Perfect Tens
Time for a fun topic! That of “tens”, women who are a “perfect ten” on the 1 to 10 attractiveness scale. This year in particular I’ve been more successful in this area than I usually am, and even before that I had a little experience with women like this, so today I’ll give you some observations and a technique or two to assist you with these types of women.
Right off the bat, we need to clarify something. It’s something I already explained here so I will summarize: the term “ten” is 100% subjective. Every man in the universe is going to have a different picture of what a “ten” is. Sometimes very different. Your “10” may be my “6”, and my “10” may be your “4”. Yes, this is very possible, and I’ve seen many men online get into a lot of very stupid arguments about this.
Therefore, whenever a man says “ten”, what he’s really talking about is one of two types of women:
- Your “personal ten”, the type of woman YOU consider to be a ten, but fully acknowledge that many other men probably would not.
- An “estimated ten”, the type of woman you guess most other men would also consider to be a ten. Usually, when I use the term “ten”, that’s what I’m talking about. This would be a woman I think most men, not all, but most, would consider to be a 10, or at least a 9 or very high 8, based on what we all know of what is considered attractive biologically and societally. Britney Spears about 15 years ago or Scarlett Johansson today are good examples. These are women that most men, not all, but most, would consider tens or very close to it.
My point here is that there is no such thing as an “objective ten”, a woman where all men in your culture would consider a ten. I’m sorry folks, but this woman doesn’t exist. You’re either talking about a woman YOU consider to be a ten, or a woman you guess most men would consider a ten (and remember, you’re just guessing; you could be wrong). A personal ten or an estimated ten, no objective tens.
(There is another argument I’ve heard, one that is hard to dispute. It states that there is really no such thing as tens at all…that tens are merely very fit sevens and eights who know how to use makeup well. Interesting argument, and there’s a lot of validity to it, but I will leave that particular discussion for another time.)
Over the course of my Alpha “career”, I have had sex with and/or have dated a small number of personal tens and estimated tens. Honestly, my numbers in this area are not huge, since I live in the Seattle / Portland area, a place where there are a decent number of eights and nines, but very few tens. Which leads to our first trait of tens…
Typical Ten Traits
1. They move away to larger or more exciting cities relatively early in adult life.Â
The reason I have access to few tens is because tens tend to move to larger cities as soon as they’re able. It’s rare for a ten to stick around in a small or even medium-sized town. When a woman is a ten, she figures it out pretty damn fast. Usually by the time she’s about 20 she’s discovered that she’s something special, even beyond other cute girls. Then she’ll move to big city like New York, Chicago, or Los Angeles, or to an exciting city, like Vegas, San Francisco, or Miami, in order to better seek excitement, fame, fortune, attention, a super-rich husband, or all of the above. (Please forgive my American examples. Simply translate to your country’s city equivalents if you live outside the US.)
Most of the tens I have known have done this…moved away to bigger and better places as soon as they feel comfortable. This means that if you live in a bigger or cooler city, you’ll have much more easy access to tens than if you live in a small or medium sized city.
However, even if you live in a non-big, non-cool city, you can still find a ten or two if you put in the numbers long enough (and you don’t live in a really tiny town). I certainly have, but it was simply because I’ve been putting in a lot of numbers for a long time.
Regardless, if you don’t live in a big or cool city, don’t expect any ten you meet to stick around there for very long. If she does, she’s the exception to the rule and you happened to get lucky. If you already live in a very big or cool city, you’re in good shape.
2. They tend to go into gold digger mode starting at around age 22.
Remember, tens know they’re tens, and they figure this out very early in life. Soon they realize the vast power they have over men. By the time they’re around 22 or 23 years old (that’s a very rough average, simply based on my observations), they no longer see the point of dating a guy unless he throws some money at her (one night stands and distant, infrequent FBs being the exception to this rule; I’m talking about ongoing relationships here).
There are varying degrees to this of course. Some tens are extreme gold diggers while others are minor league diggers
Example of an extreme ten gold digger: Once I was on a date with an 25 year-old estimated ten (a perfect blonde Barbie) and she made it very clear to me that she was an “expensive gal” and that she “only dated millionaires” and that she expected gifts from her boyfriend that included jewelry and a car. Yes, a car. She went on to complain that the last guy she dated gave her a birthday present that “only cost $400”.
