I’m An Asshole – If You Don’t Like It, Please Go Away
Here are a few comments / emails I’ve received in the past:
I read the last comments on “Why It’s So Important To Ignore Her After A Breakup” and your reason for closing comments there.
Since unfortunately for some men oneitis has an effect neurally alike to heroin (of all drugs), why don’t you write a serious post about this (a follow-up to Why It’s So Important To…) where instead of simply calling this type of men “pussies” you explain the drug-like effects with a little more… tact?
You are right, your tone does motivate people. And it also turns people off to your message sometimes.
On the ‘Sexual Compatibility’ thread, I read through the comments to find useful information, and was aghast to see that the last 30-odd comments are about nothing more than anal sex and feces. It was nauseating even for the few seconds it took for me to see that nothing of value was being discussed.
I am sure that violates a lot of your comment policies, so you may want to delete those comments.
In an email, J.W. wrote:
Don’t you think you could be a little nicer with your messaging? You might get more readers if you weren’t calling people pussies all the time.
I could give you more examples of this but I think you get the point.
There are several things a few of you need to understand…
Item one. While I’m a pretty nice guy in real life, here at this blog, and to some degree in my books, I’m a total asshole.
I’m not “nice.” I am not “understanding.” I have zero “tact.” Fuck you.
I don’t do this because I’m mean or angry. Quite the opposite; I’m one of the happiest men I know. I do this on purpose for the reasons I’m about to explain. My blunt, “mean,” assholeish communication style is a purposeful choice that I’m utilizing on purpose and with great forethought. I’m not ever going to change this tone, regardless of your personal, fragile, beta male feelings on the matter. If you don’t like that, I don’t care.
Which brings me to my next point…
Item two. I live the Alpha Male 2.0 lifestyle which means I make far more money than I need to survive, and do so from multiple income sources that are extremely diversified. One could even argue that I don’t even need to work at all. Moreover, some of you would be very surprised at how much profit per month this blog, and all of its attached products and services actually make in income. And again, that’s just one source of income for me among several that have nothing to do with each other. If I lost this entire Blackdragon / Alpha Male 2.0 business, yeah, I’d be upset for a week or two, but my financial life would continue just fine.
This is a roundabout way of me saying that I don’t need you. Really. I don’t. If my blunt communication style is just too much for your fragile little baby ears, then here’s what you need to do:
1. Stop reading all of my content. Unsubscribe from my blogs if necessary.
2. Don’t ever buy any of my books or join any of my coaching or podcast programs or go to any of my seminars. I don’t want customers like you. I also don’t want people like you around my customers. Seriously. I want your little girl beta-snowflake feelings to be as far away from me and my real customers as humanly possible.
3. Fuck off and never come back. This is not the place for you.
I’m not making a joke, I’m not trying to act cool, and I’m not trying to use some kind of reverse psychology. I’m completely serious. If you are the kind of pussy (yes, I said pussy) that can’t handle tough talk in order to make your life better, then my friend, you are really in the wrong place. You should not listen to anything I say nor consume any of my content.
You should instead go read more friendly, ass-kissing material that tells you it’s perfectly fine for you to be poor, or not get laid, or be unhealthy, or be unhappy, or stay in a shitty monogamous marriage or relationship, because hey man, it’s not your fault, there’s nothing you can do about it, so it’s all good.
Or perhaps go to the more political-based folks who tell you to not worry because everything will be fixed as long as you vote for Donald Trump or Bernie Sanders or some other Messiah-politician who will do everything you want and magically solve all of your problems for you.
But for fuck’s sake, don’t read my stuff. My stuff is based on reality so you’ll hate it.
Item three. Let’s say you know a guy who is 100 pounds overweight. You tell him, “Hey man, it’s okay. It’s hard to lose weight. It’s not your fault. You live in a society that pushes bad food on people and you have a slow metabolism. You can’t expect everyone who is fat to lose weight. So don’t worry man, you’re beautiful on the inside.”
If you say that to him, if that’s the attitude you take with him, YOU ARE HURTING HIM. YOU ARE HARMING HIM. You’re not being “nice.” You’re being a fucking asshole to this person. Yes, you. This guy is headed for some very severe health problems and lifestyle problems if he hasn’t experienced them already. He’ll be depressed and his obesity will kill him. And you will have been an indirect contributor to all of it by encouraging him to stay in such a horrible state. You will have helped sacrifice this person on the altar of “being nice” or “having understanding” or “being empathetic” or “having tact” or whatever other happy horseshit your left-wing college professor or single mother mom or bitchy ex-girlfriend filled your head with when you were younger.
Fuck empathy. That guy needs to lose weight.
See, unlike you, I actually care about and respect this guy. So when I talk to him, I say something like, “Dude! What the FUCK are you doing? 100 pounds overweight? Are you insane? Have you lost your fucking mind? You’re going to FUCKING DIE if you don’t lose weight. You’re going to be miserable! And good luck getting laid with hot chicks. Do you really hate yourself that much? Stop being a pussy, put that pizza down, and start losing weight! Yeah, I know it’s hard. Doesn’t matter. Do it anyway.”
Don’t get hung up on the weight example. Just imagine if I told guys, “Hey man, it’s okay that you’re 37 years old and you’ve never made more than $30,000 a year in your entire life. Money’s not that important. And rich people are assholes. And it takes too much work to make more than that. Just chill man, and be poor. It’s all good.”
Or if I said, “Hey man, it’s okay you haven’t had sex in eight months. Sex isn’t that important as long as you have friends and family who love you. You don’t want to be some kind of immature guy having sex all the time anyway.”
Or if I said, “Hey man, it’s okay that you’re in a miserable relationship with your overweight monogamous girlfriend / wife. Hey, at least you’re not single, am I right?”
What an evil, despicable thing I would be doing to these men, to help them rob them of their happiness like that.
I will never do such a thing. I’m here to help men, not be complicit in their continuing unhappiness.
