19 Dec Types of Sex Drive – Men
This article is the first of a two-part series on different types and levels of sex drive. Today, I’ll talk about men’s sex drive, and in the second part I’ll address women’s sex drive, since there are distinct differences between male and female sexual desire.As always, we need to get our definitions straight first. When I say “sex drive,” I mean how often you want to have physical, sexual intercourse with another human being. I differentiate sex drive from being horny, since “horny” can apply to many things other than sexual intercourse, such as the desire to fantasize, masturbate, watch porn, etc.
-By Caleb Jones
Using those two definitions, is there a real difference between sex drive and horniness?
Yes.
On the male side, I have met men who would rather jerk off to porn than actually have sex with a woman, because they consider having actual sex too much work. This not only applies to anti-sex MGTOWS, but also to normal guys who live with attractive girlfriends. Sex is “too much work” and porn is “easier.”
On the female side, I have had several first/second dates with women over the age of 33 whose ASD was so high that they refused to have sex with me when I tried, but then immediately drove home and masturbated while thinking about me, and texted me that they were doing it, quite excited.Those are examples of horniness, not sex drive (again, using my definitions above).
You may argue that wanting sex but refusing to actually have sex only because of laziness (in the case of men) or ASD (in the case of women) is still “sex drive,” but I disagree. If I want to have sex, and then have it, and you want to have sex, but don’t because you choose not to for non-medical reasons, then I don’t care how horny you are… I wanted sex more than you did; my sex drive is higher than yours even if our horniness levels are about equal. Actions speak louder words, or in this case, thoughts.
I want sex badly enough that I will do it despite the fact that it might take a little more work, and I don’t have ASD because ASD is false Societal Programming and I don’t do that. Therefore, in the above scenario, I have a high sex drive, and you’re just horny.
Perhaps I’m using the wrong words to describe these two different things, but for the time being, I’m going to use sex drive as wanting sex bad enough to take the trouble to have it with another human being, and horniness as just the desire to engage in some kind of sexual activity, regardless of if another human being is involved or not.
Men’s Sex Drive
Our sexual desires are much simpler than women’s (thank god). We want to have sex, and that’s about it. Generally speaking, and there are exceptions to this but they’re only the exceptions, when a man really wants to have sex, that’s what he wants, and that’s about it. In that moment, he really doesn’t worry too much about a “relationship,” having a baby, what his best friend or mom might think, whether or not he’s a “slut” (or I guess “player” would be the more gender-accurate term here), whether or not the girl will end up liking him or not, or any of that other crap that plague women’s minds when they’re horny. Even the quality of the partner doesn’t matter much to most men while in the midst of strong sexual desire.
I’m not saying men never want the above things. Of course beta males often strongly desire a girl-next-door girlfriend whom they can show off to their mom and dad, and of course some Alphas often want to have sex with hot women primarily so they can show them off to their buddies or people on Facebook. And yes, men usually want to have kids once they get old enough. I’m saying none of these desires come into play during the exact moment a man is raging horny and looking to have sex. He’ll worry about all that stuff later. Right now, he just needs to pound someone so he can have an orgasm and then relax.
Indeed, this is the problem that has plagued married couples since the dawn of time: men want to have sex to relax, and women need to relax in order to have sex. It’s the exact damn opposite. During NRE, both participants are so horny for each other that this doesn’t matter, but once NRE is gone, it presents a major problem that has been the cause of millions of cases of infidelity and divorce.
After a hard, stressful day at work, the husband is ready to grab his wife and fuck the crap out of her so he can relax. Yet, she’s had a hard, stressful day at work as well (or a horrible day parenting the kids, or whatever), so she doesn’t feel sexy at all. She’s uptight, a little pissed off, not relaxed at all, and is the furthest thing from wanting to have sex.When he goes to take her shirt off, she slaps him away. Already on edge, he gets upset and starts complaining, then she starts yelling at him, usually issuing the infamous I’m Not Your Hooker Speech, an argument ensues, and he goes away without his sex and without the release his male biology so desperately requires. After this happens a few times, he can’t stand it anymore, starts banging the 26 year-old receptionist at work, then he gets caught, she divorces his ass, and then everyone blames him for the failed marriage. (Ah, monogamy.)
The point is, men’s sex drive is a very simple concept. This makes the sex drive types of men equally simple.
Low Sex Drive Men
This is a very rare category of men, perhaps less than 5% of the male population under age 60. These are men who regularly go weeks, months, or even years without sex and have no mental problem with it at all. They see their buddies talking about sex all the time and don’t understand what the big deal is. They see a blog like this and discard it as being immature or silly. They aren’t horny at all and spend much of their lives wondering what the big fucking deal is about sex.
They range from men who don’t really like sex to men who “kinda” like it somewhat but do it mostly to satisfy their girlfriends or wives.
Low sex drive men often, though not always, have low testosterone levels and thus tend to have a more feminine outlook on life. Many of them even have more feminine, uber-beta demeanors. They tend to be needy, get oneitis very fast, over-analyze everything, and are almost never single. Since opposites attract, they’re usually pair-bonded with high sex drive women who cheat on them often.Low Sex Drive Horny Guys
These are the men I mentioned in the section above. They are really horny guys who believe the process of actually finding a woman to have sex with (in the case of single guys) or taking the trouble to get on top of a woman and pump pumpity pump for 30 minutes (in the case of boyfriends or husbands) is just too much damn work.
However, unlike low sex drive men, low sex drive horny guys are just as horny as any other man. So instead of having sex with women, they have sex with themselves. They tend to be chronic masturbators, masturbating as much as a seventh-grader who’s just gone through puberty. They often have vast libraries of porn of various types and are really into it. Many of them are even addicted to porn and suffer from psychological issues because of this.
Other low sex drive horny guys have wives or girlfriends, but when sex occurs, it’s usually her initiating rather than him. He loves her, but he’d honestly rather jerk off to porn, or perhaps sit comfortably on the couch while getting a blowjob.
Because Western society continues to collapse, and because men are becoming more and more beta, low sex drive horny guys are the fastest growing category of men in the Western world. Every year, more and more MGTOW-minded depressed guys take themselves out of the sexual marketplace and permanently insert their cocks into their computers. One third of Japanese men are already like this; in a few decades the West will be like this as well.
(Oh well. More for me I guess.)
Normal Sex Drive Men
These are typical, normal guys, representing the vast majority of men out there. They’re horny just about every day, but don’t need to actually have sex every day. If they have sex about once a week or two, they’re perfectly satisfied, and don’t really need any more than that unless they’re going through temporary NRE with someone. Of course if sex is offered to them more than once every one or two weeks, they’ll definitely take it (they’re men, after all), but the point is they don’t need it more often than that.
If they need to, they can go 30, 60, even 90 days without sex. They’ll be a little upset about it but still be more or less okay. They’ll miss the sex, and soon they’ll get back to it. A normal sex drive man under the age of 60 usually doesn’t go more than 4-5 months without any sex. He will indeed suffer some dysfunction if he goes too long without sex.
