The 4 Critical Skills Every Man Must Master
Of all the skills in the universe, there are four skills that are absolutely required for you, as a man, to master if you want to live a life of long-term happiness.
These are not the only important skills; there are many others. Regardless, these are the most important. All other happiness and skills spring from these core four.
All four are required. If you master just one or two of them, then you’re going to be seriously screwed, either now or later in life. As always, I talk about long-term happiness, not just temporary happiness, and not just happiness in your 20s or early 30s. As I’ve said many times, being happy as a young man and being miserable as an older man means you have failed at life. The goal for the Alpha Male 2.0 is to be happy now and happy later, not just happy now but depressed or angry later like the beta male or the Alpha Male 1.0.
That means there is no getting around learning these four skills unless you don’t mind being unhappy. Your plan over the next 5-15 years of your life should be to master all four of these skills, whether or not you’re excited about it right now. You cannot be a long-term happy man without them.
The first two skills must be mastered immediately, right now, as fast as you can, regardless of your age, even if you’re very young. The second two skills are also critical, but if you’re younger you can wait to work on them after you’re 35 or 40 years old.
I’ll start with the first two.
Mandatory Skill Number One: You must learn how to get laid, and do so quickly, easily, reliably, and without spending a lot of money.
As much as many politically correct women hate to hear this, regular sex with someone you find attractive is necessary for masculine happiness. We have all seen, and many of us have actually experienced, the pain, depression, dysfunction, and even violence that occurs when men have no idea how to get sex or how to get a girlfriend.
You must get to the point where you can go out into the world, cold, not knowing anyone, and bring a woman into your sex life relatively quickly and easily. The sexual baseline for the Alpha Male 2.0 that I describe in my book is this:
1. The ability to have sex with at least two new women within four weeks of losing your current source of sex (wife, girlfriend, friend with benefits, whatever).
2. Having sex at least twice a week (or so), regardless of whether or not you currently have a wife or girlfriend. (You can modify this up or down a little based on your level of sex drive, however.)
3. You consider these women at least “cute.” Only having sex with ugly or average-looking women (that’s ugly or average-looking to you) isn’t going to satisfy you in the long run.
You do not need to be some kind of serial player or master pickup artist. You do not need to bang 100 women. You do not need to have six or seven MLTRs or FBs on rotation. You do not need to fuck supermodels or 19 year-old cheerleaders. You do not need a perfect 10 girlfriend or wife. While those things are all technically possible, this crap is mostly mental masturbation pushed by the aspects of the manosphere and PUA community.
BUT! You do need to learn how to have sex with two new reasonably cute women within four weeks from today. If you don’t know how to do this, get to work and learn. It takes time to learn this stuff, but it’s not that hard.
Even if you think you don’t need this skill, even if you’re monogamous, or even if you currently have a wife or serious girlfriend, she’s not going to be around forever, you idiot. Long-term masculine happiness can only be achieved if you know how to go out and get laid relatively quickly, easily, and cheaply, whenever you need to do it. Otherwise, you’ll go without sex (or have sex with average/ugly women) for long periods of your life. That’s not happiness.
Mandatory Skill Number Two: You must learn how to make a decent amount of money without blowing your brains out.
What does “decent amount of money” mean? Based on the studies I’ve talked about on my blogs and books, it means you need to make $75,000 a year or the equivalent. Yes, you can round that number up or down based on your age, lifestyle, where you live, number of kids you have (or plan on having), and things like that. Regardless, $75,000 is about what you need for maximum, long-term happiness.
I’ve already described this in detail here, so feel free to read that article if you want more information. The bottom line today is that you will never be happy if you have constant financial problems. You will never be happy if you always strongly want things you can’t afford. You will never be happy if you have to constantly rely on the government or a girlfriend/wife to help you pay your bills (not to mention the fact that you’re a loser and a beta if you’re over the age of about 23 and can’t pay your own fucking bills).
You do not have to be a multimillionaire, own a yacht, or drive a Ferrari. $75,000 a year is plenty for most men reading these words. Learning how to make this kind of money without working very hard is far easier than you think. Buy my book if you want to learn how to get started. Teaching men how to make money on low hours per week is what I do.
Or, sit around and make excuses like a lazy bitch. You’ll never be happy though.
Those are the two mandatory skills that are the fundamental baseline for masculine happiness. Once you’re making a decent amount of money and can get laid whenever you want, everything else in your life that may make you happy becomes possible, and even easier. Fitness, spirituality, love, children, family, travel, political activism, recreation, art… whatever it is that you want, all of these things become easier and more accessible once you have sex and money handled.