Unlike you, I have respect for the person that man really is. You look at someone like that and see a sad, pathetic piece of shit. But I look at someone like that and see the great man that man really is, temporarily buried underneath years of pain and false Societal Programming. I want to help that man become who he really should be. You want to help him remain unhappy. Because you’re a pussy and you suck.
Item four. As I’ve said over and over again for several years now, I’m not here to help everyone. I’m not even here to help all men. I’ve said, and I’ve been very clear about this for a very long time, that 90% of men can burn in hell for all I care. I’m only here to help that 10% of men who are either betas tired of being slaves or Alpha Male 1.0s tired of the work and drama.
That’s it. I’m not here to help anyone else. Everyone else can go fuck themselves. Yes, I really mean this. (I’m not mad at anyone; I’m too busy working on my Mission, having sex, and being happy. I’m just saying I don’t give a shit about anyone else. Because I don’t.)
This means that if some men in that 90% don’t like my messaging and leave, that’s a good thing. That means I’m being efficient in helping only those 10% of men I want to help.
If you’re part of that 90%, please, for the love of god, go away. You’re wasting my time and yours. I’m trying to help the 10%, not you. You need to go back to jerking off to porn or bitching about politics on social media or whatever the hell it is you do. I’m trying to talk to the adults, and you’re in my way.
If you’re in that 10%, I’m here to help you. Helping you is literally part of my life Mission and the meaning of my life. One of the ways in which I’m going to help you is to very bluntly tell you what you’re doing wrong so that you’ll improve and be a happier man in the long run. Since you’re in the 10%, I know you can handle that, because I have respect for you and your strength. The guys in the 90% can’t handle it. But who cares? They’re not my problem. Thank god.
Item five. If my goal is to help the 10% of men who actually want and need that kind of help, I need to communicate with them in a way that is most likely for them to actually take corrective action in their lives. This means I have to be blunt, fact-based, and in their faces. If instead I meekly suggest some changes, I won’t be doing my job.
Could you imagine if I went on this blog and said something like, “Okay guys, traditional monogamous marriage doesn’t work. Look at these ten billion stats over here. You’ll just end up cheating and/or getting divorced, losing assloads of money via alimony and communal property, and wind up in child custody court paying blood-sucking attorneys thousands of dollars just to see your own kids. It’s going to seriously screw up your future, so you shouldn’t do this and instead do MLTRs, OLTR or OLTR marriage instead. BUUUUUUUT, if you really want to give traditional monogamous marriage a shot, hey, I understand, that’s cool. I don’t want to judge anyone! I respect your decision. Maybe you will be happier doing that. Maybe you really will find a woman who will stick with you and give you blowjobs for the rest of your life without any complaints and will never divorce you. I mean, sometimes traditional monogamous marriages work out for the best, so who am I to say it doesn’t work? We all find happiness in our own way, and maybe you’ll be happiest doing that. And Jesus and Christianity and white people and Western Culture and all that stuff. Hey man, no worries, go for it.”
PUKE. I could barely type the words in that last paragraph. Damn. (Don’t make me do that again.)
Now be honest: Do you seriously think if my messaging was like that, many men change their behaviors? OF COURSE NOT. Once again, by being “nice” or having “tact” I would be failing in my Mission, my Mission to help you, the 10%.
I don’t do what’s nice here. I do what’s effective. Effectiveness is what I’m all about; it encapsulates every aspect of my life. That’s why I’m so happy. That’s why I want you to be happy.
At this blog, and in much of my other content, I will never be nice. I will never use tact. If you’re in the 90%, I don’t care if you don’t like it and you seriously need to fuck off. If you’re in the 10%, I respect you too much to be nice to you. I see the man you could be; the man you really are.
I’m here to help you become that man.
Want over 35 hours of how-to podcasts on how to improve your woman life and financial life? Want to be able to coach with me twice a month? Want access to hours of technique-based video and audio? The SMIC Program is a monthly podcast and coaching program where you get access to massive amounts of exclusive, members-only Alpha 2.0 content as soon as you sign up, and you can cancel whenever you want. Click here for the details.
Well said & I look forward to reading all the comments that contain the words “I agree but…”
Lol!!
I’m approved this single post.
I’m a little surprised you took the time and energy to explain that to these pussies. If you can’t handle tough talk. What the fuck are they even doing here? IMO. Yeah there’s probably be backlash to this too so fucking what. I’m not completely,eteky happy with where I am I’m changing it slowly, do t agree with everything but I do agree I and only I am responsible for my station in life. Despite a stroke, heart attack and car accident over the last ten years. That shit don’t matter. Only what I do about it matters
Amen. I really appreciate your coaching Caleb. It has completely changed the trajectory of my life. I have made more progress in the last six months than the previous 5 years because you gave it to me straight and didn’t coddle me and my “problems”. You did exactly as I asked and metaphorically became my big brother; smacking me across the face when I really needed it, and lighting the path towards long term consistent happiness. Thanks for all you do.
The Pollitically Correct Police is a pain in the ass
This blog has been a tremendous help for me. Thank you Blackdragon for saving me from the fucked up Asian blue pilled pussy ass social programming that poisoned my mind for decades. I’m scarred, but I won’t stop learning to become real Alpha Male 2.0.
Keep up the great work!
The millennial culture has some seriously annoying and obnoxious sides to it, for sure. It is sad, really, to see so many young men being afraid of being manly, intentionally avoiding being seen as masculine, as it is “sexist” or “immature” in their eyes. Very sad indeed.
That last paragraph, though, has some truth in it. It’s not called being “nice”, but being objective. Monogamous relationships work for some people (actually, the majority), and some (majority) people are genuinely happy being in them. I don’t see any issue with this statement.
Freakin’ snowflakes! Some guys just have oneitis? What a victim, taking no responsibility for his mental/emotional state and learning how to control it.
