, that’s good, he makes $80,000 a year…. that’s not bad!” But an intelligent person seeking long-term happiness would observe that all that time, effort, stress, and money to make $80K from friggin’ $1 million isn’t worth it and that guy should shut down that business ASAP and do something else, which he should.
A LOT of men out there, possibly even you, have relationships like this. Sure, there is a net in happiness she produces for you, but the net is pretty small because of all the goddamn work and bullshit she creates for you on are regular basis. There are thousands of other women in your local city who will produce more net happiness for you for much less work, and that’s a fact.
Therefore, this woman should be (nicely) dumped. She’s not worth it because the net happiness she creates for you is not extreme.
There’s one more piece to this. The One Reason states the net happiness she creates for you consistently is extreme.
This means she doesn’t make you net happy sometimes, but all the time, consistently.
For example, sometimes you can have a woman in your life who makes you really, really happy when she’s physically with you but when she’s not with you she complains, gives you drama, or makes demands over texts, which drives you crazy. Then she shows up at your home and she’s wonderful again… until she leaves.
Not good. Move on.
This also applies to women who are great during NRE (the first few months of the relationship) but then are mediocre or even bad after the honeymoon period is over, and you just keep them around because of all the usual guy-rationalizing excuses I listed at the beginning of this article.
None of these examples are consistent net happiness. Those are temporary or inconsistent happiness, which is absolutely not a good enough reason to keep any one woman in your life when there are so many other women you could be with who would make you happy consistently (on the net).
So always remember the One Reason a woman should be with you: the net happiness she creates for you consistently is extreme.
If it isn’t, she needs to go. And she needs to go regardless of your oneitis, lazy, irrational, bullshit excuses, of which you’ll have many.
Move on from her nicely, but move on.
Leave your comment below, but be sure to follow the Five Simple Rules.
Lina
Posted at 02:11 pm, 31st October 2024Tough lesson, would have to drop two out of my three guys.
How realistic is it, you think, to find someone who provides extreme happiness consistently? When you think back or even going through your current women, is that always the case for you?
Topical as ever, thank you caleb for the regular dose of rationality
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 09:07 pm, 31st October 2024Note: If I misunderstood you and you have these standards only for serious girlfriends, then please disregard everything I’m about to say.
I very much disagree, Caleb! In fact, I strongly disagree!
Extreme happiness on a consistent basis should only be reserved for your serious girlfriend. If I’m in love with a woman, it means she is bringing me extreme consistent happiness. That’s an inflexible requirement for a girlfriend – a woman I love. No one should disagree with that. But unless I grossly misunderstood you, you’re talking about all women, not just serious life partners, right?
In that case, come on, you would actually drop a casual fuck buddy – even if the sex is fantastic – if she’s only bringing you decent happiness? That’s insane! The sex is phenomenal, which really is all that matters as far as fuck buddies are concerned. As long as the level of happiness she is bringing me is a net positive, she’s a keeper. On the other hand, if she’s my actual serious girlfriend, then yes, the happiness must be both extreme and consistent. Or else, I’ll just keep her at the MLTR, FWB, or FB level.
I don’t think any woman can even have the opportunity to bring you extreme consistent happiness, unless she’s your life partner and spends an insane amount of time with you. How can a fuck buddy, who only meets me once a week so we can fuck the shit out of each other and then leave, while never hearing from her again unless she texts me again saying she’s horny, possibly bring me extreme consistent happiness, instead of just a decent amount of net happiness?
No offense, Caleb, but unless you mean to reserve this way of thinking exclusively for serious life partners, I think this is cruel. Perfectionism is the worst cruelty human beings can inflict upon one another, and having your expectations set so high, even just for fuck buddies, is extreme perfectionism.
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 09:15 pm, 31st October 2024Lina – Caleb will give you a different answer, but I would advise against dropping those guys, unless one of the two is your serious boyfriend. If he is, and he isn’t bringing you extreme consistent happiness, then he has no business being your boyfriend. Downgrade him to a lower level. But if the two that you’re talking about are both just casual sex partners, and they do it for you, I’d recommend keeping all three.
So I’m curious, who are these guys to you? Are all three of them just casual sex partners, or are you more serious with at least one of them?
