Manosphere Activism
This is one of those “prepare to be pissed off” posts. It’s honestly not my intention to piss you off, at least not today; I’m writing this because I get asked about this a lot, and I need a place to link to that fully describes my position on this.
Today I’m going to describe what I think is probably the largest philosophical difference between myself and many of my brothers in the manosphere, both with PUA (pickup artists) and MRA (men’s rights activists).
Obviously I agree with at least 90% of the primary stances of the men’s rights movement and the greater manosphere, at least as much as could be said of such a thing, since the manosphere includes extremely different viewpoints. Within the manosphere there are rabidly anti-marriage guys and guys who are strongly pro-marriage. There are angry slut shamers and crazy slut lovers. There are pro-sex PUAs and anti-sex MGTOWs. The manosphere is certainly a place of extremes. That’s part of what makes it interesting.
Regardless, I agree with the basics, that men get a raw deal with it comes to marriage and child custody, that women often have a sense of financial entitlement from men, that women don’t really mean it when they want everything to be truly “equal”, etc, etc. I’ve discussed all of those topics on this blog before.
Today I’m going to talk about the more activist component of the manosphere. I’m specifically talking about those men who think it’s very important that we create movements or awareness to fight against…well…it depends on the guy. Feminists, leftists, beta males, whatever. The enemy often varies, but many in the manosphere strongly believe we must stand up and fight these groups, on the internet and in real life.
My opinion on this gets a little complicated so I’m going to start from the beginning.
The Battle Has Already Been Fought, And We Lost
Without getting into pages and pages of examples and specifics (much of which I have already talked about on this blog, as have many other manosphere guys), it is my contention that men in society, or at least Alpha Males, have already “lost”. All the forces of “evil” that men in the manosphere hate, be they beta males, feminists, left-wingers, right-wingers, political correctness, the government, or women in general, have already “won”. The battle has already taken place and has come to a conclusion.
You cannot win a war, or a battle, that is already over and has already been won.
I’m going to double down on this. What I’m about to say I’ve said before, but this time I’m going to be very clear. It is my contention that Western civilization has already collapsed. That’s right, it’s already happened.
You cannot save something that has already collapsed.
Why then, are we not living in some kind of Mad Max wasteland, stockpiling bullets and canned beans in the desert, if Western civilization has “collapsed” like I contend it has?
Because Western civilization a) is very big and b) was very successful. Something this vast doesn’t collapse in a day, or a year, or even over several years. As I’ve said before, Western civilization will likely take several decades to fully collapse. It may not be until the 2040s or 2050s before it’s all gone the way of the dinosaur.
Moreover, just because Western civilization collapses does not mean the world collapses, or white people collapse, or that the United States or Europe will collapse. All of these things many manosphere guys worry about will likely still be around even after Western civilization is gone. They will simply look very, very different than they do today. (I predict that the United States in particular will be unrecognizable by the 2040s compared to what it is now.)
Technological advances, some very exciting ones, will still be invented and good things will still happen. Standards of living will increase in various parts of the world, particularly Asia and China, which will rule the 21st century the way the United States ruled most of the 20th.
It’s just that the image of the 1950s-ish guy-fantasy so many men in the manosphere fight for will be long, long gone. You know what I’m talking about. The image of…
- The strong Alpha husband with the beautiful, faithful, submissive wife who’s only had sex with two other men before she got married, and who never divorces him, no matter what he does, even if he cheats on her.
- The two perfect children going to good schools, living with mom and dad in a nice suburban home with two decent cars.
- A government that keeps the roads paved but that largely leave the family alone to pursue their own happiness.
- Men and women, fathers and mothers treated equally by the law.
- Husbands, fathers, and boyfriends celebrated and respected across the board in pop culture, including in TV commercials.
- The vast majority of women staying pretty, skinny, and feminine well into their 40s.
- Men getting laid left and right with little effort while most women stay pure and near-sexless.
Et cetera. This world is gone, gentlemen. We have already lost it, and lost it quite a while ago. Perhaps more importantly, it is not coming back (as if we ever really had it). At least not likely in any of our lifetimes.
Therefore, spending your time, energy, emotions, or money defending this world doesn’t make any sense. It is already gone. We already lost it. It’s not coming back in your lifetime. In a few short decades, what is now called Western civilization will look like the opposite of what I just described. The only partial exceptions to this will be small, isolated parts of the third world where 99% of men reading these words would never want to live.
Much of this has already happened, and it will continue to get worse no matter what the manosphere or men’s rights movement does. Because we’ve already lost. It’s already happened.
Yet…I’m Not A Defeatist
The realization and acknowledgement of this reality does not make me one of those depressing manosphere guys who are constantly whining about how horrible it is that women hook up with more guys these days, or dump men more often, or are becoming more masculine, or whatever. You may notice I never complain about these kinds of things. Hell, I actually like the more hookups part. I think it’s great that I can regularly have sex with women within three hours of face time. (Why the hell would I complain about that? Do I want to go back to the 1930s where I would have to date a woman for three months and then promise marriage just to get laid? No thank you. When it comes to sex, I’ll take 2014 over 1950 any day.)
Nor does this make me one of the nihilists who post on this blog occasionally, saying bad things will happen to all of us no matter what we do, so there’s no point in trying to do certain things.
Yes, men as a group have already lost, and Western civilization has already collapsed, but here’s the twist: that’s a problem for the masses, for society…it’s not necessarily for you.
The good news, and it really is good news, is that you are not society. You’re an individual. Therefore, you can refuse to participate in this crap. I certainly don’t. This makes me a very happy guy.
You can choose to live the life of every Alpha Male’s wildest fantasies even if 99% of other men in this fallen world choose not to. That brings me to my entire point here.
Society Has Already Failed, Look To Yourself Instead
Since society has already failed/collapsed, instead of spending your energies trying to resuscitate a corpse, you should focus on creating a bubble of happiness and freedom around you. This bubble does not need to be very big. It only needs to encompass you and at most perhaps 2-3 other people in your life, if you want (your children if any, and perhaps a woman or two).
All that time, effort, anger, emotion, and possibly money you’re spending trying to fix the world, trying to fight back against left-wingers or right-wingers or feminists or beta males or whoever, could instead be spent…
- Learning new skills to better your life.
- Getting better and meeting and sleeping with attractive women.
- Figuring out how to move out of the country you currently live in that you dislike.
- Lifting weights and/or improving your diet to improve your health, appearance, and confidence.
- Making more money. Or if you already make decent money, making that same money in less work hours per week.
- Trying out new kinds of relationships with women that may make you happier, and/or improving your current relationship skills.
- If you have kids, learning how to be a better father. If you don’t have kids, securing your life logistics so that you will be a good father someday.
Every time you get furious at what some blogger or feminist is doing, you take time away from the above items. Getting pissed off about it has a less than 1% chance of actually doing any real difference in society, but any of these above items have at least a 70%-90% of helping you (and those closest to you).
The rational, fair, Alpha Male-centric society is gone and not coming back. Accept it, and stop hand-wringing about it. Improve your own life instead. Get your own shit in order. Live your life and be happy.
It is quite possible to create a bubble of awesomeness that surrounds you and your key people no matter how bad society is or will become. I am living proof of this. My life is really fantastic, and will only get better, even as Western civilization continues to slowly crumble around me. To which I usually just shrug and say, “Eh. I warned you guys.”
You can improve your life or get pissed off at a battle already lost. I’d say you should improve your life. It’s a much happier path to get excited about all the great things you’re doing with your life than it is to get angry about all the increasing evil, anti-man bullshit society is perpetrating on itself.
Now let’s deal with the objections I can see some of you yelling at your screens.
Objection 1: “WTF Blackdragon!?! If we do nothing, the feminists will make things even WORSE! Someday it could be illegal to have consensual sex without a signed contract, or even to say hi to women on the street!!!”
Two answers to that.
First answer. If that’s actually going to happen (and I don’t know if it will or not), then it will happen whether or not you do anything about it. It won’t make one damn bit of difference if a few MRAs or PUAs scream their heads off on the internet.
How do I know this? Because this crap has become worse every year I’ve been alive. It will keep getting worse. As I’ve said many times, this stuff is going to get a lot worse before it gets better. Alpha Males in the PUA/MRA/manosphere realm are in the teeny tiny minority. We are far, far outnumbered by both women and beta males. When it comes to the overall direction in society, they have the numbers and the influence. We do not. I hate saying it, and I don’t like it any more than you do, but it’s the truth. You signing a petition or making a few comments on a web site will not stop this trend. I honestly wish it would. It won’t.
