STD Scanner

Oh yeah baby, that’s great, but before we get started, if I could just take a little sample of your blood…

For many years now, I have fantasized about a device someone would invent, that was about the size of my cell phone and that I could carry around in my pocket. Whenever I wanted to have sex with a new woman, I could pull out this device, have her prick herself on the arm using a small retractable needle within the device, and draw a little blood. Then I could drop her blood onto this little device, and it would test her for all the STDs known to man. Within a minute or two, it would give me a readout, and I would instantly know if she had any STDs or not.

Moreover, since it was scanning her blood anyway, the device could also notify me of any other creepy shit she might be up to, like the amount of methamphetamine she had in her system, or if she had any communicable diseases like mono or the flu.

If she was completely STD free, just to be a nice guy, I would also prick my own blood and show her that I too am 100% clean. Fair is fair.

Holy mother of god. Just imagine the good it would do the world if every Alpha male had such a device in his pocket. The STD rate all around the world would plummet like a stone. What a wonderful, wonderful thing I was fantasizing about.

Lo and behold, I¬†recently¬†read about “Lab on a Chip” or “LOC”, something researchers are now developing. Sure as shit, it’s exactly what I just described; a small handheld device that can test blood and give you instant results not just on every STD, but hundreds of other possible¬†diseases,¬†in just minutes.¬†Moreover, the LOC will¬†actually¬†be a cloud-based device, so if some new outbreak like SARS suddenly appears, it will be aware of it instantly and test for this as well.

I cannot WAIT for this thing to be developed. As soon as it’s¬†independently¬†verified as working I’m going to be one of its earliest¬†adopters. I don’t normally do that with new¬†gadgets¬†but with the LOC I’ll happily make an exception. It will pretty much wipe out the fear of STDs from your¬†existence,¬†whether¬†you use condoms or not. (Of course you should still use condoms¬†even with the LOC,¬†since many of you men out there can’t control yourselves and create too many babies out out of wedlock with immature¬†women¬†who can’t afford them.)

The LOC at this point is in the development stages, and it will be several years before you and I can actually buy one that actually works at a decent price, but “several years” is a hell of a lot better than “never”.

You can read about the LOC here, here, and here. They’re¬†primarily¬†being developed to control disease in the third world, which is great, but guys like you and I will be using them to avoid STDs.

Another cool thing that will happen relatively soon in our¬†lifetimes¬†is nonhormonal male birth control. For 50 years now, women have had a birth control pill and men have not. This is stupid,¬†since it puts the wolf in charge of guarding the hen house. Oh, you’re going to make women responsible for taking a pill every day to make sure they don’t have babies? Women? Oh yeah, that’s a great fuckin’ idea.

While we’re at it, let’s make a pill men have to take every day that makes their dicks smaller. That will work just as well. I don’t trust birth control pills alone for birth control and neither should you. Really, how the hell do you know for sure she¬†took her pill this morning? You’re going to trust 30% of¬†your¬†income for 18 years on that? I’m not.

Women have eleven or twelve forms of birth control, with abortion on top of that, while us guys have two. And what a great two they are. One is an uncomfortable piece of plastic we shove on our cocks that makes sex feel worse, and another is a very invasive and permanent surgery that involves surgical blades inside our scrotum. Oh yeah, that sounds great. Sign me up for that.

However, soon (as in a few years/decades) we’ll have a male birth control pill or¬†similar. Earlier researchers tried to make one but it¬†screwed¬†up men’s¬†testosterone¬†and other hormones. Today they’ve chucked that route, focusing on other methods. I’ve read about some crazy stuff, like:

  • A temporary pill that simply chops off all¬†your¬†sperm’s tails, so they can’t swim anywhere.
  • A shot developed by a guy in India that makes you¬†infertile¬†for ten years, with another shot that turns your¬†fertility¬†right back on¬†whenever¬†you want, without messing with your testosterone or your hormones. Sort of an “male IUD”.
  • A¬†radio-controlled implant that¬†instantly¬†blocks sperm flow when you press a button. (I’ll hold out for the voice-controlled¬†version. Someday during sex I’ll be screaming, “Activate CYBERCOCK!”)

Like I said, crazy sci-fi stuff, but I promise you at some point, they will develop a safe method of birth control for men. It’s just a matter of time. With that along with your LOC in your pocket (perhaps it will be integrated into your smartphone by then), us men will be sexually invincible, even with no condoms. That day can’t come soon enough.

This is why when I say that the more technology grows, especially when inexpensive but lifelike sex robots become¬†available, sexual power in society will¬†slowly¬†start to shift away from women and towards men. Right now it’s men who “ask” for sex and women who “give” it. Don’t be surprised in several decades to see this completely turned around. Especially when women want those pesky babies.

