Different Types of Alpha Male 2.0 Relationship Models
Not all Alpha Male 2.0s are the same. There are 2.0s of differing types, ages, personalities, goals, and preferences. This will be the first in a series of posts where I cover the various types and structures that fall under the Alpha Male 2.0 umbrella. It’s a big mistake to assume that “all Alpha Male 2.0s are just like Blackdragon.” It’s not the case at all. As a matter of fact, I’ve been surprised at how many men I’ve met who follow the Alpha 2.0 system (or at least a close variation of it) that are completely unlike me.
Today, I’ll describe the various types of nonmonogamous relationship structures followed by Alpha 2.0s. Some of these I like, some I dislike, some I feel neutral about, but all fall under the Alpha Male 2.0 structure of maximum freedom, maximum sex (and companionship, if it’s desired), minimum drama, and minimum rules.
None of these structures are objectively better than any other. It’s strictly a matter of opinion. Specifically, a matter of what you like and prefer based on your personality type, age, and lifestyle objectives. They all “work.” Your job is to pick the best one for you, which may not the best for me, your best friend, or any other other Alpha Male 2.0.
As always, refer to the handy glossary for any acronyms you’re not familiar with, like FB, MLTR, OLTR, or whatever.
They are listed in no particular order.
1. Multiple MLTRs and FBs – This is the most obvious and typical Alpha Male 2.0 model, and the one I’ve used the most in the past. It’s when you have a harem of 1-3 MLTRs and 1-3 FBs all at the same time. Some women come, some go. Some women are consistent, some are not. Some are serious (MLTRs) some are not (FBs). Usually you’ll have one MLTR that you consider your “main girl” that you like the most and may be girlfriend-ish, but not quite.
This is a model built from a strong sense of abundance. It’s for Alpha 2.0s with higher sex drives who enjoy relationships, but who don’t have a strong need for pair bonding.
Upsides: High freedom, exciting, emotional connection(s).
Downsides: No pair bonding, can be a little expensive if you’re not careful, can be difficult to schedule all the women in your life.
2. Nothing but FBs – This model is the least expensive of all the models listed here. It also offers the second-highest level of freedom (just under the guy who only uses escorts). It’s when all the women in your life are FBs. There are never any MLTRs or OLTR. There’s no dating, just lots of sex with multiple FBs, as many or as little as you like.
The advantages are huge. They’re all FBs, so you never need to take them out or spend any money. None of them ever require ‘The Talk’ (since they’re all FBs), nor require very much of your time. Drama is pretty much zero.
Upsides: Ultra-high amount of freedom, lowest amount of drama, most inexpensive of all other Alpha 2.0 relationship models, lots of sex.
Downsides: No pair bonding, no emotional connection (other than friendship).
3. Sugar Daddy Game – This is a model for over-30, higher-income Alpha 2.0s. It’s where you sex hot young women very quickly via sugar daddy dating sites, often paying these women or at least paying for more expensive dates. It’s not my thing, but I describe the pros and cons in more detail here. It’s a very fast and efficient way to get laid with very hot girls, but it’s expensive, pair bonding is virtually impossible, and long-term relationships (even casual ones) are also virtually impossible unless you want to shell out money for them.
Upsides: Super hot women, very fast sex, much less game required, high amount of freedom.
Downsides: Expensive, ongoing relationships of any kind are virtually impossible (unless you pay).
4. Escorts – This means you have sex with hookers and no one else. It’s very similar to sugar daddy game except you’re using professional hookers/escorts instead of sugar babies, and it’s often less expensive, particularly if you live outside of the Western world. It’s fast, efficient, you get exactly what you want, but you have to pay for it and actual relationships are virtually impossible. Depending on where you live and what kinds of women you like, you may need to manage STD risk and prostitution illegality as well.
Upsides: Ultra-high freedom, very fast sex, zero game required.
Downsides: Expensive, ongoing relationships of any kind are virtually impossible, possible illegality and STD risks.
