Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Divorce
I didn’t want to talk about this. Seriously. As soon as I heard the news I just nodded, since it was something I’ve been expecting for many years, and went about my day. However, last week I received a bucket of emails from you begging (yes, some of you begged!) for me to talk about this.
I responded to some of them saying that if I wrote about this, it would simply be a repeat of what I’ve said perhaps thousands of times over the last eight years. But you guys still wanted me to write about this, and since this blog belongs to all of you as much as it belongs to me, I’m here to serve.
Brad and Angelina are considered royalty, not only here in the US but around the world. When the most beautiful man of the 90s-2000s shacks up with the most beautiful woman of the 2000s, it’s pretty much custom-made tabloid Disney candy for the entertainment press and the unwashed masses.
Of course I knew from day one that they would be headed for a breakup (not a divorce, since they were not married for most of their relationship). As always, it was only a question of when. Unlike other monogamous celebrity couples, my guess was that they would actually last around ten years, mostly because Brad Pitt is a total beta.
Wait a minute. Did I just say Brad Pitt is a BETA? Yep. He’s a classic example of betaization. A bad boy Alpha who marries (or co-habits in this case) a Dominant (Angelina) who cracks the whip on his ass and slowly, over many years, turns him into a pussy.
If you look up betaization in the dictionary, you’ll see a squinting picture of Brad Pitt. No wonder he smokes all that weed. If I was married to Angelia Jolie I would too. (If I was dating Jolie or banging Jolie, I’d be a happy boy. But if I was living with her in a monogamous, married-like relationship…ugh…pass that blunt, dude.)
Here’s what I said about Brad Pitt ten months ago in a comment on this blog:
For the record, I don’t consider Brad Pitt an Alpha any more. In every interview I’ve seen with him and Angelina, she looks like she wears the pants and he looks pretty whipped.
Just because a guy is good looking or famous doesn’t mean he’s Alpha. (Though he was probably Alpha on the way up to that condition.)
Yup.
As always, we need to start with the facts. (I’m not going to link to these, because I just don’t care enough about this silly shit, and since news about this has already taken over the internet. Feel free to Google these if you want to confirm them.)
Note: all allegations and suppositions at this point are simply those, and may be untrue. Also note that this post was written on September 23rd, 2016, so any new facts that have come to light since then won’t be reflected.
– Brad Pitt married Jennifer Aniston (another Dominant, though not as bad as Jolie) in 2000. Jennifer is someone I’ve written about before. In their continuous effort to shove false Disney Societal Programming down our throats, the marriage was considered by the media to be a “rare Hollywood success.” WAAAAHAHAHAHA! I knew back then their days were numbered, and so did you, unless you were a delusional moron.
– Since human beings are not capable of long-term sexual monogamy, by 2005 Pitt was cheating on his wife by banging Angelina Jolie. Brad then (essentially) left Aniston for Jolie, even though Aniston was the one who filed divorced papers, matching the statistics that it’s usually the woman who initiates the divorce 70-80% of the time.
– The Jolie / Pitt relationship has been widely considered by those in Hollywood to be “one that will probably work.” WAAAAAHAHAHAHA! As always, Disney and irrationality always trumps reality and objectivity. In a mental battle between emotions and reality, emotions will win almost every time.
– Jolie earned the hatred of women all over Hollywood for “stealing” Pitt from Aniston, much of which smolders to this day, as evidenced by Chelsea Handler’s recent rant, calling Jolie a psychopath. (Which may not be too far from the truth. Jolie used to make out with her brother and wear a bottle of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood around her neck.)
These people fail to remember that by fucking Brad Pitt, Jolie wasn’t violating any promises she made to anyone. That would be Pitt who was the liar and the violator. But for some reason, he got a pass and Jolie was made to be the bad guy.
If your monogamous wife fucks a dude because he’s hot, do you blame the dude or your wife? The correct answer is, your wife. She’s the one who cheated on you, lied to you, and violated promises she made. The dude she banged perhaps acted crassly, but he didn’t do any of these things. Sadly, people fail to remember this.
– Since Jolie had already been divorced twice (and Pitt once), they decided, or should I say, Jolie decided (since she clearly ran the relationship) to not get legally married. Good for them! Too bad they turned stupid a few years later.
– Since it’s pretty much a law that all Hollywood actors must be left-wingers, Jolie and Pitt later used the excuse that they didn’t want to get married until gay marriage was legal. They were full of shit of course, and stupidly and ridiculously got legally married in August of 2014, when gay marriage was still illegal. coughliarscough!
– Not being quite a stupid as Britney Spears, Jolie and Pitt did sign a prenup. It’s rumored that Jolie put an “adultery clause” in there, though reports conflict as to exactly what that means. Speculation ranges from Pitt getting royally divorce raped if he cheated on Jolie in any way, all the way to Pitt may actually be allowed to bang women on the side as long as he didn’t get serious with them (a standard OLTR rule, and a wise one). Of course, if Jolie allowed Pitt to get laid on the side, she would become one of my new heroes, alongside Will Smith and Jada Pinkett. However, reports conflict, this is just speculation, and we will probably never know the full truth.
– Since humans are not capable of long-term sexual monogamy, Pitt apparently cheated on Jolie, allegedly with a shockingly unattractive and married French actress named Marion Cotillard. (And I would bet $10,000 that Jolie cheated on Brad a few times during their 12 year “monogamous” relationship as well, but you won’t ever hear about this in the media. The media has a vested interest in keeping at least of semblance of Disney alive, so we can’t have both icons cheating on each other.) Marion Cotillard of course denies everything because her husband is standing right next to her. (Though in his defense, he’s French, so he would understand.)
– As I’m typing these words, Marion Cotillard has just announced that she’s…pregnant. Ohhhhh fuck. Again, she’s married, so this may mean nothing, but boy, the timing looks really bad. If Brad’s the father, then not only is he a beta, but he’s also a dumbass too. (Again, I wouldn’t be surprised. Brad Pitt never seemed very sharp to me.)
And for the record, yes, beta males cheat too. Betas are still men. The only difference is that betas wait much longer to cheat than an Alpha typically does.
– Jolie filed for divorce last week, once again showing that the woman is almost always the one who divorces the man, not the other way around. She swears the divorce has nothing to do with infidelity, only Pitt’s drinking, smoking, and parenting skills. So wait a minute, Sweetheart. After 12 years of living with this guy, now you’re suddenly pissed about this? Uh huh.
She has demanded full custody of their six children (three biological, three adopted) with 90% visitation time for her and 10% for Pitt. AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
– Pitt is now under official investigation for child abuse, since allegedly during a private flight, he got drunk and got violent with the kids and Jolie. Unfortunately, I think this is pretty likely, perhaps more likely than the affair allegations. Pitt admits “something happened” but is keeping public details quiet. Uh huh. These artsy actor types love to get drunk and violent. To see what this looks like, just take a look at the recent video showing Johnny Depp getting violent with Amber Heard, yet another utterly ridiculous and easily preventable divorce that should have never happened (because they should never had gotten married in the first place).
Still think marrying this shrew and having six kids with her was a good idea, Brad? You sad, silly dumbshit. Time to reap the poison whirlwind of modern day marriage, otherwise known as “divorce” and “losing your kids.” Good luck with that!
Just like when I talked about Scott Adams’s divorce, if I had sat down with Brad a few years ago and told him not to get married, that it would hurt him and hurt his children if he did so, he would have called me names and told me to fuck off.
Just like when I talked about Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore’s divorce, the woman in the divorce will now demand the most insane, irrational, unfair shit imaginable, putting the law and the culture on her side and putting the man on the defensive. She will likely get more of what she wants from the divorce and custody battle than he.
Just like when I talked about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ divorce, man and wife will now go to absolute war with each other, making fools out of each other, wasting years of their time for no reason, and permanently scarring both of themselves and their children. All because they couldn’t control their own false, irrational, bullshit, outdated, Disney urges despite knowing better.
