03 Jul Ranking Your Seven Life Areas
-By Caleb Jones
If you’ve read my primary book you already know that every man has seven life areas, or SLA. Any way in which you spend your time will fall into one or more of these SLA. They are:
- Financial
- Woman
- Physical
- Spiritual
- Family
- Social
- Recreational
In the book, I laid out several graphs and charts that showed the SLA as a pie chart, with some areas larger than others for different men, depending on the man’s personality, age, and where he was in life. I described how some of the SLA may not be important to you at all, and how that was okay. For example, you might be a single guy with no siblings, no kids, and parents who live far away. Therefore, the family side of your life is an area that doesn’t apply to you (at least for now) and that you don’t need to worry about.
Using myself as an example, the financial, woman, physical, family, and recreational sides of my life are very important to me. Family less so, since my kids are now grown up and the last one is moving out soon. The social side of my life is present, since I’m around people all the time, but I’m an introvert so it’s not very important to me. (That’s just me though; other Alpha 2.0’s consider their social life extremely important, as I described here.) I have a spiritual side, but in my opinion, focusing hard on your spiritual life when you’re younger than age 50 doesn’t make a lot of sense to me, so my spiritual life isn’t significant right now. This will change as I get older though.
I also talked about how the financial and woman sides of your life represent a fundamental baseline to masculine happiness, and how these two areas are always important to any man, regardless of anything else (age, personality, etc). This is because if you have no money and/or are literally never having sex, you won’t be very happy even if the other five SLA in your life are perfect.
This is why the vast majority of my content is focused on your financial and woman life; I know these two areas are important to you know matter what your personality is or how old you are. (These are also the two areas I happen to be best in, and thus, can render the most advice about.)
I also talked about how some areas of your SLA you’ll be good at, and others you’ll be weaker in. To again use me as an example, I’m great at financial (I’ve always been a “natural” at it). I used to be terrible with women, but I spent a few years and worked on that, so now I’m great at that too. I’ve always been bad at physical, and I’m still not very good at it (at least in my opinion) but I’ve gotten much better at it over the last ten years, and I’m continuing to grow there. And so on.
The SLA provide a framework from which you can design your personal Code, Mission, and goals. Refer to chapters 7-10 in the book for more detail on all that.
Today, I’m going to cover an aspect of the SLA I didn’t really touch on in the book. It’s something I learned a very long time ago from one of my key mentors, Brian Tracy.
Once you’ve determined which of the SLA directly apply to you (and remember, not all of them will, and that’s okay) you should rank them all on a scale from 1 to10. Then, you should set goals on which ones to raise, and how much.
Don’t get hung up on exactly what a “10” or a “5” means when you do this. It’s all subjective, and that’s fine. A financial life that’s a “10” to me might look different from a financial life that’s “10” to you. Just make your best guess on these things based on your personality and long-term goals.
Once again, I’ll use myself as an example. Here’s me when I was about 22 years old:
Financial:
- Financial: 5
- Woman: 1
- Physical: 7 (it’s always easier to have a higher-ranked physical when you’re younger)
- Spiritual: NA
- Family: 5
- Social: NA
- Recreational: 3
I was working very hard, had pretty much no life, and was making money, but had debt and other problems. On the overall, things weren’t horrible, but not very good.
Here’s me when I was about 30 years old as a traditionally married, stressed-out beta male:
- Financial: 7
- Woman: 4
- Physical: 2
- Spiritual: NA
- Family: 8
- Social: NA
- Recreational: 3
I was still working hard, making good money, had lots of debt, very high expenses, was monogamous and married well past the three year mark (which means lots of drama and not very much sex), and was decently overweight and out of shape. My family life was strong though, since I had re-oriented my time to spend more time with my kids and wife.
Again on the overall, things were not that great.