We’re not done though! As you get older, over the age of 35 and certainly over age 40, two more critical skills must be learned and mastered if you want to stay happy for the rest of your life. Here they are.
Mandatory Skill Number Three: You must learn to maintain your physical appearance and fitness post age 40 and do whatever is necessary, forever.
As I’ve talked about before, men who are too scared or lazy to achieve happiness (beta males) or men who don’t hold their happiness as their highest priority (Alpha Male 1.0s) can “afford” to let their looks start to slide when they enter their 40s and beyond. They can go bald, grey, get fat and dumpy, let their skin go to shit, and/or dress like dorks, and they’ll assume that traditional monogamous marriage (or the government) will take care of them in their old age, which of course it won’t.
As an Alpha 2.0 seeking long-term happiness, you don’t have that option. You need to look really good for your age, forever. This means that you must master at least a baseline of fitness skill and appearance skill post-40 that most men don’t even think about.
The good news is that most men in their 20s or early 30s don’t really need to take any extra time to address their appearance or fitness unless they already view it as an enjoyable hobby. The vast majority of men in their 20s or early 30s barely exercise, really don’t watch their diet too much, and many of them drink and/or do drugs, yet they still tend to look pretty good (with many exceptions of course). I experienced this myself; for most of my 20s, I didn’t focus on my fitness at all and I was still a 100% functional person.
This is all fine until you click over age 35, when suddenly this starts to change. If you maintain this level of neglect, you start seeing body fat in places you never have before, your skin starts to look bad, you start losing your hair, you start growing hair in new places, and all kinds of other fun things.
When you cross over age 40, the entire scenario changes. All of a sudden, just to maintain a normal level of looks, you have to do so many different things with your body that it almost becomes a part-time job. Let me say that again; maintaining your relative youthful, healthy appearance post-40 becomes a part-time job.
Plan on this, and do what is necessary, once you cross age 35 or 40. This comprises the following areas:
1. Research
2. Changing and monitoring your diet
3. Food prep and food cleanup (eating healthy takes far more time in these areas than eating shitty food)
4. Exercise, both cardio and weight lifting (not just one or the other)
5. Regular blood tests
7. TRT
9. Addressing your teeth, that have moved around since you were a teenager and look much worse now
10. Regular doctor visits for check-ups and physicals
11. Fashion
12. Water intake
13. Getting at least seven or eight hours of sleep every night
14. Keeping stress levels low
See what I said about this being a part-time job? It is, but it’s well worth it. I do all the above, and I am, literally, the happiest 44 year-old man I know, and I know hundreds of men. (Even that is considering that I’m still technically overweight.) On a regular basis, people I meet are stunned that I’m 44 years old; many assume I’m in my early 30s. It works.
You cannot let your fitness and relatively youthful appearance slide as you get older. You will feel older, have less energy (and probably make less money), have more medical problems, and find it much harder to get laid (particular with younger and/or more attractive women). You will not be happy long-term.
Mandatory Skill Number Four: You must learn how to budget, save, and invest so you can maintain your wealth for the long haul.
Again I will repeat that you don’t have to be a multimillionaire or something like that. However! You need to control your spending, save a lot of your income, and learn at least the basics of investing so that when you’re older, you’ll have plenty of money to protect you from the usual medical and lifestyle problems associated with old age.
The statistics on old people not having any money once they hit age 65 are staggering. Too many people make money throughout their entire lives, only to end up with nothing because they never fucking saved. Or worse, they lose their retirement nest eggs from investing into stupid, sexy stuff that Societal Programming encourages (like the stock market), or from getting divorced (ah, monogamy).
This includes men of high income. I know a hell of a lot of guys who make a lot of money but don’t actually have any. Years ago, I was one of these men myself. I made a six figure income during much of my 20s, yet every year my net worth was zero. Sometimes, less than zero! I would bust my ass again the following year, make a bunch of money, and still be worth zero at the end of the year. Stupid.
Today, I save 40% of my income, and I consider that too low; I’m trying to get it to 60%. I invest the bulk of my money very carefully so I don’t lose any. And this is coming from a man who never plans on retiring and plans on working for the rest of his life. You must have a decent amount of money available to you in your elder years, no matter what your plans are for your later life. If not, you’re screwed.