As I’ve said, loving a woman, co-habiting with a woman, and/or having children with a woman doesn’t require a legal nor monogamous marriage. That shit doesn’t work any more, and hasn’t for several decades, and the divorce stats and infidelity stats get worse every year.
If you want to move in with her, follow these instructions here. If you want to have kids with her, follow these instructions here. It’s not difficult to do this stuff correctly and safely within the realties of a fallen world where lifetime marriage no longer exists, and where lifetime sexual monogamy never existed.
I know, I know. I’m sure when YOU get legally and monogamously married, none of this will happen to you. These People Are Just Dumb Celebrities™. Not like you. Oh no, you Know What You’re Doing™ and She’s Not Like The Rest™. Yeah. And when you send me that “Okay BD, you were right…” email in a few years when you’re sitting in divorce court or your child custody hearing, getting lectured by a female judge about what a horrible person you are while getting your wallet and savings accounts emptied, I’ll try to not remind you that you should have listened to me instead of calling me an asshole.
Next up on the soon-to-be-divorced list, Jay Z and George Clooney! Jay Z will probably go first. Ohhhhh, that’ll be so much fun. When Alpha Male 1.0s like that get divorced, the war goes nuclear. (Hopefully Clooney isn’t stupid enough to have kids with that ball-buster…)
And the classic “The woman blames everything on the man” and does not take any responsibility herself.
She was the perfect wife/mother.
Laughed when I saw Chelsea’s rant “I wonder why he would need to self-medicate? Maybe because he could have been spending the last 12 years at Lake Como hanging out with George Clooney and Matt Damon instead of being stuck in a house with 85 kids speaking 15 different languages. Oh yeah, because he married a f***ing lunatic, that’s why.”
The fact that lifetime monogamy doesn’t work is already a common secret. Any defenders are a tiny minority that is not worth arguing with to prove your point. 🙂
She has the worst waist to hip ratio I have ever seen in a ‘sex symbol’. Fake tits, fake face. Weird swings of anorexia etc. I bet her ‘odor’ is way off too. Her ass is mysteriously non-photographed generally. Maybe because she has the ass of a 52 year old marathoner. Then her self-importance in saving the world and that horrid UN refugee camp of a family.
Brad’s reaction to his ‘son’ is perfectly natural. Most male animals have a very primal instinct to kill off a dependent that is not the fruit of their loins. When a lion chases off another male and takes his lioness, the very first thing he does is kill the offspring. Brad had a very natural moment of hostility towards that kid that Jolie just had to have. He’s probably an incorrigible asshole of a kid too.
Team Brad.
He needs to get out and run through a series of 18-20 year olds.
There’s probably a legal reason why she has filed for divorce exactly two years after the wedding.
It just surprises me that anyone is left out there who is surprised when ANY couple splits up.
Oooooh, they were so happy. I thought they’d last for ever. Etc., etc., etc. 🙂
Hey BD, great post…and as you said, a lot of it was predictable …and anyway, who the fuck cares?
The small percentage of the rational people of this world, i.e. most of your readers, including my good self, ahem.., are not going to do this dumb shit, and cannot change the irrational (emotional) actions of the Great Unwashed…we can’t save them (coz they won’t listen to BD-style rationality) and they can’t save themselves, so…why should we care?
One question I’d like your views on:
I have it on reasonably good authority that, despite having sworn off marriage for years (although practising serial monogamy with GFs), the only reason that George Clooney has got married again is because in a few years’ time he intends to have a shot at running for President of the USA…and the common wisdom is that the Great Unwashed will not vote in a Rich, Single, Successful Playboy for President…do you have any views on this?
Besides the obvious… that the giant economic and political machine (i.e. Corporatisation) of the US, and the Western “democracies” <cough, cough>, is SO powerful that it has more money and more power than any single political leader, including the President of the US…supposedly the most powerful political leader in the world?
Poor George…he thinks that he will actually be able to “make a difference” 🙁
Or is he secretly just another obedient puppet serving the interests of the de facto Global Aristocracy of giant Global corporations that rule the Corporatised planet on which we now live?
Or maybe it is just another novelty goal for him, as he has already conquered Hollywood / World Wide Fame and Celebrity?
I hope Geroge got bullet-proof legal advice on his pre-nup…because if he didn’t, his new wife is a Human Rights Lawyer and when she divorces him he is going to get divorce-raped up the ass, good and hard…
I wonder what you think about Kanye and Kim
That’s actually quite generous compared to normal, no? Usually its a weekend a month or something like that. Sucks that everything is so anti-dad when it comes to divorce. At least after my mom ran out on me I was able to elect for my dad to have custody (although that was a mistake, my mother wound up to be more alpha than my dad lol).
This obviously proves that monogamy is obsolete, I’m just wondering how exactly it got this way.
That question doesn’t even deserve an answer. lol
Does it even demonstrated a woman doesn’t love you unconditionally, only practical while these men, typical beta believed that woman just like their mom? Loves them forever. I’m not sure about the domestic violence. It could be a false allegation used against brad just like the same standard procedure most women use against men. And since the famous celebrity couple divorces so many times. What’s the reason for normal citizen like us to get married? Plain stupidity.
Once u go red pill/mgtow, u just woke up! Life is all about pretense of fakery, especially being propagated in the media.
BD – I’ve read most of your pieces on this topic and gotta say – you begin the article bemoaning how you’re just repeating yourself and it’s getting tiresome yadda yadda…
But to your credit – seeing the accumulation of all your work/thoughts on this sort of defeatedly scrawled out in this new piece – makes it the most forceful one you’ve yet done on this topic IMO. Well done sir.
“The fact that lifetime monogamy doesn’t work is already a common secret. Any defenders are a tiny minority that is not worth arguing with to prove your point.”
I disagree. They are mostly defenders, in spite of the cognitive dissonance you can easily prove to them.
As someone who’s recently getting over the shell-shock of being cheated on after ~4 years by a girl who I assumed was Not Like The Rest – I have had what, for me, is a stunning insight: the people closest to you can fully witness your raw suffering from the cheating – and they will still become reflexively defensive when you wonder aloud if monogamy just may not work, period.
Think about that. They are seeing you in your darkest hour, and yet they can not even acknowledge the possibility that you might renounce monogamy going forward, in order to alleviate your suffering and have a happier and more peaceful life. They have too much invested. So – they feel the need to correct the record (“No, you’re mistaken. You just haven’t met the right special someone yet”) instead of responding even neutrally to what you’ve just said (“Huh, interesting…I see where you’re coming from”). It’s almost like – they want you to suffer, so that they too can maintain their illusions.
Put the shoe on the other foot – say an irrepressibly Disney-type were lamenting the loss of love and saying “I know there’s gotta be the right special person out there who will make me happy someday” to someone nonmonogamous. That nonmonogamous person will virtually never – in the throes of that loved one’s suffering – try to ‘correct’ them or point out how they’re ‘wrong’ for their Disney-esque monogamous longing.
That was a big realization for me.
Pitt is the classic ‘paper Alpha’, i.e. his fame & looks mean he could have almost any woman he wants. But in reality he is actually so beta that he gets legally married to a depreciating asset, a psychotic woman who cut off her own breasts and filled his house full of third world children that aren’t biologically his. Relationships that start via cheating usually end that way too.
As BD pointed out, the woman Pitt cheated with is nothing special. And has any woman ever hit the wall harder than Jolie? She was gorgeous in Tomb Raider but look at her now. It amazes me that one of the most famous & desired men on the planet seems unable to have non-monogamous relationships with attractive young women and a complete nobody like me can. That’s the advantage of an Alpha mindset – it sounds impossible but I’m fucking a hotter, younger woman than Brad Pitt currently is. Madness.
Exactly! That’s what I’d be doing if I was Pitt. He could be fucking a different one every day. What a dumbfuck.
I agree with everything you said except for Marion Cotillard. Clearly she’s not your cup of tea, but damn she’s fine. Also she probably gets bonus points for being a sort of forbidden fruit, and being new pussy, as opposed to 12-years-running pussy, or whatever Jolie is. I mean, compared to Arnold and the maid, she’s pretty much a 10. Borderline 11.