Here’s me today:
- Financial: 9
- Woman: 10
- Physical: 7 compared to the typical American, 8.5 compared to the typical American male my age
- Spiritual: NA
- Family: 8
- Social: NA
- Recreational: 10
Today, my life is fucking fantastic, and I’m literally the happiest man I know who is not going though something to make him temporarily euphoric (like being a newlywed).
My financial life is fantastic; not quite to a 10 yet, but almost, and I’ll get to that 10 in a few more years. I love my work and all of my businesses are growing. It’s exciting!
My woman life is literally perfect; it’s exactly the way I’ve always wanted it and always fantasized. That’s what this blog and the Blackdragon books are all about.
My recreational life is also a perfect 10, my frequent international travel and set-my-own-schedule Alpha 2.0 lifestyle ensures that.
Physically, I am light-years beyond the typical American man my age (45), and my blood work shows that I’m very healthy, though I still have some weight to lose, which is irritating.
Everyone in my family is happy and doing well, and my relationship with everyone is very good, so family is easily an 8.
As I said, my social and spiritual sides don’t really apply to me at the moment, which is perfectly cool with me.
My life is awesome. Your life should be awesome too. Ranking your SLA will help you get there by providing a specific direction of where you need to place your energies.
If what I just described sounds out of reach for you, just remember that I’m older than most of you, and I’ve had a decent amount of time to work on these things. Also remember that at least one of your SLA, if not two, will be very easy for you and won’t be a lot of effort. Many of you have physical lives that are already at 8, 9, or 10 since that’s what comes easy for you (man, I wish!). Just remember that we all have different strengths and weaknesses, and start out at different levels with these things.
As always, your goal should be to maximize and capitalize on your strengths, and minimize your weaknesses. Given a little time and work, you can do both.
Want over 35 hours of how-to podcasts on how to improve your woman life and financial life? Want to be able to coach with me twice a month? Want access to hours of technique-based video and audio? The SMIC Program is a monthly podcast and coaching program where you get access to massive amounts of exclusive, members-only Alpha 2.0 content as soon as you sign up, and you can cancel whenever you want. Click here for the details.
Leave your comment below, but be sure to follow the Five Simple Rules.
Biami Gainz
Posted at 05:46 am, 3rd July 2017Hey blackdragon amazing topic.. this is a bit off topic ive tried to search through your archives and my close cousins always say this .. ” we agree with you monogamy doesnt work with westoners/americans/europeans, but it does work in happy asian/chinese/indian marriages”
I know this is false but all over your website you say monogamy doesnt work anymore in western society which is 100% true but does how would it differ from it not working these days in a eastern society? thanks BD love u my man
captain
Posted at 07:32 am, 3rd July 2017I’m three years out of a relatively easy divorce and in my early/mid 40s. I would rank my life areas as follows…
Financial- 7 and improving
Woman- 8.5 (9.5 for a guy my age)
Physical- 9.5
Spiritual- 7
Family- 6.5
Social- 4
Recreational- 9.5
I have an overall awesome life but my social life is not where I would like it to be especially because I am more of an extrovert. I have good social skills and easily make friends. In fact when I travel, which I do a lot, I can usually make guy friends to hang out and shoot the shit with in a few days. I also have a close long term friend group in the East Coast city where I am from.
The problem is my current home is a small southern California coastal city. The vast majority of people are either much younger or married with children and/or very clicky. Most of the guys I meet are living very conventional lives which I find really boring. I really only know one other guy living an alpha 2.0 lifestyle and we hangout a couple of times a month but he travels a lot and is really more of an acquaintance than a friend. I meet some coolish younger guys but they seem to have very short attention spans and tend to be very transactional in their relationships (Southern California). My old wingmen have all settled into monogamous relationships in which their lives are defacto controlled by their girlfriends.
How do other guys have a social life while being Alpha 2.0? I know moving to a big city would help but overall my life is awesome where I live so don’t want to move.
Felix
Posted at 10:23 am, 3rd July 2017How does this concept relate to your 90% rule? i.e. if you rank your social life as a 10, is it actually a 9 in reality?