Second answer. If this happens, it won’t happen all over the world. It will happen in a few extreme left-wing places like Scandinavia. Even if it happens in the United States or greater Europe, then it will still not be happening in many other places in the world.
Then you know what you do? Move. That’s right, get the fuck out of there. Assuming you don’t live in North Korea or Cuba, no one is forcing you at gunpoint to live wherever you’re currently living. You can move whenever the hell you like. If things get really horrible, move to a country or city that has more rational laws.
(If your argument is that these extreme anti-man measures will happen literally all over the world in all 196 countries, then you’re just being irrational. There will always be “normal” places where this does not happen no matter how bad it gets.)
Objection 2: “Not help society? Wow, what an asshole. You’re being really selfish Blackdragon. A good man helps society.”
If that’s really your attitude, you’re forgetting a key point: Society did this to itself.
May I remind you that Americans not only voted for George W. Bush, but re-elected him even after they knew he was a corrupt, brainless warmonger? May I remind you that Americans not only voted for Barack Obama, but re-elected him (though barely) even after they knew he was bombing civilians and spying on your email and phone communication?
And shit, those are just the Americans. Don’t even get me started on the Europeans, who (with the exception of UKIP) keep electing the same hyper-politically-correct, Goldman Sachs-owned politicians who are lining their own pockets while running that once proud group of nations into the ground.
I have said before that if men wanted to repeal all alimony laws, they could do it right now. Seriously. Right now. All they need to do is stop getting married. No, I don’t mean holding off on marriage in their 20s and then surrendering to it in their 30s, which is what they’re doing now. I mean STOP getting married EVER, PERIOD.
If this actually happened, within a very short period of time women would repeal alimony so they could get married again. This is exactly what would happen. Women like to get married. Take it away, and they’ll move heaven and earth to get it back.
Do you see 80% of men refusing to ever get married? 50%? How about 25%? Remember, even within the manosphere and PUA, where men are extremely educated about this, you still have hordes of guys planning on getting married someday. (I’m talking about traditional monogamous marriage with no prenup; getting an OLTR marriage is probably fine, but that’s not what these guys have in mind.)
Then guess what? Alimony stays. Bitch about it all you want. It stays. Society is not willing to do what it takes to fix this problem. Because deep down, society wants these problems.
I could go on with examples, but you get the point.
Listen. Society had its chance. Society had many chances. Society fuckin’ blew it. Society could fix about 70% of its problems within 6-12 months if it really wanted to. But it doesn’t want to, or else it would have done it. No, society is too focused on holding onto the past (right wingers), or changing things for the worse (left wingers), or watching TV (everyone else).
I have absolutely no guilt whatsoever for not worrying about society, and you shouldn’t either. Every day, every year, you see new ways in which society screws itself, often on purpose. Why should you feel at all bad about not helping them? They don’t want your “help”. Frankly, they’re more likely to hate you for your “help”.
My Role Here
So then what am I doing here on this blog? Aside from the logistical reasons of making money and for my own enjoyment, that is. Aren’t I trying to “save the world” in my own little way by being public about these issues?
Nope. Saving the world is not my goal. I already tried that. Throughout the 1990s I was very politically active in third-party movements. It took me several years to realize that a) people really don’t want to change anything, and b) people who “get it” pretty much already get it; they mostly don’t need to be further educated. Therefore I sadly realized I was wasting my time and stopped.
Today, my goal is not to save society or Western civilization, both of which have already failed. Instead, my goal is to take the 5%-10% of men who are tired of being beta males or Alpha Male 1.0s, and help them to find a new path to happiness and fulfillment as men (Alpha Male 2.0).
I already know this will be a very small percentage of men, and that’s okay. Most betas are too scared to change their lives. Most Alpha 1.0s don’t want to change. Most men who read my stuff are either going to get upset, or think it’s interesting but not make any real changes to better themselves. I get that, and it’s completely fine.
But for those very few unique betas who are tired of feeling scared or helpless, tired of being controlled by others…and those very few unique Alpha 1.0s who are tired of arguing and getting pissed, tired of working so hard all the time…it’s both of you guys I’m here for, and who I’m trying to help.
Society, Western civilization, those things have already chosen their path. There’s not much you can do about that. But you can choose a path of happiness, fulfillment, and freedom if you want it, regardless of what society does.
You have only to choose it.
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This post rocks. Somebody needed to say these things, and I commend you for taking the time to spell it all out. It didn’t piss me off, it made me relieved that someone took a stand for common sense.
Every social movement is composed of two types of people: whiners and doers. We can complain and lament about society, or take action to help those who are willing to be saved. I choose the latter. I stand with you.
I agree. Society is screwed. I too will be moving to another country within 10 years. Maybe 5.
With that said, we can change individuals in ways that matter. I have probably convinced around 50 people in the last year that god and free will are illusions meant to make us feel better about our situation. Does it matter? Well nothing matters ultimately but it does improve the conversations of the people in my circle of influence and therefore the quality of my life and that of my daughter.
Great post BD. This aligns well with the feeling I’ve always had that ‘manosphere activism’ is largely composed of impotent whining and no real action.
I think some men’s rights activism has a place though, but more on small-bore issues like sorting out the paternity rights mess that is going on in this country. Some concentrated, well-organized work could make a meaningful difference there I suppose, but I do think you’re right that they just don’t want it bad enough or it would probably be further along now than it already is.
Awesome post. I wasted years of effort following and being involved in politics. Getting angry and beating my head against a wall. Talk radio, political activism, etc, etc.
Several years ago I stopped worrying about it. You are so much better off investing your time and energy in yourself. I’m less stressed and growing more as a man as a result. You can make a huge difference in your own life, but any little ripples you make in the “culture war” is like pissing in the ocean – doesn’t make any difference at all.
Most people feel like they have to belong to some group to find an identity (whether left or right leaning). You’re preaching being an individual – thinking for yourself and taking responsibility for your own experience. Great stuff. Really wish I had made this transition in my thinking many many years ago.
One of your best posts yet, BD.
No point in getting too riled up over matters completely out of your control. Instead, work on making your own life as awesome as possible. Leave the haters and the empty society behind.
This is pretty much my position, but to lead by example. Every man who looks at the own ashes of his past life has to decide where he wants to go, and what he has to do to get there.
Removing one’s self from the herd mentality and seeking self improvement in all ways has been the classic default of men who have had their WTF! epiphany. It works.
I disagree society is not collapsing. What is asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof including my statement
I feel we are living in the best of times of our existence via health wise opportunity wise. Soon from my studies in biology are lives will be extended.
The only fly in the future ointment I see are the radical Muslims intent on destroying us. If we get nuked then yes society will collapse and there will be no place to escape too
In the mean time I focus entirely on my self interest. I know I can’t change shit and I don’t want to waste my precious life on things I can’t change.
I conceded that in the post. I am very excited about the new health and longevity advances coming around the corner.
But that doesn’t mean Western civilization as we know it hasn’t collapsed, or at least isn’t in the process of transforming into something completely different, which is the same thing.
Man, so did I. What a waste. I wish I had figured that out much sooner in life than I did.
I still bitch about political issues over at my personal blog, but my days of actually trying to change the world are long done. I haven’t even voted in about 15 years. I’m too busy improving my life.
Your cultural analysis is as deep as a puddle. If you think that “right wingers” are controlling anything then you are clueless. Who won is the Left. Period. The real victor of WWII was Marxism. The form that conquered the Euro-American world was Cultural Marxism/Progressivism. There is NO right wing opposition in any significant way in the mainstream. There are three distinct non-mainstream opposing views, but none of them have any traction:
1) Non-mainstream, Old-Testament oriented Christian Conservatism; ie Traditionalist of Paleo or Racial or Ethnic or Bio Conservatism.
2) Reactionary, pro-white, anti-Jewish, patriarchal ethno-natioalism (i.e. Roissy and the WNs)
3) Austrian or Randian Right Liberalism / libertarianism (and related)
All three of those are different and very hostile to each other. And none of those will dominate the culture before the collapse. The Left with complicity from mainstream New Testament oriented Conservatism will usher in the fall. What form that fall will take is hard to speculate with precision. It could be fall of Rome stuff, World War Z stuff or maybe even worse. It could also be a “soft-fall”. Its hard to know.