Cotillard is just OK, Pitt has the capability to be fucking a much, much hotter woman than her. She actually looks a bit like one of my psycho ex-girlfriends lol
“Team Brad.”
No fuckin’ way. The entire relationship started off by him making the decision to cheat on Aniston. Maybe Aniston actually was faithful for those ~5-6 years, we don’t know. In fact, she has the type of wit/sarcasm/ability to passively cut someone down with a snide remark – where she might actually have had the constitution to tell other aggressive men to fuck off. For 5-6 years? It wouldn’t shock me. So fuck Brad Pitt, he dug his own septic tank.
Re: George Clooney –
That is interesting. I had not heard that but you may well be onto something there. He marries a strong-looking woman with an Arabic-sounding name. Stroking all the right feelz of the more far-left Dem contingent.
He holds a $10K-a-plate fundraiser for Hillary late last winter, while she was still threatened by Bernie. He has always aligned more with Bernie’s views, but he had to know she would win the Dem primary. So he casts his lot with the winner and now the more mainstream center-left Dem establishment will owe him one.
I still don’t see Hillary losing Florida, but if she does…
Clooney vs. Trump in 2020
BD, I’m for one am glad you took the time to write this article…only thing that puzzles me is why get married at all after 10 years of dating… I’ve seen this before, when a couple have been together for many years, then decide to get married and then turn around and get divorced shorty thereafter…really, what’s up with that?
And, what’s your insight of Kanye and Kim (I for one don’t believe that first kid is his).
Thanks
With the words of the great Tump: She is no longer a 10.
Whenever I did read new shit about Brangelina in the past years i felt the urge to vomit. How the fuck can a guy such a Pitt be such a pussy?
She wanted to bring 3rd world bastard child into the house. >He was a good boy and said “fine”
She wanted another one and one more. >He said: “Everything you want darling”
She wanted to cut her breasts off. > He stood there like a moron “If you think this is the best, i am happy when you are”
She lost way too much weight and looked unhealthy like shit. > He defended her “healthy lifestyle”
http://www.giga.de/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/shutterstock_183568112-kotzsmiley-rcm992x0.jpg
This woman is full of shit and would have needed a strong hand. Not such a wuss named BP.
Damn this angelina is one big shittest and our society failed miserably.
Now that she is getting old and lost her looks the poison and hate will increase. As she will be getting more and more invisible and miserable I wouldnt be surprised if she starts seeing suicide as a more and more viable option. Stupid rich people.
Damn BD
You should have your own column in a celebrity magazine. That shit is f***ing excellent.
Some random people got divorced… Who cares.
Thank you, readers, for wasting BD’s time on this stupid topic.
Modern society rules are 100% pro women.
Why are you guys soooooo angry!
‘Stood there like a moron’. Really, what is he supposed to say. I don’t care if you get cancer. You must keep those breasts because I’m Alpha and what I say goes.
I think it is telling though that when there is nothing left for her to achieve in the relationship; Got the hunk, got the kids, finally got married… Shit, I’m bored now, still not happy. Must be him.
Some of you guys don’t seem like Alphas 2’s though.
Me, I’m following BDs advice and boy, I am nice and chilled. It feels gooood. You should try it.
Hahaha, prompt the angry responses…
The frustrating thing is that every time a celebrity couple splits up/divorces, the media are just looking for “who caused it” (either they pick one of the two partners and make it his/her fault, or they “identify” the outsider who seduced one of the two and “ruined the couple”), and it’s never ever considered that there might be a general principle rather than an isolated reason behind this: that long-term monogamy doesn’t work.
Some, but not most. As I’ve said in a comment once, adoption is no entirely unnatural for humans: for example, the fact that many people consider their adopted brother as a “real brother” is due to a “whoever was with me in the nest” instinct: an instinctive, genetic “gamble” that whoever was raised with you is related to you. That’s why friends who knew each other since childhood usually don’t have sex with each other: they’re controlled by the same instinct as incest avoidance, because their “blind” genes are betting that if you were raised/lived with X since childhood, then X must be your relative. For similar reasons, there’s nothing anti-biological about adopting a kid, and people who scream about how it’s “insulting to your genetic legacy” need to read more and scream less. Oh, and BD has an adopted son, folks.
I agree, I too was surprised when I read that.
Agree with that too LOL, this article should go viral. What the hell, I’m sharing it.
The problem is the vast majority of people still behave as if it works. And when it doesn’t, we all suffer the fallout.
He will.
Very good point.
I have no idea if that assumption is accurate. I think he just wanted to get married because he’s getting older. But my view on it is A) monogamy still won’t work (look at Bill and Hillary) and B) yes, you have to be married to run for president because of Societal Programming.
I’m sure he got a prenup. As to pullet-proof, I doubt it, since he lives in California, which is one of the worst places in the world, if not the worst, to get legally married. Prenups are not enforceable there.
It’s a marriage of convenience/business. Just like Bill and Hillary are married for political reasons, Kim and Kanye are married for frame reasons. They’ll be divorced in a few years. (Bill and Hillary would have been divorced decades ago were it not for their mutual political ambitions.)
Wow. Thank you.
Correct. Some of monogamy’s biggest defenders are those who have been burned by it the most, such as those who have been divorced multiple times, or cheated on multiple times, etc. This is particularly true of women.
Yep. As I said, Disney and false Societal Programming always win over objective reality and long-term happiness.
Disney is exciting. Reality is often painful.
But we’re talking about Brad Pitt here. He could have chosen literally any woman, any forbidden fruit on the on the planet. And he chose…her?
Arnold is a completely different case and you can’t compare the two. Arnold has said in interviews that he doesn’t have a type at all and is attracted to “all” women. Short, tall, big boobs, small boobs, chubby, athletic, etc. I wasn’t surprised at all he banged the ugly maid. That’s Arnold. 🙂
1. Societal Programming (“we’ve been together for so long…why not get married now?”)
2. Age. People feel the need to get legally married as they get older. Notice Pitt got married as soon as he turned 50, much like Gene Simmons got married when he crossed 60. Not a coincidence.
3. Social pressure. I imagine most of their friends and family were pushing them hard to get married. Eventually most people succumb. Tribal influences are powerful on us irrational human beings.
The staff of the Young Turks often complain that they have to post “stupid” videos about Kim Kardashian and stuff, and that they are the most profitable videos they do, so they can do their “important” videos about politics that get less clicks and make less money.
The same applies here. Just look at the number of comments even though this post is just a few hours old.
This post will likely be one if the highest trafficked posts on this blog for 2016.
The good news is that these stories do bolster all of my points, and do help get the word out, so in that respect they’re not a waste of time, even though, yes, I would rather be writing about more important topics.
Everyone’s divorce story is different. Mine was horrible and I’m the one that filed and left. While its easy to morph from an alpha to a beta because of one thing…a desire for children. This was Brads desire and Aniston wouldn’t give them to him. His mistake was picking Jolie because she used that desire to control him. Watch her adopt a few foreign kids and to preserve her brand she did the biological thing. After awhile he got tired of her but wouldn’t leave his kids.
The same issue many of us face. Stay and be abused or leave and lose your money and access to the kids. The custody battle will not end and the nicest women morph to crazy because they see when a good man values his kids despite seeing the crazy of the ex
Even Joe Manigellio will leave Sophia Vergara after he maximizes sex for a couple years because he wants kids and she can’t give them to him.
There are only so many George Clooney Justin Theroux liberal betas out there for these crap women who really have their choice of men.
Erin Andrews Katarina Witt and those types who don’t have kids but are what true alphas love end up suppressing this child desire because of their insecurities Or images. Men cant do that
Pitt just got caught up in what many of us do when we push 40 and are used to being the alpha. We make bad choices in wives or baby mamas and become betas to have kids
Brad will be fine and will be back to banging young hotties. Jolie’s a nut who deserves her misery and her non biological kids and new washed up royalty boyfriend. The biological kids will go with Brad.