Caleb Jones
Posted at 11:21 am, 3rd July 2017Too off-topic and too big of an answer in a quick comment like this. The bottom line is that traditional marriage does “work” in places like India (1% divorce rate) but it doesn’t actually make people long-term happy over there. (Though happiness is not the goal in Asian cultures like that; conformity is; Asian cultures are highly collectivist.)
Other guys will have to answer that, but the easiest answer is to hang out with non-Alpha 2.0’s and just enjoy them as much as you can. Most of the people I spend time with are no where near Alpha 2.0. It’s fine (at least with me, but again, I don’t hold my social life as a priority).
Per the 90% rule, nothing can be perfect. I don’t view a 10 in your social life (or woman life or whatever) as literally perfect. My woman life and recreational life are both at 10, but that doesn’t mean they’re perfect, or perfect every day. If you closely examined either of them you could find some very small flaws. To me they’re still a 10, in that they’re exactly the way I want them, make me extremely happy, and I don’t need to improve them (though I still need to spend some energy to maintain them).
So 100% per the 90% rule equals perfect (which is impossible). A 10 in one area of your life does not equal perfect. You could say that a 10 in this context equals a 90% or 95% in regards to the 90% rule.
David
Posted at 11:22 am, 3rd July 2017To Captain,
Moving to a bigger city might be the answer to the social life. Im in San Diego, and theres so much going on for everybody. I have a ton of parties, dances, and events every weekend. Strangely, the alpha 2.0 thing is a bit tough for me here. Girls are more into one night stands than regulars in my opinion. I had more stable FBs in Ohio! So im a 1.0 for now. It gets old, but can be thrilling too. I might need to move when I get older.
If youre a 9 with women, its worth it to stay! Maybe you can use meetup.com for more male relationships.
September Skye
Posted at 03:21 pm, 3rd July 2017Why are woman, spiritual and family green, and the rest blue? They all ask for your greenbacks?
Caleb Jones
Posted at 04:31 pm, 3rd July 2017Because the graphic artist chose to make them green. 🙂
Tim Garrison
Posted at 05:44 pm, 3rd July 2017What’s the difference between Recreational & Social ? They seem the same to me. Is Social about how many friends you have ? Is Recreation about getting out & doing things like hiking , playing a sport , whatching a football game , reading a book , or playing computer games ?
Also , BD , why do you say not need Spiritual until 50 ? Or why need Spiritual at 50 ? I thought only need Spiritual when in extreme pain , looking for a way out. Can not be cured by conventional operatives. ” The last resort ” , lol!!!!
Actually there are four reasons people get Spiritual , as l understand it. None of them have anything to do with age , far as l can tell. The second reason is curiosity. Where did we come from ? Where does the universe end ? Why are we here ?
If someone is happy but wants to “keep the ball rolling” , is another reason , as l recall. I can’t remember the fourth reason , sorry .
Caleb Jones
Posted at 06:25 pm, 3rd July 2017They are not. Per my book:
Your Social Life
Your social life represents any time you spend with platonic friends (male or female) outside of your family or work. This would include things like:
– Going to the game with your buddies.
– Consoling your best friend after his divorce.
– Going to your high school reunion.
– Screaming at your platonic female friend (whom you have no desire to sleep with) about why she went back to the boyfriend who beat her.
Your Recreational Life
Your recreational life represents any time you spend doing something completely for fun, just for the sake of fun and/or relaxation, especially if no one else is directly involved. It would include things like:
– Watching TV on the couch after a hard day’s work.
– Going on vacation to the Bahamas.
– Painting, crafting, writing fiction, taking photos, or engaging in any other artistic endeavor.
– Reading a novel.
– Jerking off to porn.
– Wasting time on the internet reading enjoyable but irrelevant web sites.
