Racial Series Part 3 – Pickup Advice for Asian Guys
In our continuing series on helping guys with different races, last time we talked Indian guys and the time before that we talked about black guys. Today we’re going to discuss the Asian dudes.
I have been working with, interacting with, and hanging out with Asian guys extensively, for my entire adult life, going back 25 years or more. I’ve had many Asian friends and worked with Asian companies extensively, from Japanese companies back in the 90s to Chinese and SE Asian companies today. Some of my best buds over the years have been Asian guys. Many of you Asian readers have emailed me and have spoken with me. I travel to Asia regularly and will likely live there someday. I’ve dated lots of Asian women (and white women) and have received lots of feedback on their opinions regarding Asian men.
I’m not Asian myself obviously, but Asian guys are something I know a lot of about, more than any other race of guys, outside of my own. When it comes to dating and pickup, I see Asian make the same mistakes over and over again. So if you’re an Asian guy trying to date women outside of your race, today is all about you, and what you need to do (or not do) to be successful in this area. The below items are not listed in any particular order, but they’re all important:
1. Stop worrying about what your mom and dad will think. It’s your life, not theirs. They’ll get over it.
While you Asian guys don’t have nearly the destructive cultural Societal Programming that the Indian guys need to wrestle with, as an Asian man you still have your fair share.
Asian society is highly collectivist. Some of that has helped Asian societies, such as Japan in late 20th century, Singapore today, and China in the future. The downside of this is that you’ve got hordes of Asian men living in the West, well over the age of 25 or even 30, who are spending their lives trying to impress their parents.
I’ve written an entire book on how to be your own man and overcome this kind of cultural brainwashing, so I’m not going to rehash all that here. The point is that if you’re an Asian man living in Asia who only wants to date (or marry) Asian women, then feel free to be a slave to your parents for your entire life if you wish. But if you’re an Asian man living in the West and wanting to date Western women, you need to, at least mentally, tell your parents to fuck off.
If your dad is going to freak out if he finds out you’re dating a white girl (or god forbid, a black girl), that’s his fucking problem, not yours. Let him freak out. He’ll get over it. He’s not going to kill you or excommunicate you from the family for all eternity. He’ll get pissed off, and eventually he’ll calm down. He won’t like it, but he’ll deal.
You’re a grown man, dude. It’s your life, not his. Worrying about your mom or dad’s reactions when you’re eight years old makes sense, but doing this in your late 20s or 30s makes you a pussy.
2. Lift weights and get some muscle.
Of course all men pursuing an Alpha Male lifestyle need to engage in regular resistance training, regardless of race. I’ve said this many times before. The payoffs in health and confidence are more than worth doing, even if you never plan on having sex for the rest of your life.
However, this muscle gain advice goes triple for Asian guys. One of the turnoffs Western women have regarding Asian men is their comparatively tiny, short, skinny little bodies. While there is a small percentage of women are attracted to super skinny men, a teeny tiny skinny body on a man is not attractive to the majority Western women. White women and black women in particular are attracted to men with bodies larger than they are. Lots of Asian men have bodies that are the same size or smaller than many Western women. That’s a problem.
There’s a huge upside to the male Asian body, however…if you can take advantage of it. Asian men have no body hair. When you’re the typical skinny Asian guy, this makes your shirtless body look like a little boy. But when you’re a ripped Asian guy, your body actually looks better than a white man’s body.
Let me be clear about this. Over the years, numerous white women, including super hot ones, have reported to me that a ripped Asian guy with some real muscle on him is better looking to them than average or even ripped white guys. Asian guys, white women tell me, have much better skin and a much better aesthetic look than white guys when they get buff. I have seen many white women swoon a little when they see a shirtless Bruce Lee or Daniel Dae Kim.
If I was an Asian guy wanting to hook up with white girls (or girls of any race outside of Asian), the very first thing I would do would be to get down to my local gym, hire a personal trainer, and get to work on building muscle.
3. Stop being a nerd.
This one actually isn’t as bad as it once was about 20 years ago, but the nerd stigma of Asian guys still holds with a lot of Westerners.
If you’re an Asian guy, just be aware that the odds of you being perceived as nerdy by non-Asian girls is much higher than any other race. When you speak to women or when you’re writing an online dating profile, avoid topics like college, Anime, Minecraft, computers, the internet, and things like that.
White guys and black guys can venture into these topics a little, but you don’t have that luxury. Keep your mouth shut about these things until after you’ve had sex with her twice.
4. Calm the fuck down.
You might remember I told the black guys to calm the fuck down too, but with you Asian guys this is a little different.
From the standpoint of a Westerner, Asian men are seemingly only available in one of two flavors:
1. Quiet Shy Beta Male Nerd
2. Laughing Loudmouth Who Can’t Shut Up
You know exactly who the Asian Laughing Loudmouth is. Every group of Asians has at least two or three of these irritating bastards. This is the Asian guy who is constantly talking very loudly, constantly smiling and laughing, constantly cracking jokes and can’t fucking shut up. Emphasis on the word constantly.
This is not attractive. It’s fun for a few minutes, but after that it gets old fast. It might get you friends, but it won’t get you laid. Non-Asian women’s pussies will dry up as you approach with your way too-high energy and stupid wisecracks.
If you’re an Asian Laughing Loudmouth, you need to calm down and shut up. Joking around is fine. Laughing is fine. If you’ve read my stuff or listened to any of my podcasts, you know I do that stuff often. They key is that I don’t do it constantly. I’m a happy guy, but I also calm down, shut up, and listen. I know how to communicate with other human beings at a normal level without acting like a clown all the time. You need to control yourself and do the same.
