How Long Should You Wait For Sex?

-By Caleb Jones

Regular readers know that I advocate a very specific and proven dating system that involves one very fast, inexpensive 60 minute first date, followed up by a second date at your place where you have sex. Both dates combined should only take a grand total of 3-4 hours of face time (or much less) once you get the hang of it. I describe how to execute this system in detail in my primary dating manual as well as in my other books.
I also say that sometimes having sex on the second date simply isn’t an option for any one of various reasons. Maybe she’s nervous. Maybe she has higher ASD. Maybe you can’t arrange those logistics because of her scheduling limitations. Whatever.

Under my system, having sex on the third date will happen sometimes. The key word there is sometimes. If you’re having sex on date three all the time, that means you either A) are not doing this correctly and need to improve, B) you live in a more traditional part of the world (and should therefore move the fuck out of there ASAP, you idiot) or C) you’re exclusively dating women over the age of 33.

Again, I understand that sometimes this can’t be helped and I myself have sometimes had to (unfortunately) wait until date three to get all the way to sex. It’s not the norm for me, but it has happened.

This begs the question about what you’re supposed to do if you try to have sex on date three and it still doesn’t happen. What then? Should you go for date four? Should you drop her and move on?

If you’re a beta or a right-wing male provider hunter screening for a magical unicorn woman who doesn’t exist, then as always, feel free to ignore all of my dating advice and keep going on four, five, six, or more dinner dates like an eager little puppy hoping that Ms. Not Like The Rest™ will someday award your obedience with her magical pussy.

But if you’re an Alpha Male 2.0 (or aspire to be) and want to get to the sex as fast as possible with minimal hassle, time, and expense, here’s how you handle this.

“Continue to date number four or next her ass” is not the question you should be asking, since it’s an oversimplification. The decision on whether or not to see her again past date three with zero sex depends entirely on her sexual behavior during dates two and three.

I will only continue to see a woman past date three with no sex if there is clear sexual progression between dates. This means that on every date, she gets more sexual with me than she did on the last date. If that’s the case, I will continue to see her past date three. If that’s not the case, I will (nicely) drop her and move on to less uptight women.

Here are some examples to illustrate what I mean.

Example – Girl A

First date: Nothing sexual happens, not even kissing, per my advice. Just a strong, sexual, outcome independent frame sprinkled with some sex talk and kino if I can include that as well.

Second date: She comes over to my place, we make out like crazy on the couch, she lets me feel her boobs and things like that but doesn’t allow any clothing to come off. This is not ideal, but it’s acceptable under my system, so I continue to the third date.

Third date: She comes over to my place, make out, her shirt comes off, she gives me a BJ, but no sex.

Do I continue to a fourth date with her? Yes. She’s not moving as fast as I want, but she’s clearly progressing in a positive direction, so I will give her the benefit of the doubt and see her again (assuming she’s been pleasant about everything else). On date four, I will expect even more sexual things to occur than on date three, ideally full-on sex.

Example – Girl B

First date: Standard first date as described above.

Second date: Again as described above. She comes over to my place, we have some fun, but she doesn’t allow any clothing to come off.

Third date: Essentially a repeat of the second date. We make out and I feel her body, but she adamantly refuses to allow any clothing to come off, using all the usual ASD excuses.

Do I continue to a fourth date with her? No. Next! I forget about her and proceed to other, less sexually uptight women. I am clearly not a match for her and she needs to find a man more sexually compatible with her.

Example – Girl C

First date: Standard first date as described above.

Second date: She refuses to come over to my place, saying it’s “too soon” or “not appropriate.” No problem, I meet up with her at another bar and essentially have a repeat of the first date. Only this time, we make out a little bit, but I can’t get any further.

Third date: She reluctantly comes over to my place. We make out but that’s it. She won’t go any further than that.

Do I continue to a fourth date with her? No. Next! This woman’s ASD is way too high and she is clearly not looking for enjoyable sex. Either she’s a hardcore provider hunter looking for her next beta male boyfriend/husband, or she’s over the age of 33, or something strange is going on (she possibly has a boyfriend, or she’s getting over some kind of past trauma, etc). Regardless of the reason she is so reluctant to have sex with a man wearing a condom like a normal human, this is not the kind of woman I want to have in a long-term nonmonogamous relationship in my life, nor am I going to waste my time when there are so many women of equivalent or superior quality who have no problems having sex with me on date two. Next!

