Is It “Impossible” To Get Laid In Certain Cities?

Get Free Email Updates!

Join us for FREE to get instant email updates!


This article originally started out as a few paragraphs in the upcoming post on Australia, but while writing it I realized it belonged as its own separate post and conversation. A phenomenon on the internet I’ve seen for years is men who can’t get laid blaming it on their city rather than themselves.

-By Caleb Jones

These guys sometimes sound convincing when they’re talking to A) a bunch of other guys who can’t get laid or B) a bunch of other guys in their own city or C) a bunch of other guys who are not very well-traveled and haven’t had a lot of exposure to other women in other cities.

I have traveled all over the world and have spent extensive time (as in a week or longer) in many different cities in many different countries. Moreover, as Blackdragon for the past several years, I have spoken with, communicated with, and emailed with literally thousands of men, living all over the world, on the topic of getting laid.

This means I have a lot more information regarding women in different cities as compared to the typical guy on the internet bitching about how much a certain city sucks. That doesn’t mean I know everything, or have absolute knowledge on every city in the world. Far from it. But it does mean that my data holds a lot more weight than your opinion, regardless of how strongly you feel about your option. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it is. Over the years I’ve encountered many examples of men who bitch that their city is difficult or “impossible,” and who are clearly and humorously wrong. I will give you just two of my recent favorites, but I could give you many more.

Example 1
Last time I checked, my return rate on my Blackdragon ebooks was around 3%, despite the fact I offer a lifetime money-back guarantee on all of them. This means about 33 men need to order an ebook from me for one of them to ask for a refund. As such, refund requests happen but are unusual.

One time, I had a guy return one of my ebooks (the online dating one I think) and ask for a refund, which he of course received. His reason for returning the ebook? “I live in Chicago, and your techniques will never work in Chicago. Maybe they work great where you live, but there’s no way they’ll work here.” Notice his language of “they won’t work” instead of “I tried your techniques and they didn’t work.” He read the ebook and didn’t try anything because he was convinced Chicago was somehow too difficult as compared to other cities.

The problem?
1. I personally know at least 15 guys who have used, and are still using, my exact techniques to get laid in Chicago. Most of these guys are normal-looking guys who are not muscular or hot.

2. A few years ago when I did a Blackdragon Retreat in Chicago, one of the guys attending got laid that night by picking up a woman in the bar in the same hotel in which I gave the workshop. A second guy who went to the workshop, an average-looking beta who hadn’t had sex in over a year, got laid six days later. Using my techniques. In Chicago.

3. A few guys I’ve talked to, some of whom have commented on this very blog, “can’t wait” to move to Chicago because (according to them) it’s “easy” to fuck women there. Yet this guy who returned the ebook was convinced that Chicago was some special, difficult exception to the rule.

Example 2
On a big PUA/manosphere web site I won’t mention, a guy was talking about how pickup, game, online dating, and a few other things were “almost impossible” in left-wing, feminist cities like Portland, Oregon. Women had too much ASD in these cities, he said, and all the hot girls only went after super-hot muscular Alphas. It’s quite true that Portland is perhaps the third most left-wing, feminist city in North America (after Toronto and San Francisco). No question about that.

The problem? Um, I live in Portland area, and have my entire life, and I’ve been getting laid for years and years without any unusual problems while living here, having sex 3-4 hours meet-to-lay, using normal online dating, spending under $0-20 most of the time, including much younger women (18-22 year olds), including when I was 40 pounds heavier than I am now.

Moreover, I personally know a few other guys in Portland doing the same thing. Most of these guys are normal-looking dudes of all ages. I’m not the only one. Yet there are all these guys saying getting laid in left-wing Portland is “impossible.” Again, I could give you many more examples of this, but hopefully you get my point about how dumb these men are being. Why This Happens
I’ve observed this for many years, and here’s how this delusion usually occurs:

1. A guy somewhere in the world has trouble getting laid, usually because either he acts too needy with women or because he doesn't follow the correct techniques.

2. Unwilling to take responsibility for his failures, he tries to find other reasons to point to. “Women are bitchy in my city” or "women are too feminist in my city" tend to be the easiest ones, as well as conveniently congruent to a lot of manosphere messaging.

3. He cruises pickup and/or manosphere sites, looking for advice and/or wanting to complain. Thousands of other guys who also can’t get laid are doing the same thing, so he often sees other guys complain about their cities too, but he ignores these statements. His subconscious doesn’t even register them.

4. Eventually, he sees one or two other guys on a web site somewhere complaining about his city. Because angry guys everywhere are complaining about pretty much every major city, this is statistically bound to happen.

5. As soon as he sees these one or two other guys complaining about his city, he screams, “Ah HA! I KNEW IT!!! I’m doing everything right...the problem is MY CITY! All these other guys are saying the same thing! Finally!” Notice he says “all these other guys” when in my experience, he’s usually talking about literally one or two other guys he’s seen bitching on a web site somewhere (though sometimes more).

6. Thusly “validated,” he proceeds to lock in the belief that his city is “more difficult” or “impossible” because the “women here suck” and frowns the rest of his life. (Or in some more extreme cases, starts looking to move to another city to find his Unicorn Woman.)

7. As he’s saying this, many other guys, often men who are less good-looking and less Alpha than him, are putting in the time and effort and are fucking cute girls in his city left and right without a problem. I’ve seen this process play out with men on the internet over and over again, and I’m sure I’ll continue to see it in the future.