He got kids and he will see it was worth the trade. Most men including myself who lost it all financially but who have their kids do too
…and to think I actually wanted to marry my ex. (Sighs) Goddamn I feel fucking relieved. I hope Brad has learned his damn lesson and cut the married crap once and for all. BTW, the JayZ George Clooney comparison was funny as hell. JayZ has already slept around on Beyonce. Just goes to show that monogamy is fiction.
Yay, when this happened in the news I was hoping Blackdragon would do a post on it!
Leaving is better for both you and the kids. Unless you are a horribly abusive father, you won’t lose access to your kids. You just will see them several days a week instead of every day. Plus, having your kids watch you get abused by your wife is not good for the kids.
I can tell you for a fact my kids were happier after my divorce, and my relationship with both of them improved. Today they’re both amazing young adults.
And if he does he’ll be wrong. He could have had those kids (and did!) without the legal or monogamous aspects of the marriage/relationship.
Of course he has. And sooner than people thought. Alphas don’t do sexual monogamy regardless of what they promise.
The fact that even Brad Freakin’ Pitt is actually a beta (now, at least) makes me realize how misguided mainstream standards of what counts as ‘successful’ really are.
Thanks BD, that makes total sense now…because normally a woman will pressure a guy into marriage (after dating for many years) to get that EASY MONEY, legal payday (alimony), the status boost that marriage brings and to satisfy her Disney fairytale…. all of which Angelina already had.
But, the SP, Age and social pressure answers makes much better sense… thanks.
Wow, celebrities are much more messed up than I thought.
I will confess, I know next to nothing about the “beautiful people” in Hollywood and who they are.
No. She loves you unconditionally. And afterwards she doesn’t. That’s the problem in relying on her love.
Ha ha. Of course you jumped at the opportunity!
Bingo. Kanye and Kim are a lot smarter than people give them credit for, and I’m sure their eventual (planned?) divorce will be extremely lucrative.
And for that reason I asumed you writing about this topic wouldn’t be a total waste of your time. Thanks to SP and Disney now you’re making money almost without moving a finger. Ha ha, you should thank Society for that #irony
Thanks for all the eye opener information sir, you really deserve the money you’re getting now.
Actually, that’s not far from the truth. Things are getting so bad and so obvious that I barely need to “convince” people about this stuff anymore.
When I first talked about this stuff publicly 8-9 years ago, guys’ heads exploded. Today, even normal, societal programmed people just quietly nod in reluctant agreement.
Out of everybody that you’re right about, you might be wrong about Jay Z’s divorce happening soon.
I would put a little money on Jay Z staying with Beyonce for at least 5 more years. Jay Z and Beyonce are they only ones I have a little bit of respect for. If they can’t do it then I don’t think anyone can.
I disagree but the exact timing on this stuff is always hard to predict. The point is they’ll be divorced at some point. Just watch.
They can’t. And won’t. Just watch.
Jada Pinkett has always had a unique kind of badass rocker-chick public identity. Queen Bey’s public identity is not like this at all. Jay-Z is already cheating on Bey, so as BD says they are already, by definition, NOT in a monogamous relationship (any longer). Whereas badass rocker-chick Jada Pinkett had the courage to hint at the open marriage with Will Smith – do you think Miss Perfect Queen Bey could/would do the same? I definitely don’t. They will have to divorce because Bey can’t make the pivot publicly, it would be too humiliating based on her public identity. She will ‘have to show the world she has self-respect’ blah blah blah…and divorce him at some point. (An aside – I wonder how long it’ll be til it becomes publicly alleged that Bey is 7 years older than her Wiki page says and Solange is actually her 14-years-younger daughter.) I’d bet good money Bey is fucking other dudes on the DL anyway (and probably has been for at least 6-8 years now). What a fuckin’ facade all of this is.
Well, yeah, a woman loves ‘unconditionally’ when the conditions are in her favor. She loves ‘unconditionally’ but once conditions change then there is time for re-assessment.
One further note, Angelina is a borderline anorexic with disgusting arms and hands. She chopped her fake tits off and Hollywood/her press manager have had to go to great lengths to conceal the fact that she has square hips and a withered, horrible ass. With her veganism (probably), anorexia, wastoid 3 child hips, always horrible ass and Frankenstein scars on her chest, we are talking about an absolute physical catastrophe in bed. How is the best looking guy in the world supposed to put up with that? Like a guy said above, it’s weird to think that I am getting better, far younger tail than Brad F’ing Pitt. Ha ha. Not saying much though. It reminds me of that photo of Beckham scoping out that healthy-hipped 20 year old Laker cheerleader when his own wife got so lean and vascular that she probably had veins on her ass.
I’m so glad that I am alive for the first few years of the male imperative. It will soon be legislated away, I think.
Don’t be deceived. Unconditional love from a woman, for a man, is impossible.
A woman can ONLY love, a man, conditionally.
A woman’s love is based on her feelings (which will change) and/or the resources you can provide, period.
The only person a woman can love unconditionally is her child (and herself).
I heard it on the radio.
First reaction was: Meh, celebrity news. Give me update on the traffic or weather instead.
Next thought: Hmmm…BD so called it (didnt know it was a comment, I thought it was a post).
Then: I wonder if he’ll make a new post about this…Nah. There wouldnt be anything relatively new or insightful.
Then I saw the new post: Whoa, he did make a new post about this…wait…is that a good thing or bad thing. Hahaha!
Off topic…
But, on sublimeyourtime, how come you turn off comments?
Hi BD,
When I saw the news, I admit I thought of your writings.
I have an interesting story with a lesson (if a little offtopic) – I’m 23 and in very good shape, was jogging on a beach and hit on a hot girl who was lying by herself. She was 28, 7-8/10 I’d say, and had high ASD. She figured out our age difference quickly and said “she no longer does this”, was now looking to settle down with someone and needs to get to know them first etc…
Anyway we spoke for a bit and the subject of younger girls-older guys came up and she said I should go for younger girls. I complained how most younger girls are not interesting, and here’s the lesson: she said she was also not interesting/mature when she was in teens/early 20s, but the man should find a younger woman and if she follows his lead in the relationship, she will become more mature quickly.
So older guys who don’t go after younger women because they’re dumb/immature/childish are making a huge mistake and not thinking long term – if the man is older, experienced and leads the woman properly, it will accelerate her “growing up” curve and she will become mature quickly, while also having the looks of a young girl.
So don’t dismiss a young woman just because she’s childish NOW – think long-term.
While we are talking about divorce, does anyone know where in far east / south east asia you can have enforceable prenup? It seems not in Singapore and Hong Kong. The way things are moving I don’t think there would be many places left where you can have one and then getting married with enforceable prenup more or less is an option which is not available in reality.
Mr Dragon
Have you seen this?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3036709/Man-TWO-live-girlfriends-share-child-rearing-date-nights-kingsize-bed-wants-woman-in.html
i don’t know if you’ve seen Eddie Murphy’s “new” partner, Paige Butcher…
She’s HOT.
like HOT HOT HOT.
H O T.
she beats the shit out of any woman mentioned on this page. (IMO of course, except not really lmao, just kidding)
they’re 4 years or so last I checked, with a baby on the way. lmao, i actually do hope they never get married and stick together, but we’ll see.
So a former Alpha who’s been betaized in a relationship can return to Alpha status again?
And does all it take is for Brad to bang hot 18-20 year olds? I imagine that would be a start, but BD says he’s been betaized for so many years….what will it take for a guy like Brad to restore his Alpha-ness? For starters, I suppose we could figure out a way to get him to read this blog.
P.S. Sheesh! I can’t believe I’m commenting about Pitt/Jolie. But I will try to justify my actions by reminding myself that this is a teachable moment 😉
Very good analysis and you are exactly right. Beyonce’s Strong Independent Woman™ frame and persona requires her to divorce Jay Z at some point. Jada’s frame is much more outcome independent.