I will say again that likely this woman would not be happy with me either, so I’m helping her by moving on. Seriously, a woman who is on the hunt for a beta male boyfriend and wants absolutely nothing else will be hugely irritated with my lifestyle if we did have sex and I tried to get her into an FB or MLTR relationship. So by nicely nexting these women, you’re not being an asshole; you’re actually helping her by not wasting her time. And you don’t waste your time. It’s win/win.

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45 Comments
  • Anon
    Posted at 05:28 am, 14th June 2018

    A condom-wearing man is a responsible man. But “man wearing condom” is nightmare stuff ; )

  • Calahan
    Posted at 05:31 am, 14th June 2018

    So I assume you wouldn’t date a virgin, would you? I mean in a scenario where she told you she is a virgin on the first date, not before. Virgins are highly unlikely to sexually progress in a reasonable amount of dates. I had a 22 year old virgin come to my place on date 3 to watch a movie with me, we made out, but she didn’t let me take any clothes off. She seems very interested, as she messages me every day and the only reason I haven’t nexted her yet is that I have no other dating options currently. In this shitty country I live online dating is not very popular and moving out of my country seems too much a trouble for me. Next girl I dated online told me also she is a virgin and she aims to remain so until she graduates from university in 2 years, lol.

  • John
    Posted at 05:41 am, 14th June 2018

    Having sex is normal for people attracted to each other, if a woman does not want some ” relations” she is playing you for a fool

  • John
    Posted at 06:17 am, 14th June 2018

    I agree but due to the distance I have to drive on most dates, I always try to turn my date 1’s into date 2 and 3.  Have to break a rule or 2 of yours like kissing, hand holding, and other BF shit.   I go for a kiss withing the first half an hour and if they don’t respond well I pack up early and shoot for date 2 or 3 like you suggest.  I try to target women who are really into my style.  Expedites things.

  • John
    Posted at 06:24 am, 14th June 2018

    So I assume you wouldn’t date a virgin, would you? I mean in a scenario where she told you she is a virgin on the first date, not before. Virgins are highly unlikely to sexually progress in a reasonable amount of dates. I had a 22 year old virgin come to my place on date 3 to watch a movie with me, we made out, but she didn’t let me take any clothes off. She seems very interested, as she messages me every day and the only reason I haven’t nexted her yet is that I have no other dating options currently. In this shitty country I live online dating is not very popular and moving out of my country seems too much a trouble for me. Next girl I dated online told me also she is a virgin and she aims to remain so until she graduates from university in 2 years, lol.

    yeah no shit they are.  Have you tried married or separated women since you don’t have many single options?   You get a women who’s been in a sexless marriage for the last 10 years she’ll treat your dick like she discovered fire.  Just sayin

  • Silver
    Posted at 06:48 am, 14th June 2018

    This model has been working great for me…. No kiss first date, escalate on date number 2.  So far I am 2-0

     

    What is new territory for me is where to go from here.  Fighting off lifelong beta urges is a constant thing for me but I am aware of it and determined to not fall into old habits.

    Is there some guidance on proceeding from date 2 after sex? I have been good about next day contact (be nice) which is very important. But I am not sure where to go from there.

  • Anchor
    Posted at 07:44 am, 14th June 2018

    Example D: Older Women (40+)

    Date one: 60 minute meet up at a bar or something, as usual.

    Date two: Another 60+ meet up, drinks at a bar or something simple. Very rarely will an older woman want to come over on the second meet up. They want sex, of course, but they need a little more reassurance that you’re not a psycho. By 40+ they have experienced some weird male behavior and dating drama.

    Date three: Dinner/neflix at my place or hers, sex…

    Sometimes I need a 3rd meet up before I pitch dinner/netflix. But no woman gets a second meet up unless there is obvious chemistry. You should be able to tell by the end of the first hour.

    Conversely… I have also dated a few women under 33 and they are so much more eager to get right to sex on date two.

  • Caleb Jones
    Posted at 09:12 am, 14th June 2018

    So I assume you wouldn’t date a virgin, would you?

    If she had sexual progression like I described in the article, sure. Otherwise no.

    Virgins are highly unlikely to sexually progress in a reasonable amount of dates.

    Incorrect. Many years ago I got a virgin fully naked and did “only the tip” sex with her on date 3 with no problem at all.