You are right that no one can change anything. But that is because Leftism is unchallengable. And that means that egalitarianism, not any “right wing” thought, is the dominant ideological paradigm of the day. That means that feminism and anti-masculine sentiment is untouchable. We are being bled dry by Leftists and their enablers. It is the equality worship of the Left that is ruling us. Modern liberalism, which is itself an offshoot of New Testament Christianity, is a secular civic religion of egalitarianism. Leftist/equalist/egalitarians are our OVERLORDS. Not “right wingers”.
You may be able to live your life of hedonism for a while longer or you may not. I lean towards #3 above, but I have come to dislike the PUAs intensely. Nihilism, as I have learned, is inescapably linked to the seduction arts. Plus if society does collapse, beta and provider game will be back in play. Seducer/alpha game is a luxury of a prosperous civilized society. That may be coming to an end.
Jack, you really need to work on your reading comprehension. I said right wingers are one of the many groups others think they are a threat who need to be stopped. If you don’t think there are PUAs who hate right wingers, you should read my forum sometime. I also said these people were wrong. If you clicked my link, you would have seen the ENTIRE ARTICLE I wrote about how leftists have indeed won over conservatives.
So you’re calling me clueless for something I clearly don’t believe.
I also said in the last post that if you made one more drive-by troll comment you would be gone. So guess what? You’re gone.
“It is my contention that men in society, or at least Alpha Males, have already “lost”. All the forces of “evil” that men in the manosphere hate, be they beta males, feminists, left-wingers, right-wingers, political correctness, the government, or women in general, have already “won”. The battle has already taken place and has come to a conclusion.”
Feminists say the exact opposite of this on their blogs: that society is still inherently patriarchal since alpha males still exist (since to be “alpha” is to ignore society’s rules and follow your own rules, which women as a rule find exceedingly difficult if not impossible to do, and therefore they very much envy this small subset of men). However, you require enemies to fight against so as to serve your own power needs, since if there were no enemies to fight against, then no one would subscribe to your beliefs. There would be no reason to.
So, you use grandiose and fear inducing statements such as “western civilization has already collapsed” so as to incite tension into others and then proceed to admit implicitly that western civilization is actually doing pretty well, just progressing past what it used to be into something different because of “technology.” Which I am inclined to agree with.
I think that you have a lot of useful ideas that have helped me in the past, but why not just be honest with your intentions? “We now have the potential for better paradigms of behavior in our society and I know how to go about creating them.” When you actually endeavor solely to help other people instead of also feeding your ego’s desire to be admired for its system-building capabilities then there is no need to demonize others.
@(…)…Someday it could be illegal to have consensual sex without a signed contract, or even to say hi to women on the street!!!”
Well if it would happen, it will happen here in Germany. This country is already a social graveyard regarding picking up women, and for 3 weeks the security personal of a big train station have forbidden us to talk to unfamiliar women! Next time they see us talking to girls, they will prosecute, because they think it disturbs them. We explained what we were doing, and that talking to ( picking up ) women isn´t as much disturbing for the female, it is just the very opposite, they like to flirt. Well I think the guy was also a little bit envious, seeing us talking to random girls 😀 ….but they registered our personal data….
I, like so many of the commenters, think this is an excellent post! I particularly like your mention that freer sex options have enhanced life for men in 2014 over 1930. The tradcon types tend to be natural born low-sex drive prudes who hate and fear sexually liberated people on an instinctual level and thus sound panicked when they talk/write about a more sex positive society.
Dennis’ thoughtful criticism in which he mentions increasing technology is good too and goes well with what BD has written. I am sad to see the Old West die but perhaps what will happen, with advancing technology, will be less of a collapse and more of a change. Perhaps such change will be less like the Fall of Rome then like the rise of Christianity and the decline of paganism: the establishment of a new civilizational framework with different rules and different preconceived starting points.
I think greater technology may stave off some sort of “Mad Max” type scenario but the real threat to stability and prosperity is really coming in the form of potential dysgenic idiocracy. If we could find some way to neutralize the stupid/dysfunctional from overbreeding society might have a relatively smooth ride into the future. There is of course the possibility that Cultural Marxists will try to incite the underclass to engage in anti-White pogroms in the future but that may simply lead to talented and well to do Whites moving to Russia, Eastern Europe, or perhaps even a future Western Europe governed by resurgent nationalists of various sorts.
Even though the right wing has been increasingly powerless since the end of WWII, I think people tend to hate tradcons and Dalrock style Christians because of (1) the individual tragedies they play a role in and (2) also the way they would like to force their natural socio-sexual inclinations on others who have no such inclinations.
Point 1 happens when Tradcons try to convince men to live 1950s style American monogamy and the results of such attempts at hard monogamous living transpire. Tradcons claim this was the way it always was for “good” people. This is false, the histories of non-western polygamy, pre-20th century legal prostitution, and defacto harems of Western monarchs/aristocrats/captains of industry/men of power all tell a different story. Tradcons claim men are happier in hard monogamous relationships. I think witnessing any man with options in action refutes this prudish fantasy.
But what really inspires hatred for these people is when they convince some fellow to marry like he’s living in 1950 and its the 21st century and the man in question eventually suffers divorce, financial ruin, and family dispossession and then the tradcons simply walk off like they had nothing to do with this and look for another victim to persuade with their romantic prudish nonsense. Tradcons seem to think that if they can convince people to marry like its 1950 that somehow the old ways will return. Its really a dangerous type of magical thinking. People hate tradcons the way people hated generals after World War I for ordering men to run straight into machine gun nests: they play havoc with other men’s lives for goals that probably can’t be obtained and that are immaterial to the well being of those they sacrifice.
I am sorry if I have gone off on a tangent. Jack rather annoys me. I will finish my comment later, I am going to a party with my lady right now.
“If you don’t have kids, securing your life logistics so that you will be a good father someday.”
No thank you, I’ll just enjoy the freedom and resources that come with NOT being a good father, or any other kind 🙂
What will this collapse of western civilization look like? War? Poverty? Lack of freedom? I’m not sure what you mean, how will it’s collapse differ from it’s prosperity?
Continuing what I wrote above, tradcons make dubious claims about the need for hard monogamy. They tend to sound panicked and move the goal posts often when their claims are counter. They say without hard monogamy civilization will collapse. Yet prior to American puritanism, there have been plenty of societies and civilizations that were not hard monogamous and prudish. Renaissance Italy was not in decline and it was certainly not some archaic Old World version of Father Knows Best.
Tradcons claim women are less happy in polls than they use to be with the rise of current socio-sexual norms. I am very suspicious of these claims. I get the impression that a lot of these women are very happy abandoning marriages, I just think this is a case of wanting to have one’s cake and eat it too. Some women never fill fully satisfied no matter what and still others want sexual freedom but don’t want tradcon types to slut shame them so they put on this “unhappy” act for them.
Tradcons claim children are less well off outside of hard monogamous marriage arrangements. I question this because they really take data for single mother households and compare it superficially monogamous looking households and find single mother households do poorer. This really says nothing about open marriages, polygamous marriages, or single father headed households. The tradcons just proclaim their desired prejudice as the optimal lifestyle. Furthermore, the single mother data is questionable because it tends to compare the outcomes of children raised in the dysfunctional underclass (by single mothers) to middle and upper class children. Two parent underclass homes appear dysfunctional as well. I suspect that comparing single parent households in the middle and upper classes to two parent families would not yield anywhere near as severe a divide.
If you scratch (figuratively) most tradcons long enough you find many are just old fashion Christian reactionaries who are frightened and angry about the world they see around them. Some of them will come out and invoke God in defense of their beliefs in critiqued long enough. The thing is the evidence for their Deity appears rather poor, so they can make all the threats to sexually active people of hellfire they want but it won’t have much effect because doesn’t appear believable. Science and a rational critical look at their beliefs is making the thinking public increasingly more and more skeptical.