I don’t care how complicated or boring the topics of financial management or investing are to you. Once you start making a decent income, you must learn and master these skills, at least well enough to save and preserve most of your wealth. Married or single, healthy or sick, working or retired, happy or miserable, you will want that cash when you’re an old man, period.
That’s it! Those are the four skills you need to learn and employ. If you don’t mind being unhappy, then don’t worry about any of them, but if you want to live a happy life, get your ass to work and start learning and practicing these things. You’ll thank yourself.
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Good article. I will be interested to see if anyone tries to disagree with you. 🙂
Tip of the year: Drink water. Lots of it.
Do you plan to hit the traditionally recommended under-25 BMI, or a higher but lean bodyweight ? I’d venture to say that anyone with a lean waist is perfectly safe at a 25-30 bmi. I remember you saying that you’re 5’11, and at that height 175-180lbs sounds a bit too slim.
Do you follow special guidelines to ensure that ? I personally have very bad sleep.
Hey BD, what would be the buying power of 75.000 Us$ in the US? I get the idea that it is enough money so I can have stability, zero financial problems, probably save money and afford ramdom crap without worriying to much but I’m trying to translate how much money would be that in my home country.
@blackdragon
I gotta say thanks so much BD for all of your research and ebooks and blog!
It has been one of the most beneficial and wiser decisions I have ever made post divorce.
I was thinking back 3 years ago on my first experience to the dating world (after being married 19 years) and was so frustrated and discouraged w my results. Especially with meeting people offline vs online.
Anyways, now I usually have TOO Many women to pick from on a weekly or monthly basis and it’s so much fun. Just the novelty alone is a blast.
Additionally, as a self employed biz owner, I absolutely suck at saving and money management. I can honestly say to anyone out there that’s just getting started on the Alpha 2 lifestyle that BDs points on women and money are 100% accurate and true.
But the small investment in your products and reading as many of your articles as possible is probably the single smartest thing I have done since divorced!!
Life is good and I thank you man!! 🙂
Your stuff is the best Men’s Self Help info anybody could read. The other shit means nothing if you can’t master your stuff IMO….
I forecast a select few disagreeing with number 1. But I agree with it, as women do not stick around, especially:
1) Since we now live in a feminized society (especially here in the UK!)
2) If they’re REALLY hot
This means most guys go through periods of severe unhappiness if they can’t do number 1 properly, unless they have a really low sex drive.
Looking forward to the younger guys manual BD!
@Alex
In terms of finding the hottest chics I might disagree a lil with some of that approach.
I have found that the hottest ones are usually more drama or baggage or nuts. Literally.
So, if your like me and prefer less chaos, after a while, having many cute 6 and 7s on rotation vs a couple of 8 or 9s becomes more fun, adventurous, less headache and drama.
Again, this is just my own preference and what I personally have seen and do. They usually are easier to setup threesomes with and less Materialistic as well.
I guess I’d say I kinda use the 80/20 principle w this but it all depends on how much drama a man can deal with too!!
I was wondering, what do you do for health insurance, Obamacare?
Very very true!!! It’s like someone flips a switch inside you and your appearance starts to change for the worse in a mater of days (I’m 37 by the way).
One of the dumbest things a man can do in that age range is to maintain or increase alcohol consumption. Of course that’s exactly what married guys do.
@POB
That’s exactly why I hardly drink alcohol anymore.
Additionally, I decided at age 40 to shave my head bald due to getting some gray hair, get a couple of tattoos and work out 2-3 x per week.
Not to mention now have a love for soft top Jeeps, which I swear attracts younger ladies.
So I went from a man looking like age 50 driving a boring car and average body to being called VIN Diesels cousin in a matter of 6 months! U gotta find your niche and novelty!! 😉
Even though skill #1 comes naturally to us women, I’d say the rest are also good skills for women to learn as well. Good article.
Long time reader, first time poster. I consider myself Alpha 2.0 career, money, and now starting fitness wise, so I full-heartedly agree with points 2 through 4 (though TRT may not be for everyone). I’m working on point 1 now with the help of this blog, after my monogamous relationship failed. Food for thought, I’m Asian-American, and I feel a lot of my peers (myself included) tackled this focusing on money first. I wonder how the trade-off will works itself in the long run, e.g. stress in school and career, instead of focusing on college culture hookup.
@CurtsNOKC
So you’re saying that REAL hotties stick around just as long as the ones who are relatively cute, but they’re more drama?
I agree with you that they tend to be more drama on average yeah. They’re just so used to getting their own way haha!
But if they don’t get their way, they have hundreds of guys available to replace you with.
