Special treat today. This is yet another example of a guy who completely turned his life around using Alpha Male 2.0. ELT was a fat, poor, sexless, Mexican beta male. Today he’s fit, strong, 85 pounds lighter, getting all the sex he wants, and has his own Alpha 2.0 location-independent business making ten times what he used to make.
He is one of many success stories about how you can go from lower-beta to full-fledged Alpha 2.0 (and ELT is modest) if you just put in a little time up-front. But I’ll let him tell you in his words. Take it away, ELT…
How I Turned My Life Around
By ELT
Hey, I’m ELT, and BD has invited me to write a guest post here. This opportunity feels surreal—when I first discovered this blog years ago, I never imagined I would ever be featured on it.
So, when he asked me to tell my story, I was at a loss. “What would his readership find interesting about me?” I thought. Then I realized that every day there’s a new heartbroken guy who finds this blog and feels he will never be at BD’s level. That was me too.
So, if you deeply believe there’s nothing you can do to turn your life around, this is for you.
Why can you trust me? Because if a fat, shy, pussy-whipped, poor, Mexican nobody like me could do it, why couldn’t you?*
*No, being Mexican is not a disadvantage.
So where to start? “From the beginning,” my father used to say.
How it all began
Four years ago, I had been in a relationship with a girl, I found very attractive at first, but over the years I got overweight and very dramatic. I was not any better myself —250 lb, awful-looking, super-insecure, and in a shitty job after a useless time in college.
We truly loved each other, and we understood each other very well too. We had been together for almost five years by then and for a while I thought the time would come to propose to her. After all, that’s what everyone wants, isn’t it?
Does this sound familiar?
But something didn’t click. Deep inside, I knew I was not happy. I was very logical about it.
“How can I be happy with someone that’s giving me drama all the time? How can I be happy with someone that is getting fatter every year? How can I be happy with someone who is always putting herself as a victim?”
I used to feel like crap just for looking at a girl’s butt while being with my girlfriend. But again, deep inside, I knew this attraction to other girls was not because I didn’t love her. “But it must be! A good man only has eyes for the one!” Yeah.
I internally wanted very intensely to be with other girls, while on the outside I pretended to be the nice guy I had been since my childhood.
Does this sound familiar?
This desire became so strong that I started looking for ways to have at least a date with other girls. I was very beta, and I had been out of the game for a long time, but somehow, I managed to go out with a cute girl on a semi-frequent basis.
It took me six months to even consider that if she kept going on stupid, contact-less, dates with me for that long, it was because perhaps she felt attracted to me. Maaaaybe.
So one day, after having some beers and a couple of hours listening to her bitching about her boyfriend, I went to the bathroom and I had to fucking read an article on the web to muster the courage to make a move. “Just kiss her,” the article said.
I went back to the table thinking very fearful about it. Then I just stopped thinking and boom, I kissed her. “Amazing,” I realized she hadn’t kicked me in the balls just before storming out in anger and was kissing me back instead.
Anything familiar yet?
This girl knew I was in a relationship and told me she didn’t like to share. This was a cute, thin, feminine girl, unlike my ex, so no wonder I took this as a direct order.
I still don’t know how I grew the balls to do it, but the very next day I ended the relationship with my girlfriend. And that was it… No…Drama, tears and hurt feelings were thrown all over the place. It was truly horrible. But on my way back home, in between all the pain and confusion, I felt something very powerful…
I had a choice.
This is not the typical “I loved her, and she cheated on me with half the town.” As far as I know, she never cheated, and I never found out about something heartbreaking. This was me not wanting to remain with someone I was not happy with just because society kept telling me to keep her. I chose not to settle for little.
Do I sound very confident about it? Well I am now because, believe me, after that I was a mess.
I would cry every day, not wanting to stand up from my bed. I kept communication to a minimum with her, and I pretended to be very calm when we texted, but I was feeling like shit all the time.
But here’s the interesting bit. That’s not what tipped me over, but my friends. You know, I had spent all my life only having female friends because I was raised to believe men and women were equal and can be friends just like that.
So imagine my surprise when I expected (wanted, needed) the support of my girl-only group of friends only to find out that they were hanging out frequently with my ex in support.