5. OLTR – I’ve talked about this at length at this blog and in my books. You have one committed, pair bonded girlfriend but you’re allowed to play around on the side within ground rules, and the side-women must all be FBs or one night stands (no MLTRs or other OLTRs allowed).
This is the ideal model for Alpha 2.0s with stronger pair bonding needs. It also looks more normal to those around you than many of the other models, so social acceptance is higher. However, you have a girlfriend, which means the drama quotient is higher and the freedom levels are lower. Also, the OLTR model very often turns into De Facto Monogamy when guys get complacent.
Upsides: Love, pair bonding, more societal acceptance, decent amount of sex.
Downsides: Little less freedom, little more drama, strong risk of getting lazy and becoming de facto monogamous.
6. OLTR with One Rotating FB – This is the model I’m working up to as I get older, and the OLTR model that involves the least amount of work and time. You have just two women in your life; your OLTR and just one FB on the side. When the FB LSNFTEs you, you quickly replace her with a new one. Ideally, you have a second FB on “hot standby” for when this happens. It helps if you have built up a large roster of returning MLTRs/FBs over the years, providing a steady stream of quick FB replacements without having to go back to daygame, night game, or the dating sites.
It’s a great model for older or busier Alpha 2.0s. You have a consistent, long-term OLTR with rotating FBs on the side, but no more than two active women at one time (your OLTR and single active FB). You don’t have as many women as with many of the other models, but it takes far less time than almost all other nonmonogamy models and it’s a great way to help avoid the OLTR risk of de facto monogamy.
Upsides: Love, pair bonding, more societal acceptance, decent amount of sex, easy on the schedule.
Downsides: Little less freedom, little more drama.
7. OLTR with Escorts/Sugar Babies – Under this model, an Alpha 2.0 has an OLTR but instead of FBs on the side, he pays escorts or sugar babies. This costs much more money obviously, but takes way less time. It’s best for busy, higher-income Alpha 2.0s.
Upsides: Love, pair bonding, more societal acceptance, decent amount of sex, very little time requirement for side-women.
Downsides: Little less freedom, little more drama, costs a lot more money.
8. Swinger – This is when you and your OLTR (girlfriend or wife) have sex, as a couple, with other couples. Unlike with other nonmonogamous models, you are not allowed to go out independently and have sex with whomever you want. Your OLTR must be intimately involved at all times. The good news is that you can “watch” your OLTR in ways your normally can’t, keeping jealousy and fear lower for the both of you. The bad news is that you’re not free; in some ways it’s pretty much like monogamy.
I personally do not like the swinger model at all, since it’s the most restrictive of all these models and has a stronger beta male feel to it. However, I have to admit that the men (and women) I’ve met who are swingers are very happy with it and really enjoy it. Since happiness is the goal of the Alpha 2.0, I will include the swinger model here since it seems to work well for men with certain personality types.
The downside is that it’s much less free. You’re 100% reliant on your OLTR to go along with it, and if she doesn’t, you’re out of luck (and essentially monogamous). Also, often the women you’ll have sex on the side with won’t be nearly as hot. When your OLTR wants to hook up with a guy with an uglier wife/GF, you’ll sometimes have to “take one for the team” and have sex with women you don’t find that attractive.
The upside is that you’ll always be able to monitor your OLTR which reduces angst and jealousy over what she might be doing when you’re not around (and the same is true of her worrying about you). Again, I don’t like this because of the outcome dependence involved, but many men do.
Upsides: Love, pair bonding, less jealousy, more social acceptance.
Downsides: Very little freedom compared to other Alpha 2.0 models (almost like monogamy), more drama, requires your OLTR to constantly agree and participate, side women often won’t be good-looking.
9. OLTR Marriage – A model I’ve discussed many times including here and here. It’s the same as the three OLTR models described above except you actually live with your OLTR in the same home, either part time (via Virtual Live-In OLTR or Dual Live-In OLTR, as explained in my books) or full time. You’re either legally married with an enforceable prenuptial agreement, or not legally married at all (not legally married is much better) with an enforceable co-habitation agreement instead.