LCP
Posted at 05:44 am, 1st November 2024Great post and a nice way to put decision making on women in our lives into a concrete framework. I’ve had to do this myself too. I’ve had girls who gave me a lot of pluses, but after the negatives, the overall net was negative and not worth it. Difficult but had to make the decision to move on from them. In the long term (actually very quickly in the short term too), I ended up happier. Short term / once off pain, long term gain!
Caleb Jones
Posted at 05:32 pm, 1st November 2024It is realistic as long as you start from a larger pool of people you’re dating in order to find that person(s). The Cream of the Crop model I talk about in my books, as opposed to the Screening Model which normal people use.
For serious relationships, yes. PF provided me extreme consistent happiness for almost 10 years straight before we had some hiccups when I moved to Dubai, but that’s a pretty big life change that could easily affect anyone. HBM before that did it for 5.5 years.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 05:33 pm, 1st November 2024These standards are for serious women only; very high-end MLTRs or OLTRs. They don’t apply to anyone else. Read the 2nd sentence in the article: If you have a girlfriend or wife, why do you have her?
Caleb Jones
Posted at 05:34 pm, 1st November 2024I have too. I think these kinds of women and relationships are much more common than men think.
SabrinaK
Posted at 08:55 pm, 6th November 2024Haha what nonsense. You keep a man or a woman in your life because you love them.
How do you even objectively measure “units of happiness” someone brings you? Funny I googled you after a long time.. at least you are consistent haha
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 11:05 pm, 6th November 2024Well, hello Sabrina! We never actually met, as I was banned from the old blog before I had a chance to really cut into you due to your eastern collectivist horseshit! So I’m glad you’re back! My name is Jack, and I will probably be the main agent of your intellectual destruction here! Nice to meet you!
But you don’t love someone who makes you miserable, sad, or horrible every time they walk into a room. The only women I’ve ever loved are those who made me extremely happy on a consistent basis. If you love someone who makes you miserable, then you’re just a masochist.
One of the problems of eastern collectivists, such as yourself, is that they are too left brained and don’t seem inclined towards western style creativity and intuition that is born out of the philosophy and lifestyle of individualism. Happiness isn’t scientifically measured with your left brain, but your right brain makes it unmistakable. Sorry, not sorry.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 06:05 am, 7th November 2024If you disagree with me, next time explain exactly why you disagree, with specific points. Next time you don’t do this, and just say something like “what nonsense,” you will be permanently banned from this blog because that’s a violation of Rule Number Five.
Last warning.
What if the man loves her and she’s bitch to him all the time? Lots of relationships and marriages like this. Love alone can’t be enough.
You don’t. You make your best guess based on the information you have.
SabrinaK
Posted at 02:49 am, 8th November 2024Hmm I said what nonsense – and gave you a specific reason why I disagree – you can’t objectively measure “units” of happiness someone brings you, as you have admitted.
How are you going to enforce banning people by the way? I just need to use different name and email, no? Seems like a weird threat to make for saying “what nonsense”.
Happiness is deeply personal – and its often more to do with you than other people in your life. Love means caring about the other person’s happiness than your own – not constantly measuring how much units of happiness someone brings you and cutting them out of your life if the units are not “high” enough.
Jack – your comments, as always, are amusing – but too long, It will also be very difficult to destroy me intellectually as I don’t care much about what you think or say.
Lina
Posted at 03:52 am, 8th November 2024> These standards are for serious women only; very high-end MLTRs or OLTRs.
Ah, I also misunderstood, I thought all people. I find it easier to apply a high standard to a close partner. Your article is also helpful for FBs or low-end MLTR. It’s easy to fool myself into thinking “well, we are not seriously dating, so I can put up with topic A,B,C” that leaves me with a net negative or barely positive if the sex is good
> So I’m curious, who are these guys to you? Are all three of them just casual sex partners, or are you more serious with at least one of them?
One boyfriend, one MLTR (not following caleb’s model completely, I like a bit more emotional involvement) and 1 FB
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 04:49 am, 8th November 2024But, like I said, if a person makes you miserable, then continuing to love them qualifies you as a masochist. You should probably stop loving people who are obstacles to your happiness, or people who make you suffer, your absurd altruistic societal programming notwithstanding..