I was truly floored.
She became part of the group because I made a real effort to make her feel included. And most of those girls spent years talking shit about her behind her back!
It’s not that I didn’t want them supporting her (she is actually a very nice person), but why weren’t they supporting me? “After all I have done for them! Weren’t we friends?”
I went to a party with one of them and found out they had seen her the day before. As the man-child I was back then, I had a huge Flanders-like over-reaction and just left in anger. Back home, I went to my room where I began punching and screaming and cursing for hours on end. Call me pathetic all you want, but that’s the first time in my life I unleashed (upon my bed, mind you) all the anger I had accumulated for decades. It was painful and it was liberating.
I was so angry, I swore I would never put my happiness in the hands of someone else ever again.
And then I found Blackdragon.
I can’t recall how I came across this blog, but every post had ideas that were incredible to me. Looking at women’s actions instead of their words? Women communicate indirectly, so they seem to speak a different language? What do you mean I’m not independent if I’m broke and living with my mother?
But nothing like someone having the balls to tell me that everything in my life is my fault.
I swear to you, looking at that fucking bald man in the picture in that blog article made me feel something down my spine. Then I read the thing and was impressed.
They are also not your ex-girlfriend’s fault. Hey, you’re the one who made her your girlfriend. You didn’t have to do that.
Yes, it was my fault I stayed for that long and allowed her to give me that much drama; in fact, it was my fault because I was giving her a lot of drama as well. It was my fault I only had female friends because I didn’t have the balls to tell them what I really wanted. It was my fault I was so overweight. It was my fault to be heading nowhere with my life. It was my fault I had no money. It was my fault I was still living with my mother and sister at 25. And so on…
So you may assume this is when I tell you everything got resolved right away magically, NO! I began stumbling right away, as I went back with my ex just two months after breaking up. But before calling me a fraud, let me tell you that that’s the point where the struggle started.
Right off the bat, everyone could feel something had changed. And I backed that up with my actions during the last four years.
Physically, I started getting into 5 K and 10 K races. After about a year, I also hit the gym. I stopped eating for boredom too. Result? I lost about 85 lb (40 kg) in three years and I feel stronger than ever before.
Professionally, I accepted my hatred for being in an office and got an interpreting job I could do from my house. After that, I started a freelance translation business. Now I’m earning up to ten times what I used to earn in my first (and only) office gig.
This has allowed me to have the financial freedom to travel and move from my mother’s house.
Socially, I realized the importance of being around men and having true friends, so I got into a baseball team and a soccer team (more exercise!), from which I have developed some good friendships. And female friends? Yes, I’ve got some, but most can be my friends because I’ve had sex with them already so I’m not pretending anymore.
With women, I learned dating strategies like shutting up, kino and escalation, instead of talking a lot and not doing anything. You should be an asshole, but not a douchebag.
And I did all of this while still being with my ex. But I knew the relationship was holding me back. While I was doing all that stuff, she kept getting fatter, and also trying to show she was “strong” and “independent.”
I kept improving with women behind her back, and I thought it had no effect on me, until I read this…
The only way to be happy in the long-term is to do good by others.
This part from The Unchained Man made me realize that by pretending to be something I’m not, I was harming my girlfriend even if she never found out (and she never did). That was unfair to her, of course, because she was under the assumption that I was monogamous and that I wanted to have a lifetime project along with her when I actually didn’t have the balls to hurt her again by leaving her.
This time, however, life was not that kind and forced me into action when April last year my father suddenly passed after developing a very rare kind of rapidly progressive dementia. I realized I couldn’t keep pushing important action till later. What was the point?
It was still painful to let her go, combined with the loss of my father, but everything I have achieved over the last four years happened because my commitment to myself was real, not because I pretended with her to be different.
Now, I’m in a mutually-agreed non-monogamous relationship with a nice, caring, and feminine woman. Other women I’ve been with since are also generally hotter, more feminine and from a higher socioeconomic background (which in Mexico it means they are less prone to victimize themselves). And they stay around fully knowing who I am because I don’t lie to them.
