07 Dec Unchained Man – Alpha Male 2.0 Book Comments / Questions Thread
A few of you have asked to have a place where you could make comments and/or ask questions about the Unchained Man book.
I have some stuff planned for a little later but you guys shouldn’t have to wait, so here it is. Feel free to place a comment on this post regarding any comment or question you have regarding the book and I will participate.
-By Caleb Jones
Please keep the comments on-topic to the book and subjects discussed in the book, which would be things like:
Happiness
Societal Programming, Obsolete Biological Wiring, and the Six Societal Values
The Seven Life Areas
Your Code and your Mission
Goals
Time Management
Alpha Male 2.0 dating and relationships (both serious and casual)
Running an Alpha Male 2.0 business
Financial management
Raising kids under an Alpha Male 2.0 framework
Travel
Anything above or anything else in the book is open for discussion. As usual, the 5 Simple Rules for making comments at this this blog still apply.
Comment away!
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Leave your comment below, but be sure to follow the Five Simple Rules.
Charles
Posted at 05:42 am, 7th December 2014Hi, I haven’t bought your book yet and I am wondering how many pages deal with topics of:
– time management
– financial management
– running a business
j
Posted at 05:43 am, 7th December 2014Unchained? You forget that you are chained to your testosterone needles. Don’t leave home without it. Hope you never lose your luggage when traveling abroad.
Daniel
Posted at 06:00 am, 7th December 2014Hey Caleb, so far I’m really enjoying the book. I was wondering about the difference between goals and projects in time management. A lot of time my goal is “finish XYZ project” so is that the difference? The goal is the end point and the project is the process you use to get there? I’m going to start using the check method for time management now, it looks great!
MrJ
Posted at 07:52 am, 7th December 2014Caleb, I am working on defining my SLAs, and I have hard time deciding where the household chores like washing dishes, doing laundry, cleaning my place etc fit in.
I believe it is either Physical Life (because not doing these things will damage my well-being and physical health) or even Financial Life because I listen to educational audiobooks and podcasts while doing it.
What is your take on this?
MrJ
Posted at 08:11 am, 7th December 2014Daniel, my understanding is that Projects and Goals are similar in a way that both are Outcomes.
The difference is 1) Goal is higher level outcome 2)reaching the Goal can require finishing several Projects.
An example would be Goal “I have 3 FBs” which would include Projects like ‘Improving my physical appearance’ (sub-projects ‘Get my teeth fixed and whitened’, ‘Update my wardrobe’, ‘Join the gym’ etc), ‘Set up profiles on Tinder and X and Y dating sites’ (with sub-projects ‘Get professional pictures’, ‘Research, brainstorm and write profile copy’ etc) and so on.
James
Posted at 08:45 am, 7th December 2014I’m curious to know more about your take on caffeine – I drink coffee in the morning, I do intermediate fasting so coffee in the morning is great for that.
I don’t feel addicted to it at all though (granted, I don’t have an addictive personality). You can for sure have mild withdraw symptoms but nothing, IMO to suggest its as addictive as you seem to think it is.
Also, I feel like you caught up in the weed myth – weed has different effects on different people, it does not “make” anyone lazy. But like anything can be abused.
I only bring it up because you are so ridiculously right about so many things, but I felt like you were off base with those two.
I’m interested in how you came to your conclusions because you’re a smart guy.
New Hombre
Posted at 09:15 am, 7th December 2014I have read the book. Absolutely great content and I agree with the majority of it. Incredible value – especially for the price.
I wish I had picked up this knowledge when I was younger, before getting taking on responsibilities that keep me from being more free. I am trying to move in the Alpha 2.0 direction, but it is slow moving due to those responsibilities.
On the business side, I recognize the office environment for what it is (voluntary paid slavery) and desire a business that gives me more freedom. My obstacle right now is what do I do? On BD’s advice, I created an eLance account and checked out technical work, but the rates that people in other countries are willing to work for is far less than what you could make at a very low end job in the states. I think adding some ideas and examples of the types of work/businesses lend themselves well to establishing an Alpha 2 lifestyle would be a great addition to the book. I think my dream job may be to run a strip club.
Some of the concepts in the book I agree with intellectually, but still have strong emotional reactions in the opposite direction – obsolete biological wiring (OBW) and societal programming (SP) still in there. An exmple is jealousy. Mentally I get it, but the thought of a woman I am having sex with being with another guy really bothers me. Hell, it bothers me that I may not stack up to guys in her past, much less some guy she is currently having sex with.
The section on men as static and women as dynamic was great. I think that explained so well how men and women think and operate. It also clearly articulates why you should never expect a woman to honor any commitment longterm.
This book is an absolute GOLD MINE for younger men. It has the potential to help them avoid so many things that will enslave them. Better to avoid the trap in the first place than to try to escape it.