They think you’re tough (and you are tougher than most) – how about some Dan Pena for these snowflake weenies. So laughable. Keep rockin’ it BD, I know you don’t give a crap nor should you.
“Metaphorically speaking (snowflake) you outta blow your fucking brains out!” -Dan Pena 🙂
LMAO I expect record views for this post. I admit it actually took me time to get that the asshole tone was purposeful, it reminded me that you sounded much nicer in the podcast with Alan Roger Currie. I fully agree with the idea, men who can’t take a blunt tone aren’t gonna benefit from your material anyway.
What a completely retarded, clueless, and lobotomized thing to say!!!! Dude, stop drooling!
LMFAO!!!!!
No dude, they’re not. They either (1) get divorced and bankrupt, (2) cheat or get cheated on, or (3) spend the rest of their lives in total misery and depression!
Monogamy only works for a microscopic portion of the population with insanely low sex drives (bordering on asexuality) and zero life ambitions.
How can you be this blue pill even after reading BD’s stuff? Monogamy? What monogamy? Everyone is in an open relationship. Their partner just doesn’t know it. Or they’re depressed and miserable!
I don’t see monogamy anywhere! Everyone is sleeping around. If they’re not, they’re suicidal!
That Fuck you cracks me up every time.
What these people don’t understand is that if it wasn’t for your tone and direct way we wouldn’t stick around for long.
In a world where feelings and political correctness reign supreme, it’s very welcome to see a blunt style like yours that actually intends on helping those who want to be helped. I’m loosely quoting Terrence Popp on Redonkulous (another blunt guy) when he says “feefee’s and wahwah’s don’t build civilization”.
On another side note on guys now beyond help, I saw Gene Simmons interviewed recently by Dan Rather on his big interview show and they spoke in some length about his now marriage. I dare you to watch it all the way through-it’s pretty cringy. Basically he says he was nonmonogamous all those decades because he was selfish and immature. Now he’s stepped up to be a “real man” and is a fully faithful husband. His other excuse for banging all those girls over the years was because his father left them when he was very young and he just didn’t want to be like his father and end up bailing on his marriage. Um yea….how the mighty have fallen. I’m guessing he had some kind of mortality scare, especially since he’s a bit older now.
Wow, you’re almost as big an asshole as I am. Good for you!
Honestly Caleb I’ve never gotten a vibe that you’re an asshole at all.
Plus you account for peoples personal differences in your blogs, posts, and programs. The same way we note that there are Right Leaning Libertarians and Left Leaning Libertarians there are going to be different types of Alpha 2.0’s and you’re plenty okay with that.. As well as Non 2.0 guys. The same way there are different types of non-monogamous guys out there.
Preach it black dragon. We love you. Don’t change a damn thing.
You have been blunt, you have been direct, but I, for one, have never perceived you as an asshole. It’s funny how often one mistakenly assesses one’s impact on others to be way stronger than it actually is. When doing pranks or magic tricks, it’s astounding how your secret preparations feel so obvious to you yet the audience is still oblivious.
Lol, this post is so alpha male 1.0, 2.0 will not write comments like this. #frustration
It’s pure motivation. We need trained. BD is the trainer. Drill Seargeants, Football coaches, etc. They will be hardasses on you to motivate you. Motivation is what divorced pussy beta males need most.
One more item to add is: This is EDUTAINMENT. It’s fun and funny along with the salubrious message. ‘Blackdragon’ is an invented CHARACTER whose comportment may or may not be those of Caleb Jones. So just lighten up already!!
I don’t usually comment but I’ve noticed a ton of bitching in the comments lately. Caleb I’m surprised you kept responding to ridiculous examples in the last few posts. It’s really a shame, I think a lot of those commenters are missing some basic 2.0 concepts.
Just like everything else in life, your feelings are also your fault.
Example: If I don’t agree with someone I just think to my self, “wow that’s wrong” or (if really dumb), “Your’e an idiot”, then carry on with my day. It’s not worth my time or energy to argue with them or feel badly about it. I’m busy getting stuff done. More than anything, I won’t get my feelings hurt about it, especially if it was a blog post I read….. wtf?
Hey Caleb,
Would taking a FB out to a high end swingers club (to try to land a threesome/orgy) be considered a date and therefore too relationship like ?
The title is pretty much what I say to women.
Sometimes I really think that the millennial men who are able to man up and “make it,” as in actually change their station in life are going to go down as one of the greatest (socially at least) generations of men.
At no prior time in history have men been shamed for being men or shamed for trying to improve themselves as men. The social consequences for failure are growing by the year, and the standards men are held to have risen to new highs.
For those of you confused as to why I would make a post like this, this is a “link-to” post. I do these from time to time as a strategic move. From now on, any time someone in the comments complains about my tone (which happens regularly), instead of repeating myself, I can simply link them to this article. It’s a time management technique. (I also expect this post to get a lot of traffic, and it already has, so there’s that too. I like traffic because I like money.)
Some people win the lottery too. Should I start recommending to everyone that they invest in lottery tickets?
Incorrect. They fail for the vast majority in the Western world, and as a regular reader of this blog it is odd you would make such a nonsensical statement. Stats:
https://alphamale20.com/blackdragonblog/2014/07/13/divorce-statistics/
https://alphamale20.com/blackdragonblog/2016/08/15/often-people-cheat-real-stats/
https://alphamale20.com/blackdragonblog/2015/11/16/what-life-long-marriage-really-looks-like/
Love him. He goes a little overboard with the tough love sometimes, but I get what he’s doing completely.
I follow semi-regularly Gene Simmons so yeah, I saw it. And yeah, that part was bad. Just remember he’s an old man (well into his 60s) and one with extreme oneitis. That doesn’t excuse it, it just explains it.
Yep. That’s because you’re in the 10%, and thus can read between the lines.
Happily telling most readers of my blog that I don’t need them is as Alpha 2.0 as you can get. Please specifically explain how this post is Alpha 1.0 in any way.