Thanks to my financial improvement, I’m well on my way to fulfilling one of my lifetime dreams—going to the Olympic Games, including the Opening Ceremony and being in Tokyo for the whole event. And I’ve also got a couple of business projects that excite me and don’t require me to be sitting in a boring office.
By living on my own, everything in my home is my responsibility, so now everything in my life is my responsibility too. It can get difficult sometimes, but I feel more in control and it’s all worth it because I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, without asking permission from anyone, no matter if it’s about when I start or stop working, who I hang out with or have sex with, or even at what time I come back home.
Of course, the journey has not been perfect, but remember what I said about the struggle? Other guys in the manosphere and forging my own path have taught me that the struggle is always there, and the most important thing I’ve done is not to stop, even in the face of failure. What you make of it is your choice.
So yes, I’m still nowhere near BD’s level, but I keep moving forward. Although I don’t consider myself an Alpha yet, I’ve come a very long way. And you can too.
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I can relate to this story since just a few days ago I chose to take responsibility of my life. And yes it isn’t as easy as it seems but I have faith that in the long run it is the best choice you can make.
I liked the guest post! Would like to see more of them.
That is truly an amazing turn around! So about 1/2 way I realized he is 25 years old and 3/4ths of the of the post I realized he lives in Mexico, which is completely different economically, when your trying to make it on top financially in the US. But still a nice article. Can’t wait to see you at the Olympics!
I would love to have more of this kind of articles! It shows the effectiveness of going Alpha 2.0, which is what this blog is all about.
I loved the guest post. Like him this was sort of the end of my journey of pulling back the veil. I had started asking questions and looking online for someone who would’ve noticed the incongruities between what we’re told is the right thing to do with and around women and what women actually do. Even though I knew the truth I was still angry and struggling to figure out how this new information and my old worldview were compatible (they weren’t).
Finding Blackdragon’s blog gave me the last piece of the puzzle I needed and peace after 20 years of being clueless. I’m glad to see other people around the world like ELT benefiting from this blog.
Congrats!!
My favorite part about examples and stories like this is to recognize the aspects that I went through myself, especially on an internal level.
Hey, Kjell! I’m actually six months away from being 30 now. Back when I was 25, I used to torment myself believing that it was already too late for me. Ha!
Sure, but that does not make it any easier. The point is that anyone can do it, it doesn’t matter where you’re at the moment.
Are you going as well? It would be cool to have a “BD blog follower” meeting or something there.
Thanks!
Thanks for sharing, ELT. It’s always interesting to see which Alpha 2.0 fundamentals tend to bubble to the surface in these stories. Like you, some of my key turning points were simple, basic things like taking responsibility for everything in your life, and being completely honest with yourself and others.
Enjoy yourself at the Olympics, you certainly deserve it brother.
These kind of comments crack me up. At the age of 46, I found myself in a sexless marriage with a wife who was cheating all over the place and who held all the power in our financial relationship. I did a bit of zero sum thinking and got out.
You think the thought that “I’ve left it too late” didn’t cross my mind?
Funny thing was, when I was younger, I put a high priority on freedom and independence. I avoided marriage until mid 30s and deliberately never had children. I worked hard to develop a location independent income. When I got married, I tried to set boundaries to maintain financial independence.
But if you let your guard down, you can get betaized. You can even fool yourself into thinking it’s part of growing up, maturity, all that.
It’s never too late. In fact, you may die before you achieve all your goals. Even if that happens, you didn’t lose. You just ran out of time. It’s always worth fighting for, no matter how old you are.
@Incognito
“But if you let your guard down, you can get betaized. You can even fool yourself into thinking it’s part of growing up, maturity, all that.”
Great point here. I’m also in my 40’s now and get the “it’s all about growing up” type shaming from men and women. Not surprinsingly more so from men who of course are betaized themselves.
Yaaaaa. But it’s not growing up, it’s GIVING up. I remember reading the Carlos Castenada books, where Don Juan talks about the fourth and final enemy of man: old age. The tendency to give up and surrender. He said you can never really defeat the last enemy, you have to constantly fight it until you die.