@Alex
Yes! Would I love to drive a Lamborghini every day? Absolutely. But what if that car gave you problems 80% of the time? Or is constantly shit testing you.
Additionally, the personality of a chic GREATLY influences how attracted I am to her over time.
Personally, I have a very low tolerance for Bitches and like more of a deep South sweet girl next door types.
I just don’t agree w the notion that us men should put 100% of our focus on the hottest chics all the time. I tend to have the most freaking fun and adventure w the least amount of effort w the range of 5 to 7 probably. And there is more quantity of them too. My life is so much easier and less stressful after I cut out some of the 8 and 9s back. I currently have at least 3 lower tier chics that are discussing and open to setting up a FFM threesome w me and are excited about it.
It’s what I call the Sweet Spot.
I now focus 80% of my efforts on finding these “average but cute ones” that have awesome Personality and chemistry and I literally can’t keep up w how many I have now and it’s loads of kinky fun w minimal effort!!
Now, I know some of you are gonna say that I’m using this as an excuse to not talk to the 9s and 10s. Not true! I am still seeing 1 or 2 that I’d put that high but once you conquer that and have dealt w the headache associated w them usually, it just lowers my excitement to go after them as hard in the future.
So, the end result is if I have a kinky, fun, cute 6 that’s down for almost anything and knows how to make and keep plans, she is now a 8 or 9 on the overall attraction level to me. Where a 10 that is needy, demanding and thinks every man owes her something goes to a 7 on the attraction level, I usually will pick the 6 now.
My goal weight is 195.
Read my book.
Refer to this.
You’re welcome and thanks!
Obamacare is a government program and I always avoid those whenever humanly possible.
I have a (comparatively) cheap catastrophic health insurance plan (that I pay for myself) backed up by an HSA account (that I fund myself). In other words, I do what everyone should do. Read this for more info.
To each their own. I focused on money and income way before I ever became good at women.
I don’t care which one you do first, as long as you do both.
Then you have super hot FBs; their drama or crazyness are much less relevant in that setting. And on the other hand you’d have MLTRs who are less hot.
Also, not all shit tests are a problem; many of them can be destroyed with just a shrug and some of them are actually amusing (in fact, deflecting shit tests is one of the things that actually gets you the hot chicks in the first place, and/or gets them hooked. It’s disturbing how easily a hottie can become obsessed with a much less attractive guy just because his non-ass-kissing attitude, so unlike the other men she knows, just shocks her). It’s quite possible to condition yourself to not be bothered at all by some shit tests that can ruin an average man’s day.
Edit: @BD: yes I read your book.
@Gil Galas
Yes but n my case my responses to the shit testing was so unexpected by them that they have flipped out sometimes.
I had one that was a 9 that could not believe I could possibly ignore her and attacked me.
Another one that was a 9 or 10 that claims I drove her to insanity and could easily see her being one of those murder suicide type deals.
They know they are hotter than me and yet the fact I don’t care and just shrug them off can sometimes drive them mad lmbo.
It’s almost like they never see the Alpha 2s, only needy or Alpha 1s so when they experience an Alpha 2 for first time, it can be a lil shocking for them to grasp.
I tend to simplify a lot of this and look at it from the Big picture and that my time is $ too!
All I can say is when I now see a cute lil fun 6 or 7 smile at me, my dick gets more hard than when I see a 10 that smiles at me the majority of the time.
Regarding money:
Let’s go a step deeper: How does one learn to enjoy the long and arduous process of becoming financially independent?
(and no, saying – if you don’t automatically enjoy making and keeping money you’re a low test slave beta male – is not a valid answer)
Solid post.
I am going to the same college bars I went to in my mid 30’s, fat (5’9″, 185-190#), dressed like a slob back then, unsure of myself and depressed.
At 44, still 5’9″ but at 152 pounds, with stylish shirts stretched across my shoulder and chest, I get way more positive attention, but then again I’m far more outgoing and confident these days.
But Blackdragon is totally right. It’s a part time job. I devote 1.5 hours per day to physical fitness. Cardio, resistance, and martial arts to boot. I watch my diet like a hawk, small portions of rich foods, as little sugar/carbs as possible, no snacks, etc. Doing everything right, like a grown ass man, is definitely a part time job.
But……I swear, my father’s seduction technique was domestic incompetence. I think it’s important for those of us who want to remain free to not leave even a little bit of light under the door of domesticity. It helps with VYW since having your shit together is attractive to them, as they tend to prefer some maturity (of course I mean type II’s & III’s). I think it’s vital with older women who will swoop in to “take care of you” in a blink of an eye.