Unlike the other categories listed here, being a normal sex drive man has nothing whatsoever to do with Alpha or beta. You can have a normal sex drive and be either one.
High Sex Drive Men
This is a more rare type of man. These are men with unusually high sex drives. They tend to be men with higher than normal testosterone levels, and/or more dominant or intense personalities. Most of them have personalities on the more masculine edge of the scale, though a few feminine-yet-heterosexual high sex drive men do exist as odd exceptions to the rule (Russell Brand, as an example).Monogamous relationships tend to be very difficult for these men, since they are fundamentally incompatible with them. High sex drive men who have higher drama tolerances tend to be Alpha Male 1.0s with lots of drama in their relationships, due to their serial cheating. High sex drive men who dislike drama tend towards things like A) nonmonogamy, B) perpetual player lifestyles, C) men who stick with just hookers, or D) Alpha Male 2.0. Since opposites attract, often high sex drive men end up in relationships with low sex drive women, where drama and cheating are commonplace.
High sex drive men need sex either every day or several times a week. If they don’t get it, they feel uncomfortable and antsy, almost immediately, until they get laid. They almost never go more than a month or two without having sex (and a even an entire month of no sex is a long time for them and extremely painful for them).
I understand high sex drive men a great deal, since I’m one of them. I didn’t know I was one until I was 30 years old and my wife at the time explained it to me. “I’ve dated guys before you,” she said, “And none of them needed sex as much as you do.” Later, after my divorce and my entry into an Alpha 2.0 dating life, this was confirmed by other women I dated.If they’re not self aware and very careful, life can be very difficult for high sex drive men, since modern day society is not designed for them. (If you think you’re one of these men, you really need to get my book if you haven’t already.)
Sex Addicts
Technically, sex addiction isn’t a type of sex drive, but I wanted to include the category here for the sake of completeness. I’ve already covered sex addiction in detail in this article here. The summary is that sexual addiction is not the natural and human desire for sex, but rather a dysfunctional clinical condition. A high sex drive man craves sex because he loves it and it makes him feel really good. Sex doesn’t feel good to a sex addict at all; he is only having it often to temporarily relieve a pathological, psychological obsession, much like a drug addict.
A man with a normal or high sex drive has sex with someone he finds attractive, and if she’s very unattractive, he’ll pass. However, a sex addict will take off work in the middle of the day, risking his job and his income, to have sex with a disgusting 80 pound crack whore or 350 pound prostitute.
Thankfully, true sex addiction is very rare.
Alrightee! That covers men. In the next part in this series, I’ll cover the different types of sex drives when it comes to women.
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Leave your comment below, but be sure to follow the Five Simple Rules.
POB
Posted at 05:49 am, 19th December 2016This is extremely accurate for us high sex drive bastards!
The sad part is, as you’ve cleverly said, society automatically puts us in the “evil” category just because we’re trying to be ourselves. Not that I care, but it’s a real trick to navigate through the anti-sex BS everybody throws at us (other men included).
On the other hand, I’ve never had any complaints in my relationships about not being masculine or dominant enough when we hit the sack. Usually they come craving for more, even after they next me to have more “security”, because other guys are too lazy and don’t engage them with my entusiasm, LOL.
Looking forward to part 02!
JB
Posted at 05:55 am, 19th December 2016I think it’s very important for men to understand which category they are in. I always knew that I was a “horny” guy, but after learning game (and getting introduced to non-monogamy), I rarely even masturbate anymore because I’d rather just go have sex with a MLTR. What I think is important to note is that horny low sex-drive guys might be that way due to lack of game or lack of confidence. They want to have sex, but the whole process of getting an attractive woman in bed seems so unfamiliar that they consider it almost impossible.
However, I think that going long periods of time without sex (>30 days) for any man is somewhat damaging for his mental and physical health (from drop in testosterone levels). All guys I know who are frequently going without sex have some severe self-esteem or confidence issues (Can’t bed women because of low confidence –> Gets lower confidence because they can’t bed women).
Good thing that I rarely go for a week without sex, unless we are talking rare circumstances such as business travel. Thanks BD!
Kurt
Posted at 06:23 am, 19th December 2016Everyone’s different I guess. I always hear about ‘high’ sex drive being several times a week or every day. When I was 20 and in college my gf and I would screw 3x/day minimum, and if we had vacation time and no obligations we could easily spend the whole day fucking each other’s brains out, breaking only for food and showers (which of course lead to more sex).
Now I’m 47 and I have for a while assumed that I had slowed down too much to ever desire to or be capable of that again. I’m just a 3-7x a week guy now, cuz I’m old. Not true! I’ve been able to, on two occasions over the last few years, actually get enough time out of my busy work life and coordinate it with time out of a woman’s busy life and take a sex vacation where we basically returned to being 20-yr olds again and screwed all day. Damn I forgot how much fun it is to not have a care in the world beyond plunging my cock endlessly into hot pussy!
So I think much of ‘sex drive’ may have to do with mental state and degree of distracting priorities vs. innate biology.
Tony
Posted at 06:30 am, 19th December 2016I don’t understand why a guy would masturbate when he could have sex instead. To me masturbation is when having sex isn’t possible or practical, I guess other guys don’t view it the same way. At first I disagreed with your definition of sex drive, but in this case I would agree with you. However, I don’t think the ASD example is in the same category, since in this case there is a practical concern for the women (they don’t want to be a slut), even if it’s irrational.
Eugene
Posted at 06:32 am, 19th December 2016BD – one part about that confused me :
I know that opposites attract as far personalities go – so if you’re a more masculine guy, you’re attracted to a more feminine woman, and vice versa. Seen this in my own life, same as you.
But why would a high sex drive guy be attracted to a low sex drive woman? Hasn’t been the case for me personally and not sure if I’ve seen it, so I’m curious what led you to that.
giulio
Posted at 06:53 am, 19th December 2016I think I have high sex drive, I usually have sex 3-4 times a week, but it also depends on the moment. there are periods where I want to have sex with everyone everyday and periods where I am not very horny (not even with porn).
My OLTR has a very high sex drive, she would like to have sex with me all the time, even twice a day and sometimes I have to find excuses to reject her (like girls do lol).
is that common? I feel a little bit inadequate
Gil Galad
Posted at 06:56 am, 19th December 2016Going without sex for multiple weeks causes a rise in testosterone, not a drop. Which makes sense: the body knows it’s on a dry spell so it gets more aggressive, hence the reason some fighters/boxers use periodic abstention to their advantage.
Not to say that abstention isn’t damaging, it definitely is on the long term.
Alexander
Posted at 07:48 am, 19th December 2016I can definitely relate to the 30 days feels like forever part. I used to think I was a sex addict because nobody seemed to want sex as much as I did. Kinda funny looking back that I compromised that I must have been addicted to orgasms haha.
Sometimes I envy low sex drive guys…
DD
Posted at 08:06 am, 19th December 2016https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxfaqT14PwE
hehe
Erik Williams
Posted at 09:32 am, 19th December 2016Based on BD’s classification I’m high sex drive. Didn’t realize that. I thought all men felt that way, guess we’re exception.
