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-By Caleb Jones
It's not that simple.
It's not just women's fault that men have these problems. It's also other men's fault. As just one example, I have said many times that if men started to flat-out refuse to EVER get married (instead of waiting until their 30s like they do now), then alimony would be abolished...by women. Women like to get married, and if men took that away from them, which we have the power to do, women would march in the streets and get things like alimony repealed so they could get married again.
Men have not chosen to do this. The stats clearly show that there is virtually no decrease in the amount of men getting married by age 40. They're certainly waiting longer to get married than in decades past, but they're still getting married. Thus, ridiculous and abusive conditions like alimony and divorce rape continue.
To demonstrate a clear example of "men are the problem too," watch the above video. In it, two actors, a man and a woman, pretend to go out on a first date to a bar. The man puts something in the woman's drink when she's away at the bathroom. Everyone else in the bar, men and women both, react with horror, and immediately confront the man in a very clear and angry way.
Then things get very interesting. The news crew plays out the exact same scenario but with the genders reversed. This time, the woman puts something in the man's drink when he's not there. Guess what? A bunch of men see her do it, but none of them say anything. The witnesses even joke about it when the couple leaves. "Haha! I can't wait to see the news tomorrow!"
The news crew couldn't believe it so they ran this test again at a different bar. Exact same result.
Isn't that nice?
At one point, one person finally does confront the woman, but it's another woman, not a man. The men just eyeball her but say nothing, letting her poison the man she's with without any objection.
Can we really say all this anti-man stuff in society is all women's fault?
Societal Programming, Again
Why do men protect women but not other men?
There is massive Societal Programming that states that the lives of men are somehow worth less than those of women and children. When a ship or plane is sinking at sea, women and children are shuttled off first. If they run out of lifeboats, us guys are supposed to suck it up and die.
Women didn't invent this stupidity. MEN did. Women also don't, as a rule, propagate this stupidity. MEN do, including both left-wing beta male white knights and even many right-wing Alpha Male 1.0s.
The sad reality is that the majority of men in modern day society actually support anti-man Societal Programming. I wish this was not the case, but it is. If men supported men just as much as they supported women, what happened in that video would never have occurred. Men wouldn't be paying alimony or be barred from seeing their own kids either.
Based on my own educated guesses of reading the stats, about 70% of men in today's Western world are beta males. "Beta" is a range of course; some of these 70% are extreme, hopeless pussies and others are somewhat confident betas, but they're still beta.
These men go along with just about all of this anti-man, woman-empowerment stuff. They laugh at all those commercials that show husbands and boyfriends as stupid buffoons. They think alimony is a good idea, or at least don't question it. They agree with videos like this. They make hundreds of "OMG you're so beautiful!" comments on every pic a girl posts on Facebook or Instagram. They turn into whiny bitches when women dump them.
And so the cycle continues.
I have also estimated that another 25% or so of men are Alpha Male 1.0s. Thankfully, Alphas don't agree with most of this SP bullshit at all, and that's great. The problem is most Alpha 1.0s (not all, but most) do go along with, and thus reinforce, many societal feminine models. These include things like legal marriage (with no prenup), paying for fancy dates, waiting three or more dates with no sex, paying women's bills (even if not serious), long-term monogamy (at least promising it and pretending to follow it, even if not actually doing it), and many other feminine models.
And so the cycle continues.
This is why to point the finger at women (or feminists) is a gross, and in some cases harmful oversimplification. Yes, women are a problem, but men are a problem too. Men could put a stop to this shit if they really wanted to, but they don't. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Men in society could cure 90% of this societal anti-man garbage in five years or less if they just stopped acting like little bitches (betas) or territorial daddies (Alpha 1.0s). Do they have any intention on doing this? Not really.
And so the cycle continues...
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S 2015-06-15 05:36:10
Very true; it reminds of that old saying; "I have seen the enemy and he is us".
S 2015-06-15 05:53:48
I looked at video what strikes me most is that the behaviour of the Men is indicative of a low trust society. Add in generous helpings of envy and schadenfreude and the result is truely awful.
Tony 2015-06-15 06:04:22
The biggest problem is that there's defacto censorship of manosphere ideas. If I were to post one of your articles on Facebook, even a very tame one, people would get pissed at me. I'd have friends and family angry at me for posting something written by you, even if the article had greatly improved my life. So a lot of guys don't see ideas like this. And even if they do see a manosphere idea, they're so beta that they dismiss it out of hand because it's from those crazy PUA guys who neg and stuff (you can always tell when people haven't really read about PUA or red pill stuff when they focus on negging). Then again, a lot of manosphere guys are doing a disservice in this area by being so extreme in their views. It's too easy to dismiss them when they have such obvious anti-woman views.