Finally, some tradcons and hard Christian reactionaries make proclamations about how society will collapse into poverty, starvation, and suffering any day now and then the beta providers will be indispensable to women once again, the manginas will take power, and are then going to use the state to murder PUAs, polyamorists, sluts, MGTOWs, gays, prostitutes, and johns. First, the Third World is considerably poorer than the First World yet I hear they’re are plenty of PUAs, polyamorists, sluts, MGTOWs, gays, prostitutes, and johns in places like Latin America and Southern Asia. Second, these tradcon fantasies about hard collapse sound more like the angry longings of the disenfranchised and those that have failed to thrive in the current socio-sexual environment then the clear thinking of prophetic Cassandras.
“But you can choose a path of happiness, fulfillment, and freedom if you want it, regardless of what society does.”
I recently moved on from my cooking job of eights years and will be joining the world of self-employment as a screened personal support worker.
Helping young men, that have cognitive and physical disabilities, has become a passion of mine.
This blog and a others have been a wonderful source of inspiration and motivation.
Great post.-d
That’s a big topic and I don’t have a crystal ball, but I can give you some guesses.
America and Europe will not be prosperous, not in the way we view that word today. That doesn’t mean the US will become some third-world shithole. It means that either:
A. It will be some teeny tiny little country that no one gives a shit about. Like Portugal, which 500 years ago damn near ruled the world, and today is a teeny tiny country no one gives a shit about. I’m sure that back when Portugal ruled the roost (more or less), if someone back then said “In the future, you’ll be this teeny tiny country no one gives a shit about”, they would have said, “Oh, bullshit. That won’t ever happen. It will be fine!”
or
B. It will be a failed superpower full of corruption, crime, and vastly reduced standards of living, like Russia. Russia is so chaotic that Putin controls Moscow and St. Petersberg but not much else. And I shudder to think what Russia would be like without a very strong leader like that.
Anyway, America will look like one of those by the 2040s-2050s (if not sooner).
In terms of freedom, the US will become more Europe-like as time goes on, and Europe will become more Scandinavia-like as time goes on. So if you’re a man who likes to have sex with women and make money, oh yes, there will be significant reductions in freedom that you will experience…assuming you stay in the Western world that is.
Very nice! Well done! I still feel what it was like almost 20 years ago when I finally quit my stupid corporate job and started my first business full-time. Very exciting!
Congratulations BD you’re the shiznit! This is just awesome:
1.”Society Has Already Failed, Look To Yourself Instead.”
Exactly, fortunately I’ve never gave a fu** about politics (I’m to busy improving my game/health/sex life/fatherhood/career…) and even though I’m a main of solid faith, I noticed at early age that my sweet Lord is way beyond all those bulls*** religions.
2.”It is quite possible to create a bubble of awesomeness that surrounds you and your key people no matter how bad society is or will become”.
Again, this is a great insight and I try hard to achieve this. Regarding this, it is not that I disagree with you but I think I do my part to change my surroundings and maybe a small, small part of the world:
I teach seduction, manliness, weightlifting, style, positive thinking, relationship management, etc to my son and my 3 nephews and as a rule they have to teach this to 3 pitiful betas (a chain like in the movie) someday they will be role models to other men and this knowledge might transcend to future generations. This is how you change the world, again, at least a very small part of it.
3.Someday it could be illegal to have consensual sex without a signed contract, or even to say hi to women on the street!!!
Whaaaat? Holy sh**!!! I wasn’t even aware of this and it seems that Juan confirms it in his comment above, that is really fu**** up and it does affects us all directly.
GUYS, BD, what other crazy sh** like this is happening? PLEASE LET ME KNOW.
And I’m reading this great blog because I’m tired of being an Alpha 1.0. I think I can do and deserve better.
September. Great!!! BD, your book is going to be my own birthday present 🙂
PUA Brian Kinney
BD said “That’s a big topic and I don’t have a crystal ball, but I can give you some guesses”
And guesses they are. I guess just the opposite. I “guess” that advances in technology, biology and personal communication will bring on the best living era and freedom that the US has ever known.
It’s with sadness that I concede that you’re probably right. That ship has sailed, and it’s already perched on some iceberg somewhere.
The main reason I still have an attachment to the US, and haven’t moved to Asia or South America, is because I have a fantastic job here and it’s still the best country for creating the future. I have facilities for creating things here I cannot duplicate anywhere else–in particular, I can’t duplicate the convergence of brilliant people anywhere else. But socially, I hate that I still have to spend so much time in the US.
I agree with everything you just said…if you take out the word “US”. In the 2020s you’ll have genome therapy, and in the 2030s you’ll have nanotech in our bodies. People living well past 100 and looking like they’re 30…cancer and other diseases cured…it will be incredible…
…but the US as unified nation will still go bankrupt, or collapse, or split up into smaller nations, or something simliar. These technologies will benefit other nations, not the US as we now see it.
Women have always exercised their natural sexual rights. One only has to read Casanova or Tolstoj to realize this.
Society is control by dominant interests.
Women’s entry in the workforce and political arena broke the Beta Males overwhelming dominance.
Alpha Males and Women have won over Beta Males, and society is
reshaping itself to accommodate this new reality.
Either men will become more alpha or men will remain beta and violence and rape will increase as they try to take by force what they cannot acquire by power of will.
The USA and Europe are still oligarchies, so I don’t think anything will change on the level of government.
Evolutions that will have an impact are the rise of Latin-Catholic culture in the USA and Islamic culture in Europe.
Comment deleted for violation of rules 1 and 5.
Boom. Killer article. One of your best. Aaron Clarey coined the term “Enjoy the Decline” and you just summed up the how and why of that with a flying elbow-drop.
Thanks, from one of the aforementioned (formerly) 5-10%.
Good stuff BD. Reminds me of Harry Browne’s book ‘How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World’. As I recall, you cite this book as a big influence on your thinking… right BD? I read it around age 15 or so.
Also this post reminds me of one of Steven Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, which is: work within your sphere of influence (otherwise you waste time/energy with minimal effect).
It seems to me that if you are a big consumer of mass media, then you are being bombarded with bullshit brainwashing which goes against your best interests.
You are urged to make choices (habits, lifestyle) which defeat you (example: happiness requires drinking beer and eating tons of junk ‘food’. Yeah, enjoy being fat & stinky.).
Our culture cons people into being spectators, collectors, consumers, followers, etc., rather than being participants, innovators, creators, producers, instigators, leaders (or simply just independent thinkers).
It seems ever since caveman tribes, there has always been a tiny (percentage) elite which cleverly exploits the masses by instilling strategic false beliefs.
Yeah, I remember him saying that a few times. It always makes me smile. George Carlin had a similar outlook.
Very much so, and I’m jealous if you read it when you were 15. I had to wait until I was about 30.
Only movies. No TV. And I compartmentalize that movie stuff pretty well; I know that 95% of the movies I see are shit, just fun shit. I’m also aware of their Societal Programming.
Yep. Because that’s exactly what the elites want.
Just to clarify, when I say “If you are a big consumer of mass media”, I mean anyone in America, not just you BD.
Anyway, it’s hard to get away from advertising & other messages, trying to grab your attention everywhere you turn, inundating you (TV sets broadcasting crap at you while you pump your gas?!? GTFO!).
I hate hearing TVs when I’m waiting in an airport, or in an auto shop customer area, etc. Earplugs reduce the noise only a little, but I often carry them & use them.
It looks like there are plenty of docile sheeple who are content to have their attention managed by others. The fearful conformist majority sometimes punish non-conformist behavior (pushing you to conform), but I try to identify ways in which being a non-conformist or anomaly can benefit me. In some ways it pays to keep your non-conformist choices covert (‘fly below the radar’, so you don’t attract flack from others). In other ways you may get rewarded for being unusual.
Currently (as I see it) one of the biggest sources of brainwashing (which undermines your happiness)is corporations selling products.
And, as I see it, our government has largely sold out to corporate America — because so many politicians seem to give top priority to getting elected, staying in office, and maximizing their personal finances through their position in politics.
Hey BD, didn’t Harry Browne also write a book with a title like ‘How You Can Profit from the Future Financial Crisis’?
If so, have you read it? What did you think of it?
P.S.
Some of the topics we’re discussing here remind me of a great movie, Network (1976, very prescient). I recommend it highly to anyone interested in what we are discussing here. It is full of great quotes, which you can easily read on one page if you go to IMDb.com, select titles, type in “Network”, and then (on the page of facts about Network) scroll down to see a link to quotes on the left side of the screen.
For me the outstanding quote is the long speech by Arthur Jensen to Howard Beale, explaining how the world works today.