New Hombre
Posted at 09:19 am, 7th December 2014I know you were light on the fitness section on purpose, but I think a little more info on TRT once you get further into it would be great.
James
Posted at 09:40 am, 7th December 2014When will we be able to purchase the hard cover book and will we still receive the bonus material?
Caleb Jones
Posted at 09:47 am, 7th December 2014About a third of the book.
I’m in Vegas right now and brought 2 needles with me. No problem. If I lost my luggage, I wouldn’t take shots for a few days and would get back on track when I got back. It’s the same thing as taking vitamins; you travel with them if needed. Now please stay on-topic to the book and stop being a troll. Thanks.
A goal is something to be achieved, a project is something to be completed. “I make $100,000 a year would be a goal.” “Finish XYZ web page” is a project. A goal could be something you complete as well, but it would require multiple projects. What MrJ said is also accurate; goals are often bigger and take more time to complete than a single project.
Physical life, though your point about iPod listening during those tasks is a great one. Make it your financial life!
Caffeine is a performance-enhancing drug. Since there are minimal side effects, I have no huge objection to it. I still don’t drink coffee.
That’s not what I’ve seen. Anyway, as I said in the book, I have no objection to weed and think it should be legal across the board. But if there was a drug that had a 50% or even 10% chance of making me less motivated in life if I took it regularly, I would avoid it. I play the odds.
Alejandro
Posted at 09:48 am, 7th December 2014I wanted to ask about caffeine too. Even if it is addictive, worse thing it happens is taht you feel kind of tired if you are unable to drink coffee, but seriously, how likely is that to happen?
If you get a lot of energy, concentration from it, seems like the benefits outweight the possible drawbacks in this case.
excraplor
Posted at 09:58 am, 7th December 2014Unchained Man was an excellent book that often times had me put it down to reflect upon my life before several times before I was able to finish it.
The SLA and Mission orientation chapters were excellent. I have read them three times trying to get a hold on what I really want to make myself happy.
Your thoughts and ideas of financial management are astounding. I understand your thoughts on zero debt are fairly set in stone except for property, but what are your thoughts about using credit cards responsibly to rack up airline miles to aid in traveling or just building good credit in general.
Anyway Caleb, thanks for the good work, when I get my act together I will take a gander at your other products due to how satisfied I was on this whim purchase.
Diggy
Posted at 10:35 am, 7th December 2014No question, just wanted to say thanks… I bought your book 100% as a thank you for the blog. Im gonna read it on a long flight this week. It looks long and good! Again, thank you for you work.
Jay
Posted at 10:52 am, 7th December 2014thanks for the book. I like that never ever surrender your masculinity. Great book for 9 dollars. Wondering We follow these rules as we are not good looking people or even extremely good looking has to follow these rules too?
Alejandro
Posted at 11:07 am, 7th December 2014What do you think about getting into FOREX, selling stock, and doing stuff like that as some kind of side business, or even to become and expert on it? I have a friend who claims he makes several dollars a month form trading without spending lots of time per week on it. Is it too risky?
Asuming you are smarter than average and could consistently beat the market and make money if you take the time to learn about it.
Parade
Posted at 12:22 pm, 7th December 2014Lots of people think they’re smarter than the market. Only a few actually are, and chances are, spending a couple minutes per week, you aren’t one of them. If you still want to test yourself, I’d say start with fake money against the real market (pretend like you bought x shares of stock y at price z and track performance), if you’re up after a year, maybe take a small amount of money and try it for real.
Jack Outside the Box
Posted at 12:45 pm, 7th December 2014Okay BD, I read the book and I’ll give you my little review here (for what it’s worth), followed by my questions:
The Bad:
1. The last chapter was the only one I strongly disagreed with and couldn’t relate to at all. There is nothing alpha (or beta, for that matter) about traveling or not traveling. It is just a completely neutral personal preference.
Take myself as an example. I don’t give a flying fuck about traveling. I’ve been to Sweden, London, Rome, Canada, Brazil, and a few other places. And when I have the time, I do want to explore my home country (the US) much more, but honestly, if I never traveled outside America again, I wouldn’t be sad. I’m not against it (and I may very well travel abroad in the future), but I just don’t give a rat’s ass about it. I would feel the same way if I were a fully alpha 2.0 billionaire with women coming out of my eyeballs!
Traveling internationally is also a major hassle which I try to avoid unless I’m doing it for a professional reason, or am really in a vacation mood.
But to suggest that the man who lives in New York City and never crossed the street is a beta is ridiculous! He may well be a beta, but not because he never crossed the street. So what? Maybe he’s not interested in ever leaving his area. Maybe he does online dating and brings the women to him. Maybe he’s very outcome independent (with a location independent Internet business) and cares nothing for the world.
