A Dragon in Paris

As always, let’s cover the women first. It’s probably no surprise to hear me say that French women are clearly the best-looking women in Western Europe. However, A) that’s not saying much; B) remember that I’m excluding both Scandinavia and Eastern Europe when I say “Western Europe”; C) they aren’t much better-looking than other countries, just somewhat so. All that being said, yes, there are definitely hot women here, which is very unlike London and Berlin. None of the hot women in Paris (that I’ve seen anyway) are super-hot and most women aren’t hot or cute, just like any other city. However, this could be my American Societal programming kicking in without me realizing it. French people tend to have noses that look odd to American eyes and that extends to the cute and hot women here. Perhaps if you’re a non-American you may find them more attractive than I do. 

French women also have the best bodies in Western Europe and here they excel far beyond their British and German counterparts. Women in France are much more likely to have bigger boobs and bigger, rounder asses than any other Western European nation by far. It’s a very nice change after having spent so much time in London and Berlin lately. 

Don’t get me wrong; women’s curviness here is nothing like South America, not even close. It’s more on par with the USA where at least you can find curvy women as compared to Germany (where there are virtually none because they’re too skinny) or London (where they tend to be overweight and/or have a massive mix of body types).  The People  Sadly, I have found that many of the negative stereotypes of French people tend to be true. I’ll cover a few of them I’ve experienced both on this trip and prior trips I’ve taken to France. 

First off is the body odor. Holy shit. Yes, the stereotype that French people don’t shower as often is true, or at least must be, since many times I’ve been smacked in the face with really horrible guy body odor. I don’t mean the kind where you say “Hm, that guy needs cologne.” Oh no, I’m talking about being bowled over with the worst BO you’ve ever smelt in your life.   I’ve noticed this shitty BO always comes from men, never from women. I guess it’s just part of the culture here. The men here also tend to be shorter on average than men in Germany (who are tall), men in England (who come in all shapes and sizes) and men in Italy (who are short and broad, but not quite this short). 

Xenophobia. I have found the stereotype that French people are intolerant of foreigners (including other Europeans) at least partially true. On one of my trips here I took my Mom. She received many dirty looks from French people when it was clear she couldn’t speak the language. Uber drivers here are very quiet when they realize you’re an American, which is the opposite of Uber drivers in London and Berlin who are very talkative and friendly almost across the board. 

Smoking. More people smoke cigarettes on the streets of Paris than any other city I’ve ever visited in my entire life outside of China. It really is something. You’d better get used to cigarette smoke if you spend any extended time in Paris. Normally I don’t care but this time it was troublesome since Pink Firefly, who was with me on this trip, is allergic to cigarette smoke (it actually makes her sick; it causes some interesting scenarios when we go to Vegas), so it was hard for her.  

Having come from cigarette-hating America she had never experienced this kind of thing before, people smoking cigarettes out in the open on the streets en mass.  So, I had to explain to her that left-wing France doesn’t have the hyper-negative stigma attached to cigarettes that the left-wing does in the USA.   Side note: I’ve never smoked and I hate cigarettes with a passion, but I’m a libertarian so I’m against cigarettes being illegal. (See? I can separate my personal opinions from what I would impose on society. It's called rationality.) I would prefer that everything was legal (all drugs, alcohol, etc) and that the free market determine no-smoking zones for non-smokers like me. But I digress. 

Surprisingly, Parisians are much more “spacey” than most other big city-dwellers. I discussed this when I talked about New Zealand. People in Paris, despite living in one of the largest and busiest cities on the planet often walk around like they’re in dream state, suddenly stopping without checking behind them, or slowly turning around while in the middle of dense crowd, or just standing there staring off into space instead of moving aside. Numerous times I almost crashed into French people acting like they were alone out in an open field rather than in a crowded, fast moving city. Very weird.

People like this always make me miss Asia. Those city dwellers are fast and focused and don’t fuck around. Much better in my view.  French people are much more socially aggressive, which I sort of like. This would be a contrast to people like the Canadians who are more socially passive. French people have no problem whatsoever walking right up to you at the airport and (politely) telling you to move your ass two seats over so they can sit closer to the USB port so they can charge their phone. A random woman on the plane pretty much handed me her huge bag and expected me to put it under the seat in front of me because she was sitting in an exit row. A guy standing behind Pink Firefly in a line told her that she needed to close her purse and that it was dangerous for her to have it open. And so on. Most people in most countries don’t have these kinds of social balls, but the French certainly do. 

That purse thing leads into the issue of crime in Paris. The petty crime rate here is pretty bad. Once we were settled PF left her purse in the hotel room when we went out because of the pickpockets here, something she didn’t have to really worry too much about in other countries. Western collapse hits all countries differently, and in Paris, one of its symptoms is the massively growing crime rate.