Great post. I would only add that the 75.000 USD minimum income rule depends heavily (not just a bit) on a few factors:
1) where you live (I live in Austria, if someone earns 70.000 Euros a year (after taxes) his income is in the 99th percentil. I earn a bit less than that and I honestly don’t need 50% my current pay check. I invest it, but I wouldn’t need it to live perfectly comfortable. One of the things about living in a tax hell like where I live is that almost anything is already covered with your income tax, like transportation costs basically nothing, doctors cost nothing, university costs nothing, food is cheap, rent is cheap, etc.
2) the type of person you are (I am not very interested in material things, most of my money is used for travelling and books and these things cost almost nothing).
3) if you have kids/family/other liabilities
This seems to be a well-known fact…..but why? Is there a proven reason or a theory as to why this is usually true??
@Bulma78
Oh boy. The Princess syndrome and Disney stuff. They think they should be put up on a pedestal and owed something.
Then there is the Unicorn deal – many are looking for something that does not exist and their standards are just unrealistically high.
I mean come on haven’t you ever read some of these online profiles of the hotties that say something like this bullshit:
I want a man that is my best friend, lover, companionship, father, mechanic, fixer upper, makes great money, is handsome, is funny, is compassionate, has time for her when she can, listens to her whine, doesn’t watch sports too much, is good in bed, works out, has her same hobbies. On and on and on unicorn BS.
This societal programing BD talks about has created generations of Crazy people lol. I mean what do you think the mathematical odds are that these hot women like above will ever find this? This probably drives them literally mad and they develop other Personality Disorders.
The funniest craziest itch I’ve ever seen was a hottie 10 that wanted a Traditional Man and yet was a hardcore feminist Nazi. Talk about confused lmbo. She expected me to open the door for her and pay for her meals. One day, I ask her when she’s gonna make me a hot meal. She got upset. So, when we leave the restaurant, I stand there waiting on her to open the door for me. I’m like, “hey u said you think men and women should be treated equally”. Later that night she says, “so wanna come over tomorrow?”
I said, “No thanks and drove off”….
Hotties tend to be (not always) more confused about what they believe and why. And have inflated egos and unrealistic expectations. This leads to madness, chaos, drama, games etc.
Blackdragon — sounds like on point advice but a question on the pre-reqs to some of these goals.
How important, on a scale of 1-10, if at all, is your *current living situation* in achieving these goals?
Like say: you are currently living at home in drama-filled household.
Or alternatively, you are living with roommates(s) that make messes and never clean … impeding (or making more difficult) — efforts to cook, making you spend more time cleaning, making it harder to focus, affect sleep schedule.
Just wondering — I’m planning to move out and live by myself in 6 months, but shit … having your place be a near-constant mess and not completely under your own control seems to suck out a tremendous amount of energy and focus. I end up going to starbucks to actually get shit done and not worry about the fresh-pile of dishes and other messes every day ….
Just to clarify what you said, if you look after your body post-35, can you still look as good as you did, 25-34 or is the decline going to be inevitable after this point.
I have always been told I look good and young for my age but am about to turn 35 and suddenly I am seeing this dreaded number everywhere. I had no problem turning 30 but 35 seems to be synonymous with growing old and decay. It’s terrifying me haha.
I am already a fitness freak but drink far too much. I have cut out the latter significantly these past few months though. Hoping the fitness will give me a few more years, at least.
Can a fit, slim 35 year old continue to attract the younger ladies like the younger guys out there? I hope so!! haha
1. It’s not long. Most men reading these words can do it within 4-10 years if they stay focused. (Other guys who have a shitload of debt and/or lots of children could do it in 15 or less, perhaps much less.)
You’re probably going to live 100 years; 4-10 of them is not “long.”
2. It’s only arduous if you chose to do something that you hated, which would be stupid.
Find some type of work you enjoy doing, or at least enjoy part of doing. I love 70-80% of my work, therefore its not arduous, but fun. The other 30-20% is either neutral or mildly irritating but not a big deal, and over time I will have less of that as I outsource more stuff to others.
3. Find a goal, or set of goals, put them up on your walls, look at them every day, and remind yourself of why you’re putting in the work. Get excited about them. If you’re excited about your goals and at least semi-excited about your work, “arduous” is not really a factor, at least not usually.
I’m not sure why you think I would say such a stupid thing.