5. Don’t worry about your cock.
Asian guys often worry about how they might have a smaller penis than men of other races. Scientifically and statistically, yeah, that’s correct. But you know what? I have literally never heard of a non-Asian woman complain about this. I’m sure someone somewhere has, but I’ve never heard it.
Instead, non-Asian women complain about all the stuff above; Asian men being too concerned about their parents, being too skinny/tiny, being too nerdy, or being a Laughing Loudmouth.
If you’re a cool Asian guy with some muscles and you’re not joking around all the time, I don’t think any white, black, or Hispanic women is going to care much about the size of your cock. You’re good to go.
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Hi BD,
Your post needs a crucial next point which emphasizes assertiveness and not being a pussy. Modern Asian culture is about avoiding conflict where possible – I’ve had a lifetime of this shit drilled into me! Favorite statements from Asian parents are:
‘be careful’, ‘don’t get into fights’, ‘avoid clubs and bars because bad people go there’, ‘just avoid any kind of trouble – it’s better not to go out than to risk getting into a fight’, and the list goes on.
Having dated heaps of white chicks and 98% of them telling me they’d never thought they’d have dated an Asian guy, then drilling down into why I got them, the biggest take away was being a man. Asians are always seen as the shy, serving, supplicating, soft, pushover types of guys. Lifting weights is good, but learning how to fight and holding your own is a must too, and also embracing any kind of conflicting situation like how a man would; if it means throwing a few fists or getting into a shoving match until the other fucker backs down, so be it.
So a TL/DR version of this is – man the fuck up, hold your ground, learn how to fight, have a don’t fuck with me aura that surrounds you, and know when to say no.
Cheers,
SB
It all comes down to mindset.
Most Asian men have been indoctrinated with limiting beliefs from a very young age. One of my best friends was like that.
He decided to work on his body, mind and game and since then he has introduced a whole new scope in his life.
Eventually, he became a more self-aware person that doesn’t allow shitty mindsets to mess with his belief system.
Now it’s not a matter of which woman will like him, but more of a which woman he will choose. And that’s one of the most powerful feelings in the world.
Awesome tips Caleb. When I was doing hard-core day game, one of the biggest way I messed up dates was being a laughing loud mouth. It took me a long time to calm down and stop doing it. One of the best advice you have me was to over escalate during dates. Turns out even my over escalating wasn’t even over escalating but still worked. We asians have been brainwashed so hard when it comes to escalating sexually that it’s tough even if we know it logically makes sense.
Totally agree with everything BD stated….I would add this one thing “MASCULINITY.”
Asian guys need to be more masculine, in their walk, talk, style and demeanor. A short cut to overall masculinity-success would be to hang out with Black guys.
I would add one more …. Don’t even bother trying to add facial hair. It just doesn’t work on Asian dudes.
Good comments. Yeah, it’s about aggressiveness and masculinity.
Agree on the facial hair too. Not only can most Asian guys not pull it off, but in Asian culture it’s not really done. Whenever I go to Asia I purposely shave off all my facial hair (if I have any) and stay clean shaven during my stay.
Funny thing, just recently I fucked up a potential lay BECAUSE I was over-escalating and being aggressive. Yes, I’m Asian. The woman in question was an older blonde woman 34 years of age. Yes, I know she’s over 33 but I’m an exception because I’m 29 and everyone that meets me thinks I look 21, including her (I’m the loophole exception that you speak of). I’ve even posted the FR on your other site here.
Pretty much nailed it. It’s Societal Programming: Asian Edition. I’m glad you called out the Laughing Loudmouth, too; I notice guys like this all the time but never see anyone talk about it.
Of course not. He’s Asian, not Muslim.
Seriously though, I hope this racial series will eventually cover Arab/Muslim culture in which the parents will literally slit your throat or stone you if you engage in sexual behavior your parents disagree with (especially if you’re a female).
BD, just wondering, after you profile Latin and Whites guys will you then go back and specifically write and lay out a plan about how each guy from each race can “Game” the women of different races… for example.
White guys, this is how you approach and date Black girls, Asian girls, Latin girls, White girls.
Good stuff. Have you considered doing Pickup advice for the disabled? My roommate is a high functioning autistic (or has Assburgers or whatever) and fuck me senseless does he suck with chicks. The only chicks he gets with all weigh at least 300 lbs lol. He doesn’t really care (so much so that he actually flees from drama at first sight) but still, I’d like to see him with a better quality chick. If that’s possible.
That happened to a buddy of mine. He hooked up with a white chick and was disowned almost immediately. Although this was here and not overseas. Pretty sure he would have been killed overseas like you say. I friggin hate old school religion, man.
Here’s a good sign of the evercoming change of Western perceptions of Asians:
I don’t play multiplayer games anymore, but I still have a special place in my heart for Blizzard <3
And as you’ll see, their cinematics are only getting better and better. Not just in terms of visual quality, but STORYTELLING. and storytelling is vastly impactful with affecting perception.
https://youtu.be/oJ09xdxzIJQ
Even when they yell out some Asian shit, it doesn’t sound corny, it sounds AWESOME. Purposeful. and it’s done SPARINGLY
Blizzard even established their own cinematics production department, or studio, or whatever. And with the release of Warcraft, the movie — that’s MOMENTUM. If you understand the shift the movie industry is heading in, as in with the heavy emphasis now with superheroes and comics, it is only INEVITABLE they will start making interpretations of videogame intellectual property. Hollywood is running out of ideas. They’re even making a Ghost in the Shell LOL. Sure it’s starring Scarlet Johansen, but that’s a stepping stone, introducing Western mainstream audiences to the crazy ideas of Asian creative properties. Even, the Del Torro guy who made Pan’s Labyrinth fucking made Pacific Rim, and that was kinda awesome. It’s bringing the Titan Mechs into the fore. After all, again with Ghost in the Shell, you have those spider bot mechs.