Jada Pinkett is the rare breed of “strong independent woman” that I actually like. I wish there were more women like her.
Great comment.
Yep. I’ve said many times she looks like a heroin addict. It’s sad, because she was SO HOT 15 years ago when she was Lara Croft.
All unconditional love is impossible (with the exception of the love you have for your children).
Love, by its very nature, not only is conditional, but must be. As always, people forget that love is just a few squirts of chemicals in your brain, based on 100% temporary and external factors. How can that not be conditional?
(BD hits paste)
1. I don’t give away customized business advice for free, since there’s a dollar value attached to such advice.
2. I don’t have time to respond to comments on three blogs. I can barely do it with two.
Yes, a long time ago. We’ve discussed it many times here before.
Too skinny and gross for me. I hate the Skinny body type. (Though she borders on Athletic, but I don’t like that body type either.)
Yes, if he wants to bad enough. And he’ll likely go beta again down the road. It’s the standard long-term Alpha 1.0 model. Alpha to beta, beta to Alpha, Alpha to beta, etc. Jesus. (I’m so glad I’m not a 1.0. Forever Alpha is so much easier.)
For Brad to start banging 18-20 year olds is not as easy as it would sound. He’s a 52 year-old man who’s been betaized for about 12 years, so that this point he probably things having sex with women that young is gross or inappropriate. He’s also likely going to not want any type of relationship that looks or feels like an FB, and will want strong feelings attached, which automatically raises the odds for oneitis.
He can go Alpha again, but he’s going to have to work very hard at it mentally. For a 52 year old man who’s been in beta mode for 12 years, that’s going to be difficult. However, Brad is a famous good-looking celebrity, so it won’t be nearly as hard for him as it would be for a guy who wasn’t rich or famous. As usual, the rules for celebrities are a little different.
Hahahahaha
I just read that and the results of the poll in the following article.
That makes me happy because I’m one of those guys in the end you mentioned who genuinely, authentically, loveliciously has a strong natural desire for skinny women. Paige Butcher is actually like right on the edge of skinniness that I’m usually comfortable dating and having sex with lmao
Growing up as a scrawny little asian boy probably explains it. Even as I got more muscular starting in my mid 20’s, that affinity has never gone away.
It’s not surprising they split shortly after marrying, given that they obviously never really wanted to be married or they would have in the previous 10 years. It seems like that happens a lot where you have a couple that is together longterm for like 10 years without marriage (indicating it isn’t a value for them), and then they get married and quickly divorced. It’s probably because the marriage is the last-ditch attempt at doing *something* to revive the crumbling relationship when it becomes obvious that it’s falling apart.
I notice this on facebook too…couples who get divorced are always posting all this lovey dovey shit and pictures declaring how much they value each other in the months right before they suddenly announce divorce. They’re trying to convince themselves out of the inevitable. Most couples give their falling apart relationship an injection of energy at the end right before it finally becomes completely apparent that they can’t keep up the sham and keep pretending it’s as enjoyable as it used to be. If I see a couple that’s been together more than 5 years who all of the sudden are super publicly demonstrative with their romance and love, to me that’s usually a sign they’re about the split.
I have noticed a few of my 30-something friends who got married in their 20s, who are still married, have suddenly started posting photos of their wedding day on facebook. Like they’re trying to recapture their fantasy princess day…even though I haven’t seen a single photo of their husband, or of much of anything other than pics of their kids, for years. I should start laying some bets on the countdown to those divorces.
My own parents went on the only no-kids fancy vacation that they ever went on, in their almost-two-decade marriage, just a couple months before they divorced. That’s just what people do. I believe you call it an “extinction burst”. Last ditch attempt to throw lots of energy at something that is no longer rewarding, before you finally give up.
There’s no reason for Angelina and Brad to stay together. They are both far cries from their previously hot versions and they both have more money than they could possibly want, and I’m sure they no longer like fucking each other anymore. I remember when they first got together but were denying it, hotel employees were reporting to the tabloids about their wild screaming monkey sex, which I guarantee is not happening anymore. So what’s the point of staying together? They can still be friendly after they divorce if they still like each other.
People at the tippy top and people in the bottom half both have nothing to lose in a divorce, though for the opposite reasons. Which is why they both divorce so frequently. Same reason why it’s the people at the tippy top and the people in the lower half who do all the drugs and drinking — nothing to lose.
Double-income upper-middle class educated professionals have the most to lose because their social class and lifestyle requires sending their kids to fancy colleges and a bunch of shit that neither can afford on their own — that’s the only reason they’re the most likely to stay together. For the middle class, they are scraping by increasingly and will continue to disappears since we no longer have the massive post-WWII wealth transfer that created the middle class in the first place, which means divorce will become more common for everyone other than the affluent double-income professionals.
No one wants to fuck the same person they’ve been fucking and living with for 25 years, frankly it’s weird and incestuous, and people just need to get over it. Living decisions should not be based on sex unless you don’t have a choice (which many don’t, because they can’t maintain their standard of living alone). It helps to keep your standard of living low.
P.S. Hot tip for anyone who wants to watch a completely realistic, depressing as shit depiction of married sex in a monogamous marriage: watch the first episode of the new show called “Easy” on Netflix. Omfg. The only thing that isn’t realistic is why a chick like that would ever marry such a fat schlub, but otherwise the depiction of the sex at the end of the episode is EXACTLY what is going on in the households of most long-term monogamous couples. Cringe-inducing. Should be required watching for blue pill guys (and girls, for that matter) wanting to get married, though.
Poor Anthony Bourdain he lost his young wife too
The challenge for a celebrity of Brad’s kind, is they don’t have the ability to meet normal women, as they’d get mobbed in public. They can only meet other female actors, models, or wealthy women who attend invitation fundraising events, that are aimed at only rich people.
I don’t live in the US, so I’m not sure if divorce laws vary from state to state, but if a celebrity or rich person chooses not to marry someone who they have kids with and they opt to have a defacto relationship where they live together, it’s probably fair to say the other person could still make a legal claim to their assets, in the event of a split.
So it’d be essential to have a legal agreement drawn up in the event of a split, but the question is, how legally binding would such an agreement be and do those things also vary from US state to state.
Some states yes, some states no. Like you said, it depends on the state. There are indeed states where this kind of thing is more or less safe as long as you take the proper precautions (which most men don’t bother to take).
The problem with celebrities is that they tend to live in California or New York, two of the worst states in the world for this kind of thing. If you live with a woman in California for many years and have kids with her, yeah, you’re probably screwed regardless of marital status or whatever you made her sign (though getting legally married does make it a lot worse). The answer is to do never get legally married and do it outside of California, but that would require balls that betas like Brad Pitt don’t have.
I’m kind of surprised you think Marion Cotillard is unattractive. I thought you liked the big ass/tits…I guess she’s not blonde.
http://www.trbimg.com/img-54b82723/turbine/la-et-mn-oscar-nominations-2015-lead-actress-marion-cotillard-20150115
Yuck. No, that’s not hot to me, regardless of how her tits look (and they’re not big either).
Jennifer Aniston is a dominant? I always thought she’s a submissive, princess type
@ Leon
Take a good look into her eyes. She never stops calculating and weighing up the world and people around her. She was born that way.
@Kryptokate
Watched the episode of “Easy” last night-spot on. All the way from them both jacking off by themselves in different rooms of the house at the same time to “spicing things up” with costumes which was a total fail. The big finale of “wife-sex” was pretty sad. The look on her face said it all. I assume an upcoming episode will involve her fucking some alpha guy she works with.
That’s exactly what she wants you to think.
Not just “one”, but the male side. Haven’t you watched TV in the last 15 years? It’s one side that cheats, only one.
As for Jolie being psychopatic, that is unhinged by power, a brief look at her eye assures of it.
Relieved to know it doesn’t happen only to me. I gave up long ago though. No way to awake them; if they have never been married, chances are 0%.
Society and public opinion reward the Disney pretence too much for normal people to resist its allure.