I always realized that if I’m banging 3-4 women a week there must be guys getting nothing. Now I know many of them are OK with that 😉
Caleb Jones
Posted at 10:43 am, 19th December 2016That is correct, but only with non-long-term relationships. Once you get past NRE and/or well past the three year mark, you will indeed get some pushback from a woman, not because the sex is bad, but because you want it too often. Unless you get an exception to the rule of course; my last OLTRish relationship was with a woman whose sex drive was just as high as mine so I didn’t have that particular problem, but she was an exception to the rule; very few women are like that.
Yes! Most men have no idea what category they’re in. It was very helpful once I understood where I was.
Yes, that is factually true, as I described here. That’s why I was careful to say that lower sex drive guys can go without sex for a while without any (or as many) clear mental symptoms. Indeed they will experience physiological symptoms regardless of what their sex drive is.
Yes, I generally agree but not 100%.
That’s NRE, not sex drive, as I indicated in the article. But I get your point.
Ah yes… but wait until I talk about female sex drive… you’re jumping ahead…
I see it happen all the time; high sex drive people (men or women) getting into serious relationships with lower sex drive people (men or women). Sex drive is (usually) directly tied to other personality traits. If your sex drive is 10 and her sex drive is 3 or 4, the odds are that there will be other personality traits that she will have that you do not have, that will attract you because of the opposites attract aspect.
It’s also true that if your sex drive is 10 and her sex drive is 10, you can be attracted because of that similarity alone. That’s certainly happened to me more than once. But more often, opposites attract, not similars.
I’ll have to write an article about the opposites attract aspect. It’s not as simple as it sounds.
That’s normal, but you have a baseline that is usually your “regular” sex drive. That’s what I’m talking about.
I’m high sex drive beyond belief, but there are unusual times where I’m either engrossed in a really important and enjoyable work project, or I’m traveling internationally, where my sex drive doesn’t really kick in at all (until later). But again, this is the exception to my rule.
Yeah, it happens. Just remind her that she’s free to fuck other guys if you’re ever not in the mood. (The beauty of OLTR / MLTR.)
So do I.
I hope that in the future they can invent a switch so we can just shut it off for a while, so you can get some fucking work done. (One of the downsides of my TRT is that it increased my already high sex drive even more. Yikes. I didn’t need that.)
That’s exactly the problem. If you’re not self-aware, you’re going to assume that all men are like you, and then get confused when women treat you differently.
That pretty much describes my entire 20s.
Yep, many are. Go to Japan and you’ll see this shit first hand. 🙂
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 12:18 pm, 19th December 2016I’m a high sex drive man, but not as high as you, BD. But my girlfriend is essentially a female version of you in the sex drive department. It’s hard for me to go without sex for two weeks, but if she doesn’t fuck anyone for four or five days, she starts feeling very out of sorts (sometimes even ill). If she spends a week or week and a half without sex, she starts going seriously crazy and must masturbate to porn at least (on the rare occasion she’s actually celibate for that long).
In addition to me, her male FBs, and her lesbian FB, she has a vast collection of porn which she watches (without necessarily masturbating to it) at least twice per day (once in the morning and once at night) or more often if she’s having sex with someone while watching it (or just letting it play at the same time).
I’d call her a sex addict, but she’s not, since she loves every second of it and will only fuck a guy she considers hot and alpha.
She’s probably the only woman I’ve been with whom I can’t always keep up with in the sex department. And once again, I’m a very high sex drive man who has cheated on everyone of his girlfriends (except two) back in my monogamy days (although most of them cheated on me as well).
But I disagree with you on the whole “opposites attract” thing man. As a high sex drive man, the last thing I can tolerate is some kind of low drive monogamous/Disney prude. My girlfriend is actually the perfect type of woman for me, with a sex drive even higher than mine.
I’ve realized that the type of woman who makes me the happiest is essentially a gay man in a woman’s body. Because I’m straight, I need her to be as feminine as possible in terms of her physical appearance (which my girl is), and she obviously has to be a natural woman born with a vagina (which my girl is – no trannies!), but as “masculine” as possible when it comes to her attitude towards sex and sexuality. This is what I found within the poly community. And the fact that women like her exist (although they’re rare) makes me insanely happy!
I’m more masculine then her, as she still has her feminine moments and “girly” female quirks (she has an obsession with pink nail polish, pink clothing, and the color pink in general – and she’s Wiccan and New Agey), but when it comes to sex, she definitely thinks like a man and has the sex drive of a high sex drive (gay) man (much to my delight)! 🙂
Caleb Jones
Posted at 12:46 pm, 19th December 2016Correct, but that means there are other traits you desire in a woman that are more opposite to you.
Imagine a woman who was JUST like you in literally EVERY way, except she was a girl. Would that be someone you’d be in a long-term, serious relationship with? Not want to fuck, but in a serious relationship with. I strongly doubt it.
Again, I’ll write an article about this topic to make my position more clear. As I said, it’s a little complicated and not as simple as “opposites attract.”
Bulma78
Posted at 01:19 pm, 19th December 2016I would be very interested in reading an article about that – I am looking forward to it very much!
Alejo
Posted at 01:21 pm, 19th December 2016Fuck yeah!!! (I just discovered I reallly love myself) 🙂
Harry Flashman
Posted at 01:22 pm, 19th December 2016BD, fantastic article! It took me a very long time and a lot of pain to realize I am a high sex drive guy. I was accused several times of being a “sex addict” by significant others, even when completely monogamous and faithful. I’m in my mid-forties and have sex at least 7x per week. I know what you mean about “shutting it off”. That would be nice sometimes.
This caused huge issues in my former marriage, as I was married to a lower sex drive woman. I thought that sex each night when we went to bed was normal and reasonable. That’s what married couples do, right? She was more of a 30 mins, once per week woman. I didn’t realize it was even possible to find a similar partner, until I did.
And when I did, it was mind blowing. I second the sex all weekend thing. We could literally have 5-7 separate sex sessions in 24 hrs. I indulged…to put it mildly. And she was an excellent instructor. She literally re-taught me how to have sex. After we split, I still hadn’t adequately learned my lesson and attempted to date “normal” girls. Big mistake. We made each other miserable. I even briefly dated a truly low sex drive girl and after realizing it, ended the relationship.
In ten years, I’ve only had one ultra-high sex drive woman with whom I couldn’t keep up each day, a former Olympic athlete and current fitness instructor. She was utterly amazing in bed, and a sweet girl as well. My current girlfriend is not quite at my sex drive level, but very close. Her being younger helps a lot, and keeps me happily interested and satisfied. So much to learn here. Well done, sir!
Flashy
Harry Flashman
Posted at 01:40 pm, 19th December 2016PS…I know what you mean regarding the low sex drive horny guy. I had a buddy just like that. Those guys, I don’t get at all. He was successful and good looking, had a seriously hot and very horny gf. But he’d prefer to lay around smoking weed and watching porn. I never could grasp that. He was literally too lazy to walk upstairs to have sex with this gorgeous blonde. Needless to say, she didn’t stay around very long.
