It was 9 months of our relationship full of drama, love, passion, arguments, fights.
While coming up with all kinds of excuses why I shouldn’t do it and how I could fix
unfixable, this time I was sure and I decided to end it. I broke up with her.
After hearing it she wasn’t really surprised or emotionally disturbed. Part of the reason
was that she saw that coming too and the other part was probably that the last 3 times I said it
was over I came back to her after a while.
But, I knew that that won’t happen again. So, I left her there on the streets while driving
home and thinking about the event and about all tips and concepts I read in last several days in
Caleb’s book The Unchained Man.
The book was an eye-opener for me.
It was one of those things that come into your life just at the right time, when you think
that there’s no solution and there’s no way out.
It was just the right piece for my life’s puzzle to continue growing the right way.
Out of all great ideas I read in the book one concept really saved me. Caleb calls this
“The Box”.
By the definition from the book the box is something significant that you imposed on
yourself, some belief that holds you back and restricts your freedom or your long-term,
consistent happiness.
Or in other words it’s your own prison that doesn’t actually exist.
Most of the people have it and I had it too.
For me, among other minor ones the biggest box at the time was my current relationship.
I knew I needed to get out of it.
I did how to get out of the box step by step process form the book and took the most
important concepts to beat that emotionally week me that I knew will come sooner or later.
That same night she called me 2 hours later after I got home. She wanted to get me back.
I didn’t let her do that, but I did let her convince me of this friendship after relationship thing. I
haven’t thought of that possibility, so I just said, OKAY. We became “friends”.
As I realized later, this was a big mistake.
All the problems started emerging again. I had to deal with drama, arguing, jealousy and
all the other things that were reasons why I wanted to get out of the relationship.
I realized that you can’t be friends with an ex you had a long-term monogamous
relationship.
I was trapped. I stopped following the plan.
Because of our relationship I had no more friends or women to go out with. I felt socially
isolated.
I started feeling desperate and needy for sex.
She was the path of least resistance. I called her to come over to my place. We had sex.
I realized that I threw away almost every principle in the book. I broke my promise.
I disappointed the alpha in me.
She slept over.
Next morning, I drove her back and told her this was the last time something like this
happened. I don’t know if she believed me, but I believed myself. IT WAS OVER.
I got back home, pulled out my iPad and revised The box concept and every other
concept, tip, tool I needed from the book to end this once and for all.
This time I wrote a detailed plan and a step by step action I had to do in order to succeed.
Some of the points in the plan:
- go out and approach new women DAILY
- talk to strangers
- smile, always
- call your old friends
- eliminate every interaction with the ex
- concentrate on your mission and your goals
Next to these whenever I felt unhappy or I wanted to get back to her I reminded myself of
the 3 crucial ideas I read in the book:
1. Abundant Life (there are hundreds of other girls just as good or better looking and smart as
her)
2. The Happiness Change Curve (I will be unhappy for a while but that will pass and after it I
will be much happier than I was before)
3. Long-Term Happiness vs. Short-Term Happiness (if I go back to her in that moment of
neediness maybe I will be happy for a while, but I will be unhappy after it for a much longer
period of time)
I would also visualize situations in my mind when I felt shitty and desperate all because
of this relationship. Immediately after it I would visualize how awesome would be to get over
her, be more confident, meet new people, new women and do all the things I didn’t do because
of the relationships. How awesome would it be to live the alpha 2.0 lifestyle.
It’s been over a month that I had something with her. I kept the promise and I feel
amazing. I feel free.
So, how did I change throughout the process?
I changed completely.
My confidence, self image, view of life, motivation, habits, women life, everything
changed and I can’t be more free and happy.
Yesterday, I sat next to a beautiful girl in the bus, even though there were other seats that
were not taken. I started talking to her, and though I discovered she had a boyfriend and that she
was much older than me, I knew she liked me because she would smile no matter what I said.
We talked for about 30 minutes straight and then she got off the bus. Although we haven’t
exchanged numbers I felt like a winner.
Thank you Caleb.