Besides, for the majority of women, who marry with somebody who wasn’t their first, second, or third pick at all but only the best they could get at that time, the day of the wedding is the most important day of the entire marriage.
The more they don’t like him, the more they’ll obsess over the marriage, that is, the appearance of one.
At least, in return for enduring their “marriage”, they get some recognition by society.
We all know that monogamy doesn’t work. So did Oscar Wilde apparently. He said this: (perhaps – it’s debatable, but funny anyway)
“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy can be the same.”
“Besides, for the majority of women, who marry with somebody who wasn’t their first, second, or third pick at all but only the best they could get at that time, the day of the wedding is the most important day of the entire marriage.”
I feel bad for the guy that marries my ex. Hope he enjoys my leftovers. Girlfriend sex is superior to wife sex. 🙂
@BD,
Skinny chicks ain’t so bad. I felt the same way UNTIL I moved to Korea. After 3 years, I got use to it. Chicks with too much ass doesn’t do it for me anymore….too much work.
I’ll have to steal this one for when people ask me why haven’t I been married yet.
To me the worst part is always the wasted Alpha potential.
Even in his 50s Brad still can be with any woman he chooses! Any! If he wasn’t a celebrity, just because of his looks there will always be pussy flowing effortlessly to him. A guy like that needs 0,99% of game, if that much.
But because he’s turned beta for too long, as BD cleverly pointed out, and is going to deal with a psychopath ex who’s gonna do whatever she wants with him, he’s probably mentally fucked for good.
His fault? Of course! But sad at the same time…
You should elaborate on you’re distaste for marajiuana. I’ve been following your posts for a year or so and am curious as to your reasoning behind not condoning pot. I share similar views to you and from what I’ve read share a similar lifestyle to you, buisness owner, entrepreneur, non monogamous but I can’t lie I do take a toke from time to time and have been since my late teens. I in no shape or form would be the poster child for the drug but in recent times where the use of maraijuana is being condoned and more socially accepted. I would like to hear you elaborate on why you personally don’t condone it. Thanks
I do so in my book. The summary is that as a libertarian I think marijuana should be 100% legal across the board, but if you have strong goals in life, you should avoid it since I’ve known too many people who were motivated until they started smoking it regularly, and it killed their motivation. (And yes, I know there unusual exceptions to this rule, but you don’t know if you’re one of them until it’s too late.)
Angelina and Brad weren’t monogamous though. Their divorce is actually proof that the polyamory/open marriage/nonmonogamous structure does not work.
Angelina Jolie in 2011: “I doubt that fidelity is absolutely essential for a relationship. Neither Brad nor I have ever claimed that living together means to be chained together. We make sure that we never restrict each other. ”
You know, Caleb, I’ve been lurking around your blog for the past day or so and I don’t know what to say to you now that I’ve gone through the trouble to post a comment. Your views are not in line with mine, but you’re much less offensive than most MRA types and even not quite as irksome as some self-proclaimed “alphas.” You’re still way off base though. I don’t presume to be qualified to diagnose you, but isn’t it possible that the problem is in fact fact with you and not with socially programmed “betas”? Instead of insulting their masculinity, why not reflect the lens of scrutiny onto yourself? Maybe it’s not that 85% of society is wrong and has been programmed against their nature? Because, in fact, that doesn’t happen at such a large mass. Monogamy is how our society has evolved. It is natural. Justifying being a whore (of either gender) is like the overweight people who claim eating a lot is natural. It’s not. Having sex with copious partners isn’t what humans have naturally evolved to do. You, Caleb, having the desire to do it doesn’t make it natural. Sometimes as a human and an adult you have to resist your urges. You don’t get everything you want. Anyway my point is you’re probably a sex addict.
Genuine question: Is it your hope that your daughter ends up with a man like you?
Abby, literally every item you brought up is something I’ve already refuted in detail. Since I’m Mr. Helpful, I’ll provide you with links so you can see why you’re wrong.
It is not my contention that open marriages “work.” Read item number 41 here.
That’s because I’m a happy guy who loves women instead of being angry or threatened by them.
As I have already said to many haters/doubters, immediately trying to psychoanalyze me instead of responding to the facts and statistics I present simply tells the world you have no points to refute what I say, otherwise you would respond to my points instead of trying to change the subject to me.
I have done so, in great detail. Read my book for more details on that. It’s only $9 for the digital version, but if you don’t want to buy it, I understand (it’s meant for men).
Nope. That’s actually the problem, as hard as it is to believe. Society is doing something that is fundamentally broken. Long-term monogamy no longer functions. Here are the facts and stats that demonstrate this (which you will probably ignore, since it’s easier to talk about me instead):
https://alphamale20.com/blackdragonblog/2014/07/13/divorce-statistics/
https://alphamale20.com/blackdragonblog/2016/08/15/often-people-cheat-real-stats/
https://alphamale20.com/blackdragonblog/2015/11/16/what-life-long-marriage-really-looks-like/
Incorrect. Long-term pair-bonding is how society evolved, not monogamy. I am all for long-term pair-bonding. I’m long-term pair bonded myself. But absolute sexual monogamy has never worked. Men and women have been cheating on their spouses en mass for literally thousands of years.
Incorrect again. Short-term monogamy is natural under certain temporary conditions, but long-term monogamy (monogamy expected to last longer than three years) is fundamentally unnatural to human behavior. Humans are not monogamous creatures and never have been. Any biologist will (quietly) tell you this. Read Sex at Dawn for more information.
That is not what I recommend. Read items 8 and 12 here.
Nope. Read this:
https://alphamale20.com/blackdragonblog/2015/10/22/its-not-sex-addiction/
Yep. Read this and question number 3 here.
Great. But when you thought that Brad and Angelina practiced conventional marriage with monogamy, you used them as proof that monogamy has a low success rate. By that rationale, knowing the actual nature of their relationship, you must then concede that they are a point against nonmonogamy. As their relationship failed.
Yeah, we’re pretty awesome. I don’t think even you realize how awesome some of us are. No, I’m not going to bore you by talking about how I’m the world’s coolest wife, but I am and have always been a thoughtful [monogamous] partner. For example. I read your Valentine’s Day post in which you refer to the holiday as “kiss a woman’s ass for no reason day.” I’ve never had a significant other on Valentine’s Day who I didn’t get a little something for. One year I had a date with a fairly new suitor on VD. He took me out to a movie, bought me Chinese food and bought me an ipod. I brought the desert (an ice cream cake at his request.) This year, I had a heartfelt card, my husband’s favorite candy bar, and a sports magazine waiting for him on the coffee table (they sell them at a newsstand close to my office that he doesn’t get a chance to frequent, so it was simple yet special to him). He gave me a card, chocolates and had flowers sent to my office. Yes, the men usually do a little more, perhaps not due to societal programming but rather to nature (after all, aren’t even you a fan of gender roles?), but if you’ve so far been seeing women who just expect their ass to be kissed and don’t extend any gesture or token unto you, I can’t blame you for withholding monogamy. Instead of continuing to date spoiled women (who I assume are quite pretty,) you should probably settle down with a 6. When men get treated badly or friendzoned, it is always because they are going for a woman who is out of their league. I often hear them say “I’ll never settle!” But managing expectations =/= settling. It’s being intelligent and realistic. That is the source of long-term happiness.
Don’t assume I won’t refute your “facts and statistics” 🙂
Can’t we do both?
Ahhhhhh yes, divorce statistics! Everyone’s favorite. So marriage fails 50-65% of the time. Even by that estimate, does it not still succeed 50-35% of the time? That hardly boasts as proof that it is unnatural or impossible! Even if you say “but then so many of those 50-35% who stay married cheated!”, yes, and a few of those 50-65% who broke up had one partner who meant their vows. More to the point, you yourself said several times that more people live the nonmonogamous lifestyle than we’ll ever know, because it’s socially taboo to admit it. They live it discretely. You have to acknowledge that several of those from the high divorce rate camp, including new inductees Brad and Angelina, actually had been practicing nonmonoagmy. And it failed.