You’re still having sex with women on the side (but no MLTRs) and your finances are 100% separate from hers. No joint accounts, assets, debts, or leases with your OLTR, though you can still take care of her financially if you like.
Because of the nature of living with a female, your freedom drops about 10-30% and drama goes up about 10-30%, depending on various factors, no matter how good you are. You fully understand this, and you accept that is the price you pay for living with your special lady. Unlike the typical married guy, you can still go out and get laid and have a lot more legal protections for your cash. However, having sex with side-women becomes more logistically difficult so you need to pre-plan on ways around this (step one would be to buy my book on the subject, where I discuss various methods Alpha 2.0s use when they live with an OLTR).
This is a good model for more traditionally-minded Alpha 2.0s who prefer living with a woman, or those over age 40, or those Alpha 2.0s who want kids. I will very likely be pursuing this option myself at some point (I’m in that over 40 demographic).
Upsides: Love, co-habitation, strong pair bonding, social acceptance, decent amount of sex, children if you want them.
Downsides: Less freedom, more drama, slightly more legal/financial risks, increased difficulty with logistics regarding having sex with side-women.
10. Platonic Wife with FBs – This model is a little rarer, but I’ve spoken with many men who have it. It’s when you’re married or living with a wife/GF, but the two of you don’t have sex any more. Instead, you have sex with FBs on the side and your wife either openly allows it or quietly tolerates it. You don’t want to get divorced, because you have kids and want what’s best for them, and other than the lack of sex the marriage is good.
Under this model, you’re likely going to get divorced once your last child moves out of the house. Therefore, Platonic Wife with FBs is usually a “do it for the children” play.
Upsides: Co-habitation, social acceptance, decent amount of sex, children if you want them.
Downsides: Less freedom, higher amount of drama, much more legal/financial risks, increased difficulty with logistics regarding having sex with side-women, definitely going to get a divorce later that will screw up your finances.
11. Platonic Wife with Side OLTR – This is a bizarre one that’s even more rare than Platonic Wife with FBs, yet I have spoken with several men who live like this, particularly wealthier men or Europeans. It violates the primary rule of OLTR (she’s the only one you’re pair bonded to), but it still can work for Alpha 2.0s who are very strong and don’t mind a little more drama in their lives.
It’s the same as Platonic Wife with FBs except that you actually don’t love your wife at all. You’re just living with her for parenting (gotta do it “for the kids”), financial, religious, cultural or legal reasons. It’s strictly a marriage of convenience. You actually have a full-on girlfriend (OLTR) on the side who you love or at least have strong feelings for, and you’re pair bonded to her instead of your pretend wife.
This model is complicated and takes a lot of work. It requires a man with a supreme level of confidence, a higher drama tolerance, and likely a higher income, since it often also requires you to spend a lot of money on hotels and/or a second residence.
Upsides: Love, co-habitation, social acceptance, decent amount of sex, children if you want them.
Downsides: Less freedom, much more drama, more legal/financial risks, increased difficulty with logistics regarding having sex with side-women, have to deal with drama from both your wife and your OLTR on a regular basis, often costs more money, going to very likely get a divorce later that will screw up your finances.
In the next article in this series, I will cover the different types of Alpha Male 2.0 men. Stay tuned.
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Suggested model:
12. “The Harem”
Guy lives with 2-3 wifes. Maybe best described as OLTR (main wife) plus 1-2 MLTR (second/3rd wife).
Guy has children with all of them. The legal implications may be a bit complicated but if legal marriage is avoided might be manageable. Drama would be a bit higher but not that much higher if the girls know their place and accept it.
It seems difficult at first glance to get this going but for the islamic world (and they are many!) this seems to work.
What do you think?
4x-9x the drama is what I think and no, those figures aren’t typo’s, the drama would be exponential, not linear. Imagine when they all sync… I hope you enjoy solo camping trips.