This is huge, because Blizzard is still a WESTERN studio. It’s like, the BIGGEST western studio.
Definitely do not talk like how I am talking to you, with women you want to fuck.
Also, take a look at Big Hero 6. I didn’t like the movie, but women LOVE the protagonist’s older brother. Voice actor is Daniel Henney, and he’s the type of Asian Look, women LOVE as well. But also importantly, this is intended more towards CHILDREN who will grow up to be the women we fuck.
So many fucking examples. It’s a GREAT time to be Asian. Any Asian who can overcome the stereotypes will STAND OUT, which is essentially what working out and similar advice aims to do.
I “brag” about dropping out all the time. It’s a funny dynamic, being Asian, because I’m by default perceived as booknerdy, but when women find out how blunt I am about having dropped out, AND being more successful than most people, they’re like “holy shit, this guy is fucking smart.” BUT it’s still unconventional
BUT it’s still unconventional*** so they’re not always sure on how to respond, so I can get away with it, to my benefit.
Oh and before some nerd tries to tell me Blizzard isn’t behind the FX of Warcraft, the movie… I know, ILM is. It’s a stepping stone nonetheless. A videogame studio is not going to open up a dedicated cinematics production department for no reason.
These are the rippling effects of cultural change. IT IS still nerdy to talk about videogames… but the industry is becoming too big to ignore it’s impact.
Yeah and when they start doing that, and I might get a warning or something for this but here goes…
…I’m gonna hope for another 9/11, but this time on Hollywood.
I fucking hate video game based movies, all of them. Hollywood just destroys everything man. If it isn’t movies about how you can white knight a chick into bed, its remakes of movies where the same shitty premise is there but instead of four good actors who knew what they were doing, they have to have four meh actors because feminism (I’m looking at YOU, Ghostbusters). I absolutely hate what Hollywood has become.
That is why I mention Blizzard opening up their own dedicated cinematics production department as being an important step. It is important because what many hollywood movies fail to do is let the studios that actually made the game have any say into how the movie is made.
Besides, how Hollywood does romance is pretty much irrelevant, because the disney fantasy is too engrained in society.
BUT what matters is WHO THEY PUT ON THE SCREEN. They have Ryan Reynolds, a hot white man doing the loveydovey in Deadpool. Need I say more.
I personally love Hollywood. What better way is there to affect hundreds of millions of people. Again, this is why I say Blizzard, setting up their own dedicated cinematics production department is an important first step. Hollywood can be used as a vehicle, if not a lagging vehicle, in terms of following the trends which can now be established through other video creation platforms such as Youtube, Vimeo, Netflix, Amazon original series, etc., etc.
A WESTERN studio like Blizzard, having the balls to venture into Asian territory and bring them over here is woah. Hollywood is too scared to do that… hence starring a white woman, scarlet johansen as the star of an Asian Anime.
Also, take a look at the cast of Warcraft, the movie. These are not big named stars… and yet it still has a HIGH PRODUCTION BUDGET…….. because Warcraft is a BIG creative property… if a videogame IP can command that…
Just to conitnue with the videogame trailer I posted in my previous comment… so far, they released THREE videos… one of a MONKEY, a WHITE WOMAN, and now TWO ASIAN MEN.
Before someone doesn’t get what I’m implying when I say:
“Also, take a look at the cast of Warcraft, the movie. These are not big named stars… and yet it still has a HIGH PRODUCTION BUDGET…….. because Warcraft is a BIG creative property… if a videogame IP can command that…”
That means, there is probability that an ASIAN MAN OR WOMAN who is NOT a big named star (because there are none) can be CASTED in a movie that can be seen by MILLIONS.
That is the last I will say about hollywood and videogames. Unless someone has something very interesting to add to it.
@Jack: it’s a little more complicated than that, but essentially yes. In North African muslim countries (and a few more others like Lebanon) people are a little more loose, that’s where I’m from. I don’t know what my parents would do if they knew what I’ve done in France LOL, but if you know how to manoeuvre in your “explanations” of why you did it, it can pass with relatively minor damage. If you’re a girl, it’s gonna be worse on average, but still no stoning or anything, because the laws of countries like Algeria, Tunisia, etc, don’t allow this and because families prefer to keep things quiet. What’s much more dangerous than being caught ‘fornicating’ is coming out as nonreligious (or gay: you’re screwed if you do this), that’s the big no-no, although it’s beginning to be talked about in the media.
One thing I’ve noticed though is this: much less than young men, young muslim women, on average, don’t give a shit about how bad a sin fornication is, yada yada yada. See when BD talked about how meaningless the concept of “boyfriend” is for 18-23-y-o girls who are perfectly fine with cheating ? that’s how a growing number of muslim women feel about committing the “terrible” sin of fucking before marriage: cheating on God is as easy as cheating on a boyfriend. It’s true as long as you follow the important rule of not verbalizing the idea of breaking religious rules.
Obviously they’re right to rebel against such a horrible ideology (though I would call that a rebellion of the body, not the mind), but it got me thinking: does the average woman have any respect for the concept of a moral code ? These are girls who are definitely devout, but they’re capable of entertaining contradictory beliefs about how their religion is the true one and how it’s okay to fuck that guy because God will forgive them, or whatever. A recurring model is that of the religious girl fucking a guy who is much more explicitly non-religious, and getting upset when he questions her beliefs – she’s upset about his attitude or what people will think, NOT about the fact she’s breaking rules she believes in. It’s also true in other religions, politics, morality in general: I’ve grown extremely untrusting of the ability of (most) women to really stick to a moral code, even one they enthusiastically agree to.