A slave beta male is a man who sits around and chooses to do nothing, or the bare minimum, not a man who chooses to get of his ass and make something of himself.
@ Matt Ryan: start by not allowing autosuggestion to hold you back; don’t fixate on a number or it will screw you up indeed. Just keep in mind that your body will have its own way of telling you that it can’t handle the same type of abuse (from diet or training) as it did at 20, that’s all. I’m not saying push until the injuries happen, just that you should pay attention to the alarm signals and adjust accordingly without making a big deal out of it.
Check Testosterone Nation’s article “Keep kicking ass after 40”, it’s a good starting point. And to answer your question, you can definitely look as good as you did in your twenties in terms of leanness and muscularity; it’ll just require more work on all fronts.
A very good point I learned some years ago is the following: most of the physical decline experienced by the typical man between 20 and 40 is less due to 20 years of aging than it is due to 20 years of bad lifestyle. Makes sense: at 20, you’re not just young, you’ve also had less total time treating your body badly.
I just experimented w a 6 month live in situation and am so freaking excited to have my own place again I can hardly stand it.
Once you experience the feeling of having more chics wanting to come over than you can possibly handle, it changes everything.
My view now is that I won’t ever live w another woman again until all of BDs 4 points are accomplished, especially the financial ones.
I’m making my goal 1 million net worth. I may still not do it ever again but I for sure won’t until I accomplished success.
Plus, I’m not fully matured as an Alpha 2 yet. Probably more Alpha 1.5 so still got a ways to go on Mastering more stuff.
But, it’s exciting to have my man cave back again!!!
8-10.
If your living situation sucks, MOVE.
If you “can’t move right now,” then fine, suspend ALL other goals in your life, and set your top priority to MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF THERE as FAST AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. NO EXCUSES!
I moved out of my parent’s house, with no roommates, when I was 18 years old and never looked back. Yeah, it was hard. Very hard! But it was so fucking worth it!
A decline is inevitable of course, but not at age 35, more like late 40s if you take good care of yourself.
Stop drinking. It’s fucking pointless in my opinion.
I was banging a non-stop parade of hot 18-22 year-olds starting at age 37, when I was noticeably balding and 40 pounds fatter than I am now.
So yes.
Oh come on, drinking is healthy. Just do it properly. Not too much, not too little. Teetotallers die young. Perhaps of boredom.
You have mentioned previously skin care. Where can we find more on the subject? It’s more about prevention and constant care, so I don’t want to waste one more day without tackling it.
Thanks blackdragon,
Just a quick question, when you say date women cheaply, what is the average spend you should be aiming for?
Thank you,
BD, Great Article. I think that all 4 skills would also be great for women to master for their long term happiness.They are all VERY important for happiness, though, I am afraid many women might not see their importance and not make them a priority. That is foolish and a big mistake on their part.
Read the article I already wrote about that; I already addressed those kinds of arguments there.
Do a search on this blog and I think I touch on it somewhere. I also touch on it in the Alpha Male 2.0 book. The only place I discuss a skin regimen in detail is in my book on dating younger women.
That’s a matter of opinion, but my opinion is less than about $25 meet-to-sex. Zero is ideal. (One-third of the women I’ve had sex with cost me zero dollars; this is easy to do if you keep the ages young.)
Women are different. They always have an option of moving in with a man who will take care of them to some degree, and this is always in the back of their minds, even if they’re “independent.” Thus they will have a different view on these things than us men, who can’t sit around and wait for a woman to come along and pay our bills for us or take care of us in our old age.
I agree women should take care of themselves financially; I’ve said this many times. The importance of these things is different when you’re a woman though.
Do you think your book would be helpful to someone who spent 10+ years reading pick up theory? As in practical actionable stuff to improve results that might be original. I ask this in earnest.
Already read Mark Manson’s models, but failed to get a noticeable pick up in results (no pun intended). Took several bootcamps, spent five years on RSDnation since 2006, RooshV, Roissy, various other bloggers and companies, etc. Never bought Jlaix’s the Program from RSD (their first online dating product) same for Todd’s online dating stuff. Not sure how familiar you are with other companies in your field and their competitor products.
Is there something beyond just a suggestion of trial and error for okcupid and get better pictures with a professional dslr (which I’ve already taken the liberty of doing as well) in the books?
Do you think a one hour consultation would be better instead? Maybe both?
Also, do you happen to have Dawson Stone’s contact information? I used to be in touch with him until he got outed and had to shut down his website (darn shame) and his email domain.