Your intellectual destruction at my hands will take place completely independent of your caring or lack of caring about me or my words. Every time you say something stupid, I’ll be there to rip it apart. My writings aren’t necessarily for you, but for those reading who might be brainwashed by you. I will intellectually destroy all of your points, one by one, and my job will NOT be hindered by you ignoring me or your lack of attention to me.
It’s not all about you! It’s about the content, and other people reading!
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 04:54 am, 8th November 2024You consider three short paragraphs to be loo long? I will take your lack of attention span as a point in my favor. Thank you.
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 05:14 am, 8th November 2024Only you can tell me if this is right or wrong in your case, but plenty of people who lead our lifestyle make a distinction which Caleb does not – fuck buddies (FBs) vs. friends with benefits (FWBs). In the sex-positive community, a fuck buddy, or a one night stand, is known as a “tertiary.” A friend with benefits is known as a “secondary.” A serious girlfriend or boyfriend is known as a “primary.” In an open relationship, you’re allowed to have only one primary (as you and the primary are emotionally monogamous always), plus an unlimited number of both tertiaries and secondaries.
A secondary is probably what Caleb would call a “low end MLTR.” Maybe even that violates his model, but the larger poly community disagrees with him and agrees with us (assuming your situation is accurate to what I just described above).
So, would it be fair to say you have one primary, one secondary, and one tertiary?
Here are the definitions translated into mainstream language:
Fuck buddy (tertiary) – A casual acquaintance whom you only meet for sex and never contact again until it is time to schedule another meeting for the purposes of sex.
Friend with Benefits (secondary) – A true and sincere friend whom you also have sex with, either regularly or occasionally, while also doing other platonic activities with (the same as you would with a completely platonic friend). You have no feelings for your friend with benefits beyond friendship and it is not necessary for you to have sex every time you meet (unlike a fuck buddy).
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 05:27 am, 8th November 2024Fool yourself? There is no reason to “fool yourself” about anything. If you’re not seriously dating, then you don’t have to put up with any topics that you don’t like, or, if you do, you can avoid caring about them and just stick to the great sex. No self deception required. 🙂
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 05:29 am, 8th November 2024In other words, you have no respect for a man’s private property and are perfectly fine with trespassing. You coming from an anti-individualist and anti-capitalist eastern tradition, I shouldn’t be surprised. But I’ll say it anyway – Shame on you!
SabrinaK
Posted at 09:07 am, 8th November 2024Your child will never make you extremely consistently happy (in fact they may make you downright miserable sometimes), but you keep them in your life anyway because you love them. Doesn’t make you a masochist, just human.
Same with your family and life partner – you make a choice every day to love them, even if sometimes they make you stressed and “unhappy”.
Dandy Dude
Posted at 03:27 pm, 8th November 2024Funny that I guessed the answer correctly at the start of the article. It’s something I pondered about my current OLTR. She makes me much happiER. Not happy per se — my happiness is my own responsibility. But she greatly enhances the happiness I already feel for being alive. And that more than counterbalances what little negativity she brings to the table (she’s a bit clingy, as feminine women tend to be, but doesn’t do drama, thankfully).
Caleb Jones
Posted at 03:40 pm, 8th November 2024You didn’t say why it was “nonsense,” just one minor point about measurement.
I see you have no experience running a blog, something I’ve been doing for 15 years. IP address bans, keyword bans, table bans, TOR bans, etc. Try testing me and you’ll he how hard it is to get back on here if I ban your ass.
I have only Five Simple Rules for this blog. Plus I also said several years ago that I have very little tolerance for people arguing on this blog who are not in the target audience.
Doesn’t change anything I said in the article.
That is your definition of love, which to me sounds co-dependent and extremely depressing.
Mike
Posted at 06:54 pm, 8th November 2024In response to Jack In the Box:
I’d argue that this principle applies to FBs and MLTRs as well. Remember, we’re looking at a net positive score overall. If an FB provides amazing experiences, and you’re only seeing her for an hour or two once a week, her score would be unlikely to dip into the negative. By sticking to the main guidelines—not over-communicating, not seeing her too often, and avoiding “oneitis”—there’s little she could do to significantly lower her score.