Traveling, or the desire to travel, has zero to do with the alpha 2.0 lifestyle, unless it appeals to your personality, in which case, you should do it because an alpha embraces his true self. But I truly feel as if you are projecting your own subjective desires onto the rest of us, which is rather unwarranted. I’m not any less alpha if I refuse to travel. Being an alpha is about being in full control of my life and I’m not in any less control if I choose to never go anywhere.
Also, I could google all of those skyscrapers and impressive buildings. No plane ticket necessary. And I say that from a position of full strength and control over my life.
2. Dating women from other cultures: I disagree with this as well. I’m a culturalist (not to be confused with a racist). I have nothing against other men dating women from other cultures. There is nothing wrong with it for the alpha who desires it. But I prefer assimilated American (or at least western) women only.
I couldn’t care less if they are white, black, yellow, brown, red, green, orange, or purple, but being an assimilated American/westerner is one of my requirements for all the women I ever plan to date or fuck (barring some extremely casual exceptions within the English speaking world). Being an ambassador for my culture to a culturally foreign woman is just too draining for me. If we don’t have that cultural connection (regardless of her genetic race or color, which is irrelevant), I’m usually not interested (barring some rare exceptions, perhaps).
Again, this doesn’t make me alpha or beta. Being an alpha or beta depends on whether or not you have full control over your life. Preferring women from my own culture, language, customs, and vibe/energy doesn’t make a beta.
Besides, I prefer individualistic red pill women, as distinguished from women still mental slaves to their cultural heritage. I think American/western culture is the most individualistic (could be a paradox), whereas most non-American/non-western societies tend to be rather communitarian and blue pill (you yourself mentioned Asian culture and their ridiculous desire to please their parents). Not for me (I’m POS), unless I meet a woman from a non-western society that is actually red pill.
The Good:
Pretty much everything else in the book.
I especially loved the first two sections about developing a code of standards, finding your mission, setting goals, working on projects, and managing your time. That was pure gold. This should be taught in all schools. Absolutely fantastic!
The sexual/woman part of the book was really good, but for someone who has been within the seduction community for a while, reads your blog regularly, and has bought your previous books, it was, in large part, a repetition. Still worth it though.
The financial/business part was extremely insightful and motivational. Absolutely worth reading, internalizing, and living.
The part about being an alpha 2.0 father was a masterpiece. My own father was a beta with everyone else and an alpha 1.0 with me. Like you said, his try hard and angry attempts to make me respect him only ended up ensuring that I felt disrespect and contempt for his overcompensating weakness. Being an outcome independent father is the key to getting your kids to respect you and honor you. When I become a parent, I’ll follow your model to the letter.
I think you have made the lives of future children much happier and less abusive. For this, you should be commended.
Thank you for the book!
And now, my questions:
1. In the book, you say that the businessman who charges low prices, and could get away with charging more, is a fool (or something to that affect). So my first question is: Why did you charge only $9 for this goldmine? And what motivation do I have to give you even more of my money for the more expensive hardcover version? What is your business strategy here? Why work so hard on this massive 400+ page book and then sell it for only 9 bucks?
2. You mentioned in the book that having children out of wedlock is “destructive” and then you preach against “wedlock.” Why is having children out of wedlock destructive? Personally, I feel that having children within wedlock is destructive. Your thoughts?
3. You say in the book that you only drink water and nothing else (barring the occasional sip of wine). I’ve also heard you say you drink lemonade, but not limeade. What do you have against orange juice, apple juice, and other very healthy drinks?
4. You say you can never be happy as an alpha 1.0 who constantly follows people around in order to control them. At the same time, however, you say that you don’t begrudge the elites of their power and control, saying that if you were one of them, you’d want to maintain your power and control over the masses too. You would? But…..didn’t you say that such power and control is a threat to your happiness?
5. You say people who are evil, deceitful, and enjoy hurting others are not happy. Does this mean the elites aren’t happy in your opinion? Also, what are your thoughts on sociopaths?
Thank you again for the book. It was worth every penny! I’ll ask more questions if I think of them.
mrhoopfan
Posted at 01:33 pm, 7th December 2014Good book…I bought it as a payback for all the free blog content. Thank you.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 04:02 pm, 7th December 2014I had about three pages filled with such examples. Go back and re-read chapter 20.
Thank you. 🙂
No, it would detract from the core purpose of the book, and I have no business talking about fitness. I’ll be providing plenty of my own personal TRT experiences on this blog though. On Thursday I’ll be posting another TRT post.
This month and yes.
Like I said, I have no huge problem with caffeine, until and unless we discover some new side effect we weren’t aware of. So if you want to drink coffee, go for it. (I still won’t.)