And if you want info on arab guys’ problems with dating, here’s the one I’ve noticed. It might be a surprise: the average arab guy dating in the West is terribly, terribly beta. In fact my perception is that it’s divided between A) some guys who are mostly there for the pump-and-dump, pretty misogynistic (in a hybrid muslim-secular sort of way), B) a larger number of guys who are essentially omegas. C) all other types, in lesser numbers. If I could name one thing that may be both a cause and a symptom of B, it’s arab songs: the amount of oneitis in those songs and clips is toxic, and arab men are falling for it (as a matter of fact, I used to love them when I was a teenager, and hearing them today still has some effect on me. Thankfully I’ve purged my brain of this madness and now most of the music I listen to is movie soundtracks). And don’t get me started on their “favorite western songs”. Ahem…”only know you love her when you let her go”. I may vomit. I’m at a crossroads between wanting to knock some sense into them or just no longer identifying as an (secular) Arab (and ethnically speaking, the label is unjustified anyway, and unfair towards the ethnicities conquered by a now diluted arab minority).
Um…. all this extremely nerdy video game shit does not belong on this blog. Please stop with this crap. This is exactly what BD is telling you not do in the article.
I am pointing out an extreme subtlety. Go to any convention and you will find cute-hot women of all races.
I’m also saying, you do not HAVE to give up or hide certain facets of yourself all the time to have sex with women.
AND how things are ONLY getting better for Asian guys. I’d say that DOES belong here.
I’d also say what I’m saying belongs here more than saying something like this. Look at Steve Aoki… You think he doesn’t get laid because he has facial hair? LOL
Look up Asian guy facial hair on google. You can’t tell me that there are no Asian guys who are not attractive with facial hair. That’s a joke.
What you’re saying is akin to telling a balding guy to sport a combover. To hide the fact he’s balding. I’m saying, if you’re balding, just shave your fucking head.
The biggest problem asian guys have is giving a shit what others think. An asian guy who can grow and sport facial hair, and wants to SHOULD fucking do it. That communicates much more to women.
Not to mention, BD’s name is pretty dorky. No offense BD, but it’s the thinking behind the decision to do it anyways which factors into why I like coming back to your blog.
My name is fucking stupid. My name is fucking Butt. But it’s done in a good way. BD’s thing is done in a good way.
Asians can still be Asian, it just has to be done right.
I think we all know the answer to that 😉
But most men don’t either. And neither gender should. Morals in general are OBW to the max lol.
Only problem is that chicks have throngs of white knights ready to defend them when they do something “wrong” while men have serious punishments just for considering doing the “wrong” thing.
White knights make life hell for everyone.
It will not. I have no experience with these kinds of men and there aren’t enough living in the US to focus on them anyway.
Some PUA in Europe will have to write that one. Muslims will be running Europe soon anyway.
Not exactly, but I can write about how any guy (in general, of any race) can approach/date women of different races.
If I wrote about how every guy of every race should approach every woman of every race, I’d be writing about nothing else.
Haha. No.
Pretty much, yeah.
Very. I don’t like it. I chose that name many years ago before I became well known. Now I’m stuck with it.
If I had known back then what the Blackdragon name would become, I would have picked something else.
I’ve grown extremely untrusting of the ability of (most) women to really stick to a moral code, even one they enthusiastically agree to.
@ Gil Galad… As someone once said, “Women have NO Moral Agency.”
Sure thing.
I don’t know, some Blackdragons are pretty cool. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ac/f0/c5/acf0c5d7da0eb19692f10b51e8ab391c.jpg
@joelsuf: I always find it difficult to understand your position. It’s contradictory to supposedly reject all morals and then to utter the word “should”. If one is amoral, there is no such thing as “we should” or “shouldn’t be moral”. Effectively, being amoral means anything goes, including sticking to a moral code. If you say you reject morality and then that people should have no morals, or when you consider white knights/tradcons/leftists as a “problem”, you are making a value judgement and therefore you’re expressing a moral system, albeit implicitly. Some form of morality is necessary, not because we’re supposed to have it, but simply because we can’t help it.
I consider my position as close to yours but without the above: I admit to myself that there is nothing I’m “supposed” to do or not do, but I notice and acknowledge that there are still things I consider problematic and others good, and I just identify with that animal instinct to care to some extent about the problems of other individuals. Since I would feel unhappy to resist animal altruistic instincts, I selfishly choose to act unselfishly. All big brained animals have some degree of empathy that makes them react to what happens to others, just like you would think that white knights and double standards are a shitty thing that shouldn’t be: maybe you wouldn’t raise a finger to change it (although just commenting here is already a small action against it !), but you said it because the experience of seeing that unfairness was negative to you: that’s morality the way I see it.
I already did here. But I can write more on that topic.
Actually it’s more likely Europe will collapse before the Muslims get a chance, but go read the CJ blog if you want more info on that.
Some guy named P retracted his comment:
Numero Uno: No comment is going to convince me I’m stupid. It’s not possible.
Numero Dos: Go through the comments section of BD’s previous article and you will find that I did not once mention videogames. I even made exchanges with Kryptokate and Lovergirl and still, not once, did I mention anything about videogames.
Numero Tres : I clearly said “Definitely do not talk like how I am talking to you guys to women you want to fuck.” Are you guys women?
BD said:
Is this my online dating profile? Is this YOUR online dating profile?
Numero Quatro: It’s not the company that destroys peoples’ lives. People destroy their own lives.
I encourage people to go fuck up and figure things out for themselves. I know for a fact that I can get laid with facial hair. I know for a fact that I can get laid by cute-hot women who play videogames. If you guys want to keep your facial hair shaven and suppress partaking in certain avenues of entertainment you may enjoy, just because some guys on the internet said so, by all means, do not listen to the perspective I offer.