BD, have you seen this movie? If so, what do you think of it?
Barring a mass extinction or invasion by another, Societies don’t just collapse. Sure, an empire can collapse. Economies can collapse. Ecosystems collapse. Food supplies can collapse.
Societies evolve.
What’s the difference? One is product of collective choice, the other is foisted upon it.
Our society has and continues to evolve. Speaking specifically of the US experience, society has evolved to extend freedoms and property rights to racial groups. It evolved to allow voting and property rights to women. It has moved away from the traditional, single earner, 2-parent household, rarely divorcing family model to one that places increasingly lower value on provisioning and masculinity in favor of the feminine imperative.
EVERY ONE of the above societal developments came about through the desire and efforts of an affected group. Most of the changes have been for the better!!! Nearly everyone has more choices, more options and more freedoms. **Nearly every**.
Why is it that an intoxicated consenting female is is legally treated as victim ex post facto while an intoxicated male is automatically designated the perpetrator? Because by and large men have been good little sheep safe and content in their pen.
Why is it that women continue to receive legal and economic favored treatment in college admissions, grants, corporate hiring and government contracts? Because they’ve spoken out and demanded while most men remained good little sheep safe and content in their pen.
Why is it that YOU, (yes you) the reader can have your career, family and reputation taken from you by a woman’s false accusation despite the well known preponderance of fabrications? That’s right, because you’re a good little sheep content in your pen.
Nobody cares about good little sheep. “Society” only cares those willing to at least stand up for themselves and be counted.
Want proof?
One area that men have traditionally gotten slaughtered is in family court. She runs off with the kids and takes you to the cleaners – you know the drill. THIS IS ONE AREA where enough men decided it was important enough to speak up and demand better legal treatment. More and more states have begun to reverse this trend , granting fathers equal access to their kids and overturned draconian NOW inspired, fem-centric policies.
NEWS FLASH: The male population is not going to collapse anytime soon.
You don’t have to be some raving lunatic on the corner with a sign. You don’t have to participate in a march on the Capitol. You don’t have to organize a movement and have mass demonstrations. All you have to do to see more improvements is merely stick up for yourself and if you can spare it, donate to a Fathers rights or Falsely accused advocacy. These have been responsible for nearly ALL the legal improvements for men in the past few years.
BUT if you’re willing to eat any pile of crap that’s given to you, don’t expect that one day a steak might fall into your lap.
The old system, Marriage 1.0, afforded the ordinary man much more and better sex than he gets today. So yeah, I’d choose that if it were still available. We’ll probably return to that system, but not right away, and not directly.
As long as the EBT cards keep working, everything stays as it is now or gets more feminist. Then the government goes completely broke, and single mothers have to suck dick or pimp out their kids to buy food. Dudes with resources won’t marry these aging sluts; they’ll take in a fatherless 12-year-old girl (any older and she won’t be a virgin), and knock out a few babies.
As those babies grow up, mothers, fathers, and brothers will team up to keep the girls pure until marriage. Like Sicily in 1900, you could get beaten up or even lynched for talking to a girl without her father’s permission.
Hi, you are a naive fool. First of all, the world you describe as “lost” never existed to begin with:
“The strong Alpha husband with the beautiful, faithful, submissive wife who’s only had sex with two other men before she got married, and who never divorces him, no matter what he does, even if he cheats on her.
The two perfect children going to good schools, living with mom and dad in a nice suburban home with two decent cars.
A government that keeps the roads paved but that largely leave the family alone to pursue their own happiness.
Men and women, fathers and mothers treated equally by the law.
Husbands, fathers, and boyfriends celebrated and respected across the board in pop culture, including in TV commercials.
The vast majority of women staying pretty, skinny, and feminine well into their 40s.
Men getting laid left and right with little effort while most women stay pure and near-sexless.”
For example:
“A government that keeps the roads paved but that largely leave the family alone to pursue their own happiness.”
This? During a time when all Americans were being questioned about their affections for/affiliations with Communism, a decade after Japanese Americans were forced to live in camps for fear that they might be spies? Not to mention the seizure of US citizens’ gold in the 30s, which was compensated for by issuing dollars, after which the price of gold rose considerably, while the dollar value became inflated.
“Men and women, fathers and mothers treated equally by the law.”
When was that? At a time when abortions were illegal, as was female contraception (not legalized in most states until the 60s)? Or was that when women could not get a divorce in most states unless they could prove without a doubt that their husband had been unfaithful – despite whether or not he was a drunk who beat the life out of his “submissive wife, who never divorces him, no matter what he does” on a daily basis? Or were men and women treated equally by the law, when, how did you put it: “Husbands, fathers, and boyfriends were celebrated and respected across the board in pop culture, including in TV commercials”?
Rubbish. Not even worth arguing, because your flawed perception of reality is evidenced by the fact that you even contradict yourself if one allows you to write for long enough (i.e. no thesis; no valid argument that can be debated because it runs itself aground via its lack of clarity and inconsistency).
What had existed, along the vein of your malformed thoughts, was a world created by clever marketing execs around the early to late part of the 20th century. Prior to that, women were simultaneously demonized and deified for millennia in such a way that we were completely unable to legitimize our self-image without approval from men. As such, our distorted self-image caused us, and femininity in general, to become inferior to men and masculinity, manifested outwardly in our societal values, and inwardly in our own personal perceptions of self. This still persists to this day.
Unfortunately, your posts on this matter (i.e. the “war” on men vs. “war” on women) lack any enlightening insights, and are merely the vacuous complaints which directly mirror exactly what you accuse feminists of doing. As such, it is men like yourself who are the greatest contributors to the “downfall” of the world you think existed earlier in the 20th century. After all, why should women feel inferior to men who bitch and moan just like women?
The current status of feminine roles in American society is the result of years of “women’s liberation” movements that are always initiated by marketing maneuvers all created primarily by male executives. They have led women to believe that “liberation” is synonymous with promiscuity, and make no mistake about it, they have led men to believe this as well. But these are all false constructs, and sex will never lead to liberation, unless it is part of the act of “making love.” Yeah, barf, you idiot, do whatever retarded shit it is you need to do, but when you recover, bear with me and read on.
In reality, there are two legitimate wars going on: the feminization of men and the defeminization of women. So your blog, by way of your sissy rants about how “not fair” it is that the world which seemed to revolve around men (this world never actually existed) is shifting, is actually contributing just as much to the feminization of men as your (erroneous) proclamations that women are now dominating society contribute to the masculinization of women. In truth, these are both virtuous shifts in power, but our culture has distorted them and misled us, thus changing the way that these gender shifts manifest in real life, altering our perception of their value.
Let me explain: For example, the enlightened development of the male psyche requires the male to gain wisdom by relinquishing some control over his emotions – enough so that he may learn to truly experience and analyze them. Men are taught from an early age to constantly suppress their feelings, but when you do that for 20-some odd years, you end up with it bubbling over at some point in adulthood, at which point you realize you have all of these intense emotions that you have no idea what to do with, because you’ve been taught to avoid processing them throughout your whole life thus far. Given the inordinate amounts of stress most young people are under these days with constant bombardment of electronics, media, social media, etc. we see people impulsively lashing out in more random, and more disturbing ways than previously recorded in history.
Sure there were brutal, bloody wars throughout history, centuries of viking raids, etc. But what you do NOT find in history are occurrences where seemingly “normal” members of a group of people, tribe, whatever you want to call it, randomly slaughter their own people. That’s not to say that never happened; it did. Mutinies abound throughout the ages of historical record, but there have been so many RANDOM mass-killings (not political in nature) over the past decade or so, that I can’t even keep track of the newest ones, and these horrific tragedies are now considered somewhat commonplace in my mind, sadly. If you take note, however, you find that in most cases – in fact, nearly all of them – these acts are perpetrated by men – NOT women.
What does this indicate? That men are evil? That men have a greater tendency toward killing than women? I’d say no; it just means that men clearly have a greater tendency to suppress all of their emotional baggage until it suddenly, and shockingly, boils over. In nearly all cases of these mass killings in the US, the killers have something in common: the people around them claim to be so shocked, they “never saw it coming.” Sure, the guy was an introvert and a little strange, but he seemed nice enough. It tells you something: these men made sure to keep any of their painful emotions from being displayed to the outside world, until they were completely overwhelmed and lost control.
