22 Feb Why Being A Beta Male Is More Work
Reading time – 8 minutes
A lot of men believe that being a beta male, while it does indeed suck, is at least a lot less work than the effort required to make the conversion to Alpha Male (1.0 or 2.0).
As a beta male, they say, yeah, you won’t get laid very much, you’ll never be long-term happy, you’ll never be free, you’ll never (or rarely) experience amazingly good things, and you’ll be jerking off to porn a lot and wishing your life was better… but hey, at least you won’t have to go out on a bunch of stressful first dates, or have to diet to look better, or spend all this time every week managing all of your women, or stressing out while you start a new business, or work longer hours while that business gets off the ground in addition to your job.
I mean, being a beta male sucks, but at least it’s less work. You can relax a lot more and just, you know, live in the now (or something) and just be yourself (or something) and smoke weed whenever you want and just take shit easy.
I mean, shit Caleb, not every guy wants to build an empire and make a bazillion dollars a year or bang 100 Instagram models or travel to 75 countries or whatever. Some guys just want to just relax and live their life, you know?
I’m about to explain why all of this is factually incorrect; why being an Alpha Male 2.0 is far less work than being a beta male if you look at the entirety of your life.
Why Some Men Think This Way
There are two reasons why some men think being an Alpha is more work than just remaining a beta.
The first reason is that lots of normal guys look at Alpha Male 1.0s in pop culture, are shocked at how hard they work and all the stuff they do, and believe these men are the only version of Alpha Male available.
These guys look at Alpha 1.0 celebrities like Mark Wahlberg and The Rock and think, “What?!? I don’t want to get up at 3:30 am every morning and then go blow my brains out lifting weights for two hours! Fuck that!”
They look at internet Alpha 1.0 characters like Andrew Tate and Dan Bilzerian and think, “I don’t wanna be a douchebag like that guy! I don’t want to smoke a bunch of cigars and scream into a camera every day! I don’t want everyone to hate me and bash me all the time! And shit, sure as hell don’t want to go to jail!!!”
They look at business Alpha 1.0s like Grant Cardone and Gary Vee and think, “Work 14 hours a day every day? That’s so stupid!!! Why the hell would I do that? No amount of money is worth that!”
With all of these extremist examples they see all over their Instagram, they throw their arms in the air in surrender and remain beta males. Whenever someone like me comes along and tells them they should Alpha-up to be happier, all the above examples pour back into their brains and they just mentally shut down any possibility of doing anything like that.
The problem is that all of these examples are not Alpha 2.0. They’re Alpha 1.0, a lifestyle model I don’t recommend. They’re also extreme Alpha 1.0, so these guys are going overboard on a lifestyle I don’t recommend.
Alpha Male 2.0, as many of you are already aware, doesn’t require you to get up early in the morning, work 14 hours a day, lift weights two hours a day, be a public figure on the internet, or bang hundreds of women. (If you really want to do any of these things, that’s fine, but the Alpha 2.0 lifestyle requires none of them.)
I’ve said many times that Alpha Male 1.0 is more work than being a 2.0, especially the outcome dependence and emotional ups and downs involved. Alpha Male 1.0 is not the model that I’m talking about, so none of those examples are relevant.
The second reason men think this way is the bigger one. These guys look at all the work involved in converting oneself from beta male to Alpha Male 2.0 instead of the work involved throughout the rest of your life once the conversion is done.
Here’s what I mean. Let’s say you’re starting as the typical beta male, meaning you have a soul-crushing location-dependent 9-5 job and you’re either single and rarely (if ever) getting laid, or you’re monogamous and also rarely getting laid because it’s way past the honeymoon period in your relationship when your girlfriend or wife was excited to fuck you. Drama and related bullshit is also a regular thing in your life.
This means that to convert to Alpha 2.0, you’ll have to do things like:
- Work on your confidence.
- Work on your outcome independence.
- Start and build your location-independent Alpha 2.0 business on the side so you can quit your job.
- Learn some dating skills and go out into the world and practice them so you can get at least two cute women on rotation.
Is this going to be a decent amount of work? Yes. I’ve been pretty clear about the reality that converting to Alpha 2.0 will indeed take a decent amount of work on your part. However, I’ve also said that a lot of this work is pretty fun, which means it often doesn’t count as “work.” Many aspects of starting your own business can be very exciting, and having sex with that new cute 26-year-old you met on Bumble (or Seeking Arrangement if you’re older) who is exactly your type I don’t think would be something you’d put in the “work” category.
Regardless, all this conversion work is temporary.
Once you’ve got your location-independent Alpha 2.0 business making $85,000 per year or more, you don’t have a job anymore, you can work wherever and whenever you want, and you’ve got two women (or more) who are both cute/hot and whom you’re having sex with regularly, how much work does it take to maintain this lifestyle?