JB
Posted at 02:47 pm, 19th December 2016While I am very aware of this (completely insane) trend in Japan where 1/3 of the male population (and, as far as I understand, a large portion of the female population as well) prefers no sexual activity with other humans (Pillow waifus instead?), I hardly think that these people can really prefer this lifestyle. Don’t you think that we’re generally talking guys who have completely fallen off the social ladder and thus excuses their behavior by fucking their pillows while watching hentai? Can 1/3 of a male population really be truly asexual? For a lot of them, we’re not just talking sex, we’re talking complete withdrawal from the social sphere. I can seriously not imagine that they don’t have an inner (at least biological!) desire to go out and put their cock in a woman.
Back in my beta days, I didn’t have a lot of sex, but I sure as hell wanted to! I truly doubt that so many people can suddenly come to terms with no sexual life “overnight”. The way I see it, there are two possiblities: 1) The “excuse” is now socially acceptable, and thus the “losers” can now simply claim to be asexual or 2) People in Japan have actually felt this way for a long time, but have had sex anyways “because society demanded it”.
Either way, I’m confused as hell as to how and why (from a biological perspective). If us white males have to do our deed to fill in for some of the Asian guys (without child support), I’ll be glad to spread some of my genes to the eastern lands.
Eddie
Posted at 02:56 pm, 19th December 2016OK.. BD, excellent article as usual but leaves a ton of things un-addressed.
Grouping/categorizes sex drives can be a complicated thing and here’s why.
Things that must be taken into account, that you haven’t addressed are:
1st: Age Groups… in our teens, we’re more hornier and sex driven than in our twenties, in our twenties we’re more hornier and sex driven than in our thirties and so forth… (menopause- women lose the sex drive all together).
2nd: Ethnic Groups… race matters. There are tons of studies that show, for example African American males naturally have higher testosterone levels than say their counterparts Anglo-American males. The same holds true for the feminine gender as well. That said, I know I’m getting into stereotypes here but the sexual hierarchy holds some credence in the aged old standard that Black men are better in the sack, followed by Latinos, Whites and then Asians at the bottom. Testosterone being the key ingredient.
3rd: Drugs … with all the drugs (prescription and non-prescription) people are taking, for all kinds of conditions and reasons, consideration must be taken with regards to how said drugs, impacts and changes the biochemistry of the brain and the physical aspects of the sex drive and organs.
4th: Religion… I know you didn’t mean to neglect this but the impact religion has on people, from sin, guilt and suppression to name a few… profoundly affects their brain wiring and biology. Again, as I’m sure you are aware, there are plenty of studies that show the brain scans of how religion changes a person’s brain and thus their biology.
5th: Health… hate to be so blunt, studies show that fat guys carry more estrogen in their bodies due to being overweight/obese, thus making them less horny and sex driven. The same holds true for their overweight/obese female counterparts.
These are just a few… again great article but much is left to be desired… my suggestion is to add an addendum addressing these issues, which would go a long way to making this post more comprehensive.
Can’t wait to read part 2.
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 03:43 pm, 19th December 2016Yep. It’s both a shaming mechanism (from SP and ASD) and an excuse for women to get out of sex during a post-three-year monogamous relationship, which is when they don’t want it anymore (from you at least).
As I said in the article, they are not asexual. They are highly sexual. They simply prefer their computers and their right hand rather than the work involved in getting a female body instead.
Haha I would too, as long as they had big boobs. 🙂 The pure irony of this is that this would absolutely horrify the Japanese, who are some of the most racist and race-centric people on Earth.
I suspect many older Japanese would rather see the Japanese race eventually die out than intermix with us impure white barbarians.
Incorrect. Testosterone declines as men age, making them less sexually aggressive, that’s very true. Regardless, men are horny bastards all the way into their older years. As I said, as they get older, sex becomes too much trouble, so they have less of it, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t sexual anymore.
Most of my business work is with men over the age of 50 and 60, and holy shit, trust me, old men are just as horny (per my definition in the article above) as men in their early 20s. Often they’re even worse.
True. Off-topic for this article though.
True. Again, it’s a huge topic and off-topic for this article.
Incorrect. Having less sex only because your religion tells you it’s wrong is different than not wanting the sex in the first place.
What I said above about testosterone. Fat guys are still horny, but yes, they are less sexually aggressive due to increased estrogen and decreased T.
Most of those items are completely separate topics that deserve their own articles, and many of those articles I’ve already written. Check the archive.
Tug Speedman
Posted at 03:58 pm, 19th December 2016After a relationship with quite possibly the craziest woman alive (phone getting hacked well after I dumped her for drama, Facebook stalking, would hack phone and contact women in my contacts list and cause sit there) I decided to do a MGTOW. For basically two years I didn’t have a single date or get laid, I played video games way too much and wasn’t motivated at all to actually find a good job.
2 months ago, decided to snap out of it started brushing up on my game and going out, got laid (feel sorry for her it was basically like my first time all over again) started dating, started getting laid more, and I could feel a change mentally. I was much more focused and motivated, I don’t even play video games anymore after playing them at least 20 hours a week, I’m motivated to actually look for a real job (I’m currently in the restaurant industry as a server/manager), I started working out again. It’s actually amazing to feel a transformation from 2 years of a low/zero sex drive to just a couple months of an increasing sex drive and how much more motivated I am in all parts of my life
KryptoKate
Posted at 04:55 pm, 19th December 2016In my experience, the biggest variation between high sex-drive and medium or low-sex drive men is simply energy level. The men with high sex drives are also the ones with lots of energy for everything…working out, really striving at work, etc. I can very easily correlate the ones who were most energetic about actually having sex, often, with the same ones who were also most likely to exercise hard, and to be really driven and competitive at work.
Other guys are much more lazy (if you want to put a negative spin on it) or energy-efficient (if you want to put a positive spin).
I have not noticed huge variations between guys in how “interested” they are in sex generally or how much they like or want orgasms, but there are enormous differences in natural energy levels and how much they have to expend. I think about a guy I knew who had the most gorgeous young, willing girlfriend and they only had sex about twice a year though he jerked off every day. But he was also the type that you could not have paid good money to exercise or to do more than the bare minimum at work or even to (practically) leave the house.
This is also really obvious to anyone who has ever experimented with either illegal or prescription drugs. The ones that increase your energy also significantly increase your sex drive and vice versa. Interestingly, this is not true with other things like food, since stimulants will increase your sex drive but lower your drive to eat. I think that basically if you have extra energy, your body perceives that you must be well-fed and healthy and therefore it’s time to devote energy to reproducing. And if you don’t have extra energy, which lots of guys don’t, then your body won’t want to devote that time, even though it still thinks orgasms feel good.