Think about it: if one hour of incredible time together is a +3, she’d really have to go out of her way in the remaining few minutes to cancel that out.
What if she has financial issues?
Doesn’t matter, she’s an FB.
What if she’s got friend drama?
Still doesn’t matter; she’s an FB.
What if she uses substances?
Not relevant here; she’s an FB.
What if she isn’t truthful about where she’s been?
Again, doesn’t matter in this context.
Unless she’s causing major disruptions—like taking something from my place, creating a scene screaming and yelling, or compromising my safety—there’s very little that could turn a positive score into a negative after such a positive experience.
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 04:03 am, 9th November 2024Who the fuck is that?
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 04:15 am, 9th November 2024Did you miss Caleb’s explanation, even in response to me in this comment section, that this position applies only to serious life partners and high end MLTRs? Now you’re radically changing the subject and applying this to people who aren’t relevant in this discussion.
No, not because I love them. But because I CREATED THEM! If I literally biologically create another human being and bring them into this world, then I’m morally and legally responsible for them until they turn 18. It doesn’t matter if they make me happy or not. I made them. Therefore, I’m rightly stuck with them until they come of age. This has literally nothing to do with what we’re talking about.
False! As soon as you become a financially independent adult, you are under no obligation to tolerate family members who are a threat to your happiness.
False. If my life partner makes me miserable, she won’t be my life partner for very long.
I don’t care about “sometimes.” But if they make me miserable on a regular and consistent basis and don’t bring me an extreme amount of happiness, then choosing to love them would make me a masochist.
I know we’re talking passed each other because your brain cannot wrap itself around western style individualism and you have this whole “don’t bring shame upon your ancestors” and “duty to family” eastern programming going on, but that’s all it is – societal programming.
Free your mind!
SabrinaK
Posted at 09:51 am, 10th November 2024haha Jack – I am a US educated Korean now working in Hong Kong – with the way how America is going, I think you guys need to learn some eastern responsibility, duty to family, and work ethic. My European husband agrees with me.
Your life partner and your kids are your family that you choose and who you vow to love “in sickness and in health” forever. By this “consistent happiness” logic, if your wife/husband gets sick or get into an accident, you should absolutely leave/divorce them as being their caretaker will definitely not make you “extremely consistently happy”. What selfish worldview.
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 12:49 pm, 10th November 2024Exactly! I rest my case!
I’d rather die than be a communitarian slave like you!
The only “duty” I have to any family is to my children until they turn 18. I have no “duties” to anyone else. That doesn’t necessarily mean I won’t help a family member when they need it (it depends on the situation), but I certainly have no “duty,” except to my kids.
Ummm…..I’m sure both Caleb and I can stack our work ethic against yours any day.
I’m sure he does. You’re a dominant woman who married a submissive man. I’m sure he worships the ground you walk on and agrees with you about everything that comes out of your mouth out of fear that you’ll dump him otherwise. Besides, European men tend to be more feminine than American men by far. They also tend to be anti-American by nature, so I’m not surprised.
Sure, but whatever I choose, I can also unchoose. It’s called freedom. It’s called Americanism. The only exception are my biological children prior to them turning 18.
WHAT THE FUCK???
What are you talking about? I’m not taking any vows! What is this? The 1950s? This isn’t Hong Kong. Marriage is an obsolete ritual that belongs in the 1400s. It’s done less and less in the West, and in a hundred years, it won’t be done here at all. I will NEVER make any vows or dress up in a Halloween costume in order to humiliate myself in front of an audience. Weddings (and marriages), as far as I’m concerned, are barbaric rituals designed for puritanical societies, like the East.
There will be no “sickness and in health” promises and no “forever” nonsense. I don’t even know who I will be in five years or how I’ll feel about anything, let alone promise anyone eternal submission. That is absolutely insane!
You easterners truly assign no value to freedom. You’re how Americans used to be in the 1800s. Seriously!
That depends. Is the sickness or injury temporary? If so, it might be worth it. Especially when being in an open relationship means I get to sleep with others, even when my life partner is temporarily in a wheelchair or whatever.