As you might imagine, she didn’t last very long with me and we did not have sex (though I did get sexual with her which was quite nice). She simply shrugged and went on to the next guy, a much older multimillionaire who proceeded to buy her whatever she wanted, including a new apartment.
Like I said, tens wield vast power and they know it.
Example of a minor gold digger: I once dated an 28 year-old estimated ten (another blonde) who was very sweet and fantastic in bed, but one day started strongly implying that she “really needed fake boobs” and how great it would be if “someone helped her out with that”.
As you might imagine, I helped her out with orgasms, but not with fake boobs (not that she needed fake boobs…her natural boobs were perfect). She was a short-lived FB, but lots of fun while she lasted.
You can take two things from this. First, sometimes a ten’s gold digging tendencies can be managed; it depends on the woman. Second, these tendencies only start at around age 22, which means you can have sex with tens under that age with no trouble whatsoever. I recently had sex with a 21 year-old estimated ten (a model-gorgeous latina) with very little effort. So you can stick with this age loophole and keep it to tens under age 22 if you like. However, realize that will drastically reduce your pool of possibilities (unless you live in a very large city).
3. They tend to be very inconsistent, more so than most other women.
This may not be a universal maxim…it’s just been my experience. Tens seems to be much more inconsistent and fickle than normal attractive women. They love you one minute, they don’t want to talk to you the next minute. I’ve experienced enough of this from tens to the point where I don’t think it’s a coincidence. I could be wrong, but I have a feeling that carrying on a very long term, consistent relationship with a ten would be extremely unlikely (unless she was an “aging ten” or “former ten”, like a super-hottie well over age 40 Ă Â la Shannon Tweed).
Again, this is simply my impression, and I am but one Alpha among many. If you’ve dated multiple tens and have experienced something different, do let us know in the comments.
4. Estimated tens are hypersensitive about their appearance, and will go to great lengths, financial and otherwise, to improve and maintain their bodies.
I can tell you for a fact that this stereotype is absolutely true, comically so. Tens are fanatically hypersensitive about their bodies to the point of anal obsession.
She’s constantly freaking out about how her hips are half an inch too small for her ratio. Or she’s constantly self-conscious that her perfect thighs are not the exact right shape. Or she files to a distant city on a regular basis to get the fat cells sucked out of her already-perfect abdomen so she won’t “get chubby there later in life”.
These are all real examples of tens I’ve been with. Pretty insane. I almost feel sorry for them. They really worry about this shit, and it truly bothers them. She’ll have a panic attack about some little spot on the side of her neck while looking at the mirror, while I’m standing right behind her, shirtless, jiggling my hairy belly and laughing. Be very, very thankful you’re a man.
5. Personal tens don’t exhibit most of these behaviors, but they will exhibit some of them.
The great loophole here is personal tens. These are women YOU consider to be a ten, but many other men, if not most men, won’t. That means that you get the benefit of a “ten” without a lot of the overhead I’ve listed above. Some of the most fabulous relationships and most mind-blowing, spiritual-level sex has been with personal tens. Because she’s a personal ten rather than an estimated ten, she won’t be accustomed to quite the onslaught of male slathering the estimated tens receive, so her requirements are less.
But! Don’t fool yourself. I have been burned more than once thinking that a personal ten wouldn’t behave like an estimated ten because “not all guys think she’s as hot as I do”. Wrongo. They certainly can and they might. That girl you consider a personal ten has plenty of other men out there who consider her their personal ten as well, or at least their personal nine or eight or seven. That’s still attention, and it has the same net effect. It’s just that the odds are on your side and the amount of overhead will be less.
Advice On Dealing With Tens
1. All the rules about not complimenting appearance go double, if not triple, for tens.
Yep, I’m going to repeat one of my most hated pieces of advice. I have repeatedly talked about how you should NOT compliment a woman’s appearance unless you’ve already had sex with her at least twice, and even then you should keep it down to a minimum.
The more physically attractive a woman, the more this is true. The hotter she is, the more damage you will do to your chances with her if you tell her she’s hot. That means that with tens, this rule is absolute. Not only should you not compliment them, you should act as if their beauty in no way affects you, and in no way influences your decision to have sex with them, beyond what it normally would with any other woman.