1. If you’ve watched carefully, I actually respond to less silly comments now than I did 6 months ago. I’ve seriously cut back on the amount of time I spend commenting.
2. When I actually engage an irrational poster in brief conversation, I’m doing it to demonstrate his thought process to the readers, not to actually change his mind.
3. You’ll notice that I always bail out of these conversations very fast, as soon as I’ve made it clear the guy has no actual points and is just experiencing emotions (like the guy above who thinks this post is Alpha 1.0), which never takes very long. I never engage in any drawn out, back-and-forth conversation with these people.
And that’s the correct attitude to have, but what if that was on a blog that made you a lot of money? Now engaging that person a little is actually an income source for you and a worthy expenditure of our time (as long as you cut it off quickly, which I do).
https://alphamale20.com/blackdragonblog/off-topic/
Me too. (If they complain, and most don’t.)
As part of your “1,000 Fans” I endorse this post.
P.S: You forgot the mikedrop at the end 😁
I’m 36 and am in that boat and guess what? Years ago I thought I was cool cuz I was cheating the system by pretty much avoiding taxes because I was so broke. But probably starting last year I realized that it was a dead end. Not cool, and its starting to get old. So now its time for me to remove my ego and bust my ass. I even began SMIC because I was so sick of being broke (and I put that off for WAY too long).
This article is so amazing that BD should make a “start here” page on the blog that contains this article.
And I’ve listened to BD’s podcasts. I can totally tell that like me, BD is the type who is really cool and chill in person, but is not afraid to call pathetic faggots who say stupid shit out.
And two or so years ago, I was one of them, but I’ve been cleaning up my act slowly. Still got a lot cut out for me tho.
Not directly as you don’t have ads on this blog, correct?
So the money is indirect because traffic makes people buy your books/ services? Just asking as I bought your books and paid for it but I consider my weekly website visits to you as a free excursion to happyland 🙂 Maybe I miss the direct link….
I don’t find this blog that “shocking” or rude whatsoever.
Then again I’m not sheltered nor go to Sunday school, so yeah. Classic example of “you can’t please everyone all the time” – nor should you.
I also swear with impunity (at least online) — and to some people, any statement, even benevolent statements with profanities — it short circuits them and seems aggressive and even violent when it isn’t. Fucking A’
Yeah I’m not surprised you get a deluge of haters and people who hate being called “pussies”. Tough love is needed. No one cares, like the one guy you quoted, that your oneitis was “totally unique” and was the “greatest love there ever was, like a heroin addiction” — every dope with oneitis thinks that and they DO need a rude awakening/ slap upside the head.
Just like the 350lb diabetic guy you referenced. Don’t say “big is beautiful” and “we’re all different shapes man” — no that guy has a serious food addiction (mental disorder) and is slowly killing himself and needs serious intervention. Now yes there is a difference between constructive feedback and destructive feedback. I mean in that case, when the guy says the Taco Bell “fresco” menu is healthy (I’ve heard this from multiple sources … holy shit) — you need to give him “real talk” even if hurts his fee fees. Conversely, saying “run fatty run” when you see him jogging on the street is destructive trolling, of course.
Now yeah, a dateless chode living a life of miserable pain? It might not be that obvious externally that he needs serious help (or maybe – simply nobody cares). But yeah he probably does need help. Not coddling. Some people would massively benefit if they did have a real-life friend who would “cut the crap” and tell them to shut up, nut up, and start handling shit.
In most cases though – simply nobody gives a damn about your problems.
Coddling leads to a pussy generation that will be eaten by wolves.
This is Sparta, bitches.
Agreed.
“None of you seem to understand. I’m not locked in here with you — you’re locked in here with me.”
–Rohrschach, Watchmen
Relevant:
I have ads all over this blog. Just not Google Adsense ads. My own ads for my own stuff. These can’t be stopped by ad blockers. 🙂
Right. Though I don’t consider it indirect.
I was literally singing that song as I was writing this post. Seriously.
When we first interacted, you could have simply sent me this and I would have thought……damn………I’m an asshole too. 🙂
Where’s the like button. This is exactly why you candy asses need BD. Oh this women is like a drug “pussy” BD is doing everything he can to talk you off the ledge after she dumps your ass and starts banging a loser who doesn’t do a fraction of the provider crap you do. Far as I’m concerned this blog is the bible.
Those who complain about your tone and lack of tact (fuck em) will continue to read you, and are in fact the ones who need to be spoken to in that manner to the most.
NO, that is not destructive trolling. Its encouraging. People need to do it more often. Something like that happened when I went for a run at the park this afternoon. I run topless cuz its a really good way of working on a tan. MUCH better than just sitting at the beach and getting sunburnt. So one of the park rangers yells out “nice man boobs!!” at me. I yelled out “Right? I’m trying to get rid of em!” Then dude gives me a thumbs up.
Insults are encouraging. Look at Gordon Ramsay, perfect example. Insults the shit out of the people who cooks for him (its not JUST for TV, he actually does this) and they improve by leaps and bounds.
My bowling coach used to be like: If you bowl bad and don’t get on the varsity team (or get booted from the varsity team, which is what happened to me lol), then you chose to bowl bad. Live with it. I only want GOOD bowlers on my team.
Insults are encouraging.
BRAVO!
What is it with people today? Oh, right. They’re product of our mollycoddle culture and educational system.
Everyone thinks they’re entitle to airing their opinion anywhere and everywhere simply because they have one — and being the unique, special snowflake they’ve been brainwashed to believe. FUCK ‘EM!
You’ve done what I’ve done to give me the freedom to be an asshole anytime and anywhere I desire. I’m financially independent (have been for 15 years) and don’t have to put up with anyone’s bullshit. Being a nice guy ass-kisser suck-up cuck-up doesn’t affect my income one iota. In fact, one of the secrets of my success is being the alpha asshole if/when called for — whether in business, socially or personally.