    I had a 22 year old virgin come to my place…

    One girl is not a statistic.

    Next girl I dated online told me also she is a virgin and she aims to remain so until she graduates from university in 2 years, lol.

    https://alphamale20.com/2015/05/04/ignore-what-women-say-only-watch-what-they-do/

    Is there some guidance on proceeding from date 2 after sex?

    Yes. http://www.haveopenrelationships.com

    Very rarely will an older woman want to come over on the second meet up.

    Correct. Many will get offended by even being asked this.

    Conversely… I have also dated a few women under 33 and they are so much more eager to get right to sex on date two.

    Yup. That’s why I draw a line at age 33 and rarely cross it unless I’m attempting something unusual.

  • Harry Flashman
    Posted at 09:27 am, 14th June 2018

    Oh how I wish I had this information when I first got divorced! I dated a girl who was a classic, over 33, Girl C. I went on EIGHT dates with this girl and never got beyond making out, no clothes removed. I was naive and inexperienced then and wasted countless hours and a kick-myself amount of money on this chick. Sadly, she’s a hot (though looks are fading), nice girl in an old social circle of mine, and though approaching 40, no serious boyfriend.  I assume for the same reason.  She guards the pussy like a bank vault but fails to understand that soon, far less men will be trying to get in. BD, as women like this approach and hit 40, do you see any loosen up as they realize their SMV is fast declining?

  • Caleb Jones
    Posted at 09:33 am, 14th June 2018

    Oh how I wish I had this information when I first got divorced!

    Me too!

    I went on EIGHT dates with this girl and never got beyond making out, no clothes removed.

    Holy shit. Brutal. I never went that far, but I went on four dates with many women (mostly over-33s of course) with nothing or near-nothing before I smacked myself in the face and realized I was doing something very wrong.

    BD, as women like this approach and hit 40, do you see any loosen up as they realize their SMV is fast declining?

    No. As Anchor indicated above, the opposite occurs. They dig in their heels and their standards and ASD go up as they approach 40, not down. This maintains throughout most of their 40s, particularly if they haven’t gotten fat yet. Read this.

    I know it doesn’t make any sense, but we’re talking about women here.

    There is a slight drop in ASD when a woman hits 50 though. (Not 40. 50.)

  • A
    Posted at 09:46 am, 14th June 2018

    Blackdragon,

    Where does a man age 45 or so even meet these under-33 women in sufficient volume?  Online sites like Match.com don’t work too well, as such a man is usually outside the published age range of the minority of women who are under 33 on that site.

     

     

  • Calahan
    Posted at 09:48 am, 14th June 2018

    https://alphamale20.com/2015/05/04/ignore-what-women-say-only-watch-what-they-do/

    There is no chance I would risk spending any more time on her to see if she meant such a blatant claim or not. Instantly nexted her ass.

  • Kurt
    Posted at 11:14 am, 14th June 2018

    I have been dating (through OKC/Bumble/Tinder) quite a few over-40 women over the last year and in my area at least they seem to pleasantly fall into two categories: the more typical over-40 high ASD types you describe as typical for the age group, and a smaller but certainly not insignificant percentage who are definitely wanting and pushing for sex on date two.

    I’m starting to get confident enough in the numbers of these women that I never do date 3s anymore with older women, feeling that it’s too low a probability of them being women that I want to spend my time with and that will accept my lifestyle that it’s just not worth the time to even find out.

    Plus, the ones eager for sex on date two are usually hotter as well. A few have ghosted me after sex but most have been at least short-term FBs, and very good, drama-free people.

  • Tom
    Posted at 11:28 am, 14th June 2018

    blackdragon, i need your short advice on this.
    this chick 22 year old, claimed she’s still a virgin ( i tried to pull on 2nd meeting during evening but she declined, maybe i fucked up my vibe)

    then following 2 dates, she invited me for movie (great sign)
    she let me ”somehow” physically escalate inside the cinema but just wouldn’t go back with me.

    did i fuck up my frame?

    i’d guess my logistics sucked…

  • Caleb Jones
    Posted at 12:28 pm, 14th June 2018

    Where does a man age 45 or so even meet these under-33 women in sufficient volume?

    Go on as many dating sites and apps as humanly possible that apply to your region, and make sure your photos are amazing. Not good. Amazing. (Or just do sugar daddy game.) I have an article going up on Monday that addresses some of this. And you should get this book.