Mih 2015-06-15 06:43:34
I always blame the party that goes against their own interest. I can see how women would find alimony, "women and children first" and "you never hit a woman" rules as noble and just, because they are in their own interest. But for men who support these ideas i don't have any respect and am glad when bad things happen to them. It is important however to understand the rules by which my society functions to know how to navigate its pitfalls (disagreements with women in the workplace that feel entitled to stuff just because they are women, laws regarding palimony or other crazy and evil stuff).
RecepH 2015-06-15 07:48:55
True and true. The fewer men competing, the higher the chances of scoring for me. I would want: - more men turning gay - fewer men accumulating money - fewer men rising in status - fewer good looking men around - fewer men around who know game
jrm 2015-06-15 08:02:42
This is all so true. I've always thought men shouldn't open doors for women as we're the leader, we go through first.
Troubadour 2015-06-15 08:31:44
Jesus. I watched about 11 seconds of that video, and I felt an itch between my legs, and I was actually starting to grow a vagina down there. To my relief, I finally realized it was just a dingleberry.
CrabRangoon 2015-06-15 08:32:05
Damn BD I was trying to repress the memory of the "Dear Woman" video...it's hard to believe it's even real at first but then I remember that, as you stated, about 70% of men are beta. I go between laughter and nausea when watching it.
josh 2015-06-15 10:12:51
@CrabRangoon Don't forget this video antidote to that: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLRu6PJtRv4
Read “Men Are Against Men Too” | Unmasking Feminism 2015-06-15 10:30:41
[…] This post is really, really good. “Men are against men too”. Yup, that needed said. It plays out daily and especially in the mircro levels of the manosphere. Read the post in full, especially the experiment detailed in the beginning. […]
CrabRangoon 2015-06-15 12:26:23
@josh Thanks for the remedy-I do remember thee guys putting together the parody. Awesome stuff. The sad thing is today, many far lefties expect that we apologize for those no longer alive to apologize.
Blackdragon 2015-06-15 13:04:30
The biggest problem is that there’s defacto censorship of manosphere ideas. If I were to post one of your articles on Facebook, even a very tame one, people would get pissed at me. I’d have friends and family angry at me for posting something written by you, even if the article had greatly improved my life. So a lot of guys don’t see ideas like this.Yup. People would rather live in sometimes-happy, sometimes-painful delusion than accept hard truths.
Then again, a lot of manosphere guys are doing a disservice in this area by being so extreme in their views. It’s too easy to dismiss them when they have such obvious anti-woman views.That too. It makes it harder to get the important messages across.
The fewer men competing, the higher the chances of scoring for me.
I would want:
– more men turning gay
– fewer men accumulating money
– fewer men rising in status
– fewer good looking men around
– fewer men around who know game
Haha! I more or less agree. That's one of the reasons it's very hard for me to get worried about "society." Pussy betas and angry 1.0s are actually helping me live a really great life.
The good news is that this stuff gets better as you get older, because the quality of competition for woman really drops off really fast.
I'm still amazed at how easy it is for me to get laid at age 43 just by staying Alpha, including with younger/hotter women. It's because I have near-zero competition at this point. The VAST majority of the men in my age group are betas, or fat, or balding, or married, or white knights, or lonely, or needy, or super demanding, or dress like dorks, or have horrible game, or have low testosterone, or look "old," or...well, you get the point.
Young/hot women on first dates with me are shocked at how attractive I am (not physically, but overall as a man) as compared to other men my age they've met or been on dates with.
You have a lot more competition when you're younger, but if you stay Alpha as you age, the world really is your oyster.