I take heart from BD’s comments that women almost always leave men, not the other way around. Not the case with me. I was the one who made the decision. I think that shows 5hat I’d never really given up.
thank you for this tremendous value. seems branching out really helped out. taking note of that skill you already had that you turned into income. I’ve always felt I could have it all if I could get my lifestyle in order.
also thank you for that strong and independent article I didn’t see. I thought I was crazy for thinking it odd when asked to provide for a woman (financially and in the various examples described) and , while she waved unshaven legs in my face, talked about being empowered, but is also a victim etc.
Congratulations, ELT. Tiny nitpick:
I believe you meant to say “she got overweight”.
Anyway, the part about breaking up with your ex is a key point in your story, I believe. Too many people hold back from saying or doing the right thing because it will make someone sad. In reality, upsetting that person is usually the kindest thing you can do. It gives them an opportunity to face the truth and improve on themselves.
@BD
More like this, please.
To anyone reading, consider this my official call for more stories like this. If you are an ex-beta (or even ex-Alpha 1.0) who has turned his life around using Alpha 2.0, send in your story and I will consider it for publication at this blog. (No guarantees though.)
Blackdragon this article is motivational and i wish ELT only the best,but it will be great if you will do guest post with guys who have Oltrs where they talked about their relationship. Because motivational stories you see all over the internet,but this website is the only one in the manosphere where guys can learn how to have open relationship.
So it will be cool if you will do in the future guest post with guys who have oltrs or are in an open marriage,
I’m sure this is a test run to see how the traffic is with this material. It is only the beginning!
Marty already has an invitation from me to write one. Two or three other guys have expressed an interest as well and I’ve told them all to go for it. I’ll be waiting to see if any of them submit articles.
How about ex-Omegas/Incels like myself? Although I’m not where I want to be financially in Alpha 2, I’m pretty good in all the other areas, and certainly much happier than when I was a massively depressed and nihilistic omega male in my 20s. May not be like ELT’s story but I think it can help those who may feel like they can’t start doing Alpha 2 stuff and just feel trapped like I was back then.
And where do you send the submissions?
Obviously that counts as “beta.”
You can send in a submission but if you’re still poor it’s not likely I’ll choose you as a success story. Alpha 2.0 is about finances and women, not one or the other. Both are required for true masculine happiness, not one or the other.
The usual email addresses. Theonlyblackdragon @ gmail.com would work.
Well said, ELT. I’ve always wanted to move to Latin America, because the gals are hot and the guys are my height, lol.
This is a great view. Much thanks for sharing it!
Maybe this will make someone here laugh — it surely didn’t me back when it came to pass, but now I am close to finding the past me slightly amusing.
For years I believed that when you started knowing a woman and neither of you wanted things to get deep than friendship, if so was said, would be genuine.
(Laughing already?)
Time after time, this proved to be not the case — in such a mechanic, repeated, neat way that I should have realized it was not mean annoying exceptions that were occurring but instances of an inflexible rule. I lost money. I took hits to my self-esteem. The last one, who had talked “as friends” for years (years during which she had had no boyfriend) starting to send 1-word replies all of a sudden, and then let it slip that “Now I have a boyfriend” some two times. When I stopped messaging her she never messaged me. This one I had grown attached to, and the ferally hypocritical behaviour of hers took a toll on my mental and stomach health for days (some 2 weeks I would say).
Einstein made the claim that repeating the same actions expecting the result to vary is insanity. And then time to turn sane with regards with male-female “friendship” came, at length, for me.
Like so many things, it is not possible because it is not wanted.
Like so many things that are not possible because they are wanted by no-one, you hear people saying they want them all the time — this is the Rule of Inversion, a cardinal rule of human games.
The sooner you learn it, the sooner you stop letting this hurt you.
I’m also 30.
At 25, I was pretty depressed and out of shape, and thought I was already too old.
At 30, after making some big life changes and putting in the work. I feel like the fun part of my life is just getting started. It’s never too late.
Yes, that was one of the first lessons I learned back then. It might be too late for some things (like being a pro athlete, to say something), but it’s not too late to put your life back in order and make it awesome. Beleiving it’s too late is just a convenient excuse.