You could literally pick any major Western city completely at random, and post on a forum or blog somewhere that "game doesn't work in this city" or some such, and you'd have a few guys post right behind you that hell yes, you're absolutely right, that it's "impossible" to get laid in this random city. (Seriously. Pick a completely random city and try this on a PUA or manosphere web site, and you'll see.)

But Aren’t Some Cities Harder Than Others?
At this point a few of you angry dudes are thinking:
Fuck you Blackdragon! I live in and I know for a fucking fact that it’s harder to get laid here. It’s not just one or two guys who agree with me either! It’s tons of guys! Go look at this web site over here, they’re taking about it! Not all cities are the same, and for you to say they are is bullshit! You’re full of shit!!

Alright Mr. Angry, Let’s examine that question for a minute, because despite your shitty attitude, it’s a valid question to ask. Are some cities objectively harder than others in terms of getting fast, easy sex?
The answer is yes, and I’ve been saying that for many years. Is it easier to get laid in Rio than in New York City, provided all other factors remain equal? Yes, it is. New York is more difficult than Rio.

But wait, the conversation isn’t over. Does that mean it’s “impossible” to get laid on New York? Does that mean normal online game “doesn’t work” in New York? Does that mean older-guy, younger-women game is “impossible” there unless you pay the girls?
Of course not. I know plenty of guys who use normal online game, and with younger women, to get laid in NYC.

Saying NYC is harder than Rio is very different than saying you “can’t get laid” in NYC. The first statement is correct. The second statement is just stupid. Are there a few Western cities in the world that are objectively and truly harder than others, in terms of getting to fast, easy sex?

Yes. I know for a fact that Toronto is a difficult city. I know for a fact that Copenhagen is a difficult city. Based on my data (and remember, I probably have a lot more data on this topic than you do), I’d say those are probably the two most difficult Western cities to get laid in quickly. I could be wrong, but that's where the data is pointing. So yes, I admit and openly state there are some difficult cities.

But again, am I going to say it’s “impossible” to get laid in Toronto or Copenhagen? That online dating “doesn’t work” in those cities? That you can only get laid there if you’re a young, super good-looking muscle freak?

Nope. Not only would that be stupid, but it would be inaccurate. Why? Because I know normal-looking guys who get laid in those cities. Granted, these guys do have to work harder and put in more numbers than a guy living in Orlando or San Diego, but they still get laid. They don’t sit around like some of you do, bitching on web sites about how it’s “impossible” to get laid in their town. While you’re bitching, they’re putting in the work and getting laid.

And let’s not forget my advice about moving. If you truly live in an objectively harder city, and getting laid is extremely important to you, then stop whining like a pussy, pack your shit, and MOVE. But I’ve already discussed that before.
This leads me to Australia, where I am now as I type these words. On this blog, and an a few other sites, you may have seen a few Australia-bitchers saying things like it’s “impossible” to get laid here (unless maybe you’re a young muscular Alpha), or that normal online game “doesn’t work” here, or that younger women won’t fuck older men here unless they’re paid, etc, etc.

Just like with the cases above, I know normal-looking guys in Sydney and Melbourne who are using all those techniques and getting laid right now. While some men are saying it’s impossible, other men are busy doing it.

I’ve spent a week in Australia already (Sydney and Melbourne), and I don’t find the women here radically different than other women in any other major Western city I’ve spent time in. Same ASD, same “strong independent woman” bullshit, but no more than most other cities. This is a ubiquitous Western thing, not an only-Australian thing. To think this is only in Australia is arrogant as it is stupid.

When I post about Australia later this week I’ll discuss a little more of that, but I promise you that if I lived here, or had more time here than just a week, I would get laid here no problem, with hot/young chicks, using all of my normal techniques. Bullshit! Why don’t you fuck any women there right now then?!? Fucking prove it if you think it’s so easy!

Alright, challenge accepted, though it still won’t change your mind. Here’s what I hereby officially promise:

1. Some time in the next few years (and no, I can’t give you an exact date) I will spend 3-4 weeks in Australia, likely Sydney.

2. During that time, I will have sex with at least one, perhaps more than one much younger hot chick using normal online game (not Tinder and not sugar daddy sites, though I may still experiment with those as well) and I will do it without spending more than $30 meet-to-lay.

3. When I announce I’ve done this, it still won’t convince any of you Australia-bitchers, since you want this to be a problem. You want the excuse. You’ll come up with some crap about how it was only possible for me “because I’m Blackdragon” or “because I’m American” or some other excuse. Then you’ll continue to steam behind your keyboard (and not get laid).

In other words, the entire exercise will be useless. But I’ll do it anyway just to show everyone else how dumb you guys are being about this. Plus Sydney chicks are super hot, but I'll discuss that on Thursday.

In review:
1. Yes, some cities are harder than others. You can still get laid in those cities as long as you put in the extra effort and numbers.

2. Saying that getting laid or a certain type of game is “impossible” in your city is stupid, and it makes you look stupid when you say it. Normal-looking guys right now are getting laid in your city, with cute girls, using the very methods you’re saying are “impossible.”

3. If you have some objective evidence (one or two other guys on the internet bitching about your city isn’t objective evidence) that your city is indeed harder than others, and getting laid is important to you, stop bitching and move somewhere else.

Want over 35 hours of how-to podcasts on how to improve your woman life and financial life? Want to be able to coach with me twice a month? Want access to hours of technique-based video and audio? The SMIC Program is a monthly podcast and coaching program where you get access to massive amounts of exclusive, members-only Alpha 2.0 content as soon as you sign up, and you can cancel whenever you want. Click here for the details.
[xyz-ips snippet="comments"]