I can just tell people to fuck off, fuck themselves, and get the fuck outta my face. I’m the most charming, gregarious guy you’ll likely to meet — until you start telling me what I should or should not do, say or be. FUCK YOU! I say to those people.
If a man can’t let his asshole monster off the lease for fear of how that will affect his life, income or ultimate happiness, that man is a slave to an aspect of beta behavior that makes me want to — well — be an ASSHOLE!
I really like the bluntness of this blog. It definitely sends a more powerful (or sometimes entertaining) message.
Also, fully agree that hearing the brutal truth is often the most motivating.
It’s too bad so many otherwise very intelligent men do not grasp or deny the concepts covered on this blog. I recently sent links to this blog to two guys I know who I strongly believe would benefit from it. One said it blew his mind and started reading through every post in the archives. The other (whom I used to date) hasn’t responded.
Anyway, love the blog. Let the haters hate:D
You don’t use ads like AdSense: is it not worth it financially or philosophically?
I’ve been following your blog for like, 8 years, and the whole time your abrasive tone has been a weird mystery to me. No real argument to have with you, it’s just nice to finally get the mystery of your tone answered for me.
I’ve always respected your logic and research and while I haven’t checked the stats, you pretty much convinced me monogamy’s probably bad for at least a lot of people (if not most people)–but damn, your tone’s gotten more violent over the years and I didn’t understand why. Tbh it didn’t BOTHER me so much as CONFUSE me as it seems to have gotten more aggressive over the years.
My leading theories were a) adapting the hyper-masculine arrogant style of the manosphere internet sphere. b) you just came from my Dad’s generation and you’re all generally more assholes than males from my generation (I’m 22) or c) Toxically masculine destructive guys get a lot of success because people like assholes, even if those assholes are bad. So a lot of people speak like toxic masuline guys because it causes some level of success.
(I get it, this is a place which really hates and doesn’t agree with the concept of toxic masculinity, I’m like the one sjw milennial who likes and reads this blog and wants to follow a lot of it’s advice, just insert the term Alpha Male 1.0 instead if that works better for you).
The thing which stopped me from accepting these theories was your freedom-based, I don’t care what other people do beliefs. That’s basically the mindset of someone who seems like they’d be chill in real life, since most aggressive or anal-retentive attack-y people IRL are people who give too much of a shit about the life decisions of everyone they meet. I mean, you seem to hate feminist ideology, but you say feminists like you, so I sensed a huge difference between blog tone and real life tone.
At least it all makes sense now. Tbh for this past year my thought has been “I’ll probably at least for a while in my life in the far future write a self-improvement book, and BD is good at that–but DAMN, I am NOT going to speak as aggressively or insultingly as he does.”
But now your tone makes sense. Tbh though, I think personally I can reproduce your tonal effect to motivate people in my own way without being as insulting, I’ve achieved similar results of people really being upset and angry to me just by saying the truth as honestly as possible and as critically as possible, but calmly. But I guess if the end result is people being angry at us either way, the tonal difference barely matters LOL.
But hey, I believe it works for you. I get it–people are stupid and complacent and lazy, and you need to scream YOU’RE DYING IN A FIRE YOU MORON before they jump running away from the fire.
Awesome. Love the post.
I’m fucking sick of these idiots, celebrities for example that say a truth that offends some people and people have a cry then the next minute they are like “Oh I didn’t mean it”.
I have always hoped that one of them would come up to the microphone to ‘apologize’ and be like “I’m sorry.. that you can’t handle me telling the truth, why don’t you shut the fuck up” and then leave. This post is basically comparable to that.
All this ‘tolerance’ bullshit going around, where they pretend they are tolerant yet are the least tolerant people around. Not everything should be tolerated, nor should I have to pretend I tolerate all kinds of faggotry and bullshit.
You want the truth?
You can’t handle the truth!
I’ve spent the past 30 years giving my all to people only to find most of them don’t and never will appreciate it and it was almost never reciprocated. The problem was that I wanted more for them and their lives than they wanted for themselves. The majority of people I have encountered during my life have been value takers, what I call “drains”.
A few years ago I made the conscious decision to put myself first and only give value to those that can provide me value. This resulted in more authentic relationships and put my happiness to a whole new level.
I look at all these losers now, with their land whale wives (who are fucking who will have them), their dead end jobs, their mortgaged to the hilt rabbit hutch homes and their crushing debt. Nothing I could have said or done would have changed a thing, in fact I was resented for thinking and acting against the grain.
It took me a while to realise this but we are the 1% who do things how we want and this has to be embraced.
My life is now a masterpiece and my mantra isn’t “I don’t give a fuck” but “Why WOULD I give a fuck?
I am curious your take on mid life crisis, or the low in life that occurs in the 40’s and early 50’s for men. I feel that I have gone through it and I see many of my friends also entering it. It is a period of anger, reflection, unhappiness, dissatisfaction, defiance, recklessness, and many other emotions. I think your main goal is happiness and sex, and I am curious if you think you are immune to mid-life crisis, and if not, how you have dealt with it or intend to deal with it. Thanks.
It’s not the tone, it’s really the message.
If BD wrote things like “Let’s get Valentine’s Day job properly done, you morons” or “Are you a fucking pervert?! Stop looking at 16 year olds!” or “Marriages don’t work because you selfish bastards don’t care” the TONE wouldn’t be an issue.
If your life is in a crappy state, those emotions may be your best friend. They may be telling you to make some changes. Some of the people who get angry at this blog have probably taken the first step. They just need to understand where the anger is coming from and then channel that energy into something useful.