Furthermore, the success rate of nonmongamy is impossible to argue. There aren’t enough studies to show that it is the more successful paradigm. If those couples who divorced, who had in fact been practicing monogamy, had only opened their marriage, would it be successful? Very likely not. If they had declined to enter into marriage altogether, would they still have survived as a couple? Who knows. It’s like saying “there are more car crashes than motorcycle crashes, therefore motorcycles must be safer.” When any idiot knows that such data is taken out of proportion. There are fewer motorcycles than cars, and when motorcycles crash, the damage is far greater. The motorcycle in this analogy is the nonmonogamous relationship structure.
Puh, Monogamy is unnatural in the same way that having a six pack is unnatural. You’re not born with it, it’s hard work, you have to resist temptation, the majority of people will fail…but it’s possible. Anybody who tells you it’s not possible is just coming up with cop-out excuses to justify their behavior and yours.
I take back what I said about you being less offensive and irksome than.. well, anyone else on the planet as you’ve now risen to the top (or plummeted to the bottom.) The letter to your daughter is one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever seen on the Internet, and that includes cartel tortures. I’m all for not giving your daughter–or your son– unrealistic expectations and filling their heads with Disney fairytales, but to tell a teenage girl that no man will ever love her for more than 5 years is revolting. As a former teenage girl I can assure you that it reads like “you’re not worthy of unconditional, permanent love, sweetie.” Not only is that not even true, as many women will find a man to love them for longer than 5 years, but it’s psychologically destructive. What you should have said is, “Relationships are hard work and they’re not all going to work out. Daddy screwed up. I couldn’t be monogamous, but some men can. I refuse to project my failures onto the world as a whole just to avoid facing my shortcomings.” That’s more accurate.
You then go on to tell her that guys will judge her first and foremost by her looks and life will be easier if she’s pretty and has a good body. Also untrue. In fact, coming from a woman (insight you know not of,) the easiest time I ever had in my life was being a solid 6. I went through an awkward phase which would have placed me at a 4 or 5, was a 6 for several years, made it to straight up 7 status for a brief plateau in my early-mid 20’s (8 with on point make up and fashion,) then back down to a 6 with age. 6 is the sweet spot for women. They’re cute enough to not be threatening to other girls (yes, the almighty Male opinion isn’t the only thing your daughter will encounter,) still cute enough to land a GOOD (what you would call “beta”) monogamous partner, but not constantly being harassed on the street. Plus the 6’s work is paid attention to before her body (something that 8-10’s probably struggle with, the poor dears.) When a woman is too attractive, it’s a distraction at work and play. Guys tend to see really hot girls as bragging rights. They get with them regardless of how they feel about their personality (which they usually come to find out they’re not too keen on.) Yes, life is easier when you’re above a 4, for sure. Ugliness doesn’t do anybody any favors. But the prettier she is =/= the more successful she’ll be at work, in relationships, or anywhere in life. There are far more important things than looks…yes, even if you’re a woman.
My phrasing was poor, awkward and misleading in my previous paragraph so allow me to expound.
It’s not necessarily untrue that guys will judge her first and foremost on her looks and life will be easier if she’s pretty. The former is true but irrelevant (a man’s opinion matters in YOUR opinion, Caleb, but your daughter should be told that the opinion of mass males isn’t important.) The latter is relatively true but the term “pretty” is subjective. As stated, 6 is ideal. When you get higher than that, you start attracting the wrong kind of guy.
I could list dozens of women with mediocre looks who have done outstanding in the work force and have been married for decades..it’s as if you don’t acknowledge or notice them because they’re not super hot. Which is precisely my point. At the risk of offending you, you are one of many men who can be described as the wrong type of guy. But by no means are you the only type out there or the type you should advise your daughter to put effort into attracting. Does even a nice guy (“beta”) notice a girl’s looks first? Prob. But not with such an absolute, discerning eye. To a good guy, just cute enough with other awesome attributes is perfect.
The only time in my life that I was sexually objectified and ran into a non mono type such as yourself was when I was a 7. Not for me… I’d elect to be a 6 over a 9 (though not a 10 cause then I could be a super model) any day.
In short, I think the objectionable part of your whole operation here isn’t that you choose to practice non monogamy (no one cares), it’s the judgment you place on your opposition. My husband is a wonderful man. I get defensive knowing you’d question his masculinity. Can’t you just say it’s not the lifestyle for you without calling into question the validity of everyone else’s circumstances?
You clearly didn’t read the links I posted that addressed this (not that I’m surprised) so this will be my final comment to you here.
The real divorce rate is at least 70%, not 50-65%, which is a per capita number based on the number of marriages and divorced that occur within one your. Your odds of divorce over the lifetime of the marriage is far higher.
No, and if you read the links you would know why. Just because you don’t get divorced doesn’t mean your marriage (or monogamy) has succeeded. Most people who don’t get divorced eventually cheat or get cheated on. Most people who don’t get divorced end up being unhappy in the marriage (60%, an all time historic high). Refer to those links for more details (which I know you won’t do).
Thanks for admitting you were wrong. I’m somewhat shocked.
I never said it wasn’t possible. Just extremely unlikely beyond 3-5 years. The odds are overwhelmingly likely at at some point in your marriage, you’ll either get divorced/break up, cheat, get cheated on, or end up in an unhappy marriage. This includes you in your marriage. Come back in 10 years and tell me none of these things have happened. I can’t wait. 🙂
I clicked on the first link you provided on the divorce stats, which I was familiar with already, but clicked on the link and read the first few lines to make sure you were operating under the same premise as was my understanding. The first thing I read that you said was 50%, that was on par with what I have read too. Next you went into demographics, stating that if you live in a big city the number is closer to 65%. Fine. I stopped reading, took your most generous estimate and built my retort from there. If you actually contradicted yourself further down in the story, maybe you shouldn’t have buried the lead or stated something (like 50-65%) that you’re now telling me was false. I admit not reading beyond the first few figures, but think it’s silly that I got those numbers from your blog and you’re now telling me they’re incorrect…
I’ll cope.
Well I took that figure from your blog, so…
Actually (and I know you’ll hate this,) there is another way to read the data. The divorce statistic takes into account one’s second, third, and eighth time divorcing (thanks, Elizabeth Taylor.) In other words, it takes into account people who are bad at marriages and throws off the curve. In fact, according to psychcentral.com (the first result that comes up in a quick Google search about the divorce rate for first time marriages,) it dropped from 40% in 1980 to 30% in the early 2000’s. I’m not convinced that’s accurate, to be honest, but that’s what came up right away. Another source lists the divorce rate for first time marriages at 40-50%. That seems right to me. “The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher,” (apa.org, American Psychological Association) so that could be where your inflated numbers are coming from. (.org addresses always hold a tad more validity.)
Since you feel comfortable adding in miscellaneous conditions (like living in a big city,) to skew the numbers you’re reporting, I see no reason why I can’t do the same to support my stance. For couples married in the Catholic Church, the divorce rate is only 28% (Georgetown’s Center for Applied Research). I get it, it might not be a happy marriage and therefore fails to meet the definition of a “successful” marriage, however it certainly refutes your claim that monogamy is unnatural. (Perhaps we’re operating under different definitions of unnatural. More on that below.)
Subjective.
Conjecture.
I already preemptively replied to all of this. Yes, there are unhappy people who are married, there are unhappy people who are living non-mono and so on so forth. Both relationship paradigms fail often. We all know…
The biggest fundamental issue in our debate is failing to define what you mean when you say monogamy is unnatural, because that’s what I’m refuting and it’s possible I don’t even know exactly what I’m refuting. Do you mean that monogamy for humans is impossible or simply unfavorable? I don’t deny that it’s difficult, but in the words of the great Tom Hanks “the hard is what makes it great.” It’s worth it.
Oh okay.
