Reading Time – 8 minutes

It’s that time again, to profile yet another male celebrity who gets slaughtered by monogamy, often despite his best efforts and intentions, and to use his story as yet another example of what NOT to do when the siren song of monogamy comes a’ knockin’ (usually in the form of the girl you’re dating/living with who is Not Like The Rest™ stamping her foot and commanding or begging you to do something).

If you give a shit, here are the links to sources I’ve used in this article: source1, source2, source3, source4, source5.

I’ll give you the end of the story first. Kevin Costner got divorced from a long-term marriage back in his 30s and it scarred him for life. He reluctantly got traditionally monogamously married again in his 50s (stupid) to a woman almost 20 years younger than him. Like most younger women do, she begged him to have kids since she didn’t have any.

He already had four kids from other women. He was afraid to have kids with his new younger wife because he feared she might divorce him in the future. So he refused.

She proceeded to do the thing women are so good at; she pressured him into something she really wanted that he didn’t want, in this case, having more kids. Like most monogamous men, he eventually agreed to the little wifey’s demands, and they had three kids.

And then she divorced him just as he had feared.

Because that’s exactly what women are wired to do.

But it gets much worse than that.

This is not the first time Kevin Costner got burned by monogamy, and the second time was much worse.

He got married young, just a few years out of college. He and his wife at the time had three kids. Then in the 80s, he became famous and wealthy. Per the usual man playbook, he of course started to cheat on his wife when he became a hot item.

His final affair was with a Hawaiian hula dancer (Jesus, you can’t make this shit up) while he was filming Waterworld. (The hula dancer was also married by the way. Ah, monogamy.)

His wife found out (of course) and quickly divorced his ass (of course). He had to pay her $144 million in inflation-adjusted dollars.

Nice. He could have avoided this (or much of it) with at least a prenuptial agreement, and all of it if he had an OLTR Marriage like I do. But no, the price of a little pussy on the side was $144 million instead.

This divorce scarred him for life. For years he was terrified about getting married again and never wanted to have more kids (though he had one by accident with one of his girlfriends at this time).

He dated and would occasionally live with someone, but never got married, not wanting to go through the horror of divorce again.

Finally, he did what a lot of older men do. He couldn’t put up with the pressure from his girlfriend Christine Baumgartner, and married her in 2004 when he was 50 and she was 30.

Of course, she had no kids of her own because more conservative Alpha Male 1.0 types often think single mothers are ew icky. The problem with younger women who don’t have kids is that they’ll always want kids from YOU. If you’re an older guy who’s already been married and had kids, this is the last fucking thing you want. But older guys rarely think this through. (There’s a reason I purposely married a woman who didn’t want to have any children.)

As I said above, she pressured him for years for kids, and for years he said no, fearing a divorce. She promised, as most women do, “Oh no, of course not, we’ll never get divorced, Honey! I love you!” and squeezed her tits together a little as she said it while batting her eyelashes.

As usual, it worked. Kevin broke down and he and Christine had three kids while he was in his mid-sixties.

As soon as the oldest two kids became teenagers, Christine filed for divorce. Her stated reason? He was working too hard.

Yeah. This woman was shocked, SHOCKED that the wealthy, famous, ambitious, hard-driving powerful Alpha Male she married usually worked really hard. 

As is statistically usually the case, Kevin didn’t want her to go. He was quoted as saying the divorce was his “worst nightmare” and was “desperately trying to save his marriage.”

Christine responded to this love by secretly taking one of his credit cards and charging $95,000 to it without his consent to pay for her divorce attorneys and forensic accountants to spy on his finances.

Instead of instantly booting her ass out the fucking door like I would have done, he let her get away with it but reduced the spending limit on the card to “only” $30,000 a month. She, of course, exploded in anger at what a horrible husband he was being.

Thankfully, this time Kevin actually had a prenup. (I’m actually surprised.) After much conflict and chaos, he finally had enough and ordered her out of the house. She had 30 days to vacate because that’s what was stated in the prenup. (Good idea, that. Gotta remember that one.)

She refused to move out, even though she was the one who initiated the divorce. She was staying to “force him” to “comply with various financial demands” by staying.

He offered to pay her $30,000 a month for child support plus another $10,000 for her moving costs. She said fuck you.

She went to court and demanded $248,000 a month in child support PLUS the kids’ private school education costs PLUS health care expenses PLUS extracurricular activities and sports expenses.

She stated in a court filing, “all of this is less than the amount needed to maintain the children in their accustomed lifestyle.”

Yeah.

I’m sure glad he had kids with this woman.

Now I know what you’re thinking: “Wow. What a fucking bitch!” Now I want you to turn to your girlfriend, live-in girlfriend, or wife (if you have any one of those) and realize that if you put her in a similar scenario (live with her, legally marry her, promise forever monogamy, make a high income, support her with that income, then have kids with her) she will do the equivalent. I mean it. The odds are overwhelming that she would eventually do the same thing or close to it.