From a woman’s perspective, a medium-drive guy is probably more of a problem than either a super low-drive or a high-drive guy. A low-drive guy won’t be asking or bothering her for sex at all so she can either just not have it or get it elsewhere (from another person or from herself). Not ideal but not a terrible situation for many women. And a a high-drive guy will want it all the time, but he will also be willing to do all, or almost all, of the work. The worst, though, is the guy who wants it enough to whine and complain about not getting it, but doesn’t want it enough to actually make any real efforts or to do the work, and instead he complains about her not initiating, wants her to be on top, etc. Women definitely hate that, of course.
I would expect that the people in the lazy-but-entitled category would continue to rise, since our media and entertainment provides people with payoffs without the effort, and they start to think that what they see is what’s normal and expected, without having to get off the couch. I would bet that prior to 100 years ago, when there was no such thing as entertainment in your own house, let alone thousands of high quality virtually-free entertainment options with zero effort other than swiping a finger and total viewing privacy, probably almost all men had high sex-drive. So long as they weren’t too physically exhausted from working in the mine/in the fields all day.
Leon
Posted at 07:21 pm, 19th December 2016Quality post. Look forward impatiently to the part 2
I think about sex every day, easily get boners when casually touching an attractive girl. If I go more than 2 weeks without some intercourse it feels really distracting and unsettle, unless I release in some way. However, I don’t need sex every day, 2-3 times per week feels ok and I have passed some easy lay with average FBs then jerk off later due to laziness. Am I a high sex-drive guy or just a normal horny one?
BTW will you switch category when you age and your T-level drop, like from high to low sex-drive?
CTV
Posted at 01:08 am, 20th December 2016WOW! I can see where a high sex drive guy who isn’t succeeding with women/ getting turned down consistently CAN DEFINITELY lead to a severe depression and/or suicidal thoughts.
Gil Galad
Posted at 01:37 am, 20th December 2016@Kryptokate: I felt my balls shrinking from reading this, does that even exist ?
I agree with the point about energy levels, but I think it varies even in the same person. Personally, depending on how well I’m sleeping I can swing from “horny and low sex drive” (when overworked and sleep deprived, I can just squeeze in a sex session for the road and go without for weeks; I’ll still be vaguely horny no matter how tired but not feeling a real urge) to wanting to hit on and fuck every girl in sight.
There’s another thing I’ve noticed which I wonder if other men experience: though I always want to fuck, my perception of “pussy” strongly depends on which phase I’m in: when in a low sex drive phase, I just want to cum and eating pussy grosses me out – giving pleasure feels like a chore; when in the high sex drive phase, pussy looks more interesting than any food and I’m *almost* more interested in stuffing my face there than in having intercourse (think Louis CK saying “I’ll drink the blood, let’s party”). Who knows, maybe women have something similar in their percetion of cocks, lol.
The degree of sexual satisfaction also plays a part. When the urge is strong, I might even fuck a 5; but when sexually satisfied, I fantasize somewhat less about just big butts and boobs and my mind turns toward slender blue-eyed blondes with youthful faces. Obviously there’s a lot of evopsych to unpack in there.
@CTV: women too. I can’t remember where I read about the girl who was literally crying because she hadn’t had sex in seven days.
POB
Posted at 07:16 am, 20th December 2016In my opinion you’re correct (at least for us high sex drive men). I guess it must be a very delicate balance between cortisol an testo.
When I’m stressed and super busy I can flat-out reject pussy. I also don’t feel like doing shit…except to put my cock in and cum as fast as I can.
But when I’m rested and well fed, holy shit, give me any 6-7 and I’ll lick her pussy until she cums 3-4 times and then fuck her brains out!
maldek
Posted at 10:32 am, 20th December 2016@Kate
Nice comment. Very interesting to have a womens view explained in such detail.
“in natural energy levels and how much they have to expend.”
The old taoist masters say that sex (no condoms involved) is an energy transfer from the male to the female. Thus a woman who has a lot of sex with high energy males (most often young studs) does age much slower/better.
“her not initiating, wants her to be on top, etc. Women definitely hate that, of course.”
If her man does not get motivated by her looks it should give a strong feedback where the problem is. Speaking from myself i would act like the guy you describe under 2 conditions:
a) I have had more sex than i want. Like i want it 2-3/week and she wants it every day. Sooner or later comes the point where my motivation will start to drop. No matter how hot she is. For low sex-drive males with high-sex-drive gf this must be a real problem.
b) She does not look hot enough for my taste. I am used to quality as in 7-8-9. If for some reason I would find myself in the middle of nowhere and the best this shitty place has to offer is a 5…well I would need lots of external motivation to even go talk to her. Even less game her. Even less show her a 2 hour masterpiece of tantric sex. Not going to happen. Even after 2 weeks or 3 without sex I wouldnt be too ecstatic about her. If on the other hand a 9 would arrive, I can imagine my energy levels getting a boost to the moon in a heartbeat.
This b) may be a problem for many more men as it seems at first glance. A big number of guys are used to *VIRTUAL QUALITY* like top notch girls they see in porn or internt. The mind is not so good in keeping fact and fiction seperate when it comes to porn. And then comes their modest gf.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 02:11 pm, 20th December 2016Haha. Yep, that’s MGTOW.
I would have jumped off a cliff if I had to do that for two years. Hell, for two months.
Makes a lot of sense. I don’t think I disagree.
Yes. That.
I’m running into more and more men like this. Very odd. (At least to me.)
That’s interesting. I’m not sure if that’s right or not; it could be. That certainly applies to me, but I’m not sure if most or all high sex drive men do more “work” during sex or go out of their way to make a woman feel good during sex, more so than a medium guy.
But again, I’ve never fucked a man, so you would know about this better than I would. It certainly makes a lot of sense though, yes. Perhaps high sex drive men are indeed harder “workers” during sex.
Perhaps, but this only applies to short or medium term relationships. This does not apply to long-term ones. I don’t think you’ve ever had one of those.
When a woman has been with a guy way past three years, indeed having him be a high sex drive guy is hugely bothersome to her, and she doesn’t care at that point if he does most or all of the “work.” She’ll just be irritated as hell that he’s bothering her all the time. She will be wishing he was “like normal guys.”
Just imagine this: a high sex drive guy pestering you for sex every day, years later, long after you’ve gotten bored with him. How hard he works during sex won’t matter to you at all; you’re just going to be irritated as fuck. Cue the drama and arguments.
Normal, or maybe between normal and high.
Eventually, yes. I know old men who are still very horny, but who don’t take the trouble to go out and have sex like they used to, because of lower T. It’s very normal.
It’s one of the reasons I say that long-term monogamy can actually work if both people are over the age 60. Their sex drives have both dropped so much that sex becomes far less of an issue in the relationship, thus making the odds of the monogamous relationship working actually increase a little.
KryptoKate
Posted at 05:04 pm, 20th December 2016The high sex-drive guys definitely “work” harder during sex and it’s a big difference. I can remember one boyfriend from college where we would get in arguments about who would be on top because neither of us wanted to do the work.