But is the injury permanent? So…..she got into a car accident and is now paralyzed from the neck down??? Even if I choose to take care of her, just out of love, I still have no “duty” to do so. I might do it out of love or generosity, but certainly not any fictional “duty.” And even if I do take care of a girlfriend who is now permanently paralyzed from the neck down, especially if she has no one else to help her, she still won’t be my girlfriend anymore. I’ll find another girlfriend, or maybe I’ll just stick to casual sex partners, even if I still won’t abandon her. It all depends on the situation.
But I still have no “duty” to take care of another adult. And I’m not making any vows as if this is the 1607 Massachusetts Bay colony!
.
Thank you! Selfishness is good and probably one of the best compliments you can give me. Without selfishness, you are a slave. Like I said, I’d rather die than be like you. Without selfishness, we are all slaves to a selfish ruling class. Only mass selfishness can lead to our freedom from those who puppeteer the whole world today!
Holy shit! I can’t imagine having all this eastern garbage in my head. I would literally kill myself if I were raised in such a collectivist culture which teaches people that freedom is evil and that selfishness is bad. What Marxist crap! I hope you escape your own programming someday and free yourself of these Asian chains! But you probably won’t. .
SabrinaK
Posted at 08:11 pm, 10th November 2024Poor Jack.
Hong Kong is one of the freeest economies in the world – your mind seems to be so wrapped in east vs west black and white mindset. I suggest you try living or maybe even try traveling to somewhere outside of the United States – if you can afford it, of course.
“in sickness and in health” and “forever” wedding vows is quite western and I have literally never seen any western wedding ceremony that doesn’t have the words “forever”/ “for life”/ “in sickness and in health” etc in wedding vows. I would be there for my husband when he is sick/disabled and I hope he will do the same for me.
You really have never seemed very happy and content in your comments. But good on you leading your proudly selfish lifestyle. Wish you the best.
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 10:05 pm, 10th November 2024Poor Sabrina.
We’re not talking about the economy. Hong Kong is socially totalitarian, especially if it produces people like you.
Considering how culturally authoritarian and anti-individualist you are, you’re not exactly helping me break that stereotype.
So I can be arrested for hate speech? No thank you.
For fuck sake, I never said it doesn’t happen in the West. I said that marriage is more and more of a joke here and, in a hundred years, it won’t exist anymore. Whereas the East is stupidly still beholden to it!
Again, I addressed that already with apparently more nuance than you can handle.
.
I’m happy and content in my lifestyle, which is why I get hostile when that lifestyle is insulted and attacked by some eastern collectivist who thinks everyone would be better off if they dumped westerners like me.
SabrinaK
Posted at 02:24 am, 11th November 2024You clearly said you would leave your life partner if they get a permanent disability and fail to give you extreme consistent happiness. You must have never felt true love (or have been burnt deeply in the past) and I feel sorry for you.
You also refusing to live or even travel to an incredible tax haven because you are worried about “getting arrested for hate speech” is quite tragic. I feel sorry for your close-mindedness (typical Americans). I have lived in many countries and traveled to even more countries, east and west, and it’s a wonderful experience. Try opening up your mind a bit.
Being so hostile and writing extremely long rebuttal over a random lady making fun of your lifestyle screams outcome dependence 🙂 Maybe if you are so happy, you wouldn’t be defending yourself so much!
Ricky Retardo
Posted at 03:22 am, 11th November 2024Jack in the box, your fall back of “love” is delusional. Marriage historically was never about love, it was about duty, obligation, the social contract. Seeing as the institution has been completely bastardized, there’s no actual reason to get married.
Love and romance, courtship for the purposes of marriage, passion, are unequivocally associated with mental illness and infidelity. Bar none.
AM2.0, kitschy and perhaps short sighted as it may be, is the closest thing to a duty based marriage as one can have in 2025. The duty being, make me happy.
Good luck and Godspeed to any man who seems himself as aware, dignified, and driven, in 2025, attempting to pursue a marriage. You will be competing with endless, increasingly invasive and insidious propaganda literally meant to break down social bonds.
Not to go schizo. I have some qualms with Caleb’s work, mainly that it still has the red pill DNA woven through it. That being, if you disagree you’re lost or a pussy.