Obviously there can be some overlap between your recreational life and your family and social lives. However, there is a boundary. Taking your family to the beach would likely involve much more family life time than recreational time, which is why your recreational life tends to be those fun or stress-reducing activities you do largely by yourself.
I believe you need a certain amount of wisdom, experience, and inner peace before truly getting the most out of your spiritual life, and I really don’t see how men under age 50 (me included) are anywhere near this state of being.
I never said we did.
That’s desperation, not spirituality. The drug addict or murder who finds Jesus is not being spiritual, at least not my opinion. He’s just being irrational and trying to survive. If it helps him, great, but that’s not what I define as spirituality.
That isn’t spirituality. I’ve asked those questions myself. That doesn’t mean I’m being spiritual.
joelsuf
Posted at 06:44 pm, 3rd July 2017About time BD did a new post. My SLA has changed drastically over time. But it’s also eerily similar to BD’s:
15 years ago, at 20:
Financial: 6. In college, pretty much had no debt…yet. Never really cared about possessions and stuff, but was still living with my dad so no independence yet.
Woman: 0. Literally nothing, I had been on exactly ONE date and that’s it. I knew how to talk to chicks but had no idea of how to get one out on a date. Because I was so brutally rejected in high school, I also felt like I didn’t “deserve” chick success.
Physical: 5. Wasn’t doing anything, but still had good energy levels. School was taking over my life back then.
Spiritual: NA
Family: 2. Still hated both parents
Social: 6. Had plenty of good times with my homies. There was some drama, but that’s your late teens-early 20s for ya.
Recreational: 8. Video games were still fun lol
10 years ago, at 25:
Financial: 9. Virtually zero debt, maybe like $8000 in student loans but that was it. I was jobless but had lots of money from my dad dying. I also bought my own car straight up and I still own it today. I was planning on going back to school because I took time off.
Woman: NA, I was taking time off chicks so I could do school stuff seriously. If I had to give it a rating it would be a 3. I knew how to get chicks out on a date, but was still nervous about making moves and was still lazy when it came to getting with chicks.
Physical: 2. Worst shape in my life because of five years straight of going out drinking with homies. I was still feeling the effects of my dad dying as well. My energy levels sucked so bad that I needed drugs to pass out and to stay awake. Not good.
Spiritual: NA
Family: 6. Dad was dead, I reconnected with my mom but was still kind of iffy with my stepdad.
Social: 4. Still had people to hang out with, but there was tons of drama. I was still feeling the effects of my dad dying.
Recreational: 5. Video games were getting boring, I ran into some pretty overwhelming challenges in bowling that made me mad sometimes.
Five years ago, at 30:
Financial: 5. No personal debt like a house or a car, but overwhelming student loans. But at least none of my possessions can be taken away from me I guess? I had a 9-5 which was mostly self supervised so my job wasn’t stressing me out much.
Woman: 5. Almost getting there, I can have conversations with chicks, invite them places and have sex with them, but I’m still lazy.
Physical: 5. Got back into the gym, did a bunch of cardio, lost a lot of weight. Still have stuff to work on. But my energy levels are way better and I don’t need drugs anymore.
Spiritual: NA, unless you count meditation as a spiritual thing. I count it as a physical thing.
Family: 5. Get along with them fine, but I still feel like I owe them something.
Social: 10. Friends from multiple places who can also improve my woman life via social circle.
Recreational: 8. I discovered video game speedrunning, so all my old video games are now just as exciting as they were when I first got them because the dynamic is way different. I also made some pretty great strides in bowling.
Now:
Financial: 5. I still have the student loans but that and a credit card are all the debt I have. And I now work from home. Time to pay this crap off. I’m SO glad I don’t owe on a car or a house lol. I’m broke but free if that’s a thing. Probably more beta than Alpha 2 but I don’t feel like I’m “too broke” for anything. Minimalism hype.
Woman: 8. I can get pretty much any chick I want if I put in the effort, although I have yet to get with a legit dimepiece. Its only a matter of time.