Three answers to that:
1. The vast, vast majority of humans who start using credit cards with the intention of using them “responsibly” don’t end up actually using them responsibly. I wouldn’t take the risk. But it’s your life.
2. I don’t say this in the book, but your goal should be to not give a shit about your credit rating at all. Your credit report and credit score are simply a measure of how easy it is for you to go into debt and be a slave to the banks. So if you agree with me that debt is bad, your “credit” should be a non-issue. I don’t care at all about my “credit” because I never borrow money unless I need a new house (maybe). (And remember there are many ways to buy a house without anyone focusing too much on your credit score.)
3. I have a debit card (PayPal) that pays 1% cash back, which I put towards air travel. Much better than a credit card (debt) that only gives you miles instead of cash.
Your natural personal appearance, i.e. the personal appearance you were born with, has little to do with Alpha 2.0. There is no “difference.” It’s just that if you’re a more naturally good-looking guy, you’ll have less work to do in attracting women.
I addressed that in the book. To repeat my answer: I think it’s way too risky, but I have to admit I have met men who are making money doing it. So make your own decision. I personally wouldn’t choose that as a primary income source.
Yes it does, since if you travel outside of your country you will feel less tied-down to your own country. Much unhappiness these days is caused by the subconscious thought “I NEED things to work in my country and if they don’t I’m fucked!!!” Travelling outside of your country really alleviates this unhappiness. A lot.
Is it a core and necessary Alpha 2.0 item? No, it’s a minor one. That’s why it was the last chapter in the book.
Thank you.
To answer that, I would have to spill the beans on my evil master plan, and I can’t do that. The long and short of it is this book is a small but important stepping stone to even bigger things, and the goal I have for the book is not (necessarily) to make money directly on book sales. More I can’t say; you’ll just have to wait.
As I’ve said before, this entire Blackdragon/Alpha 2.0 business/endeavor is a 15-year project for me. I started it in 2009, so I’m only one-third into this thing. I always operate for the long term and play the long game. Much, much more is coming.
You’ll have to ask the hundred or so men who have emailed me so far asking for the hardcover version even though they’ve already bought the ebook. Some guys like paper. And as a good capitalist, I’m here to give the market what it wants.
Haha! No I did’t! Go back and re-read that chapter very carefully. I never said having kids outside of wedlock is bad. I said having kids outside of a emotionally and financially stable relationship is bad. Not wedlock. Marriage and monogamy don’t work, so of course I wouldn’t recommend “wedlock” to anyone.
Personal preference. And I almost never drink lemonade to be honest, though I might drink a little in the summer.
Interesting point! Two answers:
1. Can still be an Alpha 2.0 and still have subordinates. I have many, many subcontractors to whom I am the “boss,” yet I am still not Alpha 1.0. Just because you are paying others to perform work does not mean you’re a 1.0. It’s the about the structure you use and how you do it, and the emotions you have surrounding it.
2. If god came down from heaven and suddenly made me President of the United States for example, I would, for a while, attempt to maintain that position. I’m sure the “high” from that kind of power would be pleasing to my OBW for a while. However, because Alpha 2.0 is what I desire, soon I would seek to escape that position and go live my life. Barack Obama has power, but very little personal freedom, and thus suffers from massive stress (and thus, unhappiness) that I never need to worry about.
Correct. Look above about what I said about Obama. Look into the eyes of people like Hillary Clinton, George W. Bush, Henry Kissenger, etc. Do you see happiness there? I don’t. I see something very different. And it’s not happiness…certainly not something I want.
“Sociopath” is one of those loaded internet terms that everyone thinks they know what they are but yet everyone has a different definition for. If you want to be more specific about the type of person you’re asking about, I’d be happy to answer.
Thank you!
That’s a nice way to look at it. Thanks!
Chris
Posted at 04:38 pm, 7th December 2014Hey BD,
The mission section was the main reason I bought the book, as I’ve been struggling to define mine for a while now and am approaching 30. Here’s what I came up with after a couple hours on the exercise from the book:
“To realize my life of abundance, I will achieve financial comfort and independence by providing efficacious, educational exercise and nutrition information and workout facilities. All the while, I will remain free to travel and move as I please, but always strive to leave a positive influence on the world I come into contact with.”
Considering that this does resonate with my me and my Code, am I on the right track?
gelimang
Posted at 08:33 pm, 7th December 2014I think Alpha 2.0 is nearly like Sigma Males do, because he serve no one and he’s leader of his own.
I dunno what is the difference, please enlighten me mr. blackdragon
New Hombre
Posted at 08:47 am, 8th December 2014Face palm. I really did read the book 🙂
I will go back and reread that section.
Anonymous
Posted at 04:11 pm, 8th December 2014Do you think that someone in a monogamous relationship can still benefit from the book and alpha male 2.0 framework?