Done all of these. 5 is alot of work with a live in OLTR, it’s basically like having a second job. Currently doing 6/9, have done 7.
This I do disagree with, firstly ‘expensive’ is subjective, how much do you value your time that you could be spending making more money? But I know you already know this and would agree. So I understand that you mean for the average guy on a fixed salary, yes, it’s expensive.
However, an ongoing unpaid relationship IS possible for both SB’s and escorts. Escorts and SB’s can become MLTR‘s (probably not so much FB‘s), you’re simply swapping out a financial incentive for an emotional one.
Furthermore you can find ‘SB’s’ who don’t want payment, just a fun experience, however this turns it more into a dating scenario from the start (so 2-3 nice dates etc.), if all you want is to get them into bed within an hour of meeting AND want them to keep coming back, you’re probably paying. These girls CAN be turned into MLTR‘s later though.
I’ve noticed you saying this throughout your books and blog. I can tell you that having a live in OLTR/Wife and trying to keep a pure FB on the side for any length of time is quite difficult, simply because the girls know there’s no future, that it will never turn into anything more.
So really, in my experience, they really sort of have to be between an FB and an MLTR to keep them happy. By this I mean there is a little bit of emotional investment, so they feel like they’re not just being used.
So you don’t lead them on at all, but be a Clayton’s boyfriend, the BF they have when they don’t want a BF. In this way the relationship is equally beneficial to both parties and the fact that you’re already taken becomes a selling point, she get’s a guy to keep her company and play BF/GF with occasionally without any chance of him becoming too clingy or expecting something more, and you get a side girl without her becoming too clingy or expecting something more, that’s fair.
Until friends and family members find out, which will happen, then it’s the total opposite of social acceptance. Even in a big city it’s inevitable, you can’t do the sort of volume you need to be doing on the dating sites (or cold approaching) to find a side girl without someone you know noticing sooner or later. If you live in a different city to most of your family and friends though, it’s probably possible.
I’m surprised to see options dependent on prostitutes in this list. If anything they will inherently lead a man away from the path of self-improvement as an Alpha 2.0 due to the lack of any need for game, management of drama or any other social aspects. Don’t forget that a man’s sex drive, properly harnessed, is not merely a demon to be sated but part of the will to power which makes him successful in all areas of life.
Perhaps Beta 2.0 is the right list for the mongers.
Funny enough, I have an MLTR that would be the female equivalent of 11. Platonic Wife with Side OLTR. So Platonic Husband with side OLTR
She lives with her “husband” but they are essentially roommates and have not had sex in years. She stays because of the lifestyle it affords them both to have. She has OLTR potential if she eventually splits with him since she is aware of my open relationship style and doesn’t care who I fuck on the side. She has called me her “boyfriend” and some people in her circle are aware of our arrangement. I started as an FB to her then became more.
The funny part is many of her friends dislike me, saying I’m a “man-whore” and have even called her a whore. Yet this girl is the happiest she’s been in years with me. They occasionally get in her head though and she starts drama-is that pretty common in your experiences as well? The friends hating on you and trying to poison the relationship? I know it’s mainly petty jealousy on their part since the worst offenders have no guys in their life.
Theoretical and KJ (outside of parts of Muslim world). The models I’m discussing here are real-life models already followed by real-life men, not theoretical.
And Wolf is right. As I’ve said before, polygamy (multiple wives, multiple children with multiple wives) would be a living nightmare of drama hell, only for extremely high-drama men. No thank you.
Correct. Perhaps “costs lots of money” would have been more accurate. I’m writing to the public here, trying to appeal to men of all income ranges. I do the best I can with my wording.
1. Only after paying them thousands of dollars, which you yourself have once admitted. That’s not my definition of “unpaid.”
2. I didn’t say it was impossible. I very specifically said it was virtually impossible. Of course anything is possible. 2% Rule.
Correct and I said that above in the article. If you want FBs on the side you’ll going to have to plan in advance on them leaving, often within a few months (LSFNTE), and having to replace them on a regular basis.