For lifestyle stuff, yes (setting goals, cleaning out SP, making money, time management, raising kids, travel, etc). For pickup, no.
Yes. Buy my online dating manual.
If you’ve literally spent 10+ years studying pickup and are still not good at it, a one hour consultation with me probably wouldn’t help. You likely have deeper issues that may require something more intensive (like counseling).
No.
@CurtsNOKC
My current MLTR just turned 23 and stopped to drink because of “religion”. I like to think that me not drinking and being a fitness freak had something to do with that too LOL.
She’s also doing IF, is super slim now (hotter than before) and feeling awesome (sex drive increased too, if that could be possible). When we met 8 months ago she was a drunk party freak who spent like 600 bucks on boose every week. Yes, that’s also gotta do with her age as BD already talked about women phases and maturity points, but shit is real for everyone I guess.
I still have very decent thick hair at 37, but shaving is sure liberating! No stress about fixing stuff on top of your head and chicks love the “bad boy” look.
Not really my thing. I drive a 10 year shitty economy car that’s very well maintained so I really don’t care because pussy still comes to me. But each to their own, no sweat.
Amen brother!
I want to argue that problem solving skill and social skills beyond women are critical, but what I like about this list is that it would be impossible to pull off without solid problem solving and social skills.
Exactly. These four things are the foundation for all other skills.
@ForeverAnonymous
I had done a lot of RSD and other game/red pill programs or reading before discovering BD’s stuff. Went on one bootcamp, did the Vegas World Summit and went through a few of the programs. My game improved quite a lot and I got to the level where I was not having too much trouble picking up hot chicks with direct approach night game as well as getting girls I liked off Tinder and POF. I was living a life of spinning plates or have multiple FB‘s in BD terms. I eventually got into an OLTR with one of my FB‘s before I found BD’s blog/books.
I think BD’s book is definitely the best thing I have come across. Not from a game/pick up side of things (although I’m interested in trying his online technique) but in terms of putting it all together and making your life work properly. Getting good with picking up won’t help you if you end up getting oneitis for a hot girl down the track etc. Understanding the relationship stuff is crucial.
Most people hit a major tipping point around 35 as it pertains to the rate of aging. This is solidly backed by medical science. People who have lived a very healthy life with minimal abuse can often eke out a few more years before this decline starts, but genes play a big factor, too.
You can find solid examples of this phenomenon by tracking the late careers of professional athletes. In many sports, an athlete can continue to turn out strong performances into his early-mid 30s. Then, sometime in his mid-to-late 30s, he’ll abruptly hit a wall. His performance drops off precipitously, sometimes to an extent where his continued presence in the sport is an embarrassment. Peyton Manning, who made it longer than most, clearly succumbed to this phenomenon in his final season at 39 years of age (that Super Bowl win was despite his performance, not because of it). It’s hard to watch sometimes, not only because the player has become a shell of his former self, but also because it reminds watchers that Father Time will defeat us all in the end.
Still, I believe by staying fit, healthy, eating right, and staying well hydrated, you can continue to feel and look *good* for years after 35. You just probably won’t feel or look *young* anymore. The best you can hope for is “young for your age,” which isn’t such a bad thing.
Like BD said, if you have done all this and still aren’t good with chicks (or at least the ones you are “matched up” with in terms of appearance and social status) then yeah, there’s something else. I used to post on RSD quite a bit from 2012-2013, never saw the need to take a bootcamp (since many are scams RSD’s included) and was able to get with chicks just fine, provided I wasn’t lazy about it. PUAism is NOT for the socially awkward and/or introverted like they say it COULD be for: You need a certain level of basic social and rapport building skills to practice the techniques of it in order to not get a harassment or rape charge.
Anyways, shots at PUAism aside, I’m good on the first and third skills, I’m good on the fourth too and I save whatever I can. Don’t have much debt other than student loans. But the second…it just seems so overwhelmingly difficult to make that kind of money without doing something that I dislike (aka being around micromanaging dicks) and destroying my health. I’m reading BD’s book about it now and have taken some steps, but everything seems so uncertain. Anyone care to chime in on how I can go about this easier? Are there things I need to do now that will pay me back later? I feel like that’s the general idea.
@Franklin –
Great points. It’s my thoery that as “men” become more pussified w tight jeans and playing video games all day, women will begin to shift to older men. It’s probably already occuring now idk.
I make make reference to this on my online dating profile! “Ladies, are u sick of the immature, whiny, needy, video gamer boys of today….”