Anyway,  Christine couldn’t demand any spousal support because of the prenup. However, as I’ve said many times, prenups do not prevent you from paying child support or any other expenses your baby momma demands for her kids. This is a method women and their clever divorce attorneys use to weasel their way around prenups; they don’t ask for any spousal support but instead ask for bazillions of dollars spent “for the children.” It usually works.

After months of turmoil, war, court, and making divorce attorneys rich, the court ordered Kevin Costner to pay “only” $63,000 per month in child support plus “related expenses.”

I’m sure that will make him feel a lot about this devastating divorce. His second one.

So what can we learn from Kevin Costner? You must understand the following realities:

• I don’t care how much you love your monogamous girlfriend, live-in girlfriend, or wife. If you’re even a tiny bit Alpha, you will eventually cheat on her, at least in some way, if the relationship or marriage lasts long enough. It’s how you’re designed. And because you’re a man, you’re going to get caught, eventually. Therefore, don’t promise 100% monogamy to any woman, ever. That’s just asking for trouble.
  
  
• As I talk about in great detail in The Unchained Man and my past blog articles, women are biologically wired to leave men eventually, when they become bored (if the man is a beta male) or irritated (if the man is an Alpha Male 1.0). Never, ever, ever plan on a woman sticking around forever no matter what she promises.
  
  
• Women are absolute wizards at convincing men to do what they want. 100,000 years of evolution have resulted in women, who could not control men physically, to instead control men emotionally. I don’t care how tough or Alpha you think you are, when you’re with a woman who is super hot and who is Not Like The Rest™ and blows your mind sexually she’s going to use every trick in the book to pressure you into getting you to do what she wants. And statistically speaking, she’ll win.

• Divorce and breakups in the monogamous world are bad enough, but when you also have children with the woman it multiplies her anger and insanity by 10X. She’s going to pull the most evil and insane shit you’ve ever seen… stuff you never thought your Sweet Little Angel™ would ever do. And the Western legal system will be on her side.

• In the Collapsing Western World, there is no document you can sign that will get you out of paying for child support if your baby momma demands it. Prenups, co-habitation agreements, none of that stuff will work. These things might protect you against paying alimony, spousal support, and/or communal property under certain conditions (maybe), but NOT child support. You will pay whatever the judge forces you at gunpoint to pay or you will go to prison. Think very, very carefully before impregnating any Western woman. If any Western woman demands you should have kids with her when you don’t want to, next her ass immediately. And if you “can’t,” then you’re pussy with oneitis and you’re fucked.

• Always stay rational. Stay on Mission. Be outcome-independent. Don’t be a pussy. Don’t get oneitis. Learn how to tell women no, especially women you really like or love. I tell my wife no all the time. Shit, I just did it yesterday. And if she gives you drama when you say no, soft next her, downgrade her, or dump her. Again, even if you love her.

She doesn’t run your life. You do. Or should.

To have your question featured here where I will write an entire article addressing it, click here. You will always remain anonymous.

Question of The Week

Condoms, Condoms, Condoms

D.C. writes:

Hi Caleb! I have several questions about condoms:

1. Are female condoms as effective in preventing STDs as normal condoms?

2. You once said you stopped using Japanese condoms because they broke. Is this still the case?

3. When you have threesomes what is the risk that you give an STD from one girl to the other using the same condom? Should we change the condom every time we switch a girl?

4. What kinds of condoms are you using right now and would you recommend them to others?

1. Yes, female condoms are as effective as normal ones. I happen to think they might even be more effective (by a little) since often with female condoms you get more protective coverage on the outside of the vag than with normal condoms (which give you zero).

2. Yes, that is correct, I stopped using Japanese condoms because they broke on me twice in a row. That was well over 10 years ago and I have not used any of them since. The only reason I was using them was because they were thinner than American condoms, at least at the time. This is no longer true though; American/Western condoms have indeed improved since then; more on that in a minute.

3. I’ve never had a threesome where I had to wear a condom on both women and the vast majority of threesomes I’ve had I didn’t wear a condom on either. Normally in threesomes at least one of the two girls you know well enough to not have to do that. But sure, if you’re doing a threesome with two women who are relatively new to you, you should wear condoms for both.

The statistical probability of giving an STD from one girl to the other via a shared condom is microscopically low. In terms of whether or not to switch condoms every time you switch girls, I would base that on the girls. Is one or both of them a total unknown? Is one or both of them promiscuous and/or irresponsible and/or stupid? Then sure, switch condoms. Otherwise, I wouldn’t worry about it.

4. I used to use Trojan Ecstasy condoms because they are more baggy and roomy at the tip and tighter at the base, unlike most condoms. However, a few months ago I decided to try some new ones just to check them out. I bought three different types of Durex condoms which historically I hated, but that was a long time ago and I was guessing that maybe they had changed. I was shocked to find that these condoms (one called Thin, the other called Invisible, and I forget the name of the third kind) were extremely thin and were very good, so I’ve started using them instead of the Trojan Ecstasy.

I don’t “recommend” any one type of condom over the other since I’ve found that men are very different and like different things. Do what I did: buy 3-5 different brands/makes of condoms and try them all. I’m sure you’ll find one you like.