There is no such thing as “between an FB and MLTR.” You have romantic (beyond close friendship) feelings and actions for a woman, or you do not. It’s binary.
If you want actual feelings (beyond close friendship) and dating with side-women, then either you’re lying to your OLTR (which I do not recommend and consider a form of cheating, which guarantees future drama) or your OLTR-wife is aware of it and allows it and is thus not a true OLTR per my definitions. (She’s more like the Platonic Wife with Side OLTR.)
I agree. I do not think having sex with only paid prostitutes over long period of time is a good idea. Yet I have to admit it “works” for many men under an Alpha 2.0 model.
As I said in the article, some of these models I personally dislike. Doesn’t matter. We’re not talking about what’s best for me personally or you personally or game; we’re talking about what falls under the 2.0 model set.
11. Platonic Wife with Side OLTR
I personally know a guy, a close acquaintance in his early 60s, who’s been living under this model for at least 20 years. It’s extremely bizarre, because both his women know about each other. Of course he’s got two houses and some kind of system to see them on a weekly basis.
The funniest part is when he’s got to take them o social gatherings. For work is one of them…anything else is the official “wife”. Don’t know, seems like a lot of trouble to live like that.
I’ve done 1 and 2. Both look like the best option for guys in my age range (30-40), who are too busy pursuing their missions, don’t like escorts/sugar babes and are not ready yet to have an OLTR.
Not everything has to fit into a perfectly categorized system. You can have a side girl who you have some feelings for, but less than what you feel for your wife/OLTR, so ok, maybe you can call it a ‘close friendship’.
You can still take her out on dates, you’ll go out for drinks with close friends for example, so there’s no real difference. The only difference might be that you never pay for a close friend, but then if your close friend was a young, broke student you might. If the girls were my age with a job etc. I’d expect it to be 50/50, which, surprise, surprise, rarely happens… It also goes without saying you’re going to be the one paying for hotels if she can’t host (unless you’ve struck gold).
All reasons why it’s better to date much younger girls on the side anyway, if you’re paying for this stuff it’s more reassuring to know that she couldn’t even if she wanted to. Usually any girl willing to split dates 50/50 is sizing you up for an LTR, as soon as they know you’re married that possibility is off the table, so they’ll expect you to pay, no matter what they earn (again, unless you’ve struck gold).
Your wife/OLTR can know about it and allow it so you’re not lying at all (her biggest complaint will probably be that someone she/you know might see you), and the wife/OLTR doesn’t have to be platonic at all, if you have more feelings for your wife/OLTR, prioritize her over any other girl, and are still having sex, then it’s not platonic.
Correct, but that doesn’t change a word I just said. To repeat, you have romantic (beyond close friendship) feelings and actions for a woman, or you do not. It’s binary.
If you have feelings for your side-women that surpass close friendship, which means there is some kind of romantic connection/interaction with them, then either you’re not being 100% honest about this with your OLTR wife, or you are, and your wife really doesn’t mind, which means your OLTR relationship has more of a polyamorous flavor to it. (Which is fine. Each to their own.)
If you don’t have feelings for your side women and it’s just close friendship and that’s it, then you’re in a true-blue OLTR as I describe. If you’re actually taking these women out on dates, spending money on them, etc, then I trust you will probably be fine since you have an extremely high level of game and frame. When you’re at this kind of hyper-advanced level, you can break a few rules. Regardless, I would never recommend men in the public at large do such a thing.
The #1 option is probably the best option if you live in a big city of close to two million or more. I live in a metro area just shy of 600k, in a flyover state that is quite closed minded in comparison to more liberal areas. Being a guy with many acquaintances in a city this small makes dating multiple women a little challenging, but still possible.