As a matter of fact, one of the few times I endorse the use of “negs” is with tens. Yes, negs do actually work on tens, and if a woman is an estimated ten this is one of the rare times I will use a neg or two on her. (I don’t use negs on nines or below; I don’t think they’re necessary. With a confident and outcome independent attitude and frame, you don’t need them.)
No matter how tempted you are, do NOT compliment a ten on her appearance in ANY WAY WHATSOEVER. Not if you want to have sex with her quickly.
2. Do not treat them any differently than any other woman you’re having sex with.
This is simply an extension of not complimenting appearance. Once you are in a regular relationship with a ten (FB or MLTR doesn’t matter), you need to be very cognizant and careful that you are not treating her any better than any other FB or MLTR you’d be seeing.
Even with men with lots of experience and a strong frame, tens can exert power over you in a very subtle way, and it’s not difficult to realize that you’re giving her a little spectral treatment because she’s So Hotâ˘. Don’t fall for this. Re-read my post on how to avoid oneitis if you need to. If she starts getting the feeling that she’s something special, you’re done.
Of course none of this applies to women in the OLTR category. OLTRs are indeed special and of course you can treat a ten that way if she’s your OLTR. However! I will repeat the cardinal rule of OLTRs: A woman is only allowed to be an OLTR until after she’s been an MLTR with zero problems for at least six months.
3. Never stop demonstrating value in very outcome independent ways.
While dating a ten, you need to make sure you’re doing things like:
- Not seeing her on days she wants to see you because you’re “too busy”.
- Not acquiescing to her requests to drive her places, or meet her places closer to her home, etc.
- Let many days go by with zero contact from you.
- Completely avoid posting anything whatsoever on any of her social media pages. (Instant death if you do this. Let the beta males drool over her on Instragram and Facebook. You want to be the one fucking her, not fantasizing about her from afar.)
- Delay responses to her incoming texts / calls / messages / emails.
- Etc. You get the point.
Again, you should be doing this stuff anyway, with all women, and ideally you should be doing these things not as an act or “technique” but because you really are that busy with important tasks to move you towards your Mission (or having sex with other women). I’m saying with a ten, especially an estimated ten, you need to really be aware of this and be very consistent with it.
She needs to completely understand that she’s not dating the typical guy who is enamored of her or thinks he’s “lucky” to get such a Hot Girlâ˘. You’re not a beta. You’re a man on a Mission who is extremely busy and can get any woman he wants. If you’re not like that man, at least act like it, and work towards becoming that man for real.
Which, again, you should be doing anyway, regardless of women.
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Since I turned 18 (almost 10 years ago), I’ve encountered exactly two personal 10s. I was successful with these women (most likely because put more thought and effort into it than I normally would) but then the strangest (I.e. normal) thing happened: they slowly started deteriorating and were no longer a 10. My perception had changed, and it’s not like it was really them “changing” – just learning more about them as time went on.
Going after personal 10s is about as exciting as a romance can get, in my opinion, but it ends with you perplexed as to how such perfection could turn to something that’s no longer remarkable. I hope to never have another personal 10.
I’ve found that to be true – woman I find to be 10 turn into a 7…
But I’ve found the flip side true too – a woman I thought was a 7 would turn into 10 the more I got to know her.
It doesn’t have to do with personality either, its just the way I end up preciving physical appearance.
I’ve posted about this before and this happens to me ALL the time, mostly due to weight gain.
Nice piece. You pretty much nailed it there AND I will say though that the ‘delayed texting’ thing has been figured out by many chicks who use the same tactic on guys.
Good Insights. But some questions.
1) As I read this I had Roissy’s voice in the back of my mind (god help me) saying “but there is such a thing as an objective beauty hierarchy”. You also know that the entire political Right (which the Manosphere is a derivative) believes in hierarchy. It is the Left which believes in relativism and equality. The Roissyites will argue that there has to be a biologically derived objective beauty and thus the 1 – 10 scale is not subjective. I’m mixed on this. On one hand I think Candice Swanepoel is a 10 (an 11 actually). But I also see that there is tremendous variation that beauty can come in. Curious as to your thoughts.
2) Complimenting beautiful women after sex. What is your practice on compliments after sex for the beauties? Mystery used to say never tell a beautiful woman that she is beautiful even after you’ve had sex with her. Do you agree? How complimentary should you be with the gorgeous ones? Even broader, how much affection should you show these women when the relationship is established (whatever that relationship is). Affection guidelines?