    Online sites like Match.com don’t work too well

    Correct, do not use Match.com if you’re an older man seeking younger women; that particular site won’t work.

    blackdragon, i need your short advice on this.

    https://alphamale20.com/2016/09/15/theres-one-girl/

  • Silver
    Posted at 03:16 pm, 14th June 2018

    Yes. http://www.haveopenrelationships.com

     

    🙂  ok I figure I have lurked and gotten enough great info that its time to throw down, so … bought!

     

    Good so far, a lot of familiar things but some really good new stuff too.  Date #3 is tomorrow so i am sort of cramming.

  • prepped
    Posted at 09:25 pm, 14th June 2018

    BD, you’ve set  standard on dates/sex metric, the way Leykis set my high-water max spend mark years ago ($40). Of course, you’ve got me recalibrated to $14/2-dates to close.

    Coffee’s for closers only.

    Spot on about the old gals. They’ll waste a man’s time and money with their delusions of wrinkled grandeur. I know because I’m over 50 and have plenty of interest” from these old gals, but rarely close the deal with them by 14/2. And they are really put off,  as you say “offended,” at the mere suggestion of going to your place or theirs as a 2nd date.

    Ain’t nobody got time for that!

    Great article. Keep ’em coming.

  • A
    Posted at 09:53 pm, 14th June 2018

    Blackdragon,

     

    Correct, do not use Match.com if you’re an older man seeking younger women; that particular site won’t work.

    Which sites work?  Does your book indicate this?  It is unclear which book contains the right information for a man with these obstacles.

    and make sure your photos are amazing. Not good. Amazing. 

    How does one begin?  Most ‘professional’ photographers do a terrible job.  Plus, if the photos look too much better than real life, that obviously won’t fool the girl.  She will be pissed at first sight.

  • Caleb Jones
    Posted at 10:06 pm, 14th June 2018

    Which sites work?  Does your book indicate this?

    Yes.

    It is unclear which book contains the right information for a man with these obstacles.

    The Ultimate Younger Woman Manual tells you which sites to use, which ones to not use, and how to calibrate your online approaches for younger women when you’re an older guy. It also includes real-life older man game like dates, etc.

    The Ultimate Online Dating Manual tells you everything about online dating (photos, profiles, openers, communication, closing, etc) but doesn’t include that much age-specific information.

    How does one begin?  Most ‘professional’ photographers do a terrible job.

    The Ultimate Online Dating Manual, Chapter Five, tells you everything you need to do.

  • Roberto
    Posted at 12:49 am, 15th June 2018

    I’d probably deal with BD’s three examples (“A”, “B”, “C”) in pretty much the same way. But BD, what do you, and you other guys, advise when it’s obvious that she’s DTF on the first meeting? When that happens, I go for it. Leaving aside a couple of chicks where I haven’t pursued it after this first meeting, I’d say I have ongoing sex with about half of these women, which is a lower average than with women where we don’t fuck till the second or third meeting. Not sure if that’s a coincidence or not. I presume though that a woman who’s keen to fuck on a first date would be likely to meet for a second time, esp if the second date were scheduled soon after the first one.

     

    Any thoughts?

  • Anon
    Posted at 05:05 am, 15th June 2018

    But BD, what do you, and you other guys, advise when it’s obvious that she’s DTF on the first meeting?

    He has said several times he goes for it if sparks start flying, but that’s a rare occurrence he doesn’t plan on. I only had something like that once, where she expressed interest in going to my place within 30 minutes of meeting me. That was a complicated story though, sex ensued but not on that date.

    I’d say I have ongoing sex with about half of these women, which is a lower average than with women where we don’t fuck till the second or third meeting.

    It’s possible this was a factor: https://alphamale20.com/2018/05/10/when-women-one-night-stand-you/

  • Roberto
    Posted at 06:08 am, 15th June 2018

    Thanks, Anon.

    … but that’s a rare occurrence …

    Yes, I ought to have made it clearer that it’s not common, at least in my experience.

  • John
    Posted at 06:31 am, 15th June 2018

    I don’t get you guys on the over 40.  Last 5 I have had sex by date 2 or 3.   Last one sex on date 1.

    Have to be ultra aggressive with the PDA from the moment you see them to knock their walls down or you have no chance.  You have to bring the chemistry, manufacture it and make them wet on the first date or forget it, you’ll be slow played like all the other pussies who bored the shit out of them.