Al 2015-06-15 15:40:39
Looks like you have nailed it again BD. The word "pragmatist" comes to mind. Interesting that this whole situation needs to change, for the betterment of men AND women but for it to do so, it means the competition for Alpha 2.0s would also necessarily rise. Then, we have the mix of different behaviours exhibited by men and women based on their views moulded by SP and current thinking. My favorite lady, best looking, best in bed etc., just LOVES me opening the car door etc. (Yes, we do go out now and again.) "Gentlemanly" behaviour turns her on quite literally, which benefits me, so I act the gentleman. Another one HATES any kind of door opening stuff and says it is "controlling". Still, ho hum and all that. 🙂
Kryptokate 2015-06-15 18:30:06
Men are certainly their own worst enemy. I can't think of a time that I've ever seen men band together to advance their collective interests the way that women occasionally do. I can't count how many times I've heard a man say "I can't stand [fill in the blank of a group of people -- hipsters, white people, religious people, people from New Jersey, whatever] people, they're the worst. But the women aren't too bad. I don't mind them so much." Most men do NOT like other men who aren't in their tribe. Almost all men men also vastly overestimate and exaggerate in their own minds the level of aggression that "other" men enact towards women. Most men think of "other" men (i.e. not their friends and family) as dangerous and untrustworthy and with bad intentions, like all other men are potential rapists. Guys will warn other men to stay away from their daughters/dates/sisters/friends, under some kind of delusion that there are tons of rapists out there, when really it is the women's choice when they decide to hook up with these men 99.999% of the time, and truly involuntary sex is vanishingly rare. But I think men are even more paranoid and willing to believe melodramatic stories about the likelihood of rape than women. Most men also vastly underestimate how passive, submissive, sweet, caring, non-aggressive, and generally considerate and kind other men actually are to the women they are with or trying to get with. Because don't admit their submissive or non-alpha behavior to other men, and generally only do it in private. They don't admit to other men when they feel like a woman uses them for sex, or dumps them, or anything else that doesn't feel "masculine" to them. They will tell women these things, but not other men, so guys often have a very skewed idea of how beta other guys are. This is why guys say things like "women love jerks"...because they don't realize that the supposed "jerk", who may act dominant and asshole-ish with other guys, is a super sweet puppy dog who cries and writes love poetry when he's with women. Getting laid a lot does not make one a jerk, and I guarantee that any guy who gets lots of women is NOT being rude or mean when he's with them. The fact that men have a seemingly ingrained suspicion and bias against other men allows women to manipulate men easily and gain their sympathy and assistance. I have a hard time believing a lot of rape claims, and that's because unless one is truly isolated or incapacitated, there are always 50 men willing to come to your rescue for every 1 man who is truly willing to attack you. So women manipulate and take advantage of male mistrust/dislike for each other. But male dislike for each other is the primary culprit behind most of men's problems, not the women who then manipulate it to their advantage. BD is right that men could *easily* get rid of most the the problems they complain about if they just collectively decided to do so. Most prefer to compete with each other and then engage in indignation-masturbation sessions with straw-men enemies. The manosphere points the arrow of blame at women because it knows that it's audience can't handle the truth since they're afraid of their real enemy. Women are weaker and men can still believe they might beat them. If they have to face their real enemy (other men), they can't deal with it. Just look at how common racism, anti-Semitism, and paranoid delusions about the illuminati are on most manosphere sites like Roosh's...just shows how deep down those guys are petrified of other men.
Blackdragon 2015-06-15 21:10:53
Just look at how common racism, anti-Semitism, and paranoid delusions about the illuminati are on most manosphere sites like Roosh’s…just shows how deep down those guys are petrified of other men.Yeah, sadly we get a few of those guys here occasionally too.
jay 2015-06-16 06:46:11
@Blackdragon The mistakes the conspiracies theorist make generally is that of a form of paradulia of which they assume intent that which can be explained by incompetence or that people need not even conspire together to achieve the impact that they are seeing solely by imbibing and living out the same ideology or set of memes.
gl 2015-06-16 08:40:58
what paradulia means? google aint helpfull on that.
Tshandy 2015-06-16 18:38:58
He meant 'pareidolia'
Al 2015-06-16 18:51:57
Getting laid a lot does not make one a jerk, and I guarantee that any guy who gets lots of women is NOT being rude or mean when he’s with them.100% correct. My friends give me the best of themselves and they deserve to get the best back. I give the best that I can. Whatever "relationship" that two adults choose to get into, unless there is respect, I think it's all pretty meaningless and the quality of the sex suffers as a result. Kate, your contributions (I was looking here recently) are really very useful and well thought out. Thank you.
SteinK. 2015-06-17 05:18:46
Yes. The double-standard in the woman's favor. It's cool to print the #kill all men hashtag on twitter. It's unacceptable violence to create and have a kill all women hashtag on twitter. It's skinny pale computer socially weak nerds who sit at their laptops 7 days a week. It's the fat ugly girl who got promoted to a manager job who spews all this feminist bs about how women should rule the world. It's the aging party girls who are too old to go to every club now (who once would of never dreamed of feminism because she was far too busy playing with hearts of 50 different male orbiters by stringing these guys along for the different advantages they provide her) who post feminist bs selfies on instagram and quotes on twitter just so they can relive their glory days of attention seeking when they were once long ago the top 10 hottest girls inside the clubs. And the media campaign of lies continues in the news, and online. Real men who speak up in the censored media are bashed right in their faces instantly. How's that for double standards, huh?