Use your older age to advantage when u can!!
This is not a substitute to doing all the other tsuff and staying in shape of course.
Side point:
I have to reinstate a huge issue that BD talks about that I’ve had to learn the hard way. It’s how to be SILENT and/or just ignoring them when they act out. This one was very hard for me to learn. Maybe it’s cuz I’m an INTP idk.
Looking back, if I had only gone silent or soft next for 3 days, I would probably have 30% more ladies in my portfolio. But instead I had to reply and get my 2 cents in or debate her w man logic and it gets out of hand and blows up.
Shut up, bite your tongue and go dark and then just pop up like nothing happened or we lose. It’s so true guys but very hard to do. But fun to see in action when on day 5 they text you something like, “hey wyd…Sorry other day was having a bad day…”
?
what I like about this list is that it would be impossible to pull off without solid problem solving and social skills
I feel like those 2 skills use the opposite sides of the brain.
Correct. Young for your age is all you need. You don’t need to look like Justin Beiber when you’re 50, nor would I want to.
BD I find walking 1hr a day 5 days a week Plus watch what you eat and do some weight training 3 days a week you will lose weight ,reduce your waist and tone up You don’t have to be a gym junkie cheers
Minor point, but you might want to change the ‘u’ to ‘you’ if you actually use that in your profile.
@BD – Why two new women in four weeks? Why not one week or two months? Just curious as to the criteria you used to come up with the four week figure.
Look up intermittent fasting and fasting in general, it works wonders:
Other than that I’m of the opinion that 90% of obesity is caused by a grain-based/high-carb diet that is pushed by education (aka government). Remember the “food pyramid”? It’s utter BS and is beginning to be found by scientists that this may be the main cause of the epidemic of diabetes and obesity in the western world. The paleo and low-carb diets have become incredibly popular and it seems that it is because it works. I mention this because I remember reading in your other blog something about how you spent two weeks eating potatoes only and I cringed in suffering only from reading it because I know from experience this kind of diet is one of the best ways to fuck up your metabolism.
Other than that, great article, BD.
BD, when was the last time someone gave you diet advice and it was something you hadn’t heard before? : )
It has to be as fast as possible, while still being possible for the normal, everyday guy. Ideally you should replace your source of sex within a week, but only celebrities and master PUAs would be capable of such a thing on a regular basis.
One month is still reasonably fast and a 100% doable goal for any normal man who takes the time to learn and practice these skills.
I never said this. I said I’m overweight, not fat.
And do you seriously think I’ve never heard of intermittent fasting? Really?
I’ve been doing intermittent fasting for about three years now.
Never.
Great article, completely agree.
I’m going a bit off topic here though.
I’ve been thinking a bit more about ASD,
Still think it’s more women being picky after having a long run of bad relationships in their 20’s
And perhaps provider seeking (baby making time).
But perhaps it is also, Anti-Fuckboy-Defence.
I’m just theorising, but I wonder how much contact you have with your FB‘s after the initial dates and two lock in sex. Because perhaps this is another major effect, women don’t want to be put in a FB category. Especially these days where hookups are very common.
Do you meet up for a coffee and food with your FB, before the deed? Do you watch a film before or after the deed, how much interaction do you have with them? Obviously you’re going to be associating with them on some level, so you are able to find out more about them to see if they have upgrade potential.
A smaller percentage may be trying to figure out if they have a Beta that they can control. I’m sure some women seek these types out.
And there are gold diggers of course.
Yes, for over-33’s, it’s all those things, plus more. That’s why you should stick to women under age 33 if your goal is fast sex.
Exact same as with MLTRs. Once or twice a week max, and even then, it’s only to schedule the next date. I will respond to them if they text me first, though.
False. You have a limiting belief. I have, and have always had, numerous FBs, and the vast majority of them were very happy being FBs. And many of them were over 30. True, eventually they LSNFTE‘d me for a mono-BF, and them came back, but MLTRs and OLTRs do that too.
I agree you can’t point at a woman on a first date and declare that “You will be my FB!” but that’s not what we’re talking about. What women say they want and what women actually do are two different things.
Never, other than the first or second date, pre-first-time-sex. You can’t take FBs out like that; it’s against the cardinal rules.
A few minutes of TV, sure. An entire movie for 2 hours, never.
I can talk to them before the deed, sitting at the table or the couch (or bed) for a little bit. Maybe a little after too. I can also engage in friendly texting too (but only if they initiate the contact). That’s about it.