  • hollywood
    Posted at 07:10 am, 15th June 2018

    Just last weekend, I went back to this woman’s place on the first date.  I met her through social circle so our date included a mutual friend and wasn’t technically a date at all, my female friend (no I do not want her at all) just brought this woman along where we were meeting at because she knew we would be compatible.

    Anyway, I pushed for sex but couldn’t even get her clothes off.  She gave me a bj that night and the next morning before I left again, and seemed to strongly indicate the next time we meet up, she will likely have sex.  But she held strong to refuse sex so far.  She is 36.

    Unfortunately we cannot go out again because of my logistics until exactly two weeks since the last time we went out.  I plan on us going back to her place and having sex.  This article was timed perfectly, however I am not sure if I should do a 3rd meet if I don’t get sex next weekend.  I mean to me, the next progression beyond oral is sex.  Perhaps she actually lets the boobs out or something, would you then proceed to a 3rd meet even if I don’t get sex on this second one?

  • No more Mr. nice guy
    Posted at 09:11 am, 15th June 2018

    I don’t get you guys on the over 40.  Last 5 I have had sex by date 2 or 3.   Last one sex on date 1.

     

    I don’t either.  The last 5 women I dated were all late 40s and up, and were ready for sex by date 2 or 3.

    However, I did have trouble with the standard 2 date BD approach, until I modified the 2nd date.

    Now, instead of inviting them directly to my place, I invite them on a hike or walk in my neighbourhood nature parks, and then invite them back to my place.

    This adds an hour or two to the process, but has dramatically improved my results. Always some sexual activity on the second date, and always PIV sex by the third.

    Like I said above…5 for 5 so far.

  • Caleb Jones
    Posted at 10:06 am, 15th June 2018

    I’d probably deal with BD’s three examples (“A”, “B”, “C”) in pretty much the same way. But BD, what do you, and you other guys, advise when it’s obvious that she’s DTF on the first meeting?

    What Anon said.

  • Caleb Jones
    Posted at 10:11 am, 15th June 2018

    I don’t get you guys on the over 40.  Last 5 I have had sex by date 2 or 3.

    I’m not sure if you two are referring to me or to other commenters, but if you’re referring to me, sex with an over-33 on date 3 is perfectly normal and I’ve done it many times as well (including Pink Firefly). And yes, as always, there will be exceptions to the rule, so there will be some over-33s who will fuck you on date 2 or 1, but these will be a much smaller percentage of women in this age group, and I know if you track your own numbers over a several year period of having sex with women, you will see this to be the case. (Social circle game excluded; I’m only talking about cold game here; online, night, or day.)

    I have never said it’s hard to fuck an over-33 by date 3. It’s not (assuming you don’t mind waiting 3 dates for sex all the time; I mind). I said that if you have lots of women who refuse to fuck you by date 3 then one of the biggest possibilities is that they’re over-33s. Those are two different statements.

  • middleagepua
    Posted at 01:20 pm, 15th June 2018

    Im commenting about a post “things to do on a date”. I knew the article was too old to get comment feedback.
    This list is probably one of the best I’ve seen. Other coaches try to teach  too much inner game stuff in my opinion. BD gives simple things to think about and do on a date. During my first 25 dates with much younger women. I effed up so much (, I’m a salt daddy),. Mostly because of nerves. These girls were much hotter than I was used too. I think much of what is considered game is pushing through the painful and awkward part in the beginning. At first it was like my brain was electrified, I just couldn’t believe my luck, I couldn’t read body language, I couldn’t make changes to my plans on the fly, I couldn’t remember my witty comebacks when I needed them. Most of my problems were because of nerves.

    Also,BD is right about 1 in 5 VYW really get turned on by older guys (you need to be in good shape, I think). I laid 32 girls in 14 months. all but 2 were 18-25, from about 50 dates. Paid none of them before sex (gave a few “cab fare”). I almost hope most guys my age dont figure out this game hack, don’t want the competition (Im 47). I still pinch myself every day:). Thanks BD

  • JudoJohn
    Posted at 02:28 pm, 15th June 2018

    you need to be in good shape, I think

    I almost hope most guys my age dont figure out this game hack, don’t want the competition

    I don’t know how tightly you were binding these, or if the hack was the mere knowledge of Type 2’s.