Extra Bonus Round: You really can’t take those sticks out of your asses and let yourself take pleasure watching a cool 8 minute video about two fucking ninjas battling that shit out? (Rhetorical question.)
One thing I wanted to add to the topic of muslims in the west: my impression is that the european’s suicidal attitude towards them is one more example of AF,BB. Women in Europe have made sure that most of their men are betaized as fuck, and now that all the testosterone in their continent has been drained, they perceive the muslims with their bad reputation as the bad-boy strangers, the guy you fuck behind you pussy husband’s back.
If only these women realized most of their shit wasn’t about equality but about the eternal shit-testing of men, they’d know that they actually don’t want men to be androgynous wimps. They waste tremendous effort in social engineering to make them just that, and then waste just as much in bringing new males into their countries to replenish the depleted alphaness. It’s ridiculous.
You can’t really do this, because cultural differences impact these things more than ethnicity.
An asian girl from mainland china is gonna be totally different from an american-born asian girl from los angeles. Who is going to be totally different from an asian girl who grew up in boston.
In fact, if I could give any advice to guys about dating and race in general, it would be to stop thinking and talking about race entirely. ESPECIALLY white guys, who are notorious for trying way to hard to be “cool with the ethnic people”. Don’t try to relate, don’t try to show how much you know about asian culture, just shut up 🙂 Speak to minorities like you would any other normal human being.
@donnie demarco
Huh, in one swoop, you totally contradicted yourself, while proving my point that it would be a good idea for BD to address this as best as he could.
First, you say “You can’t really do this, because cultural differences impact these things more than ethnicity.”…then you turn around and say, “….Don’t try to relate, don’t try to show how much you know about asian culture, just shut up. Speak to minorities like you would any other normal human being.”
First, you acknowledge there’s differences, yet you want to treat everyone the same…are you confused or just too lazy to do the necessary work?…. Differences should be acknowledged, respected and understood in order to have a successful interaction, connection and relationship.
But, thanks for your reply…
You’re correct, though there are still some similarities (like Asian-girl daddy issues).
Eddie
What demarco is saying is, if a girl doesn’t like you, for you being you, or is unwilling to follow through with her attraction for you — who cares. What the reason is, whether is has to do with cultural shit or SP in general — doesn’t matter.
He says this because there are a TON of non-asian guys who try and overcompensate with forcing commonalities. Keep all this in mind as I’m making a very significant point:
This is why I still refer to this article:
https://alphamale20.com/blackdragonblog/2012/05/31/determining-your-target-market-when-dating-women/
as one of BD’s best.
Now if you [any guy reading this] take a look at these, I forwarded them to the most important clips:
https://youtu.be/A2lhnJ3K8v4?t=1m20s
https://youtu.be/BjlY8_q5LDs?t=2m29s
Every guy’s job, and especially Asian guys, is to learn to identify women like THESE: Attractive Women who are UNAFRAID to admit they fucking Love Asian guys. There are more than you think. A LOT more. But you also have to be a guy who’s not ashamed to be Asian.
And to circle it back to the beginning of this comment, a non-Asian guy should go after the Asian women who already don’t mind or really like non-Asian guys.
Even myself, as an Asian guy, but a non-Chinese/Korean guy, has trouble with more SP’d Chinese and Korean girls who have parents that will only approve of other Chinese and Korean guys. I generally don’t waste my time with these women, except with those that don’t mind keeping me a secret.
Also, in reference to the videos I posted, if you take a look from the beginning of each video, there are two guys that host the video. One is more “shaggy”- and “chill”-looking while the other is more “put-together”-looking. I consider the more “put-together”-looking guy as too much. In my experience, Asian and non-Asian women alike have responded more favorably when I have longer hair and I dress in a way where it’s very clear I’m not there to impress them, which ironically does impress them (but this shouldn’t be surprising in any matter).
This is especially important because Asian guys are generally looked at as coming from a place of inferiority. And a lot of Asian guys do interact with women coming from that place. The more “chill” and “relaxed” look does better with more attractive non-Asian women because of how it communicates this sense of “I don’t need to impress you because women already like me” which in many cases automatically makes you stand out, especially as an Asian guy, but among guys in general.
(Not to mention, this is a “healthier” mindset. You should wear what you like. And focus only on the women that already like you, which is why I reference BD’s article on finding your target market. And if most guys just paid attention, they’d notice women actually do like them. Looking back in my own life, I’m surprised attractive women liked me when I was a scrub. The only person holding me back, was ME, thinking dumb shit like why would these hot white girls like me?)
My previous comment is awaiting moderation as I posted links.
But correction* “And if most guys just paid attention, they’d notice women
actuallydo like them…”the better word would be “already.”
And “Also, in reference to the videos I posted, if you take a look from the beginning of
each video…”I meant only the first video.
Lastly, in regards to the thinking behind how one chooses to dress out in public, “I don’t need to impress you because women already like me…”
The vibe would more accurately be described as “I already know you’ll like me.” Assuming you’re not doing something like wearing running tights to a formal event.
@ Gluteus_Maximus
OK, point well-taken… both videos and article references were good….but again if you really liked the Chinese/Korean girls and wanted to get with them, regardless of their SP…your possibilities for success increases ten-fold by using a different set of strategies and techniques with them than you would with a different race.
And, while cultural differences do matter and can play a significant role….at the end of the day, Confidence is King and Social Skills Rules and makes all the difference (provided you first understand the differences).
Hi BD,
All valid points you have mentioned in your article and I will work on incorporating them. I am of Chinese descent who was born in Malaysia and grew up in New Zealand, lived in the UK and USA. I have noticed the main problem is that there is no market for Asian men in all these Western countries I have mentioned.