Some commenters are attributing the rise of hypersensitivity in our culture to millennials. I don’t think that’s true. For the last 50 years or so, a significant percentage of the population has rarely or never faced any real adversity. This has a way of changing societal perspectives on what is important and what is not. Couple that with the fact there has always existed a significant subset of the human population whose members have an insatiable appetite for drama or thin skin, and you can see that the ingredients for trouble had already come together. The only thing that makes the hypersensitivity seem like a more recent phenomenon, thereby casting suspicion on millennials, is the internet and social media. These innovations allow people to seek confirmation bias, find echo chambers, and engage in completely uncivil and inflammatory discourse behind the relative anonymity of a computer screen. Yes, millennials are a big segment of the hypersensitive population, but so are Gen-Xers and Boomers.
Case in point: I work for a non-profit at which the employees are mostly so freaking sensitive that it actually makes it hard to accomplish anything. People think I’m a dick and pushy because I’m very direct about not wasting time and getting shit done. Everyone else would rather spend their time delicately building consensus, all the while making sure no one is excluded or has hurt feelings. The average employee age (outside of a few outlier teams) is mid-40s, i.e. not millennials.
May I suggest a good “link to” for all defenders of oneitis, monogamy, etc… The kind of article: “it’s good to be a beta” full of OB and SP, as an alternative for people you don’t want on this blog. 😉
https://www.fatherly.com/health-science/scientifically-backed-benefits-lower-testosterone/
Good point. “delicately building consensus”, LMAO this could be applied to so many things.
What is SMIC?
@Gang
That article made my T drop just by reading it. Just more of the typical “masculine bad” crap from the mainstream. Proper levels of T are important to a man’s overall health and mentality. “Naturally your wife loves it…”??? Not long term she won’t. Can you say betaization kids? I’m sure the wife really digs those man tits-maybe she’ll throw a little pity sex your way. The writers of articles like those really have no clue about male/female dynamics. Just be a good little docile boy, follow the rules and don’t ask questions…
Instead of writing about all these super awesome benefits of low T, they should be telling guys how to maintain T levels during domesticity. It is true that living with a woman and having babies will lower your levels so you need to be vigilant and counter that as best you can.
To be honest, I don’t have very many “haters” (which is surprising). Just pussies.
Logistically. I will add a small number AdSense (or AdSense-like) ads to this blog the next time I update the site; some time in the next few months, perhaps early next year. But that will be just a little trickle of side-income, not the main income this blog generates. This blog exists to sell my stuff, not other people’s stuff.
I spent the first 15 years of my adult life behaving with women the way women said to behave. Being the nice guy. Being the gentleman. Not trying to fuck them on the 2nd date. Flowers and dinner. Monogamy. And so on. It got me nowhere (except a divorce and lots of wasted money on dinner dates). In 2007 I decided to behave with women on my terms. It not only worked, but worked in ways so amazing I had no idea how wonderful it could be.
My monthly podcast and coaching program:
http://www.joinsmic.com
We don’t really *hate* Toxic Masculinity, we just know that it is a massive waste of energy and sometimes is feminine in disguise.
Alpha 1s, for example. According to BD’s description, Alpha 1s desire to control others. This makes them outcome dependent.
Living and dying by the “laycount” (another Alpha 1 thing) assumes that you are comparing yourself to others, which is, again, outcome dependence.
Outcome dependence is not masculine. BUT neither is giving up on life and relying on others to help you (for a prolonged period, like over a year), which is what Betas eventually do instead of pursuing the Alpha 2 path.
Given the comments in the most recent “Looks” post, this is a good idea.
Unfollowed and unsubscribed. Downloaded my copy of The Unchained Man on to a flash drive and smashed it with a hammer.
Just kidding. Thanks for keeping it real. See you at 21Con
@BD
Good call writing this as a link-to. I hope the haters/pussies don’t discourage you too much.
I found this blog as a newly-single 26 y/o, bought a couple books and put your system to the test. I’ve had a rotation of 3-8 girls for the past year. Not to mention I’ve never had so little drama in my woman life.
Further, buying a couple of your books was ironically a HUGE savings as I now get from meeting to sex for about $10-20 per girl (and the girls stick around about 6mo on avg) – I used to spend THOUSANDS on getting sex over a 6 month period
No idea how many “dating coaches” are out there these days. You and the late Patrice O’neal are the only ones I spend my attention on.
So in a nutshell… Thank you for your work. I’m always looking forward to more 🙂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUhc3Kv4ieE
If using bad words and saying things in a blunt (not insulting) manner is offensive to you, I’m sorry, but you’re a massive pussy. Blackdragon isn’t an asshole at all, if you read any of his comments, he’s always nice, even when he’s replying to a complete idiot who doesn’t want an honest debate. That’s exactly one of the reasons why I like this blog so much, he cuts through the bullshit and actually tells you what’s wrong and how to fix it, instead of being condescending and aggressive for no reason in order to massage the author’s ego and put on a ”tough” image (quite a few manosphere writers fit this description).
Unfortunately, very few people tell it like it is anymore.
I guess this article is a love fest, but I think it violates the prime directive:
https://alphamale20.com/blackdragonblog/rules/
Civility doesn’t have to die in order to be blunt or direct.
Even IF they are insults they aren’t offensive. Case in point: Gordon Ramsay. He insults his cooks constantly (even when not on TV) and guess what it makes them want to kick ass in the kitchen.
Its different if its coming from someone who DOESN’T know their shit but if its coming from someone who DOES, it’s not an insult.
That’s why I want personal insults to be allowed on this blog. All things considered, most of them are well meaning. I remember when I would get pissy with my bowling team because if I had a bad night and was salty one of my teammates would be like “if that’s how you really feel, do me a favor and run in front of a train.” That’s cuz he knew that I was better than my salty behavior.
The more people tell you how pathetic you are (whilst showing you a better way, like BD, that’s the key thing) the better.
Again, I bring up the fact that I’ve never made more than a minimum wage income. That’s pathetic. I realize that now. I was virtually doing it in my sleep. If someone like BD who knows how to make lots more money doing much better work comes around and says “you should kill yourself for allowing yourself to be so broke all the time. Get to work, follow my lead, and quit being a faggot,” then come hell or high water I will do anything it takes to get to that $75000 per year. And every day the pieces are coming together. I haven’t been this excited about anything in nearly 15 years.