The feminine aspect is often perceived to be “weak.” But truly acknowledging and feeling your own emotions is the first step on the road to being able to control them. It’s like having credit card debt; each experience in life that tests your emotional strength is like making another purchase with money you don’t yet control. You only come to “control” your debt by acknowledging the bills that must be paid each month. You have to process your spending habits by acknowledging your debts and paying on them regularly. If you fail to acknowledge your debts for a few months, you get behind on payments, and at first the consequences aren’t so serious. But at some point, if you fall too far behind, the bills pile up too high, and now all of a sudden you run into a wall where you can’t make anymore financial progress until you reconcile your debts. Emotions are very similar: you must process them as they occur, or shortly after they occur; otherwise, you find yourself in a place suddenly, where you are in such an emotional rut that you now have a crisis and must process years’ worth of baggage in a short amount of time. That’s when many people begin seeing a therapist, or commit mass murder…or start a blog like this one (just sayin’).
The IDEAL “feminization” of men has been revered by both sexes since the beginning of mankind. The ideal is to become so aware of your emotions that you now understand them – you know how they “work”; you know what experiences cause you emotional distress, and more importantly, you know WHY those experiences affect you thus. This requires years of observing your own emotional patterns, as well as the way in which you deal with your emotions (i.e. your reactions, your behaviors, your future interactions with the outside world – how are these influenced by your emotions). To be able to understand one’s own emotions in so profound a way is ideal for anyone – both men and women; and this is also not something that all women can do, by any means. Indeed, most women don’t have that sort of emotional strength, but then again, not all men are adept logicians, either (more on that, in a minute).
What I’m trying to say is, our current society in America tends to discourage males from exploring their emotions in any significant way, while simultaneously perpetrating this myth that any attempt by us (all of us – men AND women) to understand our emotions is an indication that we are “weak,” simply because emotions are perceived to be feminine in gender. Never mind the fact that “feminine” is indeed a gender indicator, and gender is a psychological construct, and therefore does not connote PHYSICAL strength or weakness in and of itself, in any way; and as for EMOTIONAL strength, I think we would all agree that the feminine, more so than “masculine,” aspect seems to be more closely associated with this notion. In other words, masculinity is a WEAK trait when it comes to developing an understanding of one’s emotions; whereas femininity is a STRONG trait with regard to emotional development… Right?
Not so fast. So what about the “masculinization” of females? Well, in our current society, this basically means: women should behave like “men” do. We should sleep around, or – how was it that you put it? We should be “getting laid left and right with little effort.” (Btw: Sure, Donald Draper in Mad Men could do that because he was a rich, creative genius, who was smokin’ hot, and steamy in the sack… But, rest assured, this never was, is not currently, and never will be the “norm” for most men. That’s why most men have resorted to rape, since the dawn of man – they’re not Donald Draper.)
The reality is, however, imitating men’s sexual desires will never bring women closer to the virtues of masculinity. The masculine aspect differs from the feminine in that it favors form, whereas the feminine favors creation. The feminine energy is transformative in a different way than male energy: feminine energy breaks down form to create something new. It’s about death and rebirth; change; inconstancy. Think about why emotions are so scary in the first place: they are transient, and shocking much of the time. They “just happen.” The feminine aspect is all about acknowledging energies which are seemingly beyond ourselves. They are energies which are difficult to control, and slippery when we try to manipulate them (no pun intended). These energies are always subject to time, and change constantly. Think, for a moment, about the very gift of birth – the most disturbingly feminine concept of all. What is so scary about it? The fact that another human has popped out of some woman’s vagina? As remarkable of a party trick as that is, that’s not the scary part (you can find much stranger stuff on pornhub).
The scary part is what to do with a new life. What does it mean to be born? To die? To have a child? To watch him or her grow? It means we are constantly running against time; we are constantly subject to change. When things seem like they aren’t changing, this is merely our conscious mind momentarily stuck in a pattern – holding onto something that cannot beat time. The subconscious mind – the world of our emotions – is always aware of time and change, however. But if we are constantly tuned into our emotions, and all we’re aware of is how much is constantly changing over time, we’d forever be the subjects and victims of our own emotions. So, we must learn how to wield some power over this amorphous energy, and that power manifests in the form of logic – the masculine aspect of our psyche.
Logic is the psychological equivalent of “squaring the circle.” It is creating form from emotions. But, as they say in the sciences, form determines function, and the “psychological constructs” – or logical algorithms – we generate can manipulate our emotions for better or for worse. For example, say you subscribe to a logic that values your own introspective analysis of your emotional processes. Just by virtue of this simple aspect in your logic, you will be “more in touch with your emotions” because your conscious mind (logic) will be interacting with them regularly. By constantly interacting with your emotions, you’re more likely to be able to actively direct them. You can make them work FOR you, rather than against you.
Think of, hell, why not: Donald Draper, a creative genius who allows his darkest memories to goad and inspire him toward creative masterpieces, one after another. The first few seasons of the series are all a brilliant character study of what happens when one denies the emotional side of oneself the chance to interact with the outside world: we are constantly haunted by phantoms and landmines, which require increasingly greater efforts to avoid. Inevitably, though, it all catches up to us, and initiates a crisis. How our emotional self is able to cope with this crisis in large part depends upon how robust our logical constructs are. How much “change” can they integrate without completely imploding?
If your logic devalues emotions and therefore requires the suppression of them, you will have two disjointed systems, one that seems initially to be under your control (your conscious, “logical” system), and another that is completely outside of your control because your logical process requires you to negate its presence (your subconscious, “emotional” system). At first, you feel that this suppression of emotions indicates that you are “in control” of them; but much like in the credit card example, this denial actually causes you to lose complete control. It’s as if you feel you have no debts because you don’t spend any money on paying off the debts you do indeed have. All is fine, until one day you need to buy a new car, take out a loan, rent an apartment, etc. and suddenly – BAM! – there’s your debt! Smack in your face! And you realize it has been there all along, just waiting to be acknowledged again. You realize you have had no control over your finances the whole time, and now you certainly lack control.
But, if we’re continuing with this simile, in this case, constantly living through your subjective emotional experiences is equivalent to constantly trying to make ends meet, while refusing credit, and never being able to “get ahead” financially. It’s like renting your whole life, rather than taking out a mortgage to buy a home. Taking out the mortgage is like having an emotional crisis. It’s like you spend all of this time trying to be in control, one way or another: either you pay all of your bills on time, have absolutely no debt, but can never get ahead; or you are not afraid of spending money, but now have serious debt that you have refused to acknowledge for far too long, and now you cannot get ahead, either. It’s the difference between someone who is conservative and afraid to venture outside of what he/she already knows, versus one who is a constant thrill-seeker and cannot stay “grounded.” Neither of their credit scores are ideal.
So, both types come to a point where they want to get ahead, and they both do that by trying to move beyond their old comfort zones. On the one hand, you have someone who needs to take more risk – buy now, and pay later; try out new experiences, and wait to process their emotions until after they gain some objectivity and greater perspective (i.e. stop analyzing everything in “real time”). On the contrary, the other type now must learn to reconcile all debts in real time; take accountability for all of his/her actions and emotions as they happen, all the while going through the years’ worth of baggage that has begun cropping up on a conscious level.
This is the crisis period. Both types have the potential to accomplish their goals, and move beyond those goals – to be reborn, in essence. The ultimate goal is to become the person who can “take out credit” to begin a “business,” and due to his/her prudence and constant attention to both current financial state and the projected scope of revenue, this person is able to not only repay their debts, but generate so much income that they never have to acquire debt again.
This “income” is generated by experience. Experience is the thing we all must seek. Experiences elicit emotions, which, in turn, must be controlled by our mind. True, more varied experiences may bring about emotions which may seem frightening to us (e.g. pain, fear, sadness, anger); but varied experiences are also required to equip us with enough material to supply our mind and develop its logics so they grow more robust. You need to expand your mind in order to integrate, and thus control, more of your emotions. And you integrate these emotions by learning to understand them; again, making your emotions work for you – instead of against you (or even worse: you working for your emotions).
But this requires diligence and very hard work. And, depending on what we had to begin with, it may require a complete restructuring of either our emotional patterns, or logic system, or both (often times, both). And this is no simple thing, and there is very little humor in it. In fact, it is a very dangerous time in our lives to have to undergo this process.