3) Any strategies for handling the gold-diggers? I know a relationship with these women is tough and a form of self-punishment. But these chicks can be great in bed. Do you proceed with your two-date template same as always? Drinks first date but no kissing? Ignore her gold-digging probes and change convo threads?. Keep it to adventure and sex? Isolate and escalate?
4) Games, i.e. delayed texts, etc. These are shit tests. How do handle these? If she takes time texting do you take even more time? I think I read somewhere that you don’t follow that. Am I right? I guess a super strong frame is the key to everything in game but I was wondering if you have a tactic for the text game playing.
Regards
You may have dated “personal tens” via online dating, but I seriously doubt you land anything higher than “estimated” sevens. I say this not because I think your game is bad or you’re looks aren’t up to snuff. I say it because “estimated” tens don’t go online to find men. If by some rare chance they are on a dating website, they are there to fuck around and play the Ryan Gosling lotto. What is the Ryan Gosling lotto you ask? It’s when high SMV women go online with no intention of meeting anyone ( eg: mere mortals ) but if George Clooney or Ryan Gosling messaged them they MIGHT entertain it. You could be the best looking man in America with the tightest game in history. You could send 1000s of openers weekly. You are not getting a “estimated” ten online.
I’ll also add that I suspect the sevens and eights you find online are either single moms or girls without much of a social circle. Usually they don’t have much of a social circle even though they are hot due to things like being really crazy, mental issues, abusive past ( I’ve been with a large amount of 7s and 8s from online that were raped and abused ), or they are girls that are brand new in town. Any girl above an “estimated” 6 in looks is NOT going to seriously go online and meet men. It would be like Bill Gates going on Dice.com or CareerBuilder to find a job. Wouldn’t make any fucking sense.
This isn’t an attack or troll. If you disagree I’d love to hear your point of view and counter argument.
This is a great post. Ignore her beauty. Could not agree more.
Thanks for sharing.-dcl
thanks BD, took a lot from this post. I have always had problems getting 9’s and 10’s but no problem with everything else. All I want is to fuck 9’s and 10’s, I have very high standards, I just need to get over being intimidated by them and stop thinking all 9s and 10s already have a boyfriend.
Who to 10s marry? As a general rule. Do they get money if they want it? What is the life arc of the 10.
You can tell Blackdragon’s getting desperate with his latest claim of snagging more “tens” than ever before. This on the heels of censoring the sedfast forum upon taking over admin duties.
Meanwhile, everyone else in the manosphere is reporting further decline in the behavior of western women (i.e. each year they are getting worse than before).
You have enough money, Caleb. Stop bullshitting people. Or are you BSing about that too?
Very true.
Who to 10s marry? As a general rule. Do they get money if they want it? What is the life arc of the 10.
I’m not sure if there’s a typical “life arc” for a ten. Either she marries a very rich guy and suffers all the usual consequences of monogamous marriage, or she gets into drugs. But I’m really generalizing here and could be way off.
Yet I was still very clear in the post, repeatedly, that I haven’t been with very many tens. Pretty strange way to brag, if that was my goal.
I haven’t taken over any new admin duties at Sedfast; they’re the same as they’ve always been.
And Sedfast is the only major PUA forum on the internet that does not censor based on being force-tied to a particular guru (or gurus), technique, product, or lair. Any technique, guru, or relationship type can, and is, discussed there. How many PUA guys to you know who sponsor a forum (that does not turn a profit) where they allow posters to bash them and/or teach things that directly disagree with what the sponsor says?
You’re more than welcome to dislike me all you want, Orel_Pujols, but in the future please check your facts more carefully before shooting your mouth off on my blog. And if you really think I suck, refrain from posting here at all. Thanks.
The question is, are there men out there who would NOT consider Candice Swanepoel a 10? The answer is yes. Therefore, it’s subjective. Some would say her tits are too big or too small, her lips are too big, etc. I wouldn’t say that, I think she looks great, but I’m positive there are some men out there who would.
I don’t go quite that far with it. I think once you’ve had sex with a woman twice, it’s okay, but I would still keep it very light and infrequent.
If she’s an MLTR, I get as physically and verbally affectionate as I like. Sometimes very much so. I just keep to the established MTLR rules (once a week, always make her cum, don’t contact her much, no gifts, no expensive dates, etc).