    I’m in great shape. For guys our age, it’s more than just a hack. Let me put it this way: I recently took up riding horses, since Dad’s into it, is going strong but not getting younger, and my long term plan is to whore myself out to the country club set after I can no longer pull VYW anyway. He’s friends (unfortunately not FB’s, I think) with the woman who runs the basic class at the college, and has her own arena (horse ladies are rich cat ladies). After about 12 hours in the arena, I went on my first trail ride yesterday, and she was blown away at my progress. She says I ride fearlessly, like children do.

    The reason is because I work out like a fiend. Stronglifts 5X5, three 2.5 mile weekly runs, 5-6 hours weekly grappling. I’m in much better shape than many men half my age. So yeah, when I try new things, I can progress quickly because I’m coming from a place of strength.

    It’s not a hack, it’s an honest indicator of fitness. To be in shape in your early 20’s is inevitable, at least it was when we were in our 20’s. To be in shape in your 40’s is a superpower in these obese days. I’m not just getting IOI’s, I’m getting straight up molested. And loving it.

    Speaking of indicators, BD, I don’t know if you follow Sam Harris’ podcast, but his most recent was with Geoffrey Miller, of “The Mating Mind” fame (straight up PUA books were less interesting than the underlying evolutionary psychology, imo). They talk a fair bit about polyamory….it’s interesting, but the Alpha 2.0 lifestyle is so much better. “Everybody has to be honest about everything!”  Yuk. However, his talk of signalling theory was really interesting.

    According to him., not only we all virtue signal all the time, but many consumer choices are explained by signalling theory….which is why I drive a 2 seater hatchback rather than a minivan with a MLFHNTR custom plate.

     

  • Silver
    Posted at 02:51 pm, 15th June 2018

    I don’t get you guys on the over 40.  Last 5 I have had sex by date 2 or 3.   Last one sex on date 1.

    Same here  – very good results.  Sometimes depending on her reaction on date 1 its good to start with a place not far away then transition into my place since its “Not far from here”.  I came up with a fun little thing on the fly the other night:

     

    SEcond date – 45 year old. We were at my place looking at my bookcase which has a few games.  I grabbed some dice and  asked if she was a gambling girl.  She got a playful look and said “Sometimes”.  So I went “I’m going to roll these, if they come up even I am going to kiss you”.  She smiled and said sure.

     

    Rolled a 7.  😛

     

    “Double or nuthin?”  (having no real idea what that even means since I literally just thought of this seconds ago).  She  nodded.   Rolled even and it was game on.

    Later on she told me she would have let me keep rolling until it came up even.  I knew that,  could tell by her body language but it was a fun little way to get things rolling. (pun intended)

     

  • middleagepua
    Posted at 03:13 pm, 15th June 2018

    Judojohn,

    Thanks for the reply, I used the term game hack as a metaphor. Using the SD websites is an extremely efficient way to get a lot of dates from VYW. I would say about 20% of VYW on these sites don’t really want an SD, its just exciting to them to date a good looking dominant older guy. Once I figured out how to hard filter for these girls, my results went through the roof. If you haven’t tried it, I will respectfully suggest you try. one more thing, logistics is crucial, I live in a building with two cool bars on the bottom floor ( don’t tell them I live in the building before the date). I meet them for a drink, build comfort, and casually mention I live in the building. After a couple drinks I suggest we walk upstairs to see my view (great view of city lights at night). 65% first date close rate.

     

  • Gang
    Posted at 04:50 pm, 15th June 2018

    How long wait before sex with a fetish or kink considered virtually mandatory (for me: she recieves anal intercourse) before nexting a woman (meaning in this context, at least removing her from my rotation, I might keep her in my roaster)? Also a bit like in the phylosophy of the LNSTE, after a long period of putting a girl out of my rotation, and thus not fucking wer, keeping any message interaction to a very bare minimum, almost to nothing if possible, shall I suddenly agree to meet her and have sex and see if there is progress on the kink or fetish.

     

    Unless rare exceptions, I don’t want to keep in my rotation hordes of women who sysnematicaly refuse anal sex and make no progress on that, refusing to try anything in that department. How long before I should give up, shall I stop at date 4 also if a woman still refused anal, or wait up until date 5, 6 or more as long as we have vaginal sex before end of date 4 ?