Caleb Jones
Posted at 04:43 pm, 8th December 2014That Mission is fine. I personally think it includes too many things, but that’s just my opinion. In terms of what a Mission is or is not, it works. So if it resonates with you and your Code, go for it.
Depends on what your definition of Sigma Male is. If it’s exactly what you said, than yeah, it’s Alpha 2.0. If it’s the standard definition of Sigma Male I’ve seen on manosphere sites, then no, because often Sigma Males are contemptuous of women and like a little darkness, frustration, and struggle in their lives. None of that is Alpha 2.0, since he loves women and seeks only happiness and nothing else negative.
To some degree, yes. The problem is that most people in monogamous relationships, particularly new (under 3 years) mono relationships will get so upset by what they read they’ll likely discount any other information there that could help them. This is what usually happens with newly-mono people stumble across information (or a site) like this. Open-minded receptiveness to new information instantly shuts down and defensiveness comes up. “Hm…interesting” becomes “Fuck you! This guy sucks!”. (Only when the mono relationsihp ends to people start to become receptive to alternate relationship methods and other non-sexual Alpha 2.0 information. Maybe.)
rgz
Posted at 08:09 pm, 8th December 2014How does someone start developing an alpha 2.0 business. I don’t have skills that match the jobs you list in your book and don’t know where to start.
gelimang
Posted at 10:53 pm, 8th December 2014thanks for the information father BD…
did you know there are some subliminal product to make someone “Alpha Male”? if you know it, can you see that as a shortcut to be an “Alpha Male 2.0” (because he read your material while listen the program) or somewhat that you would laughing for?
Jon
Posted at 10:37 am, 9th December 2014Hey Blackdragon,
Thanks for writing such a useful book. I’m not done with it yet, but that’s because I’m reading it twice at the same time – once for a general overview, and then also going back to work on the specific exercises.
Here’s a brief glimpse at my life right now: 90/10 Financial/Recreation. Zero women, zero social, zero family, zero fitness. I’m self-employed, but not in an Alpha 2.0 sort of way (no freedom and mostly not portable). By focusing on money almost exclusively over the past year I was able to pay off all my debt left over from my marriage/divorce and save enough to cover a year’s worth of living expenses, but I’m really not happy working all the time and don’t like where I’m living.
What do you think of the idea of moving to a new state and taking a year off to build an Alpha 2.0 business and fix my dating life? I need to get my ass back in the gym too, but that’s something I’ll do regardless.
I hate the idea of cutting my income to zero without knowing how I’ll replace it even with a 12 month reserve (I’ll hate watching that reserve balance go down too). But on the other hand, I love the idea of having an extended block of time with complete freedom to design whatever kind of life I want for myself.
So do you think a year is enough or would you recommend finding a more immediate source of income to cover living expenses while building an Alpha 2.0 business on the side?
New Hombre
Posted at 04:07 am, 10th December 2014A thought on the Alpha 2 business. Starting an online presence from scratch may be hard to get noticed.
I am in the IT realm, and I am going to hit up some local small businesses to see if they need any services. It’s much easier to get business if you already have business.
My immediate goal is not to start an online only small business, but to get one consulting job for a local shop. Long term goal is to grow it into a business.
I will start hitting up a locals shop this Friday.
Jean
Posted at 10:06 am, 10th December 2014I found my mission and it just so happens it’s the same as a man I have deep respect for : spreading martial arts.
Actually, it’s the same mission as his so I’m affraid I’m just influenced by him.
Any thoughts on this?
Caleb Jones
Posted at 10:31 am, 10th December 2014Your question is a little too general to answer, but you start with the skills you DO have. Any set of skills can be turned into an Alpha 2.0 business.
I don’t. I’m not even sure if something like that would work.
As I said in the book, sometimes you need to be out of balance for a while during a transitional phase, so what you’re describing is okay as long as its temporary. My first year right after my divorce was out of balance too.
I don’t think you need to take a year off. You could probably make something happen within 6 months if you tried hard enough. You could also move your current business from full-time to part-time (instead of zero-time).
That plan sounds good to me. It’s less expensive to get local business as an IT guy than to get distant business, just as long as your eventual goal is to get that distant business, so as to create location independent income.
“Spreading martial arts” isn’t specific enough for a Mission. I have a feeling if you polish your Mission a little, it will end up looking different than his Mission, even though they’re both martial arts-related.
Jean
Posted at 01:12 am, 11th December 2014“Spreading martial arts” isn’t specific enough for a Mission. I have a feeling if you polish your Mission a little, it will end up looking different than his Mission, even though they’re both martial arts-related.
