The Real Reason Women Demand Monogamy From You

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The reason women want monogamy from you has nothing to do with sex. They’re going to say it does, but it doesn’t—it’s something much worse.

A strong percentage of non-monogamous Alpha Male 2.0s support monogamy and like the concept of it. They would completely agree to monogamy under certain conditions. And a lot of you have written to me over the years talking about why you would prefer monogamy but are practicing non-monogamy anyway.

One guy in my YouTube audience left this comment, and I’m going to modify it just a little bit for the sake of clarity: “Every time I thought I met a girl I thought I could be monogamous with, she very shortly after proved me wrong, either by leaving me, refusing sex, not having enough time for sex, and so on. I would agree to monogamy if there was some guarantee the woman would never leave me, never say no to sex, always be available to do it on short notice, and give me at least three to six months’ notice if she wanted to change this arrangement. I haven’t met a single woman who would even be willing to promise something like this. And then they are surprised when the man wants to keep his options open.”

This is a comment that has been repeated by a lot of other guys. When a woman demands monogamy from you, you are at her mercy. She controls your entire sex life. I’ve talked about this a million times: it’s not just that you’re monogamous; she also has the right to say no and be unavailable to you, which means you don’t get laid at all.

If you read that comment above and think it’s ridiculous—and certainly, a lot of women would—I’m about to show you why you are ridiculous. What he’s saying might sound ridiculous, but as we go, I’ll explain why it’s not.

As I’ve described before, men’s and women’s sexual cycles are completely different. Men are horny pretty much all the time; of course, there are exceptions. Women, however, are horny when they’re horny. When they’re not, they’re perfectly fine and they don’t need to have sex. Does that describe most men? No. So men follow a very different model about how important sex is.

Men have gone on to say that if a woman could promise she would never say no to sex or make them go a very long time, then they’d be OK with monogamy, wouldn’t cheat, and would legitimately commit. And I believe these guys when they say this. But when you commit to monogamy, that’s when she starts saying no to sex. Monogamy is a fundamentally unfair system, and it’s unfair for the reasons I covered earlier: Generally speaking, men value regular sex more than women do, so women can say no.

Now, if what I’ve just described sounds ridiculous—some kind of guarantee that a woman will never say no to sex—here’s why you’re being ridiculous.

If a woman won’t agree to that, she has just proven to you that the desire for sexual exclusivity from a man has nothing to do with sex. If it was just about sex, she would say, “Of course, that makes perfect sense.”

Here’s an example. I did a video a while back in which a man tells a woman, “A man has $10 million and a woman has $200 in her checking account. They want to get married, and he wants her to sign a prenup.” There are plenty of women today who would agree that a prenup makes sense under those circumstances. That tells you she’s not there because she needs to control your life, but for other reasons. 

My wife, Pink Firefly, has signed multiple binding contracts to that effect; if we break up/get divorced, she doesn’t get any of my money. She also lets me have sex with other women. That tells you she’s not there because she wants to control me. Yes, she’s still a wife, so there are little pieces of that that still come out every so often; no one is perfect. But you get my point. She’s cool with these things because she wanted to be with me for reasons unrelated to control.

So if you pitch to a woman that you’ll be monogamous if she’ll agree to these things and she balks, she is telling you the reason she wants to be sexually exclusive with you isn’t about sex. She’d agree to something similar if it wasn’t about control.

Women will not admit this. They’ll try to say it’s about other things—STDs, getting women pregnant, and so forth—but that’s a smokescreen. She wants sexual exclusivity from you so she can control you and your dick.

If a woman doesn’t want to have sex with you, she has every right to say no. I tell every woman I’m with, including my wife, that if they don’t want to have sex with me, say so. They’ll get no argument or anger from me; I’ll just go have sex with someone else.

At the same time, men have the right to say no to monogamy. It’s only fair that if you get to say no to sex—and you do—then I get to go fuck the hot 27 year-old receptionist down the street. Women are all about “fairness,” and this is fair. What’s not fair is controlling your sex life by saying no to you and then refusing to let you have sex elsewhere.

That’s why monogamy isn’t about sex in most cases. It’s about control.

The fact that there’s a decent segment of my Alpha Male 2.0 audience that would do monogamy if not for the fact that they’d encounter all these problems proves to you that women are not being clear-thinking and fair about this. If they were cool to just the sexual aspect of it, they would agree to terms like these. But have you ever heard of a Western woman agreeing to anything like that? Because most men are betas who agree to this horseshit. But women get away with this because men have one-itis and let them.

One other quick point about this: When you are non-monogamous, women don’t say no to sex. I have been married to my wife for three years; we’re going into our seventh year as a couple, and she rarely says no to sex. When she says no, it’s surprising; it just doesn’t happen much. Most men out there who are traditionally monogamously married for more than three years will experience their wives saying no to sex all the time. That’s what monogamy creates. For an Alpha Male 2.0, it’s a completely different story.