Nothing beyond what I normally do…just don’t go MLTR with gold diggers. Keep them at the FB level only, and don’t expect them to last very long there.
Correct, I don’t usually follow that, since I think that’s game-playing. If she doesn’t give me drama, schedules meets with me, and shows up to those meets, I could care less how fast it takes her to respond to my texts. I have much more important things in life to concern myself with.
I can tell you for an absolute fact this is not accurate. At least not 100% so. YES, there are very, very few tens online. Yes yes. But “very few” does not mean “zero”. I’ve been doing online game for many years now, and there are indeed a very few tens online who haven’t moved away to larger cities yet. The ones older than 23 are on usually paid dating sites like Match.com, the very young ones (under 23) can be found on the free ones or paid ones. Again, you’re right in that there are very few, but very few does not mean “none”.
Moreover, a lot of the tens I’ve been with were not from online…they were social circle lays from other non-ten women I was dating (whom I did find online).
Single moms, absolutely yes. Girls without social circles, sometimes but not usually. Girls new in town, rarely but sometimes.
I don’t screen, so these aspects don’t matter to me at all as long as I find a woman physically attractive.
<iThe question is, are there men out there who would NOT consider Candice Swanepoel a 10? The answer is yes. Therefore, itâs subjective. Some would say her tits are too big or too small, her lips are too big, etc. I wouldnât say that, I think she looks great, but Iâm positive there are some men out there who would.
You make a good point. You disagree with Roissy then. Trying to make sense of both views you could say that there are objective beauty rankings but the many factors that go into an analysis are so complicated that normal humans will have so great a variance that any true beauty scale is not wieldy. Maybe future technology will make a beauty scale possible. But for no all we can know is that Roseanne Barr is less sexy than Kate Upton. But what is a “9” and what is a “10” can’t be known with anywhere near the same certainty. I’ll agree with that.
Thanks for your responses. All very helpful.
Holy crap, this is enlightening. I’m currently dating a 42 year old former 10. She’s really inconsistent, thinking about getting plastic surgery to take a tiny bit of fat off her neck (no idea what she’s talking about), modeled for Playboy back in the day, and kind of a gold digger, but she directs that tendency at her boyfriend. She just broke up with me for the 4th time in a year and a half. Think I’ve pretty much done everything right with her, but it’s a tough relationship anyway, with her living with a BF and all. Any chance of a full post about aging but still hot former tens?
Even now sometimes I’m still amazed to experience how sex with a great-looking woman can be so dull and ‘so what’, if I get no charge from her personality, attitude, intelligence, etc.
I would guess it’s just a sign of me aging (and maturing, I hope), but I remember experiences like this back in my teens and 20’s, so it isn’t due to me changing with age.
No, I don’t need to fall in love or think she’s perfect …
Some great looking women don’t exude much feminine sensibility, emotional softness, vulnerability, etc.
They express eagerness for sex about like a guy saying ‘Hey guys, let’s watch the game and eat pizza. Cool, no prob, bro. Hey, high five on that orgasm.’
I’m always surprised when I find a great looking woman whose mind/personality has not been warped by people reacting to her looks, and I wonder how she remained unspoiled.
Am I just too damned picky?
If so, maybe that’s a factor in my epic dry spells…
P.S. I’d like to second Captain Caveman’s request for a post on “aging but still hot former tens”.
@FudgeMan: The hottest girls I have ever scored have been from online. They have been the types of girls that just about any guy would consider a 10 (I live in Miami where arguably the most beautiful women in the USA live.)
Look, they are people too. Just because they’re super hot doesn’t mean some of them can’t be semi-normal and want to find a decent guy outside of their social circle (which often is filled with losers). They have trouble finding “normal” guys because only the creepos usually approach them. Having said that, every single one of them has definitely had all the “hot girl” traits. These girls have been swimsuit models, Maxim models and Miami Dolphins cheerleaders.
If you’re a good looking dude (you don’t have to be a George Clooney) and have decent game, you can pull them off the internet.
Okay, I will think about it. It’s pretty much the standard women over-33 stuff with a few minor differences.