I have lived in the UK for the last seven years. I have tried very hard and had no success in banging of the women there. I was in Los Angeles for the last three months and I have managed to shag three women of white, black and Hispanic ethnicities. I still insist there is no market for Asian men in the US because I have noticed a pattern of the women I have shagged in the US is that they are all into Asian men which means I was unable to get the majority of the American women who are not into Asian men.
When I return to the UK for a visit for a few weeks I don’t even try with the women as I know it’s a futile exercise and they treat me as if I am invisible. I just treat as if my penis doesn’t exist. British women are into black guys. British Government statistics confirms that most interracial marriages in the UK are mostly between black men and white women.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/10935508/Yellow-fever-fetish-Why-do-so-many-white-men-want-to-date-a-Chinese-woman.html
No, I’m asian and I’m telling you what asian girls say about men who try too hard to relate. They won’t say anything to you, but after the date they’ll tell all their friends and laugh about it.
It’s a separation between race and culture; if you try to relate to an asian woman based on how she looks, there’s a 99% chance you’re going to misread her culturally and she’ll instantly categorize you as a “clueless white guy”. (Which may not be a bad thing, some asian girls find that cute).
It makes me smile every time I see this. It really is more common than the media would have one believe.
Asian fathers can be real bastards, especially the old-school ones. We have our share of beta pussy dads too, though (this is more common with american-born asian men).
The underlying moral of what I was saying is, (using myself as an example of course, and this is more for other readers, future potential readers, especially my fellow Asian brothers) I’ve already been with and can get with Chinese/Korean girls — it’s just, why would I go out of my way to get with women who are still Chinese/Korean, who, through their attachments to their belief systems and what their parents think, make it extremely difficult on themselves to follow through with their obvious attraction for me.
I (you) can’t fuck and date all of the Chinese/Korean girls anyways. There’s too many.
On top of that, I (you) probably don’t just like ONLY Chinese/Korean girls. What about North American women, European women, Hispanic women, African women (though, personally not usually my type), the Japanese. That’s WAAY TOO MANY.
(Another) On top of that, I have the work I love doing, my hobbies.
To exaggerate:
You have 10 very cute to very hot Korean/Chinese girls that are very clearly attracted to you. Half of them speak English, the other half do not speak English and do not have much desire to learn how to speak English. I’m not gonna go out of my way to be fluent in Korean/Chinese, lmao, especially when I have all these other girls who already know how to speak English who like me. I will however, eat their food, and learn proper table manners for example, if I were to go to a very traditional restaurant.
Also, to add to when I said:
There are Westernized Asian women who refuse to date me and Asian men in general precisely because of SP. They are usually embarrassed of being Asian and so therefore being with other Asians. They don’t want to come off as TOO Asian, because to them, and probably the people they hang out with, Asians are inferior.
Why would I, spend my time with anyone who thinks I’m lesser.
I use these as examples of kinds of women to AVOID. There’s no use in trying to change them or convince them, when there are so many others who don’t need to be changed or convinced, or are willing to meet you halfway.
SP is probably the most important factor. I know it can be ignored for a bit in the beginning, if you have good game, this is how I find out whether or not they’re willing to keep me a secret, but for something longer-term, their SP is going to determine whether it will “work out” or not. If they really care what their parents will think, that can create a lot of stress for them, and for you. Not worth it.
lmao, no thanks. Whenever I “really really” like someone, I use that as an opportunity to fuck it up and get used to letting go of the idea of there being someone “perfect” for me.
@ Gluteus_Maximus
OK, much better understood..I get it.
BTW..never heard of Asians thinking they’re inferior. Inferior to what? Embarrassed to be asian?
If true, where does this come from… are you saying Asians feels they are inferior to whites (for example) and if so, who taught them to think that way.
It’s not that you may or may not have heard of it being said explicitly, you probably see it. But this manifests in a variety of different ways. Sometimes subtle, but to me are often times very obvious.
For instance, an Asian woman whose friends are mainly white. (But not to be mistaken for those who, for example, grew up in places where there was just not that much diversity. Or in the industry/ work environment, location she works or resides in. AND most importantly wouldn’t mind having more non-white friends.)
This is also evident in Asians who mainly stick together. All throughout my schooling, but especially in college, groups of Asian guys talk about trying to get with white girls, wishing they’d get with white girls, but I’d often seldom see them actually being with white people. This fascination with white people is also evident in forums.
Even if they don’t actually rearlly care about being with white people, the fact that they still behave as if they’d be seen as more awesome with a white girl… what does that say about how they think, their priorities.
Pale skin is treasured amongst Asian cultures. They have skin-whitening creams. Look at their Gangnam Style music video. Why the fuck is everyone pale? Koreans are notorious for getting plastic surgery to get rid of their mono-eyelids, and to instead have double eyelids. That’s the most ridiculous fucking thing.
Lmao, there are only so many reasons you get plastic surgery. The main one being an insecurity with how you look, what you were born with. Koreans, even as TEENAGERS are known to get plastic surgery. That shit is CRAZY.
Look at how Asians are mainly portrayed in media. You get that Asian chubby bobby guy from SNL. That weird skinny guy from Hangover that popped out naked from the trunk. They were sure to show him with his penis flaccid. These are Asian guys who are willing to humiliate themselves in order to get a laugh. And people are so gullible. And there aren’t that many super blockbuster films that show the other awesome stereotypes of Asians being badass ninjas and samurais (which is why I posted up the ninja video of Blizzard who influences millions and millions of people, as being important. what the fuck happened to Jet Li? Jackie Chan? There is that up-coming Donnie Yen guy though. Remember the movie “The Last Samurai”? Lmao why is Tom Cruise, a white guy the last samurai? And of course, he gets the asian girl). Why do you think the stereotype is so well known that Asians have small penises. This is not said about any other race. It’s meant to make fun of, condescend. These types of things are embedded in much of pop culture and people eat that shit up.