Yes. I summed it up for you. Here is the polished version :
I want to establish enough passive income (X€ per month) and enough savings(X€) to quit my job before age X and to create a martial art school in X town which will allow me to earn enough money to live well (X€ per year). As I insanely love to travel, I will become an international expert in style X and I will teach all around the world. I will help people to develop a new form of moral (I’m not a native speaker, I don’t know if this is the best term to describe it but it’s still the best I found) which will help them to be more true to who they are/live better and thus make the world a better place.
I still have to define X.
How can I improve it?
Jon
Posted at 11:33 am, 11th December 2014Thanks for the feedback! I would definitely scale back my current work to part time if I was staying where I am, but I’ve wanted to move for years.
It helps to have that 6 month estimate to use as a guide.
fudgeman
Posted at 12:02 pm, 11th December 2014BD,
You state in the book and on your blog that a man can only have two active goals at a time. If he has more and is putting work into them, he will probably make very poor progress or end up doing nothing. This confuses me.
In Arnold’s biography, he was doing the following ALL AT THE SAME TIME:
– Working out HARDCORE to win body building titles. This included eating and sleeping in a certain strict way religiously to maximize muscle gains.
– Taking a few classes at a local school to improve his english and learn basic business skills.
– Ran a part time ( or maybe full time? ) construction business with his friend. They did things like lay bricks and redo parts of peoples houses.
– Scoped out real estate that he could buy and make profit on
– Fucked plenty of women
– Write magazine articles and star in magazine articles for his mentor and boss.
That is a ton of shit, but he molded his schedule and HABITS around them so that his life was just 100% useful activities.
Do you think he was just some sort of super human and 99% of guys are unable to tackle that many goals at once? Or do you think perhaps he talked himself up a bit in his book and wasn’t actually doing all that shit at the same time?
I ask this because right I have a couple of business related goals, some basic health goals, and a single “woman” based goal. From a schedule prospective there is enough time in the day to do all of them, but going by your two goals rule, I am destined for failure.
Can you elaborate on this at all? For example, when you launch a new business.. do you stop working out and dating women to focus 100% of your waking hours all on that single goal?
Caleb Jones
Posted at 12:31 pm, 11th December 2014All of your X statements are goals, not a Mission. Remember that a Mission should not be attached to any specific numbers or similar end-points. You need numbers like that for goals, but you don’t want them for your Mission. (That’s how a goal and a Mission are almost opposites.)
So take that first sentence that includes all those specific numbers, remove them from your Mission, and make them into goals. Add martial arts back in to what you have left, and that’s a decent Mission.
Yes. Extremely important.
Two answers:
1. Some of the things you listed aren’t goals or projects. “Fucked plenty of women” isn’t a goal or a project if you’re already doing it and already good at it. That’s an activity, not a goal. A goal is an improvement area, not something you’re already good at that you do for fun.
2. I didn’t talk about this in the book but I have in the SMIC program. There are always exceptions to every rule, some people are indeed superhuman, and some can indeed work on more than two goals at once and hit all of them fast. I think Arnold is one of those men. These men are very rare. I’m certainly not one of them and 95% of men reading this probably aren’t either. Therefore, don’t push the envelope. Focus on two goals at a time, and as soon as you hit one of them, add in the next goal on your goal list.
You’re not destined for “failure,” but you are destined to A) not hit all of those goals, B) reduce the speed of achievement for the goals you do hit. Unless, again, you think you’re Superman. Again, I am not, and 95% of men I’ve talked to over the decades also are not. Two improvement areas at a time are really the max for most human beings, even awesome ones.
Again you’re mixing up activities with goals. If I was working out to maintain my current muscle and had no improvement attached to that activity, then it doesn’t “count” towards one of my two goals. If I was managing my usual group of FBs and MLTRs without trying to improve any of my dating and relationship skills, that doesn’t “count” towards one of my two goals.
If instead I was lifting weights with a specific strength or mass improvement goal, NOW IT COUNTS. So I’d have that goal, plus the new goal of my new business, and that’s it for new goals. I could still have sex with my current women, because that’s not a goal; it’s an activity.
New Hombre
Posted at 02:10 pm, 11th December 2014I had my first independent contracting rejection this week, and it was just a non event.
Next is to get this kind of rejection proofing internalized with women.
Funny how getting rejected by women is so much harder on me than getting rejected in a business setting.
Alan
Posted at 12:09 pm, 12th December 2014I love the book, one comment I have so far, is when you talk about all the SP coming from Hollywood, and you forget the biggest sourch of SP that is constantly knocking on our ears – the goddamn music on the radio where every second pharse is “you and me forever”. And I am saying that as a musician. (though I defiantly do not write about love)
Cheers for the amazing book, I am lucky to read it when I am young. My whole family is already giving me TONS of shit for skipping university but I don’t give a shit honestly, and find the live example of SP very amusing actually – seeing my mom pissed off and saying that “if I skip high education she will never stop bugging me about it”.