Won’t that be interesting? “What a wonderful world…”

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22 Comments on “Future Technology Trends and Alpha Males

  1. “Activate CYBERCOCK!” LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I am very much looking forward to the decade when the sex-power balance is more even. Until then, I’m still not asking for sex like the majority of men out there. I’m just getting it from whichever hotties drift my way.

  2. It’s absolutely mind-blowing to speculate how seemingly simple changes in sex related technology (as described in the post) will change people’s sex life and, in turn, society as a whole.

    I would suspect that the gap between betas and alphas, in terms of the amount of women they sleep with, will become even bigger.

    But regardless of what really happens, future seems bright for men who have their shit handled.

  3. This makes me think of the movie Gattaca. Their entire society ran on blood tests and genetics. The movie focuses on the dark side of the technology, but like you pointed out, it would be awesome to be able to test for STDs in the field.

    On the subject of birth control, it annoys me to hear some women claim that only people with vaginas should be allowed to voice an opinion on women’s reproductive “rights.” I’m very much looking forward to hearing what they have to say when male birth control give us “rights” too. ūüôā

  4. Poking someone with a needle right before sex checking for stds would kind of kill the mood. They totally need to make it where you can just scan them unawares. Im a little leery of all these birth control devices for men. Only because if men were never subject to a woman’s desire to have babies then the entire species could just die out. Men might never want to have kids and we’d be drastically UNDERpopulated. Especially if they were taking long term 10 year stuff. It would be one thing if it were more temporary. Also, if men weren’t giving women babies anymore I think the attraction to them would wane out one and you’d have a lot more lesbianism.

  5. Several new technologies will greatly impact how we have sex in the future.

    In the next 5 years, male contraception will be a reality. You can temporarily knock out your swimmers and have them back whenever you like. Men will be able to completely control their reproduction, just like women. It’s a myth that men don’t want this. Obviously, still use a condom.

    In the next 10-20 years, Herpes and HiV will likely be cured or vaccinated against. That right there will be huge. HPV already has a vaccine. Several avenues for the other two are being explored.

  6. Jon – The sexual conversation is going to change radically when men have as much sexual power as women. I too will be very interested in woman’s discussion of their “right to have a baby before they turn 30” when the last four men they’ve dated were all taking the male birth control pill. I don’t think women are prepared for what’s coming.

    Lovergirl – Personally, I wouldn’t do it right before sex. I would do it during the initial STD conversation I always have with women pre-sex. And don’t worry about the species dying out. Dumb people, immature people, and poor people will crank out babies like Xerox machines left and right even when this technology is working. The biggest concern most big thinkers have these days is overpopulation, not people not having enough babies.

    DB – I didn’t even think about STD vaccines. Very good point. People really have no idea how different our lives will be in just 10-20 short years. It’s quite exciting!

  7. The sexual revolution begins!


    side note: Beta males will continue to ”cum in their wives” so betas will still be paying alimoney et c. But If this does happen ( the std scanner, sex robots etc) more and more men will become ”unplugged” from the grasp of the female vagina…

  8. I don’t think any of this will happen as fast as predicted. Feminist and liberals will blockade the legality of all of these technolgies to the best of the POTUS’s ability.

    Massive shaming campaigns will take place to enourage men to avoid these methods, and for women to not have sex with men who use them!

    Perhaps though all of these things will be avaialable in Asia a lot sooner than the western world…

  9. BD – It might be kind of off topic, but I’m surprised you are excited about said technology being implemented into a cloud system. as a general rule, cloud storage generally stipulate that the data on a cloud is owned by the company that provides the service, in this case the company providing the LOC, or whoever they contract that out to. The result of that would be that there is a record of a blood sample (viruses/diseases/chemical concentration/DNA) of you that no longer belongs to you. Thus, anyone who could buy/pressure it out of them would have access to that information. This is of course assuming that they would have a way to identify who is being scanned. Still, they probably know who owns the device and it would be child’s play to find out from there.

    It’s the primary downside to a cloud system. Maybe this doesn’t bother you, but it would bother me. If I were every to use such a device (and I would) I would be quite insistent that it be completely offline unless given manual internet connection for updates. Cloud computing is a trade of privacy for convenience.

    Lovergirl – Men want kids. They might not want them as much as women but they do want kids. They just don’t want their lives ruined in order to do it. If the population started taking a notable decline due to the rise of male birth control, it wouldn’t continue for long. Either the government would provide financial incentives to have children, like France and Japan do, or there possibly would be a legal change that removes some of the incentive barriers towards having kids. Or possibly women would just bully their men into having kids anyway. Actually, that’s probably what would happen.