My college bowling coach was very similar to BD. He straight up said to our team “if we average more than 2 opens (missed spares) per game, then NONE of us deserve to bowl in tournaments. Get to work, get on the lanes, practice your spares, and quit acting like a baby about this. This is college bowling, not junior league softball where everyone gets to play and gets a trophy.”
Insults (from people who know their shit).
Make.
You.
Better.
I suggest you reread the article, because it’s obviously talking to you.. and take your shit somewhere else.
@joelsuf – Personal insults (especially those coming from an internet commenter) don’t generally bother me. That said, personal insults being on the “no-no” list in a forum like this is a good thing. Do you really want to wade through a bunch of internet pissing matches to find comments with actual substance? I don’t. That problem is the exact reason why I’ve mostly opted out of using social media in recent years (that and I have a busy and fulfilling real world life).
I think there’s a happy medium somewhere, where you can unabashedly tell the truth, and yet be compassionate. I don’t think having men tell themselves all day that they’re a pussy is productive either; they should be on their own side, and yet open to constructive criticism. Admittedly, reading a blog is more fun and interesting with more emotional language.
Yes I do. Go on Bold and Determined and you’ll find out why. Not only are Victor Pride’s blogs (and the comments) VERY fun to read, they are hell bent of taking weakness and telling it to go kill itself. Pride is an even bigger asshole than BD and to me that’s awesome. I will admit he can be a raging Alpha 1 tho.
If insults were allowed on this blog, JOTB’s responses alone would be a legitimate cure for depression. And nearly everyone here knows their Alpha 2 shit in some aspect. And as I mentioned previously, insults (from people who know their shit) make people better. So yes, this blog would be better if BD allowed insults. Or at the very least it would be a great source of entertainment.
Now yes, this means there would be shitposters. But most shitposters get butthurt REAL fast, and since most of us are a bunch of Alpha 2s who don’t get butthurt, there wouldn’t be a lot of shitposting.
That’s because Social Media is nothing BUT shitposting by people who follow SP and External Solutions. This blog is way different. That kind of problem wouldn’t take place here (and like I said if it did, it would solve itself since Alpha 2s don’t get as butthurt as shitposters).
LOL! I do wish BD would allow ad hominems. They would allow us to be more honest and truthful.
What should never be allowed are drive bys. It should be a requirement that everything you say be explained. You shouldn’t be allowed to simply say “you’re a complete retard” and then just leave it at that. That would be a drive by. You must explain yourself so that the person you’re attacking can have something substantive to respond to, so a debate can be had.
In other words, drive bys should be forbidden. If you don’t want to debate, then you shouldn’t be allowed to say anything at all.
But ad hominems which are explained should be perfectly allowed. Just my $0.02.
BD, I gotta say that your well-timed rant to all the self-bullshitters on here is appropriate for more than just getting men to clean up their act.
Being direct and truthful and uncompromising is a key to relationships with women.
Women despise weak guys and guys who lie to themselves. And once a guy cements this impression in the woman’s mind, the pussy tap dries up.
No. Just the second sentence, maybe, for a short while, then we’ll get bored and want the no-insult rule back. The readership of this blog does NOT have an alpha2.0 majority. The no-name calling and personal attacks rule is good. It doesn’t mean it isn’t depriving us of some useful possibilities, but the price is small. Shitposters will not get bored, they shitpost because they like it, and they WILL get some readers who’ll keep feeding them.
Personally, if I had a page I might allow something like one insult per comment, of the “moron/idiot/ignorant” type. But even that may be a bad idea because the butthurt will be reacting with walls-of-text of insults and I’ll have to clean up again, which is stupid. BD’s rule is sound.
I think you’re mistaken on this for similar reasons to the reasons you used to think earning very little money was okay: you’re still prioritizing fun and/or a twisted form of comfort/convenience over efficiency, on some fronts.
I think they should be allowed just for the entertainment and to see how butthurt and triggered people get. Yes, shitposts are annoying, but when others get butthurt by it…that shit can cure any kind of bad mood lol.
The amount of people who get triggered and butthurt by a simple insult online is astoundingly hilarious, and reveals SO many things about how narcissistic we’ve become.
…Guilty as Charged. Will admit, its very fun seeing others get butthurt. What can I say? Cyberbullying is addictive! lol. But yes I really do need to stop. I think once I do I’ll be MUCH more productive. I actually might take something like this to the Alpha 2 Community boards where there is more serious conversation over there, as messing with others on the internet is my latest really bad addiction. For the last five or so years, its been cutting into my productivity…
This must be why schools are so bad. If only they let the teachers and the kids berate each other, everybody would learn so much better. It’s backed by science!
And yet you feel you have the right to lecture others. Every comment should start with a person’s income or net worth. I only want to read advice from successful people.
This makes zero sense. Was the conversation about money? Because if not, what does his net worth have to do with whether he is right or wrong on the particular subject at hand?
Why? What does their economic success, or lack of it, have to do with anything that isn’t money related?
Are you suggesting that people who aren’t successful with money can’t be successful with women, or other things that have nothing to do with money? Because you’re dangerously close to calling all sex transactional and all women prostitutes.
If you’re talking about how to get rich or start a successful business, then I agree that the teacher’s net worth starts to matter. But if the subject is, for example, about getting laid or whether or not you should be an asshole on the internet, you don’t have to have any money in order to have a valid opinion.
Or are you suggesting that only the rich get laid? Or only the rich can pass judgment on internet civility? Again, what do these things have to do with how much money a person has?
You’re acting like an elitist. Poor people, for all you know, have lots and lots of things to teach you that have nothing to do with money. Like, getting laid, for example.
You’ve changed my thinking and my entire fucking life since I discovered you in 2011. I honestly don’t know where I would be if I had never discovered this blog.