Cheers!
Caleb Jones
Posted at 01:31 pm, 13th December 2014Holy shit, you are absolutely right. I completely forgot about that in the book. Music is HUGE SP and a significant contributor to Disney for women and oneitis for men. Almost all top 40 songs song by men involve extreme beta male oneitis in some form or another.
Finnegan Von Kleinenschlaffel
Posted at 09:18 pm, 13th December 2014I think social media ‘s a great decentralized PR platform, but has largely devolved into chaos and “Internet High School”.
What are your thoughts on social media?
Bob
Posted at 06:27 am, 14th December 2014Wondering if you have any advice on being an Alpha 2.0 actor/singer. Getting my income up to a stable 75,000 at the moment is very difficult, and if I do something else to acheive this then I’m not in line with my mission and passion. Would you recommend just sticking it out and working very hard even if my income will be low for years?
Caleb Jones
Posted at 11:08 am, 14th December 2014I think about 80% of it is a complete waste of time. The other 20% is worthwhile from a business standpoint as long as you do things correctly. For example, I’ve made plenty of direct and measurable money from the fact that I have almost 10,000 Twitter followers (7,000 as BD and almost 3,000 as CJ). Again though, I’m in that 20%.
You’re correct. Getting to $75K per year as a musician is extremely difficult; if you do it in the traditional manner. If you want to follow the standard model of getting gigs with your band and trying to sell CDs or iTunes singles, then yeah, it’s unlikely you’ll ever make anywhere near $75K per year.
The only way to get to that kind of money is to be a more open-ended, flexible, businesslike musician. Instead of focusing on live music and trying to get famous, focus instead on things around the music, like selling music-related products, selling other bands, repping other musicans, renting out venues, etc. Then $75K a year is no problem if you work hard enough in the inital stages.
My experience with musicians is that they hate that “busniessey” stuff and would rather stick to making low income doing what they want (playing live gigs and maybe trying to sell stuff on iTunes). If that’s you, I’d forget about an income goal for your music and get a second and unrelated income source (the concept of redundancy as described in the book).
David
Posted at 04:30 pm, 14th December 2014I will admit I haven’t bought the book yet, mostly because I have some questions and concerns about it.
I am 29, in a 7 month monogamous relationship. I work a part time job making about 860 a month, and going to graduate school. Luckily for me, I pay my school as I go, I’m almost done with it, and when I graduate I will have zero debt for it. I live with my parents rent free which allows me to pay the tuition without worrying about bills. I have no other debt in my life.
I have been reading this blog for a few months off and on, looked into the archives and such, an I wonder if I can still lead the Alpha 2.0 lifestyle? I look into my past, and I realized I’ve been a beta, a tool, and it saddens me. Its depressing I’ve let myself be used and to fall into such a state. My current Girlfriend wants an Alpha 2.0 in most aspects, she’s told me this, with the exception of sleeping with other people.
I want to be financially independent, I want to make more then $75,000 a year after taxes. My list of skills and how they can be marketed is currently being made by myself, with help from friends who know me.
One thing I know is that I don’t need to work in the US to make money. I am more then happy to move over seas to Japan, Europe, Middle East perhaps. I know Asia is a strong market for a lot of things. What are your thoughts? Do you believe there is such a thing as to late to pursue the the Alpha 2.0 lifestyle? What countries and regions do you recommend to do business in?
New Hombre
Posted at 01:21 pm, 18th December 2014One of the things I took from the book that has helped me reduce drama/increase happiness is moving away from an Alpha 1.0 control freak mindset.
I would not call myself alpha, but I have the tendency to get upset when others violate my standards/rules. I have begun intentionally letting this go. It has helped in a number of areas – parenting and dealing with people who usually aggravate me.
That one change alone is starting to reduce my stress and increase my happiness.
Sometimes I still get irritated, but it’s getting better and better.
Jean
Posted at 01:40 am, 8th March 2015Hey BD,
I’m currently reading your book and I must say I am delighted by it. I’ve not read a book that makes me reflect about every paragraph for 5 minutes in a while. It’s fascinating.
I have a question concerning the prison. On page 9, you say the prison is made by ourselves. The bars are forged by our own fears and obsolete biology. While I understand this can be the cause of things like approach anxiety, addiction to food that we are designed to seek because it’s scarce in nature (like sugar or porn), I don’t understand your examples page 10. You use the example of your father who must wake up early because “that’s what the marketplace expects”. I understand how this is some kind of prison but I don’t see how this relate to your first definition of the prison : the fact that he is enslaved to the marketplace’s rule has nothing to do with obsolete biology doesn’t it? Or maybe it’s because of the “fear” part of your definition. In that case, could you explain a little bit more how fear plays into the building of the prison?