Bob 2015-06-21 17:59:27
BD, a lot of what you write on this blog makes sense, but it can also lead to bitterness and resentment towards women (and even men). I know that's not your intention, and I would appreciate your thoughts on how to reconcile these feelings.
Blackdragon 2015-06-21 19:45:02
BD, a lot of what you write on this blog makes sense, but it can also lead to bitterness and resentment towards women (and even men). I know that’s not your intention, and I would appreciate your thoughts on how to reconcile these feelings.I can't speak for anyone else, but I have no resentment towards women whatsoever and never have. 95% of women out in the real world are good people operating based on what they (incorrectly) think will bring them happiness. I accept women for the flawed yet wonderful creatures they are. BTW, I have no resentment towards men either.
It-Began 2015-06-22 10:57:12
Bob asks if BD how he deals with the feelings of bitterness towards women which may unwittingly result from his blog. I believe this question points to the beginnings of Bob's awakening consciousness. When the truth hits us smack in the face, we are not going to smile at how we've been duped all along. And this can easily lead us to react with emotion. BD's blog is a lot more elevated from this type of basic but natural response. It helps many of us to navigate life's challenges at a more dispassionate, more rational, more outcome independent level than is commonplace. I also love Krypto's comments on the reasons men are so anti-men. Very spot on, and it reminds me of an important book by Esther Villar called the Manipulated man.
Susan 2015-10-16 22:20:19
Isn't it possible that what is witnessed in the video is due to bystander effect? The bystander effect, or bystander apathy, is a social psychological phenomenon that refers to cases in which individuals do not offer any means of help to a victim when other people are present. Most people will like to think and fantasize that they will be the hero, but no...that's not the norm at all and I just can't tribute that to something like the not recognized by any science Alpha and Beta man thing. True story: I heard what I thought was the sound of gunfire outside of my house not all that long ago. I went outside to see what was happening and saw that our neighbor's front yard was on fire. I experienced zero thought beyond, with panic, the desperate need to find out if anyone might be in the fire. Our neighbor was. He was sitting in an area of dirt surrounded by flames, burned and well, unaware. The sound I heard was the popping of the electrical lines and they continued to pop and shoot sparks. I ran across the street without hesitation yelling to our other neighbors for help. Luckily one called 911 as I continued to scream, "He's in there! He's in there!," and began trying to make my way to him. He is a large man (he is alive) and there was no way I could pick him up (5'5", 118 compared to tall and big). After screaming more for help, one male neighbor finally came. Together, we got him out. Why with so many men around was the only one to react me? A somewhat small and vyw. And do you know what? When the good news of our neighbor's survival came to the neighborhood, the man was recognized for saving my neighbor's life. Not me. I didn't speak up or complain because truly the best thing was the fact that he was alive...3rd degree burns over more than 50% of his body. It bothered me, but I want to get to a place where it doesn't...because recognition in the light of something like someone not being killed is not a big deal. I have not been programmed by society to do this...in fact I think the general norm would have me boast and brag. I didn't say anything because I desire my ego not to have power over me and what I decide I want to do. Anyway, do we then decide all the neighbors are Beta Males? Would an Alpha 2 even bother to try to help? Maybe it takes an Alpha 1 to be that exceptional...I guess I'm an Alpha 1. I will now go outside to pound my chest while I howl at the moon. And men, if you don't want to get married then don't. You are the one that usually asks. Even Blackdragon probably asked (didn't I read that you are divorced?). Even if it's the ex who did the asking, you agreed. Why, men? Yes, why do you do these things and then complain? Is it not what you really think or believe but rather the crowd effect? You know, need to belong to the group so complain about women and relationships just like the other supposed Alpha males, hoping that will be the entry ticket to the Alpha male crowd (which isn't scientifically real). Again, this is not disrespectful. I believe these are valid thoughts and questions.
Felix 2016-03-02 09:07:23
Holy crap. One of three and a woman comes to the guy's rescue. Well, now I know not to trust other men because they will fuck you over. I am shocked that all those guys just sat there like little bitches and didn't say anything. That a woman had more balls and sense of right and wrong than all those other "men." Good grief.