Not to mention, how Asian parents have strict and high standards for their kids. A bunch of Asian parents whoop their kids. If they don’t get good grades, you’re a disappointment. You don’t get into Harvard? WHAT THE FUCK? It’s stupid, but to many people, it’s very, very real and serious. And Asian parents don’t usually show much affection. And if you’re raised in western society and you hear about parents of other races hugging their kids, which are your peers, and telling them they how much they love them.
There’s a bunch of shit, I can get into but this is already getting fucking long.
But why do you think it’s such a big deal when there are white-asian couples. Just as it’s made a big deal when there are black-asian couples. Black people are too, often times seen as lesser.
If it were all normal, no one would make a big deal out of any of this shit.
Personally, I’ve grown passed all that and none of it really affects me. But I understand what it’s like.
@Gluteus_Maximus
Wow, that’s some serious insight…thanks for sharing. It really opened up my mind to see things from another perspective. That brings me to another curiosity. Is there a hierarchy in the Asian community?
For example…Japan at the top of the pyramid, followed by Korean, Chinese, Taiwanese, Vietnamese, Filipinos, etc…(I would find that info. fascinating, to say the least). Thanks.
Oh yea, and mentioned asian-white couples….and black-asian couples… wouldn’t it be a bit taboo and unacceptable for certain asians to date blacks, latinos and even whites for that matter?
Do Asians see each other as being better than one another? I’m sure there’s that too. You can get into the actual historical background of each nation. For example, Japan’s invasion of the Philippines and China during WW2. I don’t know if I’d go as far to say there’s an actual hierarchy that all Asians agree on.
Manila, Philippines used to be well known as the Pearl of the Orient. Now people are labeling Hong Kong (or Singapore, I forget) as the Pearl of the Orient. Filipinos are made fun as being the Mexicans of Asia.
But, just look at the order you wrote the nations in:
You listed them from First World to Third World, with consideration of SP and superficial stereotypes. Japan is known for producing sturdy, well-made automobiles, Nintendo, Super Mario, Mario Kart, Pokemon (games a lot of people default to saying when asked if they like video games and are from the 80’s). Koreans are known for making TV’s and washing machines, dryers, and spearheading E-Sports (more recent, but positive as there’s practically a TV in every household). China is known for making cheap knockoffs and shamelessly copying western products of all types, and not just things like household goods, but TV shows (China’s rise is also relatively recent but they have far more known “negative” stereotypes than Korea. Koreans are “known” to be good dancers, breakdancers, and pretty stylish, hip). It’s no surprise to me that you put those three in that order. The last three are more or less within the same “tier.”
This has been largely addressed in my statement:
Asians can be just as racist as anyone else. Asian/White is the most acceptable. This not only becomes acceptable but encouraged if this involves an Asian from a more Third World country, a poorer country. They can often be encouraged to marry Americans, or to stereotype it, White people, for money, status, things they have been taught to feel poor in after widespread introduction of Western ideas and influences through manufacturing, fast food, etc.
All these things considered, this is why when you come across a really, actually, cool experienced, confident, self-aware Asian guy, that motherfucker STANDS OUT.
For the Asian who understands this, the “negative” perceptions towards Asians can work completely in your Favor.
All these things considered, this is why when you come across a really, actually, cool experienced, confident, self-aware Asian guy, that motherfucker STANDS OUT.
Yea..this is true.. you really do standout and that’s a good thing. Hopefully, more Asians would be inspired to do the same.
BTW, my order was just an opinion because I really don’t know.
There’s an important distinction I should’ve made more clear. My above quote is more the manifestation of insecurity within Asian women, to marry white men, because “they have more.” For Asian men however, they feel insecure because they feel they do not have enough to offer to White women.
This is another angle in which to approach why Asians stick together. They understand the pressure. Also why White women are often put on a pedestal.
What I was saying is Japan > Korea > China is a fairly common opinion to have. In general, even I like Japanese culture and women more than I do Korean and then followed by Chinese. There is truth to Social Programming in certain aspects. SP affects us all, just to different degrees.
Just to add, I don’t really like to date women from poorer countries because my above last quote extends to Westernized Asian men. It might even be “worse” because they expect to relate more to us since we’re also Asian. It’s not that I don’t find them attractive, it’s just I find them to be more superficial — more caught up in the SP of thinking themselves as being lesser. The Asians of poorer nationalities that I’ve chosen to be with have been heavily Westernized, like myself, either born here or raised here, or grew up pretty wealthy overseas and have more self-worth. But I grew up poor and immensely insecure (and I was not born here), so wealth isn’t a requirement to have and develop self-worth.
Points well taken… but I do see some things changing…for example.
In the Philippines, many Koreans are there studying english and opening businesses and have filipinos as their girlfriends. Japanese guys are dating white American girls. And, this may be a little off track but many white American girls are dating Black American guys ( Black and White, interracial relationships are on the rise in America)….these are just a few examples and I don’t think it’s all because of money…just a new preference.
Having said that, I do think overall, traditional/cultural relationships still prevail.
“I do see some things changing”
Absolutely. Many things are. 🙂
Gluteus, I love you man but this is what I was trying to steer Eddie away from. You are talking about a *small percentage* of Asian women, but notice how that detail gets totally lost in the reply:
Eddie, I got off to a bad start with you on my first post. My goal was to help you. Let me try again:
Westerners have a tendency to stereotype Asians and treat them all the same. In response, Asian women have created their own stereotype for “clueless white guys”, and they actively test for this whenever a caucasian man approaches them. If they hear any of the following red flags:
“Asian girls seem to prefer white men”
“Asians seem to be more submissive in nature”
“Asians come to America for a better life/life is so hard in Asia”
“I’m cool with Asians, because I know all about <insert stereotype here>”
… then they will instantly assume that you don’t really spend much face time with Asians, and that most of what you know about Asian culture comes from TV/what you read on Facebook. I.e., stereotypes beget more stereotypes.