I’m unsure of how someone would have kids in this model and want to hear from someone who has done it. Because I want kids, but there’s not a single chance I will ever trust anyone enough to lock into a marriage contract, unless it’s in a country where there’s 0 precedent on any level of pre nups and the like getting thrown out.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 04:04 am, 11th November 2024Saying “I don’t like this” is not an argument nor a criticism. You need to be way more specific and use facts to back up whatever point you’re making.
It can be, but that’s not my advice.
If you don’t kids, great, don’t have them. If you do, then either move to a non-Western country where it’s cheap to raise them and/or make a lot of money then have all the kids you want. Both options are fine.
That’s like saying “I am a bit incredulous at the prospect that we launch satellites into space.”
Millions of men all over the world, including the Western world, right now, already have kids with their wives while these men fuck other women and their wives know it. I have spoken with hundreds of these men. (The only problem is most of them don’t want to talk about it publicly, unlike me.)
The odds that she’ll want to fuck a bunch of other men while she’s pregnant are extremely low so you’re worrying about nothing. Ask a few women if you don’t believe that.
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 04:56 am, 11th November 2024NO, I DIDN’T! Where did you read that??? I precisely said that, in all likelihood, I would NOT actually abandon her, but she would no longer be my girlfriend. I’d find another, even while still taking care of her in her disabled state (depending on the situation)!
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 06:06 am, 11th November 2024I could just as easily turn this around on you by saying that if you were truly happy, you wouldn’t be going to obscure portions of the internet in order to make fun of men for leading a masculine lifestyle without regard for your feminine sensibilities.
This is why feminine therapy is useless, and this is a forum for masculine style debate only.
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 07:16 am, 11th November 2024As if not even being able to get my name right weren’t enough, you then proceed to falsely accuse me of wanting marriage DESPITE ME MAKING IT CLEAR IN THIS THREAD THAT I WILL NEVER GET MARRIED AND THINK THAT MARRIAGE BELONGS IN THE DARK AGES!
Huh?
Ok, apparently you missed literally all of my anti-marriage rants and my firm position that marriage should be abolished JUST IN THIS VERY THREAD!
There is no further reason to speak with you until your reading comprehension dramatically improves!
SabrinaK
Posted at 08:32 am, 11th November 2024Hilarious to see Jack going so psycho hahaha. Never seen a “masculine” man who whine and rant as much as you 🙂
How little asset do you have to not care about living in a tax haven when you live in America? America has social freedom? I have never been in a country where people get more offended over and want to sue you over pretty much everything (just like how easy it is to offend you!)
So funny hahahahaha
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 09:26 am, 11th November 2024Once again, you insist on being a feminine therapist instead of a masculine debater. I suspect debate is not where your strengths lie.
If I clearly state that I’m against marriage, and then some guy comes in and says that I’m wrong for wanting to get married, well……false accusations trigger me. I can’t imagine why they wouldn’t. You also said that I stated things which I never stated. Since you’re pretty cooked in this debate, you now switch to personality analysis and feminine therapy. Oh joy!
Clearly we have different definitions of “whining” and “ranting.” Those very subjective concepts are feminine therapy territory, which I have no interest in. But thanks for telling on yourself.
Like I said, I will not sell my soul for extra money so I can live in a conservative culture that I would consider hell, and a place in which I risk criminal prosecution, even just for some of the things I have said on this blog. Again, no thank you.
Good. Let them be offended. I thrive on offending many people myself. It’s part of what makes America so fun.
Lawsuits are fun! Especially if you know what you’re doing. I have never personally suffered as a result of a lawsuit.
You mistake offence for weakness. Picture the nice guy loser who keeps his head down and is not offended by anybody. Such an unattractive weakling stands for nothing and has no passion! I literally can’t believe that you think the opposite of that is a negative.. As in, I literally don’t believe you. This country needs fighters and it has plenty! That’s why we reelected Trump as a symbol of out defiance against the establishment. Maybe if foreign countries were to be a little more offended, they would overthrow their tyrants and establish their own American style freedoms.
“The price of liberty is eternal vigilance” – Thomas Jefferson
But, as an eastern collectivist, I can see why you think such sacred principles of Americanism are nothing but an amusing joke to you!