  • B
    Posted at 01:33 am, 16th June 2018

    Good lord dude, you sure do love butt stuff! I’ve gotten every single girl I’ve ever dated to not only do anal, but enjoy it. My secret? Don’t pressure them! Date like usual, make them cum every time, etc, then mention how much you love anal, and you’d love to do that with her but only if she’s ok with it. Never push. Maaaybe stick a finger or two in her ass when you’re going down on her (once you build comfort), and make her cum like that to get her interested and convince her that it can be enjoyable. The trick here is low pressure. You’re converting women into butt sluts, it takes a little time, be patient. Unless of course you don’t even enjoy vaginal sex, in which case I don’t know what to tell ya…

  • B
    Posted at 01:39 am, 16th June 2018

    Also, this post is gold. Thanks BD! I’ve run into this a bunch and had to make my own system which is very close to yours, but I really like the idea of progression being the deciding factor for whether or not you continue to the next date.

    However, in my earlier days when just starting this, I had a few occasions when I’d have sex with a girl on date 2, then date 3 she would refuse sex. Why the hell does this happen?! I suspect it was because I fucked up and didn’t limit buyers remorse the next day, and let too much time pass between first and second lay. I’ve been way better about this and haven’t had it happen since.

  • Caleb Jones
    Posted at 09:35 am, 16th June 2018

    I had a few occasions when I’d have sex with a girl on date 2, then date 3 she would refuse sex. Why the hell does this happen?! I suspect it was because I fucked up and didn’t limit buyers remorse the next day, and let too much time pass between first and second lay.

    I’ve never had this problem per se. The closest I’ve come to it is when I had sex on date 2, then on date 3 she wanted to go out to dinner and do the standard 1950s first date, just on date 3 post-sex instead of on date 1.

    You’re more or less correct; this kind of thing happens when you’ve spiked buyer’s remorse but her attraction for you is so high that that she (barely) overcomes her ASD to see you again. It’s pretty rare and not something you should worry about, other than to do the process correctly to begin with.

  • GoodSense3
    Posted at 02:02 pm, 16th June 2018

    Blackdragon please do a YouTube interview with Oshay Duke Jackson on youtube. He interviewed and gave out dating coach of year award too Roger Alan Currie last month. He makes money off youtube interviews and maybe you should compete for that award lol. Here’s a link of him doing a panel interview of 3 coaches including dating coach of the yr Roger Alan Currie at bottom. If you and Roger Alan Currie went head2head on a interview it might be like Durant vs LeBron lol. Take his dating coach mvp award BD lol . https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W4AKcn-0w0o

  • Marty
    Posted at 09:09 am, 17th June 2018

    So I assume you wouldn’t date a virgin, would you? I mean in a scenario where she told you she is a virgin on the first date, not before. Virgins are highly unlikely to sexually progress in a reasonable amount of dates. 

    This is all in your head. Lots of virgins are keen to get it over and done with (if they meet the right guy) and will fuck on the 1st or 2nd date with ease. You just have to be the right guy. As in not be freaked out by the fact shes a virgin.

    My current GF was 19 and a virgin when I met her. Cold approach in a bar. I got her home and fucked her the same night. A mate of mine who is a hard core night gamer (and quite good at it) and loves Asian girls. Lots of young Asian girls here in Australia who get here and are virgins. He’s fucked so many 18, 19, 20, 21 yo virgins on the first night he’s met them its not funny.

  • Caleb Jones
    Posted at 09:37 am, 17th June 2018

    Lots of virgins are keen to get it over and done with

    You know what? This is actually true, and this something new I’ve learned only in the last few years.

    As just one example, I personally know an 18 year-old girl who was a virgin whose best friend lost her virginity. She started feeling “left out” because they couldn’t talk about sex in the same context. So she hopped on Tinder, found the first reasonably cute guy she could, drove to his house, fucked him, left, got off Tinder, deleted his number, and never saw him again. Then she was “happy” so she could now more confidently talk to her friends about sex. Hilarious.

    I’ve seen several scenarios similar to this.

    Yeah, virgins are virgins, but people keep forgetting A) how low ASD VYW have, and B) that it’s not the 1950s anymore.

  • marty
    Posted at 10:01 am, 17th June 2018

    I’ve seen several scenarios similar to this.