I wouldn’t change a thing about your tone or message. It’s meant to target a specific demographic of men with laser-like precision. Not only does it work, but it gets the point across as efficiently and convincingly as I see possible.
Hey JOTB, his logic be like – 2+2 = 4 said by a non-mathematician must be wrong!
I lectured someone? Where?
If I did, it certainly wasn’t about money (couldn’t be; since I admittedly suck at making money at the moment). I did tell someone on another post about being outcome independent…but I wouldn’t consider that lecturing.
All I did was suggest that shitposting be allowed for lulz.
Legit. This is another very rare moment where JOTB and I agree on something.
For example, I shame people who get one itis and who seek out external solutions all the time, because I know how to resist getting one itis and I know how to resist the SP that drives people to pursue external solutions. I also know exactly how they are a big waste of energy, how they pressure people to do certain things and how that’s not right, etc etc etc. Soooo if someone goes “lol guilty as charged. How do I resist getting one itis and pursuing external solutions, anyways?” I can tell them how. I don’t need a $1m net worth for that, although it would help.
I DO need that $1m net worth if I was to shame the club bouncer who is making $200 a week, cuz I would have no real information on how to get him to make more money since I’m trying to make more money myself. So I would never shame someone like that. But when I get that $1m net worth and I know exactly HOW I got to that kind of net worth, best believe I’ll start getting at those types. I look forward to that day.
Hope this clears things up.
I sort of agree with this, but success can be a very subjective measure. It’s amazing how many people are considered successful who are in fact anything but. Scores of bloggers and social media moguls/influencers dispense terrible advice daily, and their followers gobble it up. It’s funny and sad at the same time. Weight loss and diet experts are great examples. Nothing makes me laugh harder than a chronically obese person saying, “What worked for me is…”. Nothing actually worked for you! You’re still fat!
I find it fascinating how the 90% and the 10% are identifying themselves in this thread, and often without realizing it.
I’ve been reading though the commenters while pointing at the screen saying, “10%, 10%, 10%, 90%, 10%, 10%, 90%….”
Fun.
LMAO! My sides!!! Don’t you know that ever time you have premarital sex you make baby Jesus cry and contribute to white genocide?! Do you really want to be responsible for that?!!
Exactly. This is the final conclusion of hyper-credentialism, which inevitably turns into a type of fascism. Image becomes glorified at the expense of substance. Your paperwork is the only thing that matters and your wisdom becomes contingent on your fancy imagery (diplomas, etc…), not on its substance.
I’m reminded of that Simpsons episode when the Simpsons went to Congress to pass a law, so Lisa simply wrote it and paper-clipped it to an existing bill that Congress was going to vote on. Then, a Congressmen read Lisa’s attached bill and said, “Oh well, it IS paper-clipped.”
And yes, I am still bitter over the hell that I had to go through just to get a law degree.
Findlaw.com (which you can access for free right now) has the full text of every single U.S. Supreme Court decision ever. Any idiot can read it. And yet, when I quote a case, there have been people who believed me only because I actually am a real lawyer who really did pass the bar, not because I simply looked up the case and read it, which I could have just as easily done even if I were a high school drop out with an internet connection! LMAO!!!!
This is why I hate credentialism. It opposes capitalism and the very concept of merit.
When it comes to the law especially, if only people knew what they can Google, people like me would be homeless and starving. I’m retired now, but I did kinda make my money off of credentialism, since that’s sadly how our society is structured.
In other words, you have to be successful concerning the specific thing that you are giving advice about. That’s all that matters.
So you can give all the advice you want even if you’re living in abject poverty in the middle of the ghetto in government housing, as long as the advice you’re giving isn’t about money.
Legit, most of my advice is about resisting hypersensitivity, external solutions, one itis, and “depression,” all four of which are not easy to resist when life has beaten you down a lot. But NONE of my advice is about money, since I have just begun my quest for location independent income and the $75k a year goal that BD talks about.
Confidence Transformation (Dr. Aziz)
C X R X 2A X OMOS
=
R² TRANSFORMATION
C = clarity
R = receptivity
2A = 2 kinds of action, immediate, consistent
omos = on my own side
R² = rapid and radical transformation
BD,
I don’t want you to become a nice guy. I disagree with you at times, but that’s what adults are supposed to do. This place is a fresh perspective on a number of topics, even if I don’t see eye to eye with you.
Although, I do wish that this text field was at the top of all comments so that I wouldn’t have to scroll forever just to write a reply (reddit did this correcty, one of the few things that it does well). This can ve improved.
Ok, now that that is said, the whole bitching about millenials is nuts. You grow up in a society of doubt, unstable economy/society and unstable families. So yes, young adults these days are not assertive as they were. Men have been told that they are evil. Whites are told that they are Nazis. And then you find out millenials are actually trying to enact positive social change (yes, they are being lied to and yes they believed the lies).
My beef? The fucking boomers. They got their gubment spending amd their tax cuts and didn’t have enough kids. What’s the solution? Import 3rd worlders so that they can enjoy living like fucking kings!!! But Timmy can go fuck himself while paying for everyone else. Timmy is pissed. He’ll either vote for a socialist or a fascist because he has no way to make a life for himself (getting laid, building a career, a decent house in the burbs, etc.)
@Dracus 18
So your belief is that boomers benefitted from tax cuts and chose not to have enough children who would support them through taxes in order that they can live a comfortable retirement?
What about the boomer who has worked hard, save and invested HIS own money and lives comfortably at 50, retired and happy. Is he to blame too?
And because of these selfish boomers we are now importing 3rd world immigrants to help support these retirees?
Are these the same immigrants who can’t speak the native language, many are on welfare benefits or tax credits and some spend their leisure time raping western women and grooming young western females?
AMEN!
Yumm, young western females. But don’t worry I’m the secular type of third worlder, I speak 4-ish languages and I receive less than $1000 welfare per year, so the only way I’m a problem is as semi-loyal competition 🙂