The upside to this is that there is a huge opportunity for Western men to separate themselves from the pack by simply avoiding the above stereotypes. Just follow the usual BD program and listen to the girl talk… Yes, some Asian girls will fit the stereotype, but it’s better for you to discover that during conversation than to assume that based on physical appearance.
TL;DR: Don’t do cold reads/special strategies based on ethnic appearance, the chances for failure are way too high.
@donnie demarco
Donnie thanks for sharing and explaining…all is well.
At the end of the day, we are all here for the same reason. To learn, share and get better.
Thanks again.
Lmao, to be honest, I didn’t really care about swaying any opinion or preconception he may have (had). I meant it when I prefaced:
However, he did surprise me when he said:
But I was only kind of surprised since I did include that preface, and my logic was sound.
And in that same exchange he made, he didn’t respond with anything except acknowledgement and inquiry. I went with my gut and indulged them.
But most importantly, even though I listed out hella negative stereotypes, it was him who actually brought up more of a positive note on his own:
(again, I don’t really care about changing anyone in particular’s opinion about anything. I know that what I say will be useful for those that it will be useful for, even if that person stumbles upon this page and these comments, months and years from now, just as what happens to me all the time. )
Overall, Eddie seems like a positive guy. My gut feeling seems to have been spot on. I give him the benefit of the doubt.
Any person who doesn’t understand the nuance of anything specific, such as what you mentioned me speaking of as describing a small percentage of Asian women, which I agree with, will find things out the hard way. Especially if they choose to ignore the fact I made sure to emphasize:
Because chances are, if you do have an above average affinity for Asian women, and you put in the numbers, you will encounter this. And much of what I said can be applied universally to different races. There are Black people who are ashamed to be Black. White people ashamed to be White and so on and so forth lmao. How they manifest may be a bit different in the minute details, but an important point to take away from this is: there are many reasons someone might “reject” you, even if you’re objectively very awesome. These reasons may be extremely dumb, arbitrary, and part of social conditioning, and so it can be useful to know to not take these things personally, especially for the up-and-coming Asian badasses. ;]
I don’t care THAT much about helping people, in regards to dating, otherwise I’d start my own blog and wouldn’t be anonymous, lmao. But I do care enough for Asians to make these posts for this article.
Additionally, it’s always fun hearing stories like this from Asian women:
As exemplified by this youtuber in this link, especially @ 0:21 — so I don’t think you (myself) should enlighten everyone. ;]
Guys who don’t get it, deserve to not get it, and deserve to be entertainment for those that do. :]
Mistake I see a lot of Asian guys making is automatically putting Non-Asian girls especially white girls on a pedestal. Even the average white girls are put on pedestal especially by Asian and Indian guys.
Remember, when girls say they love Asian guys, they mean they love the “TOP tier asian guys; Not the average asian guys”. Girls always want to best of the best (despite those girls being average themselves most of the time).
When I see Asian guys going beta and drooling over any average white girls is like a beta white guy drooling over any asian girl he sees. Both awkward.
Even if you have a girl who told you that she has a fetish for your race; you still want to be on the top tier on game AND looks.
Also girls say one thing and do another. They may say they like Asian guys but her feelings may change at any moment and she may not like Asians again and it may change all again.
Normally, top tier Asian guys go after top tier Asian girls. Also don’t limit yourself to just white girls; there are hot hispanic, black girls as well.
For Asian guys, biggest advantage you can put yourself is to immerse yourself in TOP tier social circles of Non-Asians. Someone here mentioned Steve Aoki. His looks only help little bit; as long as you don’t look disfigured ugly then you can do best to maximize it and move onto game and lifestyle. It’s his social status in the DJ community as well as his lifestyle and who he socializes that helps him the most; not his race. I seen many Asian guys that actually look like him that gets no pussy. Your lifestyle helps the most.
For white guys, I say the same. Hang out with TOP-tier Asian social circles if you can. That is how you get access to the hot, local women usually.
What data do you have for the assertion that “scientifically and statistically” Asians have smaller penises on average? This would be news to the millions of medical practitioners worldwide.
Oh, I don’t know, about about this…
https://medium.com/globalnewsasia/does-race-affect-penis-size-28a1e47e0748
and this…
https://worldpenis.tadaa-data.de/
and this…
http://www.penissizes.org/average-penis-size-ethnicity-race-and-country
The scientific data is pretty clear mate; Asian men have smaller penises on average than white men and black men, but not by much, which I think was the point BD was trying to make in his post.
azog, your first two links are not scientific studies. The second link uses data from a site (http://www.everyoneweb.com/worldpenissize) with fake statistics. The third lists 43 studies some of which were peer-reviewed. Only 3 are pertinent to East Asia. You cannot make a claim that it is “scientifically and statistically” valid that East Asians have smaller penises from 3 studies. There is also only 1 study from Africa, so if this is how science works, I could claim that Hispanics have smaller penises because one US study (Herbenick et al. 2014) found that they had almost the same size as Asians (14.13 vs. 14.14 cm). Or I can claim that Asians have the same size as Europeans as the difference in the same study is insignificant (14.14 vs. 14.18 cm). I have actually looked at the data in detail so I cannot accept these claims and explanation without hard data and analysis.
Do you have any advice for us balkan guys ? 🙂