Some, but not much.
But Caleb, you work like 11-hour days or something!
I certainly do, but remember that I am an exception to the Alpha 2.0 rule in that I work long hours and have sex with more than two women regularly because I choose to, but I don’t have to. I could cut back my work week to about 1.5 days a week and be just fine. I could also cut back my women to just two and also be just fine.
Here’s the next question you should ask yourself. How much work are you expending as a beta male in your life right now? How much work, including mental work, does it take to:
- Work 40+ hours/week at a job (or gigs) you hate?
- Think about sex and porn all the time because you’re not getting laid enough or in ways you want?
- Constantly have a shitty self-esteem about how people (men and women both) don’t like you or don’t consider you valuable or attractive?
- Put up with all the drama and arguments you have constantly?
- Working 40 hours a week (or more) at a job that will NEVER reduce its work hours and NEVER pay you significantly more than you’re currently making?
- Dealing with women who dump you and bosses/companies that fire you?
As a beta male, your workload looks something like this:
It’s not a 9 or a 10 all the time, but it’s a decent amount of work, including mental work, that lasts for the rest of your life and never lets up.
Now let’s assume you put in the work to become Alpha Male 2.0. You focus on your inner confidence and outcome independence. You get out there and start dating, practicing, using the models that work. You start your Alpha 2.0 business on the side, spending the time and effort to do that, again using models that work.
Let’s say it takes you three entire years to get all of this stuff done (which it probably won’t). Now you’re free from a job, free from monogamy and a woman running your life, and you’re happier, more confident, and location-independent. You lock in two or three long-term cute women and just chill out making about $90,000 a year location-independent (or so) working less than 30 hours a week (sometimes much less). You’re now that way for the rest of your life.
So your workload would look something like this:
It’s a bunch of work loaded up at the front, which I agree does suck (but again remember that not all of it is work and some of it is fun). But once you nail down the Alpha 2.0 baselines, you can, if you wish, chill for the rest of your life as a free man.
Which one is less work for the rest of your life if you add it all up?
Alpha Male 2.0. It’s not even close.
Being a beta is more work.
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Question of The Week: The Asian Work Ethic
J.A. Writes:
My live-in OLTR is from Thailand, and she’s got a totally different take on work and money, which I think might be because of cultural differences. She’s all about those long workdays that go for 10 or 11 hours without ever asking for any overtime pay. On my end, I’m doing my thing with teaching some lessons here and there during the week, and leaving lots of free time to work on my mission.
I’ve explained to her that I’m working smarter and not harder and how much money I’ve made from doing that. She doesn’t care. If she doesn’t see me working 11 hours a day doing difficult labor she thinks that’s bad.
She knows I’m not just lounging around when I’m not making money; I’m actually working on my business. I’m not lazy, I’m debt-free, and I’ve got a decent chunk of money saved up. It feels like she’d rather see me grinding away for someone else 8-11 hours a day like she does, instead of having a chill 8-hour work week that pays the bills and lets me focus on the business I’m passionate about. She’s Asian and they have an amazing work ethic, I get it. But how can I make her see my point of view?
Haha, oh yes.
The wonderful thing about Asian Societal Programming is their work ethic. I dated a Filipina for many years and she would work 12-hour days without ever taking a break managing a restaurant. The Collapsing West could use some of that ethic.
However, one of the downsides of Asian Societal Programming is that this work ethic is often devoid of basic logic. On a semi-regular basis, she would pass out from exhaustion and/or dehydration on the job. Twice they had to call an ambulance because of her. And much of these work hours were past her shift so she wasn’t even getting paid for them. And then, like the good little Asian she was, she’d send a huge percentage of her earnings back to her family in the Philippines, much of which went to support one of her cousins who sat on his ass all day to watch TV and literally never worked.
The point is, you’re NOT going to change your MLTR’s mind about any of this, any more than you’re going to convince a hardcore Christian that God or Jesus doesn’t/didn’t exist or convince a hardcore woke Zoomer that capitalism is better for the common man than communism. In most cases, it’s how these people have been programmed by their societies and environments since they were very little, and that’s the way she’s always going to be even if it doesn’t make any logical sense.
Instead, your frame with her must be, “I love you, I appreciate how you live your life and I think it’s great, but this is how I live MY life which is a little different, and I’m NEVER going to change on this. If that’s a serious problem for you, then you should go date someone else.” Now the ball is in her court. She can accept you and stay, or leave. And frankly, both are acceptable options (if you’re terrified she’ll leave you then you have oneitis and now we have a whole new set of problems, all of which are your fault).
To be clear, she has only two choices: A) shut up, stay with you, and accept your differences, or B) leave. She does not have the option C that some women choose, which is to stay with you but complain about your differences all the time. If she does that, it’s time for next and you need to move on.
Vive la difference!
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