    I’ll give you another one. That guy I mentioned who has fucked a lot of virgins. He had a new FB who was a 20 yo Asian girl. Her best friend was an 18 yo Asian who was a virgin. Both Korean and in Australia studying. The 18 yo met a young Aussie guy at a bar and went home with him, told him she was a virgin, was keen as to lose it and because hes an idiot of course he was all freaked out about it and couldn’t preform with her and she didn’t get to lose it.

    So anyhow my mates FB is telling him the story and of course because he’s not an idiot he offers to help out…being the nice guy that he is and all….and of course his fuck buddy thinks hes the most amazing nice guy and agrees and they bring her friend over and do a threesome and he takes the 18 yo’s virginity and everyone is happy…especially him. He’s 34 by the way! 🙂

  • Anon
    Posted at 10:44 am, 17th June 2018

    She started feeling “left out”

    I, too, heard a story like that. The girl was a teenager (I don’t remember but I think she was 15–16 or thereabouts), she gave her classmate money to buy a condom and come fuck her. In a funny twist, the one telling me the story remained a virgin till she met me aged almost 30.

    Another one, aged 17, was determined to stay a virgin till marriage due to religion. Apparently the anal loophole is quite a real thing, and she was happily getting fucked in the butt by her boyfriend. Said guy was studying abroad, and they agreed to have an open relationship. She went out with some guy, by her own admission a questionable person, they had some drinks in a park and she ended up losing her virginity on the spot, no condom of course. But in the end she was more mad at her BF than he was at her, because he turned out to have been fucking someone else at the time : ) She was my FB for a couple of months, then she said something about a clean slate and was gone. I guess she left the boyfriend for another one and promised him monogamy. Let her try that for 4 months, and then we’ll see : )

  • Roberto
    Posted at 06:19 pm, 17th June 2018

    … Her best friend was an 18 yo Asian who was a virgin. Both Korean and in Australia studying …

    It’s quite common for young women who are virgins to be keen to lose it when they’re abroad for a reasonably extended time, whether studying or travelling.

    But in the end she was more mad at her BF than he was at her, because he turned out to have been fucking someone else at the time : )

    Isn’t that part of an open relationship?

  • Mike Hunter
    Posted at 05:52 pm, 18th June 2018

    What’s your protocol for initially putting women on your roster now that you’re in an OLTR?  After a coffee date with them do you still bring them back to your house?  Are you initially honest with them that you’re married? Swinger and BDSM chicks are sometimes cool with having your significant other present.  So is pink firefly sometimes there?

  • Caleb Jones
    Posted at 06:28 pm, 18th June 2018

    What’s your protocol for initially putting women on your roster now that you’re in an OLTR?  After a coffee date with them do you still bring them back to your house?

    No. I have an office for that. Read my last OLTR update.

    Are you initially honest with them that you’re married?

    So far, yes, on the first meet, but I make sure they’re all really young (under age 24). Women that young (usually) don’t care.

    So is pink firefly sometimes there?

    Yes, but not the first time. I have to get to know them pretty well before I introduce them to PF.

  • CrocodileMan
    Posted at 11:05 am, 16th July 2018

    Ok, so my question is when I get one of these high ASD chics that “says” (not does) she “usually” makes guys wait until exclusive or a long time for sex but IS progressing sexually so far on date # 3, do I just go ahead and tell her after date # 4 that I don’t date women that don’t have sex after date # 4 and be upfront with her?  Give her the option to make a choice to keep seeing me or not.  Versus just nexting her and her not knowing why?

    This does not happen very much with me and I usually have sex on date 2 or 3.

    Like this:  “ok sweetie (rubbing her hair) so I know you said that you don’t wanna have sex too soon and I totally understand your concerns.  However, I have limited time for dating and I need and want sex often as you know.  It just doesn’t seem like you are as attracted to me as I am you and just like you have rules, I usually give it 4 dates to determine if a woman is really into me or not.  And if she is not, move on so it don’t become a friend zone deal or waste your or my time.  I really enjoyed our time together however and would love to see you again if you change your mind on your rules or requirements OK!” 

    Now I am being upfront and honest with her, which is kinda part of your overall philosophy in a sense.

    Yalls thoughts?

  • Steve
    Posted at 01:59 pm, 1st August 2018

    Blackdragon,

    You forgot to advise on one thing in this article:

    What do you do when you stop contacting her and cut her off like you mention in this article, then a few days/weeks/months later she trys to contact you and see you again because she misses you/the attention or realizes that she messed up and wants to try again?

    Please advise.

    Thanks

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