Physical: 6. Not perfect, but much better for a 35 year old than most of my peers.
Spiritual: NA
Family: 8. I’m living with my mom and stepdad until my mom retires for now and we’re spending good quality time together. Its like I’m living with really old buddies more than parents really.
Social: 10. Same as it was, got a flourishing social life that can get me laid if I do the right things.
Recreational: 9. I’m very excited about bowling and gaming. Both will eventually be profitable in some aspect.
Namo Tassa
Posted at 09:24 pm, 3rd July 2017BD, are you never willing to improve the SOCIAL aspect from your life?(considering you WILL on Spiritual aspect at some point in the future)
Caleb Jones
Posted at 09:41 pm, 3rd July 2017Not really. Most days it feels like I’m around people all day long. I have too many people in my life, not too few.
I might pursue some deeper friendships when I’m a very old man (well over age 60). Maybe. For now I’m very happy the way things are.
noob
Posted at 03:41 pm, 4th July 2017Would this SLA apply to females as well?
Aside from the ‘women’ category which the female version would be ‘sex/relationship(s)’ or something I’m guessing, all of them can still apply to any woman’s life as well right?
Or would they have different categories from male’s needs, like social validation or having kids.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 04:03 pm, 4th July 2017Yes. The SLA apply to women, just as stated.
The biggest challenge women have to life balance is children. As soon as a woman has kids, her family life (focused on her kids) completely dominates all of her other SLA for about 10-12 years at least (unless she’s a rare exception to the rule or outsources child-rearing to a full-time nanny). It’s emotionally impossible for most women to not be dominated by their kids for about a decade or so, even if it destroys their happiness.
As I talked about in my book, long-term consistent happiness is not the objective of women (even if they say it is), nor are they even capable of it.
Sachmo
Posted at 04:58 pm, 4th July 2017It’s funny, years before your book came out, I had organized my life slightly differently but with the following categories:
1) Career (maps roughly to financial)
2) Women / Relationships (maps to woman) – A note about this category, for me, over time this would evolve into the ‘family category’ of BD.
3) Health / Fitness (maps to physical)
4) Friends, Family, and Recreation – So here I’ve combined Social, Family and Recreation. I think for most people, recreation overlaps so heavily with social that it’s best to just combine the two into one category. Say you want to do a day at the beach – well most likely you are going with friends. A BBQ, same deal. Going to a concert, same deal.
Many psychologists have chimed in on this point – by most measurements of personal satisfaction AND well-being (which are two different things that both relate to overall happiness) — your social bonds with other people are very closely tied to your happiness.
So I’ve lumped this all into one. I also consider hanging out with my extended family in this category – i.e. my brother and his wife / kids, and sister w/ husband and kids.
I don’t actually think it’s a good thing to mentally separate ‘recreation’ from ‘other people’ – also, events and trip planning with friends and extended family overlap so much, I think it’s best to consider this as one thing.
5) Spirituality / Values
6) Logistics – this is a category that isn’t quite represented on BD’s chart. It stuff like having all your bills set to auto-pay. Having your car and home maintenance and cleaning on auto-pilot. Basically having systems that account for preventative maintenance for all the monotonous crap that you have to do as a responsible adult. You can have a great life in every other regards, but if you don’t have systems for dealing with the unpleasant things you have to do, you’ll constantly be stressed out. Happy to say this is one area of my life that’s a 10 : )
7) Community – BD staunchly ignores this category : ) — but I think something worth considering for those who are part of neighborhood or other sorts of communities.
I was on my condo board for some time, and was able to completely renovate the complex that I live in. Was well worth the time spent. I started a local business community group and have hosted many events. Getting to know other business owners also well worth it. Sometimes using the leverage of a community to accomplish something that’s a win-win for all can be very rewarding.
8) Risk** – This isn’t really a category for my life, but when I do long-term planning, I always consider this when I consider how I allocate my time.