SabrinaK
Posted at 10:31 pm, 11th November 2024Jack – it is amusing that you think Trump is any different from the “tyrants” you speak of. Trump *is* the establishment and has been for many years, you dumbass.
Your black and white attitude towards East/West is quite pathetic and you honestly need to open your eyes a bit. I have actually lived in America for 7 years and lived in various parts of Asia/Europe for the rest – you will have a more nuanced view of the world if you try getting on a plane.
Both “whine” and “rant” are clearly in the dictionary and you are doing both of them to a T. You are quite irrational and emotional. Not very masculine.
Work on your emotional control and try again!
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 05:33 am, 12th November 2024I can’t picture Trump being in favor of taking children from their parents for “transphobic child abuse” precisely if they REFUSE to mutilate their genitals. I can’t picture Trump allowing all countries to bleed into each other via an open borders regime, thus making a mockery of the concept of separate nations, in the name of “love and compassion.” I can’t picture Trump endorsing the creation of European style hate speech laws, or a social credit system that will close your bank account if you say something “problematic” on social media. I can’t picture Trump endorsing institutionalized racism against Americans of European descent in the name of “equity” wherein many employers will say to white job applicants – “We’re sorry, but we have to higher a person of color.”
Trump is precisely an enemy of all those tyrannical things. But if Camel Bitch would have won, she would have precisely embraced all of the above tyranny!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, that’s why everyone in the establishment hates him, because he’s “one of them.” HAHA! Seriously, stick to your own foreign lane. You are now painfully embarrassing yourself! 🙂
What is it with internationalists constantly trying to get everyone else to become globalists? It’s stupid. IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN! Take that shit to Davos!
Ranting is debatable. But I have never “whined” in my life. I’m merely pointing out how and why you are wrong.
Emotional? Yes. Irrational? No. And I’ll put up my masculinity against yours any day!
Passion does not equal a lack of control. Passion is precisely what prevents an entire country from surrendering to people like you!
SabrinaK
Posted at 10:51 pm, 12th November 2024Pretty much all the “tyrannical things” you speak of pretty much only happens in North America/Western Europe, so not sure what your point is that Trump is not like the “tyrants” outside of America you speak of in your last comment. Trump is just another old, corrupt, money-loving and power-hungry criminal who actually doesn’t believe 80-90% of what he saids – i.e. the same as any other politician in the “establishment”. He does love power though, so he’s quite similar to Xi or Putin that way. It’s hilarious you’re so brainwashed by alt-right you are not able to see your own president for what he is. Both your candidates were crap and you just picked one crap over another.
Your psychotic long comments that boil everything down to simple black-and-white thinking speaks to your irrationality and lack of emotional control.
It’s “hire”, a person of color, not “higher” a person of color. You should know the difference as English is likely the only language you speak.
Lastly, I am not comparing your supposed masculinity to mine (I am a woman, duh). I’m comparing you to the other men who has much more emotional control.
What a shame. I was looking forward to being “intellectually destroyed”, I am just hearing lots and lots of ranting and whining.
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 12:30 am, 13th November 2024Yeah, and since America is literally my only concern, I was comparing him to the Democrat. I didn’t exactly have a third choice.
America has something called the Constitution. Those other countries don’t. Hence, whatever Trump, or anyone else, wants to do that would violate any human rights guarantee would be struck down by the courts as Unconstitutional. Didn’t Xi criminalize the Winnie the Pooh cartoon because of his fragile ego? Here, that would violate the First Amendment. So I’m not worried.
That’s “said,” not “saids.” You should probably learn a little more English to make sure your grammar is correct instead of using words like “saids” that don’t exist!
See? I can nitpick your typos too!
It’s not just Trump. It’s also about who he will surround himself with. I’m already insanely happy about who he chose to be border czar! He will not care if the establishment hates his choices, or the fact that he colors outside the lines. He isn’t in the Washington straightjacket. He’s exactly what America needs right now.
SabrinaK
Posted at 05:15 am, 13th November 2024I thought you promised intellectual destruction of my posts but all I am getting is personal attacks based on absolutely nothing, weird attacks on eastern “collectivism” (in developed Asian countries these “PC” shit you so hate rarely exist and everybody fucks before marriage), refusal to step outside of America due to irrational fear of getting prosecuted, and Trump worshipping.