Thank you for your valuable time (and for this delighting book!).
Caleb Jones
Posted at 12:08 pm, 8th March 2015Of course you can. The question is never “Can I?” The question is “How much time and effort would it take to get me there?”
That’s awesome! Control freaks cannot be happy. You can only achieve consistent happiness by letting your inner control freak go (Grog the Caveman).
The prison is caused by two sources.
1. Obsolete Biological Wiring, which comes from your own fears and biology.
2. Societal Programming, which is external and comes from society. My dad worrying about waking up early in the morning was a result of SP, not OBW.
As I talk about here, fear is the single most powerful negative emotion, and all other negative emotions (anger, sadness, jealousy, etc) all stem from fear. Almost all SP originates from fear. If human beings had no fear, and instead had a rational sense to avoid danger, there would be far, far less SP in the world.
Xrm
Posted at 02:24 am, 8th July 2015I am just in the middle of the book and I’m loving it so far.
My question is how much, if at all, is it relevant to an Alpha 1.0 in his early 50’s (I’m 52) and how applicable are the advises given in the book, in order to “transform” into an Alpha 2.0.
Caleb Jones
Posted at 09:52 pm, 8th July 2015Yes, it’s relevant. It’s targeted towards men age 25-45, but 90% of the book can apply to men of any age.
Xrm
Posted at 03:12 am, 12th July 2015Another question, maybe unethical but still….
I have a FEMALE friend, to whom I would like to introduce some of the ideas and principals brought in the book.
My question is: Is there a GOOD book/resource with the same/similar concepts meant for women, that you can recommend? If not, how applicable is the Alpha Male 2.0 for a woman, supposed she “drops” the parts specifically addressed to men?
Caleb Jones
Posted at 08:24 am, 12th July 2015That’s become a very common question on this site lately, and the short answer is no.
I’m noodling some ideas for the future though.
Herb Spencer
Posted at 06:45 am, 20th June 2016Looking over your Seven Life Areas, I don’t see where to fit in things that you might call avocation — projects that aren’t going to bring me any money but I do because I find them intrinsically rewarding. For example, my intellectual life is important to me. If I had no responsibilities and no need to earn money for a living, I would probably be delving into quantum mechanics to understand more about decoherence, just for the joy of having more insight into how reality works. I don’t work in academia, but I’m currently writing a paper on the foundations of probability theory just because I have an exciting result I want to share. There’s software I work on just because I have ideas I want to see put into code. There are blog posts I write just because I have ideas I want to communicate.
I don’t expect or need any of these to bring me any money; they’re just projects I have an itch to do. I don’t think of them as recreation, though, even though they’re activities I enjoy. Where do you think they fit in?
Caleb Jones
Posted at 02:29 pm, 20th June 2016Recreation, every example you mentioned. You enjoy doing them, and they don’t make many money or “help” you other than for your own personal enjoyment or fulfillment.
Leon
Posted at 12:33 am, 28th November 2016Hi BD, 2 questions from Unchained Man book:
1. For tasks that improve your life condition as a whole, like doing E3D Review, Fixing your wifi network, or Innovating your house… what SLA are they belong to?
2. You said in the book that at the time you decided to convert your biz into Alpha 2.0 business, you cut off 20% of the clients that were the most annoying but also pay a lot, and you let 4 good employees go… Less big client and less staff, I can only imagine a huge dip in your income at that time. How could you deal with that not to mention quickly recovered from that?
Thx
Caleb Jones
Posted at 02:41 pm, 28th November 2016doing E3D Review: usually financial
Fixing your wifi network: whatever you use for internet mostly for, usually recreational or financial
Innovating your house: recreational and/or family
My income didn’t dip. It went way up. All the extra time I had from not managing 4 employees, plus dicking around with crappy clients, I used to get new/better clients and perform more work for existing, good clients.
Arthur
Posted at 03:29 pm, 18th October 2017Just bought the book, I’m already excited and liking it so far. Blackdragon’s blog has been an inspiration to me for more than a year now and I’m happy to have his wisdom in book form.
Roc
Posted at 09:12 pm, 2nd October 2018Hi Caleb,
I’m from a fairly humble beginning (military brat) and must say you summed up what many of us who’ve “made it” realized (vaguely) along the way nicely.
I realized that being on the very other end of the spectrum (calmer, lower energy) myself, I could modify a lot of your good stuff to better suit my personal needs. My question: How do you clarify your “code”? Given the interferences you’ve mentioned.
I try my best to ask simple but profound questions. They seem to pay off sometimes even when there are no answers.
Have you read anything from Charlie Munger? I’m curious to how you adopt some of his ideas.