I consider all sorts of risk in my life. I live in a hurricane prone area, so I consider things like the risk of a hurricane damaging property that I own. I consider a financial crash in the stock / bond / real estate market and how that would affect me personally in the next few years. I consider macro risks like if war with the US and China broke out. I consider micro risks, like if my business got entangled in a lawsuit of some kind.
I don’t try to forecast every little thing. I consider what I personally believe to be ‘realistic’ hazards to plan for, and I take whatever steps necessary to mitigate against these risks.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 05:27 pm, 4th July 2017That’s because each of the seven items has its own logistics, for example…
Both in your financial life.
No, that’s a subset within your social life.
Yep, all social life.
JudoJohn
Posted at 09:16 am, 5th July 2017Financial: 5 (and improving)
Woman: 2
Physical: 7 (9 for my age)
Spiritual: NA
Family: 8
Social: 4 (and improving)
Recreational: 9
I know what I need to do.
BD, I’m into hiking/climbing/backpacking. To what degree would you consider these “boyfriend behaviors?”
(I know many dudes in Denver do these things….whatever, I walk the walk, I don’t just talk. I hiked 8 miles off trail with 3800 vertical feet on Monday, and followed that yesterday with sport climbing at a local crag.)
Harry Flashman
Posted at 10:19 am, 5th July 2017BD, thank you for a really GREAT post. I did the exercise, perfect timing while feeling relaxed after a long holiday weekend. In doing it, I feel pretty darn good about my life. I went through many of the same stages as you and my numbers would have looked similar at different points in life. Now, I’m happy and have a very good life. There is one aspect that I need to focus on and one that is largely N/A for now, spiritual. But overall, life is good. In 5 years, following a plan and with hard work, I fully expect it to be great. ?
joelsuf
Posted at 10:51 am, 5th July 2017If you are packing her stuff, driving her to the site, and “helping” her on the hike or whatever then that would probably be a boyfriend behavior. Which is fine if you are having regular sex with the chick and you haven’t caught feelings, but stupid if you are still in the dating phase (unless you prefer it or something).
JudoJohn
Posted at 11:24 am, 5th July 2017This is a good way of seeing it. I definitely have standards of ability, as a matter of both safety and fun.
For instance, I went climbing with a buddy who brought a gal pal yesterday. She was a strong climber, had climbed indoors plenty, but never outside on real rock. She was pretty excited by the end, which is a good thing…..for him anyway. This is a perfect scenario with a new girl.
If I’m reading your comment right, I think I get your drift…..the attitude should be one of peers out doing something fun together….a vibe almost like with any other climbing buddy, at least until we get back to my place & shower up. The primary difference would be plenty of kino.
Harry Flashman
Posted at 12:09 pm, 5th July 2017BD, in assessing my life areas, I separate financial and professional. For me, how well I’m doing financially doesn’t always coincide with my job satisfaction, though I wish it did. So for me, I chose to asses those separately. Is there a reason you chose to combine them?
POB
Posted at 12:21 pm, 5th July 2017Financial: 5 (my main goal now, but I guess an 8 would suffice here)
Woman: 8 (my goal is to get to 10, after financial my focus is here)
Physical: 9 (not much room to improve, just doing maintenance)
Spiritual: NA (agree with the >50 yo mark)
Family: 10 (still no kids of my own)
Social: 6 (temporarily, because of other goals)
Recreational: 6 (temporarily, because of other goals)
Caleb Jones
Posted at 12:33 pm, 5th July 2017No. It’s cheap, non-romantic, and you would do that with a guy friend, so it’s fine. Don’t do it with FB’s, and never do it before you’ve had sex with a woman twice. As Joelsuf said, it’s fine for a relationship, it’s a terrible dating/seduction technique.
FYI – I don’t know if you live in Denver, but a big complaint with women in Denver for online dating is “OMG all these fucking guys talk about is going hiking and camping!!!” So I wouldn’t mention that on your online dating profile, since it will make you look like everyone else. (We have a similar problem here in the NW where I live.)