It was not until I was 30 that I was ever even with a guy who would put in a lot of work because he had more energy or his ego was more tied up in it or whatever. But those guys were also very different in personality and energy though…just more aggressive and energetic and competitive and “hard driving” in general. 😉 I would be interested to hear what other women think because to me it’s THE biggest difference, actually. It’s not like sex is really complicated or there are that many different things to do, so differences are not so much in technique but in effort. There’s a big difference between someone who enjoys doing the work and someone who just enjoys the payoff. Kind of like how some people would exercise no matter what because it makes them feel good and they have the energy, while others hate it and just want their body to look good and will do the minimal amount they can get away with.
I’m not trying to be critical on this, so no ball-shrinking necessary…I can be pretty lazy myself. I don’t think I’m even capable of being aroused unless I’m well-rested, actually. Having the energy makes a huge difference.
And Gil, same applies on the oral sex thing. When well-rested and really horny it’s something that seems really appealing and a huge turn-on, and when not it can vary between seeming like a chore and actively disgusting. Moral of the story…get your sleep! 🙂
Caleb Jones
Posted at 07:52 pm, 20th December 2016That is so disgusting. I need to be on top so badly that, at times, I actually have trouble staying sexually aroused if I’m on the bottom. I need to be on top. Top is so gooooooood.
As a matter of fact, there’s been a handful of times I’ve had the opposite problem as you; where I was arguing with a more dominant woman about who was going to be on the top, since we both wanted it.
Yeah, that makes perfect sense. For years I’ve heard women complain about that; how guys are lazy during sex and just want to cum, flop over, and be done. As you said, that’s the norm with men.
This is one of the reasons for one of the cardinal nonmonogamous relationship rules: always make her cum, every time you have sex, period. So few other men actually take the time to do this; it instantly sets you apart in so many ways.
JB
Posted at 02:08 am, 21st December 2016Even as a 26 year old, I can attest to this. Even guys my age won’t put in the time or the effort. You can easily get girls to latch onto you just for standing out sexually.
As one of the only 26 year old adults (Very high income, completely independent, debt-free, not wasting time on games/TV, having a rock solid Mission, etc.) in the western world, living the 2.0 lifestyle is really easy if you also put in some effort in the sack. In my experience, it is the primary reason for a high LSNFTE return rate (And a long stay rate for MLTRs).
To be frank, I have a somewhat high percentage of intercourses where I don’t cum (and wait until round 2) just because I’d rather fuck myself tired and make her cum over and over than just blow my load and get it done – I think it’s a lot more pleasurable to know that you rocked her world and created/enhanced a rock solid sexual bond.
Marty
Posted at 02:16 am, 21st December 2016Great post. This was something I struggled with for a long time before I just decided to get over it and accept myself as I was. But I got called a sex addict by so many different types of people it always used to be there in the back of my head.
I definitely think there is a lot to the energy thing as well. I’ve always stayed very fit even as I’ve got older. I love longer sex sessions and usually end dripping with sweat and exhausted after sex. And I’ll often say to my partners “How the f..k do fat people or unfit people even have sex??” It just seems so physically impossible to me for non-fit people to do it.
Since I’ve been playing around in the swinging scene I’ve noticed that most of the other guys are high energy, fit, intense sort of characters as well.
Tug Speedman
Posted at 04:15 am, 21st December 2016Haha. Yep, that’s MGTOW.
I would have jumped off a cliff if I had to do that for two years. Hell, for two months.
Yeah it sucked, I’m 37 and have been ‘game aware’ for about 13 years, I’ve slept with around 150 women give or take, and I’ve always had a high sex drive. I thought a sabbatical would be a good thing after a crazy relationship, nope, just a waste of 2 years in my prime.
I’d personally like to thank you, discovered your blog on accident, my brother bought me the rational male books, bought your book as well, and within a week I was getting laid again, it was like I hadn’t lost a step. Your book gave me the kick in the ass I needed.
john
Posted at 06:55 am, 21st December 2016BD since you have mentioned it in the past, do you have a link/source for who initiates more breakups in non-marital couples (men or women?)
I got into an argument about this recently
hilsey
Posted at 09:45 am, 21st December 2016Thanks BD!
Can’t wait to read part deux!
Max Cantor
Posted at 10:01 am, 21st December 2016I’d like to see a post on “How to Get Women up the speed” with us. Their libido will never match ours.
KryptoKate
Posted at 10:02 am, 21st December 2016@ BD Lol, I assure you, you would definitely be disgusted if you knew what a lot of guys were doing.
@ Marty Most guys are not fit enough to do that, and are not having the kind of sex that would exhaust them and make them out of breath and sweaty. I have certainly been happy when I met the type that would. 🙂 But I’d say it’s a small minority — there are probably more of them in the older Gen X and up crowd than among younger millennial guys though. I think older guys still have a sense of masculinity that is tied up in being a hard worker and young guys don’t usually have that.
If you want to know how most people are having sex, go on Netflix and watch the first episode of “Easy”…it’s only half hour though you don’t even need to watch the whole episode, you could fast forward to the last 5 minutes for a dead-on (and very sad) portrayal of a lot of couples’ sex life. I’ve made the recommendation before…I think it’s one of the most realistic depictions I’ve seen.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 11:08 am, 21st December 2016Women do. I have several links but here’s the most recent study:
https://today.yougov.com/news/2015/06/09/breaking/
Occasionally you’ll run into an exception-to-the-rule woman who’s been dumped by a man two or three times in a row, and she’ll then assume that “men dump women!” and will be confused and argumentative if you say otherwise, but statistically women dump men. It isn’t even close.
Impossible. You just said it. Women’s libido is very different from a man’s. There’s no way to make her match you in the long-term (short-term yes, long-term no). You’ll have to be nonmonogamous and fuck FBs on the side, or be monogamous and suffer through not enough sex before you eventually cheat on her.
Lovergirl
Posted at 06:10 pm, 21st December 2016Kate- I totally agree with your comments here. Except that I was married to a low sex drive man and for me it was awful. I think even medium sex drive would be better.
He was lazy both in and out of the bedroom and just wanted to lay there and have me ride him, which I REALLY grew to hate.
I don’t seem to have much problem finding men that are good in bed these days and I think it’s because I’ve learned how to pick them, lol. I like really hard working, successful, black men and that pretty much guarantees high testosterone.
My favorite current guy has so much sexual energy that he can actually outlast me, which is saying a lot lol. We seriously have 5-8 hr sex sessions and I’m like what happened to the time??
Andrea
Posted at 06:53 am, 22nd December 2016BD, I’m looking forward to reading part II. Can you also write a post about jealousy? How to deal with it and overcome it to attain and maintain long term happiness? I’m starting to think that men are way more jealous than women and since most men are betas and needy alphas, jealousy is the number one deterrent from becoming Alphas 2.
N N's c
Posted at 07:08 am, 22nd December 2016You could talk of intercourse drive as opposed to “horniness”.
The difference between the two made by what you call laziness, plus for some inability to stand things like
or
and after the logical reply
this
Being in touch with women requires a certain willingness to cope with this (as you have written many times).
They go into the same equation with pussy, and for some people pussy may be not enough to take the rest coming with it.