When someone undergoes a crisis like this, the result is usually to sink or swim. Think of those people you went to high school with who were beautiful, popular, star athletes – that sort of thing. Then you run into them in their late 20s and think: “Holy shit. What happened??” These people went bankrupt during the crisis, and never recovered. Those are the same people who commit suicide when confronted with the crisis; or they kill a bunch of people in an effort to redefine themselves. During the crisis, people will do anything they can to pull themselves up from the abyss (including vilify the opposite sex).
So, how do you succeed in regaining control during this terrible time? By, ironically, relinquishing all of your control. Give up everything you’ve ever known and wanted so that you can determine what you actually need. It’s your death and rebirth, and you must treat it as such.
It requires pure faith to be successful in this endeavor. But not faith in a God, or even the universe. It requires faith in yourself only: faith that you will continue to exist, despite having lost everything you ever knew yourself to be. You will still be alive, without control over what defines you. This is the essence of “making love.”
The reason why we have such a difficult time defining “Love” is because it’s bigger than us. We can sense what it is, but can never fully grasp it. The more we try to define it, the further we remove ourselves from its true essence. The reality is that love requires us to have full faith in ourselves. Not our idea of self, but rather, what we actually are. Faith that we can enjoy just existing, constantly changing naturally. It requires an incessant balancing act between what we want to be and what we need to be, and eventually, what we need becomes what we want (that’s wisdom). But before the crisis, it is quite the opposite: we believe what we want should define what we need.
Making love, with regard to sex, requires us to give in completely to our desire for the other person. The reason why our society today is constantly wrapped up in calling men rapists and women whores is because we are conditioned to be absolutely terrified of giving in to our desires wholeheartedly. If the woman you’re “fucking” is a whore, then you don’t have to feel the full intensity of your emotions associated with climaxing with her. Likewise, as a woman, if you think all men are basically forcing you to have sex with them (whether physically, or psychologically), then you don’t have to feel responsible for making the logical choice to not sleep with a man unless you sincerely desire him.
Men use logic as a defense (e.g. “obviously, I’m going to want to have sex with that woman, because she’s a whore, and that’s what whores exist for); women use emotions as a defense (e.g. “I feel like I have to let this guys sleep with me, otherwise he’ll make me feel bad about myself”). The truth is, though, that both women and men need to acquire the virtuous traits of both genders to become something greater than what they were. This is the ultimate goal of enlightenment: to become androgynous in our hearts and minds, despite the seemingly infinite limitations of our corporeal existence.
Society has already started to collapse. What happened to the Black Family is starting to happen to the White Family. The Black Community really was the canary in the coal mine. With an illegitimacy rate of over 75%, the result is scores of angry young men who are joining gangs or participating in other anti-social activities. Add a cult of victim-hood, and racism i.e. blacks hate crackers and whites hate blacks, throw in the “knock-out game” and you have just witnessed the complete collapse of civil society in the black community.
With illegitimacy rates among the white and hispanic communities rising sharply, it doesn’t take a genius to see where this will all end. Perhaps the elite will be insulated from the turmoil, but for the average American, society will become ever more violent and brutish. With Feminism still on the rise in this country, the men will cease to be the subservient gentlemen that women want and will instead transmogrify into violent beasts that will rob, rape and steal what they will.
Welcome to the Brave New world.
Jenna, I read about half your post and scanned the rest, and I actually agree with many of your points (thought not all; if you think men aren’t treated like morons in commercials you need to open your eyes.) In the future please lay off the name-calling and keep your comments shorter. Rules are here.
However like a lot of women who angrily post here, you read one or two of my blog posts and then incorrectly lump me in with every other manosphere guy you’ve ever read. To correct some of your assumptions:
1. I have never called women “whores”, and have never engaged in slut shaming. Read this.
2. I have said many times that the 1950s was indeed oppressive to women and stifling to men. Read this.
3. I am not “part of the problem”, because I do things like routinely tell men to not lie to women, avoid one night stands, etc. I have also recommended to men to stop voting (for leftists or conservatives) so arguing I am the cause of these things is a little silly.
4. Most of all, my list of examples that’s upsetting you is not a list of things that happened, they are list of things other manosphere guys want to have happen. What’s why I clearly called them a “1950s-ish guy-fantasy” and not “the 1950s”. You really should read more carefully.
I could go on and on with your misconceptions of me and my views, but I really don’t have the time because there is so many. Again, I would suggest you do a little more reading around here before you attack me on views I don’t hold. A good place to start would be the Hater’s Corner at the bottom of the page right here. Thanks.
That’s a great way to put it. Well said.
Correct. I cover a lot of this in my book.
Yes and yes. It’s a fantastic book.
I have been thinking about this since the short version was posted at the forum. Two thoughts.
I think the part about a marriage strike ending alimony is super on target. I believe the PUAs & MGTOWS have already done more to improve things for the better than all the activists will ever accomplish. Depriving women of men willing to pull their wagon for a slight chance of some sex directly alters the dynamic in a way that naming Angry Harry Emperor of Earth never could. The more guys who start living for themselves, and start asking, “what is really in it for me?” in regards to traditional relationships, the more likely it is women will come to their senses.
The whole world cannot slip into a totalitarian nightmare and/or return to agrarian feudalism/serfdom without depriving the rich of their creature comforts. Only a free mass market is capable of providing such goodies as smart phones, flat screen TVs, luxury cars, and private jets. None of that can be made at any price in small numbers or in command economies or in failed states. It is in the interest of the ruling class to prevent total descent into universal dystopia or 100% centrally managed economies. Elites in total shitholes only live the good life because they can purchase it from free societies. If the elites ruin the West, they won’t even be able to keep their police state running for long. Dictatorships & planned economies are incapable of making anything useful without assistance from free market states. In other words, there will always be someplace for those with talent and the willingness to work and take risks to thrive. An ambitious young man would be well advised to find such a place and move there.
I agree with everything you just said Silvertree. There will always be prosperity somewhere.
BD, exactly when did this past we have allegedly lost happen? Not in the world I’ve researched. It never existed.
In the wonderful man-friendly world of my grandfather’s time, deluded men lined up for blocks to get into the trenches of World War One and be ground into hamburger because they were well behaved boys who did what their mothers and fathers told them to do: sign up. They got to work 55 hours a week on boring but physically dangerous jobs with no discernible safety regulations, and pay all the bills for half a dozen kids. That’s provided they were not hurt on those jobs and if they did get hurt their kids got really skinny because they did not eat very often. And if one of those men divorced the woman automatically got the kids – no recourse.
Do I admire the men who stood up under tough circumstances they could not change. Yes. Do I want to live in that world of alleged male privilege? No. Do I want complete responsibility for the welfare of a grown woman? No. Let’s make it graphic – do I want to go to a dentist from the 1890’s? OMG NO!
Western Civilization shot its own ass off in two world wars and has been in relative decline for at least 70 years simply because the rest of the world is catching up. No-one knows where this will lead but you can be sure that none of the dramatic, sweeping predictions flowing through the blogosphere will come true.
Does any of this mean I pine for the halcyon days of 1955 when I could be trapped in a suburban tract house with a woman who actually ran the show at home while I got to be some amorphous Organization Man at a job I really didn’t like and raise kids who really didn’t like me? Not likely.
Men who are willing to do what it takes have far more freedom than my father or grandfather could have imagined. I say let’s make the most of that. Play the ball where it lies.
Honestly BD, I think you are wrong about the Scandinavian countries being “extreme left wing”. Both the political system and law sector here is different from its U.S. equivalents, so terms like “left” and “right” (just to mention a few) does not even have same meaning.
Apart from that, a very good post!
When I say “left-wing” I mean a) society embraces a strong welfare state, b) society embraces heavy redistribution of income, c) society possesses a strong feminist-like bent.
If you honestly believe those three things don’t apply to Scandinavia more so than most other Western countries, then you’re welcome to your opinion. And I’m welcome to look at you funny.
(Not that most other Western countries are much better. But “not much” is more than “zero”.)
You’re right. As I was explaining to the feminist above, what we “lost” was the perception of this great man-friendly 1950sish world, a perception I don’t share. We never really had it completely, but there are many in the manosphere who believe we did.
I do think we had pieces of it, but not the the guy-fantasy I described.