The same reason I don’t separate “social” from “community” like Sachmo does. You want the number of areas in your life to be as small as possible, that way you’re more likely to take the time to manage and optimize them.
I describe seven life areas. The last thing you want is 11 or 15 life areas. Seriously, keep this shit simple! Complexity always makes the mind say no.
My job satisfaction is easily within my financial life. Per my book, financial life is described as:
Your financial life represents all the time you spend earning, spending, managing, or saving money, or learning how to do so. Examples would be:
– When you balance your checkbook.
– When you work at your job or business.
– When you go to college or other continued education (since you are there to improve your ability to earn).
– When you pay your electric bill.
– When you purchase stocks or bonds.
– When you sit in traffic on the way to work.
– When you buy a new jacket or car.
The second item is your career.
Damon
Posted at 12:35 pm, 5th July 2017I read your book more than a year ago but it’s only now reading this article that I start to wonder if my financial life is perhaps ‘Not applicable’ to me.
I explain:
I am INTP. I used to work a 9 to 5 job in IT for 6 years. Bought an appartment in 2006 that is now paying itself by letting it to people renting it from me. It will be paid in 2020. That means I will have zero debt by then and this passive income which covers my monthly expenses.
I live in cheap countries where my women life is 10, because they are countries where the women are among the most attractive for me and I am attractive to them. I spend arround 900USD per month or less, including housing, taxes, flights visa, everything. My current total net worth is arround 340,000USD. My recreational life is 10. My familly life is N/A (it may become more when my parents become dependent, but that’s not even sure since they want to go in a retirement home). My social life is 6, which I am completely satisfied with (I am introvert). Spiritual life is a solid 8. Physical life is 6? Eating very heatlhy not doing any drugs apart from the once in a bleue moon cannabis or beer. But not enough weigh resistance training and my genes are skinny type, so I am skinny: 137lbs at 5’9″.
I am an only child, 35yo, childfree and desiring to remain childfree. My father 70yo managed to have a total net worth, including his house, arround 1,000,000USD or more. And his retirement is providing him with a net income close to 100,000USD per year. As part of a his tax reduction and transmission strategy he insists on giving me arround 12000USD per year, comsidered as non taxable ‘gifts’ in our jurisdiction. Which is already enough for my lifestyle. And remember that on top of that I will soon (in 2020) have the net income of the apartment I bought.
So I am actually not working currently since 2012 (just managing the rental and some financial investments, but that takes very few time). I had a strong drive studying hard sciences and graduated 5 years university (just before PhD) at 23yo, I have 2 degrees. Then I was good and praised in my job in IT (I was earning 67500USD per year before taxes in 2008), even if I found it super boring and hated the office. Then I took another 5th year of university in Mathematical and Theorethical Physics, black holes, big bang, quantum theory and general realtivity, learned a lot of really fascinating stuff and got my curiousity satisfied that year but didn’t feel like continuing to a PhD amd carreer.
But currently, I have maybe 5% or 10% drive to work or to have more money. Sometimes I am thinking I could use a bit of my time spent on my women and recreational life. Like work the time of a part time job on an online business project. But I don’t get really enthusiastic about any idea that come to my mind and I don’t *need* the money right now, and I don’t feel like I will need it later. The inheritance of my parents house is already sorted out and the taxes already paid, and there is probably going to remain something of the liquid worth of my father when they will both be passed away. So it seems like more money for my old life is not really needed either.
Blackdragon, would you say that my financial life is something like N/A or on autopilot? Or am I just making up far fetched rationalizations for being a lazy generarion Y/echo boomer, in serious need for a big kick in the butt to get his ass back to work ASAP?
Harry Flashman
Posted at 12:36 pm, 5th July 2017Makes sense. Thanks.
Harry Flashman
Posted at 12:37 pm, 5th July 2017Makes sense. Thanks for the explanation.