Some live under the illusion that they will find an intelligent woman (and there are some, of course) and that an “intelligent woman” ‘s mind will work like theirs (and there’s no such thing, of course, unless you take into account very manly women, who won’t be attractive), that is logically.
I’d like to see a male version of your post about frustration and attraction competing with one another in the female mind. Ability to reason gives peace to the relationship but harms charm, illogicality (= femininity) boosts charm but gives annoyance.
Parade
Posted at 07:23 am, 22nd December 2016I completely understand the ‘it’s too much work’ position, since I’m in it myself. I tend to want actual intercourse about once a week. More than that and I start to get annoyed/very tired/off. I’ve tried, and the best I can do is sex 3x/week for a month before I’m exhausted/over it and need to take some time to recover. That said, masturbation doesn’t have the same draining effect as sex does. And let’s not even talk about if I have to go out on dates to get it.
If I go more than a week without I start to want to go check out tinder/okc/sdd and find someone to fuck. However I don’t have any other problems until a few more weeks without.
N N's c
Posted at 07:46 am, 22nd December 2016If you say this from a white man’s point of view, it applies to white women. Women of generally higher libido peoples will match the white man’s libido.
You could rank races by average libido. A race’s males will have the same libido as the females in the above-ranked race.
Try out-libido-ing a Thai or Filipina (who likes you and not your money).
K
Posted at 09:03 am, 22nd December 2016@ N N’s c
Physical attractiveness is a feature independent of logical thinking capability, in both men and women. If you consider also other elements of female attractiveness, besides the purely physical ones, I would say a woman’s logical capability in many cases influences how attracted a man feels to her. The relationship between the two variables is, however, not straightforward. Some men are charmed, as you say, by the lack of logic or “naiveté”, others are more attracted to more intelligent/rational women. The relative importance of the variable will also differ from man to man.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 10:49 am, 22nd December 2016I talk about jealously management in great detail in my book. It’s written for men though.
Yeah, maybe you should get my book even though you’re a girl, since I address that as well. Women are jealous, men are territorial. There’s a slight difference.
Yep. Way ahead of you; read this.
It applies to all races. I wasn’t talking about libido. I was talking about sexual desire for a very long-term (more than 3 years), live-in, usually monogamous partner. That declines over time no matter how horny you are.
Filipinas are indeed the horniest women on planet Earth, but the sexual boredom for a long-term monogamous partner still applies.
My last girlfriend was Filipina, and hell yes, she was as horny as me at all times and it was great. But, we were nonmonogamous and never lived together. Today, many years later, she lives with a beta male in a monogamous relationship, and according to her they only have sex once a month at the most. She’s not interested anymore.
Ah, monogamy.
Eddie
Posted at 11:47 am, 22nd December 2016Ha, ha…BD (you’re crazy, have me over here laughing)…. what makes you say
Please elaborate….because it’s a well-known fact that Black girls are the horniest, followed by Latinas, then Whites (who, by the way, are the freakiest), then Asians (who are the most conservative).
Now, if you’re saying based on your own personal experience they’re the horniest, I can understand that because most Filipinas have a fetish for White men…(so you should correct your statement) because that’s an exception not the norm.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 12:36 pm, 22nd December 2016Haha! Really? It’s a “well known fact?” Then why haven’t I heard of this? And why do I hear from so many black guys how unhorny black women are? I think you’re the one taking personal experience and projecting it on the world.
Yes, Filipino girls are the horniest in the world. Could certain other races tie for this top spot? Sure, but Filipinas are far more horny than black chicks (haha!), and this is not based on my personal experience, but on thousands of emails I’ve received from men over the years regarding different levels of horniness between the races.
Yes, Filipinas love white guys too, but Filipino women fuck Filipino men in the Philippines like rabbits also. It’s a fuck fest over there. It’s a fuck fest wherever these people are. They fuck and cheat like no other race I’ve ever seen (even though they pay lip service to the Catholic religion). They’re basically the Hispanics of Asia (the Filipino race is not technically “Asian”). I’ve been shocked at how horny Filipina women are, and no, not just for white guys. Though I have always said that if you’re a Western guy and just want to get laid, go to the Philippines. Easiest sex you’ll ever get.
But I don’t want to debate this. You’re free to think whatever you like.
Andrea
Posted at 02:38 pm, 22nd December 2016Ok, I’m getting your book for Xmas. ; ). As a ENTP, I really enjoy and agree with a lot of your ideas.
Eddie
Posted at 03:09 pm, 22nd December 2016That’s a weird point to make to say they are not technically Asian. Why, because they were invaded by the Spanish. Regardless, they are legally classified as Southeast Asians and members of ASEAN.
Will you also say then, that Brazilians are not technically Latin because of being invaded by the Portuguese? (By the way, Brazilians are far more hornier than Filipinos) but I digress.
As you stated, no need for a debate. We’ll just have to leave it there and move along.
By the way, thanks for clarifying your statement.
Happy Holidays.
Gil Galad
Posted at 07:10 pm, 22nd December 2016Question BD: you say you didn’t have sex at all in your early twenties because you were busy building your business. How the hell did you do that ? At 25 now, sometimes I almost wish I never *began* to have sex, because when I was a virgin it was at least conceivable to go without sex for months or years, now I shudder at the thought. Did you enforce some rules like limiting your “exposure” to women to make abstention easier and so on ? Did it impact your happiness back then ?
Caleb Jones
Posted at 10:24 pm, 22nd December 2016You answered your own question. I was a virgin.
Once I started having sex, I had sex semi-regularly, but still made very sure to not get a girlfriend (FBs only) as a conscious choice.
Yes. Negatively. I should have lost my virginity earlier and should have had more sex (with FBs). I went too far with the no sex thing.
roger
Posted at 03:11 pm, 23rd December 2016I feel that your ASD is not very correct. Sorry for being a little off topic.
Here is what I think may actually be a more likely effect:
a) Women being worried about their body (insecurities)
b) Women being cautious because they had given out sex to the ‘wrong’ men in the past too easily; resulting in poor sex/poor partner/zero commitement/low relationship quality.
(not dissimilar to your ASD idea).
By no means are my contributions a complete conclusion or evidence based (you perhaps have many more statistical information at hand or even anecdotally in your head to give weight to these or blow them aside).
I’ll also say that women do want commitment, and even though in the long stretch of things it can get very warped (monetary romantic demands, attraction decline due to their demands being supplied).
Caleb Jones
Posted at 03:23 pm, 23rd December 2016I agree that’s a factor with some women.
That is part of ASD.
I don’t disagree but it’s more accurate to state that women want commitment at certain points in their lives. Read this.
K
Posted at 12:02 am, 24th December 2016BD, I have always wanted commitment and to be commited, since I was 6 and started first fantasizing about a relationship incl. sex. Never gone through your “18-23” sleeping-around stage. Maybe because my mom and my step-dad have been together for what now is 27 years, always showed love and affection for each other (to the point of me getting jealous when unhappily in love as a teenager, hell I heard them fuck often behind the wall separating our bedrooms) and taught me that “you know when it’s love”? (Yes, my mom first divorced my biological dad, whom she loved for 13 years, when I was 3. After his third suicide attempt. He developed a severe mental illness while in his 20s and became dangerous to himself and the people around him. She still feels guilty for “not having the strength to stay” to this day.)