The only complaint that I have regarding the possibility of maximizing the 2.0 lifestyle is I attend college and would like to game women there on the regular, but with the rape culture at full force this is damn near impossible. If I pick up a woman on campus and start dating her, I can’t keep gaming other women for fear that the girl I’m dating will find out and suddenly feel regretful for “falling” for me and then make some wild accusation out of scorn/spite even if there was no promise of exclusivity. Then there is the issue that I am a 37 year old man talking to VYM on campus, which makes it seem like I’m some sort of predator. Oh well, I’ll just have to settle for the current situation.
My ideal would be to live in different cities so I can take advantage of the many opportunities the big city has to offer. I have to at least stay part time in the small city due to my daughter and much of my family and friends being here, but the idea of having mltrs in different cities seems very appealing. Maybe even two OLTR/live in OLTRs like POB mentioned, I just have to stack some cash to make that happen. Regarding the fuck buddies, I don’t know how some of you do it. I have to have an emotional connection in order to have and enjoy sex with a woman.
Hi. I have followed your blog for many months. I enjoy reading your posts. You often talk about beta males and alpha males. I would like to know your thoughts and opinions regarding the concept of the Sigma male in a future post. Best regards
Aren’t “Sigma” and “Alpha 2.0” one and the same?
Alpha Male 2.0 is a type of Sigma male.
The reason I don’t use Vox Day’s definitions of alpha, beta, gamma, lamda, sigma, etc is not because I disagree with them. It’s because they’re too complicated to easily remember for most people, especially new readers, and bloggers like myself already waste enough time dealing with reading comprehension problems from readers and commenters. Gotta keep things simple and straightforward.
They share some similarities, but the major difference is that sigmas tend to disassociate themselves with common social/power hierarchies. So while they usually find the same level of success that alphas do, the path taken toward that success is typically very different from the alpha.
Additionally, you don’t usually find sigmas leading a social group. They can do it, but tend to choose not to.
Women find both alphas and sigmas attractive, but for different reasons. Intelligent and dominant women usually love sigmas, while “normal” women often to find sigmas weird or strange until they get to know them better.
I too would be interested in more material on sigmas (we’re a lonely group ;)).
Would an ‘OLTR + FFM threesomes’ be another type? (or a different version of the swinger couple)
If you had a girlfriend or wife, and you’re only allowed to fuck other women during a threesome with her, then yes, that’s more of a swinger couple. “Threesome monogamy” is essentially a type of monogamy.
@BD: in the case of a low sex drive man who will be fucking women on the side mostly to avoid betaization and not because he has much desire to fuck someone other than his current girl, how often should he do that ? Is there some kind of cutoff point/frequency that will send the girl the message that he’s definitely nonmonogamous ?
(I’m assuming I understood you correctly: that fucking on the side is necessary even for those with low urges because not doing it betaizes you and skyrockets the drama yu get)
Yes. The general rule of thumb is that you enter the danger zone if you don’t have sex with anyone else for 30 days. At about 40 days, in my opinion, you’re de facto monogamous. Then say hello to all the usual problems.
The drama doesn’t skyrocket; it slowly encroaches, until a few months later you’re in the typical mid or high-drama relationship and you don’t know why.
By the way, a low sex drive man is going to have a difficult time living the Alpha Male 2.0 life. In my anecdotal experience, low sex drive men tend to be less aggressive, more submissive, and more beta, often putting up with more drama and crap from not only women they date, but often friends, family members, and co-workers as well (possibly testosterone related).
My dating/relationship/Alpha 2.0 advice assumes the reader has a typical masculine sex drive. If you have to push yourself to have sex for completely nonsexual reasons, it’s going to be a hard road for you.
I’ve had insomnia (more accurately discontinuous sleep and great difficulty falling asleep) for over seven years, and it wrecks my energy levels and to some extent my sex drive. I know that the “real” me is super horny because the occasional good night + zinc supplementation do raise my sex drive, but when I’m sleep deprived, I lose the drive to try and date more than 1 woman at a time. I’m trying to choose a relationship pattern that might work for me temporarily until I have my sleep fixed and transition to your MLTR/FB model.
Harem is a place…