Damon
Posted at 12:57 pm, 5th July 2017Additional thought: worst case scenario, in my older age I think that in a place like Pattaya for instance, 500usd additional per months for prostitutes (2 short time good quality sessions a week and the once in a blue moon FFM 3some) and viagra, on top my current lifestyle budget would be enough.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 01:10 pm, 5th July 2017Damon – You’re describing a financial life that (to you) is a 10, not a financial life that doesn’t matter. Your financial life “doesn’t matter” to you because it’s already at a 10 to you. That’s fine, as long as you are very careful to maintain that 10 for the rest of your life.
Your financial life and woman life can NEVER a “NA”. But you can get these things to a 9 or a 10 to the point where they don’t “concern” you anymore (my woman life and recreational life are both like this, and my financial life will be like this in a few more years). Even then, it’s your job to maintain that 9 or 10, not to say that you’re “done” or it “doesn’t matter.” Having an area at a 10 now but a 5 later because you got lazy or complacent is stupid.
Finances and women/sex/dating/companionship always matter if you’re a man.
JudoJohn
Posted at 01:15 pm, 5th July 2017Thank, BD. It makes good sense….I’m guessing that hiking/climbing/backpacking would be a commonality with women I talk to, but I will absolutely heed the warning to save doing it for after they’re burned in…..which is four times, since I’ve never been in a non-monogamous relationship. I have your get started post stickied.
Point also taken.
For now, I’m an extrovert who works remotely, and I’ve grown to despise working from home. I’m on the right side of good looking, so I updated my work situation…namely, I have a miniature keyboard, miniature 10-key, a portable second screen, and have taken to working from coffee shops, libraries and on campus (I’m actually taking a class this fall). I’ve already had women position themselves directly in my line of sight in an obvious manner…..I know you prefer online game for VYW so I won’t ask about daygame. The fast sex model still holds regardless of the type of lead generator.
Your admonishion to play up my age to land much younger women rings utterly true, with the experiences I’ve had on campus while in a LTR…….so many hot girls, I was so stupid, preferring the drama of a crumbling marriage at the time. I was blown away at how many IOI’s I was getting last time I was on campus. Going in with an Alpha 2.0 mindset should be a lot of fun.
Thanks for the blog, man. It’s been really helpful. I’ve been living under 0 women is better than 1 woman for about a year now…..while still true, neither is acceptable any longer.
joelsuf
Posted at 06:18 pm, 7th July 2017Financial I can agree with. Even if you have a bunch of money saved up and you are taking time off your job, you can’t ignore that. One reason I dislike PUAism so much is because they encourage taking time off of life so you can “master” your chick life. Not cool. You can’t ever take time off financial stuff. Even if you are jobless you still gotta pay for stuff. Even if you have no debt or bills. Unless you actually like freeloading at someone’s place (which is unacceptable beyond 25 or so, BD would argue 18).
Chicks however, if you need to take time off chicks for awhile (which is different from MGTOW) so you handle the other SLA, I think that’s acceptable. I’d say chick life can be NA for anywhere from 1-3 months depending on sex drive. My sex drive is a little higher than average but not insane so I feel like I can take 2 or so months off chicks so I can improve an SLA that is lacking. Typically I take the winter (late December-February) off chicks so I can work my face off. I’m not too horny during winter anyways.
That’s just me though.
Oscar C.
Posted at 12:39 pm, 18th October 2017Is sex really a must? I simply loathe the whole seduction process, the games, innuendo, etc. It is a real catch-22 for me because while I resent sexlessness, on the other hand I don’t enjoy chasing women, even when I am moderately successful.
I think I have a low sex drive because I have never masturbated frequently, often forgetting the last time I did. In that sense, sex is a sort of ‘FOMO’, “Fear Of Missing Out”, rather than genuine desire. I resent not being able to read a novel or watch a movie without eyerolling at the sex scenes, but other than that there are many things I like to do in life. Any thoughts?