BD: Be my guest to laugh at anybody you wish, I don’t care. You are the one stating future predictions about a country you don’t even LIVE in, based on three premises you have READ about (1 and 2 are technically right though, but there’s much more to the picture).
The welfare system and redistribution of goods allows people to actually make changes in their own life, _if that’s what they want_. A lot of people don’t want that, but that’s their own choice, not something they are being forced to.
If you get sick and cannot work, welfare rights apply. Welfare money is (in some cases) up to 66% of earlier income, so if you had a high enough income before getting sick, there’s no real reason to try to find a low-income job. Welfare pays better, _the time can be spent on improving oneself_, and feminists (or whoever the “enemy” is) have no legal means to stop you unless you deliberately act stupid. If the hospital has done a mistake, even better. Then additional rights apply, etc, etc, all granted and paid for by the government. It’s all about knowing the system and using it.
We do have some controversial laws like the prohibition of buying sex, but other restrictions has been lifted. In the 1990’s a string of lawsuits made it almost impossible for anyone to use legal means against people who don’t conform to social norms. (The last “out-group” now being Hells Angels and their affiliates.)
More on the Nordic Model: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nordic_model
BTW: If you want to meet some real extreme left-wingers, try http://www.tjen-folket.no
Everything you just described is left-wing.
You’re like one of the fish in the ocean looking around and saying “Water? I don’t see any water here. Where’s the water?”
But I’m not going to debate the Scandinavian welfare system here. Like I said, you’re welcome to your opinions.
*comment deleted*
I am not Jewish, but posting stuff about how everything is one particular religion/race’s fault is off-topic, and more importantly will create flame wars on my blog that I have no interest in. -BD
Your blog will have a steady decline in readership my man. Credibility counts.
Oh Jesus, it’s you again, Orel Pujols? You really need a new act. I asked you nicely last time, now I’m telling you; stop posting here. Post your angry creepy shit somewhere else. Thanks.
“Manosphere Activism” is an oxymoron. I’ve never seen any Manosphere author or even commenter advocate for activism or marching down Pennsylvania avenue to change the current situation.
Instead they advocate exactly what Black Dragon admonishes us to do in this post; simply opt out of the system and safeguard yourself by not getting married, devote your energies to improving yourself in as many ways as possible, and be open to the prospect of expatriation.
Contrary to what Black Dragon seems to believe, the Manosphere actively discourages complaining and whining in favor of detachment and withdrawal. He seems to be confusing MRA’s with the Manosphere. Though the two are born of the same disenfranchisement regarding the status quo, they are largely insulated from, and have something of a disdain for, each other. The Manosphere is defined in part by its rejection of MRA ideals, and vice-versa. The two are not part of the same community by any means.
This post, which was apparently intended to be a call for changes in the Manosphere and the beliefs it embodies and practices, ends up as a treatise on what the Manosphere is to begin with, and an excellent one at that.
Um. You must be reading a different manosphere that I’m reading. “Fighting back the feminists” is a core value of most big-name manosphere guys.
Awesome post BD, unfortunately this is all true. Western society has already collapsed and is just in its death throes, destroyed from within by cultural marxism, the end game of which is the destruction of the nuclear family, children raised and educated by the state and complete collectivism. You can see it in our music, education, reading habits,work ethic, everywhere.
China although technically a marxist country actually has more traditional values than the US mainly loyalty to country and family above all. Its true the family unit is repressive, and unsuitable for players but it is the engine that has put humans on the top of the pyramid, without a strong family unit a country is doomed.
The future of the world is in Asia, I’ll be living there within the next year. I respect what a lot of guys are trying to do but unfortunately its a lost cause. Guys really need to stop arguing with reality and look out for what’s best for themselves and their friends and family.
Step one don’t get married ever. I figured that one out myself.
Step two don’t have any kids. Well maybe I have been lucky but got that also.
These two steps will really simplify your life, free you from government and female control and reduce the amount of money you need to make.
Another kind of alpha?
The non participatory alpha?
Just say NO to beta stuff….
Women, if you don’t marry them or get them pregnant and they don’t have much money they are not nearly as dangerous and much more agreeable….
I genuinely like this post, I found it very insightful.
Given society this is largely how it would play out as per your post.
Ther might be some changes on the way but it would have to take the overhaul of first of all the culture and then secondly getting rid of lobbyists and then overhauling the goverment to make it represent the society itself instead of trying to shove some weird ass social agenda (I don’t mean socialism, I mean some weird agenda to influence society.
As for men yes the men’s movement is long since gone. It never existed anyways except on “Father Known Best” (there’s a bad example of real life if ever there was one).
However I do know what it takes to make Long Term to Really Work
An true understanding of real needs and wants in the other
A real Affinity of the other
Compatible Goals
Compatible Personality
If getting married, seeing the other person’s credit report and scores (for both parties) – and know how to read it. (this is the last step and it is actually a very good representation of the person’s ability to fulfill obligations
I’ll bet very few men and women have ever done and one of these right, much less all 5 of them. These steps are precise and should only be done with someone you have known long term already. I tried recently to do just the needs and wants list with women I had never met and it was either a long laundry list of conditions or they want a fun dominant man to care for them. I wrote the lot of them off and of the 15 women I tried this on went on two dates.
One was upfront about not wanting to get into long term relationships, we had fun talking but I wasn’t actually overly attracted to her (way too skinny). The other wants long term but had this mile long laundry list and when I went on the date she never once looked at me and spent time figeting with the sleeve on her coffee cup. I had decided about 5 minutes in that we weren’t going anywhere and eventually ended the date.
I also noted that any woman that has a laundry list of conditions (this one was 30 items of conditions long) wants a man to start off as her knight in shining armour (I spelled that correctly btw) – but as soon as they go long term be the puppy dog of her dreams that she can show off.
So here’s my think, society will actually go they way you descibed.
I also think that in general mankind is headed for a population decline. In general the white population doesn’t replace itself and is dying out thanks to Puritanistic holdovers that started our society, (ideas that sex is dirty, essentially). I also think though that this will extend into other areas. China for example is industrializing, its gender populations are heavily offset (men outnumber women fairly ) so it will very quickly have a population drop as in general men and women only are allowed one or perhaps two children.
Japan is experiencing this and is already decreasing as you know.
Africa is also starting to industrialize heavily – (most of the fastest growing economies are in Africa). Once this has happened then its populations will start to decline too.
India will be an interesting case. Let’s fact the fact that this is the culture that had popular books on sex and relationships before Rome was built. They also have the world’s oldest religion – its older than the rest of civilization in any way shape or form. (most current civilization is only a few hundred to a thousand years old, India has for the most part existed for thousands of years, China is a close second)
I think that despite current fears of overpopulation, industrialization, plus the fact that most men, including those that traditionally got the girl, no longer do, can no longer get married at 20 or so, coupled with how lousy the government runs the economy, we will have a society that is very much in line, not because I believe it but because the statistics show it.
Of course this new society will actually be transitional. Why? Simple – because something else will come along and a new change will occur during the 22nd century.
All I want to avoid is a world where Big Brother actually exists as in the book 1984. (The components of it exist today and it largely does exist just more subtly than most would realize)
Oswald Spengler’s the best author you can find on this topic.
But an unknown Italian, Leopardi, saw it coming stii many decades earlier than Spengler.
Oswald Spengler’s the best author you can find on this topic.
But an unknown Italian, Leopardi, saw it coming stii many decades earlier than Spengler.
Indeed. The Chinese are in a frenzy over sending all their offspring to American universities, but me thinks China (and maybe Russia) is where people who want the best schools and life conditions will start to move to, in a not so long lapse of time from now.
Although I am not particularly into whining, I can’t help but feel bitter about Western civilization’s collapse.
I mean, we won’t get anything as beautiful, there’s no two ways about it.
Few countries may be preventing denizens from leaving, but the sane ones reject immigrants.
WIthout great entrepreneurial skills and/or an IQ ≥ 135, you don’t get to live in China or Japan, unless to do menial works, which are out of the question for people who read this blog.
This is a very depressing but eye opening post. Sadly, I have to admit your are right, the West has already collapsed.
” you should focus on creating a bubble of happiness and freedom around you. This bubble does not need to be very big. It only needs to encompass you and at most perhaps 2-3 other people in your life, if you want”
I think this is one of the best advice I have ever read, many thanks man !!!