@Bo
The manospheres itself is full of hypocrites because they’re supposedly all against this and that (Heartiste with his Attention Whore of the Month Post today) and yet they’re out trying to game the same pussy they hate on. Blackdragon isn’t much better – he’s an “alpha” (wtf) who plays the petty existence game of ego-gratifying futility – but at least he’s more of a pragmatist who doesn’t hate on a whole lot. Nihilism is the way to go, because life is futile and leads nowhere, and in order to do anything you have to delude yourself into thinking that it’s worth something, when it’s not. People will say “look what I accomplished!” but then they’re off trying to find the next thing to do: vicious repetition with no satisfaction.
I’ve dated a couple of models (struggling like 98% of models, but still). One of them was a quite introverted and liked reading and pursuing her business rather than partying. The other was a very classic caretaker type nanny that found happiness in that and also disliked going out much. Both were as far as I can tell very healthy but their personality just made online fit them rather well. It is obviously very rare, but women like that do exist.
Have you tested the no looks compliments empirically?
I’m a goodlooking guy and whether a girl compliments me on it, doesn’t affect how I related to her.
As well I always give compliments and I have had lots of success. I know you don’t argue you can’t, just lowers percentages. I’m thinking it won’t affect percentages at all.
Rather I think that she gouges how much you value her through subcommunications. EG) Brat Pitt saying you’re gorgeous would be more non-chalent than a chode saying YOU’RE GORGEOUS. The value sucking is indicated from tonality.
Also I negating things to say can cause stifling. It’s the difference between being alpha and pretending.
Yes. Back in 2009, extensively.
That’s because you’re a guy.
That’s because you’re good looking.
Exactly.
Then test it empirically with LOTS of women and let me know what you find. (I already know what you’ll find.)
10s that read. Kinda introvert makes sense that they would be online. Idk. I don’t do online. But really a bookworm who doesn’t learn how to dress well, or move well, is a 10?
But 10s that are a little outgoing which is mostly all, from my experience and I guess Blackdragon’s as well, you will never find posted on online dating sites. 10s are approached regularly and alot, once again in my experience. This is contrary to half puas saying, guys are too fearful of 10s.. I never even learned this retarded belief until I read pua material. No, there are alot of guys worthy, or who think they are worthy to hook up with a 10. Especially the bigger the city, the more worthy guys hitting up 10s by the wk.
Crazy? Idk. Mental issues? Pent up anger and rage. Abusive past? No doubt some.
BD, i’ve recently discovered your blog and i’m glad that I have.
My game has improved over the last year dramatically but still has a way to go.
I recently went on  a first date with what i’d call a 9 – not a 10 but certainly head and shoulders above other girls that I have dated.
First date came and went after an initial flake on the first scheduled time. We kissed at the end of the date (yes, ive since read your rules on not kissing on the first date). She could not get enough of me but did not come back to mine.
Texting was kept to a minimum and she proposed a second date at a new restaurant in town when she was finished with her studies. She said she would let me know when she was available. She never did. I texted her asking her how her weekend was.. no reply. A week later a texted her and got a response and she explained how she was sick. We ended up scheduling a time for 2nd date (thurs night).
She came to mine and we drove in to the restaurant. The night couldn’t have gone any better apart from the fact that i didnt sleep with her. She was naked in my bed at the end of the night and seemed really into me. Telling me how funny I was, how attractive, that I have a nice body etc.
Two days later (sat morning) I text a pic of the view on my morning run. She replies a few hours later with some small talk.
Monday afternoon I call to pitch the 3rd date, she doesnt answer, doesnt return the call. I text tuesday afternoon suggesting she come around one night as ive got the place to myself and that id cook dinner and we could go bowling etc. She hasnt replied – 24 hours later.
I guess this applies to your point 3. I have probably made myself too available and not let enough days go without contact. i Slept with another girl sunday night but she did little to keep my mind of her. It goes without saying that I basically have to wait for her to contact me next.
Ive recently purchased your book so plan to read this.
Cheers
Never go along with what a woman proposes for date locations pre-sex.
Then you should have had sex with her. You had her naked in your bed and didn’t have sex. This was most likely why she floated away (in addition to you not pulling the trigger fast on a followup date).
Are there reasons for this? I don’t mind if the place isn’t expensive and too far away from my home or hers.
If a woman seriously suggests going to a coffee shop for an hour right by your home, then of course say yes, but how often does that happen?
Usually she’ll suggest a more expensive place, or a “activity” like rock climbing or something which will shove you into friend zone.