  10. Checking her for STD’s and then having sex with her a week later doesn’t guarantee she hasn’t caught anything since then. :p Usually if it’s not something they caught really recently people are going to have gotten themselves treated already. STD’s get passed when people are unaware they are carrying them and most are unpleasant enough that they are hard to miss for long, ask me how I know. I know they claim people can be symptom free but I think that is more often the case for MEN and that’s why they spread them more often.

    As for babies…you really think just the elite “smart”, wealthy types using birth control is a good idea while the losers reproduce? Oh wait, that’s kind of how it is now. The intellectuals, the rich, they are the ones that only have one kid, or don’t have any. They are gonna die out eventually, lol.

    @Enloc… I could go for being paid to have kids, haha. They do that in Germany and Australia too I hear. So much for overpopulation concerns. I don’t think it’s women “bullying” men at all but whatever. Women are just more inclined to have that nurturing streak. If they are forced to go to sperm banks to have babies men are going to be come less and less useful, just saying.

    Truth to be told it is also kind of a turn off knowing there is not a chance of getting pregnant during sex. Infertility is not hot. It’s just the way human nature is I guess. When a guy I was seeing was gonna get a vasectomy I was so upset, but it’s not like I was in any position to have a baby with him or really wanted it, it just upset me anyway.

  11. Going to a sperm bank and making a withdrawal isn’t as easy (or cheap) as it sounds. According to the article below, it can cost $2,000 – $3,000 per attempt (more if attorneys are involved) followed by no child support if it works. I don’t see that as a viable option for many women – mostly just lesbian couples or financially successful single women in their 30s. That would still leave a lot of frustrated 20 somethings that want a baby but have trouble finding a guy to give them one.

    And after this donor got nailed for child support, I doubt the DIY artificial insemination kits will be very popular…

    Who’s your daddy? Sperm donors, paternity, child support and the law

    In terms of hotness, I’ll admit that sex with no protection or precaution is the best. There is something very exciting about that element of danger. But safe sex really isn’t too bad either, and it’s certainly hotter than no sex at all.

  12. “Im a little leery of all these birth control devices for men. Only because if men were never subject to a woman‚Äôs desire to have babies then the entire species could just die out. Men might never want to have kids and we‚Äôd be drastically UNDERpopulated”

    Most likely, society would change drastically so that women would have to learn to stop giving guys shit all the time, feminism would die out as no man would procreate with feminists, Beta men would be unable to continue their genetic line and die out.
    Eventually we’ll just have a population of REAL MEN and Feminine women who play their biological role in society, rather than playing the feminist role.

    which means, most likely a)the destruction of marriage and b) the end of monogamy

    with would = c: EXTREME POPULATION GROWTH . . .in two generations, as sexual taboos break down, and more people have sex, rather than travel thousands of miles to kill brown people to benefit the coffers of a rich old white elite class

  13. Consider that as life expectancy rises, the choice becomes not so much, do I want to have children or not, rather, in which of my many decades would I like to have children.

    From an evolutionary perspective, women are in a dramatic position regarding reproduction – in the hunter-gatherer world, getting pregnant from a man who abandons you may well have been a death sentence for your DNA; might have been the same for a woman being 33+ and childless. Societal and technological innovations will hopefully continue to give women more options, easing their powerful emotions around pregnancy.

    Birth control for men could supposedly have an option to leave you with a one in a billion chance of getting a girl pregnant. It would be statistically insignificant but might keep some of the psychological excitement that lovergirl describes.

  14. I would like to read about your opinions on sex, love, marriage and babies with robots. I recently read that within 50 years they can make robots that are indistinguishable from humans.

  15. “Really, how the hell do you know for sure she took her pill this morning? You‚Äôre going to trust 30% of your income for 18 years on that? I‚Äôm not.”

    True! My ex used to beg me for kids and I said I was not ready. Every day I would ask if she took her pill and she would get mad… Some days she would say “oh I forgot! Don’t worry I’ll take 2 tomorrow.”

    Listen you stupid broad don’t play around with my life! I got rid of her and now she’s happily chasing around a son with some other dude. Good luck!

  16. Hey BD, first time posting.
    Take a look a this link; I believe it’s a step in the right direction.

  17. They’re primarily being developed to control disease in the third world, which is great, 

    How on earth would it be not great to have 2, soon after, 3, and sometimes after 4 billion “people” in Africa?
    Of course it’s great.
    And if who spares them diseases are the same they spend all their time on the Internet namecalling “crap” “shitbird” and suchlike, that’s even greater.

    I compliment you on not being annoyed by the troops of “people” populating the Internet with comments like “White’s colour is like shitbird” and “Like all whites you are a pathological liar”.
    Almost greater than great.

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