You are getting quite boring. Your lack of emotional control and in general annoyingness have been flagged by many in this blog and it’s about time you reflect why.
My husband (we’ve been together for almost 8 years now) is too busy making money and fucking me to be writing novels on a random blog. He, unlike you, has great emotional control on shit that doesn’t matter.
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 08:26 am, 13th November 2024Testing, testing.
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 08:30 am, 13th November 2024You’re the one who called me a dumbass earlier! Just so you know, such name calling is prohibited here. You REALLY don’t want to throw stones in that glass house, sweetheart.
I’m simply responding to your smugness. You came on this blog a few days ago making smug attacks, and now you don’t like even a little bit of blowback. Tough shit!
So you deny that individualism is largely a western phenomenon? Do you also deny that your background shaped your collectivist views?
But there is no Free Speech, and whole cartoons can be banned for making fun of the country’s dictator. And don’t even get me started about government control over the internet in your part of the world. Western style freedom is largely confined to the West. I prefer individual freedom above collective culture. Sorry if you can’t understand that.
I never said otherwise. I was simply making nonsense out of your claim that I’m being influenced by the alt right.
Either way, you will never convince me that the East is just as sexually liberated as the West. That assertion is laughable on its face.
Yes, to say that only America has American style Free Speech is somehow “irrational.” Um……..ok. Whatever you say! LMAO!!!!!
I’m not your monkey.
For fuck sake, are you still on that shit? Talk about boring feminine therapy distracting from masculine debate!
Flagged? How do you “flag” anything here?
And oh no! Does this mean I won’t get invited to this blog’s Christmas party this year??? Am I forcing you, or anyone else, to respond to me? Am I forcing anyone to read me? Am I forcing anyone to have anything to do with me at all?
HAHA! I know that in your part of the world, it is tradition to reflect upon the disapproval of your family, your community, and your collectivistic hierarchy for the sake of your ancestors, or whatever horseshit, but here in America, we have a more – not to sound like a scratched bluray – individualistic, and freedom based perspective!
No, it’s NOT time that I reflect on anything (unless I want to). And I’m CERTAINLY NOT going to be told to “reflect” by a woman who (A) has the personality of a dominatrix (how feminine would that be on my part?) and (B) is fundamentally against everything this blog stands for! Maybe it’s time for you to reflect why virtually everyone has always hated YOU on this blog, since you’re the one who comes from a part of the world that values “communitarian input” way more than us “selfish westerners.” Or don’t. It’s up to you. See? I actually respect your virtually non-existent individualism. 🙂
What about you? Are you implying that you have no life? Because at least I’m on a blog whose general philosophy resonates with mine. But you coming here is like a meat eater posting meat recipes on a vegan blog. So I would say, out of the two of us, you’re the more out of place one. But it continues being fun slapping you around like this! Do I make fun of your hobbies?
I think I’ve pinpointed the disagreement. You and I have very different calculations concerning what does, or does not, matter. In any case, YOU invade OUR space with your disagreeable garbage, AND THEN you have the balls to tell ME that I’m the out of place one here! And yet you keep responding. How is that not funny? Make fun of me all you want, I will NEVER stop challenging people like you.
I’ve committed to Caleb that I will follow his five simple rules, so unless he gives me additional guidelines, I will continue doing my thing!
Caleb Jones
Posted at 04:13 pm, 14th November 2024Jack – If you use the email address “fakeemail@something.com” the blog will usually put your comments in the trash and not display them, so don’t use that email.
And no, I didn’t ban you, and if you accuse me of banning you one more time when I didn’t ban you, I will ban you for real. Stop creating work for me. Last warning.
Harrold
Posted at 01:20 am, 7th December 2024It’s amusing how much drama this article stirred up. Just a simple question — are you happier or less happy??? Most people are in denial about their lives, and don’t even think this way. But they should. Thanks to Caleb for making them think.
I came to this same conclusion as a young man with oneitis. She turned out to have terrible negatives that I ignored. She only had a few positives. She wasn’t even good in bed. I had to teach her how to kiss. But she was hot and fun…. occasionally. When she dumped me I was devastated for a few days. Then I woke the fuck up.