Nevertheless, the fact that I wanted commitment didn’t mean I was able to choose a man who was capable of giving it (I gave it to one alright for years and of course got nothing back, as a result of my inability to see things for what they were, take responsibility for my choices and understand my emotions). To clarify, by commitment I don’t necessarily mean sexual monogamy, rather a pair-bond in which the people truly care for each other and their actions are congruent with it. On the other hand in my experience people capable of commitment usually offer sexual monogamy as well. Whether it makes them happier than if they were committed but non-monogamous… is disputable, I suppose.
roger
Posted at 05:51 pm, 25th December 2016I’ve been thinking about this a little more.
There was an 18 year old I was wooing (though as you will read my frame was all wrong).
She’d just broken up, and was hot for me. So I was chatting to her, finding out what she was into; theatre – I was intrigued (a cultured 18 year old). I looked up the next show “$90 per person for matinee show – okay. Sold Out! No problem, regular show $200 for a single person ticket, $370 for two!”
Soon as I balked at the regular ticket price, I believe she lost interest in me. I was 27 years old at the time.
She went on to fuck random guys that bought her one drink in the clubs (I’m trying to say slut here). Even got a nasty sti/kidney infection.
So from this (yes one experience – one woman is not everyone) I gather that perhaps age of the man plays a factor in “ASD”.
I do not believe it is anti slut defence, I think it is more that women expect older men to spend more money – as proof of their success. Also your little example of ‘cougars’ that drop the “ASD” for young hot males.
As an experiment (that I bet you’ll be opposed to) you could try to date 33 yearlds with a Fantabulously expensive second dinner date – and see how well you progress to sex.
But also I feel that online dating may also be a factor – they see everything about you already (know your age, success) and expect a certain level of “wooing” no matter how good your frame is.
Well I’m curious to hear what you think of this.
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 08:14 pm, 25th December 2016Slut Shaming detected. Initiating red pill countermeasures now:
Yeah, you were essentially acting like a beta nice guy.
You should have pitched a meeting at a bar, bought her one drink, gone back to your place, and fucked the living shit out of her.
You haven’t even fucked her yet. Who cares what she’s into?
Oh sweet jesus!
Seriously?
LOL! Why not just castrate yourself, empty your bank account, and declare yourself to be her faithful servant?
No shit! She wanted dick, not some gay ass theater experience that she has her gay friends for.
That’s awesome! Good for her!
Then you are a slut shamer. And your mind is very closed.
Not in your case. In your case, your beta behaviors played a factor in her ASD. Women like to torture betas and make them wait (often just giving them a kiss on the cheek).
No! She didn’t expect you to spend a penny. You are the one that imposed that expectation on her by doing the beta thing – asking about her interests, talking about the theater, proposing theater tickets – holy shit, just kill me! YOU instilled her gold digging expectations in her with your frame.
That’s because they’re cougars.
Yeah, if you’re willing to pay a prostitute.
You’re mixing your own beta behaviors which caused a horny 18 year old to become a frigid gold digger for you with over 33 year old prudes brainwashed with SP. The woman in your example didn’t have sex with anyone who lavished her with money. That had nothing to do with it. She expected you to spend money because you were acting like a beta.
Drop the beta behaviors. And have a Merry Christmas!
roger
Posted at 01:47 am, 26th December 2016Oh… #roasted, glad you got some entertainment out of me 🙂
Yep, that was some time before I discovered your blog, and I was making many bad frame mistakes.
There is no way I’d spend large amounts on dates.
I don’t do the online dating thing, My experience is that women read the profiles and get turned off, or they read them and expect to be wined and dined.
Now days I meet them and go straight for the kill, fast no fuss.
I do agree with 90% of your writings.
J.G
Posted at 07:33 am, 26th December 2016I classify myself as a “normal sex drive”- kind of guy, but others would probably see me as a “low sex drive horny guy”. And I can’t fault them. I found your site a couple of years ago, but have only bought “The Unchained Man”, and not so much the “seductions” books.
It is funny to read all the “high sex drive” guys trying to outshine each other.
As an introvert (INFJ / INTJ) and suffering from social anxiety, it is a slow process to become a better man. And I am not doing my outmost to help it along either. I am more comfortable with it taking time.
I believe I am severely damaged by not having had sex that often before. And I think it was an evil circle of not having experience leading to not getting experience. Lost my virginity at 24, became beta boyfriend with that girl for a year. After that it was a long period, or periods of meeting girls every three years. All that have put its marks on me. I am bitter, can’t date single moms… but I am working on not being bitter, because I want to be happy.
Now I have an mltr and a fb, but I am still a beta. Still have issues, and am still bitter. But it is slightly improving.
So, I want to say THANK YOU Blackdragon! I am not doing your program 100%, but I am doing what I feel comfortable with, and at my own pace. I think on what you write here, and it helps alot!
Hope you have a Merry Christmas, and a Happy new year to all of you guys!
The New Yorker
Posted at 03:01 pm, 26th December 2016Hey BD,
I would love to see your rankings for the most horniest women by nationality/ race. You’ve pretty much established the Filipinas as one of the “best.” Could you briefly make a rough list from your personal experience?
Caleb Jones
Posted at 03:55 pm, 27th December 2016Maybe in the future. It would create huge off topic arguments if I posted such a thing here.
roger
Posted at 07:41 pm, 29th December 2016J.G
Don’t beat yourself up too much, I lost mine in a rush, and wish that I’d have waited as long as you.
Though, it does lead to oneitis, as BD correctly states.
New Yorker
I can confirm Philipino woman as super horny, but they are often the biggest gold diggers. Same for Brazilians in both respects – Brazilian women would do any sexual act to get the residency, after that they can often screw you over (unless you take precautions – condom & prenup, things in your name, all receipts etc)
ytp
Posted at 07:01 am, 5th January 2017Of course, somebody they perceive as more mature and experienced with life is somebody from whom they expect to be judged more -> ASD boost.
This is why they can let themselves go with someone young, in a setting that doesn’t encourage thinking, especially if they are sure they won’t meet him again/there’s no common acquaintance.
All the fantabulously expensive dinner will do is: strengthen her view of you as an opportunity for practical purposes, and lower her deep unconscious attraction for you.
You’ll see her “happy” maybe, but it won’t be the kind of happiness that helps you best. (Same for telling her she is beautiful.)
Find an IQ chart by nation, and reverse it.
Filipina look still hornier than other equally horny women because for some circumstances their society is a quite liberal one, and forces pushing females to suppress AND repress their sexual needs are mostly absent.
(Hence you have what BD calls “fucking like rabbits” and cheating.)
y
Posted at 07:10 am, 16th May 2017Myers-Briggs types and sexual enjoyment: quite truthful.