Okay, that’s just not true at all. Even the marriages that end in divorce lasted 8 years on average. Then there’s the, even by your generous estimate, 30% of couples who stay together for life (likely longer than 8 years.) Another subjective term we need to define: unlikely. To me, being in a plane crash is unlikely. Being with someone for longer than 5 years? Not unlikely. Now you’ll make the assumption that people still cheated after the 5th year so you’re still right, but I don’t consider your assumptions and intuition to be reliable data.
Even you admit that the non-mono lifestyle doesn’t offer a very more favorable outcome. You can still be unhappy in non-mono, and in fact it’s likely for the exact same argument that you use to advocate it: Jealousy is a natural human reaction to pair-bonding. To deny your jealousy is just as damaging if not more so than to deny your “natural” compulsion to spread your seed.
Haha, didn’t take long for you to predict the doom of my marriage. Firstly, I thought personal ad hominem attacks weren’t welcome on your boards. After all, I’m not denying that you’re happy leading non-mono lifestyle. I’m sure you’re happy as a pig in s___! I’m sure it works for some. I’m only refuting your broad, sweeping generalizations that it’s what’s best for everyone and that anything else is the road to misery…because you’ll never convince me that’s true. Secondly, I’ve already survived years of MRA’s both in person and online telling me I’ll never find a man to marry me to the point where I almost believed it, and that was proven wrong…so now I’ve evolved to having a debate with someone who is certain my marriage won’t be successful…whatever, come at me bro. Thirdly, if what you’re saying is true about how unlikely it is for relationships to be successful past 5 years, I’ll be able to come back and report the gloom a lot sooner than 10 years from now. 🙂
Fidelity isn’t even the number one reason for divorce. So to argue that monogamy is ineffective or unlikely to succeed, you should probably focus on only what percentage of marriages ended because of the inability to remain monogamous, not for other factors. Divorce.usu.edu reports that 55% of divorced couples did so because of “infidelity.” Therefore, you’d have to take your astronomical figure (over 70%) and divide it by half in order to get a number that reflects your stance. Otherwise you’re using people who divorced over finances as “proof” that monogamy doesn’t work.
@Abby
If you want to believe in monogamy, knock yourself out. I sincerely hope you are happy, and that everything works out for you.
But why are you coming here, where most people DON’T believe in monogamy, and want to live differently?
We have heard your arguments, and don’t buy them, and don’t really want to be preached at.
Go somewhere else where your message is welcome.
Or is it a case of “she doth protest TOO much”?
@HanFeng- She doth protest too much is a lot like psychoanalyzing your opponent, which I’m told by the owner of this blog space is an ineffective argument tactic.
My intention isn’t to preach. I don’t care at all what others do in their relationships or systematic lack thereof.
If I must justify my journey here, I found this blog while googling Valentine’s Day opinions and thoughts. Found his vday article first and clicked around to some other articles. I can’t resist a good debate and found so many opportunities to poke holes in his arguments. It’s not the personal decision of some to not practice monogamy that gets under my skin, it’s the absolute insistence that monogamy is unhealthy, unnatural or otherwise wrong. I also have a pet peeve for self-proclaimed “alphas” but that’s completely my own opinion and trying not to bring that into the comments section. If you men want to role play and pretend to be kings that’s your business. Can’t tell you how wrong it is that women aren’t attracted to nice guys (“beta”.)
@ HanFengZi
She’s debating here. Which is what you do with people whose opinions differ from yours. Why would you go explaining your views at length to people who already share them? Not sure why her views bother you that much.
@K
As near as I can tell, this isn’t a wide open debating society, but a community interested in understanding and discussing BD’s ideas about relationships, which includes non-monogamy. He has thoroughly debated and explained his views on that topic, and there are many places where people who want to praise monogamy can go to discuss, i.e. most of the rest of society and the internet.
If a group of hunting enthusiasts formed a club to share their experiences and a PETA member kept showing up at meetings to “debate” them, they would be considered rude at best. On the internet, we call such a person a troll.
Abby (and a growing number of other voices here) don’t seem to realize that they are trolls. Deliberate trolls are best ignored, but unselfaware trolls can sometimes become aware if you bring it to their attention.
Either way, to continue with the metaphor, men come here to share techniques on how to bag a deer, and best make use of the meat and trophies, not to be lectured on the benefits of vegetarianism.
@ HanFengZi
Hm… I think I can kind of see where you’re coming from, still, so far this blog has been a space owned by BD and provided by BD for the use by general public under the condition the general public members adhere to the regulations established by him. If BD does not want Abby on here, he can delete her comments or block her at any time. Until he does it, I’m afraid she has the same right to present her opinions and information sources here as you do.
@K
Last time I checked, I have no special power to prevent her from coming here or commenting.
I just expressed my opinion about what she was doing, and what I preferred she would do, as a member of the community (who, incidentally, actually buys BDs books).
I would ask you to consider though: why do you feel the need to defend her?
@ HanFengZi
Thanks for asking. I guess I find it counterproductive, generally speaking now, when people separate into their social (media) bubbles where they agree with each other and shield themselves from alternative views and experience.
On the one hand, it is surely tiring to be constantly attacked for one’s thoughts and beliefs. On the other hand surrounding oneself only by people who share the same experience narrows down one’s vision.
I am not defending Abby as a person (I don’t know her), I am defending the opportunity for public debate… I know you can’t prevent it, you however expressed an opinion indicating you would prefer if it weren’t taking place (on here, at least). That’s what I responded to.
@K
It may surprise you to know that I enthusiastically agree with you on the social media bubbles. I deliberately include people I mostly don’t agree with in my feeds to keep myself in touch with a diversity of views.
If this was the only forum to share and discuss such views, I would probably be glad of Abby’s (and other’s) contributions.
But this is the ONLY place to get a particular perspective on certain things, and I get PLENTY of a reminder of the socially dominant views about these issues from PLENTY of sources, and I’m pretty sure everyone else here does too.
I have also been in online communities long enough (since before the Web!) to know that Gresham’s Law applies to forums as well as currency: the “alternative debaters” eventually drive the original serious community away.
BD is the “Law” here and can accept or ban who he likes, but I make no apologies for defending what I want to get out of this forum, when I am so moved and it seems it might work, from those who can’t possibly contribute to that.
Agree with K. Nothing hinders your chances for self growth more than isolating from mainstream. (Or mainstream isolating from outsiders, hence why I read blogs and comments like these.) If you’re so confident in your ideology, you shouldn’t be threatened by the opposition. Discomfort with a challenge to your view is a sure sign of weakness in your stance (or your devotion to it.)
I’m fascinated by how others think and why. “Well what is your response to this? How about this?” It’s a hobby of mine, I mean no harm.
Its not only counterproductive, but also destructive. But that’s only because everyone is so collective minded. I think BD talks about it too in a post about the manopshere.
And about Abby, there exists worse. Maybe not on this blog, but on several other manopshere blogs and almost every message board on the internet nowadays. When its posted in a joking manner and a clear attempt to be funny (like most bodybuilding and PUA boards where I post on, where we just pretty much make fun of each other all the time) its not bad but if its just to make others mad then yeah it needs to be dealt with. I don’t think Abby has gone there…yet.
As always, anyone is more than welcome to post at this blog even if they completely disagree with me. I will never ban or block anyone unless they break one of the five rules. (Moreover, often monogamy’s biggest defenders end up proving my points for me.)
At the same time, I’m a very busy guy, and I have to make a judgement call as to where I spend my time. Abby clearly refused to refer to links I posted, then started making arguments that are directly answered or refuted in those links. If I continued to debate her, she would continue to do this, wasting a huge amount of my time. Debate requires a baseline of rational behavior between the two participants in order to be productive.
So she can post her all she likes about how monogamy is so great because she’s temporarily chosen to be monogamous, as long as she follows the rules here, but I won’t be responding to her beyond the comments I made to her above.
It was only a matter of time for bradgelina to end – Both are cheaters watching someone elses back gets very tiring.
Brad looks old and tired…but still rather handsome.
Angelina looks like a bad character of Joan Crawford…