That’s the key right there: never give up.
Thanks, Dandy!
Yes. That’s where BD’s book made me realize I was not only avoiding damaging her, but that I was actively doing it by not having the balls to break up and deceiving her doing stuff behind her back.
Now you got me curious about its success. I hope it’s been received well!
How tall are you? I’m 6′ 1.5″ (1.87 m), so I’m considered tall here (big advantage!). If you’re looking for hot latinas in Mexico, I recommend going to the states of Sinaloa and Sonora (or the Northwest, generally). Women in central Mexico (like Mexico City) are very meeeeh-ugly.
Oh, God, absolutely been there. That of course is our fault, but is also very convenient for them to keep taking advantage. Regardless, our fault still.
I’m glad to find out I was not the only one making that silly excuse at that age.
Same (high five). I keep thinking back to Rollo’s SMV chart. Finding out that men area measured by our struggles and performance was another big turning point in my life. To reap the benefits of that chart, you need to get there yourself. I actually think that’s great, instead of unfair.
Yes, this is what I meant. Thanks!
I am struggling with turning my life around.
I have been working on it for a couple of years and I did have a lot of dates and got way better with women and banged many of them but its still no good. It’s still a lot of working getting dates (using online) and most dates fail either after first date or after 3-4 dates (sometimes including having had sex a few times).
I stopped working at the corporate job that was pissing me off and was covered financially for a while since then and still am to be covered for some more months but could not find the motivation and determination to work on my business ideas properly since then and I find it hard to have a clear direction of what I am doing and how with this.
I know with the second what I can do is find a normal job again but do it part time – I find it when I do have a schedule it is easier to work extra hours on my goals and there are some time management techniques I have not tried yet but I am not sure what else to do with the women because I already did a lot and it’s not working very well (I keep getting loads of them coming to me but they almost never stay).
I don’t know if you’re still responding to comments ELT, but was curious about something. Are the women in Mexico getting feminized like in the U.S., therefore they are more open to BD system? This is assuming you have a good idea of how it is in the U.S. I’m thinking of moving down there, but wasn’t sure if it’d be a good idea, since I’ve heard that women are conservative over there.
Ah. It’s never too late.
But you know, as strong as you are as a man, the “life blood” can be sucked out of you. It can be a corporate job (like from the movie “Office Space”), a wife that has become “progressive” and “modern”, or becomming a caretaker for a wife with a mental illness. Or, all of the above.
Eventually a man reaches his breaking point and says “enough is enough”.
Often it happens later in life. You might start to see the warning signs in your thirties, but it might be a long slow decent into catastrophe. You start to think, “well, it cannot get any worse than this”… and then it does. Then, when you are at the very bottom…
Oh, you’ll know it when you’re there. When you are at the bottom.
But being there is ok. It’s “all good” because everything can get better. And you make plans. You work at your health, your food, your manners, and your expectations.
You become the “Count of Monte Cristo”. You learn. You study. You practice. You visualize. You focus, and you turn off distractions. Then you work your plan, and never… never… never give up.
Listen to me. It’s never too late.
Hey guys, first visit here. I a 46 year old male in a marriage that is not fullfilling anymore. My wife is a sweet lady but her mother destroyed our marriage, no sex, no fun, nothing but her bitching about her mom when I wake up, at lunch at work and when I get home. I am thinking about ending it with the help of a marriage counseler. My wife is a crazy emotional lady and I fear what will ensue. She has no job and I don’t want to leave her money less but I want my own place and my own life to get back to alpha status. Any thoughts or suggestion on where to start. I have a certain level of fear about hurting her but she always tell me we are two different people who like different things. Oh, luckily, I’m a smidge under 6ft, still lean, 170 pounds and recenlty starting working out again with some dumbells in our place. Have a 100% thick full head of hair that grows like grass. So physicall I think I’m not in terrible shape. I really need some helpfull tips here are things will surely go way down hill before they can get better. I hope it’s normall to have some tripedation. I feel like I am in a helpless place an want to regain my manhood if you know what I mean. I so don’t want to hurt her but I spent 20 years doing for her and never for myself and I’m ready to be done with that. Thanks